Exorcist II: The Heretic Review

This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be a lot more negative.

Who here remembers the dumpster fire that was the Exorcist? Well it ended up getting a sequel. That’s pretty unfortunate in and of itself but then this film is so scattered and nonsensical that you have to wonder how it ever made it past the production phase. This film certainly didn’t do much right, but then again what would you expect? Lets take a look at the Heretic.

The film starts with Lamont getting ready for a new mission. The church wants him to check up on Regan to see what the situation is. However, they don’t want to be bothered with the specifics so if there’s anything wrong with her then Lamont needs to ignore that and give them the okay. Essentially sending him is just a formality and they want him to be aware of this. Lamont isn’t okay with this, but then demons possess him and tell him to destroy Regan. He can’t resist their influences. Can anyone live through this?

Well, one big issue here is a similar one from the first film. The priests look super weak here. The demons seem to have all of the power at their disposal while the heroes can’t do anything. If even the priest is getting mind controlled with ease then what hope do the other characters have? None, that’s what. The demons basically just toy with the main characters a lot until they grow bored and allow themselves to be destroyed. It doesn’t make for a particularly engaging synopsis I must say.

Regan actually seems to be doing a much better job of resisting the demons than the people who came in to help her. She only gets possessed when the heroes put her in the telepathy machine which allows her to see the past. How such an invention even came into being is quite suspect on its own so lets pretend that we didn’t see that. The scenes of them mind melding are pretty boring and every time the characters use this ability it ends up backfiring anyway. Why would they want to open a portal for the demons to come through?

Then you’ve got the annoying subplot where Lamont is going crazy. He starts losing his grip on reality such as when he imagines a scientist to be an old monk with some interesting powers. Naturally he dies by getting stabbed in this vision. Then he gets to ride through Africa where a swarm of locusts destroy everyone. That was in the past and it ends up tying into the film by the climax, but at that point you’ll have seen the same clip so many times that you will be bored out of your mind. If it’s one thing that this film loves, it’s stock motion. You’ll see the same recycled clips many, many times over.

The film shouldn’t have tried to keep going back to the past to explain the present. There’s just no point to it. Then you’ve got Regan’s psychiatrist who tries her best to help the kid, but naturally a demon is a little above her pay grade. Unfortunately she is travelling with an assistant who is highly susceptible to the demon mind control. Although as already pointed out the demons can mind control whoever they please so things wouldn’t have changed a whole lot otherwise. She was effectively just the fall person this time. Still makes for an annoying character though.

As you can probably expect the film is pretty violent as well. It’s not quite as gruesome as the first film where it was just hard to look at any of the characters, but this one’s still no good. You’d want to avoid it on this alone, much less everything else. None of the characters are any good with the exception of Regan who isn’t great either since she can be rather vague and scattered. It’s hard to trust her because of how she acts even if she does mean well.

Then we have the villain Pazuzu who isn’t particularly memorable. He’s basically just a very generic demon who is willing to do anything to get the last laugh even if it means degrading himself. There’s nothing interesting about him at all. The demon has absolutely no character and is basically just a waste of time. Couldn’t the writers have at least given him some kind of interesting sub-plot or character motivations? Nah…I guess I can’t say that I was surprised.

Overall, what I can glean from this movie is that it didn’t need to be made. There was no reason for an Exorcist sequel and the movie writers knew it. That’s why there is barely a plot here as the demon just wants to rise and fight but doesn’t even know why. All it does is try to make the Church look bad with how the cross and spells never work on the demons. They always just end up laughing. The film could have gone for an interesting Venom route where the original demon has grown attached to Regan and wants to protect her from other demons, but that’s too clever for this series. We also don’t need to humanize demons like that anyway so it may not have worked either way. That’s just more evidence that in general this film just should have been a reboot or something instead. Give the franchise a clean slate and maybe even improve on the original. It’s certainly possible and I think that would have been the optimal route. So, if you want to see a good horror film I’d suggest checking out something like Ghost Busters instead even if it’s basically more of a comedy film.

Overall 1/10

Bass vs Kuma


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Kuma is a pretty tough bear, but I don’t think he will really be able to do a whole lot against Bass. First off, Bass is faster than light. This means that none of Kuma’s attacks have any hope of actually hurting Bass because he can’t be hit. Bass also has enough power to destroy the whole universe. How can Kuma hope to dodge or block that? The simple, but accurate answer is that he simply can’t. This is an unwinnable battle I’m afraid. Bass wins.

Marshadow vs Bass



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Marshadow is a powerful Pokemon. He’s definitely not someone that you can afford to underestimate. Trust me, it just won’t go well. Still, Bass is the strongest being in all of media so you can cut him a bit of slack there. Even if he looks down on Marshadow to an extent he will still be able to pull out the win. You just can’t hope to stop a being of his caliber. One Darkness Overload attack and it’s all over. Bass wins.

Mr Incredible vs Bane




Suggested by iKnowledge It’s time that Mr Incredible steps back into the ring to try and take down one of Batman’s most powerful adversaries. Bane is quite strong and the more Venom he consumes, the stronger he gets. His human limitations will quickly kick in though and he can’t quite reach the height that Mr. Incredible is at. Incredible rarely likes to go all out since he might hurt someone, but Bane can take it so he will be able to fight a little more freely. I hate to say it, but I think this is about as far as Bane goes. Mr Incredible wins.

Kuma vs Bubbles


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Suggested by iKnowledge Bubbles is definitely very fast and that’s why this match is a little on the tricky side. I don’t doubt that he could give Kuma a very good fight, but does he really have enough power to win this battle. I’d like to have seen some of his actual strength in action. Meanwhile I’ve seen Kuma destroy glass and wood so I don’t doubt his power. I think he would land enough blows to eventually secure the win. Kuma wins.

Guyver vs Bones


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Suggested by Anonymous Guyver is back once more and this will be another easy win for him. There’s really not much that Bones can really do to try and get the upper hand here. He’s still just a human in the long run so even with a blaster he isn’t quick enough to keep up with Guyver. Guyver’s got his armor going for him along with a plethora of special abilities. Nah, I don’t think anyone’s taking this guy down in the near future. Guyver wins.

Guyver vs Sulu


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Suggested by Anonymous Guyver has returned and he is up against a pretty solid fighter in the form of Sulu. Sulu has always gotten the job done. He never became as popular as the main members of the show like Kirk and Spock, but always had a big presence on the show. Unfortunately, his blaster and hand to hand skills will not be sufficient to defeat a foe as strong as Guyver. I’m sorry to say that Guyver is simply too powerful. He’s not the kind of opponent that will go down easy. Guyver wins.

Cosmic Mario vs Cosmic Clone




Suggested by Destroyer These two characters are pretty similar. However, while Cosmic Mario is a mysterious being of nearly unlimited power, Cosmic Clones seem to be more like a dime a dozen. Taking them down will be child’s play for someone like Cosmic Mario. I think his durability and acrobatics will be able to match that of the clones and then some. You just can’t beat the originals. Cosmic Mario wins.

Jason Voorhees vs Mephisto




Suggested by Destroyer Jason may be pretty good at terrorizing random teenagers, but can he really hope to take down someone as skilled as Mephisto? I think not. Mephisto has fought with some very strong opponents. He may not typically be known as the kind of guy who can go toe to toe with the heavy weights, but he’s still someone who certainly has the edge on Jason. Take away Jason’s blunt weapons and he doesn’t have much going for him. Mephisto wins.

Ditto vs DK



Suggested by Sonic DK is a heavy weight fighter. He’s taken a lot of powerful shots back in his day and always rose back up to the challenge. Ditto will have a hard time copying that level of charisma. Still, Ditto’s copy ability has allowed him to become many powerful Pokemon. While his copied abilities don’t seem to be as strong as the authentic articles, he is still more than a match for DK here. DK isn’t good against long range attacks and Ditto has plenty of those. Ditto wins.