Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

They Review

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It’s time to look at a horror film from the early 2000s. This one is definitely a very by the books kind of horror film. It throws in all the usual elements like some quick jump scares and spooky visuals. Ultimately it doesn’t do much right though and between the poor characters, lackluster writing, and unimaginative villains; They is a film that you will quickly forget. Even the title doesn’t seem very inspired but it does very quickly give you that horror film kind of vibe so I’ll give the film some credit there.

The film starts with some monsters pulling a kid into there world like something out of Stranger Things. These monsters aren’t all that powerful though and the kid escapes back to the real world. Fast forward almost 20 years later and the monsters show up again. The guy decides to destroy himself to beat the monsters to the punch. He invited Julia over to see this though and now she is scarred for life. Two of the guy’s friends show up (Terry and Sam) and explain that these monsters are here to destroy everyone who has their mark one by one. See, these monsters claim their prey when they’re kids and show up to finish them off once they’re full grown. Julia thinks this is all messed up but eventually is unable to deny this possibility. Is she going to be the next to disappear?

So there are a lot of issues here. One of them is that the monsters don’t get to appear much. Maybe it’s because the director knew they wouldn’t be too fierce looking? They sort of look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. They’re very frail and most only seem to be about the size of a kid. Sometimes they can be a bit larger though so it seems to vary quite rapidly. Without a monster to fight what about our fight scenes? Well, the issue is that there aren’t really any fights because the monsters are too powerful. I mean, they’re not strong enough to drag a grown person down until there’s a bunch of them but since they have unlimited numbers and cannot be defeated it’s ultimately pointless for the humans to fight back.

That’s why it’s always preferable if you have an opponent that you can really fight off. As powerful as Freddy and Jason are, at least you can theoretically get into a fist fight with them and hope for the best. With these guys they’ll overwhelm you with unlimited numbers. Their only weakness is the sun and since they can create large scale blackouts that won’t help much either. I feel like a sequel about them trying to take over the Earth would have had more potential. As it stands, it just seems like nobody has a shot here and that’s a shame.

Julia isn’t a great main character. She starts getting spooked by the monsters real quick but ultimately doesn’t do much about it. At most she plays along with the gang for a bit but still makes a lot of questionable decisions. At the very least I’d say that staying with Paul would have been better than running to an abandoned Subway station late at night. I’m wondering if the gates actually do shut off at that time. In the movie she gets locked in but if the trains are still running that would be odd. I’ll assume the gremlins were causing this as well. So Julia’s pretty standard for horror protagonists but if anything is a little slower on the ball than the others.

Then we have her boyfriend Paul. The guy seems reasonable for the most part but also way too soft. There’s no way he should be letting these two guys crash at his place without paying rent or anything for so long. Particularly since they break his one and only rule of barging into his room. Paul can definitely do a lot better than this. I’ll give him some points for standing by Julia in the end but that’s about all I can do for him. He’s still better than Terry and Sam though. Terry decides that even though she is going to be one of the next to go…she is going to head to a swimming pool where it gets fairly dark out. She should have made sure she was near the exit for when everyone else was leaving.

I just have a problem with her going at all. Now, it’s true that you can’t just live in fear and hide inside all day. I definitely agree with that logic for just about everything in the real world. That said, if a supernatural demon is after you and you know that it’s been bumping off people as soon as the lights go out, why would you head anywhere without a flashlight or something? Why put yourself in a position to be eaten so easily? It just wasn’t smart. Sam isn’t much better. I guess the guy was home but he’s drawing everything in black paint to make the room even darker. Why? It doesn’t make any sense and naturally the monsters close in on him as well. The guy was always pretty grim by nature so maybe he was taking it in stride. To an extent these aren’t massive details because the film assures us that they were doomed to die either way. Still, it would have been nice if they handled things a little better.

Beyond that the film forces in a lot of the typical romance scenes you would expect in a horror title. There’s quite a lot of fanservice here throughout that brings the film down and the scenes don’t actually add anything to the experience. It’s even used for humor once or twice. Once again I have to take a shot at Julia here. When she’s trying to figure out if she has the mark, it’s literally a life or death matter. Wouldn’t she be a bit more thorough? Later on she has a “whoops” kind of moment when she realizes where it is and you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t have noticed this earlier. When it comes to looking for a mark you had better be detailed. The scene where she tries to deactivate the beacon is pretty brutal but that would have been a little more helpful earlier. Either way I bet she was doomed though.

Overall, the whole movie is really just a lesson in futility for the characters. Nothing they do has any real effect and the monsters are just too strong. The film can be fairly violent and dark the whole time. It’s pretty much mandatory that the characters all have some kind of dark element in their background. The character shooting himself was certainly one way to start the film. There’s just not a whole lot of quality to be found here. It really underperforms in every area. At least it does throw in the token twist ending to the film so you should be ready for that. At the very least I feel like all the horror titles gotta end with that because at least it gives you something to remember the film by. Again, I think there could be potential for a sequel where the aliens wage war on Earth even if that might shift genres a bit. It’ll at least be a good way to shake things up. In the meantime I’d advise skipping this horror flick.

Overall 1/10

The Boy with the Striped Pajamas Review

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It’s time to look at an old tragedy film and unfortunately this one did not manage to really get anything right. You get the feeling that it’s not going to be a very good movie early on when you learn that the main characters are Nazi’s. Two of the main characters are kids so the adults are trying to indoctrinate them into this. As you can probably guess the film tends to be quite mean spirited throughout and ultimately by the end of it you’ll feel like the experience was a waste of time. Any message the film was trying to get at was quickly washed away.

So the film starts with Ralf getting a promotion. He is to move closer to one of the concentration camps to oversee the atrocities being committed over there. Ralf is eager to get started and so the whole group moves in where they will now be accompanied by soldiers at all times. His wife Elsa didn’t realize just how close they would be to the farms but that seems to be more of a concern than what is actually taking place. Their children Bruno and Gretel aren’t quite old enough to understand this either although they have begone to be molded into future Nazi’s by their tutor. One day Bruno meets a kid in the camp named Shmuel and decides to be friends. Bruno is convinced that Shmuel is just enjoying a game on the other side even though Shmuel tries to explain what is happening. Can there possibly be a happy ending here?

So there are a ton of issues. One of the more basic ones is that it’s always been very hard for children to hold their own films. They just aren’t interesting enough to work as the lead and that ends up holding them back quite a bit. Bruno is portrayed as being so slow to understand the situation that it gets old pretty quick. At the very least seeing that Shmuel is behind a cage should make things pretty obvious. It’s not like he appeared to be in good condition either so the whole “game” idea didn’t make sense from the jump. Bruno also has enough knowledge of the situation to sell Shmuel out later on in the film.

The betrayal scene was definitely pretty bad as Bruno allowed Shmuel to be beaten for a lie that was entirely Bruno’s fault. Definitely not a good scene. Bruno also watches Ralf stand by as their house attendant was beaten to death for pretty much no reason. It’s a pretty toxic environment he was in and Bruno never put the pieces together. Gretel gets less of a role but she is very easily thrown into full mania over the cause so I wouldn’t say that she looked very good either. It was very easy to convert her.

Naturally when it comes to the adults they are even worse. The kids at least have the excuse of being children so not only is there not much that they could do, but they don’t have all of the information at hand. Ralf and Elsa certainly do. Elsa is portrayed as being a little more sympathetic than Ralf as she is not completely on board with the cause but she does go along with it enough to have gotten to this point. Ralf on the other hand is definitely one of the main villains here as he fully supports everything that’s being done. Part of the problem with having the Nazi’s as the main characters is that there is no way to sympathize with them so no matter what happens you’re left feeling that it is all due to what they have done. They’ve murdered numerous people already and likely even after this event there will be more to come.

Pretty much every other scene is something bad happening to someone. Someone’s being beaten or intimidated at all times. The ending keeps that mean spirited approach as well and you’ll probably understand what is about to happen as soon as the final scene starts to develop. I suppose it at least doesn’t leave much room for a sequel. The plot just never stood a chance from the start. It’s conceivable that you could try to have some kind of a decent film with a Nazi main character who learns the error of his ways and truly converts out of that. It would still have to be handled with the utmost care though and more times than not I would expect the attempt to fail. This film didn’t even try to go for that. The main characters are still Nazi’s by the end even if they are not pleased with what went on. I don’t really expect that to change in the end either. Maybe Elsa will put some distance but I’m not really sure about that.

In general if you’re going to have the main characters be on the villain’s side then there’s one of two ways to handle that. One is to make the villain fairly likable. The way to do that is by having a motive that you can understand and root for the villain to an extent or by having the villain be super charismatic so even while things are going on it’s not a tough watch. The other is to have the main character grow up on the villain’s side but realize it isn’t the right way and revolt. To do that the main character has to be old enough to make a difference though. So having a kid as a main character wasn’t going to work either way.

Overall, Even the name of the film will remind you of Bruno’s odd attempts to escape reality. It’s always tough when a film has no real redeemable qualities but I would have to say that this film fits the bill. There’s never a moment in the film where you will actually be enjoying it and that’s the problem. It tends to drag on for quite a long while and I would highly recommend skipping this film and going for something else instead. You’ve definitely got many better options for titles to check out.

Overall 0/10

The V.I.P.s Review

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It’s time to look at a film with a few different plots all happening at the same time. Usually in a film you have all of the plots come together rather smoothly but in this case they tend to keep some distance from each other. They do overlap to an extent but still remain separate by and large. It’s a pretty fun film. On the whole all of the plots are rather solid although for the main plot it’s hard to say that you’re ever really rooting for the main two.

So lets take this one point by point. All of the main characters are getting ready to board a plane and get out of the area. They all have different reasons for wanting to get on the plane but unfortunately there are a lot of delays. The cast will now have to try and adjust their plans accordingly but a simple delay has ended up inconveniencing a whole lot of people. First up we’ve got Frances who has decided to abandon her husband Paul and escape with a guy named Marc. She doesn’t intend for him to find out yet so she left him a message at home. Ideally she will be long gone before he reads it but the delay has thrown a bit of a wrench into that idea. Paul’s a powerful man so if he finds out in time that will complicate things.

Then you have Max who has figured out a pretty great way to earn a lot of money and then skip out on the taxes. The trick is that he has to be able to leave the country within a certain amount of days or then he will have to pay off the sum. If the plane is delayed overnight then he will be in a real pickle. The actress Gloria is really enjoying this and the two have a lot of back and forth banter the whole time. Next up is Les who is trying to secure a huge business deal. He thought he had a sure thing with one of the buyers, but the guy broke their handshake agreement and has raised the price. Les needs to make a purchase with money he doesn’t have and if he can’t get the money into the bank in time then it’s all over. Completing a deal over the phone is very difficult though. His secretary Mead wants to help but ultimately that doesn’t mean Les will appreciate that.

Then you’ve also got a nice old lady who just so happens to be the Duchess. She isn’t used to flying all that much given how much difficulty she has in boarding the plane. She handles things a lot smoother than the rest of the cast. While everyone else is constantly stressing out and running around in terror, she keeps things in perspective and just makes sure to have a good time. Nobody is going to spoil her vacation that’s for sure. While her plot may not have been as intense as the others, she was a fun character to have around.

So with all of these characters there was quite a lot happening throughout the film. There was rarely any kind of slow moment and so the film keeps your interest rather well. The writing is on point and the character roster had a lot of variety. I wouldn’t say that I had any real problems with the film. Certainly some of the characters may not have been as likable as intended, but this just ends up feeling like a rather complete experience. I’m always up for stories with a lot of different characters.

Back to the top. For the first plot, naturally I didn’t care for Frances deciding to cheat on Paul with Marc. While the film tries to make the case that Frances abandoned Paul because he wasn’t very good at showing affection, it’s not for a lack of trying. From what we see in the film Paul seems like a good guy. It would be something if he turned out to be an antagonist but the guy fights as hard as he can for Frances. It does come across as his having being betrayed out of nowhere and Frances didn’t try to make amends. You’ve also got to consider that Marc has been a player for a while now and even has that reputation. He breaks down and goes back to his gambling habits during the movie as well. Would he have been able to change for Frances? I suppose that’s left up for you to decide but I would have my doubts.

While the film portrays Marc as a nice guy, you have to consider that he was having an affair with a married woman. By default that means he wasn’t actually a good person no matter how he tries to present himself. Paul is the one who really stole the show here. It was a pretty intense plot either way though and certainly got the most screen time. The next plot would be with team Max and it was a fun one. The resolution was a bit iffy though because it doesn’t seem like Gloria actually likes Max. The whole thing seems like it just flew over her head and she has no idea what is going on. Hopefully she is able to get on top of things in time though. Max may act like a crook but the rules he’s using appear to be legitimate loopholes so if anything you’d just have to blame the law on how he can get away with all of the money. He was a fun character to have around. While the plot itself couldn’t match the main one, I did like the constant insults they would throw at each other.

Then you have the plot with Les. He is definitely responsible for getting himself in this mess. You can’t trust a verbal agreement when millions of dollars are on the line. It’s just not the right call and of course he was going to get messed over in the end. That’s just the way it goes in business. I also thought he wasn’t very appreciative of Mead’s efforts. He was very quick to drop her whenever something would happen and the scene at the diner was most telling. Mead was a bit desperate and shouldn’t have been trying for Les since he was taken anyway though so as a whole that romance plot is one you couldn’t really root for just like the main one. I’d consider it to be the weakest of the main plots. It’s not bad though and just like the other plots you can feel how the plane delay really messed things up for him.

Overall, V.I.P.S. is a pretty good film. It’s a pretty fun look at what things are like in first class seating. The characters really only get to all interact at once when they briefly go to the lobby to try and make phone calls. All of them are desperate for the phone but they’re still courteous about it which is nice. If you like films with a good amount of drama then this is a solid one to check out. You’ll also get to see who you’re rooting for here. At one point a character even takes out a gun which makes for a pretty tense scene. With the stakes this high some characters can definitely endure it better than others.

Overall 7/10

Tron Legacy Review

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It’s time to look at the sequel to the original Tron. I remember how impressed I was when I first saw this title. The effects just looked flawless and the film as a whole really had a great high energy feel thrown in. The characters were cool and this really felt like the series was completely on the right track. It’s a shame that the third one is taking so long to come out. Well, the film definitely holds up and is just as great as I remembered it to be. It’s certainly underratted.

The movie starts by explaining that Kevin has vanished and so his son Sam had to grow up without him for a long while. Sam is now the chief for the company but he just doesn’t really see the point. He wastes his days away doing nothing until one day Alan shows up and tells Sam that he received a buzz from Kevin’s pager. Sam heads to the arcade and is blasted into the grid. There he meets up with a program named Clu who rules the Grid with an iron fist. Kevin has been exiled to the wastelands and resides with another program named Quorra. Quorra helps Sam escape and now they must think of a plan to get out of here. The main issue is that the heroes are completely outnumbered here.

Things tend to happen very quickly here which is always nice. There is no dead time here. The heroes are on the clock and have to do what they can. The film shows right away how much the Grid has changed since the first film. The “graphics” have gotten a lot better so the programs now look like people. Time travels differently in the system so it makes sense that everything has been updated. We now have more action scenes on the Lightcycles and disc throwing games. Those are still a lot of fun and I wish we could get more games with that kind of gameplay. It’s one thing I really liked about the Tron Evolution video game back in the day. It’s fun to watch as well and is just a fun way to race.

The hand to hand action scenes are also on point. We see one flashback where Tron was taking on a lot of opponents this way. I do question how he was overpowered so easily with the final opponent though. That guy didn’t seem so skilled. Of course I blame Kevin more since the guy didn’t do anything to help that time. He was okay with just watching the whole time which was definitely no good. In the present we get a lot of action scenes like this as well such as in Zuse’s bar. That was a fun action scene for sure and the mysterious right hand man of Clu always provides some good action.

As I already mentioned the film just looks great as well. The Grid really stands out in every scene it is in. Any scene in the Grid is bound to be a good one and that’s definitely really good if you ask me. Whenever I talk about films needing to have interesting backgrounds to help the story along, this is exactly what I am talking about. Legacy is ahead of its time in many ways to the point where it’s hard to see many other films topping this one. The outfits just hold up so well and everything about the film still feels futuristic even many years later. The writing is also on point here as we have a solid cast of characters.

Sam is the lead this time around and he’s defintiely solid. It’s easy to see why he has decided to goof off nowadays since with his Dad missing he doesn’t see much of a point in anything. It all just happened too suddenly for him. In the Grid he quickly gets caught up to speed and comes up with some plans. I’m glad that he wasn’t as passive as Kevin was with the ideas. Sam just wants to save the day and he’s ready to take some risks to do it. Kevin is a far cry from his older self. The whole battle with Clu just broke him I guess. He’s now quite scared of going back in to fight. He should also be ashamed due to the fact that if he had helped Tron out in the past then none of this would have happened in the first place. His Star Wars esque abilities are fun to see though.

Tron is definitely a great character even if we don’t see him a whole lot. We learn what happened to him since the first film and it makes for a great role. He’s still the definitive character in the series to be sure. I don’t see any of the other characters really coming close to matching him. At the end of the day Tron is just a really impressive character and the best fighter in the series. It’s the reason why he is known as the hero of the grid. Then you have another hero in Quorra. She’s definitely good and has several pivotal moments in the series. Quorra is a lot bolder than Kevin and certainly wants to help out even if she isn’t quite as aggressive as Sam. She makes up for this with her superior fighting abilities though. She certainly gives the villains the work on several occasions even when she is outnumbered. Without her Sam would have definitely been in trouble several times here.

For the villains I’d say that we really have Clu as the main one. He shows up rather quickly and gets involved in the action personally. Right away that’s when I knew he would be a good villain. Good villains aren’t afraid to get into the ring themselves. It’s what separates the truly feared leaders from the guys who just sit in the chair. I was very satisfied with his portrayal and his reason for fighting was also a good one. He saw some flaws in the world and was trying to fix them. At the end of the day isn’t that exactly what you want the program to do? The only miscalculation was that the program would be so effective in its mission but who could have predicted that right?

Then you have Zuse who definitely likes having fun with the case. He’s not the smartest character in the film though. The guy acts like he is intelligent sure, but that’s not really enough when his actions are so weak. When you enter into a deal with the main villain you should always make sure you have some kind of leverage or a backup plan. He had neither but it did make for a cool visual and a fun scene in general. Clu’s right hand man is pretty great. He’s a man of few words but really delivers on the action scenes and gets a great arc/final scene.

Yeah there’s definitely a lot to like here. The soundtrack is also pretty stellar with some 80s type songs spread into the early part of the film as a tribute to the original. In some ways it embraced the era more than the first film did. Don’t expect to see the present timeline much since most of the film takes place in the game. That’s definitely okay with me though. The game is where all of the interesting things are going on so that’s really what I’m interested in seeing and it delivers. I sort of thought the board would have a bigger role or at least the main one who seemed to be leading the company down a corrupt path again. Maybe that’s something for the third film.

Overall, Legacy is definitely a great follow up to the original Tron film. It’s got great action, characters, a solid plot, solid soundtrack, etc. It really manages to get just about everything correct which is definitely good. I highly recommend checking this film out. It takes place far enough after the first film where you don’t need to see it to understand what is going on, but it does help you recognize the various Easter eggs here and there. It was fun to see this one have so many tributes to the first. Well, supposedly the third film is finally coming out sort of soon so I hope it’s able to maintain this level of quality. It’s definitely a tough act to follow.

Overall 8/10

Tron Review

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It’s time to take a look at the original Tron that came out a long while ago. It’s definitely always fun to have a Sci-fi adventure where you fall into a video game. There have been numerous series about this over the years and that’s because there’s just so much potential there. This is a solid film that has aged pretty well. Flynn’s still a great main character and I like the effects/atmosphere.

The movie starts by introducing us to the legendary company ENCOM. It’s led by Dillinger who got to the top by stealing all of Kevin’s ideas and making millions off of them. Unfortunately Kevin was unable to prove that he created them and so he had to settle for running an arcade. Since then Kevin has decided to devote his life to breaking into the system and finding the evidence. His time to shine happens when Alan and Lora pay him a visit to let him know that the Master Control Program is on to him. Kevin decides to try and free Tron but the program is one step ahead of him and launches the hero into the game. Can Kevin get back out of the system or is it too late?

The Grid is definitely a fun world to be stuck in. It may be pretty dangerous but playing through games like the Lightcycle or the disc throwing definitely looks like it would be a lot of fun if you ask me. The world still looks really good even when watching in 2020. The good programs are definitely on the losing side, but at least they have Tron around to help out. He’s easily the most powerful good program out there. He makes for some good banter with Kevin and the third member of their party.

In general Kevin’s just a fun character to have around. I like his complete confidence which you see even in his very first appearance. The guy isn’t even remotely afraid of going up against the MCP and has fun messing with the villain when he first hops onto the computer. Naturally he is a little less powerful once he is in the game but still does his best. The guy is always ready for the next move. Then you have Tron who is very serious the whole time. He’s really just about completing his mission no matter what and he must have been stuck in this game for a long time. They mention that time works differently in the game world so for all we know he’s been here for years or something which is crazy to think about. He may not get as big a role as you might think but he’s definitely very memorable.

Alan’s a good red herring here since you originally feel like he will be one of the main characters then he vanishes after the intro. He was cool while he was around though. Maybe not the most memorable but he was definitely on board with Lora’s plan right away. The film throws in some slight romance in both worlds but neither one really goes anywhere. I do think Yori going with both characters was a bit unneeded though. I don’t really see what the point of those moments were. Probably just to squeeze a bit of romance in.

Dillinger made for a pretty fun villain. I’m always ready for those CEO types. He doesn’t do a whole lot to make himself a memorable villain compared to other similar figures but is still a solid addition to the cast. The Master Control Program is a little less notable. I liked the presence he brought to the film for the most part but it was a little harder for me to take the design seriously. He reminded me a bit of Modok or the Kree intelligence. Giving him a bit of a more compact form to fight with the heroes would have been pretty neat.

One of the big strengths of Tron is how great the cybernetic world is. This is the kind of world you could definitely see yourself getting stuck in and not mind so much. It’s all pretty interesting. The graphics/effects are on point and the soundtrack is good. It’s definitely one of the first big “stuck in a video game” movies out there and handles the genre quite well. Mix that in with quality writing and you’ve definitely got a winning combo here.

Now, if I nitpick a bit here, I have to question why the Master Control Program doesn’t take a more aggressive approach here. It should have been easy for him to stop Tron and friends many times before they got so far away. He controls the sector and every program in it. We saw that when he launched the tanks they were able to deal a lot of damage. Why not make sure that the heroes he blasted were actually dead? Crushing the programs there would have been huge and you’d think he could feel their presence the whole time. I suppose the easy answer to all of this is just plain arrogance though and I suppose you can’t really argue with that. At the end of the day he just thought that nothing the heroes did could really matter and that led to his downfall.

Overall, Tron is definitely a solid film worth checking out. The effects are solid and it has good writing and pacing throughout. The character cast is definitely solid and there’s really a lot to enjoy here. It was a good way to start off the series and of course Legacy would then take it to the next level. Watching both back to back is a good way to really see all the connections and how much the Grid has evolved. The themes of A.I. growing sentient are still pretty interesting since we get closer and closer to A.I. being able to reason. Ideally we won’t all be thrown into the grid though but if that should ever happen just make sure you have your gaming skills on point.

Overall 7/10

Children of the Damned Review

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It’s time to look at a sequel to a film that you would have thought would just end. I suppose there’s always room for a sequel though and I’ll never fault the idea of it, but this movie clearly didn’t have much of a plan. The villains themselves don’t have much of a plan and since the alien angle has been removed the movie is lacking that big punch that it could have had. Throw in some animal violence and I’m afraid that you’re in for a bit of a bumpy ride.

The film starts by reintroducing us to the 6 miracle children. As in the last film they all share a brain and so they all know what each others learns. Then you’ve got the fact that they have advanced hypnosis where they can control a person to do whatever they want with ease. These abilities make them hard to control or defeat. Tom and David are two people who are interested in these children but the situation quickly goes above their paygrade. Members of each embassy have decided that the children are too dangerous and are led by a man named Colin in destroying them. Can Tom and David stop them or will they ultimately decide that perhaps Colin is right and these children are too dangerous to live?

Naturally this film confronts you with the question of if it’s right to destroy these kids. Whether they’re aliens or not, the kids still appear to be children so right off the bat destroying them does not seem to be just. It’s also true that they tend to not strike unless someone attacks first but due to the nature of their powers you can never know if that is correct. When you are mind controlled you have no memory of this happening and so they could have already been manipulating people. Their abilities are effectively impossible to stop so your only bet is to take them down from afar.

I don’t think we needed to be reintroduced to the gang though. Having Tom and David know about the kids beforehand would have been pretty good I’d say. They make for solid main characters though. At first they’re just interested in what’s going on. They have some fun debates with Colin, a man the government has sent to put a stop to this. There is a lot of theorizing going on until eventually everyone is forced to choose a side which even leads to some in-fighting. At the end of the day they don’t handle the situations very well though. From Colin’s side, since he wants to destroy the kids that should be very easy. If you blow up the buildings or snipe from afar then there’s nothing their mental abilities can do. Instead a lot of the time you see them send in guards at close range who are promptly defeated. The worst attempt was likely when they had 3 guys walk up to the main kid and try to attack him. As if that stood a chance of succeeding.

The film could have gone a long way if it actually made the kids likable. Then you’d be able to sympathize with them or something. The problem is that they act like emotionless robots. Additionally they all seem to be evil from the jump, forcing their parents to crash into cars and messing with the dog. Yes, the film had to force in a dog death which did not do it any favors. I don’t see what the point of having the dog in the film was either. It’s not like it changes anything so in the end all it does is give the film another chance to fail. Why were the kids acting like this anyway? I suppose it’s the ole power corrupts case where growing up with invincible telepathy made them turn to the dark side. I could see it I suppose but from the first film the kids seemed evil from the start as if they were being controlled.

It’s why the film should not have gone away from the alien angle. These kids just being ahead of their time makes a whole lot less sense. I suppose aliens could be trolling by evolving people at random but the idea that aliens sent in advance scouts makes a lot more sense. Of course that could still be the case since the humans are just guessing but usually when the guess is presented like this is means that we’re supposed to take it as correct. Too bad, the film could have had a lot more mileage out of the alien idea. Towards the end the characters even ask the kids if they have any kind of plan and they basically shrug and say no. So much for the villains being interesting.

All I can say for the film is that it had some decent characters at least. I enjoyed the banter with the main 3 guys as well as Paul’s guardian who did her best for most of the film. She was effectively held as a hostage for the second half of it though so there wasn’t a whole lot she can do. The scenes of the kids just staring into the screen can get old pretty quickly though. It’s just hard to make a kid look scary at that age so you’re more likely to chuckle than grimace.

Overall, This is definitely not a film that I would recommend. It feels rather aimless for most of its run to the point where you question why the film has come out. What is the message that the film is going for? I suspect you will still be puzzling through that notion at the film concludes. The ending is pretty bad even if it was all part of the kids’ plans. It still makes the characters not look so good and you feel like things never had to escalate to this point. Surely characters with genius level intellect could think of another path or something right? Almost any other plan would have been more effective.

Overall 1/10

The Book of Eli Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at a pretty depressing kind of film from a while back. The Book of Eli is definitely not the kind of film where you can expect the characters to have a good time. The problem is that you won’t either. Between the level of grit and Mad Max vibes the movie gives off from the start this film ends up being pretty terrible very quickly. Literally the first scene of the film involves animal violence and from there you know that things are not going to get much better. Films have a way of tipping their hand early if you know what to look for like the recent Transformers film. As long as you pick up on the key points you won’t be surprised.

So once that scene is over and done with we see Eli get jumped by a bunch of bandits. He murders all of them except for the leader. He is carrying a package and heading somewhere but refuses to let anyone see what is in the package or for anyone to know where he is going. The whole thing has to be done in utmost secrecy after all. The problem is that the world is pretty much ruined and everyone out there is only looking out for himself. There’s one town in particular that has gone really over the edge and it’s ruled by a man named Carnegie. This guy aims to steal a certain book for himself so that he can really establish a chokehold over the world. The problem is that his men can’t read so they can only grab as many books as possible until they find the right one. When Eli shows up Carnegie figures he may have finally found his man. Eli will have to try and escape along with a girl named Solara whose life was going to be in danger in the city anyway so she figured she may as well tag along. Now the journey begins.

The Book of Eli is just a very gritty film all the way through. The animal violence is just the tip of the iceberg although on its own that would still be a very big problem. It’s not like you can just bypass that. You need to already have a lot of good will such as being a 9 star film so you can survive the drop or be a long running show where you build up your points again. For a film like this you need all the stars you can get so it really doesn’t help. Animals definitely don’t survive Eli’s expedition and it’s a true shame.

Eli is a good main character at the end of the film. He learned from his mistakes and how he lost sight of everything along the way. It’s reeeeeally tough to overlook his shaky beginning though. The scene where he lets a lady be dragged off for a fate worse than death and doesn’t life a finger to help is terrible. That’s the kind of action that you can barely even call a mistake because it’s so bad. At that point his safety was worth more than anyone else’s. The worst part is that it probably wouldn’t have even been all that dangerous for him. He is shown to be a very good fighter right off the bat so I’m sure he could have won.

Those are the kinds of dark themes this film thrives on though. Bad things are always happening to the characters and there just isn’t much that they can or want to even do about it. They’re doomed and they know it which just makes the trip worse for them. The town is completely corrupt either way so there is no more hope. Eli wants to bring hope back as his delivery is the only thing that can do it but he sure takes a while to get there. Then you got cannibals to worry about and things like that.

Solara is the main heroine here and she’s not bad I guess. She’s doing her best to survive at this point. You’d think she’d be a little more grateful for Eli telling her to stay back but allowing her to keep a cover story rather than trying to rummage through his things the whole time. She tries to look at the package more than once and you’d think she would have more restraint given the circumstances. I don’t blame her for falling for Eli’s trap at the water boulder though because who’d have thought that the main character would leave her for dead like that.

Make no mistake, if she didn’t escape she would have been dead. Once the villains made it to the cave to get their next batch of water she would not have had a chance. Finally we have the main villain Carnegie who is definitely not impressive. He spends the climax whining and groveling which is definitely not something you really want to see your main villain doing. I mean c’mon now, he has to hold himself with more dignity. He basically squanders his entire empire and there is no coming back from that. He definitely didn’t plan things out very well.

Okay time for the spoilers parts of the film so skip these next 3 paragraphs because they all involve the climax of the film. Technically the film reveals what the package is rather early on but it’s done with some subtlety at first until it becomes completely obvious. You should still pick up on it fairly early on when the main character is in town though. So Eli is traveling with a Bible. We find out that the world has gone to ruin and is basically a Hell on Earth now because the Bible’s have all been burned. Society changed massively after some kind of cataclysmic event and rulers were quick to assume power with bombs. I believe the cataclysmic event was that World War III occurred but I’m not exactly sure if they officially name it. Either way you do get the gist of it though. Everything is blown to smithereens and we don’t have technology anymore for the most part.

So Eli is delivering the Bible somewhere based on a vision God have him. He doesn’t know where the destination is so he just has to keep walking in that direction until he reaches the end. We also find out that Eli is blind so the fact that he is able to fight and maneuver so well is due to God aiding him on the journey the entire way. It was really good to see the Christian themes present themselves here and in such a positive light. I’ll at least give the film credit here because it’s such a rare sight. Especially nowadays you are unlikely to see films acknowledge God in a serious manner.

This does raise further questions on how Eli fell so far from the path but I already spoke on that quite a bit so there’s no need to keep on going there. The film acknowledges the power of the Bible as well as the fact that whenever you read it you will always find something new to learn. It’s why it is easy to see how Eli could keep reading it over and over again because it is the only book in existence that never really has to end. Memorizing it would certainly be quite the feat and impossible without God’s miracle here.

Overall, The Book of Eli is a terrible film that at least has a great twist at the end. It’s not enough where it can save the film because everything else is so poor but at least it looks like the movie was trying to go for a good message at the end. The execution wasn’t quite up to the level it needed to be but I appreciated the attempt. You can definitely make a good movie out of this story, but you just need to tone down how corrupt this world is or at least what we see on screen and get implied. There are many ways to get across that this is a terrible world with no more hope without being so direct. If you handle that well then the rest will follow. So instead of watching this film I’d recommend you check out Yugioh Bonds Beyond Time instead as a film that is also about bringing hope back to a world that is about to lose its future.

Overall 1/10

Draft Day Review

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It’s time to look at an NFL film from a while back. I always like to see films based on Football because it’s such an interesting sport. Watching the live games is already great so a film like this would be sure to land as well. Having the Browns be the main focus also makes sense since they tend to never be doing all that well. This year is the first time they’ve had a winning record in many years as it is. Of course that means you feel like the Browns are doomed no matter what here but at least they’re trying to draft well. Ultimately this is a solid title even if I feel like some plots weren’t really needed.

Draft Day is here and the Browns GM Sonny is being pressured on who to draft. The owner Anthony wants Sonny to pick up the #1 quarterback since he is guaranteed to make a splash. The coach thinks that Sonny should be picking up a running back to help the offensive team really have a balanced attack. Personally Sonny wants a linebacker since he believes that this guy is the best fit for the team but defensive players don’t tend to make big headlines like that. It’s just the way it’s always been and Sonny knows that his job is on the line here. Is there a way he can make this draft a success without getting himself fired?

Naturally the owner has a lot of pull so you can’t blame Sonny for quickly thinking he just needs to go with what his boss says. At the end of the day if the owner wants something it’s going to be pretty hard to stop him if you want to keep your job. The pressure he gets from the coach isn’t nearly as serious. It’s also tough because a fresh quarterback can change everything while a superstar defensive player can only do so much on his own. It’s why quarterbacks tend to make so much money. No single player is a whole team but the quarterback does have his hands on the ball for every offensive play so he has more control than any other player on the field. Additionally this quarterback seemingly has no weaknesses and is considered the best player in the draft.

I’m glad that the film didn’t give us a cop out by making the quarterback turn out to be terrible or anything. We do get some potential weaknesses on and off the field here but the film doesn’t do anything too drastic so there’s still a good debate to be had. The linebacker, running back, and quarterback are all very valid picks to be sure. I also enjoyed all of the banter between the teams. There was a lot of fun back and forth with the Seahawks for example. He definitely manipulated the Browns GM with ease initially although Sonny gets ready to start turning the tables later on. None of the other teams get huge roles although they are certainly present the whole time.

What I could have done without here was mainly the plot with Sonny and his family. In particular he had some issues with his mother and his Ex. This plot didn’t really seem to add much to the film and also hurt Sonny as the main character. While their demands weren’t always the most reasonable, it just makes Sonny a bit less sympathetic when he’s yelling and breaking laptops. He seems like a guy who ultimately balks when there’s a lot of pressure as seen with his opening draft deal which was pretty terrible. The film tries to make this up by showing his greatness later on but the final deal is extremely convenient to the point where it’s not very realistic. Personally I’d say an ideal ending would have just omitted the final part of the deal or nerfed it a bit so there was still some sacrifice while giving an ending that worked out for all of the characters. I think that would have worked out quite nicely.

One character I enjoyed quite a bit was the coach. He definitely disagreed with Sonny at almost literally every turn but I liked his confidence. The guy clearly just wanted to make sure his offense was intact and didn’t like that Sonny’s trade threatened to jeopardize everything. Sonny’s right that he has no obligation to bring the coach in on these decisions but when the decisions are incredibly suspect like that it does make you think that the coach had a point. In a way the film shows the organization as being very split in their decision making which makes a decent amount of sense when you consider how poorly the team tends to handle its new recruits. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot of disagreements within the staff there.

We also have a subplot with Sonny and his secret girlfriend Ali that doesn’t seem to add a whole lot to the film. It’s the kind of romance where you feel like they could have just gone public with it a lot sooner and it wouldn’t have been an issue. As it is it seems like all of the important characters knew that they were together anyway. Sonny also didn’t take Ali’s news at the beginning very well either although interestingly the film mainly starts right as/after the announcement was made rather than having a whole scene devoted to it. I thought that was a good idea.

So what I’m getting at here is that the sports aspect of the film was great but the drama around it wasn’t as solid as it could have been. The sports angle is why I liked the film though and it more than makes up for the rest. The writing is definitely really solid when it’s focused on the main plot. The pacing is nice and tight with a lot happening at all times. Whether you like Football or not I expect you can enjoy this film. Some of the terminology may go over your head but the film at least explains the main parts so you should understand what is going on with the draft.

Overall, Draft Day is a solid film. I don’t think it’ll go down as being the definitive NFL title or anything like that but I thought it was handled well. Draft Day is definitely one of the biggest days for a GM since a lot of important calls are made on that day and they will be remembered for the rest of your career. Make a mistake and people aren’t going to let you forget it even after years have passed. That’s just the way things shake out here and not without due cause. A GM makes a whole lot of money to be able to prepare for days like this so you have to be ready. In that sense Sonny should have had his team prepared a little better than he did at the start but he learned gradually as the film went on. It was also a really nice touch that the coach had been with the Cowboys and won a Super Bowl. Even this film had to remember to acknowledge that the Cowboys are always winners!

Overall 7/10

Krull Review

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It’s time to look at a classic Sci-Fi film from a while back. This one is definitely going for that classic Lord of the Rings feel with a bit of Star Wars thrown in. That said, aside from the energy blasts and a quick scene at the beginning it’s harder to see that. LOTR is first and foremost the angle this one is going for. I wouldn’t say it did a poor job. It destroys the Lord of the Rings with ease of course. The film may be a tad slow at times but it’s an adventure that will keep your interest and the climax makes for some good action scenes.

The film starts by introducing us to the Slayers. A group of monsters that have taken over many planets over the years. There is seemingly no way to stop them and so they have quickly become one of the driving forces of the universe. They are led by the Beast. On one planet two kingdoms decide to unite so that they will be ready. Princess Lyssa marries Prince Colwyn so they can usher in a new era. Unfortunately the Slayers couldn’t care less so they break in and kidnap Lyssa anyway. Both kingdoms were burned to the ground and just about everyone was murdered. Colwyn swears to find Lyssa. Fortunately an old man named Ynyr agrees to help him. The two will find more allies along the way and Colwyn is given an ancient weapon to use to slay the Beast. Will this be enough to turn the odds?

It’s interesting that for the magical weapon they went for more of a Shruiken Star/Chakram disc as opposed to a sword. It’s certainly more original so I’ll give the film props there. It’s also just a handy weapon in general since you can throw it and then it will return to you like a boomerang. You can’t go wrong there right? He’s told not to use it until the end of the film though so you don’t get to see it in action for very long. It does look good at the end although I got nervous when it was stuck on the villain. That would have been rather anticlimactic but it’s just that Colwyn couldn’t draw out its full power.

The scenery and effects are fairly good. The forest and deserts here aren’t exactly my ideal setting but the film did a solid job with what it had. There was definitely a good amount of effort behind this one and that’s the important thing. The fight scenes are pretty solid and I like the energy blasts. The kingdom’s soldiers had solid armor but they all looked terrible so I guess it was just for show. The villains turning into mini xenomorphs when their masks break was definitely disturbing. It makes you wonder exactly how they are able to operate the larger bodies. Must be high tech. It can make for a bit of a violent look at times but that’s mainly just the color of the creatures themselves.

As a lead Colwyn is pretty good I’d say. For starters he easily resisted the charms of an enemy agent. Even entertaining the notion would have been a death cry to his character since the entire point of this journey is to arrive and save Lyssa. Messing that up would have had me shaking my head to be sure. You just can’t make that kind of mistake and he didn’t. Colwyn turned out to be a solid leader and he was resolute in his quest. He may not stand out a whole lot as someone you’ll think about in the future but he did everything he needed to do.

Then we have Lyssa. She certainly wasn’t very intimidated by the Beast with how she kept talking back to him so she gets points there. She doesn’t get a whole lot to do here as part of the fact that she is captured for most of the film. It’s regrettable but expected. If we ever get a sequel hopefully she could fight more. The Beast himself is definitely a lot like Sauron with the huge eye. I can’t say I was a fan. His whole goal is basically to marry Lyssa aside from ruling the universe. Why? It’s a goal that just seems pretty much out of the blue and it’s always hard for me to get on board with a villain like that. A villain’s motivation is a huge indicator of if I will like the character and this didn’t work out.

Then we have some supporting characters like the shape shifter Ergo. He’s a fun enough character. He’s going for Usopp vibes where he talks a really good game but at the end of the day he is scared of just about everything and isn’t all that strong. By the end he has his big moments of course but we’ll see if you can take it seriously by then. Then there’s Rell who is a peaceful Cyclops. I wasn’t a big fan of his character. He doesn’t really add much to the story beyond having another ally at the ready.

What fantasy epic would be complete without the old man who serves as a mentor to the lead right? Ynyr is here to provide guidance and even gets his own subplot where he has to infiltrate a spider lair. Unfortunately I can’t really give him a lot of props here. The subplot was one of the weakest parts of the film which is the first mistake. There didn’t seem to be much of a point to having this in at all. We learn that his son was murdered and it involves the master of the lair. The whole thing gets pretty intense but it has nothing to do with anything. Why not just have the first fortune teller find out the truth? I felt bad for that guy, left defenseless by the rest of the group and picked off with ease. The heroes aren’t always the best about staying together and often times that was Ynyr’s fault since he would ask to be left alone. Unity is when the heroes are strongest so they shouldn’t split up so easily.

The soundtrack has that Star Wars feel to be sure. There are a lot of happy themes that play throughout that should fill you with hope and energy. They’re all rather solid. Perhaps not the most original themes out there but they still do the job and give you the correct ambiance. At the end of the day this is a fairly light fantasy adventure even if by the end the body count is rather high. The climax itself is very serious and I got a Rogue One feel from it. When you go on a mission like this I suppose you never expect everyone to live through it. That’s just not going to happen when the villain is of this magnitude.

Overall, Krull works rather well. Old school fantasy adventures usually aren’t my thing so adding in the brief Sci-Fi bits definitely helped out. The Slayers have solid designs even if I would have preferred that they kept them and not turn into little lizard things when they blow up. At times the film may go through a few slow patches here and there but for the most part it’s pretty consistent. If someone tells you to watch LOTR or the Hobbit, tell them to watch this one instead. It’s not very well known but a lot of effort definitely went into it initially.

Overall 7/10

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey Review

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It’s time for the big sequel to the original Bill & Ted! These two definitely went on quite the adventure the first time around. I enjoyed the film well enough and this one throws in androids which is always cool. I would say this one even improved upon the first. It does have some scenes where the film can get a little slow but for the most part the pacing is solid and the androids made for pretty intimidating opponents. They’re definitely not people that the heroes can really hope to defeat straight up.

This movie opens up in a similar state to the first. Bill & Ted still can’t play music at all and that’s not good since the big battle of the bands is coming up. They think about using time to help them out with this but in the meantime finally propose to the princesses from the first film. Everything is going well until alternate versions of themselves appear. They think it’s the future selves here to help them out once again but instead they are actually evil doppelgangers sent from the future to foil Bill & Ted’s career. These robots murder Bill & Ted and proceed to accomplish their goals. The heroes last chance to save the day is to quickly find Death so they can come back to life and then interfere before the Battle of the Bands performance is over or there will be no hope left. It’s a tough journey but someone’s got to do it.

I definitely enjoyed having some evil androids in the mix. Having villains like that can definitely take things to the next level if you ask me. Think about it, these guys have built in super strength and they easily crush the leads in their first battle. I’ll admit that the loss is a bit embarrassing if anything but it’s not like you could have expected anything less. It was still the most hype set of scenes in the film. Unfortunately there isn’t a real rematch later on so you need to enjoy the initial struggle.

The adventures through the characters’ personal hells were fun too though. You’ve even got a giant bunny that is around to mess everyone up. The scenes could get pretty tense. Death himself is probably the least intimidating member by default. The guy just wants some friends deep down. The scenes of the main characters playing him in a bunch of board games was definitely fun. Especially since I had even played a bunch of them back in the day. Bill & Ted are definitely really good at playing these which isn’t too surprising. I bet they played these games quite a lot over the years, probably instead of studying or anything like that.

As for Ted and Bill as characters, they’re pretty much unchanged from the first film so you either like them or you don’t. I appreciated the air guitar gimmick they have where they use that whenever something cool happens. Part of what helps them succeed as characters is their comedy gags aren’t even all that annoying. The characters are pretty fun and just work out rather well if you ask me. The cast is fairly small but they work well. The princesses don’t look great but they don’t really have a lot of screen time. There’s also a super smart inventor from another world who was passable at best but these side characters don’t really take away from the main adventure or anything like that.

There’s also a big twist that happens near the end of the film which is pretty fun. It just goes to show that when time travel is in play you have to expect the unexpected. Anything can happen at any given moment which is part of the point of this method. The film’s pacing is pretty solid so it’ll be over before you know it. Ultimately if I had to really say why it beat the first film, I’d say that the evil Androids and the film mainly taking place in the present are what did it. I love time travel but of course I prefer going to the future than the past. There’s just a lot more to explore when you’re going forward.

Overall, Bill & Ted manage to improve upon what made the first film solid. This is one I could definitely recommend to anyone who enjoys comedies. The writing is on point and we’ll see if the third film can keep it up. I don’t see why not, the trailer for it certainly looks pretty solid to me. The end of the big saga at long last. At the end of the day it’s still almost frightening how the future society is doomed to be modeled after these characters. I mean, there are far worse people you could pick to represent the planet but also much better ones as well. At least the clothing seems to have gone the LazyTown route in the future so fashion is on an upwards trend.

Overall 7/10