Pacific Heights Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Pacific Heights is one of those films where you feel like the main villain gets real lucky. His strategy of sabotage is very high risk since if you try this with the wrong person you are absolutely going to get shot. A lot of people just wouldn’t tolerate this guy’s antics right from the jump. The movie can be a bit annoying in that way as the main character also makes so many mistakes that he basically sabotages himself here. You wish that he would be able to make the right move at least once instead of crashing further and further.

The movie kicks off with two people being beat up and then we cut to Drake and Patty as the main characters. They are brand new landlords who have made an investment into buying a house so they can lease out the rooms. It’s a big investment but this does tend to be a fairly lucrative career as you can make a whole lot of money out of it. You do have to have a strong personality for it though because you will have to deal with crazy residents from time to time. They’re confident that they can find the right people though and so when Carter shows up and is too scared to do a credit check, Drake is not worried. This guy is going to pay “up-front later” which sounds like a contradiction but since when do wire transfers bounce right? Well the money never arrives and the guy has locked himself in the room while doing a lot of drilling. He’s also invited other people into the apartment and they are doing something crazy there. Can Drake and Patty stop this guy before he wrecks their livelihood?

Now one thing you should know is that landlords have a whole lot of power. Why do you think you hear so many stories of people being kicked to the curb? The power is not unlimited but Drake absolutely had some real options here. Not allowing Carter to buy the house before paying would certainly have been a good start but after that you’re not yet doomed. He should have broken the lock when he found out it was changed because that goes against the building policy. By the time he calls the locksmith all of the damage is already done. He should have gone to the cops way sooner instead of trying to handle it himself which is really where things backfired a lot.

Later on he is baited into entering the building again while there is a restraining order in place which was not a good idea and he just falls for every trap like beating up on Carter in front of the cops. He really makes the villain’s job super easy. He also didn’t react well with his girlfriend because he got so stressed out that he starts to be rude to her as well so even their relationship starts to get a little rocky. Drake’s whole life is falling apart and to a large extent he is the one digging his own grave.

Of course at the end of the day Carter is still the villain here and the one who needs to be blamed but you just know that Drake should have handled things way better. Patty had a much cooler head throughout the film. Unfortunately she didn’t tend to think of many ideas to help so in that way both of them were doomed but at least she wasn’t actively sabotaging their only chances of winning the case. See, they hire an attorney (Stephanie) to represent them in kicking Carter out and it should be an open and shut case but Drake being tricked into assault and violating court orders doesn’t help things at all. It was a really bad look for him.

As for Carter, surprisingly there isn’t some kind of big twist like Drake bullied him in high school or he wants revenge on the family for firing him. None of that, to this guy it’s just a business and he makes a whole career out of messing up people’s homes. It’s certainly a crazy hobby if I’ve ever heard of one but he just keeps going at it and has done all right for himself all these years. He got beat up in the opening so at least that group gave him a scare but realistically he’ll just use that to sue and cause a fuss unless you hide any evidence linking you to the beating. So you either have to take him down for good or put him in a position where he can’t sabotage your place later on.

I absolutely don’t blame the other neighbors for moving out either because there’s no way they could put up with this. The loud drilling at night was just way too crazy and of course Carter also causes a whole roach infestation. Roaches are hard to deal with and when you know where they are coming from but can’t do anything about it then that becomes a problem. The house was basically not salvageable at that point. I’m impressed they were even able to start rebuilding the place after the way everything was broken.

Patty’s plan of revenge had some promise although I think she needed to take it a little further to be really effective. Ultimately if she had gotten away a bit sooner then at least he might not have figured out it was her but at the end of the day it’s still just a minor inconvenience at best. You need to find a way to lock him up for a longer period of time although a large part of the blame also goes to the lady who agreed to pay Carter’s bail because that was crazy.

The film’s fairly tame although the climax naturally gets a little intense. Ultimately fighting in an unfinished house will always feel really dangerous because there are nails everywhere. Drake looks awful throughout the climax so the less said about him the better. I can tell you that I definitely expected much better out of him. At the very least the adrenaline and rage should have carried him through a lot better than they did.

Overall, Pacific Heights is one of those films that’s mainly annoying because of how the main character does everything half heartedly and as a result he constantly gets into trouble. You have to go 100% at anything you try to do because otherwise you are definitely going to be in trouble. At the end of the day I would say the film was decent. It doesn’t have a whole lot of replay value to me but it wasn’t bad either. If you’re looking for a film where the resident has the edge over the landlord for once then this is an interesting one to check out. You just know that if this guy went up against any experienced landlord then he would be in a whole world of trouble and I don’t love his odds of surviving.

Overall 6/10

Logan’s Run Review

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Now I will say that the film has a good poster so lets start off with a solid positive here. Unfortunately that’s where things begin to fade really fast. This film has a very interesting premise though, it should have been a great movie but it really loses all its steam once the characters go outside when it really should have been the opposite. That’s the tragic part here and this is a film where I’d actually like a remake someday which I think could execute the premise better.

So the film takes place in the future where nobody is allowed to live past 30. Everyone has a click built into their hand in the form of a gemstone and that’s how people know when your time is up. The government pulled a fast one though and convinced people that they weren’t dying but were instead being reborn. When you see the bodies blowing up that’s just how the transfer goes. There is a full time job where you work as a “Sandman” and your role is to murder people who try to escape the merry go round of death. Unfortunately for the runners the Sandmen are very good at their job and so they do tend to crush just about everyone who gets in their way.

The main character here is Logan. I should note that every character has a number at the end of their name signifying how many times they have been renewed but just to keep things simple I’m going to bypass that for now all right? So Logan is a proud sandman but he does ask a lot of questions which annoys his partner Francis. Francis says they shouldn’t worry about the details and they just do what they’re told. Well one day Logan meets a girl named Jessica who has connections to the underground resistance and he starts to have more doubts. The government tasks Logan with going undercover into the resistance to snuff them out but instead he becomes a runner since the government fumbled the ball.

I think Logan would have gone all in as a traitor but they sped up the time on his gem so that he would be “renewed” sooner which messed Logan up and that led him to get a little desperate. Understandably the resistance doesn’t trust him much since Sandmen never become runners so Logan and Jessica are mainly on their own. Up to this point I wouldn’t say the film was great or anything but it did have some interesting ideas. It struggles a bit with some fanservice issues and Logan not being a very sympathetic character. (He was cackling and having a blast tormenting the first runner that he helped murder) Still this was living up to the premise and you were curious where things would go from here.

Well, from there they go to the “real world” outside the dome at least and it’s basically Earth except everyone is gone aside from an old man. This is where the pacing of the movie just dies and you are frozen in place. The old man talks to them about basic facts that of course Logan and Jessica wouldn’t know while they are astounded by everything. The scenes drag on for an eternity and the whole time you’re just waiting for something to happen but it never does. You’re just completely frozen in place the whole while. I understand that the movie was trying to show how different the world was but this is definitely a show don’t tell kind of scenario.

Because as the viewer we know everything being discussed, it’s really boring to see it all slowly broken down. It’s all so very slow and that’s the problem. The movie never recovers its steam after this. We get a quick fight with Francis which was a good way to end that plot but then it’s back to walking around with the old man. The movie ultimately just didn’t go in the direction I was expecting and in this case it ended up backfiring as a whole. I just don’t think the payoff worked well at all.

I did like the robot that showed up in the ice area though. It actually seemed to be rather effective considering how many people were stopped there. Give me more cool robots like that. It reminded me that this was a film taking place in the future as you could easily forget that once you were above ground. Now another area that the film could have improved on would have been to make the main character a little more likable. Make him not be such a big jerk at the beginning of the film. Have him question things including why they should murder runners. You could maybe have him still complete the mission but he shouldn’t be enjoying it or toying with the guy at all.

It’s a small but sizable difference that would make him better. The fact that he is using the futuristic version of Tinder didn’t help matters either since it shows the kind of guy he was. He may have grown up in a society without morals but it would have been nice if he was just a bit better. He was certainly way more grounded than Francis but that isn’t saying much. Meanwhile Jessica was a good heroine but even though things worked out in hindsight, I do think she believed Logan a little too quickly. As the viewer we see Logan changing but in universe there’s no way I’d believe him for a second.

Still at the end of the day the villains only lost because the computer really wasn’t very smart. If it just hadn’t done something as drastic as stealing years away from Logan then he may not have been so quick to truly become a runner. I guess it helps his cover story but why not just lie to him when he asks if he will get the time back? If the robot can’t lie then that is definitely a pretty big weakness for it.

Overall, The title is pretty fitting for this film but it should have stayed fast paced. If more of the movie was some kind of grand chase scene then that would have really helped with the momentum. You can absolutely still introduce an old human to help them see that you can grow past 30 but speed up the dialogue. Give the guy some real personality and I dare say that you could do a whole lot with that. Instead this ends up being a movie that lost its way and I would definitely say that you can give this one a full skip. There really isn’t much here for you.

Overall 3/10

Fire Emblem Engage Review

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Fire Emblem is one of Nintendo’s greatest franchises of all time and I’ve been meaning to play one of the main games for ages. Now at last I’ve made it. There may be some debate as to this being a spinoff or a main title but I absolutely give it the nod to hanging out with the other originals. It just works really well there with the classic gameplay. Nintendo has likely got the game of the year here with Engage since it’s hard to see this one being defeated. The story is phenomenal and every single aspect of the game is super polished from the dynamite soundtrack to the top tier graphics. Whether you like the tactics style or not you should check this one out.

The game starts off with Alear and the 12 Fire Emblem fighters of legend teaming up to deal some absolutely devastating damage to the villains. They even manage to destroy the villain and bring the world to peace. 1000 years pass and Alear wakes up in the present to find out that he is worshipped as a divine dragon. Unfortunately his waking was not coincidental as he is quickly attacked by the corrupted. They are a race of powerful villains, albeit fairly mindless ones who are aiming to really cause a lot of trouble. They are working for a group of villains who are trying to take over all of the kingdoms and steal the 12 Emblem Rings. Alear and friends will have to try and get them first but this adventure will go through a whole lot of twists and turns first.

The game took me over 24 hours to complete according to the playtime but if you count retries and such I’m confident it was a lot longer. Fortunately I had a lot of time to play this game, you make time for the top tier titles after all and I can’t think of the last time I marathoned a game so hard. It’s just because this is the kind of game you can’t put down. It’s just way too exhilarating and exciting. The rush you get while playing the story here is not something that just any game can get. You can imagine how much story content there is in such a long game and no expense was spared on the cutscenes.

For example a lot of games will have some cutscenes sporadically but this one has such long cutscenes that the switch would constantly dim from power saver mode and you’d have to make the screen go bright again. Additionally there is full voice acting in just about every step of the game which is incredibly impressive. You hear all the voices in the main story missions, the side quests, etc. It’s a lot of extra detail here and it’s the little things like that which make the game feel extra special. As I mentioned there are a lot of great tunes throughout the game as well and it starts with a very solid intro theme. The music can get quite emotional and then switch to action paced on a dime.

In terms of replay value it goes without saying that there is a lot to do here. After beating the game you can play through the tower of trials and a lot of other modes. There are extra paralogue chapters where you can meet characters and you can also increase all of your bonds with the characters to unlock bonus cutscenes. A nice bonus of watching these cutscenes is that they increase the bond level of your fighters further which increases the stats. There are even minigames like doing pushups to make your characters stronger. I didn’t touch too many of the bonus modes but there is just an incredible amount of content here.

Now if I have my first minor issue it’s that it can be difficult to see which weapon is more powerful to buy at the shop. In most games it’s quite easy to pick out the one you want since you compare it to the weapon you are holding but there is no easy menu to do that. Additionally every weapon has close to 11 stats and the one with the higher attack isn’t always stronger thanks to speed and type advantages. As a result that muddies the water even more and you almost don’t want to destroy any items. On the other hand it’s hard to earn money here so you really need to do that if you want more funds.

It’s a tough pickle for sure but this is a strategy game so that may be intentional. You can also adopt animals in this game which was cool. I made sure to rescue every animal I came across in the level hub worlds because as a hero I could do no less! You can pet them and feed them once you’re back at base which is fun. This is really a complete game. There’s nothing that feels like it was held back for DLC although we are getting several waves of that already. This is a game that was complete out of the box and I can always appreciate that.

Wow I still haven’t talked much about the gameplay right? Well, it’s your classic strategy turn based style so you move your fighters from area to area as you try to take out the enemy commander. Occasionally the objective will be something different but this is generally how it plays out. As the game starts you will control a few players but by the end you will control as many as 14 while the opponent has 30+. So it’s all about choosing when to start battles and when to avoid them. Like in Chess each character has a different amount of spaces they can move and their abilities are all different so you have to take that into account.

As you bond with your emblem you can learn new skills to stack on top of the old one as well. The gameplay is very thorough so pay attention to all of the tutorials. In terms of strategies my main tip is to always use Segall and Byleth as separate characters so don’t pair them together. The reason is that Segall can allow a player to get a second turn while Byleth can restore 4 turns. So if you use this as a combo right you can get 5 extra turns in the blink of an eye which is super handy. I used this combo a lot near the end of the game. There are plenty of other cool abilities as well so at the end of the day the main thing to remember here is to try and use each ability to the best you can. If you do that then you’ll be just fine.

If you die, no worries. You have a time crystal so you can respawn on any previous turn and rethink your strategy. Keep grinding out different formations until you have secured victory! The fight animations here are also really cool with complete choreography for each move. Admittedly I started skipping them after a while just for time’s sake as watching every attack would probably double or triple my overall play time. I do like that they put a whole lot of effort into this.

Overall, Fire Emblem Engage is an elite title and you will definitely enjoy your playthrough of it. I always enjoy tactics gameplay but that alone wouldn’t make this an elite game. No, what pushes this one over the top is how fantastic the story is. It’s one of the more emotional titles you’ll play in a while and it just has a super satisfying ending which seals the deal. I don’t go into much details here because it’s the kind of story where you want to go in fresh but there are just so many dynamite characters all around. Whether you’ve played Fire Emblem or not, you can absolutely jump into this one. It’s very new player friendly and you will have no regrets when going through the adventure.

Overall 9/10

The Invisible Man (2020) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to take a look at the Invisible Man. After the Mummy remake turned out to be fairly bad, it was time for this one to shake things up. Unfortunately I am here to tell you that the Mummy was significantly better which is not a good thing. This one ultimately takes an approach to the story that was likely doomed from the start and any promising aspects are overwhelmed by the negatives. I do think that a sequel would automatically be starting off in a much better place though and I’m ready for that.

The movie starts off with Cecilia escaping from her abusive boyfriend Adrian and drives off with her sister Emily. Cecilia lives with James and his daughter Sydney as she hides out from him. One day she finds out that Adrian destroyed himself but it feels rather odd that he would just give up like that. Sure enough, he appears to be back but invisible somehow and he intends to keep tormenting her and isolating her from her friends and family. Can Cecilia stop him or at this point is he a ghost that can’t truly be stopped?

Right off the bat what the film did wrong here is it went too far on showing just how psychotic Adrian was as the villain. We learn quite a bit about the abuse and how far it went into gritty territory and once you go there it’s pretty much a death sentence for a film. You want to go in there and get ready for some thrilling chase scenes and wonder how the heroine will come out on top. Instead now there was already so much damage done that it’s like you’ve lost the fight before it even began. Just a very unfortunate way to kick things off and so you’re not able to have a whole lot of fun during the film. Cecilia is naturally very traumatized for almost the whole film. There’s a lot of crying and a somber tone throughout the movie so at the end of the day what you’ve got is a very emotional horror title as opposed to a thrilling one.

Now, when you have a villain who is invisible you figure it’s going to be very hard to stop him. That’s part of the fear factor in dealing with such a villain and yet the movie starts to mess up there. There’s one point in the film where the Invisible Man murders someone right next to Cecilia and then tries to frame her for this. The big issue of course is that with the security footage you should immediately be able to see that the knife was lifted on its own and that she didn’t do it. This was a very fancy restaurant so they had to have cameras in there and the worst part is that you could have easily written around that. Have him wait until she picks up the knife to eat some food later on and then stab the victim with that.

There wasn’t any food ordered yet but that’s just a clean way of doing it. Most aspects of the Invisible Man work beyond that like his being super silent is fine. I can definitely see that working based on how the invisibility works. It’s not really a stretch. I’m a bit more iffy on his walking through the metal detectors at the entry of the prison but sure lets say the suit is fully plastic. One more iffy part is when he’s taking out a whole platoon of guards though. So for context his suit was damaged earlier so he was flickering in and out a whole lot, however during the fight it almost works perfectly so he vanishes for large amounts of time. It starts flickering again once he’s outside but even if he was invisible the whole fight, the guards could have handled that way better.

It’s obvious that Cecilia isn’t stabbing them because she’s on the ground many feet away. So once the guards start going down they should be firing in all directions to clip the villain or throwing a punch. They should be doing something at least right? Instead they just keep pointing their guns at Cecilia and telling her to stand down when that’s not helping matters at all. It is an interesting fight scene of course and I can even buy the Invisible Man beating them all, but just not in the way that it went down.

If I’m going to drill down further I think another big issue here is the film overexplained why this would all be feasible for Adrian to the point where people should have believed this more. Adrian is the world’s foremost expert on optic technology. If someone were to be invisible, well it would have to use optical technology right? That shouldn’t be a stretch to say that he found a way to do it and faked his death. So at least have someone look into it. Additionally his mansion seemed fully intact and as if nobody really went in to dig around. If they had then they might have seen something.

Now the film does have a pretty intense ending that has a lot of potential for a sequel. It was a drastic way for one character to go but I think it makes for a powerful ending and honestly there probably weren’t any alternatives at that point. There was no way to take things further within the realms of the law there. I hope this character puts on the brakes and doesn’t escalate further though as there was sort of an implied threat at the end. Right now I think this person would follow through on that threat but I hope it doesn’t come down to that. My only issue is that one character looks worse retroactively here.

Put it this way, there is only one way for the ending to work and it requires having certain equipment. The owner of this equipment should have known way before this scene that it was gone and that would eliminate the element of surprise right? I mean this character knows there is only one person who would steal this and so he would be very prepared for what might come later on? You also question the house alignment not to notice what was being prepped.

Well, there’s a lot to analyze here but pretty much all of that I can overlook except for the restaurant scene which was a bit much. Maybe also the kid (Sydney) getting punched since you can really tell the difference when you’re getting punched by the Invisible Man or Cecilia. Cmon now there is a massive difference there and the texture would also be very different considering how the Invisible Man would have hit her. Okay this actually makes another nitpick come to mind here.

So when he follows her into various places like the prison cell, hospital, etc. No matter how fast he is, how does nobody notice how the door stays open for an extra second? Unless you tell me that he perfect times it to dash after them before the door closes or slips under their arm while they hold it open, that should be really tough to manage each and every time. This one’s a full nitpick though since it can be done and since the Invisible Man is a martial arts master he has full control over his body and all.

The concept of the Invisible Man is pretty cool and there’s a lot of utility there in a horror, action, or even comedy context. There’s a lot you can do with this but they should have just made him a random psycho/mass murderer instead of going for the abusive angle here. If you’re going to go that route then just don’t go all the way and keep it to minimal physical/emotional violence like a few hits or something. That’s still incredibly serious without going all the way into grim dark territory.

I was glad that the dog didn’t die here so I’ll give the film some props there. Ultimately while Cecilia didn’t handle some situations as well as she could have, she did well in escaping during the intro and taking care of business by the end. I’d say she worked well as the lead. Her sister Emily also did a good job It was a bit annoying that she was so slow to starting the car in the intro which nearly cost Cecilia everything but beyond that she was a steadfast ally the whole time. Ultimately she had to go through a lot and it was reasonable that she had a point where she got upset because it’s hard to believe that what happened to her was a frame-up.

James was a good guy who helped give Cecilia a place to stay and heal on her terms. He was a supportive guy all the way through to the end and that’s why if Cecilia were to turn on him then that would lose her a lot of points. Yes he also had a point where he distanced himself but considering the context I don’t see how you could possibly blame him at all. I don’t see how Cecilia could either because she would fully understand. Same goes for Sydney who does her best to be supportive to a point. The final supporting character is Adrian’s brother Tom and naturally you’ll be suspicious of him the whole time. The instant that he says he’ll just let Cecilia have all the money without a fuss you figure there has to be something to this guy.

Overall, The Invisible Man’s main problem is that it’s just not a very enjoyable film for most of the run as it can be tough to watch for large chunks of it. It’s a very somber title with a whole lot of dark elements and while a horror film can be visually dark, it should also be very engaging and have its share of moments where it’s lighthearted or at least you’re having fun enjoying something. The film can be quite violent but I would say it’s definitely not on the same level as most slashers or big time horror films so the movie actually did show some restraint on that end. Now based on what the plot for the sequel can be, we’re either going to see one of the biggest jumps in quality for a sequel yet or it’s going to double down and things will get tricky from there. We’ll see how it plays out but as long as it includes some fun this time around then we should be good.

Overall 1/10

Glengarry Glen Ross Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Now this film is one that I hadn’t heard of before and I feel like I’d remember seeing the name around since it’s fairly unique. It’s about a bunch of salesman just talking for a while so on the surface that may sound a bit dull to some but I am always up for a ton of talking as long as it’s interesting. It’s like watching a podcast to an extent as you have visuals here. It ends up being a fun film and I would even say that it goes by quickly. You really get to see how tough it is to be in sales.

The film starts off with John summoning all of his salesmen into the office because corporate is sending someone over. The problem is that their umbers have slipped big time and corporate doesn’t like that one bit. The guy they send in is a man named Blake who really destroys them all verbally over and over again. This guy then announces that they will be firing 2 out of the 4 salesmen at the end of the month. This will be based purely on sales so you have to be in the top 2 before this is all over or you’re doomed. The job was already stressful but this has pushed things over the edge.

The way this works is the boss (John) will give each salesman 2 leads and after they successfully close out the deals then you get more leads. Unfortunately the leads that Shelley, Dave, and George are getting are so old that they haven’t been able to sell anything. Effectively the clients they are trying to sell products too just don’t have the money for them or have no interest. Meanwhile the top salesman Richard is doing really good. He gets the best leads and always delivers so the company continues to give him the best leads. It’s a really intense cycle and one that doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon. The salesmen will have to surpass their limits here.

While Blake only appears in that opening scene he definitely leaves a great impression. I know a ton of his lines just from popular culture and memes because the speech is very memorable. The guy is absolutely not someone you’d want to be around and it would be tempting to quit on the spot. It’s hard to take that kind of onslaught in person even when you really need the job. Ultimately nobody is able to walk away though in part because of how desperate they are so they can only talk big once he has already left. Sometimes that is just how it goes. This guy certainly earns a lot of money so on the surface you might think that he was right but you have to remember that at this point he’s high enough where he likely controls the leads he gets and he gets money just for being an exec.

It’s why people are always jaded when the big boss comes in to talk about how great he is at the job. Usually when you’re up there it is just a completely different ballgame and so you are going to naturally be very skeptical about it. The main salesmen definitely do a lot of complaining the whole film about the leads but you definitely get it. If your job security is tied to making a sale to someone who has no interest in buying anything then you are really going to be in a very tough spot.

I would say the main character here is Shelley. He’s desperate to have some money as he needs to send some for his daughter’s school but no matter how hard he tries, nobody is buying anything. I should explain now that the company basically sells real estate but in a scam kind of way where they have to dress this up in a million different ways to try and get people to buy it. It makes sense that people would naturally be very skeptical about this. Shelley tries every trick in the book but things are not getting any easier for him. He used to be a top salesman back in the day but the others say he is in a slump while he blames the leads.

Then you have Dave who has a lot of confidence in himself but also explains that selling with the bad leads is impossible. He suggests to the other salesman George that maybe they should break into the office and steal the good leads. After all, seemingly as if to taunt them corporate did bring in a ton of really great leads that should be top contenders. If you get one of those then you will get a ton of sales or better yet, you can sell them to a competitor and make a lot of money. George is tempted by Dave’s offer but it’s also super risky as Dave wants George to go in and steal them while Dave creates an alibi for himself. Additionally Dave will be taking more money out of the cut while George takes all of the risk so that doesn’t seem like a very smart idea. George is desperate though so he has a choice to make here.

Finally you have Richard who is really having a great time manipulating everyone. He has the kind of confidence that you can only obtain through experience and success. Everything has been looking up for him so why wouldn’t he be very pleased with himself right? As a result he panics less than the others and just generally has a great time but of course things can’t go so easy for long right? He missed out on the meeting with corporate since he couldn’t be bothered and has been dominating the charts for a long time. It is nice to see his transformation though once things start to get really tense.

A film like this will live or die based on if the story is interesting. Since the characters are talking nonstop you have to enjoy what they’re talking about or that’s it. Well I can definitely say that the dialogue works out well here. Of course this is one case where the edited version does some heavy lifting as the amount of quick silences thrown in to block out the script is crazy. Without that then this would probably be a bit tricky but it works out and that’s what counts. So I got to really enjoy the dialogue this way and it’s that fast paced way of talking that works really well here. Everyone starts to talk at once at some points and all of the yelling works really well to understand the team dynamics here. Some conversations intentionally go around in circles as well which adds to the fun of it.

Overall, This was a pretty good movie. I would say that I enjoyed it more than I expected that I would. The movie turns a fairly simple premise into a movie that is engaging from start to finish. The character cast works well as they bounce off of each other a lot. I would have liked the corporate guy to show up again in the end but the ending that the movie chose still worked rather well. It balances the humor and seriousness of the situation well and at the end of the day plenty of people constantly vent about their jobs but still go back and continue to work anyway. That’s basically how it is for these salesmen and I doubt any of them will leave unless they are fired. The ending brings some nice twists and this is a very complete experience.

Overall 7/10

Freejack Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Freejack is definitely a film with a lot going on. It’s a pretty fun sci-fi title with a unique view on the future. Sure we’ve seen some of these elements before like body snatching and the dystopia world but it mixes in enough of these to feel different. I also think it had a fun script at times. It’s not perfect though with my main issue being that the main character can be a bit annoying and it feels like he’s trying to sabotage the group after a while.

The film starts with everything going really well for Alex. He has a fiancé who is already thinking about marriage and he’s a top racer. Unfortunately he is snatched into the future by some kind of sci-fi device and barely lives through the experience. They try to stab him with some kind of other sci-fi device so he runs off and hops in a cab but the driver tries to murder him so he runs off into the city and meets up with his best friend Ian. Unfortunately Ian betrays him for money so he finds his fiancé but then she sells him out to the government so he’s all on his own. Why is everyone against him? Alex knows that he will need to do something or he’s about to die unceremoniously and alone but if there’s one thing he’s always been good at, it’s improvising…in theory. Can he survive this experience?

I will say it’s a bit funny how everything turns out badly for him at first though. Seriously when the cab driver is trying to take you down as well then you know you’re in a real pickle here. Now you do have to cut Julie some slack for not believing that Alex was back from the dead. There is a good reason for this which is that in the future “Freejacks” (Or they might just be called Jacks) are bodies of dead people that have been purchased by someone in the future. So for example, Alex was “bought” by a rich person so he was taken away right before he died and in fact he would have died in a car crash if he wasn’t warped into the future. According to the law that means he is legally dead and would be possessed by someone.

The reason the mind transfer didn’t happen is because Alex escaped at the last possible moment but there’s no reason for Julie to actually believe that. It would seem like a real longshot but ultimately she does believe it is him. He’s rather sore about the initial reaction but I think he should have been more understanding all things considered. His worst moment is after that though. He’s still sulking and gets drunk at a bar where he talks to a camera crew which lets the villains know where he is. Cmon that’s just not smart. I get that he’s in shock still at everything going on but the one thing you shouldn’t do is heavy drinking then because that’s just going to get you in a lot of trouble.

Alex is good at driving though so I’ll give him that. One of the best parts of the film is a car chase early on where the bounty hunter Victor is after him. There’s a lot of back and forth as each one tries to get the edge and I like how Victor hacked Alex’s computer so he’s trash talking the whole time. The movie is definitely at its best when it is enjoying the banter between the characters and I think having more of the film take place on the road would have absolutely been a great idea. Trust me on this that would have been a really good idea.

The film also excels with the ending though. Without going into details there is a classic scenario where the villain starts the mind transfer but then the machine breaks. So the characters have to figure out if it’s Alex or Ian in the body and the way they get around this is fairly clever. The ending is just a blast with a certain character looking great and a lot of “playing it by ear” going on among various characters. I would go as far as to say that the ending was great to be honest and it was really a spectacular way to finish things off. A strong ending is important for any film so this ended on a high note.

Julie was a good main heroine. She did a solid job of really rising to the top ranks of a company while Alex was gone and she had a firm hold on her life. She didn’t let Alex’s disappearance break her and she was able to move on. It’s definitely the right approach and she helps out throughout the film. At times she is definitely more on the ball than Alex to be honest as the guy even nearly gets himself shot to death in a bar. I mean it’s good that he didn’t back off when the drunk guy made eye contact with him but it would be a really rough way to go. You didn’t die saving the world but looking at someone the wrong way? Not very hype on the tombstone.

Ian is sort of the main villain. I say sort of because I would give that to Victor in terms of screen time but Ian is the head honcho. He’s an old guy who wants to be immortal but he does have charisma so I thought that the film did a good job there. Victor steals the show though as he talks tough to everyone. He starts breaking random objects in the office of the guy who hired him which shows just how much confidence he has. I also liked the scene of him testing his right hand man and then saying he was actually testing the lie detector. Like I said there is a lot of very clever dialogue here.

The only real weak point here is the main character because he was really annoying at times. Technically I like the character type the film was going for. The very aggressive lead who is super confident and ready for action. He never backs down from a fight and those are all great traits but he could have been a little smarter. It would have made the whole film a lot easier for him as well since he gets lucky quite a few times otherwise. While the romance is okay, I think it’s going to be hard to make it work after the time skip since there should be close to a 15-18 year age difference now. That’s a fairly long gap even though you know the person. That said, I think a sequel would be very interesting given how this film ends. I think there’s a whole lot you could do with that.

Overall, I rather enjoyed Freejack. It’s a film that is having fun with the premise and showing us a dystopian world without being too gritty about it. You absolutely wouldn’t want to live in this future and that’s obvious as the characters walk around town but we don’t really dwell on that. Most of the film feels like it’s the main character running from place to place and trying not to get caught so the pacing is always really quick here. I also give it points for being very unique so if you’re looking for a solid sci-fi title then this one fits the bill.

Overall 7/10

RWBY: Fairy Tales of Remnant Review

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This book came out a long while ago so it’s about time that I check it out right? It’s a spinoff so the main characters aren’t here and it’s really a bit of a meta book as this is basically meant to be a book that exists in universe as something that Professor Ozpin would hand out. As a result the stories aren’t exactly real per say. It’s heavily implied that parts of them are real or at least based on something which is really the point of the book in the end but at the same time since the complete stories aren’t real it does make you give it the side eye a bit. I think instead the stories should have been real since that would have been a lot of fun but either way it’s interesting. Since the stories are so short there will be spoilers as I describe them so definitely read this before checking the review out.

Each story is 6 pages so they all go by very quickly but it does mean that the book gets to store a lot of content. You’ll be able to breeze through the book in no time that’s for sure. The first story is about a boy who meets a huntress and this is a fairly novel concept back in the day. The rest of the village believed they were just lucky which is why Grimm don’t appear but the kid knows better now. He visits her once a year and they become friends but ultimately after a few years she stops appearing. Either she was defeated by the Grimm or eventually just got too old to keep on fighting. In the end that is probably the fate of just about every fighter because the Grimm are limitless while eventually every human gets old. This was a pretty good story to kick things off and ultimately while the ending can be tragic, it worked really well in this fairy tale setting.

The next story was about a man who challenged the Sun to a staring contest. If he won then the Sun had to be extra careful about his family’s crops for generations and if the Sun won then the family would have to worship it forever. Ultimately the human proves his determination and wins but it costs him his eyesight forever. It’s certainly a cautionary tale on one side that you have to be careful when challenging someone because you might lose a lot but also a story about how you should keep on going once you have started. If he quit midway then he would have really been in trouble since he would have lost a lot with nothing gained. This story was definitely a lot sadder than the first even though the hero won here. I feel like I’ve read a story sort of similar to this one but it works well.

In the 3rd story we have a god showing up to try and bring everyone to his utopia. He grabbed a bunch of humans and told them to follow him onto his island. Some did and gained animal traits but others were too scared and stayed away. Ultimately this would begin the big terror among the humans and faunus which would become a never ending civil war. Ozpin basically confirms that the story is fake but wanted to include it as another cautionary tale of not letting your fear get the best of you. I think what weakens this one a bit is Ozpin confirming that it’s fake and us knowing that it is because of the true origin of the Faunus but it’s still a decent what if.

Then we get a bit more of an action packed story as a hunter dies and his kids all think about what they want to do with their lives. One of them ends up becoming a hunter as well, one an adventurer, a protector, researcher, etc. Ultimately they learn that divided they will accomplish none of their goals and that they must work together if they really want to succeed. It’s a solid message here and in the end unity is the strongest weapon against the grimm. I think the kid who was planning to be a hunter as well had the right idea though. From all of the kids that one made the most sense and I guess in the end he just wasn’t strong enough to see it through. The teamwork moral is always a classic one.

Next up we have a story about a King who was the wisest in the land. Unfortunately after that he was given a crown which showed him some kind of future and he lost all of his confidence. It’s a shame since he was doing so well and I do think he looks pretty bad considering how overwhelmed he was. If he had just held on to a bit of his confidence then he would have ended up being all right but in the end that just wasn’t in the cards. The ending is at least happy thanks to a widow showing up and helping him overcome these fears. That tied the beginning and ending in well as she appeared right from the start and got good advice from him so this time it was her turn. The king looked pretty bad but it’s a solid enough story.

After that was easily the scariest story as a girl is performing a challenge with her brother one day to go into the woods. He’s scared since the Grimm are generally around but she forces him to go. Unfortunately he gets gravely ill and it turns out that he was possessed by the Grimm and ends up murdering everyone in the town. The girl tries to escape but eventually realizes that she is dead as well. It’s a chilling tale all the way through and Ozpin confirms that this could not happen but that the chill grimms are still very dangerous. The moral is obviously not to perform silly dangerous dares like this. In a world filled with powerful monsters everywhere it’s just not a very smart idea to wander off by yourself. That is how you get absolutely devastated.

Following that up is another story where a god decides to meddle with the animals and human affairs. He shows up and asks if they will listen to him. Each side figures he is about to destroy the other and quickly agrees but instead he merges traits from each side which effectively creates the faunus. Neither side is happy as animals and humans both turn on the faunus and now they are on their own. The moral basically is that they should have tried getting along at the start or having some unity afterwards but they let their differences get in the way. As always if the characters had just been reasonable then this could have been avoided.

After that is the worst story in the collection. It’s about a guy with immortality and it’s heavily implied that this is Ozpin. Basically he ends up taking in an apprentice and before long has a whole following. As he dies the girl convinces him to return to them which is something he never does but he ends up paying a visit to the organization (The Circle) and everyone is ecstatic because now they have proof of someone who can return from the dead. Unfortunately that means a lot of people start attacking them to challenge him so he decides to lose on purpose and dies. What he didn’t realize was that by doing this the organization was defenseless and they were all murdered. The moral is not to put all your trust in one person but really it should be that the main character wasn’t smart at all. You should never allow yourself to be destroyed on purpose. Of course the villains weren’t going to keep their word about sparing everybody. Cmon now!

The Two Brothers is a fun story since the show actually adapted this one, granted with some differences. The show version is the true canon one of course but basically it goes through similar motions as the god of darkness creates the grimm while the light one creates animals. Eventually they team up to create humans but there is still a lot of friction as they sabotage each other for no good reason. As a result they decide to hold a truce by going into a deep slumber and if the humans are finally united in the end then they will say that this was a success. If there are differences then the humans will be murdered so the stakes are high. Knowing that these two corrupt beings are still out there should absolutely scare everybody. I still say the heroes might need a plan for that since the gods are almost certainly going to be evil when they appear.

Then we have the story of seasons which is another story we already know from the show. Basically an old wizard is lonely and gets visited by 4 ladies who each represent a season. They help instill new life into him and as thanks he gives them each a quarter of his magic. He may be powerless but is more alive than he ever was before since they have shown him how to enjoy the day and just have fun doing normal activities. It’s a very cheery story and a nice change of pace from the more serious ones. At the end of the day it’s a classic moral of always doing nice things to people because there is no downside and sometimes it can be really helpful.

Next up is effectively Rapunzel but with a bit of a twist. A girl is locked up in a tower by her father, one of the most powerful warriors in the world. She wants out and so she throws letters out the window begging people to save her. Many heroes arrive but they are all defeated by her father until one rescues her. It’s a classic saving the princess story but the tale makes sure to note clearly that a ton of people still died during the rescues so it wasn’t quite as happy as it may sound at face value. You do feel bad for those guys but at the same time they died following their own sense of justice so it was definitely a pretty good way to go out. I don’t think they would have any regrets.

Finally we come to the end with a story about the Moon but it’s probably the most boring story. It’s not bad but there isn’t much to it. The Sun has a hard time trying to make everyone happy and it crashes from over effort. The humans build a second one which becomes the new Sun and then they turn the old one into the Moon. It’s certainly interesting how humans are advanced enough to do this so it’s also probably the fakest story of them all. It’s also a shame for the Sun since he lost in both stories that he appeared in. I guess in the end he just can’t quite keep up with those pesky humans.

Overall, There are quite a few stories in here and they do make for a fun read. As with all anthologies there will be some fun stories and some weaker ones. Ultimately the balance works well enough to make this a good book but I will always prefer a central narrative to the anthology style. It’s higher reward all the way around. Still, I’m always glad to see more RWBY books and hopefully they keep coming. There is a whole lot of additional content that we could stand to learn about the world of Remnant.

Overall 6/10

The Witches Review

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While I was not a big fan of the movie, I do think the poster is really sharp for this title. The colors are on point and it’s all vibrant so this really stands out. Definitely the kind of poster that would get you really hyped to see what was going on here and that this was not a title to be taken lightly. I think having an older main character could have really helped here or if you consider the grandma to be the lead then she should have been younger. Then we could have gotten more banter or some fun fights.

The movie starts out with Helga explaining to her grandson that witches are very real and they mean business. She once barely survived an encounter with them as they dealt injuries which will never heal. She scares him about all kinds of witch fun facts but his mom tells her to cut it out. The parents leave and are promptly destroyed so now Luke lives with Helga. Unfortunately Helga got diabetes though so the two head to a hotel which just so happens to be hosting the grand witches event. Every big witch is going to be there and if they recognize Helga then it’s all over. Even if they don’t though, they target any kid that they come into contact with and that would include Luke. Can Luke escape their fury or is he doomed?

I do like that the movie really set up its own lore about the witches and created the rules really quickly during the exposition at the beginning. Witches primarily go after kids and want to destroy them all. Kids literally smell bad to them which may be part of why they want to annihilate them. Beyond that Witches have all the usual spells you might expect but for some reason they don’t have a whole lot of confidence in their own abilities. Even the leader Eva quickly backs away when Helga, a senior citizen is around like when she tried offering Luke some candy at the beginning. I don’t think that one really made any sense because she should be able to easily crush any kid standing in her way. So what was going on here? What was the film cooking?

That’s why we needed different main characters so we could have some fights here. As it stands, Luke can’t do anything but run so he spends a lot of time running. The problem even with this scene is that he somehow outruns a bunch of adults while he jis just a little kid and not moving particularly fast. I thought that was a real stretch the whole time. Luke’s also a bit obnoxious as the main character like bringing his mice around to the hotel.

Mr. Stringer is treated like an antagonist but he is absolutely right that bringing rats to a hotel which specifically does not allow animals is not a good thing. Moreover, Luke actually takes them out of the room under the guise of teaching them new tricks and is completely unrepentant about this. He really gets into as much trouble as he possibly can and it’s hard to follow a main character like that. His immaturity makes him annoying rather than endearing and you know that he has absolutely no shot in a fight against any of the witches.

Most of the film follows him around so of course that limits just how exciting the whole thing can be. Then we have Bruno who Luke meets early on and they become friends. At least he’s more fun because he fully embraces the fact that he’s completely in the way and it makes for a decent dynamic. This guy eats parts of the food in the hotel and drags the reputation further into the mud. He’s every hotel owner’s absolute worst nightmare. He fumbles quite badly in the second half of the film though when Helga brings him to the parents so he can explain that he is a mouse now but the kid is quiet because he was busy eating. The kids can actually talk with their normal voices while being mice so it should be easy to prove their identity but of course he messes up their one chance.

Then you have Helga who means well but is just way too old to do much of anything. She doesn’t really have any fire or passion to her and so we don’t get any cool banter with the witches. Mainly Helga just avoids them until the witches are too small to defend themselves and she can land a winning blow. Of course that is probably how you have to play the matchup if you’re in her shoes but it doesn’t make me enjoy her character any more. She defends Luke even when he’s making the wrong choices and is a loyal grandmother but at the end of the day she is definitely not one of the standout characters here.

Although there were none so it’s a bit of a trick question. I did like Mr. Stringer at least, he was doing his best to run a good hotel and the odds were just against him this time which was unfortunate. He will have his chance one day though. Once the kids and witches are gone he will be able to rebuild. It is impressive just how many witches there were though, clearly this group is good at working under the radar. Considering that they have to wear human suits constantly it’s not an easy task.

Their true designs are definitely really grotesque though. I would have much preferred if they could have looked fierce or intimidating instead. I think good witch designs can absolutely work well and make for a really powerful scene in the audience when they transformed. Instead with this design they seem rather frail like they can be defeated at any moment. They also have a lot of infighting which ends up hurting them a bit as well. Ultimately they probably would have taken out a lot of humans in the short term but down the road they’d likely be stopped and once one of them slips up, it won’t be long before the humans catch the rest of them.

Overall, I think the issue with this film is that it has an interesting plot but one that can’t really be capitalized on with the main characters as they are. You just need better leads and that would instantly enhance the film. On the other hand there isn’t really enough humor to help the film get by as a non action title either. It ends up not being the most interesting watch as it all just feels a bit mismatched. Like the main characters would be more commonly found in some kind of slice of life film instead of dealing with a witch invasion. We do get a wholesome ending at least so there’s that but remake this as more of a full action movie or a mystery thriller and I think you would really have something here. Also you can cut out the whole turning into mice thing and give them a different plan. Lets not include the animals if we can help it since that can always be really dicey. They were mostly all humans here so at times it doesn’t feel as bad and injuries are mostly off screen but the last one was still a bit intense and having them die as humans would work better than dying as mice.

Overall 4/10

Jaws of Satan Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Jaws of Satan is certainly a very dramatic title. Right off the bat you can tell that this will not be your average snake attacking the world. That being said, it sort of plays out like one anyway so it’s not like there is a whole lot of difference here. It’s very similar to a frog film I saw a while back where you had this mysterious frog giving everyone orders. Here it’s a King Cobra instead but of course it may have a real identity which you can figure out based on the title.

The film starts off with two guys travelling via train with a shipment of a lot of animals in the cargo area. Unfortunately what they haven’t realized is that Satan has hitched a ride with them. He’s currently in the body of a snake and intends to destroy everyone that he can! Using advanced telekinesis he blasts one guy out of the train and takes the other one down. He’s not getting close to his actual target, Father Farrow. Farrow is warned by a psychic that he is being targeted but he doesn’t believe this until she is bumped off shortly afterwards. Maggie from the hospital calls in Paul, a snake specialist to deal with this epidemic of evil snakes but deep down Farrow knows that he is going to have to step in. Can they win this battle?

Now we are meant to believe that this is Satan himself from all the dialogue and such but it still seems like a bit of an odd move to have him show up as a snake to slowly order other animals to finish the humans off instead of doing it himself. All horror villains have some kind of rules by which they abide of course but we need something so we can understand what they are. Instead in this way I don’t really know why he’s doing things the way that he is. I also think some dialogue would have been nice.

So in a way it didn’t matter whether this was Satan himself or a generic King Cobra because aside from the telekinesis it wouldn’t really change much of anything. I guess it does give the title a bit more of a bite though and while I wouldn’t say this was a very good film it does handle the atmosphere well. The whole town starts to feel a little more spooky as everyone is taken down by the snakes so I would have to say that this part was very effective.

Now where the film trips up is first that the characters aren’t very solid. So you have Evelyn as the town psychic who is decent enough but needlessly cryptic. Look we’re not dealing with the FBI here so why couldn’t she have just told Farrow what she knew over the phone instead of having to drive over there? Of course she never ends up making it and as a result it takes him longer to piece together the puzzle. Then you have Maggie who is good at her job. She has to deal with a lot of traitors like the coroner who hides one of the bodies but ultimately she gets around that. I liked the scene of her commandeering the ambulance itself because after a while you definitely do have to go with some drastic measures here.

She has to get the body to convince Paul after all. Paul is also good at looking at a snake bite and determining things but he does get off on the wrong foot with Maggie and it’s completely his fault. He comes across as rather judgmental and quite a bit rude so it was funny when Maggie talked about how nice he was. That’s not really the first thing that comes to mind when you think about this guy…but hey I guess I am probably underestimating him a little bit here. I don’t think the dialogue in this film was always very well thought out.

The heroes have basically no teamwork here as they all get sent into the cave one by one. Again, if this is Satan here you’d think he would have some more powers than having to trick everyone into a cave one at a time but I guess that’s just how it goes. It’s hard to be all that afraid of the snakes though as even with the music and all you feel like the humans should beat them most of the time. Snakes can move really fast through lunges but that’s about it so if you are standing away from one then you should definitely be able to outrun it right? I mean it shouldn’t be as crazy or scary as the film would have you believe.

There’s one long scene where the snake gets on the bed and has a stare down with the heroine. I think at that point you just have to jump up and run. Your odds shouldn’t be terrible and I’d argue that they’re better than waiting for Paul to show up with his net. Just make a break for it and you should be good! Feels like the film basically squeezed in the whole scene just as an excuse for some fanservice early on though which you tend to see in the B grade horror films so that tracks even if it is unfortunate. I guess it’s also a way for them to get closer but after the first impression you’d like to think that this wouldn’t be in the cards either way.

The film can have some disturbing images like with the bites and some of the usual violence but for the most part I would not say that it is as excessive as other similar films. It seemed to show just a little bit more restraint which is always nice. I also liked how some of the snakes could actually be defeated at least like the farmer who captured it and showed the body to Paul. I mean at the end of the day they are just snakes aside from the leader. That said, having snakes as a villain also inevitably means there will be some animal violence and unfortunately that does happen here. One snake gets shot to bits in what was a pretty intense scene and it’s why we need mecha snakes. Animal films are always going to be doomed because at the end of the day one of them is going to get hurt.

Overall, This film wasn’t going to be going very far either way. The cast isn’t quite good enough to hold their own film and the main villain may as well be a normal snake. We could get some good banter now and again during the film but for the most part we would just watch the snake slowly order the others to take people down and it felt like long periods of time would go by without much happening. The climax at least has a fun fire visual but you’re just not going to be taking much out of this film. It beats the average horror type film and at least has some semblance of replay value but there’s not enough here for me to recommend you give it a watch.

Overall 4/10

Chances Are Review

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Oh nooooooo! Sometimes you know before a film even starts that the premise is already going to be a swing and a miss. Well this one doesn’t disappoint and it’s one of those things where the premise is so bouncey that you’re not sure if it really could have been saved. There are definitely a lot of ideas you’ll have immediately to make it a bit better but ultimately this story just needed to not happen. Pick just about any other circumstance instead and you’ve got a shot.

Well, the movie starts with Louie about to get married to Corinne when his best friend Philip confides that he is currently in love with Corinne. Instead of knocking the stuffing out of Philip or running him over with the car, Louie confirms that he already knew this with a cocky smirk. Louie is promptly murdered after getting run over a car shortly afterwards but in the afterworld he has decided that he won’t pass on quite yet. He doesn’t get his memory erasure shot and runs back to Earth where he is reincarnated. 23 years pass and he happens to meet Corinne again and gets his memories back. She’s never rebounded so he figures he has a shot but now there is around a 26 year gap between them and he will have to defeat Philip for her affections. Additionally his daughter Miranda likes him since prior to restoring his memories he had started making passes at her. What can he do?

You can already see how messed up the plot is in a lot of ways. First off though, the way they handle Philip makes no sense. If Louie knows that the guy is in love with his wife then it’s time to kick him out completely. Sorry man but once everything is out in the open like that then it’s time to go. It’s never wise to ever even breathe a word about your feelings to anyone if you’ve fallen for someone who’s already taken. What you need to do is cry yourself to sleep and get over her right away. If you can’t then it’s time to move away or put some distance. Thing is, it should be easy to get over someone once they’re off the market.

It’s romance 101. Why do you think the first thing most people ask if if the girl/boy has a boyfriend/girlfriend? It’s because one you know that this is the case, you can move on immediately. It works basically every time. It’s like putting on a filter over your eyes like a pair of glasses. You may still acknowledge their beauty but you don’t see that girl as a potential lover anymore. It’s just such a basic thing and Philip still messed it up. Now the filter does fade away once she breaks up with the guy or he dies but it should work in the short term as a psychological block. Philip telling Louie this straight up is unforgivable especially since they’re supposed to be friends. It was a really selfish thing to do and it’s why you can’t root for him for the rest of the film.

After Louie dies you have to remember that the bro code is still in effect in perpetuity. It never runs out and that means you can’t go after your best friend’s girl. It’s just not something that would ever fly morally so Philip needs to buck up and keep it moving. It was good of him to look after her daughter Miranda and help out for 20 years. Sure that’s a good thing but unfortunately he did it with the intentions of getting together with her. He had nebulous intentions from the jump so I take away all of the credit immediately. This guy just needed to go away.

Now another issue with the film beyond the premise is that the romance is awful. Basically this film is going with the Chad approach that you can win anyone over with a kiss. For example Corinne says she wants nothing to do with Louie when he comes back as a 23 year old and keeps telling him to go away. So basically he just forces her to kiss him and the worst part is you see the exact moment where her mind just snaps and suddenly she wants to be with him. It was the power of the kiss and you roll your eyes when this happens. Then it happens again! Philip makes his move and of course she does the whole “We can’t be together” so he forces her into a kiss and the exact same thing happens. Suddenly she doesn’t want to be with Louie anymore and will stay with Philip.

It’s such a drastic change each and every time. You can’t possibly tell me that a romance built off of a stolen kiss can ever be successful. It will also just make you jaded. I’m convinced that half the reason why a lot of people don’t think guys and girls can ever be friends are films like this. I can picture people watching this film and jumping up and down, fist bumping, and high fiving when Philip goes after Corinne. “Called it!!!” and things like that will be yelled because he couldn’t have possibly been helping her out all these years out of the goodness of his heart.

Man the romance here is abysmal guaranteed. Then there is the whole plot with Miranda that’s pretty awful. Yeah Louie does stay away from her after he has his memories and of course, he better! It’s still just such a weird plot to throw in here and even by the end when the angel shows up with the memory drug it doesn’t make this much better. Corinne still remembers what happened after all as well as Philip and that’s going to make for a very weird family dynamic here. Also as a sidenote, Corinne just looks way too gullible here. If someone showed up saying that they were a reincarnation of anybody I would just laugh it away and keep moving. I’m not buying that story no matter what kinds of secrets they start spouting.

Why? Because I’d sooner believe in mind reading technology than reincarnation so I’d assume it was that. Any possible action this person can do I would have a better explanation for it than the person coming back to life but Corinne bought into this quickly. Well, the kiss is what pushed her over the edge which is actually much worse. I think somewhere deep within the film there is a good comedy film but it is trapped beneath the surface of the plot so it is absolutely doomed.

For example, we could have continued with the whole corrupt judge plot. There was a lot that you could have done with that but in the end it’s barely here at all. It never really ends up being very relevant at all to the point where you may even forget that there is a plot about a corrupt judge here. It has no bearing to anything. At best you can say that the car which ran Louie over was sent by the Judge but that’s never even implied. So yeah this plot was basically completely filler.

Worst part? The film ends with a massive plot hole. Basically the reason Louie got into all this trouble was because he left back to Earth before getting his memory shot and the afterworld has no defenses here. So in the final scenes the angel shows up and gives him the shot so he loses his memory. Problem is…if he could have done that then he should have done it 23 years ago while Louie was a baby. There was no reason to wait this long except for the plot to happen which means that this was bad writing. If your entire story relies on a plot hole then it’s not really a complete story at all. They should have just had Louie hit his head and forget his memories which is what I was expecting for a while there. It would have made wayyyyyy more sense and not introduced this issue at the very end. Or at least throw in a line that it takes 23 years to make a new serum. This could have been fixed so easily not that it would help the score much though.

Overall, This film was going for a weird/uncomfortable vibe with its style of comedy and it definitely succeeded. This is a plot that never needed to happen. Pretty much all of the scenes here get tainted as a result but even outside of the family dynamics the scenes outside of them are very underwhelming as well. You have an old lady falling for Louie so that he can get 2 million dollars for Corinne and it is just the most random thing possible. I know that this guy is supposed to be one of the most charming people in existence but it’s a bit much. I’d also say that the film forgets to be funny half the time as it’s more about everyone getting their feelings hurt and trampled on until the end. By the end nobody is a winner here. Philip was Corinne’s second choice. Louie had his whole identity obliterated in the end. Miranda is with someone who was just messing around with her mother and Corinne is with her second choice since Louie isn’t around anymore. Nobody within the film wins so the viewer loses out as well.

Overall 1/10