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Mass Review

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All right it’s time for a film that is the definition of being dialogue based. There is a whole lot of talking here and the characters don’t really get to leave the room once they’re inside. It’s an interesting concept but the execution is done in a way that prevents the film from being all that interesting. Each of the characters has to try and navigate their way through the conversation carefully so the pacing gets shot immediately and it all goes downhill from there. Now it’s hard to say if the positions themselves are a spoiler or not but since that is the focus early on, I’m going to lean on not. Throwing the warning out early though because if you do feel that’s a spoiler, then you’ll need to skip the whole review until you watch it.

The movie starts with a room being set up in a church. They are expecting 4 guests and the church lady is extremely stressed the whole time. We get a lot of awkward dialogue the whole time but finally the 4 people arrive. They are two couples and they are here to talk about a recent school shooting. Their conversation is going to get pretty intense because one couple are the parents of one of the kids who got shot, while the other couple are the parents of the school shooter who was then shot by the authorities. Can they come to an understanding?

Well naturally just from the premise you can see how this isn’t exactly a popcorn action flick. It’s all very serious and dreary the whole time. I think the idea of a debate of sorts would be pretty interesting but this isn’t really a debate. The parents of the first boy just really want to hear some regret from the other parents and try to convince them that their son was a monster. Meanwhile the other couple is doing their best to be pleasant but don’t want to back down on their position that he was still their son and otherwise was a good person.

As a result, it’s not like there is much of an end point that they can have here. The second couple has been taking heat from everybody around the world and may have even had similar conversations with other parents. Meanwhile the first couple can talk a lot but it won’t bring their son back so if anything it means that the conversation may just stir up old wounds even more. They all hope that this conversation will help provide some closure but will it do that? In my mind that seems like a pretty impossible task. I could see having conversations with other people but reaching that far across the aisle is probably going to be a bad idea 99% of the time.

Again I do find conversations like this interesting but typically the features I watch online are done in a much more aggressive ways. Think of something along the lines of Piers Morgan where the panelists are always yelling over each other and calling each other names or any Youtube debate with folks like Destiny, Asmongold, Haasan, The Crucible, Peterson, etc. They tend to be one dimension removed from the situation so they can go on TV and start yelling real hard as they press on the positions. You get the slightest fact or detail wrong and they will absolutely pounce on you right away.

In some ways that kind of conversation will tend to yield more results since you can try exposing the other side. Of course in this movie nobody is really in it to expose the other. Perhaps a little at first but again it’s more for closure. It’s just that it takes absolutely forever to get to any of the points. Anytime they start to get into some interesting topics like gun control, psychiatry, etc. they are cut off by one of the other characters to try and make more emotional arguments instead of looking at things logically.

By far I would say the couple who raised the shooter were the best characters here. They both did their best to be sympathetic and proper right from the jump. They said all the right things while also refusing to back down from their positions or relent on any point that would make their son seem like a monster. They kept strong here and just did a solid job. They were also able to look at the situation a whole lot more analytically and didn’t have as many emotional bursts as the first couple. Considering that they went through a whole lot as well, that was impressive. Whether or not they suffered more than the second couple will be debatable but ranking different traumas is ultimately pointless. Everybody suffered in this film which is the point that the film is trying to establish here.

Of course the first couple has a lot of reason to be upset but they were the ones mainly breaking the agreed upon rules like going into interrogation mode and launching into personal attacks. They were consistently more aggressive and having to walk around the room. I give the first couple a lot of credit for agreeing to meet up as well since this easily could have been a trap or some kind of surprise attack. Once they were all alone in that room, any number of bad things could have happened before any kind of backup would arrive. So the first couple also showed a lot of bravery.

The scenes with the church folks from the beginning and ending may have been a little too dragged out but I appreciated the attempt at trying to have a little levity in here. I wouldn’t have minded that as a subplot of them running around and maybe bumping into the room once or twice. It would have been a good chance to have a few cliffhangers too with one side landing a solid zinger as we cut away and then return.

At its core, I suppose the main issue here is that the conversation gets fairly boring pretty fast. You basically know all of the stances that the characters will take before they make them. This is of course because the film is trying to go for a lot of realism. You could picture this being a real conversation between two families with all of the crying and pausing that was implemented in the film. There are probably talks like this that go on every day but in a film you need to do some kind of enhancing to make it interesting. The film could have probably had its runtime cut in half and still preserved all of the core ideas that were brought in.

Overall, Mass may be realistic but it’s not particularly entertaining. I really think they should have had the lawyers from both ides involved. That way you have them being aggressive the whole time while the family begins to see the others’ side of view. The lawyers get kicked out in the climax and then we get the quick wholesome ending. That would definitely work well for making things a little intense. All in all, if this is a topic that you find interesting then you may enjoy the film but otherwise I do think you can find better movies that touch on the themes of forgiveness and moving past trauma like Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

Overall 2/10

The Third Murder Review

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It’s time for a police thriller, this time with a bit of a jaded edge from the defense attorney. He doesn’t really care about justice and just does whatever he can in order to get the best deal for his clients. This way he can just stay detached from everything but will he be able to in this case? It’s an interesting film but one that doesn’t have any real likable characters for the most part. I was also really hoping we could get more scenes within the courtroom but for the most part they tend to all be off screen.

The movie starts off with a guy getting murdered and then lit on fire. We cut to the present where the assailant was found to be a guy named Misumi who ended up agreeing to the charges. He is not slated to be sent for death and so that’s when Shigemori is called in as his defense. Shigemori needs to fight the technicality of the crime here. If he can change it from a murder robbery to something slightly lower, then he can get the guy off with life in prison instead. The problem is that Misumi seems to keep on giving different answers to every question as if he himself isn’t sure of what happened and is also giving incriminating statements. Does this guy want to be found guilty?

For a while there that’s sort of what I figured was happening. Misumi desperately wanted the death penalty and was trying to sabotage himself. It turns out that this wasn’t the case which makes him look that much worse to be honest. He comes off as really naive and gullible the whole time. The guy is in a bad position and just tries to do his best but he really could have planned things out almost any other way and had a better outcome. So every time the characters have a conversation with him you just cringe. Even right to the end the guy was being super cryptic.

As with any criminal case, you do have to try and measure all of the evidence. One girl even tells Shigemori how nobody tells the truth around here and that seems about right. Everybody is lying to their own ends. Even Shigemori basically says he will do whatever it takes to win even if he doesn’t believe what he is saying. It’s a pretty rough way for a defense attorney to speak. I imagine it’s probably the easiest way for him to live with himself since it is a tough job. Being a defense attorney means you sometimes have to defend truly terrible people that you know are guilty. It’s definitely not a job that I could ever take.

He has a younger assistant who still believes in justice but we’ll see how long that lasts. The prosecutor is a lot more likable since she is trying to make the world a better place and is getting stopped by Shigemori the whole time. Now I know the Japanese criminal system can make a person jaded with how good they are at forcing confessions. Regardless of if the confession is true or not, they get it and then that ends the threat. In any society you always have to choose between security and freedom. Japan has chosen security and so there are pros and cons to that. A pro is that you often don’t see a lot of crime, most of the ones that make the headlines are from tourists which makes a lot of sense.

It means if you commit a crime then you will be in for a very bad time. It also means you need to be really careful where you are at because if you are falsely accused then you are also in for a bad time. For what it’s worth, I would say the Japanese system has more pros than cons, I would consider it to probably be the best system around the world. Other systems that use a similar security styled focus like China tend to have more corruption issues and freedom styled justice systems always tend to become a bit of a joke by the end.

All of these are reasons why Shigemori may not believe in the cause anymore. His father used to be a more lenient man but has also turned hard after his light sentences were taken for granted. One of them even involves the current suspect. Now as the film goes on we get more and more actual motives for Misumi beyond the ones that were made up. One in particular involves the girl Sakie and while most of the plotlines are left a bit up for interpretation, I don’t believe there is ever any scene that gives us a reason to doubt what happened to her. It is the cleanest explanation for the murder later on and helps Misumi look more reasonable.

I still maintain that Misumi could have handled things a whole lot better though and his whole speech about control was really just bonkers. The fact is that some people do have control over other people’s lives depending on the context and situation. It may be nice to say that nobody should have control but that’s like me saying it would be nice if there was no crime. There’s just not much point in such a statement because that’s just how it is.

Also back to Shigemori, part of why he’s not likable is aside from the fact that he doesn’t care about justice, he just seems to be completely unreasonable the whole time. For example he brings a letter to the widow of the man who was killed and explains it’s from the murderer who feels bad about the whole thing. The fact that he actually half expected her to take the letter is crazy. That’s just such an insult, I was glad she ripped it. Why would you possibly forgive the murderer so easily or believe that he has any sympathy about the incident? If anything I’d be more likely to attend the hearings after that and make it clear that I want him gone. Shigemori acting like that was rude of her was totally crazy.

Ah well, again I also think the film would have been a whole lot better if we got to be in the courtroom a bit more. Of course the judge also seemed to be a bit corrupt in the sense that he was most worried about his image. I don’t blame the judge for basically insulting the whole defense team at the end though because the way they handled the situation would absolutely look crazy to everyone on the outside. The investigating period as the characters travel around is interesting enough but usually the court room is the payoff for all of that. It felt like we got cheated out of the most interesting bits and could only see a small preview of it.

Overall, The Third Murder is an interesting film. It runs a tad too long at times and I would have either made the characters a bit more optimistic or given the assistant more of a role. It would just be nice to have someone in the film who was super invested in what was actually happening. To a degree that is part of Shigemori’s character arc but it takes him a long while to get there. Ultimately the film has a lot to say about the justice system and characters spouting off their own idea of ethics but for the most part the characters come off as crazy. Like the father when he said that at birth some people are capable of murder and others aren’t. It’s such a crazy perspective I had to wonder if he meant something else at first. Either way there is a lot going on here.

Overall 6/10

Bleach Rebirth of Souls Review

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It’s time to talk about an absolutely elite title! Bleach went above and beyond in terms of adding a ton of awesome content and easter egg for true fans. The presentation and story are absolutely first rate and of course this is a fighting game so you can’t go wrong there. Now granted, there is one aspect about the gameplay that I don’t love but barring that it’s all at an elite level here. The game is also surprisingly long so you’re guaranteed to have a satisfying time here.

The story begins with Ichigo having to gain supernatural powers in order to save his family. He is now a Substitute Soul Reaper, someone who stands on the edge between life and death. He has to fight powerful monsters and also save his friends from the corrupt Soul Society. Along the way he also learns of sentient monsters in Hueco Mundo who have big plans as well. Can Ichigo stop them all and save the entire universe from certain anhiliation?

One thing’s for sure right from the jump, the developers really paid attention to the manga. There are tons and tons of extra details here. A story mode doesn’t get much more detailed than this, particularly a fighting game one. There are hours and hours of pure cutscenes here even aside from the combat. There are also a ton of secret missions and also secret cutscenes that are triggered when you clear challenges during a level. So you really get rewarded for doing your best to follow the story beats.

The story is also handled pretty well on a difficulty basis. None of the levels are a piece of cake to get through, far from it! You’ve really got to focus here because if you let your guard down at all then it’s all over. Here’s where the gameplay becomes important. Unlike traditional fighting games where everyone has a normal health bar, this one is focused on reishi. That’s basically an aura. The only way to deal damage to your opponent’s life points is through final smashes. You can use these as soon as your opponent’s shield hits the red level but it will be one point weaker. Alternately reducing the shield to 0 means you can use your final smash at full power.

The downside to this of course is that you will be seeing the same final smashes over and over and over again. They each have a little pre recorded cutscene at the start but those do add up eventually. Some characters like Ichigo and Aizen also have longer than average cutscenes for the final smash. It’s definitely nice for the game to show off the top tier animation that they have but this is the only part that can get a little old. I’d have preferred a traditional health bar system but hey it is unique.

Naturally the graphics are completely top tier here. It all looks really amazing while playing through the game and they did a good job on the cutscenes as well. The soundtrack is also elite with a ton of great songs mixed in throughout the game. Whenever you are in battle and someone activates their Bankai, you can expect the game to really speed up. The game isn’t really focused on balance so some characters are super weak compared to others. That’s just how it goes, it’s a pretty fun approach that I can appreciate though. They’re trying to make every part of the game lore accurate even right down to the gameplay. You never really see that so it was impressive.

Naturally there is a whole lot of content here. The main story is almost 30 hours long and then aside from that you’ve got side missions, bonus levels, and lots of other stuff to do. Vs mode itself is naturally enough for infinite replay value as well. So when you mix the whole thing together then you have a winning formula. The Platinum trophy for the game definitely looks like it would be a really hard one to grab though. Definitely not one that I would aim for anytime soon at least. It is yet another way the game has a ton of replay value though.

After playing through a ton of characters for the story, I can safely say that the most satisfying character to play as is Ichigo. They did a good job of developing him as a really good all around fighter. He may not be the strongest but he has good reach and his attacks combo well. My least favorite would be Uryu. Spamming the arrows can be interesting but you just don’t get to play as much. It feels less active when you can’t just be swinging a sword the whole time and forcing the opponents to back off. That is when Bleach is at its best after all, when you can just take off the limiters and run in for action.

It does match Uryu’s fighting style though so it’s yet another good detail. Similarly Mayuri doesn’t run around, a scientist like him is too proud for that. So he has good reach and attacks that pull in the opponent. Of course while accurate, that’s why I wouldn’t play as him much. Grimmjow is a lot of fun with his savage attacks but they also hurt himself which makes him rough. Yeah I’ll stick with Ichigo. Also quick shoutout to the fact that the whole game is English dubbed. I can tell you that this makes a massive difference. You really feel the emotion and the passion in every fight. It further helps the cinematic feel of the story mode.

Overall, Bleach: Rebirth of Souls was a game that was getting a ton of hype for months and months and I am proud to say that it completely lived up to it. Every part of this game is completely satisfying and polished. I will be getting the sequel right away when it comes out as I’m hyped to see how the sequel goes. There’s definitely a lot more content to cover and now I can say with 100% confidence that this team will know how to handle it. If you had any doubts about the game you can definitely put them aside. This is the ultimate tribute to Bleach fans and I expect it to continue to be talked about for a very long time.

Overall 9/10

Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues Review

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Cobra Kai is one of those titles that definitely got big out of nowhere. I remember thinking that a sequel to Karate Kid would be reasonable but to think it would get two different video games? I wouldn’t have guessed that. Now that the games are pretty cheap, it was time to get them and see just what I’ve been missing all this time. Well, suffice it to say, the game is pretty fun. It’s not great or anything but I enjoyed the story and between the two campaigns there is a decent amount of content here. Any beat em up fan will get a kick out of this.

I went with the Cobra Kai story of course. The title starts with two kids being thrown into detention for having another fight. One of them is a big fan of the Cobra Kai dojo wile the other is a Miyagi stan. They both have differing accounts of what exactly happened that caused so much drama. From the Cobra Kai side, it seems like Daniel LaRusso is causing a ton of trouble and really making a mess of things. It seems like he can’t move on from the past and so he has to be stopped before karate is fully corrupted. Where is he hiding though?

The gameplay here is a classic 2D beat em up. You have to fight through waves and waves of opponents as you proceed forward. You have your basic moves, super moves, and you can switch between your 4 characters at will. You lose a level if all 4 are defeated but generally I don’t see that being a problem. The game isn’t one of the more difficult ones. Maybe if you opt not to use any upgrades then it could be tricky. The upgrades are really handy since they reduce cooldown timer on your special attacks and also increase the attack power itself.

You earn the currency to use the power ups as you defeat enemies and clear specific challenges like finishing off 15 opponents with your signature move. Basically you’ll get a ton of these challenges by playing normally but definitely check them out at the dojo since there are some you will need to actively try for. The upgrades are all increases of about 1% but they really add up. You don’t want to miss out unless you are intentionally trying to make the game more difficult.

How the game works is there are normal levels and boss levels. The normal levels are circles on the map which lead to the boss levels. These stages have no cutscenes and you’re just blowing enemies away. Each boss level has two big fighters who stand in your way in addition to all the minions. Clearing a boss level gives you a clue point. Once you have 8 clue points, you can go to the final boss lair and fight Daniel LaRusso. There seem to be about 12-14 boss levels so you really have some options on where you want to go. Also if you feel you aren’t strong enough to defeat him yet, then you could play those levels for more EXP.

Be warned, whichever Dojo you start with, you will not be able to switch back, to them again during New Game+. In that mode you must play as the second dojo and complete the game again. That will then unlock the true ending so you can see here how the game has a certain amount of depth to it. Definitely not something to be underestimated. The levels are reasonably long too. The normal levels are only around 10 minutes or so but the boss ones can approach 25. You don’t want to lose there. Now, I never did so it’s possible there is a checkpoint or something but I wouldn’t risk it. Just keep fighting as hard as you can.

I’d say the most important thing here is to use a lot of special attacks. You gain invincibility during almost all of them and they cool down very quickly even without upgrades. So keep on spamming those and spam your dodge in order to stay one step ahead. As you play through the game you will quickly get a feel for how to deal with each enemy. When in a group, be careful about hitting an opponent while they’re down. You have no super armor during this maneuver which means that you will be super vulnerable.

Perfect blocking/parrying an attack does restore some of your health though so this is really something to be aware of. Most of the enemies can seem a bit unpredictable at first but they keep the same movements throughout the game. So eventually you should have a good understanding of how to defeat them, or at least I would figure you would. There are a lot of health items that are dropped in each level though so this may not even be necessary. Your fallen allies even revive after a little time.

There are also a few collectibles in each level so that will help during the replay value. Getting the Platinum doesn’t look insane but it definitely will take time so you really can’t go too easy on it. Expect to be here for a little while. Fortunately the gameplay is fun so that works well enough. Considering that you can get the game for about $5 nowadays, I would say that’s even a bargain. It’s definitely got more content than your average tie-in.

As for the music, it gets surprisingly good as you play through the game. It’s trying very hard to emulate the old music and you can feel that but after a while it just starts to come into its own. Perhaps it is from listening to the same themes so many times but you begin to enjoy them. That’s a pretty good feat. The graphics are definitely sub par though. Stuff you could have seen on the PS2. I appreciate that there is voice acting though. So all in all, the technicals are good enough.

Overall, Cobra Kai is one of those video games that takes you down memory lane. They don’t make a ton of games like this anymore. It feels very authentic and is a lot of fun. You will be done with it quickly but not too quickly considering the price. It may even make you want to watch the TV show and see if it can hold its own with the game. I’ll be going through the second game fairly quick so you can expect a review on that one soon enough. It uses a completely different gameplay style so that will either be a good thing or backfire big time.

Overall 7/10

Sonic The Hedgehog: Bad Guys Review

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It was finally time for the bad guys to get a quick spinoff adventure of their own. Right now there aren’t a lot of big time villains on the loose so these are mainly the B tiers but in a way that works out so that the group isn’t too overpowered. It’s a fun enough adventure. I always like seeing the villains trying to work together even if I did end up missing Sonic and pals. You already know when Sonic shows up all of these villains are doomed. That’s how powerful Sonic is and why he is so feared.

The comic starts with Dr. Starline trying to figure out how to take over the world and get back into Eggman’s good graces. They had a big falling out which Starline mainly attributes to being Eggman’s fault but because of that he can’t just walk up to the doctor. No, he needs more power and so that’s when he decides on a prison break. He’ll get all of the villains out so they can help him bust into Eggman’s base and steal some key parts. With those, Starline will have everything he needs to achieve his goals…but can he trust the other villains?

Tensions are high the whole time since nobody trusts each other. Zavok in particular has good reason not to trust anybody since he was just double crossed about a week ago. To get around this, Starline says he will work for Zavok. Both of them suspect a betrayal is coming up but set up a partnership in the meantime. You have to decide which villain has the upper hand here or if they both end up looking a little too naive here. There is a whole lot of back and forth as every villain takes some risks but of course it does make sense why they all want to get out of jail.

Mimic is probably the coolest villain of the bunch. He still comes off as a really intense assassin who is always out for blood. By this point he is obsessed with taking down Whisper and as it stands he is probably still a bit stronger than her. She’ll need to watch her back, having the ability to shapeshift is always an extremely difficult power to overcome. No matter where you go, he could be around somewhere.

Then you have Rough and Tumble. I’ve always had a soft spot for these guys. They are fairly weak in the grand scheme of things but their catchphrase is a lot of fun. They really know how to get the rhymes in without any delay. They also may not be as strong as someone like Knuckles but they still do have some strength. I also like the teamwork and solid bond between them. Note, I wouldn’t want them to turn good or anything but I look forward to their next battle.

Of course Zavok is a big player here and I want to say that the comic is doing its best to make him a really hype figure. Does it work? Ehhhhh I’d say not so much. Ultimately he looks tough but as always falters down the stretch. There’s really no reason for him to be outsmarted yet again since he had a heads up here. It shows that he really needs to get better at planning. He also gets incredibly lucky with his escape at the end because Eggman really had him dead to rights. Only plot armor was able to help him.

As for Starline, you could argue that he is the only one to really get a win here. Perhaps not in the way that he hoped and it took some last minute improvising but things turned out well enough. I just still don’t find him to be a very interesting villain yet. Eggman’s really the only brainiac that we need. Starline can change this but for now he is relatively uninspiring. In a sense you can say the continuity is still young though so he can have plenty of time to prove me wrong. It would be good for him to rise up the ranks. Maybe some of his tech can help him get a decisive win over Sonic. That would be a good start.

Eggman is around a bit and I’d say he looks good. He does see through some of the obvious traps and shows why he is still a genius. He may lose to Sonic a lot but is still a tough customer. It would have been fun to have had a quick Sonic appearance but we got something close to a cameo so I suppose I’ll have to settle for that. I’d like to try another villain team up like this a few years down the line when they can include big fighters like Infinite, Mephiles, Black Doom, etc. You probably can’t do them all at once or the heroes would really be doomed but there is a ton of potential there.

As always the art is very good here. It’s very colorful and all of the characters stand out. The fight scenes are good and the pages are all easy to follow. The action sequences are solid as well so I really have no complaints at all here. Sonic never disappoints. Meanwhile the writing is solid as you would expect and the whole adventure is very engaging. It may not be really high stakes but it’s nice to get a window into what goes on while Sonic and friends are having a little break. There is always a little chaos somewhere.

Overall, Bad Guys was a fun comic to read through. It’s a self contained story that you can read cover to cover without having to rely on any other titles. It still sets up clear plotlines for the future as well with all of these villains getting another opportunity to show up. I’d say it’s probably good to space them out and give time for more villains to be introduced but all of these guys are definitely ready to really cause a stir. If you haven’t read this comic yet, you should definitely change that! This may feel like a light hearted spinoff adventure but it does end with some pathways back to the main series so you won’t want to miss out on that. Mimic, Zavok, and Starline definitely have some big plans up their sleeves.

Overall 7/10

Puppet Master Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those disgraceful movies. This one never even got to start on a high note and so you knew immediately that it wouldn’t be any good. Puppets can make for interesting villains at times but this one is definitely just going for shock value the whole time with no real substance at play. Throw in a bunch of annoying characters and you have an absolute recipe for disaster.

The film starts off with the Puppet Master bumping himself off instead of fighting off the evil villains. We then cut to the present where a group of psychic power users are summoned by their old “friend” Neil. These people are the best at what they do. Whether it is seeing the future, seeing the past, or being able to use wards, they are ready for anything. You might call them something like the Psychic Avengers! When they all walk into a room you will be shocked at what little aura any of them possesses. It’s almost as if they drain it from the room. Here’s the strange thing though, Neil is dead and has clearly been that way for a long while. How come none of these psychics sensed that? How did Neil summon them while dead? Well surely it wouldn’t hurt to stay in his mansion for one night?…….can they survive the puppets?

I mean maybe you could feel a little bad for them if they were upstanding citizens but they all look terrible from the jump. Frank and Carissa are way too self absorbed as they mess around when this should be serious business, Dana seems rather desperate and Alex completely wastes his future ability by not actually doing anything about it. It’s clear that they are all out of their depths and completely unprepared for what is about to happen. These psychics are all about to get exposed.

Neil’s wife Megan is rather suspicious the whole time. She is easy to offend but also seems to know more than she is letting on with Neil. The film shrouds her in mystery the whole time but she still never manages to be all that interesting. She gets to spend a decent amount of time with Alex but of course she was just married so you hope there is no romance brewing. Alex just seems oblivious to all the danger throughout the movie though. Even in the dream where we see the future, he just mindlessly walks into a trap. Yes, it was a dream but it is treated as something he would have done if that was the situation. Cmon now.

Frank and Carissa are some of the worst because they know they are in imminent danger and decide now is the time for bondage play. Really? Reallllly? That’s one of the most contrived kills I’ve seen in a long time, especially as Carissa has several minutes to free Frank but panics instead. The whole scene is just soooo bad and drawn out. They were going for max edge on both of the kills here and it was all so overdone.

Then for Dana, she seemed like the weakest anyway. Aside from her only noticeable trait being that she was crazy, she just didn’t handle this very well. I’ll get into this more later on but the puppets are really weak. At least for Frank and Carissa you can make a few excuses even if they are weak ones. Well, Frank has a legit excuse, the rest are dicey. For Dana she is just flat out defeated which is crazy.

These puppets are nothing like Chucky or Talking Tina. They don’t seem to have infinite regen or teleportation. We see characters tossing them around and plucking them apart like actual toys. They look so weak (Thanks in part to the low budget) that they should have lost immediately. For example one of the puppets is like the Thing. He does the “It’s Clobbering time!” barrage of fists. His fists don’t hurt too much as different characters eat a few punches and then toss him away. The main problem as always is they don’t finish the job. Rip the puppets arms off, keep the head detached, etc. Instead they just wait as the puppet very slowly puts himself back together.

Yeah the small hits will add up eventually so just take them out. Near the end we get an extended fight scene where somebody takes on multiple puppets at once and you just can’t help but feel like he could have done a lot better. The movie never actually makes the puppets look all that scary. I mean they were scared of humans with guns in the opening scene after all. They are fighters but not particularly good ones.

I’d also say that the ending is rather rushed with the puppets doing a 180 for no reason. You’re not sure why the main villain is suddenly afraid of them or why Alex suddenly wants to help the villain. Did he think the death would be too gruesome? I just don’t see why, if Alex frees the guy then Alex will quickly be murdered. It again makes Alex look dumb as rocks here. So not only is he making all of the wrong decisions over and over again but now he’s actively going out of his way to help the villain?

The writing throughout the film is terrible but that’s par for the course. The villains aren’t very intimidating at all and the characters are really bad. The violence is extremely over the top and so the movie doesn’t really have much of anything going for it. It’s not very long at least which I can say is a good thing. That may be the only real good thing I can say about it. There was a lot of potential here but the film used none of it.

There is one good thing I can say about the film and that is that I liked the designs of some of the puppets. The one with the knife was rather scary and I also liked the one with the big fists. The sound effect every time he would punch someone was intense. Maybe a bit funnier than scary but it worked well. The puppets could hold their own in a survival setting. The movie just didn’t execute on anything around them.

Overall, The idea of a bunch of psychic people getting together to solve a mystery of their dead enemy is really interesting. You could have done a lot with that but instead they don’t actually get to interact a ton before they split up and start getting picked off. None of them have any survival instincts with how they drink a lot and get tied up. Different members felt danger and evil when they walked into the mansion, did they just forget that? They underestimated the dummies to a painful degree and I’d argue the only smart thing to do would have been to leave the house immediately. If not, at least stay together and it would be hard to be defeated. Their overconfidence got to them and I still find it hard to believe that the franchise got so many films. Maybe the sequels will be better but this was a really rough start for the franchise. It was just L after L and you want to stay very far away from this one.

Overall 2/10

Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition Review

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Xenoblade Chronicles is often thought of as one of the all time great RPGs and I would say it lives up to that. The story is dynamite, the gameplay is a lot of fun, and there is just so much to do within the game. It’s the kind of game that you can play for a very long time and not get bored. The content just keeps on going and the Switch version even has a whole epilogue to it. So now you’ve got extra content on top of a game that was already very long. This game is definitely a bargain at any price.

The game starts off by showing us a war between Mechonis and Bionis. After a large scale war, Bionis won and the world was finally at peace. Unfortunately it would not last forever. Several years later, Mechonis has returned and now the fighting is intensifying. Local researcher genius Shulk will now have to wield the legendary Monado Blade to fight back. The blade is so powerful that it cannot be controlled by most people and then injures the people who do wield it for too long. Shulk seems impervious to the effects but for how long? Also while he uses it, he appears to be able to see bits of the future. Maybe he can save the whole universe now!

There are a lot of positives to get into here but the first one has to be just how fast the story gets going. You start the game off with a massive war, and then another invasion a few cutscenes later. The game isn’t trying to bog you down with a long intro, you’re just thrown into the mix. The pacing stays pretty fast throughout the game and well the main tory is around 50 hours to get through so that’s a whole lot of content. There are hundreds and hundreds of side quests to play through as well, and optional bond moments too.

The game is also reasonably difficult so you are really encourages to go around completing a lot of side quests to get stronger. Doing this is the best way to really make sure you are ready for action. I spent many hours just fighting minions to get stronger and let me yell you, it was absolutely needed. The amount of times I was destroyed by a boss was very high. The villains are given a lot of respect in the power levels department so as Shulk you do feel like the underdog. This works well with the story.

The game also handled the future sight really well. It’s generally hard for any character to land a hit on Shulk. He’s much too fast, skilled, and powerful with that ability. Then to counter it, we have enemies who can read minds who turn that against him or other times when Shulk is not doing well and temporarily loses his abilities. It helps to keep things balanced. The story changes a lot throughout the adventure as we meet many different factions and fighters. They’re all well thought out and as always RPGs do have a huge advantage here because of how long you’re with the characters. How could you not grow to like them after being on the journey for so long right?

As for the gameplay, it’s a turn based system with a little auto attacking. Think of it like .Hack. So every second hat you run around and don’t click on anything, you will do an auto attack. This builds up your Monado gauge for powerful attacks. Additionally you can cycle through your signature moves and use any of those at any time. These deal a whole lot of damage and are really good to have in the pocket. They all have a cooldown though so you want to be careful about when you use them.

Meanwhile you can switch characters and use their abilities as well. Then there are combo hits and a lot of other mechanics to go through. This is a very involved game and then you can also level up the attacks when you find the book that activates the upgrade. Most of these are found in shops for lower levels and then at the highest levels you have to find specific enemies to drop them. As a result it can take a while to get the exact item that you want. Quick saving and reloading is probably the easiest way to get around the low percentage drops.

Throughout the game you will be asked to complete tasks which gets you money and exp as well as some good items. I was extremely impressed at the hundreds of missions in the game. That’s pretty much unheard of for virtually any game. It’s a staggering amount and I had to complete nearly all of them in order to become strong enough to beat the game. That’s how I knew that this game meant business. It’s also nice that for all of the fetch quests, the map does show you where to find them. Doing this blind would have been absolutely brutal.

The worlds are absolutely huge after all so these quality of life features were greatly appreciated. Yet another thing that shows why Xenoblade Chronicles is such an elite title. A lesser game would have still had you searching blind the whole time which would have been rough. There are also a few mechanics I didn’t get to try out much like trading materials with different passerbys. I also didn’t do most of the bond missions and just leveled them up naturally by fighting enemies.

There are so many different ways to equip and form your party that the possibilities are nearly endless as well. If hypothetically the levels ups were not enough, then I would have done a lot of tweaking in my party until I found the right balance. It’s another area where trial and error is a good idea. Meanwhile the technical aspects are top tier as you’d expect. The soundtrack is excellent with a whole lot of great rock tunes. The main battle theme is a true all star and all of the other tunes hold their own as well. Meanwhile the graphics are great. I really enjoyed the battles within the cutscenes and of course the effects during gameplay as well. The game never lacked for detail.

Overall, This was a top tier game. It’s just really hard to beat a good RPG! It was also nice to finally see Shulk in action. His personality here is definitely quite a bit different than in Super Smash Bros but you still get the general idea. It always gives me a lot of high respect for how Sakurai really adapted the moves and lines from the game. It really makes his moveset in Smash a true celebration of his character. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is still the best one but this holds its own. I’ll be eager to see how X ends up faring.

Overall 9/10

Donkey Kong ’94 Review

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It’s time for the return of Donkey Kong. This is one of Mario’s first ever antagonists and I can tell you that nobody ever expected he would end up becoming the great hero that he is today. Well, that wasn’t the case here as he’s up to his old tricks in kidnapping Pauline so now Mario has to stop him. This time DK is well prepared though and has hidden behind dozens and dozens of levels. Can Mario get through them all in time to save her? One thing’s for sure, it’s unlikely that Pauline would be friends with DK again after all of this.

The gameplay initially starts off with the classic Donkey Kong style as you jump through the different floors and try to dodge all the barrels. The level then ends once you reach the top. Well after a few levels of this the game transforms into a more standard platformer and this is when things get real. Each world has levels in multiples of 4 where you fight DK every 4. So some worlds have 8 levels while others have up to 16. It’s definitely a lot of levels to get through. The objective in the platforming levels is to get the key and bring it over to the chest in order to open it. This may sound easy but as the levels go, there are more and more obstacles in your path.

I was pretty impressed at different points with how creative the game would get. It was also rather difficult, certainly a lot more difficult than you would expect a game to be nowadays. Nintendo was not holding back so you can expect to die a number of times here. All it takes is to mistime one of your jumps and it is curtains. You can throw your key around to get past some but if you don’t pick it up within a few seconds, it will respawn back to where you first grabbed it. So you often have to move really fast or you will have just lost a bunch of ground for no reason.

The levels tend to be on the smaller side so it doesn’t feel bad if you lose too much though. Ultimately it comes down to having a plan. As long as you know what you are going to do then time will rarely if ever be a problem for you. Sometimes you just can’t execute your plan quick enough so there will be a degree of trial and error here. Just don’t give up, keep on swinging and eventually you will make it. If you’re super stuck, try looking for an alternate path because sometimes you’re just looking at the puzzle all wrong.

The toughest parts are definitely when a level has different arrow orbs. These create blocks that can be climbed or walked on depending on where you pout them. They often end up being the toughest because there are tons of ways to use them since you choose where they go. In most puzzles, you’re figuring out how to use equipment that has been put in specific places so that is way easier. Well, just keep your composure and you’ll be fine.

The graphics are pretty good. The game looks nice throughout from the backgrounds to the character designs and items. It has that Nintendo charm to it at all times. The soundtrack is more forgettable but DK games rarely keep pace with the classic Mario titles anyway. As long as they’re close, I suppose that’s the important thing. The story mode will take you a decent time to get through thanks to all of the levels. Probably 3-4 hours if I had to guess and potentially a bit more depending on how many times you need to try again. You’re getting a pretty decent bang for your buck even if it’s not crazy long or anything like that.

I guess my biggest piece of advice when playing the game is to try not stopping much. It’s better to take the wrong approach and lose a life than to be left wondering what to do and lose when the time runs out. The timer isn’t especially high so it will run out rather quickly and in the worst case you will be just as lost when you respawn. At least when you die from the first method you can rule that out as an option. It’s not like the levels are crazy complex so just knowing one way that isn’t correct will really help you narrow things down.

As for the boss fights, those are pretty self explanatory. You have to hit Dk with the barrels that he drops down. Keep the pressure on him and you’ve got this. Unlike the levels, I would say the bosses always tend to be pretty easy. Not crazy easy like you can close your eyes during them or anything like that but easy enough where I don’t expect you will die much at all. It’s just not that game.

Overall, Donkey Kong is definitely a fun game. It takes you back to a simpler time of gaming and it holds up really nicely. I’d be up for more titles like this one. The whole transporting the key around thing was definitely really creative. The Mario vs DK series is still kicking so there is always a chance to keep on making new games like this one. Until then, you should definitely check this out on the Nintendo Switch Online. There is no downside to doing it after all so why not right?

Overall 7/10

Nobunaga’s Ambition: Lord of Darkness Review

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Uh oh, it’s another strategy type game! Lord of Darkness takes thing further than the first game in regards to how realistic they are going with the simulation. You now have to worry about supplies and 7 different kinds of locations in addition to the battles. As a result there is far less gameplay than in the first one. The difficulty of the battles themselves appears to have been lessened but the game itself is just as difficult as always because of all the other factors you have to worry about. The more you have to keep track of everything, the more you will quickly find yourself being absolutely shut down. Ultimately, you’re doomed here.

The game has only 2 scenarios instead of 3 this time but maybe you unlock the third later on. The main goal of the game is really to go in and conquer all of the world. Along the way you will have to fight or ally with other team leaders. Of course the whole quest feels virtually endless with how the other armies keep popping up like whack a moles. Defeat one of them and another 3 come in to take their place. Trust me, it’s not ideal when you like to see your progress going up. I felt the same way for De Blob 2 and Paper Mario: Color Splash. I never like the idea of enemies recapturing different locations that I already got.

The only exception I can think of is Dynasty Warriors since it’s all happening in real time and it’s on the same level. So it doesn’t feel as bad when I lose a piece of land compared to other games where it means a whole lot of back tracking. I would argue that it is a completely different circumstance to be honest. Then this game is also just very complex with how the supplies are handled. You can give orders once a month so you have to be very complete with them. Try addressing as many areas as possible because the wait to the next month will be absolutely brutal. Of course on the other hand this also means that each month will be really time consuming.

The enemies seem to be a lot more relaxed this time around though so I made it through many seasons without being attacked. That also means that the game gets downright boring though. You’ve also got a lot of RNG elements here like floods that come washing in and illnesses that take chunks out of the general populace. Why add RNG to a heavy strategy game like this? The answer might be that it tests your strategic skills in an ever changing environment but it just makes you less invested since your well thought out plans can be done in an instant.

The graphics are okay at best but it’s clear that they were not a big priority here. There’s also not much of a soundtrack at all. I can say that they did put a lot of effort into the gameplay so I’ll give them some props there. It just wasn’t any fun and ultimately that is the most important part of any game. Who is going to play a video game that they don’t think is an absolute blast? It just wouldn’t make sense and so this one just forgot to be super fun. I’m sure strategy fans may get a kick out of this one but it definitely does not have the kind of widespread appeal that you would like to see here.

In terms of quality of life features, the game could definitely stand to label the units. They’re all very easy to mix up. The difference comes down to their weapons and flags. If you really pay attention then you will know what they all represent but having a basic map on screen would be nice. In a more modern adventure you wouldn’t need that since the game would have way more details but in this case it is an absolute necessity. It’s certainly an instance where the game’s technical limitations really came back to bite it.

There’s not a whole lot more to get into with this game. You can activate multiplayer which can make things a little more fun but the sheer chunk of time that it would take up would probably end up hurting quite a bit. With two players that is basically double the amount of time that it would take to clear each game and that’s assuming that one of the other 25 computers doesn’t win. So if you’re going to do a multiplayer battle this is probably not the title to use.

Overall, I would say to avoid this game. Even though it’s free, there just isn’t much fun to be had here. The menus are way too extensive and the gameplay is too limited. I would probably rather read a book about the warring states than play through this one. I can’t say that I find the period too engaging even on a good day but there are ways to make it interesting. Perhaps a modern PS5 remake would prove to be different but in the meantime this is definitely a full on skip.

Overall 2/10

Uncharted Waters: New Horizons Review

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Okay this one is actually a bit more brutal than the Nobunaga’s Ambition title. For starters there is still combat but it’s even slower and the bartering is even more detailed. Well, I’m jumping into this a little out of order so let me slow down here. Lets just say this isn’t like the Uncharted games that you’re used to. No sir, this is a very different experience and unfortunately I can’t exactly say that in a good way. I suppose there is a whole lot of water though.

So the game starts off by letting you choose from a bunch of characters. It probably makes a difference on how the game starts off so I picked the guy who seemed the most well rounded. You start off by talking to a bunch of people to get your starting equipment. Some food, water, men, items, and of course a boat. Now what you gotta do is travel the world and buy/sell items of commerce in order to get things rolling.

This is of course where the game starts to really lose a whole lot of steam. It’s just not a fun kind of gameplay. For starters you have to monitor the going prices on each island. Say Island A sells corn for $5, but island B sells it for $3. You want to go to Island B and buy a lot of it, then go sell to Island A where they really need it. Multiply this by over 20 different items and of course factor in that you need to have enough money to invest in buying more food for your men as well as to buy more material to buy. Amp up the confusion even higher when you have to deal with pirates that are running around.

These fights are hard to win and take a lot of men. If too many die, then you’re going to have to find more at another island which will of course take even more fuel out of your tanks. That’s not good. Did I mention that you can also run into random storms that eat up materials? Bet you didn’t think of that one….and if you die at sea it’s a full game over. There is no save point to go back to. You have to start from scratch. In a way it’s sort of like Digimon World Next Order where the intro is the toughest part as you will lose a few generations on getting the basics going but by the mid game you are really well prepared for what’s next.

Difference is that I don’t have a really enjoyable story and fun graphics to incentivize me to do all of that. No, instead I’m supposed to just enjoy the process and that’s not good enough for me. There is a story here of course as you’re taking someone back to his kingdom, helping a stowaway, etc. There’s also a war going on but none of it is particularly captivating. It doesn’t move you the way that a more interesting story could have. I know there were some technical limitations back in the day but it didn’t stop a lot of other big SNES titles that I’ve played back in the day. No sir, those just kept on trucking through.

The most I can say for the game is that it looks pretty nice. It reminds me of the old Final Fantasy titles. It’s peaceful to be moving around without any wild encounters running around. It feels like a long time since I could just explore the hub world like that so it was really a good change of pace. It even made me think that the game could have been good if it was limited to just the island. Maybe you’re the mayor and you have to take care of folks with a lot of trading. I think that could have actually worked out well but this one was just too ambitious for what it was trying to do. It ultimately was doomed to not be able to succeed this time.

Now just to leave the series some hope, the other way it could work out is if they made this into a big MMORPG. Imagine this scale but all of the people running around are actually real people. It’s why that genre always had a lot of potential. I don’t see myself really getting involved in any of those because honestly that would be extremely time consuming but I do get the appeal. If you are ever going to make a trading game that is actually fun, I don’t see any other way around it. You need to add that social element to the game, it would make you heavily invested. Particularly if there are social guilds and everything since then you don’t want to let your party down.

Overall, Uncharted Waters is not a good video game, I would even go as far as to call it a pretty bad one. I actually think it could be a good educational tool for kids but in that case the gameplay is a bit too difficult. They would need to find some kind of a solid middle ground but ultimately this just isn’t it. This is not the game that will really change things for folks and that may be unfortunate but it’s just the way that it goes. I can see why this game never got all that huge. I like to say that I am a fan of strategy titles but perhaps I’ve been overrating myself in that department. These definitely show that I’m still out of my depths past a certain point. I need some kind of excitement to get me going. Unlike fighting games or platformers, the gameplay alone cannot carry the game.

Overall 2/10