Category Archives: Reviews

Bram Stoker’s Dracula Review

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Uh oh it’s time for another Dracula film. By now you know that most of these Dracula movies are pretty bad. I think part of the problem is that there just isn’t a whole lot that you can do with this vampire. Blood sucking will always be annoying at best and rather gross at worst. Then mix that in with the main characters being generally inept and you aren’t going to be in for a good time. By now the story is also rather stale so yeah it loses on all fronts.

The film starts with Jonathan heading over to meet Dracula on some real estate business as usual. He ignores all of the red flags because his family really needs the money. Unfortunately this proves to be a fatal error as he is attacked by Dracula’s vampire wives. Unlike other Dracula incarnations who command respect, he has to actually physically stop them here since they took a bit to actually listen to his orders. They get their win shortly afterwards but not before Dracula heads out to take down Jonathan’s fiancé as well as her friend. Can anybody stop this guy?

Of course not! What do you think this is??? I mean sure he’ll be taken down eventually but not before he causes a lot of chaos. That’s always the annoying thing about these films. You have to slowly watch him do some blood draining and take the heroes down before anybody is actually able to stop him. That’s where it just gets annoying the whole time and the scenes take forever. The film also squeezes in some fanservice here. Lets just say that the scene is played up quite a bit and Dracula is doing some unnecessary stuff during the biting.

There are no coincidences here and so the film is going extra hard in making everyone look bad. I would say even among Dracula movies this one is particularly weak. There is really no reason to watch it. The movie gets excessively violent, the fanservice is poor, and there are no great characters. Even Dracula as I mentioned doesn’t get the usual amount of respect you would think. He doesn’t look very imposing, if anything he seems confused at times. You feel like the heroes could take him down if they would move a bit quicker.

There’s at least one scene where Van Helsing has the cross at the ready but throws it away so Dracula gets the upper hand. Yeah he had a hostage at the ready but that’s when you charge forward. Naturally Dracula continues going about his business once the cross is away so the heroes earned nothing there. It’s why the hostage dilemma can be difficult of course since it is often a lose-lose situation but it was particularly annoying here.

Jonathan is particularly awful though. Early on he has the chance to destroy Dracula when he goes up to the coffin but he hesitates for some bizarre reason which gives the henchman enough time to take him out. Next time you have the lord of darkness in your sights you really need to finish the job. Like what are you even doing by that point? You have to lock in and take care of business. It’s the only way forward.

There’s not much to say about Lucy and Mina here. They basically exist to get wrecked by Dracula the whole time as they can’t muster up any willpower. Arthur is also annoying because of course he falls asleep on the job and is generally unhelpful until the end. He may have some enthusiasm but he is lacking in overall skills and ability which are just as important. Without those he ends up just being lost in the grand scheme of things which isn’t helpful to anyone.

Van Helsing at least knows what he is doing. Again he doesn’t always handle the situation well but I give him some points for the attempts. Without him the heroes wouldn’t be doing much of anything. He’s just going through the motions for the most part though, I prefer the adaptions where he is a little crazier and willing to go to extreme method to stop Dracula. Lets see this guy cut loose and everything you know? That would be way better.

Not that there was ever any chance for this film to be good though. Lets just face it, it was always going to be a pretty bad movie and there’s no real way to avoid that. It’s not impossible to make a good Dracula movie, in fact it’s been done a few times. You have to try really hard though because you are starting at a disadvantage and I didn’t feel that the film did a particularly good job here. There are also so many Dracula films that I feel as the writer you need to at least try and differentiate yourself a bit. This one didn’t really do that at all.

At least the film’s not super long so I can say that about it. Is that really the only positive? Well…yeah. I mean what other good things are there to say about this one? The characters are annoying and Dracula doesn’t make for a good villains. All of the characters are supremely annoying so you are just shaking your head the whole time. Dracula also needs a better motivation. He’s basically draining all of these girls because he wants romance or just enjoys the power? One of them reminds him of his wife but he must not have loved her a ton if he’s rebounding like this. He comes across as a desperate guy who isn’t even remotely likable and I can’t stress enough how bad that makes him look. That’s one of the worst kinds of motivations that a villain can have.

Overall, This was a pretty bad Dracula movie. It falls into all of the usual issues around a vampire film like this without having any hook to keep you interested. Maybe throw us some big fights showing off Dracula’s super abilities or have some kind of government plot. Maybe have the army try to take him down? Things like that could at least give you something to sink your teeth into instead of effectively watching the same movie again. To be honest it’s unlikely it would give the film many more points but every little bit helps. Definitely avoid this film as much as possible.

Overall 1/10

Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 Review

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The Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm games are some of the greatest titles of all time. The amount of dedication and work that went into these is absolutely crazy. The developers clearly had a lot of passion for the series and it shows in the attention to detail here. You’ve got extra gameplay styles that appear briefly to switch things up even if just for one level and then you’ve got a ton of cinematics and quick time events. It’s been great reliving the Naruto adventures and it also serves as a reminder for why Naruto will always be one of the Big 3.

This game covers the start of Shippuden all the way through the Pain arc which is a pretty impressive amount of content to go through. Each chapter has a big boss battle at the end with full quick time events and everything. You really see Naruto get stronger and improve his craft with every boss battle. While they can’t quite cover everything, a ton of events are covered to the point where you could really play through the game as a newcomer and get what’s going on. I haven’t seen a story this detailed since DBZ Budokai Tenkaichi 3 which is still in the hall of fame for story adaptions like this.

I really enjoy the quick time events because you don’t see those quite as often in games anymore. They help add that cinematic feel to the game and also put your skills to the absolute test. You have to be able to hold your own here or it’s all over. You also get a bonus for doing really well at the quick time events. If you get the maximum star rating then you unlock a little secret cutscene. It’s only a few seconds long but it feels good to get this. It’s like a feather in your cap for really focusing up and doing what had to be done. I felt really good about it at least.

The actual game is fairly long so you should be satisfied with the content. It’s at least 10 hours to complete the story and there is a post game/many side missions to complete as well. Throw in the trophy hunting and you will be busy here for a very long time. There’s a good amount of replay value and the Platinum is very achieveable so it gives you something to really work for. Then of course there is the fact that this is a fighting game so you can have fun playing against other opponents for hours and hours as long as you want. There is no real reason to stop after all. Each battle is unique and the gameplay system is a lot of fun.

I didn’t talk much about that but this is your classic 3D combat style. It goes into more detail than other fighting games though. Each character has up to 4 different normal combo based on which way you hold the control stick. Then you have all of their Ninjutsu, some can use aerial ninjutsu and of course you have the final smashes as well. They’re all very cinematic while not taking too much time away from the gameplay. You also have your awakening mode and of course a lot of ways to use shuriken and other projectiles to your advantage.

Yeah the gameplay holds up exceptionally well here. I also can’t forget to talk about the graphics which are excellent. The fact that it looks better than a PS5 game like Jujutsu Kaisen says a lot. The character models are on point and so this helps to enhance the fights that you are seeing in the cutscenes. A lot of the time it’s like you are watching a movie here. Then you also have the futile battles like Jiraiya fighting against all of the Pains and the gameplay intentionally makes you helpless there. I thought that was a really good way to handle that.

So if you’re a long time Naruto fan then you will get an extra kick out of the game but any non fan can see the dedication as well. The soundtrack is also really good and there is a lot of variety here from the various level themes, stage themes, etc. Every aspect of the game is absolutely exceptional. With the game being this good you may expect this to be a super long review but in a way that’s why it’s short. I feel like it’s easier to go on and on when a game is bad but when it’s excellent there are only so many ways to say that it’s amazing you know?

Like after a while it would almost be like I’m talking in circles. The character cast is super large, there are a ton of stages, a ton of content, etc. The quality of life features are great, the only thing it is missing is quick travel and that’s a super minor thing in the grand scheme of things. I really can’t come up with any negatives here because the game is so much fun. There’s no way to do it justice without just going in and playing it. You will quickly see how much heart it has. It’s like the anime version of Super Smash Bros with how much is fit into this game. It really is one of the gold standards for video games in general and I can see why the series is so well respected.

Overall, Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 is an absolutely incredible game. It goes the extra mile in every way possible and will be known as one of the definitive Naruto experiences. Of course it has sequels which will likely keep up that same level of quality so I look forward to playing those soon. I’ve even started one of them already so you can tell that the hype got to me. I had to be ready for that marathon! If you don’t own this game yet then you should absolutely change that as soon as possible!

Overall 9/10

Super R-Type Review

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Time for another adventure through the SNES catalogue. This game takes us back into the realm of Sci-Fi which is always a good place to be. It’s a fun game but one where the penalty for death is way too high. Getting sent all the way back to the beginning of the level because you took a hit is crazy. This means you have to go through the whole level without getting tagged and that is a tall order. I’d say that it would quickly cross the line from being fun and challenging to just being annoying very quickly. The rewind feature helps to counter that but otherwise it would be rather rough.

There’s barely a plot here but you get in your ship and start to take the aliens down for the count. The gameplay is fairly basic. It’s an auto scroller 2D game where you keep on going through the level and watch as scores of enemies approach you. You are able to use your machine gun to mow them down and can store up energy for a charge shot. You gain new ways to fire your laser as you collect power ups like energy blasts that fire backwards. These are super handy to have and you even get a little drone that helps you out. Like I mentioned before though, if one attack hits you then you blow up. There are no exceptions here so prepare yourself.

There are 7 levels in the game and each one ends with a big boss. Most of the bosses are true glass cannons. They overwhelm the screen with attacks but a few hits defeats them. I appreciate that at least because it’s super hard to dodge their attacks. If they had a ton of health or something then that would just make the problem even worse. As it is you at least feel like you have a chance. Perhaps not an incredible chance of winning since this game is rather difficult but it’s certainly not impossible. I imagine you will get better at reading the different enemy formations as well and coming up with plans of your own to combat them.

Meanwhile the graphics here are rather sharp. The artstyle really makes the most out of them and the enemy designs are all good. My only problem here is how much the game lags. It lags constantly for all of the latter levels since there are so many enemies on screen and this version of the game can’t handle that. It’s just so noticeable that it’s crazy. It’s not the kind of thing that would lower the score for me or anything like that but I haven’t played a game with this much lag in ages so it was still funny to note. As for the soundtrack, it’s reasonable enough. I won’t be humming any of the tunes or anything like that but it sounds good while you are playing through.

So in a lot of ways it’s really what you would expect in a sci-fi shooter. It’s not doing anything out of the ordinary or smashing records but it is delivering a quality experience on all sides. I do think they put in a good amount of effort for this one and it’s clear that it’s not just some easy cash grab. So I can appreciate that. Make a modern remake of this game with a real cinematic story and I think you’d really be delivering on some great content.

Overall, Super R-Type is a pretty good game that is bogged down by the design choice of having such a harsh penalty for death. Without that then I think this would have been a whole lot better. Still, it is entertaining. They did well on the technical elements and it can go blow for blow with a lot of other games in the genre. I’d say win or lose, it’s a fun game to pick up so I recommend giving it a try. Just go for the person high score of how far you can make it and that’s even a fun way to tackle this as a multiplayer type of game. Once you are able to see how far everyone can go you will be all set.

Overall 6/10

Natsume’s Book of Friends Season 4 Review

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The adventures of Natsume and his protector Nyanko continue in this season as they help some more Yokai now. By this point you either vibe with the season or you don’t which is typically how a long running title goes. I would say it keeps pace with the previous seasons. It’s not my favorite one out of the batch since Reiko doesn’t get to do much but it’s still on the same level. It succeeds in being a calming series as always with a good array of different stories to keep you entertained.

We start off with a fairly important episode right off the bat. Natsume gets overwhelmed by some Yokai and so he ends up getting captured by Matoba. Matoba takes the chance to try and recruit Natsume although that doesn’t go well. Both characters mainly get to use this chance to discuss their different ideologies. Natsume wants to protect both humans and Yokai while Matoba wants to exterminate them all. If Matoba ever got the Book of Friends it would be a rather attainable goal since he would immediately have an entire army.

Matoba gets a solid amount of hype here as well since he is quickly able to even take out Nyanko. There’s a decent amount of back and forth here as both characters try to keep their hype but it does feel like Matoba has the edge since he is willing to murder Nyanko while the yokai has to hesitate since Natsume doesn’t like bloodshed. I’m glad to see Matoba because the series could use a serious reoccurring villain like this guy. The only tricky thing is that Natsume himself can’t fight so the series will have to squirm its way around why the guy doesn’t just murder the kid. For now we can believe that since he only wants to murder Yokai, destroying Natsume would go against his creed.

I would say the whole Matoba plot outshines the actual Yokai predicament of the episode. You have Lord Rokka who is being hunted by Matoba and Natsume has to help him out a little bit. It’s not bad or anything but you are really laser focused more on the confrontation of ideals which makes sense. I expect that will always be the case when Matoba or Natori is in the episode since they tend to steal the show.

In fact the next episode had a very tough time matching the opening two. You have this mini Yokai puff ball that threatens Natsume and his house if he doesn’t get some help fast. Ultimately Natsume helps out but these kinds of scenarios do help Matoba’s point quite a bit. There are so many Yokai that are constantly trying to murder humans or at least threaten to do so before they are taken down. At the very least it appears that there are more evil Yokai than good ones and that’s rough. At the end of the day you can’t destroy them all but destroying the evil ones makes sense. They’re practically dead already so I feel like sealing them is worse since you are conscious forever.

After that we go with a more emotional episode. There was once a guy and girl who were very much in love with each other but one day the guy died. A yokai decided to pretend to be the guy so he could talk to the girl for a while and keep her from being lonely. This meant he always had to hide indoors and find an excuse for her not to enter. I have to suspend a ton of disbelief here to be honest but it’s a pretty touching tale. Ultimately he should have been honest from the jump though and is super lucky that she wasn’t bitter about the whole thing. Maybe she suspected the truth early on but it’s hard to say. The ending is solid here and it’s nice to have a story about a good natured Yokai over here. At the end of the day, a romance between a human and a Yokai will never end up working out with how different they are though.

We follow that up with another emotional story. This one deals with Natsume’s past and those tend to be some of the most enjoyable episodes. We see things from the point of view of a girl who used to be around there and saw how strange he was. She sort of wishes she had talked with him a bit more but for the most part she just watched and eventually he left for good to the new school. This got kicked off due to a friend of her friend noticing him on the way back from school or something. There’s some mild danger with the girl almost getting hit by a truck but for the most part this was about the feels.

So after that it makes sense that we dive into a more action packed story segment. Our next 2 part adventure! This time Natsume gets rather sloppy and is stuffed into a bottle. Nyanko is forced to go undercover as Natsume in order to rescue him. This is also Tanuma’s big chance to help. He always wants to contribute but Natsume tends to block him out. Well, Natsume can’t quite do that this time eh? It’s a fun teamup and I also think this is Nyanko at his best. His rude demeanor while in Natsume’s body makes for a lot of great humor. The guy absolutely doesn’t care about keeping up appearances.

It’s certainly rough for Natsume since you know that his reputation will never be the same but I dare say this version of him would be a much more interesting protagonist anyway. I like Natsume but he is way more passive after all. Nyanko just tells it like it is. As for Tanuma, it’s great that he wants to help but I totally get why Natsume keeps him to the side. Without the ability to see Yokai everywhere, he would usually be a liability. It’s only in select circumstances where he can be helpful like when he can temporarily see the monsters.

After that is more of a quiet episode but with an interesting pairing. Nyanko and Nanase are both trapped in a pit which gives them time for some banter and to reflect. Nanase gets some actual character development with a glimpse into her past here. I didn’t talk about her much earlier but she works for Matoba as his main assistant/follower of orts. She is knowledgeable and experienced which makes her a great partner to have. So this was fun, again it’s one of those episodes that isn’t the most action packed with high stakes or anything but it works well.

After that is the next big saga as a 2 part adventure. I’d call it more on the fun side this time though as Natsume has to pretend to be a god and compete in a big competition. It’s going to be difficult to win obviously though because he is up against another god. Really he needs to buy time until they can find the genuine thing but he may have been sealed by an exorcist a while back or worse yet, some yokai think he abandoned them. Natori is also on the case here and while he will watch for now, if the villain wins then Natori will have to exorcise him.

While Natori isn’t quite as intense as Matoba in terms of destroying the Yokai, he’s still more aggressive than Natsume. Natori will destroy any spirit who poses a threat and he makes that clear to Natsume here as well. Humans are ultimately going to be his priority so these episodes have some solid stakes to them. It’s a rare case where there is no danger of the villains winning but innocent Yokai will be destroyed as well if Natsume can’t get to the bottom of this in time. It’s an interesting saga that will keep your attention the whole time.

Finally we have the 3 part finale about Natsume remembering his days as one of his old houses and then having to visit there in the present. Basically his father’s house is going to be torn down and it still has a lot of precious memories to him. He tries to keep a brave face about it but he really wants to visit. This stirs up a bunch of old memories and he also has to meet up with one of his old foster families which is a bit awkward. He left on mainly good terms with them although the kid didn’t like him.

It’s easy to see why since at the time he was unable to hide his ability to see Yokai very well. So to the family it would look like he was yelling at nothing and constantly breaking stuff. He ended up running away from home more than once and a lot of rough stuff happened to him. The Yokai really never let him catch a break and it got extra powerful in the current days as well. It’s too bad that he couldn’t ultimately get along with them a bit better. The actual family really seemed like nice people too. They definitely did the best that they could and ultimately it just wasn’t enough. Hopefully Natsume will visit there again someday and make things better.

It works really well as the finale because it’s a good reminder of how difficult Natsume’s life was back in the day. The episodes mainly take place in the present day where everything is rather calm and happy but that only came after years of struggling. Having Nyanko-sensei there to guard Natsume really makes a world of difference. There are scary Yokai all around every corner and without a bodyguard Natsume would be dead in short order. Yeah he definitely has to keep his guard up at all times but at least now if he makes a mistake there is someone to help him.

It makes Reiko extra impressive in how she stood her ground for so long and even caused Yokai to fear her. I’d still love to see a prequel series about her some day. I’m sure she had her own troubles and we’d probably see those even clearer in a series from her point of view but to everyone else she is someone to be feared and that’s definitely hype. Still the best character in the series by far.

On a technical level the series isn’t too impressive and mainly uses the good writing to get by. The animation is okay. It flows well but it’s not going to be catching your eye or anything like that. The soundtrack is super peaceful which makes sense for the show but I could use some more rock themes. I know the show is about the calm vibes but I don’t think that means the soundtrack and everything has to follow suit. You can absolutely go all out even within those confines.

Overall, Natsume’s Book of Friend continues to be a consistently solid series. It may not be a great title or anything like that but it’s one where you can tune in every week and expect a good product. The seasons always feel familiar and so you can jump between episodes from any season without any real issue. There is not much of an end goal since we don’t know how many more demon names are in the book so this can go on for as long as the author of the manga wants. In the meantime I will be ready to continue following it for each season. As long as you enjoy fun little stories like this then you should have a good time here as well. We will see if Natsume ever does end up completing the book or if ultimately the series will have one of those “The adventure continues” endings.

Overall 6/10

So Long at the Fair Review

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This is one of those films where I have to say that the title is really clever. Right out of the gate when the plot starts you gotta let out a quick chuckle there. It works really well. As for the film itself, I’d say it’s solid. In some ways it’s the kind of film that I do think could have been executed a bit better and has been, but it’s a fun story all the way. It’s filled with some thrills and chills as the mystery intensifies but my main problem is that you aren’t quite as invested in the missing character as you could be.

The film starts with Vicky and her brother Johnny visiting Paris. Vicky is super psyched to be here and wants to try out all of the activities and visit different places. Johnny is bored and irritated the whole time but she talks him into it. He’s more concerned about his work to be honest and he’s not feeling too well. They have a good time and retire for the night but the next day Johnny is gone. In fact his whole room appears to have disappeared and everybody says that he doesn’t even exit. Vicky has walked into some kind of conspiracy but is she ready to handle it?

So I would say that Vicky is the weakest part of the film. I get not being experienced in this kind of situation of course but she has a tendency to faint and panic at every step. The villains outmaneuver her at all points and she doesn’t really stick up for herself. I get not just punching everyone out since this isn’t a 2020s film but I think she could be a little more forceful about the whole thing. Her brother has been vanished after all which means he is likely murdered or about to be. You have to take drastic steps at this point.

She’s a little overly emotional as well. So I’m quite critical of her the whole time. She is going through a rather stressful situation of course so I cut her some slack but yeah it’s a good thing that she gets help from George later. Now this guy does fairly well for himself and is able to take that aggressive position I was hoping for. He’s going on secret missions like he is James Bond and doesn’t take no for an answer. His natural confidence and smooth behavior helps a lot here.

The only dent I would put against him is it wasn’t really necessary to kiss Vicky in the hotel room as a cover. I’d say he took advantage of the situation there and this film didn’t actually need any kind of romance. Lets focus on the suspense and adventure instead! He’s still the MVP of the film though since everyone else was generally unhelpful. I’d also say that the villains got really lucky here that nobody was paying attention and Johnny didn’t talk to many people. Otherwise it would be incredibly difficult to hide such a conspiracy.

It’s not as bad as a film where this happens on a plane since that was just absurd but this goes to similar extremes. I don’t see how so much work was done without anyone noticing especially in a place as busy as Paris. I guess the hotel could be a little dead at times but ehhhh it stretched my disbelief a bit. This kind of plot does usually revolve around a little disbelief of course though and it has less than others so it wasn’t too bad.

Like I said earlier though, one of the only weaknesses here is that you don’t really care about Johnny much. The ending of the film should be really sad and yet you barely care. I feel like the film is more about the thrill of the mystery and finding out what happened whereas in other films you would be equally invested in the final fate of the one who vanished. I’m cool with this though because the chase is most of the film. Trying to connect the dots and see what happened. I also appreciate that Vicky didn’t let herself be gaslit into thinking that he didn’t come along or that he left early though. Now that would have been absolutely crazy.

There aren’t many supporting characters who get involved here. One of them certainly meets a rather explosive end which come to think of it, is also another bit of a stretch. It’s just such a big move. I guess it’s realistic in terms of a villain would do this of course but then the ending should be harsher. You have the main cop saying he understands why the villains did this and all that in a rather somber tone. Someone should remind him that these villains were ruthlessly murdering people. I guess it’s possible that he hasn’t connected the dots yet but yeah the ending should have been tougher there. If the film was longer then I would have liked for it to lean into the conspiracy angle a bit more.

The film is a bit trapped between the movie being rather ambitious but also staying small scale. Like this isn’t a huge gangster battle or some kind of illuminati opponent but at the same time the villains are able to make lots of moves in a short amount of time and do seem to think of everything. They have people tailing Vicky for a while and are also able to bump off people but this ends up not being super widespread. I think it would have been a good idea for the film to have been a little more ambitious.

At the end of the day the writing is good though and that is the foundation of a solid movie. I would have liked a tougher main character but that’s still not going to take away from the film being a solid watch. Particularly considering how old the movie is, I would say that it did quite a lot. I was satisfied here. It may not be as scary as it may have initially appeared but it keeps your attention.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s also a rather short one so it ends right away. This does allow for some really fast pacing which is always nice and it’s probably for the best. A good mystery is limited only by the writer’s imagination so of course this could be stretched to 3 hours but I thought the length fit the movie rather well. There’s only so much you could do with this film before it would start to go in circles or something without more characters and locations. At the end of the day it is a movie that has aged well so I would recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

The Bad News Bears Review

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Whenever you think of the Bad News Bears you figure you’re in for one of the toughest teams on the block. What you don’t realize is that they aren’t delivering bad news…they are the bad news! Now there’s a twist if I’ve ever heard of one right? It’s a comedy film that can be pretty fun at times but ultimately doesn’t quite do enough to get much higher than that. It will keep you entertained but won’t be a film that you’re clamoring to watch again. One playthrough is really enough for this one.

The film starts with Morris being paid to coach a kid’s baseball team. He’s not really interested at all but the money’s good and that’s what counts. He intends to give this the minimum amount of effort so he keeps on drinking all day and generally not being very helpful. What makes him even less interested is that nobody on the team even knows how to play. They are all scrubs and they even lose the first game by over 20 points. Still, the disrespect is just too much and so Morris decides that he’s going to turn this team into a bunch of winners. Is he really doing this for them though…or for himself? That’s the tough question here.

So most of the comedy here is in how bad the team is of course and how over the top Morris is in terms of being a completely inappropriate coach. It tends to work most of the time which is what keeps the film in the green. Morris has a lot of fun facial expressions the whole time and the subtle bits of character humor also work really well. Then when his competitive spirit gets going, you still have fun because of course he doesn’t know how to handle success well. I would say the film tends to ride or die based on how much you enjoy his character.

I’d say a weakness of the film tends to be the ending and any moment where it tries to take itself too seriously. The movie can’t quite handle these moments. For example, at one point Morris and Amanda have a big fight. She wants to hang out with him and at least develop a small bond but he shoots her down. Mainly the problem here is that he’s way too rude and goes too far. From that point on there is no way you can root for him to win or do well as a coach. It’s understandable that he doesn’t want to create any bonds right now but she is a child and he could have handled that a million times better. I just had no respect for him after that scene, he was just awful.

If I was Amanda I probably would have ditched the team after that tbh. Good luck winning without a pitcher! She has all of the leverage in this dynamic and ultimately she still does get injured with how hard she was playing. She’s easily one of the most likable characters here and I felt like things didn’t go great for her. Then you have the rival Kelly who is a delinquent but knows how to play so they let him on the team. He is actually very good and along with Amanda is a huge reason on why they go far. So what do the rest of the teammates do about this? They get upset at him and basically cause a bunch of trouble for no reason.

I don’t think they were justified in any way and come across as a bunch of jerks. I’ve never liked when a bunch of characters turn on someone without even giving the character a chance. At least talk to him and explain why you are upset instead of becoming all passive aggressive and sulking the whole time. That doesn’t help anyone. It’s just blowing a bunch of hot air at that point. Yeah that’s not a good thing to do. So everywhere I look, there are reasons to root against the team.

Then the kicker is the climax as we get the teamwork message. It is worth sacrificing your chance at winning the championship if you can get everyone having fun. The main problem with this kind of message is that most people don’t have any fun when they lose. In fact, if you lose the championship and you are the reason why your team lost, then you’re going to feel absolutely lousy. Morris should have had the weaker kids start early in the first inning so they could play before benching them. I just disagree with the theory on its face.

It’s selfish to sacrifice everything when the championship is something that is so hard to obtain in the first place. Again, the kids weren’t very grateful or anything so maybe it works out anyway but it was still annoying to watch. The whole second half of the film is kind of annoying come to think of it. Even the opponent coach hits a kid and gets off without any real consequences. He’s back to laughing and feeling good about himself by the end because he’s winning and there’s nothing the heroes can do about it. Sure you could say the family leaving are some consequences but I’d rather he have gotten punched or something.

So maybe the most direct way to put this is that the film had a bit of a mean streak to it. It was funny during the early comedic moments of everyone messing up and looking terrible but once the film got serious, it would just go too far. The film needed to have a little more restraint the whole time and personally I would change the ending. Not necessarily to a big win or anything like that but I wouldn’t have made the team effectively throw the match.

Overall, The Bad News Bears brings bad tidings to its viewers by the end. It’s entertaining enough where I could still say that it is a good movie, but certainly not a very good one. I wouldn’t be in a rush to rewatch this film and I have to hope that the sequels stick the landing a bit better. Just lean a bit more into the comedy and I’m sure you could do a lot with a Baseball title like this. I do have a good time with sport films after all and Baseball is the kind of sport that should translate well into a movie with so many characters running around.

Overall 6/10

Wrecking Crew ’98 Review

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It’s time to look at a game that I didn’t even know existed until very recently. The game has an actual story and everything which was cool, although sadly Nintendo didn’t translate the text so we’re missing out on that quality dialogue. Ultimately the gameplay itself is interesting and reasonably fun but it does get hurt by the implementation. I can see why this game was not originally licensed.

The basic plot involves Mario heading back to the Mushroom Kingdom but Bowser has developed something far more sinister than his old Koopa Hotels. Now he has whole towers and is taking over with a lot of corrupt builders. Mario quickly switches out his classic M hat for a construction one and gets to work. Can he really tear these buildings down and defeat Bowser or is this a fool’s errand? There’s only one way to find out.

So the story is fun of course and the art style has aged well for the cutscenes. The graphics within the game are fun too and it’s why a colorful artstyle like this will often beat a more realistic look that gets dated way quicker. You could have a game look like this in 2024 and I wouldn’t bat an eye because it would still be a fun look. Meanwhile the soundtrack is reasonable enough. It doesn’t quite have the popping themes of the mainline Mario games but it works well enough.

Unfortunately the weakness here is the gameplay and as all gamers will know, it can be hard to get around that. Think of this like Tetris. Technically there is another game type that is even more similar but you have blocks raining down from the top of the screen. Your goal is to match sets of 3 or more of the same type. This allows you to summon block to the opponent’s side of the screen. You win by getting their blocks to go past the ceiling and you lose if the same thing happens to you. One main difference this game has compared to other games of the style is you can jump from row to row and use levers to move the blocks across different spaces. It’s an interesting addition but unfortunately it paves the way for the game’s downfall.

Put it this way, the game is just too easy. You can keep on moving the blocks and breaking them as fast as they come down. The opponent can do this as well so even when you’re landing big combos, nobody ends up dying. The first stage took over 20 minutes before the enemy finally gave in and that felt more like a fluke than anything. The difficulty of the game really needs to be ramped up because otherwise the matches are too long. I imagine it would be even worse with a player who really knows what he is doing.

Now, I’m sure I would still lose against an expert player who is able to chain such long combos together than they would exceed my speed of destroying boxes but the single player mode is almost unplayable. It is possible that I have missed something but it seems to be that the only way to really defeat your opponent is to dial in and risk the big combos but it also means that you run the risk of being defeated. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and so you are unlikely to keep on playing til the end.

There’s no real reason to do so when there are better versions of this game out there. Titles with a good sense of balance that let you progress a lot easier. Maybe the platforming elements are what doomed this one even if they made the title stand out more. It’s a shame but that’s just how it goes sometimes. It definitely keeps this game from having a whole lot of replay value.

Overall, At best I can say that with friends this game could be a little entertaining as everyone takes turns poking fun at the game. Look, I wouldn’t say that it’s downright bad either. There’s just no real reason to play it and that’s a really important factor. If you have the Switch Online then you may as well give it a try since the game is free but otherwise there’s no real reason to dive into this one.

Overall 5/10

One Touch of Venus Review

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It’s time for a romance musical film. The latter doesn’t really become an element for a while but you can be sure that the romance is here from the jump. It’s a pretty interesting scenario since it’s sort of like the classic wish fulfillment scenario but with the main character trying his best to get out of it. He looks rather awful in this movie to be honest but there are some decent laughs to be had here. Is it a good movie though?…wellllllllllll I’d probably have to say no on that.

The movie starts off with Savory being really excited to show the world the giant Venus statue that he got. He ordered it a long time ago and put a fortune into obtaining it. Unfortunately the curtain on the display isn’t working so he sends one of his employees over to fix it before the unveiling. This employee’s name is Hatch and he’s not very talented, smart, or reasonable. He also gets drunk extremely easily. So Hatch does some drinking on the job and decides to kiss the statue before fixing the curtain. What he doesn’t realize is that he has just awakened the goddess of love, Venus up from her slumber. Venus is now ready to enjoy life and has fallen in love with Hatch. The problem is that Hatch is super afraid of her and now the boss believes that he has stolen the statue.

Hatch is an annoying character from the jump. First off, he has a girlfriend in Gloria already but the guy keeps her distant because he doesn’t want to get married. If you just started dating then sure it’s probably good to get to know each other for a while before you’re married. Date for a few months or something and then you’re all good. The problem here is that it feels more like Hatch is just scared of commitment and instead of having an honest conversation with Gloria about it, his first instinct is to just run. Not a very responsible or mature thing to do right?

He does the same thing with Venus. He literally faints the first time and then after that he spends most of the film panicking and running around. If he was at least 100% dedicated to Gloria and was just trying to reject Venus then that would be one thing but he still weakens in several instances which just makes him look really bad. Yes, Venus does passively increase the desire of love within everyone she is around but you need to be able to resist those abilities with your willpower. I don’t accept any excuses in this kind of thing. You either stay strong or you don’t, I’m afraid there is no middle ground here.

Savory may be one of the antagonists here but he has a lot more flair than Hatch. When he meets Venus he does his best to impress her to the point of appearing desperate. He is quick to help others out and yeah he’s not exactly a superhero but he seems like a reasonable guy. I know with the Molly subplot he could be a bit oblivious but she wasn’t super direct either so I’d put that on both of them 50/50. You even feel bad for him a bit when Venus is obviously using him by the end. She didn’t need to do all that but of course at the end of the day it’s on him for falling for that.

Molly gets a fairly happy ending though. I was glad that at the end she wasn’t going to throw Hatch under the bus during the big misunderstanding. At the end of the day she is a good person with her own standards. She may have been a bit too cold and cryptic to the point of sabotaging herself for a while there but she was fun to root for. She always had a few cold one liners at the ready to toss around.

Venus is possibly a big antagonist depending on how much control you think she has over her love abilities. If she is pro actively trying to get Gloria and Joe together so she has Hatch then of course that is antagonist behavior. If it’s more passive then that’s not as bad. The film hints to the former though, particularly since she can use her other abilities at will. She is quite powerful in this film as she can really do anything that her heart desires. Quite a fun ability, I think anyone would really agree to that.

She is willing to charm her way to victory and use people though which is always a trait that I dislike in any character. Her overall confidence is fun enough but the manipulation isn’t cool. So yeah I wasn’t rooting for her here since the whole romance wasn’t build upon great circumstances from the start and she could have used her powers for a lot of better purposes. I wasn’t a big fan of Gloria either though since she rebounded with Joe so quickly. Yeah they’re both possibly being influenced and all but you have to fight it.

Gloria has a boyfriend and Joe’s the guy’s friend. These are both massive taboos so you can’t just ignore that when you feel like it. No sirrrrrr, that was not a good move. That whole subplot is pretty sad whenever it shows up on screen so the romance as a whole is lacking like I mentioned. The film is at its best when it’s embracing the craziness of the whole situation. Every time Hatch would break past the cops I was having a of fun there. It’s silly and over the top but it’s charming with no strings attached.

It made for some decent chase scenes. I also generally enjoyed Venus and Hatch running around and having to hide from everyone. Yeah it’s a bit cheesy but again this is what the film should have been like the whole time. It takes itself so seriously despite the outlandish plot and this being a musical. Also, the songs aren’t all that good. None of them stand out at all and that’s my main problem with a lot of old school music like this. They tend to sound the same and aren’t fast paced or action enough to really take the movie to the next level. There aren’t a ton of songs compared to other musicals though so even if you don’t like musicals then you should be okay as long as you enjoy the story.

Overall, One Touch of Venus is an interesting film. It can be a little funny to see Hatch just panicking and fumbling the bag in every instance. He always finds a way to get himself into bigger and bigger trouble by making himself sound crazy. At the same time, it does mean that he can also be a really annoying main character. It’s hard to root for someone who is his own worst enemy. The film doesn’t drag on though and for the most part it is fun. So I’m leaving it at the midway point here. It’s good enough where you won’t be bored or anything while watching it but at the same time it’s not like you can really root for any of the romances and the characters are all mainly annoying.

Overall 5/10

The Time Travelers Review

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It’s time for a movie that’s definitely more on the disappointing side. It’s not like I had massive hopes for it or anything like that but a film about time travel should always be exciting. Instead this one was just more of a let down. A lot of the time there was nothing going on in the movie and it felt like the story was constantly stalling for time. That is absolutely not the right way to make a good impression and so even the ending doesn’t land as well as it should have.

The film starts with a bunch of scientists working on their time device. They want to be able to peer into different time periods but they are using up a lot of energy and have no results. Danny is sent in there to tell them to cut it out but they try one more test. This time it works, only better than they expected. The “window” doesn’t just let them view other times, it actually lets them jump in as well. Now they are all trapped in the future with no way to get home. This is already bad but it turns out that the world is about to end. They will have to rely on the help of other scientists from the future who are rather suspicious.

The story sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is. You’ve got a whole race of brutes running across the planet and then you have “Deviants” who are part brute, part human. Stuff happened along with the mass bombing of the planet that caused people to not develop so much and this really split humanity. There’s a story somewhere in here about rebelling against this tyranny but there’s just no time. We already missed the collapse of modern civilization and these are the last scientists on the planet either way.

The brutes are also surprisingly weak. Guess how the main characters get them to go away…..they throw rocks at them. Yeah this is enough to make them retreat. It really makes no sense no matter how the film tries to spin it. I couldn’t believe how the whole crowd backed off from the main fighters because of this. There are some action scenes once in a while during the movie but never for long. You don’t need this for a time travel movie but at the same time it means that I couldn’t really take the villains all that seriously.

Then we also have some random fanservice near the middle of the movie. The scene has absolutely no point being in here and you could say that about quite a few other scenes. The film takes us through the long process of building and fixing androids. I imagine they will have been doing this for a very long time because these androids are super flimsy. I’d trust Flippy the modern burger A.I. over some of these things. The brutes destroy them with ease. Couldn’t the scientists have taught the robots to throw rocks or something?

Now in part this is a problem with the film being so old but the so called high tech civilization don’t really feel that advanced. They’re also not very reasonable but that’s just human nature so I could roll with that. The only thing I will defend them on is not wanting to alter the plan to leave the planet. They already spent years getting the perfect window set up and it’s reasonable to assume that they would be obliterated by the villains if they stay for much longer. So it sucks for the main scientists but they can’t exactly wait for them.

This could all be very fascinating if you didn’t have to sit through 20 minutes of comedy music while the heroes walk around the base doing nothing. It felt like the script for this film was only around 30 minutes so they really had to stretch this for as long as possible. Not a good idea by any stretch of the imagination. Again, the story itself is very interesting but it was executed in the worst way possible. The film’s biggest error is really that it can just get rather boring at times. That shouldn’t be possible for a time travel film. It should be extremely engaging and fascinating the whole time.

The pacing is just so bad. The film’s not even very long but it sure feels like a lengthy epic as a result of the decisions made here. I was shaking my head the whole time. Lets quickly list the cool concepts the movie had that weren’t explored much at all. 1. The warring factions with the brutes, 2. The poor guy in the middle of this who is shunned by humans and monsters. How did he even break into the ship? 3. The guy who was trigger happy from the future scientists. I felt like he was going to get a much bigger role, etc. There was a ton of meat left on the table for this movie.

The only part of the film that I will give some decent credit for being original is the ending. Sure, it’s something you may have seen before in some way or another but it’s not an option that tends to be picked. So actually seeing this ending was pretty fun and makes a whole lot of sense. It all depends on the rules for time travel that the verse picks but this is one that’s always interesting and works to prevent any kind of a paradox. The ending alone isn’t worth watching the film of course but if you are intrigued, this could help enhance the movie just a little bit.

Overall, The Time Travelers is not a very good film. It spends way too much time on filler moments and not actually advancing the plot. Every time the heroes would take a break to just marvel at the future I would get annoyed. Particularly since none of the stuff was all that impressive either. None of the characters really stand out either and the film’s weak attempt at a romance here falls flat. Yeah you’re really not missing much by skipping this film. It will ultimately stay forgotten.

Overall 4/10

My Blue Heaven Review

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All right it’s time for another retro film as we go way back to 1950 on this one. It’s an old school musical with a whole lot of songs so you don’t have to worry about running out of those. Unfortunately the main character loses a lot of points by the end and the characters definitely don’t always make the right moves.

The movie starts with Kitty and Jack having a big celebration because they are finally having a kid. Everything is looking really good until they are in a car crash and Kitty loses the baby. Now her only option is adoption but the orphanage doesn’t think people in the TV business like Kitty and Jack would make for good parents. They need to find some way to get a kid though but what can they do. What even are their options at this point? One thing’s for sure, if they get too desperate they may end up getting into trouble.

I can see why it would be a bit of a tougher sell for the orphanage on a couple like Kitty and Jack who both work. Especially back in 1950 when this was far less common. It would mean they would need to hire a baby sitter and as we saw later in the film, that’s not always a good option. So the orphanage may have been onto something at least to a small percent although of course the main couple actually was responsible. They just didn’t leave a great first impression.

Where they got a bit too desperate was when they decided to do this behind the books. They went to some shady people at the back of a restaurant and ignored a ton of red flags in order to take the baby. Jack in particular messed up on this one since they had been leaving when his willpower weakened. The film mainly tries to dodge this plot for later on with an easy resolution when that could have really gone sideways.

Jack’s biggest mistake was cheating on Kitty with a younger actress known as Gloria. That whole scene was crazy and completely dooms his character. The fact that he wasn’t even fighting by the end and seemed eager for more before Kitty walked in was just sad. Yeah he got his excuses lined up and we can assume it’s all happily ever after but it’s just unfortunate how he proved all of the friends and neighbors right. They figured he couldn’t be trusted by himself and well, he couldn’t. The guy was practically encouraging Gloria by the end.

So yeah he looks pretty bad throughout. Kitty fares better in the film but has her own share of issues like when she allows the hired help to boss her around. Kitty brought in a nurse for when she has to go to work but she lets this person boss her around during the day to the point where she isn’t allowed to hold her own baby? That makes absolutely no sense, it’s just completely backwards. Yeah that’s not very smart and at least eventually she fired that person.

The main cast is rather small but there are a few supporting characters. The main two important ones would be the other couple who are always around to cause some trouble. Whether it’s by finding shady deals for more babies or throwing a party which doomed the odds for the first try, something is always going on here. They don’t always have a lot of tact and the party going on for so long is part of why the main duo crashes in the first place. Technically this influence ended up being a net negative for the main characters.

One thing that doesn’t really help the film is that none of the music is all that good. It’s a big contrast to the writing where I tend to enjoy older films for how the writing style was but I tend to dislike or be generally indifferent to older style music. Give me concert type films over musicals any day as those tend to have a lot more life to them. At the end of the day this one really could not keep up. I won’t really remember any of the tunes by the next day.

The baby scenes don’t really do anything for me in terms of helping the film or being funny so the film has to try and have a blast around those moments. The dog was nice though and always good to see. Whenever a pet appears in a film without an action context or anything then I can generally be assured that it’s going to enhance the movie. There should be no risk of anything negative happening to the pup after all. I also appreciated the maid who was a fun character. Honestly she got the roughest bit of things because the characters were never really being all that nice to her or embracing he positive energy that she was throwing out. That’s definitely something that they need to work on.

If I could do something differently here, it’s that I would have focused more on the main characters’ radio career. I think those shows have a lot of potential to them, far more than the TV versions. On the radio it’s all audio so no reason to be running around with all these big productions. Instead it’s more about telling a good story and being dramatic. The opening segment about the IRS for example was better than any of the shows that came before it. Don’t introduce Gloria a a character and I think you’ve got a whole lot going on here to be a big success.

Overall, My Blue Heaven is a film that definitely throws a lot at the main characters. Some of the problems are self inflicted while others are really outside of their control. As with most musicals the songs themselves aren’t all that good but the film does have a chipper feel to it the whole time. Jack ultimately cracking and giving in to the dark side keeps this film from going above breaking even, particularly with how easy he was let off. Still, if you want to check out an old school musical then this could be the one that is up your alley. Just don’t expect great characters or anything like that.

Overall 4/10