Tag Archives: Sequel

Call Me Mrs. Miracle Review

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It’s time for another Christmas adventure! You always know that things will be getting intense when Mrs. Miracle is involved and she’s here to save Christmas once again. We’ve got a pretty solid title here and I would even put it above the first film. It has the drama, hope, and fun that you would expect from a film like this with nothing really holding it back. At most I guess you could say there wasn’t really any baking here and that always makes for a really fun moment. Still there’s enough story for everyone.

The film introduces us to Molly who is a really good marketer but unfortunately she works for a rather lousy boss. Her boss really believes that she is superior to everyone else around her and so she is always insulting everyone. This makes it hard to try and sell more clothes but Molly gets the blame for this. She also has to take care of her nephew while her brother is away at the army so she has to always be happy. It’s a lot of responsibility but she is managing all right. That’s when she ends up meeting Mrs. Miracle over at Finley’s toy store and even meets the son of the owner, Jake. They hit it off immediately but can she really afford to be dating while looking after a kid like this? Meanwhile Jake is struggling to run the business as he takes big gambles that may not pay off. If he can’t sell all of the toys by Christmas then it’s it for him.

In this film Miracle works at the toy store because this allows her to cross paths with more people at once. She is trying to set up a romance for Jake’s boss, set one up for Jake, and of course in the meantime she is increasing the profit margins for Finley’s by making them a more wholesome toy store. She’s very effective so I have to give her full points here. She is able to effectively gaslight the owner for the majority of the movie and for everyone else she makes sure to be in the right spot at the right time. I would even say she is more effective here than in film 1 due to the scope of how many people she is helping.

As for Molly, she’s a very solid main character. She is doing her best in a rather tough situation and does tend to have it under control. She only makes one main mistake in choosing a date over helping her nephew pick out a present. That should have been her priority without a doubt. She does try hard though and the nephew should have been more understanding since he has certainly made his share of mistakes during the film and she was always handling it all well. He wasn’t being very grateful the whole time as it is.

Meanwhile Jake is doing his best to manage the toys but honestly I wouldn’t say that he’s a great manager. For starters his idea to not stock the new toy on the shelves for personal reasons was pretty awful. You can’t do that when you’re representing a company. You need to be cold and calculating in your approach. If he was worried that the toy was dangerous that would be one thing but he just doesn’t like the toy. He thinks that they’re all really cheap and kids should play with old fashioned ones. Fortunately for him the toys end up working as portable explosives so it’s good that his store didn’t have any but that was just luck.

He was right due to circumstances beyond his control. You know what we call that over here? Undeserved hype! Yes that was not truly his victory and I would have liked him to reflect on that a little more. For the most part he does mean well though and he is nice to the staff so you can tell that he’s a good guy. Maybe with more experience under his belt he will become a better and better manager as time goes on.

The romance is naturally a bit on the rushed side here as both characters get caught up in the Christmas spirit but at least all of the characters are likable here. There is a little drama towards the end but it’s not nearly as massive as in the first film so it is a lot more realistic when the characters manage to solve this so quickly. I thought it was executed so much better than the first time so it made for a good way to end things.

The pacing is good in the film and the writing is on point. This is the definition of a feel good film all the way through. It’s the kind of solid wish fulfillment that will have you looking over your shoulder once in a while so that you don’t miss your special moment. Ultimately it may blend in a bit with some of the other Hallmark titles but it can go pound for pound with most of them. Mrs. Miracle adds that little magic touch as well and so the film’s got a good balance of realism with some supernatural elements here.

Overall, The second Mrs. Miracle film is pretty fun. At times you may feel like she takes her plans a bit far like planning a whole big party without even letting the owners know but when you’ve got her level of ability I suppose there isn’t much to worry about. She will always be one step ahead of the competition and what’s the worst they can do, fire her? She’ll be gone after Christmas anyway. If you’re looking for a light hearted romance with a little drama and romance then this should be the ticket for you. It’s just well balanced through and through without making any real mistakes. It’s perhaps a bit more basic than some of the others due to this but basic never has to be a bad thing.

Overall 7/10

Golden Sun: Dark Dawn Review

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Golden Sun has always been a pretty great franchise and it’s nice to see that this game got a quick manga oneshot. It’s really just an adaption of the intro level so it’s not like it’s very long or anything but I’ll take what I can get.

The story starts with one of the kids trying to show off by proving he could pilot a flying device but didn’t realize that he needed wind powers for that. So naturally he crashes into a dangerous forest. The hero of the Golden Sun event, Isaac heads off to save him. Accompanying him is Matthew and the rest of the next generation. They end up having to fight some monsters though and it’s overall a dangerous mission but nothing will stop them from saving their friend. That is what it means to be a true hero!

Definitely a fun story. It’s also interesting how there are a lot of creative liberties from the game. For starters Isaac is the only adult here so his trusty sidekick is nowhere to be seen in this version. Additionally while in the game this was mostly all part of Isaac’s plan in terms of how to handle finding the lost kid, in the manga he’s caught more off guard. To the point where he actually loses to one of the monsters and ends up having to be saved. This change makes him look really weak so ultimately I don’t think that was the way to go. They should have just had him be in command of everything like normal.

The art was fairly decent. I wouldn’t call it top tier or anything like that but it works well enough to get the story of the oneshot across. Additionally the character cast is on point and this makes for a good adventure. The idea of course is to get you to buy the game and I like to think that maybe this would convince some people. I’ve always wondered just how effective a short promo like this could be but hey I’d say it’s as good an attempt as any. There were really no mistakes in this story. Ultimately I just wish they would have gone ahead and done a complete adaption. That would have been a lot of fun.

Because of the short length there is only so much you can write about for this one though. That’s why this review is fairly short. The characters don’t really have time for intros and there isn’t a lot going on beyond the quick fight because the page count wouldn’t really allow for that. So ultimately this is a pure teaser all the way through but it’s an effective one that will have your interest piqued.

Overall, Golden Sun makes for a good story. As the story in the games is always top notch it makes sense that the manga follows suit. It’s still a little too short to really get invested on this end but at the same time that does mean you can easily read this one at any point. It won’t take long to do after all and then you are all set. I’m currently playing through the actual video game for this story so I’ll have the full review up for that one pretty soon. You could say that I’m in the home stretch already!

Overall 6/10

Justice League x RWBY: Super Heroes and Huntsmen, Part Two Review

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RWBY has returned!! It’s always good to see more RWBY content and you really have to savor this one while you can because we still don’t know when the next product is coming out. It could be years but hopefully not. Interestingly this film takes place after volume 9 which was a very interesting decision. I was definitely shocked when I first found this out but now at least if we don’t get Volume 10 we have some extra insight into what’s going on. This is a must watch for all RWBY fans as a result.

The movie starts with the Justice League waking up after the simulation in the first film and they’re ready to take care of business now. Unfortunately while they were gone the world has been overtaken by the Grimm. The Justice League may be powerful but they aren’t ready to take on the powerful legions of Grimm. Their only option is to call in Team RWBY once more. Can even the experts take down the Grimm army or is the world too far gone here?

I’d actually say that this film beats part 1 for me. I feel like this movie had more variety in the battles and also the fact that it takes place in the present really ups the tension. It was great seeing what Team RWBY was doing after the V9 events.. Note that there aren’t too many spoilers for volume 9 if you watch this one. I’d say one pretty big spoiler involving a big development in volume 9 if you somehow managed to avoid the social media trends and one other big spoiler just involving where the team is in the present. Both are things you could have guessed though so it’s not a huge thing but either way you should have seen Volume 9 by this point right?

I wish we could have spent more time in the RWBY world here though because the fight there is the best one in the film by far. Seeing Ruby take on two of the giant Grimm snakes with ease using her master level speed and athletics was great. It’s definitely clear that she is the most powerful member of Team RWBY at this point and her confidence is at an all time high. She’s really taking care of business here and is completely self assured as the leader. There’s a subplot here about her possibly being too confident…and naturally I disagreed with that. I thought her level of confidence was great and inspiring. Plus she has the power to back it up so it’s not like its empty bravado.

If there’s just one thing I’m not crazy about with this taking place after volume 9 is I’m not sure that the status quo makes any sense. I feel like there would be a much greater sense of urgency going on. In theory Salem should be dashing over any minute now with her forces to end the world right? How about finding Mercury and friends? Now this could take place midway through volume 9 after the initial fights and there are a lot of ways that you could explain this so it’s not a negative per say but I’m a little skeptical is all. Particularly with the team just jumping over to DC world when their allies are in such danger.

The film addresses the time difference which makes this even worse. So last time the film took place during volume 7 and for the Justice League this happens minutes later. So how did we jump to Volume 9? Well Flash points out that time moves differently here so a few days in Justice League time is a few weeks in RWBY time. So when team RWBY jumps over to help the League for around 2 days (Because they did have to rest for one night before the climax) around 2 weeks would have passed in RWBY world at which point the rest of the resistance may have fallen. It’s also a little funny how the League asks RWBY if they need any help and they’re just like “nah”. I guess they either figure the Justice League will hold them back in the fight against Salem or they just figure they can win regardless. Either way it’s not the biggest vote of confidence for them.

Okay these are all things around the movie but lets talk about the story itself. It’s a pretty fun story that is part mystery as the characters wonder who is the mastermind from the RWBY side. It was fun to see the main villain of the video game Grimm Eclipse get references and even get a whole new illustration. That guy always did seem like an interesting character in the mythos but since a lot of people never played the game I’m guessing the character was probably a big question mark for a lot of viewers. The answer of who the main villain is was pretty satisfying.

The film uses some voice filters for the two main villains for a while and admittedly they were a bit annoying since it was super hard to understand them. Fortunately that ended up being fixed as the film went on which was good. Hearing those voices the whole film would have really been rough. Unfortunately we don’t get a proper fight against the mastermind but Killgore shows up and we get some satisfying fights with him.

In general I feel like the fights were better around the board here than in part 1. It felt more like the classic RWBY fights with the high speed takedowns. I also think the animators got to flex a lot more with the classic designs so maybe there was some trouble getting into the new ones. The fights are noticeably better when Team RWBY are in their classic designs as opposed to their re-designs in Justice League world. I do tend to prefer all of the classic designs as well but Ruby and Weiss look good in their superhero modes. I wasn’t big on Yang or Blake there.

Naturally the Justice League all look a lot better here since I didn’t really like any of their designs in the RWBY world. Also Batman is much more improved here as he actually feels like a detective mastermind this time around. That’s the kind of character development you love to see. He still does end up going down rather quickly which hurts the prep time part but at least the villains acknowledge that he was the greatest threat from the heroes so he had to be taken down.

Superman mainly gets clowned on the whole film as every single Grimm seems to have Kryptonite at the ready. It’s the rough part about having such an easily accessible weakness. Once you’re up against villains with it then this is game over. The Flash is mostly getting wrecked by his confidence issues in this film so don’t expect him to be doing a whole lot here either. It’s a really bad appearance for him here. Cyborg mostly gets styled on the whole time as he’s outhacked but at least by the end he gets his moment.

Wonder Woman, Vixen, and Black Canary are mainly consistent as they go about their business and take care of Grimm although the most satisfying moment was when Wonder Woman throws a punch but Yang catches it and physically overpowers her. Yang is absolutely crushing Wonder Woman in a 1 v 1 and the film seemed to get the drift here. I’d argue the Justice League don’t look very impressive at all here and mainly had to get saved by Team RWBY a whole lot. Works for me of course since those heroines are great.

This also has to be one of Ruby’s best portrayals which is great since of course she hit a rough patch in Volume 9. Here we see her making plans, using quick attack combos, and she was the first to figure out her powers in this new world. All Ruby fans should be particularly pleased at her top level performance here.

The soundtrack doesn’t have any of those iconic vocal songs from the RWBY series. I guess since it’s a crossover they kept the music more generic and non memorable for the Justice League side of things but it would have been cool to have had a big theme for the climax. It’s always a bit odd how the movies just don’t seem to be able to keep up in terms of action or visuals with the RWBY TV show but if you had to allocate more budget one way or the other of course it’s worth it to throw that at volume 9.

Either way this film is a blast and I was really satisfied with what we got. If needed we can always end the franchise with a movie rather than volume 10 so we at least wrap things up. I definitely think you could pull it off. Sure it would be rushed because of how many plots there are but I definitely don’t think that it would be impossible. Just have Salem show up, we get a bunch of nonstop fights and when the gods are summoned they get solo’d by Ruby. Then that’s the ultimate game over and the conclusion to the greatest series of all time.

Overall, This is definitely a film that you want to check out as soon as possible. The whole first part is quickly recapped here so you don’t even need to watch that one and can jump right into this part without any issue. That said, I would recommend watching both of course to get those extra RWBY sales and speed up the production of volume 10. We need that in order to keep on moving forward. And if you somehow haven’t watched RWBY yet and are coming in from the Justice League side, get ready for the greatest show to binge of all time!

Overall 8/10

The Night Strangler Review

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It’s time for the next film in the Night series. The titles are so similar I imagine it’s probably easy to mix this up with the last one and the film itself is fairly similar so I guess that tracks. It beats the first film but I still wouldn’t call it anything super solid. It’s really going through the motions here.

The film starts with Kolchak getting a job once more as a reporter and his boss is even the same. They may be in a different state but the job is the same. It’s time to crack the case on a mass murder mystery of some mysterious assailant strangling multiple women. This guy is only going after dancers which is rather odd and what’s also strange is the way he is doing it. Some of their blood is being drained. Kolchak has vampire experience but this seems like something else. Unfortunately the only way to solve this case will be to get past his boss and the cops. Can Kolchak pull this off?

I don’t know why Tony rehired Kolchak just to go through all of the usual yelling again though. I know they are kind of sort of friends but they basically spend the whole film yelling at each other. Kolchak will find some kind of evidence to which Tony will just shrug and say they can’t use it. They’ll yell and Kolchak will find more evidence but now it’s getting them too deep so Tony will say no. You just can’t win here and part of the problem here is that of course the whole thing is being covered up and Tony is basically just a lackey at this point so naturally he’s not going to do anything to try and fix that. That’s just not how he handles his business.

So naturally I don’t really care for Tony. All he does is obstruct justice the whole time so he can keep his job and by doing so he is indirectly helping the Strangler. The same has to be said for corporate and the cops here since none of them want to allow Kolchak to help. They are content to keep spinning their wheels without any progress. There was only one cop who was really solid because he actually read the reports and even caught some stuff that Kolchak missed. He was still wrong in the end but at least the guy did his research which is a big thing. So when he disagreed I couldn’t fault him for it because he made a rational argument for his side.

I’ll give the researcher Berry some props because he’s actually helpful here. It’s rare that anyone really helps Kolchak out so that was definitely appreciated. Louise also helps out in the end by acting as the bait although the plan was super risky. It could have easily gone downhill since Kolchak got delayed himself and lost her for a few minutes. The cops ironically helped by trying to sabotage him once again as it could have gotten ugly afterwards.

Kolchak may not be perfect but he’s still the best character here. He gets a new job and immediately he’s bribing people and finding out a lot of info that the others didn’t know. He does take his job very seriously and no matter how many times he is suppressed or threatened, he just keeps on going. Kolchak actually does want to save people after all and deliver the news. He also does really well in the yelling matches even if he never actually wins.

I’ll give the film credit for aggressively referencing the first film quite a number of times as well. When you’ve encountered a real life vampire I would expect that to be mentioned quite a bit. Of course the rest of the world doesn’t know this and would likely never believe it but for Kolchak that was a pretty big deal after all. He just can’t escape the supernatural as this villain is basically a real life zombie. That are some technicalities you could mention but that’s basically what is going on here.

The villain strikes every 21 years and only for 18 days. So that’s a silver lining since the victims will be reduced compared to the average serial killer but it also means there is a fine time limit to catching him. You sort of wonder what the villain does during those 21 years. I figure with his vitality restored he’s just wandering the city somewhere but it’s hard to say. Also it’s nice to see Kolchak doing some more actual fighting in this one even if he does get destroyed. He basically resorts to hiding in the second half.

Like in the first film I appreciated how we got an actual fight here with the cops all trying to take down the villain. It doesn’t go any better for them here than in the first film but it’s a nice change of pace compared to always arriving too late to do anything. If you lose a fight that at least means you made it in time for one. Even then I’m always skeptical at how they all get overpowered. Can’t any of them fight at least a little bit? Even if the guy is stronger enough people should be able to hold him down through sheer weight but they don’t use enough teamwork.

The film does have some issues of including random dancing scenes that don’t add anything to the movie though. It’s established that the villain is going after dancers so we get it, you don’t have to play the whole choreography. Also you’d think security would be up after the first murders yet this guy is still able to walk right into the dressing room and murder another one. I’d definitely be suing the shop and the state if I was the family.

Overall, The Night Strangler is reasonably entertaining. It’s not really anything more than that but that’s still enough considering the fairly short runtime. There’s a lot of murders going on but they’re not dragged out too much. I don’t really see myself rewatching this film at any point but I had a decent time. If you really like mystery titles then you should check it out but if not then you’re really not missing much. There are enough great mystery titles where you wouldn’t really need to go and check this one out unless you really need too.

Overall 5/10

Final Destination 2 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I’ll admit that the poster for this film really goes hard. That said, there’s still not really a lot to this series and in many ways it’s just retreading ground from the first title. The heroes have made Death mad and now he is going to systematically take them out one at a time. What can some humans do against a being who transcends dimensions? Well they will need some teamwork if they want to at least try and delay the inevitable.

The film starts off with Kimberly heading off with her friends on a big trip. They’re all delinquents who have no respect for the law and seem like terrible influences. They’re ready to do drugs and as much bad stuff as they can but the group perishes in a tragic pile up involving tree logs and a lot of explosions. Kimberly then wakes up in the car right before this happens. She attempts to stop the car early so she won’t be in the pileup and succeeds however her friends still blow up. Instead she managed to save a few strangers and now they are all being targeted by death. Can they possibly survive this malevolent force or are they all doomed?

Well of course we know the answer should be the latter based on the prior film but we do seemingly have a weakness for death now. You can actually end a death cycle by creating new life. Of course it would take a long while to quickly create a baby so they have to find someone who is close to giving birth. The plan is highly risky though because this is just their guess based on vague wording from a guy at the morgue so there is a massive chance that this is all cope from the heroes. Still it gives them something to try for and we get other retroactive rules in place here to shake things up.

The film is at least trying to make this a deeper dynamic which I can respect but it really doesn’t change a whole lot. Death is still going to mess everyone over in different ways as always and that happens right on queue here. Interestingly Clear returns for this film as she survived the first one but I’m not buying it. Basically she is in a padded room so there is in theory nothing that Death could use to destroy her. That is her logic but remember Death can do anything. So when she’s eating her safe yogurt he could still make that get stuck in her chest and she dies. He could have the air vents stop working so she suffocates in there, etc. I choose to believe that the only reason she survived so long is because Death was just toying with her as he does with the rest. He wanted her to feel good just so he could flip that later on.

Perhaps he respected her determination. A lot of explanations work here but yeah nothing is going to stop Death so easily. I would say that on average the murders are a bit more violent here but I’m sure it’s probably debatable. The scene of a guy getting torn apart by flying objects was definitely intense while the explosion deaths aren’t as violent since it’s all fire. I would say the characters are a little better here than in the first one. They may take a while to believe the main heroine but that’s all for valid reasons. You don’t have any of them randomly getting upset at having their lives spared.

It’s probably why taking the old friends out of the equation was such a good move here. They only appeared briefly but were super annoying the whole way through. Even with that, the problem with this film once again is that it feels like there’s just not much point to it. No matter what the heroes do, death will come for them eventually. There isn’t anywhere you can go where you can hope to avoid it. That’s just not happening and so you can choose to hide in a cell and just survive like that as long as you can, or go about your business as normal and eventually die. Either way, your options are fairly limited.

While the body count is higher than in film 1, we got to have more survivors for a longer period as it’s the climax that really started to speed things up. Interestingly the very last scene of the film is played a bit more as a comedic moment rather than a dark twist even though what is happening on screen is pretty sinister. Perhaps that wasn’t the intent but with the crazy music playing it certainly felt like that. A “here we go againnnn” Magic School Bus kind of moment all around.

After a while the real question is, how do you fix this film/series? As it stands it is really just a compilation of people getting murdered in crazy ways as you try to wonder who will be next. The plot itself barely matters as it’s really just a back drop for this. So I think again you make this part comedy but if you really want to make this more of a horror, lets tone down the shock value deaths a bit and give some tangible goals here. Like if you survive for one week then death will let you go and you can await a normal demise. That would give some incentive to the characters for them to survive. It wouldn’t be quite so hopeless at that point.

Overall, Final Destination 2 is mainly concerned with being bigger and more explosive than the first. It certainly succeeds on that but when you get past the fluff there still isn’t a whole lot here. The ending is a bit bizarre but at least it’s a little funny so I get that. I actually think this franchise would be significantly better if it didn’t take itself so seriously. Imagine this film as a dark comedy, I actually think it would work extremely well even if that’s not likely to ever happen. Ah well, lets see how the next film goes. Also I missed having the cops get a really big role in the film. Sure we had the one cop who was helping the heroine out but the first film had the FBI, CIA, and more conspiracy stuff like that. That’s what I want to see, lets just embrace the craziness.

Overall 2/10

I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to end the trilogy of horror in the Summer series. The titles always get pretty interesting with this one but it’s basically just your average horror. Nothing’s really going on beyond the mass murders here and none of the characters are likable. So what you have is just a long journey of watching them all get picked off one by one which doesn’t make for the most engaging experience.

The movie starts off with some teenager drama as Amber and her boyfriend Colby decide to make a long distance relationship work but first they’re going to spend one last July 4th with the crew. They pull off a prank making the whole town think there is some kind of serial killer on the loose but things get a little too close to home when one of them actually dies during the prank. They cover this up and then go their separate ways. Time passes and the next year arrives with Amber meeting up with Colby in town but he didn’t tell her he would be there so it’s sort of like they’ve unofficially broken up. None of the gang even remotely likes each other anymore but they have to band together one last time because the murderer they faked may actually be a real person now. Is it someone trying to expose the murder they had covered up?

From there on it’s time for everyone to start taking massive Ls against the villains. It’s not really surprising that it goes this way either because they were outgunned from the jump. Usually in these films you have to find an excuse to scatter the main characters but that isn’t needed here because of how much they hate each other. They threaten each other more than once and constantly split up. At one point Colby heads off to go drink by himself knowing full well by this point in the movie that the body count was rather large and still not caring about this at all. It’s definitely one of the worst moves you can make.

There is one decision that is even worse though. At one point the teens finally come up with their first reasonable plan. They will all hop in a car together, pick a direction and just keep on driving. The murders seem to be leading up to July 4th which is when they covered up the murder so they just make sure they’re in a different state by then. They can always return later or choose not too, but that should keep them safe right? The film takes great pains to explain that this wouldn’t have worked by the end but ignoring that, this is actually a really good plan.

If you take away the classic trope of the slasher villain being super fast and all knowing, there isn’t really a counter to this plan. Even if he can grab a vehicle he won’t be able to follow them quick enough before they’re past the border. Then at that point as long as they don’t do anything ignorant, they can stay off the grid for a while. Change their names or go far enough away where it won’t matter. The problem of course is that this plan was too good so one of the characters complains that she has to go out and perform in a rock band real quick first.

She knows full well that the villain is going to make his move now since it’ll be July 4th but she is prioritizing the concert? I know scouts will be there and that it’s a big deal but it still makes absolutely no sense so stay. It’s one of those scenes that will definitely have you rolling your eyes the whole time because it just makes no sense. There’s basically no way that anyone would have made that move.

It’s not like these films are really known for their writing or anything but that was still crazy. The film has its share of twists as the whole thing is part mystery after all. The identity of the villain is definitely a game changer but unfortunately it also does make the experience a little more pointless. The film actually gives us a real climax with some action and everything but due to how the plot goes, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. Ultimately you know that there is just no way for the heroes to pull this off.

The twist ending is a classic horror staple and this one has an ending like that but it’s basically the bare minimum. Sort of like the writer shrugging and figuring “welllll they’d probably like to see this ending sooo..here ya go” but there’s no creativity or inspiration here. I suppose you could say that for most of the film but it’s still not a great look. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, this is definitely not a high quality film and what’s more…I’d say it’s definitely a skip straight up.

The film suffers from the usual slasher issues like being overly violent with all of the kills. The film gets as gratuitous as possible. In part that’s probably why every character is written to be super unlikable so you don’t feel as bad for them but that’s not a winning strategy in the slightest. I also think that the culprit should have been someone else. Now that may have made some of the scenes in this movie a little harder to buy but you were probably going to have to stretch some disbelief here anyway. So just knock all of that out in one shot and then you’re in a much better position.

Overall, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is a pretty bad movie. It’s really just hitting all of the beats without adding anything to them. It’s going through the motions in the most robotic way possible. It’ll quickly fade into obscurity as just another slasher film. I’ll give tiny props for actually having the heroes try to fight the villain near the end instead of just running and tripping but there are very few positives to be had here. You just won’t be having a whole lot of fun during this title. I still can’t believe not even one character decided to just drive off and leave town. It’s the easiest solution for 90% of these films which is why most movies actually make an effort to prevent this from being an option. Like there’s no roads or there’s an avalanche or something. This film had no such excuse.

Overall 1/10

The Grudge 3 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. Note that a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to return to The Grudge series. Definitely not one of my favorite horror series to say the least. Part of the problem with this series has always been how overpowered the villain is. Basically you’ve got someone with the powers of a Shonen Jump villain going up against below average mortals who couldn’t throw a punch to save their life and have no mental defenses. At the end of the day that means there is absolutely no hope for anybody here so the whole film is really just there for show.

The movie starts off with a kid trying to explain that he needs someone to break him out of the psychiatric ward because The Grudge has already infiltrated. The staff laugh this off and explain that the place is completely secure so nothing can happen to him. The poor kid’s mangled beyond recognition in the next scene and the doctor tries to find answers but good luck with that. Meanwhile we cut to Lisa who is temporarily staying with her brother Max and his daughter Rose in the house where all of this had gone down. It’s a rather eery place to live but Max figures he can fix the place up really well and eventually turn things around. He’s in the red right now so he will definitely need things to really work out well for him. Unfortunately The Grudge isn’t satisfied yet and starts murdering more people. It’s possible that the only one who can stop her is Naoko, the sister to the original host.

Technically “The Grudge” is more of a supervillain name and it’s for both the girl and the cat who are running around. You could make the case that these are just the physical manifestations of the Grudge since it’s more of a non physical form anyway so I’ll keep saying Grudge for convenience sake. One thing the series does really well is to show just how spooky they are though. Grudge’s movements are very erratic which makes it hard for you to predict her next move. She can be deceptively fast and also has an incredible grip. Basically if she grabs you then it’s all over.

I would say the frustrating part is that absolutely nobody tries to attack her at all. They all just fall down and start crying, hide under the bed, or give their back to the creature. Look, you’re going to die anyway but wouldn’t you at least want to go down with a fight? The film doesn’t even try to make it look like these people are ready to fight back and I think that’s a mistake because it makes no sense. They’re literally on the the edge of defeat getting close to death. If that’s not enough to make you fight back then I don’t know what would be.

Characters consistently make the wrong decisions. Near the end of the film Lisa is trying to escape and just watched someone get butchered in front of her. The next move is to run for it right? Instead she just falls to the ground and extreme plot armor saves her from being the next victim. Everyone should have a fight or flee instinct but for some reason that turned into a just fall down and whimper effect. I just don’t think that would be the case for most people. I would argue almost none of them would have that effect at least even if it’s a few.

Okay so on to the negatives. Wait…were those actually the positives? Yeah we ran out of those a while back. The only real positive here is that the Grudge has an awesome design and I really like the sound effects. They are really scary and this is a film that will always be scary to watch. I would go as far as to say the Grudge may have the scariest design for a horror villain but I would have to think about it. The close runner ups who could also take the title would probably be the main villain of Insidious who has the red mask and the classic Xenomorph.

As always this is a very bloody film with a lot of over the top violence and dark themes. We can never seem to escape the cat dying which is a very unfortunate part of the mythos. It really doesn’t add any benefit to the film so I’d rather skip that. Having a little kid get murdered in the opening scene really sets the tone here but then you also have the Grudge possessing people to stab their friends and make the whole thing more personal. This is a very dark and dreary film from cover to cover that doesn’t exactly make you thrilled to watch it.

As I mentioned earlier, the Grudge has no weaknesses so it’s not like there was ever any hope here. Naoko’s big master plan is basically to transfer the curse onto the little kid by having her drink a bunch of blood. Gross factor aside, this plan makes absolutely no sense to anybody who managed to pay attention to the lore at the beginning. The Grudge came into existence in part because of how Naoko’s sister had to drink the blood and dark essence of every curse. Basically the curses all merged into a super dark influence which took control of her and made her commit all of these deeds.

So drinking that blood would just make a new host but wouldn’t stop the demon. In what world would it destroy the demon? Maybe you can say Naoko was planning to murder the kid after that but why would that have any effect on anything? Her sister died a while back and the curse is still here. So in short, I don’t see any purpose in including Naoko in this film. I don’t think the writers really thought this subplot through because it doesn’t work as a twist about the plan not working when it never had any chance of working in the first place. It doesn’t make any senseeeeee!!

At least the Grudge does give us a classic twist ending which is more inline with what you would expect for this kind of film. It works pretty well and the execution is on point. It doesn’t exactly make you feel any better about the film having any kind of central purpose other than showing people dying in all sorts of ways. At this point there doesn’t seem to be much of a point to these film. They’re just like Halloween or other slasher types where it’s really just about seeing a bunch of deaths. Still, at least in some of those you can pretend that the heroes have a shot and it feels like they do because the villains are a bit more mortal. When the villain’s all powerful with no weaknesses then it takes the bite out of the whole thing.

Overall, The Grudge 3 is a pretty terrible film all around. The heroes never stood a chance and you knew it so you’re really just watching everyone getting bumped off and hoping against hope that there is some kind of twist to save the movie. Inevitably it never comes and so there isn’t really a reason to check this one out except to have a grudge against the film itself. It’s not the kind of film that will be saving the horror genre or anything fancy like that.

Overall 1/10

Son of Lassie Review

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It’s no surprise that I didn’t really like the first Lassie movie. In fact it was pretty awful now that I think about it. It’s just not really my kind of film and the sequel is better but still pretty bad. You have the dog still getting shot and some general animal violence. It isn’t in the same level as the first film of course but why can’t we just have a happy dog film instead? That’s what the people want and most importantly, it’s what I want! Seriously just think about it, this has potential to be as big as Air Bud but instead the film ends up being more of a miss. Also more than the first film it just feels a bit aimless at times.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Laddie, the son of Lassie. This guy is really aggressive and doesn’t play by the rules. This often frustrates the Duke because Laddie messes up the flowers. Laddie’s owner Joe doesn’t really care all that much though because he correctly realizes that Laddie is just having a lot of fun. Well Joe gets drafted into war so he heads out while Laddie is to finally be trained professionally. The owners underestimate him though and Laddie travels across the country to find Joe. Looks like Laddie will be having a spot in this war after all but is it really safe for him?

I wouldn’t say the film has a huge plot beyond that though. A good chunk of the adventure is Laddie running after Joe, being taken back home, then finding him again, etc. It’s really a cycle that just keeps on going over and over again. Sure by the end we actually get to meet the enemies and Laddie gets to prove his stuff but that’s the very end of the film. For the most part it was relatively aimless until then.

Also Joe doesn’t make for a very compelling main character. Everyone’s always insulting him all the time and he typically doesn’t really notice or react. Intentionally not reacting to a diss is absolutely a good skill but the problem is that I’m not sure if he even notices so that’s not a good look there. You really need to be ready for action at all times and the digs aren’t exactly subtle either. So if you don’t recognize that then we have some problems. His lack of confidence is also huge.

He likes this one girl and she basically tells him to confess several times and it takes a lot to force it out of him. The guy’s just way too nervous and always running off. Some guys can be shy sure, but this was a bit much. You’re just cringing the whole time. The whole romance isn’t particularly good but it’s not a big part of the film anyway so I suppose it doesn’t have a huge impact. It’s just part of a bigger problem which is that any scene with Joe is brutal. The guy also had no plan when he was taken at gunpoint in the climax and Laddie had to do all the work.

I always say if it’s life or death what do you have to lose? In this case the villain is walking Joe up a cliff so that he can be shot and fall into the abyss. Joe knows that, the villain knows that, and I know that. So why would you possibly just keep walking up and wait to get shot? Lunge at the guy, go for the gun etc. What’s he gonna do…shoot you? Well that’s going to happen anyway so you might as well take a chance. It’s not like this is a scenario where you only might get shot. The guy made is clear that Joe has to be exterminated so that’s really it. You have to try and fight back while you still can. Definitely a pretty brutal moment for good ole Joe.

Still, like I said the main problem here is that the film can just be rather boring. The story can barely last 40 minutes, let alone the full length of the title. We probably should have focused more on training scenes or maybe even some military battles. You needed more plots or some kind of hook to pull this off. That being said, I was glad that Joe didn’t go with the other guy’s plan to hit Laddie. That would have been absolutely awful so in all of my bashing of the guy, he got that part right.

There’s really not a whole lot to even talk abut with this film in the end. I guess we can say there was a lot of plot armor in nobody being able to stop Laddie from travelling cross country each time. You’d think the characters would learn and keep the leash on each time but Laddie was always a few steps ahead of them. I would have liked the Duke to have appeared more since he’s always the most enjoyable character but he doesn’t do a whole lot here after the intro scenes. Lassie herself also doesn’t have a big role.

Having her step in to save the day would have been a clever way to get some excitement in here. Actually it’ such a great idea that I’m surprised they didn’t do it. Lassie doesn’t have any of the huge pivotal roles you would expect from the old main character appearing in the sequel. It’d be like if Naruto didn’t do much in Boruto or if Goku was slacking off in Super. Lassie should still be the one making a big play now and then even if Laddie is the one with the final moment.

Overall, Son of Lassie is just not a very interesting film. Mix in the animal violence and it was really out of its depth. I think there is probably a great film mixed in there somewhere…but it’s very deep in there so that’s not going to be all that helpful tbh. In the end a dog film should be a fairly upbeat one where the dog isn’t in any danger. Sure that can be boring if handled wrong but it’s all up to the writers. Surely you should be able to make a film that is still really interesting even without that right? If you can’t…well I guess now we’ve got a real problem now don’t we?

Overall 3/10

The Four Musketeers Review

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It’s time for more Musketeers action. I can’t say that I’ve been the biggest fan of this franchise and this film wouldn’t really change my mind. I know the main characters aren’t really heroes so I wouldn’t expect them to always be heroic but they really do the bare minimum in just about everything. I wouldn’t trust them with my groceries let alone my life. I’d say the main issue the film has is just that it can be a bit boring at times. It’s not funny enough to pull off the comedy aspect and the fight scenes aren’t good enough for the action part. What does that leave you with? Well I’m not really sure but not enough to make this a solid flick.

The film picks up immediately where the last one left off. The 3 Musketeers along with their recent addition in the main character and are minding their own business when the main heroine gets kidnapped. D’art meanwhile gets distracted by a new villainess who finds it really easy to seduce him. Basically any lady can accomplish this task though as her own maid gets him as well. The guy has serious commitment issues so unfortunately you can’t trust him at all. The guy is as sad and shallow as they come which is really unfortunate and by the end of the film he has not changed so seriously you don’t want this guy in your corner. He just isn’t that dude. Trust me on this and in a way it hurts the film by extension since you want to have a good lead.

Wait is that the plot? Well okay that’s not all of it. So there’s potentially a big war brewing and in part it’s due to all of the affairs going on and so the Musketeers may have to actually enter the war and cause trouble. They already spend most of their time beating up on their own country’s army though so are these allies that you actually want to have on your side? Something tells me that you would want them to stay far away instead. Both countries seem reasonably corrupt though and the war never gets all that interesting so you won’t really care much.

In a way that is the film’s biggest issue in a nutshell. It’s just extremely boring. You don’t care about any of the characters. In a lot of ways I would say the first film was actually more engaging since you at least had the young hero picking fights with everyone. He was still a rampant cheater so still no someone you could root for but at least there was a lot going on. In this one? Ehhhhhhhhh yeah it’s just not working for me. Seriously I would have to give it a firm thumbs down. The first film also had the interesting fake fight where the heroes were stealing food which was clever.

That said, we do get flashbacks to the first film so you’ll see it there anyway. As a slight positive, the fights can be decent at times when they appear. Mostly they are treated for laughs though so there isn’t a ton of great choreography here. The film is leaning more fully on humor and adventure after all so there just isn’t time for any of that. Okay I do think the cardinal at least makes for an interesting villain. As basically the highest ranking member in the country he can actually sign documents allowing you to do anything. You could straight up murder someone and he can immediately pardon you. It sure is nice to have that level of power right?

I like the verbal battles there. The Cardinal is always on the offensive and as you can probably guess he tends to completely destroy the other Musketeers in the arguments. At the end of the day he’s not a serious fighter or anything but I tend to like the old government villains to an extent. He is a full villain though with the desperate plans he uses to take down the heroes. They aren’t even morally dubious by the way, they’re just villain plans.

The romance in the film is naturally pretty awful with no real loyalty to speak of. Everyone is cheating the whole time so you definitely can’t trust any of them. It really was a tough world out there with everyone after you. Imagine if this film was about the Musketeers having to fend off wave after wave of enemy invaders? Actually have them jump into the war rather than goofing off and watching it from the sidelines. That would have been a massive improvement right away. I’m not surprised that it didn’t happen of course but the film had many moments where things could have turned epic if that’s what the film wanted to do.

Okay one last slight positive for the film. I’ll throw it a little bone here. The acid blade that the villainess used was pretty cool. The effects for it actually weren’t bad and I wouldn’t mind something similar in a modern film. You can see how deadly the acid is by how it melted the wall and that helps to make the fight with the main character a little more balanced since otherwise he should win easily. He’s not the best guy but he is still trained with a blade after all.

Overall, The Four Musketeers isn’t a particularly good film. It’s one that will have you shaking your head the whole time. It’s not like the negatives are super egregious or anything. Sure the film can be boring, the romance is bad, there’s quite a bit of fanservice and the characters are no good but the film isn’t super long and it’s not like there are any big animal violence moments or excessive violence in general. It’s a fairly safe film to check out but I just can’t recommend it because it should have been many times better. I think the world is ready for a good 3 Musketeers film at this point. It’s just got so much potential. I think you really need to play it straight with the action though. You could absolutely make it part comedy but that shouldn’t be done lightly and of course it has to actually be super funny or that will backfire. I think this is a film that just gets worse and worse in hindsight.

Overall 3/10

Final Fantasy III Review

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It’s been a very long time since I completed Final Fantasy II. Finally it was time to get back in there for the third game. This one changes some things up with the mechanics and it’s pretty interesting how each of the first 3 games have had something experimental going on. I wonder if that will keep going with each title or if it’ll eventually settle into what I consider to be the classic RPG type.

The story starts with a vague message about light and darkness as we then cut to the main characters who are about to be tasked with saving the world. We’ve got a fairly varied crew here with a princess who is being a bit of a rebel, a classic hero type, a body guard, and other colorful characters. They have to bring the light back to the world and it turns out there are two worlds around as well. As you go to each land you learn more about the people and the troubles befalling them. The game’s early enough where I wouldn’t say the story is particularly deep but it is definitely there throughout compared to the first two games where often times there wasn’t really much dialogue happening at all.

Additionally a big change is that the main character himself can actually talk here. Trust me that’s a big change from the first two games where he was completely silent. I wouldn’t say that any of the characters particularly stand out though so that will be a job for the 4th game or maybe the installments after that. For now that just hasn’t happened yet and I would say the same is true of the villains. So that’s also part of why you won’t remember the story too clearly by the end either. You’re really here for the gameplay more than anything else so lets jump into that.

This game uses a classic level up system. You fight enemies in turn based combat and get stronger. One big change though is instead of an MP system you have magic divided into levels and none are learned as you level up. You have to buy each spell and then equip into the level slots for each character. Whether the character can actually use the spell will ultimately come down to which class you have equipped. Some classes simply can’t learn any spells and others can learn some but not others.

Aside from leveling up your own level you also level up the class that you have equipped as you go through the game. Everyone starts off with a standard class and then as the game goes on you can go into other ones. Ultimately I would say to leave Standard as soon as possible since it won’t help at all in the end. Also the reason you want to switch sooner than later is each class starts back at level 1 which lowers your attack power by a whole lot. For example if you’re level 70 but with a level 1 class then you’ll be hitting so weak that you may get folded by a level 40 opponent. Your equipment still comes into play as well but it can be tough enough to find strong weapons as it is.

I changed my class several times during the game which isn’t optimal so find your favorite one soon. I recommend one top tier healer class, 2 attacking ones, and then a dark mage. With that squad you will be well equipped to take on just about every challenge. I’m not going to say it is literally unbeatable or anything like that but it will be a very strong squad that is hard to stop. I was finally able to beat the game after getting everyone to level 75 and it still wasn’t what I would call easy so keep that in mind.

The final level is a boss rush of around 10 bosses which is really hard to deal with. You do get healed after 5 of those fights at least so you should plan them out well. In general this is one of my issues with the game though which is that you can only save outside of a dungeon. Some of these dungeons are fairly long so going all the way through one and then dying is rough. I lost to the final boss several times and it would always take around an hour to get back to where I was. It did help inflate the play time to over 40 hours but I think the game could have been a little more user friendly in that respect.

Meanwhile I also think the equipment could be a little less fussy. When you change classes all of your equipment is taken off because different classes accept different things. So often times you would have to go find a shop to get some equipment but most of the time the shop wouldn’t have all of the options. This then takes you back to square 1 which isn’t easy. Mix that in with a lack of a good map and that could make things tricky as well. Some of these issues really just come down to the game’s age but others are just game design choices that I would say did not work particularly well.

The graphics look pretty solid though and the soundtrack is on point. I would say the technical aspects are on point and of course I really can’t complain about the length. Being over 40 hours is really fantastic so I can’t possibly fault that. I don’t think you’re going to get much better than that in any RPG when going through the story since that’s not even counting the post game. There’s definitely a lot to do here so you’re getting a ton of bang for your buck. While it will take you a while to beat the game, there is always a lot of hope due to the nature of a level up system like this. For example if I had still been stuck I could have tried switching classes again, hard grinding to level 80, etc.

Now there is one huge pro tip I would mention now since I didn’t learn about this until the final boss. You can use any kind of spell on all allies at once by pressing the right arrow on your D Pad. Why? Who knows, but it’s a really good hidden feature. I started using the heal on everyone at once which was a massive game changer. I can tell you now that I would not have been able to defeat the final boss without that. Honestly I wonder if I could have beaten him at a lower level if I’d known about it sooner. So yeah this is a tip I recommend you really take to heart.

Overall, Final Fantasy III is a pretty fun game. The gameplay is fun and the overall experience is solid. I had some problems with a few of the gameplay mechanics here and there but in the end you’ll spend dozens of hours here and will be glad that you did. Final Fantasy is always the first title you think of when discussing long RPGs and the length here certainly lives up to it. You have to put in a lot of work to get to the end of the game but it’s all worth it and you will feel a tremendous sense of pride and accomplishment.

Overall 7/10