Kiss of the Vampire Review

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Oh no, it’s a vampire film! Uh ohhhhhhhhh. Well this one mostly plays things straight with the main guy not being very smart and the main heroine being super susceptible to mind control. None of them play things very smart here and the local vampire expert has better things to do than try to keep the heroes safe. Fortunately the villains aren’t very brave either aside from the main vampire but there’s not much to salvage here. It’s just a B grade vampire movie and most are at that level by default so that’s saying something.

So the movie starts with Gerald and Marianne hitting a speed bump on their travel destination. They have just been married recently and were looking forward to a lot of fun but now that’s not going to happen. Gerald tells Marianne to stay in the carriage in this unknown place that they have never been before while he goes around and searches for help. Fortunately nothing happens her and they find a nearby inn of sorts. It’s kind of empty and the owner Bruno and his wife are a bit odd. Bruno seems happy enough but the place is empty and nobody wants to talk about it.

Ah well, they just need to be here for a day right? Well, apparently the damage to the carriage is extensive and it will take several days to fix but fortunately the rich Dr. Ravna has invited them over to his house. A cranky old guy named Zimmer warns them not to go but when asked why he basically shrugs and storms off. At Ravna’s house his son Carl overtly flirts with Marianne the whole time but Gerald barely reacts except for some half hearted remarks. Does he realize that they have just stepped foot into the vampire’s den?

I have a lot of problems with the film but it all starts with the main character. Now it’s good not to be too possessive. That’s a definite and jumping into action because Marianne is talking with Carl isn’t a big issue at first. Once Carl starts inviting Marianne to parties and such without including Gerald is where you have to draw the line. Instead he immediately lets a lady named Sabena get him drunk and while he says all the right things as she leads him up to her room you feel like it’s just bluster and he was already under her heel from the start. Not a good look for this guy….not a good look at all.

So yeah he’s a pretty bad main character and he spends the whole film getting absolutely devastated in every scene. Even when Marianne vanishes this guy can’t react properly because he’s so drunk and is slipping all over the place. Yeah the drink was spiked but that’s why you shouldn’t be drinking alcohol like that anyway. Especially when the situation seemed suspicious from the jump. Gerald still tries to help when he can but it’s often futile.

As for Marianne, my complaints are mainly the same as they are for Gerald. She lets herself be pushed around way too easily the whole time. She should have told Carl to back off after a while. Additionally the way she is tricked near the end is embarrassing. You’re telling me that she can mix up her husband just by having someone wear a mask? That doesn’t speak very well to their bond. It’s not like they look that alike and the whole being super silent thing should have raised some warning bells as well. The film doesn’t go over very well for her.

As for Ravna, well he’s less depraved than some of the other vampire villains that I’ve seen but there’s not much to him. He’s content to rub his victories in the face of the main character but what even are his goals beyond random destruction? He has a huge cult following him so why not just break into the inn and slaughter everyone at night? He goes through a lot of stealth and theatrics but when you have an army that all seems rather moot. Granted, his army was rather awful to be honest as they panicked about everything the whole time but the numbers advantage should still be enough. Instead he did not put himself in a position to win and squandered his super powers.

Carl and Sabena are basically just here to mess with the leads and none are particularly likable. If the main characters could stand up for themselves more then they’d be fine. Then there’s no way to like Bruno as the guy is so afraid of the vampires that he basically runs the inn as a way to get more sacrifices for them. Ever think about just driving away during the daytime when they can’t move? It’s really not that complicated here and taking a chance is better than being an executioner like this. In a way it makes him just as bad as the others.

Finally you have Zimmer and it’s great that he knows a whole lot but the guy couldn’t be more vague if he tried. Yeah he tells the heroes not to go but refuses to give any more info than that. He only finally helps a bit during the end of the film and it turns out that he knows magical ritual spells which is super handy. So it’s great to have him around as a result but really is that the best he can do? He waited until just about everyone was taken down so that was really late. There’s also a moment when the vampires visit the main duo in the daytime so Zimmer comes in to stir up trouble but why not just lock the front door or something? They only barely escaped with a few seconds left and that’s because Zimmer showed up and reminded them about the light. The whole scene was very questionable.

As always you have all the blood sucking and everything here too. Everyone is getting drained and the humans can’t do much to stop them. The film can be a little violent with the deaths as Hammer films like you to really see the stabs. The first scene while a bit funny with how everything played out definitely started the film out on a violent note with Zimmer taking one of the vampires down. The movie is quick paced and doesn’t waste a lot of time but the main characters being so unlikable in addition to the vampires not being very interesting made for a losing formula. I’d say to avoid this title.

Overall 3/10

One Piece: 3D2Y Review

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It’s always hype to be getting some more One Piece adventures into the mix. This one’s got a really solid budget with the animation and it’s nice to see Luffy have to try and take on a fairly powerful opponent when he’s just getting used to haki. That said, the film starts off better than it ends as two fights end up being wasted. It would seem that Boa is doomed to never really get to show how powerful she is in a serious fight at this rate. Still, it is a solid action title all around.

The movie starts off with retelling the events of Marineford. It’s definitely hype to see that as it’s still one of the absolute peaks of the series. It was really the moment that defined the series and all of those high budget scenes were great. Still, Luffy wasn’t yet strong enough to win the day and so we cut to the present in between parts 1 and 2 of One Piece. Luffy is training on how to become a lot stronger when a villain named Byrnndi World shows up and kidnaps some of his allies while also crushing Luffy in a few good shots. Luffy will have to team up with one of the 7 Warlords, Boa Hancock in order to take him down. Will their combined abilities really be a match for someone that even the World Government fears?

Now the movie does give World a whole lot of hype but if we’re being honest here he should be no match for the admirals. There is no real reason to call in all of the war lords or treat this as such a big event. You could get around that a little later in the series like around Whole Cake Island since Luffy was at the top levels by then. Luffy’s still too weak at this point in time though so if Luffy can take this guy down then the world shouldn’t be afraid of him. His devil fruit is cool but that’s just not enough.

I did like World as a villain though. There’s not a whole lot to him beyond being a bruiser but he has a good design and his ability to make things really big made for an imposing power to go up against. He would be able to give many opponents a really hard time in combat. This guy’s just built different after all. World isn’t the smartest villain around but he can fight and that’s the important thing. His battles with Luffy in this film are animated very well and the guy can hold his own in a fight. Even Luffy’s greatest attacks were really not matching up well against this guy at all and Luffy’s no slouch in the power level department. Sure, he isn’t at the top like I mentioned but he is still very high tier without a doubt.

Luffy takes a lot of beatings in this film but his character portrayal was still on point the whole time. He never ran away from a fight and kept on trying to save everyone. He’s the kind of determined main character you expect to see here. Much better than Raleigh who basically decides not to help for no reason at all. I’d almost have more respect for him if he just admitted he was scared of fighting a pirate as notorious as Byrnndi. He also needs to work on his haki since somehow he never sensed the villain appearing on the island. The film was a bad look for him all the way around that’s for sure.

Boa gets a big role here since it’s her soldiers who are kidnapped by Byrnndi. A lot of people always figured she is super powerful to be one of the Warlords even beyond her stone abilities and I’d say that’s likely true as she got a good hit in during Stampede as well but that’s why it’s a shame when she doesn’t get to fight much. She does not look very impressive here at all. Unfortunately her fight quickly devolves into fanservice and stops being taken seriously as a fight almost immediately.

The second half of the fight is more focused on being a full on comedy than you’d expect. Boa’s fight is very lackluster and the same is true for Buggy. Of course that guy is always the comic relief character so it’s less surprising that he wouldn’t get a true fight. Even in the New World he doesn’t seem very powerful even though he overpowered Law once. Luffy’s fight was great but it sort of has to carry the second half while the first parts were a lot more engaging and set the tone really well.

One Piece usually isn’t as fanservice heavy as you’d expect so this was on the higher side for the series. It’s nothing too crazy but I still want Boa to get a true fight before the series ends and that is looking less and less likely to occur. Now while I liked World as the main villain, I wouldn’t say the same for his two sidekicks. For starters they are super forgettable. I didn’t remember their names by the time everything had ended. They had some cool abilities and techniques which had some real thought into them but the characters themselves really weren’t anything special. World didn’t think so either with how easily it was for him to believe the worst about these guys.

At the end of the day 3D2Y is a fairly basic One Piece adventure but one that hits on enough of the good points of the series. Luffy’s new outfit is a lot of fun and having an ally be kidnapped is always a good way to instantly get the stakes high and have you excited for what’s going to happen next. Especially when it takes place deep into a series like this so it’s always shocking to see Luffy taken down so easily. It’s a shame that Zoro and friends couldn’t be here due to when it takes place but that’s just how it goes sometimes. At least we had the intro movie to tide us over.

Overall, One Piece 3D2Y isn’t going to be beating any of the big films but it’s still a title that I would recommend to any One Piece fan. It’s new content with a high budget after all. How can you say no to that? The action starts up right away and there is always something going on. Even if it had some faults, I enjoyed my viewing experience to the ened and due to the fights it will have some replay value as well.

Overall 7/10

Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope Review

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It’s time to talk about Super Mario. He has had many adventures over the years but if you think about it the games have seemed to be drying up a bit lately. You just don’t see them coming out with the same amount of titles that they used to. It’s a real shame to be honest but it means that you have to really appreciate the ones that you do get. I finally got this game and it’s definitely a great title. I would say it easily beats the first one. I would still rather the rabbids be cut out entirely so it’s just the Mario characters though.

The story starts with Mario and friends needing to fight once more when a villain known as Cursa appears. This foe is so powerful, so evil that it threatens to destroy the entire universe. Mario and friends will have to team up with their Rabbid counterparts to fight this threat off but will those rabbids only serve to speed up the heroes’ defeat? That may have been the case but this time there is another member of the group named Edge. This isn’t a rabbid version of anybody and yet she is extremely powerful so her whole persona is a mystery. She clearly is keeping some secrets but perhaps Mario and friends are too so they all need to keep each other at arm’s length.

Like the first game this is a tactical title which is always fun since there aren’t a ton of those. You get to really enjoy playing as all of the characters too since they all have different abilities and strengths. Ultimately my main lineup was Mario, Rabbid Peach, and Edge. For the first half of the game I used normal Peach but eventually the healing skills were just more efficient for me than the barriers. You can use the terrain to your advantage and if you really master each ability then you will be coasting through this one in no time. If not, then the game can actually be rather difficult. It’s not for the faint of hart and there is no true way to grind out levels here because you don’t get exp for beating normal minions. I’d have preferred if you could just level up like crazy but I understand if the game just wanted to make this one a little more difficult. It’s certainly the right way to approach that goal since it forces you to really use your head.

The game has element typing too so you want to pick the right one to use at an enemy or you will suffer its wrath. The gameplay was definitely developed really well. You can feel the attention to detail there. This can even compete with Disgaea in just how many mechanics you have to think about and how streamlined they all are. You will definitely be having fun playing the game at all times as a result. There’s a whole lot to enjoy here and the game is a pretty decent length. I’d say it’ll take you around 13-15 hours to complete the story. After that you also have replay value to go and beat the rest of the sub quests. I’m not sure exactly what this gets you so that’ll determine if it’s really worth it or not but at least beating the story will still take some time.

Edge was a great addition to the cast because she’s a lot more serious than the other Rabbids. They all talk in this game but the others’ dialogue is usually quite dreadful so you want to ignore it the whole time. Edge at least has real things to say and is important to the plot. Put her in an even more serious setting and she would absolutely thrive while the other characters would really falter. Edge is built different and of course her gameplay is also fantastic. I recommend getting her the 4 dashes immediately. If you pair that with the increased movement and each dash getting stronger then it is a very lethal attack combination. It helped me a whole lot in the final levels.

Then Cursa makes for a pretty solid villain as well. Great design and good powers all around. I would have liked some real dialogue from Cursa though, that would have helped make the villain a lot more high tier. Still a strong villain though and an improvement over all of the forgettable villains from the first game. This one had on screen presence which is important. Also some good backstory and in general the game’s story was way better than the first one. The first did have a story too but far less dialogue and lower stakes so this one improved in every way.

In general that was a solid point for this game which is that it did improve upon the first one in virtually every area. That is a lot harder to do than you would expect after all. It’s always tempting to add some kind of annoying gimmick or something but Nintendo restrained themselves. All of the mechanics actually make sense within the framework of the game which is super important. Additionally, the graphics are excellent here. This looks like a AAA Nintendo game and I suppose it should since that really is the game in a nutshell. This is meant to tide us over for the next big Mario game after all.

In closing I would just say to focus your upgrades on each character’s special moves. They all share general upgrades as well like longer glide distance and more health but each time it just seems to be more worth your while to go for the character specific abilities. 4 dashes for Edge worked wonders and I got Mario’s reaction ability to strike twice every turn. These are the kinds of abilities that will pay dividends almost immediately. You absolutely want to have these abilities on hand. Then if you have a healer you can methodically take the enemies down and keep it moving. In most cases you want to go fast since new enemies will keep on spawning.

Overall, This was a great game. It had solid gameplay, the graphics were great, soundtrack was on point, etc. The game was very solid all around which is critical to being a great game and since the price won’t be getting much lower I would suggest buying the game now. You may as well after all and dive into the hype now. We’ll see if they make a third one at some point although I think they should keep the gameplay style but have them crossover with something else instead. Imagine Mario teaming up with Sonic or Mega Man instead? Now that would be a blast and a half for sure.

Overall 8/10

The Final Countdown Review

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The Final Countdown is a film that’s pretty good but at the same time you feel like it sort of cheats on the premise. Almost 90% of the film is setting up for the actual plot to happen and then it suddenly ends. I’d like a remake that actually goes all in here and lets the heroes play around with the time travel a bit. This is one of those rare instances where I’m convinced a second watch will always be worse than the first viewing but on the initial viewing you should still have a good time here.

The movie starts by introducing us to Captain Yelland and his ship as they are just leaving Pearl Harbor. A guy named Lasky has been invited aboard to basically see how things are done abord the ship and see if any protocols are to be updated. He’s an efficiency expert you can say but all of a sudden the ship goes through a portal and warps back to a few days before the events of Pearl Harbor. They must now decide if they should try to change history and stop the tragedy from occurring or let it play out so as to not affect the timestream.

While that may be the main plot, the characters aren’t debating if they should act or not for most of the movie because they don’t realize what is happening until the end. So for the most part the characters are just trying to figure out what is going on but since its obvious to the viewer the whole time this doesn’t have as much bite. It’s an interesting film but one that just feels a bit misleading in what the focus will be on. This probably would have worked better as a series or with some sequels so we could actually get back to the plot. Instead the film ends on a bit of a whimper. There is one cool aspect to the ending but I really wanted to explore the changes to the timeline and how that would have affected everyone.

I liked Captain Yelland though and he had the right response. Ultimately he says that they can’t worry about what’ll happen down the line and have to save everyone they can in the present. He was prepared to do what was needed and it’s not like the allies would lose a lot on this. They are from far enough in the future where it would be supremely easy to take the win here and you have to do it. He also kept calm the whole time and never really panicked. This is the kind of man you want to have at the helm of the ship because you can count on him to get results.

Owens is the most annoying character here though. His viewpoint is the classic “We shouldn’t mess with history” not realizing that just by being in the past you’ve already changed things. Deciding not to help your own country avoid one of its largest historic tragedies would be downright criminal. Then he tries to say that it’s not like they could change the past anyway but they evidently already did by saving a senator. The situation isn’t one that can be immediately understood and that’s why instead of giving up right from the jump you should try to do your best. If you get to go to the past, don’t question the logic of how it happened and just do your best to make sure everything turns out all right. That’s the only winning attitude to be had here.

Then you have Lasky who mainly proves to be a thorn in everyone’s side. Owens is reasonably upset with him because Lasky keeps breaking into his office to look at things. Lasky is not someone who is particularly great with boundaries after all. He just does what he wants at any time. On one hand at least he is ready to change the future but on the other hand he just seems to want to stir up trouble instead of helping sometimes like when he nearly tipped off the senator and secretary that they were being tricked. That’s exactly what you don’t do in that situation.

Senator Chapman is an interesting character as he’s technically a good guy and trying to figure out what’s going on but he functions as an antagonist here. After all he’s from the past and doesn’t know anything about the future. The main characters aren’t too forthcoming on that front so they come across as being extremely suspicious. I don’t even blame him for drawing a gun later on because from his point of view they’ve just taken him to a deserted island and there is no guarantee that he would ever get off. It’s just a shame that everything turned sideways so nobody really got to win.

Laurel was also reasonable here. She has a pet dog to worry about which is stressful and the whole situation is overwhelming but she does her best in coming to terms with it. I’d ay she did a better job of that than most characters would in her place. So the side characters were fun and the exchanges with past and future characters is really what you’re here for. That’s why it’s a shame that this isn’t the focus. I want to see them change the past and what repercussions come of that. The fact that they waited so long to help the Americans on the boat was also a shame since fatalities happened before they could step in.

You have to fight injustice no matter what era you are in. So when over 40 minutes is just the characters sitting around and talking it feels like a big build up to something that never really happens. I was really surprised when the film just ended all of a sudden. I can tell you that it was not the ending I had been expecting for the film at all. It’s all a cop out but I’ve said this several times already so lets not get too repetitive here. Even with the ending I still enjoyed the film quite a bit. The dialogue is smart and the premise is still really interesting. I’d absolutely like to see someone else take a crack at this and it’s why I love time travel in general. It opens the door to so many different storylines and possibilities. Particularly a war setting since 30 years can be a difference of night and day in terms of firepower and utility.

Overall, The Final Countdown has a climax that never actually occurs which does hurt the film a bit and completely obliterates its replay value. That said, it is still a very suspenseful watch for 90% of the feature so that’s enough for me to recommend it. The film even does have a quick fight scene but that one was a bit forced since the villain never should have been in a situation to grab the gun. That was just sloppy of the heroes, they should have worked a bit harder/smarter to prevent that from happening. Even the gun scuffle near the end wasn’t a great look. At the end of the day if you underestimate your opponent you will absolutely get burned.

Overall 7/10

Windchill Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is one of those films where I can’t say I was super hyped for it but it still managed to go below my expectations. There are really two ways this film could go. The human villain route where the guy driving the main character is a creep or the supernatural route. I would pretty much always choose the supernatural route but this film shows that sometimes you can still mess that one up too.

Gotta admit that I didn’t even notice that none of the characters had names until I looked it up. It’s a pretty interesting tactic for sure since it lets you just jump right into the story. Would have been cool if I noticed this right away but it just be like that sometimes.

So the main girl is looking for a rideshare to save some money and fortunately there is a guy driving to her destination. This is about as lucky as she can get and so they get into the car but she rebuffs all of his efforts to talk to her. She wants to be an unruly passenger and even insults him while they’re driving so now he feels sad. Eventually they crash when trying to dodge another car and now they’re stranded in the middle of nowhere in sub zero conditions. Definitely not the way you want to go out. Can they survive the night if they stay in the car or should they take their chances and try going back to the gas station?

This film loves its red herrings and making everyone look suspicious. Trust me on that one, we’ve got everything except the villainous smirk that a lot of suspects tend to have. There is just a whole collection of issues here so it’s hard to know where to start. I guess I’ll start with the characters not being very likable at all.

First up there’s the girl who has a bad attitude from the jump. First of all she’s the one who is late to the meetup spot so I don’t see where she gets off being so upset at the guy. She insults his car for no real reason and is just extremely rude. The girl doesn’t really get better until the end and even then it’s a life or death situation by that point so just about anyone would be a little nicer when their life depends on it.

I totally get her being hostile once he took them off on a shady shortcut and crashed the car. From there on out it makes sense to treat him like an enemy 100%. He does nothing to make you feel like you can trust him and only actively makes himself look less and less honorable.

Now for the guy, yeah he’s pretty bad too. For starters, driving off the road to a shady shortcut with no good explanation is naturally going to turn the girl against him. He should have realized that, it’s just patently obvious. The road didn’t look good from the start either. So he was doing this to impress her but there are better ways of doing it.

Then there’s also the fact that he acts a bit like a stalker. He knows pretty much everything about her and followed her around so he would learn about her schedule and be there to be carpool buddies. It shouldn’t have even been hard to keep this a secret but naturally he says things that he shouldn’t know and so she gets tipped off. If this guy is trying to start off with a good impression then he absolutely failed here.

The tension of if the guy is a super crook is definitely intense even if it isn’t quite my favorite scenario here at all. So then we get to the supernatural elements but that’s where the film really falls off of a cliff. So you’ve got an early instance of this where the ghosts lock the girl in the bathroom and turn off the sound so she can’t yell for help. Or more specifically she yells but nobody can hear her.

This doesn’t have much to do with anything so you can write it off as the ghosts messing around. We do see a shady guy at one of the tables who looks a lot like the Patrolman though so maybe he was already making moves. Once the crash happened then they start to really go in.

It takes a while to get going but basically the Patrolman is an evil spirit of a guy who died a while back so now he goes around murdering everyone he can. He has the ability to lower your body temperature to the point of freezing and then you die. It’s difficult or impossible for a living person to stop him since he’s a specter and he can mildly mess with reality/cause hallucinations. I mean his car is clearly very real which is always the annoying thing about fighting guys like this.

They can become intangible when needed and then go physical just in time to land a hit. Unless you have super powers of your own then you’re really doomed. The most annoying thing here aside from the heroes just being doomed against this guy is the backstory is unnecessarily edgy. Basically as a corrupt Patrolman he would force people into his cars and then ultimately murder them.

It’s a pretty tragic circumstance and this guy has been running around unchecked for many, many years. What about all of the victims he murdered? Well they’re all specters as well but are basically powerless to keep on repeating the same actions over and over. They yell and beg to be avenged and all but why don’t they fight back? The guy is able to fight as a specter so what about all of the endless people who died here? They have the numbers advantage with ease so it shouldn’t be a question of power. They should be able to win against a single guy.

It’s just a case of the villain being stronger for no real reason. If you’re going to go supernatural then go all the way with a powerful demon or something but not a normal serial killer who was so angry at the world that he got powers? Eh that’s not a great explanation at all.

There also isn’t a whole lot of scenery over here as it’s just snowy everywhere. It can be a bit spooky with all the ghosts running around too and all but it just wasn’t enough. Nothing happens for a long time and once the flashbacks start to occur then you want to go back to the present already.

Now talking about red herrings, there is a suspicious scene where the guy walks away saying he will check out the gas station but then he returns almost immediately and says that it’s closed. The girl points out that he wasn’t gone long enough to actually check and why would it be closed so early? She almost calls his bluff to check it out but decides not to. My issue is…it was too far for him to check. So did he lie about it? Did the ghosts mess with her flow of time so she was walking around for a really long amount of time? The film doesn’t give you any indication of this so we have to assume that he’s lying and it’s yet another reason not to trust him.

The movie also gets dangerously close to trying to start a bit of a romance here and that’s really not going to work. Aside from the fact that they don’t get along at all, there are much bigger things to think about right now. The ole body heat technique also feels like it’s just around to force some relationship building for them when I don’t see that working very well and you’ll just end up freezing each other.

Overall, Wind Chill is a film that I would definitely recommend avoiding. It’s a fairly classic horror film that isn’t trying to do anything new but doesn’t really commit to the approach as much as it should. The whole time loop with the evil patrolman didn’t do the film any favors either. There are some things you can do with that if the flashback was more interesting or something but this guy was a pretty awful villain so no luck there. He’s also apparently been bumping people off every year since the 60s and nobody’s thought to start an investigation? Definitely give this one a skip.

Overall 1/10