War of the Gargantuas Review

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It’s time to look at a classic creature feature film. This one is about monsters that I’m not all that familiar with. They look a bit like King Kong but even more humanoid. The movie has a bit of a pacing issue near the end as it feels like they could have shaved some time off, but overall it’s a solid film. You’ve got some good action and the government is surprisingly able to defend themselves pretty well against the monsters. These guys definitely couldn’t go toe to toe with Godzilla, but you can definitely respect their power.

The movie starts off with a sailor getting attacked by a Giant Octopus. He is saved when a monster shows up and begins to do battle with it, but this becomes an “Out of the frying pan and into the fire” scenario as the monster begins attacking the ship. Somehow the sailor survives all of this and heads home to warn everyone else. The cops don’t buy this story for a second, but they become true believers once the monster shows up and starts terrorizing towns. Some believe that Frankenstein has returned, but his creators aren’t so sure. One thing that they do know is this monster must be stopped and stopped pretty soon or everyone will be in trouble. It is weak against sunlight so they will have to weaponize that.

Paul and Akemi are the main characters here. They raised the original Frankenstein who ultimately ended up becoming Sanda. It’s rather interesting that they call him Frankenstein because to me at least the monsters look nothing like that icon. I’m glad the Kaiju ultimately got different names later on. The problem here is that another monster known as Gaira has shown up and he is against the humans. He wants to destroy everyone and is definitely a rather vengeful creature. Akemi wants to protect Sanda but it’s a tough challenge right from the start since he is protecting Gaira. Sanda later realizes that Gaira isn’t on the right side, but it takes a while for that to become apparent.

Akemi is a solid heroine and means well. I’m glad that she sticks by Sanda throughout. She has a more active role than you would suspect. Paul is also pretty solid and does his best to help out, but he isn’t quite as personally invested in the situation. He seems to think of everything as a game with how laid back he is. That could just be his way of dealing with the situation though so that’s not to say that he was completely uncaring about how things were going. He was a good character.

As for the monsters, they weren’t my favorite ones. As I mentioned they look a bit like King Kong, but you could cross that with the Yeti. Together that really makes up the Kaiju pair. There aren’t any real differences between them except that Gaira is evil while Sanda is the heroic one. They are pretty evenly matched and get into a lot of battles. They aren’t extremely durable as the government is able to combat them, but this government was surprisingly high tech. They have a bunch of energy lasers at their disposal and endless rockets. If this was the government going up against Godzilla and the other popular Kaiju maybe they would have had a real shot. Electrifying the water was also a solid plan and they really had Gaira pinned down at that point. It is always a little sad to see the Kaiju on the losing end, but it’s handled well. If anything you’ll just feel especially bad for Sanda at the end.

The writing here is pretty fun and the Dub always makes these Kaiju films even more enjoyable than they would be otherwise. The voice acting is just great. There’s a good blend of humor here while still staying serious when the situation calls for it. The police chief breaking into the room and forcing the guy in a coma to talk was just brilliant. Characters just push themselves through situations and that’s the kind of persistence you need in order to stay alive in these films.

The main cast is really small here, but that’s fine. You’re mainly here for the monsters after all and they appear within the opening 5 minutes. They showed up so fast that I was pretty impressed. Naturally there are still a lot of moments without them, but the humans can hold their own scenes pretty well I must say. There’s also one long song that comes out of nowhere. I can’t say that it was my kind of tune, but I’m still glad she managed to get out of there in one piece. For a second I thought she wasn’t going to make it out in time.

Overall, War of the Gargantuas is a solid film. I admit that it will have less replay value than some of the other Kaiju movies due to its sheer length but it is a good film. I think the best special effect in the film was the Octopus’ glowing eyes. It really made him look fierce and that’s why these Kaiju suits have all aged well. You just can’t beat that level of detail. If you haven’t seen this movie yet then I would recommend changing that as soon as possible. It’s really got everything you could ask for and while it may not ascend to the same heights as Godzilla or Gamera, it’s a great example of what a Kaiju film is. Show this to someone who is getting ready to jump into the genre and needs reassurance that the whole genre isn’t just Godzilla movies.

Overall 7/10

Shaggy vs Weiss

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This is a tribute to Return to Zombie Island. Shaggy is so determined to get away from cases that he is now even getting the rest of the gang to sign a contract so they won’t get into the ring. I dare say that this makes him even worse than usual here since he even forgets about the contract. He’s not ready to fight a seasoned vet like Weiss. She would quickly be able to take care of him with or without her dust crystals. Weiss wins.

Ghostface (Mickey) vs Daisy

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This is a tribute to Scream 2. This time we got a new Ghostface and out of the first three he was certainly the toughest one. That being said, he still wouldn’t last long against Daisy. All Ghostface has going for him is his gun skills and those can only take you so far. Daisy has experience in all sports and has super powers of her own like hearts that can block projectiles. Once she gets up close her hand to hand skills will deliver her a quick victory. Daisy wins.

Ghostface (Roman) vs Ruby Rose

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This is a tribute to Scream 3. This Ghostface definitely wasn’t the toughest one and he wouldn’t last a second against a huntress. Ruby could defeat him in hand to hand combat real quick or she can just fire off a shot. Either way there just isn’t anything that he could hope to do against her. Ruby is on a completely different level in every area. Roman will quickly become a ghost for real. Ruby Rose wins.

Typhlosion vs Epsilon

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Suggested by Anonymous Typhlosion is a really cool Pokemon and I’d consider him to be reasonably underrated. That being said, his offensive capabilities are not nearly enough for him to challenge Epsilon. Epsilon would be able to block most of Typhlosion’s attacks the way he blocked X”s charge shot. In a beam battle Epsilon would also have the edge so overall that just doesn’t bode well for the Pokemon. Epsilon is one of the strongest mavericks of all time though so there is no shame in losing to him. Epsilon wins.

Middy vs Popo

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Suggested by Anonymous Neither one of these guys is exactly known for being a world class fighter. Still, they fight as best they can. Middy hasn’t really shown that he can fight very well so I would definitely give Popo the edge here. The guy does have a hammer and some decent fighting experience. At the very least together with Nana he can climb mountains which isn’t an easy thing to do. He’s got enough upper body strength to really slam into Middy with his hits. Middy wouldn’t need much of a power up to win this fight, but I wonder if he’ll ever appear again. Popo wins.

Lifesaver vs Mecha Godzilla

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Suggested by Anonymous Lifesaver seems like the kind of reploid who could probably fight in a last resort type moment, but we’ve never actually seen him get in the ring so it’s hard to say just how strong he is. As it stands I believe Mecha Godzilla would have no problem clobbering this guy. A few good hits would definitely knock him out of the running and Lifesaver has no moves that would deal any real damage here. Mecha Godzilla wins.

Village of the Damned (1995) Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at the gritty remake of the original film. This one decides to switch out the tense atmosphere for just murdering everybody and misses the entire point of the concept. It’s not as if it’s a great concept from the start, but the original movie had 1000x the quality of this remake. The 1995 film just isn’t very good and I had to give it a full thumbs down in this go-around. Better luck next time I suppose…also I would switch the title as well.

The movie starts off by introducing us to a nice little town. Unfortunately one day everyone abruptly falls asleep and it’s like the whole town was shut down. The government is called in and agent Verner shows up. It turns out that everyone in the village is now about to have a baby so she offers them all a ton of money to keep the babies. These babies have super powers which mainly involve telepathy but also a shared memory so they learn at the same time. They quickly begin bumping everyone off in the village so the government is forced to consider drastic options. Is there any good in these monster children or are they all corrupt from the start?

The main guy here is Alan and his kid is really the leader of the pack. He wants to see the good in the kids, but after they murder his wife he finds himself having a hard time coping. Verner wants him in the thick of things though because he is the only one who can really handle the truth about these babies. It puts him in a pretty tricky spot. He seems to have the most optimism that there could be some good in them despite what happened early on in the movie. He’s a reasonable character and at least he put up some mental defenses. I would have liked him to be more pro-active rather than giving up after his wife was bumped off though. It’s hard to take revenge against kids, but maybe moving out of town or trying to arrest them. Almost anything’s better than just giving up.

Meanwhile the other parents all have their little plots as well. Some go drunk and crazy because they aren’t used to kids being so powerful. Others try to still be normal parents, but this becomes impossible. Ultimately the kids are all evil and want to end humankind anyway so it’s not like it really matters what the people do. They all have to be extra careful though because if they make any kind of mistake or look at the kids in a mean way it’s curtains. The penalty for any kind of action against them is automatically death which is pretty intense. They also make sure to destroy the humans as painfully as possible and punish them multiple times.

This version of the movie is just very dark in this respect. The kids take over the village rather quickly. They’re impossible to defeat at least with how long the people take to act. One such scene is when the government is called in and they all stop to tell the kids to put their hands in the air. What’s the point of doing this when they can just break your mind and make you shoot everyone else? If you’re coming in to eliminate the kids then you shoot right away. If that wasn’t the game plan then you shouldn’t have shown up at all. Coming in half ready just means there will be more victims. It is an excuse to have a long fight between the cops and the army which ultimately doesn’t accomplish much of anything.

The saddest death is probably for Verner. You had a feeling that the kids would get to her eventually but there was a point where you thought she had a chance. After she warned Alan to get out she should have made a beeline for anywhere outside the town. Not leaving immediately is ultimately what cost her. The luckiest characters would definitely be the ones who get hit by the bomb since it’s at least an instant death instead of it being drawn out.

Only one of the kids does not appear to be totally evil and even he waits until the very end of the movie to do anything. I would have liked to have seen him stand up to the other kids a little sooner. Alan does buy him enough time to make a stand so it’s better than nothing. At least Jill and David get a happy ending which is one more happy ending than anyone got in the Omen. This is still a terrible film though. I think part of the issue here is that a lot of violence is committed towards non-combatants.

Over the top violence is bad in any context. I would argue though that there is still a world of difference between someone like the Terminator and a bunch of army fighters getting destroyed than a local school teacher who has nothing to do with anything. A lot of the people who end up dying in this film really had no malicious intentions and just made a mistake along the way. For them to meet such a gruesome end really doesn’t do anything to service the plot and just feels gratuitous. It’s really poor writing that is just an excuse to feature more deaths. This film really relies on shock value at the expense of every other part of the movie.

Overall, I’d recommend staying away from this movie. We’ve got another big 0 here and you can probably see the trend. Films about evil kids are usually just pretty terrible and especially when you make them as gruesome as this film. The murders are really bad here and some of them are even worse than what you’d expect to see in something like Scream. I highly recommend watching the original instead if you want to see this plot, but honestly you could also just skip it entirely. There’s really nothing here that you absolutely need to see and I wouldn’t exactly call it an enjoyable experience either way. What you want is a real film with action scenes like Man of Steel or something.

Overall 0/10

The Omen Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to take a look at the Omen. It’s a fairly well known film but definitely one that falls through the bucket list and ends in the can. It’s one of those movies that’s terrible from start to finish to the point where I subconsciously started 3 sentences in a row with “It’s” and that’s not the way you want to start any review. From the premise you already get a general sense of where this is going and whenever your baby is the Anti-Christ or the Devil you’re in for a tough time.

The film starts off with Robert and Katherine having a baby but supposedly it didn’t make it through the operation. A religious guy shows up and tells Robert he should hide this from his wife and adopt a different baby that they will pretend is his son. There’s so many red flags here I don’t even know where to start. Introducing a kid into your life on the foundation of lies is a terrible way to start. Katherine may never find out but that isn’t even the point. You’ll be lying to her every single day that you withhold this knowledge. Lies of omission are sometimes debated on whether they are lies or not but even getting around that I’m sure he’l be referring to Damien as “their son” many times as the years go by which will be direct lies. It’s also something that Katherine deserves to know and to have made a choice on. The other red flag here is that this supposedly religious guy is telling him to lie. That’s why you always want to take a double look. Just because someone claims to be a person of the faith doesn’t automatically mean that you should trust him/her.

So they take the kid in, but strange things begin to happen. No animal wants to be anywhere near Damien. His nanny also takes her own life which leads to a Ms. Baylock showing up as their new caretaker. Neither Robert or Katherine actually requested her, but somehow they are fine with this and allow her to stay. She defies them at every turn and constantly breaks the rules, but none of them have the courage to stop her. Before long Baylock turns Damien against the parents and by the time they are ready to do anything about it they are too late. So ends this film.

Omen is just a very mean spirited film from start to finish. The evil kid routine is definitely one of the weaker horror plots and I really don’t think you’ll ever be able to turn this into a quality movie. Damien is unlikable from the start and he just gets away with so much. You just want Robert or Katherine to do something about it, but they never do. One such scene is when Katherine tells Robert not to let them destroy her, but he promptly travels to a different country and while he is gone they finish her off. How could he leave her alone when he knows that she is in such danger?

Lets also back up to when Baylock brings a dog to the house when Robert forbade it. That should have been game over. He should have fired her on the spot, but didn’t. She also wanted to be alone with Damien and did not allow the parents to see him. What kind of parents would allow this? She even got a room inside Damien’s room while the parents are down the hall. Nothing about any of this makes any sense and of course she would end up brainwashing him. Robert and Katherine were downright negligent here. I’d also argue that Katherine should have kept her guard up more with Damien running around the house. She also should have flat out told Robert that he threw her off the roof with the hit, but at best she implies this. The characters make terrible decisions throughout the movie which ultimately leads to their reckoning.

Keith is really the only character here who was at least trying to do something. He figured out the supernatural element early on thanks to his photos, but had a hard time convincing anyone of it. By the time he got some actionable intel his fate was sealed. Omen has a lot of destiny themes so ultimately you knew he wasn’t going to get out of this one alive. Robert didn’t really help matters though. Then Baylock makes for a tough villain, but the film gives her way too much influence by having everyone else avoid dealing with her.

The writing here is as terrible as it gets. Nobody makes any logical decisions at any point in the movie. Robert is also super slow on the uptake when the one guy is trying to warn him about the Anti-Christ. It makes sense that he wouldn’t buy into it at first but as things begin to happen you’d want him to piece two and two together. Of course the guy did end up getting blasted by lightning and then impaled so everything was against him. Damien sure has a ton of power considering that he’s just a kid and the same for his followers. The humans don’t really have a chance so what’s the point of this movie?

Overall, Omen has very slow pacing and a terrible plot. This is one of those films with no redeemable qualities. It can get pretty violent, but more importantly it’s just very mean spirited. Nobody gets a happy ending and evil wins in the end. I don’t think even the best of movies can pull this off. You can have a movie where the villain wins in the end like Homura or one where there isn’t really a happy ending for anyone, but if you mix them both then that’s a recipe for disaster. There has to be something in the ending that you can sink your teeth into and salvage, but like this there really isn’t anything. It’s just an unpleasant experience and there is no replay value here. I’d recommend taking a visit down to Popeyes and trying the chicken sandwich instead of watching this movie. Trust me, you’ll feel more hype waiting in line than any scene in this flick.

Overall 0/10

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Volume 14 Review

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It’s time to look at one of the volumes for the main MLP:FIM series. We’re jumping all the way to volume 14 so these issues are actually fairly recent. It’s also cool that the Cutie Mark Crusaders get an issue here since I just got to read their mysteries from the spinoff. It’s definitely a solid volume and while I would give the earlier volume the slight edge, this one brings the same level of quality that you would expect from the series. Without further adieu lets take a look at em.

The first story is a sequel to the episode where Rainbow Dash kept throwing away Pinkie Pie’s pies. Pinkie has decided that she needs Rainbow to learn to love pie. Her method for getting Dash to see the light is to make a bunch of different pie flavors. She figures that Rainbow is bound to love at least one of them and that’ll be her chance. Rainbow doesn’t want to hurt Pinkie’s feelings again, but she really doesn’t like pie. What can she do? It’s tough for Rainbow because half the time she is trying to be nice and that’s why the issues happen here. Rainbow really tries to be a good sport about this, but as always Pinkie uses that as an excuse to go a little too far with her plans. She should have taken the hint that this was no fun for Rainbow.

It’s a pretty fun story and I was definitely on team Dash here. Her idea on how to get the message across to Pinkie was really quite sound. It worked effectively and also wasn’t a mean way to do it. Pinkie’s a little slow on the uptake at times, but it does sink in at the very end and Rainbow did it in a way where they could keep their friendship. It’s a solid story with a really solid resolution.

Next up is the Cutie Mark Crusaders issue. The rich moneybags is bringing his daughter along and she does not have a cutie mark yet. Rarity advises him to have her go to the CMC camp where they help little ponies find their calling. Scootaloo quickly realizes that this pony isn’t having any fun, but Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell are confident that if they do things the way they always have it’ll work out regardless. As a result they also shut down all of Scootaloo’s ideas to make things more exciting. It looks like she will first have to convince her friends to change things up before she can help the other ponies.

I think Sweetie Bell and Apple Bloom are a little out of character here. It’s not like them to just shut down Scootaloo at every turn. It gets to the point where they cut her off and act a little rude. I’m also surprised Scoot didn’t talk back even a little. It’s great that she’s so nice, but if there was ever a time to be a little aggressive then this is it. Ultimately she talks to them and they agree to do her ideas, but not in time for the camp. I suppose there is always next year though. The main plot with moneybags goes pretty well as he isn’t disappointed in his daughter getting a telescope mark. He seems like a very reasonable guy. Certainly the supportive father you would want to have as a young filly.

With the third comic we bring the center stage back to Twilight Sparkle. She is attending an event where the rulers of each species arrive to learn more about each other’s culture. Most of them aren’t used to learning about others and are really just here to brag about themselves. Twilight is still fascinated by all of this, but things get a little dangerous when they find a scroll that says Equestria didn’t pay off the Griffins and must give up half of their land. If Twilight doesn’t find some other material to prove they paid Equestria will be changed forever in a diplomatic incident. This event just got a lot more tense.

When something like this happens you quickly learn who your real friends are. The leader of the griffins is quick to say that he wants half of the land or money with interest enough to bankrupt Equestria. Once they find the scroll he changes his tune, but it’s way too late for that. We saw his true colors quite vividly. The real villain is another member though who is enjoying this quite a lot. It’s not some grand conspiracy like he made the paper up, but he does seize the opportunity. It’s also nice to see the rulers of all the other kingdoms weigh in here. There have definitely been a lot of other species introduced over the years and it’s easy to forget that they have a lot of characters as well. My Little Pony isn’t all about the ponies anymore. I’d like to have seen Celestia stand up for Equestria a little more here, but I suppose she did what she thought was the fairest course of action.

Finally we have the anti sugar club. An old lady shows up and demands that Ponyville bans sugar. She points out all the legitimate safety concerns and the ponies quickly jump on her side. Well, most of them do. A small resistance group including Applejack and Rainbow Dash hide in the barn where they eat as much sugar as they can. Ironically this would quickly lead to everything the old lady warned them about. Twilight points out that sugar in small doses isn’t so bad though. It’s a fun comic, but Ponyville is way to quick to turn on everyone. I can understand them not wanting to have sweets for a while, but why act mean to Mr and Mrs Cake as well as Pinkie Pie? It’s not like they were baking cakes with the intent of harming people. I also thought it was a stretch that Pinkie Pie joined the old lady so quickly.

From the four comics this was the weakest one mainly because the ponies turned on their heroes so quickly. After everything the Mane 6 have done for them you’d expect a little more loyalty. The old lady isn’t necessarily wrong in that sugar is the biggest killer of them all, but you don’t need to ban it. Self control is the important thing here and eating sugar is a choice. If you choose to have a lot of it then that’s just the way the ball bounces. If you ban everything that is bad for you then you’ll run out of things quickly and will embolden the underworld. Pinkie Pie would also be the first to get sick with how many cakes she’s eating. The issue does address that though as Pinkie admits that she has a ton of vegetables off screen. Good to see that she stays healthy.

The art varies a little more compared to the other trades. I’m guessing some issues were done by different artists. It can be a bit more scattered with ponies appearing off model, but overall is looks pretty good. The colors are on point and it’s definitely a comic that is very easy to read. You’ll be breezing through as you enjoy the nice adventures. The writing is always solid and these issues just make for a fun read. There’s really nothing negative to say about them.

Overall, Friendship is Magic continues to be a solid series. My favorite issue was the third one. It was a good way of getting all of the different groups to put aside their differences and team up. It’s also nice to see how proud of their cultures each animal is. The dragons may be rather arrogant, but beneath that it’s just because they want to make sure their fellow dragons are given respect. The same can be said for all of the others. By the end of this ceremony they are all a lot closer than they were before it started. I’ll be starting the next volume pretty soon so get ready for another review!

Overall 7/10