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Slender Man Review

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The Slender Man was definitely a character who got pretty big for a while. Perhaps not as big as Freddy Fazbear but since Slender Man was involved in court proceedings and such he may have gotten more screen time for a while. Naturally the movie came out very late once most of this was already done. It’s not a very impressive horror film though. Slender Man himself doesn’t even get to do anything for the longest time and the film is more about setting up the atmosphere than doing anything with it. Slender Man just doesn’t stick out.

The movie starts with the 4 main girls Katie, Wren, Hallie, and Chloe deciding to have a girls night out to summon Slender Man after hearing that the guys were going to do it. Little did they know the guys decided not to summon him in the end. So the girls watch the tape that summons him and immediately they all feel the fear. Usually after something like that you would expect the characters to just laugh it off or something but they take it deadly serious. You can already tell that the film is going to be rather dramatic the whole time. They figure they will go about their lives as normal except then Katie goes missing a few days later. Can they possibly rescue her from Slender Man or is it already too late?

You feel like it probably is too late at this point since usually you aren’t able to do much against these supernatural creatures but at the same time since a lot of focus is put on trying to bring her back then maybe there is a slight shot. Mainly Wren is the one trying her hardest as she does a lot of research to the point where she basically goes insane and manic over a lack of sleep. She does well in learning about him but also takes far more chances then you would want.

For example, she goes to the message boards that Katie was posting in about Slender Man. The main user there quickly lets her know that Katie is gone and the only way to try and bring her back is to make a deal with Slender Man. As part of this deal she needs to go into the wilderness and blindfold herself in the dead of night along with her friends. Here’s the problem, based on the videos that Katie sent in the chat, this user knows roughly where she lives.

The user would also then know where the forest is so saying that you will go there at night blindfolded is not a great plan. Even if Slender Man isn’t real, the alternative is that this user may have had something to do with her disappearance. If that is the case then you’re pretty much throwing your life away by following his advice. It’s also a shame to see the characters throwing away their prized possessions. Of course if you actually think this could be real then it’s admirable to take these risks to try and save your friend.

Wren is definitely the best character in the movie. She easily takes the most chances and puts in a lot of work to save Katie. Without her the other characters probably wouldn’t have done much of anything. After all, they were doing their best to avoid even thinking about the video. Even when Wren was being up front with them about the nightmares and such they kept trying to act as if it wasn’t happening. They weren’t too convincing about it either.

Slender Man throws in a bunch of jump scares of course but nothing too noteworthy. You have people looking distorted or Katie’s drunk father breaking into the house but for the most part it’s all rather standard like that. You figure Slender Man himself won’t try anything for a while. One scene that was at least visually interesting was when Slender Man started rewriting reality so the library started looking off. He would extend the distance to go anywhere which sort of locks you in a bad spot.

This helps to offset that his design doesn’t look very intimidating. Not only has he skipped leg day for decades but he doesn’t have any real muscle either. He does have one moment where he causes someone’s face to be empty like his which certainly seems like a tough trick to get around since you can’t talk at that point. His actual screen time is so small though. For a film called Slender Man you would expect to see him a little more right? It’s not like we’re ever meant to think he’s not real. It’s clear from the start that he is actually around.

By the end of the film there really isn’t much of a happy ending considering the body count. At the same time, there was never any way the heroes could have defeated him which makes this an exercise in futility. It’s something that particularly happens in horror films a lot that can be annoying. If you write a villain out to be absolutely untouchable then what is even the point? Slender Man has no weaknesses. You can barter with him but that’s about it.

When you remove any chance of even damaging the guy then it’s like the heroes are fighting against an abstract force. At least with films like Friday the 13th and Scream you can see the heroes putting up a fight. You figure they’ll lose in the end anyway but at least it’s close. Although supernatural forces are more interesting to battle with, it’s nullified if the whole journey is pointless.

I’ll give Slender Man the slimmest of credits for at least being fairly tame though. It’s not throwing out gratuitous violence or super gritty deaths at you. There isn’t a lot of crazy language which is usually the norm for these films. All in all it’s a lot tamer than you may think although it’s still quite dark. Slender Man seems to always be going after kids and teens after all which may also mean that he’s nervous about getting adults. That’s pure head canon though since his abilities would suggest that this would be easy as well.

Overall, Slender Man set the tone early when the characters got super disturbed after watching a low quality video about Slender Man. It was just a few images looping at high speeds so it’s hard to see why they were so affected. Apparently they all felt something as Wren would later state but that’s when you knew that the characters were doomed. They were terrified long before they met Slender Man. Katie also seemed to have made a rather iffy choice once we learn more details about what happened with her. She could have at least left the other characters a note or something right? It’s certainly nice that Slender Man got a film I suppose but it’s really just a standard horror film about a group of teens trying to survive for as long as they can against an utterly invincible foe. The characters aren’t particularly likable and there’s just nothing to hook you on the film.

Overall 3/10

Saint Seiya: Warriors of the Final Holy War Review

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Saint Seiya returns once again to fight their most powerful opponents yet. If you’ve seen the first three films then you know you’re about to see another epic installment in the franchise. Athena may not look great here but she has improved quite a bit since the last film. This one’s back to being a bit on the shorter side but it cuts right to the action so you’re still going to get a lot of epic battles.

The movie starts with a bang as Lucifer has been resurrected. He sends his minions to go and take down the Gold Saints first. They quickly murder each one in an instant and then after that they go with Lucifer to take Athena down. Athena is unable to stop these guys and even Seiya and friends are defeated. It all just happened so fast and now the world is in ruins as towns are being flooded and cities are being destroyed. Lucifer gives Athena once chance to save the world. She will have to walk over to his throne across a valley of thorns and sacrifice herself so that the world will live. Athena has decided to do this but her Saints aren’t thrilled at the prospect. They’ve decided to rise and fight against this guy.

Shiryu missed out on the initial battle involving the main saints so he is the only one still at full power while Seiya, Hyoga, and Shun are already at death’s door. Of course Ikki also wasn’t there but he never is. Due to this, Shiryu actually gets some of the best scenes in the film such as taking on two of Lucifer’s minions at the same time. Considering how these guys handled the other Saints so easily, it was a pretty intense moment. We also got to hear him say the catchphrase “The same technique never works on a Saint twice” which was hype.

Shiryu fans will definitely enjoy his appearance here as I would say it is his best appearance across all of the films. Then you have Shun who gets beat as usual but I suppose he did hold his own for a bit. The issue is that his opponent could literally slice through his chains without any effort which is an issue. Not much you can do if your chains aren’t strong enough to defend with right?

Ikki naturally gets to step in and look good though. Again I would say his role here is rather small but he takes his opponent out pretty quick with his illusions which is always fun. It’s clear that his abilities are near the top when it comes to all Saints around the board. There’s not much to complain about when that’s the case since I suppose he would end up stealing the show if he was there the whole time. He has a pretty hype scene where he tells Shun that he needs to get up on his own though.

Hyoga also looks good here. He may not stand out as much as in the last film since he got such a big focus there at times but he takes on his opponent and looks quite good. Then you have Seiya who definitely looks great here. He doesn’t back down and isn’t afraid to give his opponents some attitude as well. It doesn’t matter if it’s Lucifer or Hades going up against him, Seiya always fights hard for Athena. He gets to unleash his Meteor Fist and of course takes out his trump card near the end.

Compared to the last film which was going for more of an ambitious setup, I would say this film is really going back down to basics. Athena is defeated/put in a position where she will die soon so the heroes have to save her as soon as possible. We get the big fights as the heroes near the end and then the climax has arrived. There are really no side quests or anything to distract you.

That said, if you think about it some more then the Gold Saints look pitiful once more. When even Virgo Shaka was taken out in an instant I had to shake my head at that. I mean…I guess you could say since it was 4 on 1 that if they go all out from the start even Virgo would lose but it’s hard to see it being that quick. Lets say we take it to be fact that all of the Saints are massively faster than light so that one instant was actually a few minutes of their time in battling. Couldn’t Virgo have landed any real hits or something? I don’t see him calling for backup but the guy was always shown to be one of the most powerful Saints so losing just like that was hard to buy.

It is an effective way of building up hype for the new villains though. Since the heroes surpassed the Gold Saints in Arc 1 I am fully comfortable with them defeating the guys who beat the Gold Saints as well. That tracks for sure, but why didn’t some of the other Gold Saints arrive to help like Roshi? At least he could have offered some kind of assistance. Athena really needs to fire all of her Gold Saints since they never help her anyway.

The animation is very solid as always. It doesn’t really use any super cool effects like the fire blasts in the last film but it’s all very consistent. Ikki’s illusion was certainly fun and all of the battles have a lot going on. Keeping up with the close range blows and projectiles is fun. The choreography here is definitely on point. As expected the soundtrack also delivers the whole time as well as it amps up the battles.

Overall, Saint Seiya continues its run of solid films. You do feel like there’s not much of the Earth left to save by the time Lucifer is done with it but I suppose that’s at least something Athena and her magic can work out. At least it gives her something to do when all is said and done. Since the series uses all kinds of inspirations from around the globe for each set of villains it was fun to see a Biblical interpretation here. Lucifer certainly makes for an intimidating villain in that sense and existing in the same series as Hades will naturally have you wonder which fighter is stronger. If you like action films then you’ve definitely got to check this one out. It’ll give you all the fighting you could ever want with the characters inspiring you as they get up after each hit.

Overall 8/10

Saint Seiya: Legend of Crimson Youth Review

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The Saint Seiya crew returns once more for another great film. The movies have been quite consistent in quality and this one is no different. With the extended run time we also get to see quite a lot of extra action scenes here. Some characters look a little suspect of course but ultimately you are bound to have a good time.

One day Abel returns to the world. He is the god of the Sun and Athena’s long lost brother. His abilities are pretty much invincible and he also has 4 Corona Saints working for him. As a result, he says that Athena no longer needs her bronze saints to defend her. Seiya and the others are outraged at this but Athena confirms it must be this way. She doesn’t even bat an eye when the main Corona Saint beats Seiya to a pulp and even the Golden Saints who had been slain have returned to offer their allegiance.

After the Bronze Saints are gone and Athena is sure that nobody can protect her, she offers one of the worst attacks I’ve ever seen as she tries to defeat Abel. He quickly murders her and then his Corona Saints murder the only 2 Golden Saints who were brave enough to try and defend her. With Athena on her way to hell, Seiya and pals must once again don their armors in order to save her. Still, they are going up against foes who have even defeated the golden saints with ease. Do they have a chance?

I’ll go into the positives in a minute but I just have one negative with the film which is that the plot makes Athena and the Gold Saints look absolutely horrible. Athena is the main culprit here though. So her long lost brother shows up and after hanging out with him for a few hours she is ready to discard her saints entirely and just follow his rule? She doesn’t object when he beats up her friends via proxy? The guy is so corrupt it’s obvious and she seems to know it but decides not to make a move.

It’s almost worse that she decides to attack him later since we find out that she knew he was evil all along. The reason she waited is she thought Seiya and friends would get murdered by him. She should know they would try to avenge her anyway so that would be even worse. Even more so when you realize that there were 5 Gold Saints with her at the time so Seiya would have had some backup. Her plan was just nuts and she dies without even putting up a fight. Athena has to be the weakest cosmic being in the series.

Then you also have the Gold Saints bowing to these Corona guys and refusing to do anything. At least 2 of them rose up to try and defend Athena but naturally they were absolutely crushed since it was 4 against 2. It’s nice that they acted but it was too little too late. They should have been helping Seiya when he was getting pounded, particularly as it seemed like Seiya would have beaten his opponent if not for Athena stopping him.

There’s no defense for Gemini Saga and the others though. Just standing by as their allies are being beaten is the height of disgrace. Their armors should have shattered in disgust as they went to find a new owner. So the story itself feels very forced and there were many better ways to set this up. At least once we do get to Seiya and friends storming the temple then we get back on track.

Once the introductions are over then the heroes quickly march on to take these guys down. Seiya in particular looks great here since he didn’t wait for any kind of explanation and just went right to the action. Now, he was filled with self doubt so he tended to lose a whole lot here but at least he always got right back up. He’s not the kind of character to back down from a fight and he got the job done in the end.

I think fans of all the bronze saints should be satisfied here. Shiryu was the one who found out the method to save Athena and did well in taking his guy out. He even let the opponent get a false sense of security so he could confirm his theory about Athena. Hyoga flat out defeated one of the Corona Saints in a fair fight which was very impressive and was also one of the first ones to reach Abel. Of course that was partially because they let him.

Shun got beat real quick in his fight but that is to be expected. After getting saved he was at least able to assist Seiya near the end by stopping one of the opponent’s blows. It may not be perfect, but you can see some improvement with Shun. Ikki looks great here as he naturally takes his guy down. If not for a cheap shot he may have been able to do a whole lot more as well. I admit that I would have liked to have seen him take on the main villains more though.

As for the Corona Knights, they make for fun adversaries. The main one, Carina had a really good fire attack that the animators clearly had fun with. Effectively his flames burn you from the inside out so it looks like the character is expanding from the hot air. You can feel how painful that attack has to be. Others had electric wires which were also deadly and a nice variety of attacks. As with most of these films since it is a whole group introduced here it is hard to really remember any of their names in particular. Additionally their introductions are long since they also say where they are from.

That said, each villain is good. I wouldn’t say any were underwhelming. The evil Gold Saints were also good opponents even if they didn’t learn anything from their last defeats at the hands of the saints. I would have liked Gemini Saga to have done a little ore but I suppose taking on one of the Corona Knights would have to suffice. Perhaps he should have let his evil side out a bit more and then he could have really taken the fight to these guys.

The animation here was really good as you would expect. The fight scenes really shine and the armors look very sleek on the characters. Saint Seiya is one of those titles you really watch for the fun fight scenes and they always deliver. You can probably tell how most of the fights will play out since Saint Seiya is a very formulaic series but it doesn’t undercut the raw determination that each character brings to the table. The music tracks also fit right in with what’s going on.

Overall, Saint Seiya delivers with another great film. The climax even tries to go a bit more high scale than the last 2 films which is good if you like the other Saints as well as Seiya. Ikki’s role may be a bit smaller than the first two films but it’s satisfying. I had my issues with the plot and Athena as she continually disappoints but the main Bronze Saints all look good. It’s nice to see how far they’ve come from the old days as they now take on opponents who were easily crushing the Golden Saints. While the gold fighters may not have looked great here, I do like the idea of getting them in on the action a bit. It really helps to solidify these new guys as true threats.

Overall 8/10

Vice Versa Review

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Vice Versa is a classic body swapping film so you can expect a lot of hijinks to ensue. I always like the idea of body swapping because it can make for a lot of interesting scenarios. The very premise of living a life in someone else’s shoes for example has always been a blast. I would say right off the gate the film does make one mistake here though. Nobody wants to live another day as a kid…..it would have been more interesting if the main guy was swapping lives for a day with his girlfriend or maybe a rival at the workplace. Still, this is the plot here so lets tackle it now.

Marshall is a rather successful businessman but it has come at the expense of time with his son Charlie. This weekend he gets to have Charlie since he seems to alternate weeks with Charlie’s mother. It’s going to be a grand ole time. The only damper is that the vase Marshall ordered for a work exhibition didn’t arrive because instead he got a haunted skull. The villainous Lilian calls to offer to trade the items (Which got misplaced according to her plan to fool customs) and Marshall agrees. The issue is that before this can happen he and Charlie wish they could switch places. The wish becomes true so they swap bodies. Can each character successfully live in the other person’s shoes or will they wreck everything?

Low key the scariest thing about body swapping would be seeing how the other person wrecks your life. Make no mistake, there is a whole lot of damage you can do to a person’s reputation in a day. It’s not quite something that can be easily reversed either. Both characters do a number on each other but for sure Charlie does more damage than Marshall. Not only does Charlie just generally act like a doofus most of the time with his mouth always open but he doesn’t know anything about business. Fortunately things tend to work out in his favor but that’s not for lack of trying.

Charlie wasn’t ready for this and I can’t say that I was really a fan of his. Kids tend to be a little on the annoying side in these films and even once he got an adult body I wouldn’t say Charlie fully got away from that. He continually messes up and he makes a rather significant move towards the end of the film involving a proposal that was out of line. It could have easily gone sideways and it’s hard to come back from that.

Meanwhile Marshall is the one carrying the film. Honestly I wouldn’t have minded a whole film about him at the firm because it seemed fairly interesting. As a kid he didn’t quite have the same level of intrigue and I was a little iffy about him not being able to take on the bullies at all. The whole time I was waiting for the moment where he confronts them but it never happened. That was a big missed opportunity if you ask me. The actual payoff wasn’t very satisfying since it was Charlie in an adult’s body so there wasn’t much the bullies can do.

Sam is a main supporting character as Marshall’s girlfriend but I wouldn’t say she looks great either. It’s nice that watching the metal show helped her get closer to Marshall I suppose but he was acting rather crazy the whole time so you’d think she would notice something’s up. Now, part of this is due to the fact that it is a comedy so we shouldn’t think too hard on it but I dunno. Also, she has one questionable scene with Marshall considering that he’s still a kid at this point in time and any scene with Charlie is also iffy. She’s partially a victim of circumstance I guess but she never got to be all that good. Also, relationships within the workplace always seem tricky at best.

As for the two villains Lilian & Turk, they’re okay but almost feel like they don’t belong in the film. They’re effectively the villains from Home Alone and get wrecked throughout the film. There is a pretty fun scene where they get ready to abduct Marshall only for Charlie to throw him in a car first. It looked like they were beat to the punch by other kidnappers which was a fun gag. I also liked when the coworkers confronted the about the gun.

Again, the whole film taking place at the workplace would have really worked quite well. The villains don’t leave much of an impression beyond this but I guess they added a layer of danger if they managed to take the skull away. The heroes not figuring out that they both had to be holding onto the skull seemed a bit lazy though. Why would they not try that?

The writing here is decent but there is still just something keeping it from the next level. I get the impression they didn’t really take the premise as far as it could go. When the main plot from before the switch is more interesting than the actual switch you know that you have a problem. It all boils down to the fact that throwing a kid into the mix was a bit of a mistake. There is less you can do with that since Charlie isn’t all that smart as it is. He can’t even bluff his way through scenarios as he just has his mouth open in shock the whole time. Definitely the most annoying part of his character.

Overall, Vice Versa won’t be anyone’s pick as the most influential body swap film. It’s not bad though but I guess what’s almost as important is that it’s not very interesting. It’s a very subdued film that goes through the motions but doesn’t do anything super memorable. Charlie is established as a rather unlikable character the instant he decides to stop listening to Marshall now that he’s all grown up. There was potential to be found here but it never happened. As a result I would say the film is perfectly in the middle. It’s not bad but it’s not all that good either. You’ll walk away from it without a strong opinion one way or the other. So if you want a quick way to spend some time relaxing then you can pop this one in. Otherwise you can probably find some stronger options.

Overall 5/10

Notting Hill review

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Notting Hill is one of those films where you feel like the main guy allows himself to be used a little too much. Get ready for an adventure filled with cheating, betrayal, and in general a rather unhealthy relationship that is not likely going to go anywhere. It can make for a fun watch at times with some fun accents but at other times you’ll be shaking your head. Ultimately it may have done well to have reduced the length of the movie by a bit.

The movie starts off by introducing us to William at his humble book store. He has always done all right for himself but has no spectacular memories or events that he can talk about. Deep down he has always hoped that something fantastic would happen to him. Unfortunately that just has not yet been the case. One day, a famous actress known as Anna walks into the store and changes his life. They quickly begin to have an affair and everything is going well until he finds out that he was just the side man and she is already seeing someone.

Still, it’s not every day that you have an affair with a celebrity. Anna is willing to continue anyway but can William be satisfied with this arrangement? He will have to have some serious conversations with his family to see what to do. All along he has to wonder if this is really happening or if it’s all some kind of fantasy he has cooked up.

A lot of my issues with the film do come down to William. I would say Anna as well but primarily I’m looking at William since he is so passive here. First off, I will say he can be an entertaining character. He reminds me of the Dragons from Dragon’s Den with how he tends to speak his mind in a passive aggressive sort of way. He has a rather decent set up at home and his life isn’t bad. He may not have had that spectacular experience yet but do you need one if your life is consistently positive?

Once he meets Anna is when things start to sour for him. First off, she knows him for about 10 minutes and then suddenly on impulse decides to make a move. He’s thrilled of course but also mystified. She then calls him into her office to say that it didn’t mean anything only for them to have another affair moment shortly thereafter. They go out for a while before he catches her with the other guy.

William decides to take a step back since this may not be quite right. Still, Anna shows up again and William decides to give it another try. Only this time the reporters showed up and she blames him so they split up again. He decides that he won’t fall for this again but when she is filming in town he shows up to say hey and overhears her talking about him in a rather dismissive way. He leaves once again and then she returns. This cycle keeps on repeating over and over and over again.

Perhaps if the writing was utterly brilliant this could work but I wouldn’t say the script was that impressive here. It’s not bad mind you, but it’s rather standard stuff. You have some clever moments like one of William’s family trying to give Anna acting tips on how tough the profession is before he knows that she is an actress but then you have more cringe worthy stuff like William’s inferiority complex showing in full display as he asks Anna about famous actors.

That scene involving the ice cream drags on for a day and a half. So the film’s writing is okay but it would pale next to many comedies. It’s less of an up and down ride with laughs and jokes that fail but most of a steady cruise that you will rarely find super funny but shouldn’t get all that annoying either. It’s just the endless cycle that gets really annoying because you feel like William should eventually just stop falling for the bait.

Part of why I put the blame on him each time is that he’s the one who chooses to continue going on like this even though he ends up getting hurt each and every time. It’s not like Anna takes it as hard since to her it seems less personal. Well, I’ve slammed on William a lot for now so lets turn to Anna.

It’s hard to sympathize with Anna as well because she clearly had no problem being with two guys at once. She would have continued with that setup had she not been caught. That already speaks volumes about her character. Anna just doesn’t have a lot of class in that respect. She is completely unreasonable about the reporters showing up considering that William did not sell her out. She had no reason to speak ill of William to her co-star except to try and prop herself up.

All in all, I found it impossible to root for the romance. It has to be one of the weakest ones I’ve seen in a while. These two have been hurt way too many times over a single relationship in such a short time frame for all to be well. It’s also always hard to just overlook cheating when the relationship is just getting started because you will then always have the doubt in the back of your mind. What if the other person is still cheating at this very moment? You really can’t know for sure.

As for side characters, the main one would be Spike. He’s William’s roommate and a pretty bad character. He results in most of the worst humor moments because the guy just isn’t funny. His thing is that he’s a big slob who always lets William down when it counts the most. He forgets to remember who called, how to take notes, and even rats out on Anna for a few seconds of fame. It’s easy to forget how these two could even be friends in the first place. They certainly don’t seem to get along much but I suppose the argumentive dynamic may be what keeps them together. Spike doesn’t take anything personal and William vents a lot but doesn’t let it really affect him much.

The rest of the family shows up for a while too but I wouldn’t say they were that great. William’s sister is a little too obsessed with trying to be Anna’s friend. She comes off as rather odd the whole time and the “romance” with Spike near the end comes out of nowhere. The married couple was good at least as they had a solid dynamic going and the ex-wall street investor had a lot of confidence which was good. So I guess the supporting cast was decent.

Overall, What really holds Notting Hill back is that the romance is absolutely bonkers. The characters go through the cycle way too many times. It’s also a bit laid back for a comedy film so laughs are few and far between. The best sequence of moments was when William had to interview a lot of people on a film he knew nothing about. You’d think he could have done a little better on the spot with thinking up questions but at that point he was too obsessed with Anna to think of much else. If you want to check out a film where you live through the fantasy of a rich actress deciding to have an affair with you at first sight then I guess this is the right stop. If you want something a little more realistic like finding your future wife in a data world and being tasked as the savior of humanity then I would recommend checking out Sword Art Online: Ordinal Scale instead.

Overall 4/10

A Walk to Remember Review

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A Walk to Remember is a film that has a classic Dirty Dancing feel to it where the where the main romance seems like it can’t possibly work out. The characters are from different social circles and have barely even known each other. You can guess a lot of how this will play out from start to finish except for one big twist near the end but unfortunately it’s not a good twist. It ends up hurting the score quite a bit.

The movie starts by introducing us to Landon. He’s in with a bad group of friends who go around pranking other students and making fun of everyone. One day they injure a kid pretty badly so Landon is nearly expelled. In order to stay at school he will have to do a lot of volunteer work including being in a school play. He doesn’t want to do any of this and asks the preacher’s daughter Jamie to tutor him.

Jamie is a rather quiet girl and the nicest person at the school so naturally everyone picks on her a lot. She still agrees to help Landon out even though he doesn’t really have her back at all. He wants to be secret friends to spare his image after all. Will things end up working out between them or is Landon going to go back to his old ways as soon as this is over?

As a main character, it’s difficult to like Landon. The guy goes pretty far into being a jerk so once the payoff happens and he starts to be nicer, it’s just very deep into the film. You still have your share of doubts about him. It’s a classic character arc so of course if we got a sequel he would probably look better there but in the meantime he’s just not likable. He should have left the group of friends a lot sooner as well.

Meanwhile Jamie is a fun character. She does her best to always take the high ground and continue to try her best and ignore everyone’s insults. She gets burned quite a few times with helping Landon but continues to press on. There really isn’t anything bad to say about her as Jamie remains a consistent character from start to finish.

Where the film really messes up is it decides to add some extra drama. I suppose it’s a spoiler to say exactly what happens here, but needless to say the film isn’t going for a particularly happy ending. It’s one of those endings that negates a large part of the overall adventure. The twist really didn’t even need to be in the film. If you skip that and play out the climax straight I dare say that the film would end up being a lot better.

I suppose the twist does differentiate it from other films in the genre but it’s not worth it. The rest is pretty straight forward as Jamie works on redeeming Landon and getting him to appreciate life a bit more. He goes from just taking everything nonchalantly to actually being serious about life. That part of the film will still work quite strongly with or without the twist.

Jamie’s faith is also a key part of the film since she is quite devout in her faith. She counters her father’s arguments against getting close to Landon by using scripture as well. That said, you don’t blame the father for having reservations. He knows Landon fairly well from being a preacher in this town for so long. While of course he won’t rule out the possibility of Landon turning over a new leaf, he naturally wouldn’t want to take a chance with Jamie getting hurt. Worse than the emotional risk would also be if Landon were able to take her away from her belief in God, corrupting her to the more worldly side. Ultimately I would say he was reasonable, it just took him some time to come on board with this.

The rest of the kids at school were all mostly petty. They do their best to try and cause trouble for the two leads by messing with Jamie and trying to hurt her reputation at school. It’s all classic bully stuff and you can tell that it’s not the nicest town to be in. Of course, that’s par for the course with most schools we see in these films so that’s rather normal.

This film is primarily a romance I would say but ultimately that would still be one of the weaker aspects of the movie. It’s just hard to buy into the romance because these two characters don’t really know each other like that. It’s only been a little while since they first met up and you have to also account for the fact that Landon was a jerk for the early scenes. By the time he begins to thaw out we’re already fairly deep into the movie.

A Walk to Remember also pulls out the classic moment of “Don’t fall in love with me” as Jamie tells Landon this but he quickly disregards it. As soon as those words are uttered you know that the friend zone is about to crumble. It’s a shame because you could have had a really good friendship dynamic here that would have worked well. That would probably not have overpowered the ending but it would have been a good move.

Overall, the writing is solid and the pacing is on point. I may be misremembering but I think there was also a good song or two that played at one point. On the whole it’s a good film if you can just get past the ending act. The problem is that the ending is a very important part of any film as it will have a lasting impact that is hard to forget. While it may not always be enough to destroy an experience, it can certainly weaken it. The film drops a few stars for the ending because it’s just a bad one that doesn’t give you that climactic final scene you’re hoping for. It doesn’t end the film on a high note so if we ever get a remake I would definitely say to change that scene. Maybe make it so the miracle referenced in the film isn’t about Landon, but about Jamie instead.

Overall 4/10

Fiend without a Face Review

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When you have a title like this you know that you’re going to be in for some pretty solid hype. After all, if the fiend doesn’t have a face then how are you going to attack it? Wits alone will not be enough to stop this foe. The movie has a lot of interesting ideas and while it will ultimately go down as just another creature feature, it was pretty fun.

The movie starts off by introducing us to a small town. Things were going well here until the army decided to set up shop with one of their big bases. The locals were not thrilled about this and now that people are vanishing and getting murdered all over the place, the town blames them. The army has Major Jeff take a look into this since they need to find out why people are dying. He meets up with a lady named Barbara and quickly grows to like her but is still getting verbally attacked by the townsfolk.

Now the stakes are higher, if he doesn’t get to the bottom of this then he will never get to be with her. Fortunately there is a suspicious scientist named Walgate who may know more than he is letting on. Jeff will need to keep his guard up though or else he will be buried along with the rest of the town’s secrets.

Jeff is a perfectly reasonable main character. I would say that his romance plot starts a little too suddenly for me to take it all that seriously though. The guy falls for Barbara within a few seconds which will make you shake your head a bit. Keep in mind that he is investigating a lot of murders so he should have too much on his mind for that. He also gets a little sloppy when he enters an abandoned tomb on his own.

Remember, the whole town can’t stand him and one guy even started a fight. So you really shouldn’t be taking crazy chances on your own. Fortunately Barbara and his army partner find him but the guy nearly died. At least he is a good shot though which comes in handy near the end of the film. Then you have Barbara who is a good heroine. She does have a tendency to panic a lot like some of the more retro heroines. It would be nice if she had fought more against the monsters but she tends to lose the battle the instant it starts.

As for Walgate, he’s easily the worst character in the film. I would call him a full on villain even if he tries to play the whole “I didn’t mean it” card. The guy actively tried to murder Jeff and there’s no way to talk his way out of that one. Walgate panics a lot and you wonder what the point of his experiments was anyway. Either way he doesn’t have a whole lot of time to regret things.

As for the creatures themselves, I have to say that their character designs are spot on. Basically they’re brains that are floating around with a spinal cord as a tail of sorts. It’s a very unique design and one that you aren’t likely to forget anytime soon. Now I will say it may not be a very intimidating design but they have a very solid gripping strength. Once they have you around the neck it’s basically game over.

They aren’t quite bullet proof though so once the army is ready for them then things go a bit differently. Their main advantage was being invisible after all. Without that they just didn’t stand a chance. It can be a little violent with how the heroes shoot them though. Between the fact that it already looks like a brain as it is and they are getting shot to death, well it’s a lot for such an old time film. It’s nothing too crazy of course but just enough where you may do a double take for a second there.

The writing is on point as the dialogue between all of the characters is pretty solid. It holds up quite well which is definitely not surprising. The pacing is pretty good and the movie is always moving at a pretty quick pace. I was also glad that Jeff was able to win in the fight against the jealous townsperson as losing that fight would have been iffy. We even get a quick town hall type meeting which was cool.

It’s following a rather classic creature feature format but one that works really well as long as it’s executed the right away. This one did properly follow the steps as the monster is slowly bumping various people off while the heroes get closer and closer to cracking the case. Once they make it, you can’t help but feel a sense of triumph even if that doesn’t mean the film is quite over. Walgate is just annoying enough where you were looking forward to seeing the heroes mess up his plans. His fake politeness fits in with the dialogue but you could tell the characters weren’t buying what he was selling.

Overall, The movie is just short enough where it isn’t able to deal with the alien invasion as thoroughly as you might hope, but it still manages to make for an interesting experience. It’s even part mystery you could say as Jeff tries to figure out why they are here and how the creatures were created. This doesn’t exactly seem like something that happened naturally after all. If you like creature feature films then this is a good one to check out. By the end you will see just how dangerous the brain can be.

Overall 6/10

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Review

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It’s time for some more James Bond action. I would even say this was probably the strongest James Bond film from the originals up to this point. It’s fairly close I suppose and it does fall into most of the usual issues but gives us a lot of new landscapes and some pretty thrilling moments. The new Bond actor also did fairly well even if he couldn’t match up to the original.

The movie starts pretty quickly as Bond attacks a few enemy agents but is promptly defeated as they run off. Fortunately he is able to save the lady known as Tracy before she drowns. It turns out she is the daughter of the rich criminal Draco. Bond isn’t interested in taking this guy down though. He just wants to defeat Blofeld, the leader of Spectre. As long as he gets that information then he will overlook this other crime lord. Draco agrees to help Bond find Blofeld as long as Bond takes Tracy as his wife. Bond has completed many missions in his day but can he pull this one off?

Now while that is the main plot, the film is long enough where a great deal more happens along the way. For starters, Blofeld runs a clinic where he helps people get over their phobias. He seems to have an incredible success rate so obviously there is a catch. Bond goes undercover in order to get to the bottom of this and bring Blofeld down. I wouldn’t say it’s his best plan though. For one thing, I didn’t even get exactly what he was pretending his phobia was until the other characters started bringing it up. He flirts way too much for anyone to have bought that as he doesn’t even act all that different with the gang.

Yes, all of the patients are ladies of course so that means Bond will be having a good ole time there. As always he does tend to lower his guard as a result too. Bond may be known as the best agent on the planet but the guy gets suckered a whole lot. Blofeld’s main ally gets the jump on Bond…and she’s an old lady. Prepare for a whole lot of losses here.

Additionally as a character it’s still difficult to really root for Bond at all. Keep in mind that part of the big deal with this film is the whole marriage plot. Yet, he is still going around having affairs with everyone. Never for a moment do you think it’s possible that he will actually stay faithful here. I doubt he would even last a few hours and would probably start messing around with everyone right away. Bond just isn’t the loyal type.

Meanwhile Blofeld looks good here. His plan may be on the rather crazy side but it does veer into the territory of “so crazy that it actually works” so you have to give him some credit here. It’s hard to believe how it works but he does hold his own. He does fall into the classic trap of constantly letting Bond live just to rub his victory in the guy’s face though. That always comes back to bite him.

His subordinate Bunt also gets a big role here. She talks tough to Bond the whole time and is always one step ahead. Blofeld may come up with the plans but she is the one putting them into motion which takes a good amount of skill on its own. She’s quite the memorable villain as a result. She may not be a fighter but she always has a gun at the ready.

As for Tracy, she’s a good heroine. She can actually fight which is always handy such as when she grabs a broken glass bottle and actually fights off one of the henchmen. She has a strong personality and refuses to be used as leverage in any kind of deal. She’s always got a sharp comeback and would easily rank as one of the best heroines in the Bond series.

This film is famous for its ending but in case you are not familiar with it I won’t mention that here. Needless to say, it’s a pretty intense ending that you really don’t see coming. One character even goes insane temporarily because this is so much of a shock. After this film you could definitely see things getting really personal for all of the characters. Without this ending the Bond series may have really gone in a different direction with the franchise. It certainly has the most lasting impact out of all the films.

The action scenes in the film are good as always. We get a lot of shootouts as well as hand to hand battles. Some of the opponents even give Bond a really good run for his money. We have chase scenes as well both on cars, skis, and on foot. It wouldn’t be a proper James Bond adventure without all of that stuff right? The movie is long but it doesn’t drag on due to how much is going on. The story itself is strong as well. Bond even has a sidekick in this one although naturally things do not go very well for him at all.

As for the negatives though, the film has a ton of romance and affair type scenes that don’t work well. Again, you can’t take Bond’s romance seriously at all because you know he will cheat on her the very next chance he gets. It’s not as if this is his first serious romance either. The last one just ended up with the heroine getting poisoned to death and even in that film he had been cheating on her the whole time. Bond’s just not the kind of guy you can really trust in a relationship so any romance would be doomed to fail.

It also undermines him as an agent since the villains are able to use this against him. Bond’s always one step behind. If the films would cut down on the affairs they would be so much better. It would also result in a more likable cast. Right now the supporting characters have to try and hold the film together since Bond himself can’t stack up.

Overall, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is the best of the Bond films from the originals up to this point but that may not be saying a whole lot. It had some interesting ideas like Bond finally quitting M16 but that gets overturned so quickly it may as well not be a true plot point. It would make for a good story if in one film he is framed so he has to escape M16 while proving his innocence. In the meantime if you want a really solid secret agent film, I would defer you to Mission Impossible.

Overall 4/10

King Kong Escapes Review

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King Kong is back for another adventure. This time we get to see a bit of a different take with him as he fights a mecha opponent without having any guest stars here to help him. It’s a fun title and I would even say that it is the best of the solo King Kong films. There’s good action to be found here and a solid amount of humor which makes for a good combo.

The movie starts with Commander Carl and his team heading to King Kong’s island after the weather and their poor ship force their hand. Kong rules Mondo Island and takes down powerful fighters like Gorosaurus and an aquatic Kaiju. He wants Susan to stay with him but she decides to head back with the rest of the gang. This allows Hu and Piranha to show up and kidnap King Kong.

This is certainly an issue though since they can now access a mysterious element that will allow them to take over the world. Carl and crew are tasked with stopping their ambitions. The easiest way would be to free Kong from their control but can they really stop the villains or will they just end up getting captured as well? After all, if the villains can even capture a Kaiju, what hope do a pair of humans really have?

Now this film does raise some questions about when this takes place. The heroes have a hovercraft at the ready and Hu was able to build a Mecha Kong of his own. So when you think about it, this has to take place in the far future right? The rest of the movie doesn’t support that but I do think it makes the most sense.

King Kong Escapes is a very light hearted film which works pretty well here. There’s a lot of fun dialogue between the characters. The film even seems to poke fun at how the main guy would usually fall for the villainess as here he couldn’t care less. Carl doesn’t even come close to falling for her trap which is pretty fun. While this is a King Kong film, it’s fair to say that the humans have the biggest focus.

The most ambitious character here would be Piranha. She is a villain who works for a government that is never named. Her people look Japanese but are stated to be from somewhere else. There is a lot of mystery around her but the issue is that nothing ever comes of it. I’m fairly confident that she is part of an alien species but at least if you only go from the film then it’s really hard to say one way or the other if that is actually accurate.

Piranha talks a very good game throughout the film but slowly as the adventure goes on she starts to lose her hype. Hu starts to call her bluff until she basically quits so she can have some tea and things really turn out poorly for her after that. Her character was odd but fun. Meanwhile Hu is a little hard to take seriously as the main villain. He wasn’t nearly as interesting and since his mecha version of Kong was getting wrecked by the elements in the opening scenes it is hard to take that thing seriously.

It’s probably good that they didn’t call this a vs film because the two fighters are just not equal. King Kong is shown to be far more powerful than this robot and isn’t afraid to show it. If not for the humans constantly mind controlling him and messing with the poor guy, it would have been a very short film. Of course, fans of king Kong should appreciate how good he looks here. The guy is definitely not taking any prisoners.

Aside from Carl and Susan, the other main character here is Jiro. He’s the first so suspect that Piranha’s group is probably not legitimate. That said, the heroes basically had to go along with the trap to try and get some info while foiling Hu’s plans but it’s good he noticed what was going on. He and Susan did well in withstanding the freeze room as well while Carl was enjoying a nice warm drink.

The writing is solid as expected and the pacing is good as the film really flows by. The action scenes are solid like with Gorosaurus giving King Kong the combos for a while. It has the feeling of an old Godzilla film but with an American touch. That certainly seems like a fitting combo for a King Kong film and it’s just too bad that they couldn’t have made more installments in the series. That may have been their chance to explain what Piranha’s group was really after and if they are aliens or not.

Overall, King Kong Escapes is a good film. I wouldn’t say there are any real issues here. I will admit that the human plots may be more interesting than the Kong stuff though even if the fights were fun. It was just nice to see the heroes talking it out with the villains and a little spying going on. The retro atmosphere of the film just makes it all flow together. It would have been nice to see more of the robot or King Kong resisting the villains more but at the end of the day I suppose mind control is just too powerful. If you haven’t seen this film yet then I’d definitely say it’s time to change that. It’ll be hard for any King Kong film to surpass this one.

Overall 7/10

A Kiss Before Dying Review

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Whenever you have a film trying to cross over some romance and horror you know that it’s a tricky mix to pull off. Both genres are already tough enough as it is and this movie definitely couldn’t defy the odds. You’re just waiting for the characters to solve the mystery and end things already but clearly it won’t be quite so easy.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Bud and Dorothy. They’re a couple who are seemingly getting along well but one day Dorothy finds out that she is pregnant. Naturally this was not exactly planned and Bud is now worried about his future prospects. He decides that he’s going to need to bump her off to get himself out of this. He’ll have to do it subtly though or people will suspect that something’s up. He ends up throwing her off a building. While the police believe this may have been a suicide, Dorothy’s sister Ellen isn’t convinced. She gets a local police assistant named Gordon to help her out with this. Can they reach the truth?

I hesitate to even put in the part about Bud taking out Dorothy but that is really the main plot even if it takes a rather long time for that plot to end. There’s a ton of build up to it first as the film milks each scene. I guess the intent is so you can think that maybe Dorothy has a shot at escaping but that never seemed very likely so I don’t know about that one. It does mean that the first half feels really long though and tends to drag on.

Perhaps if there was some reason the film gave us on why Dorothy might escape then you would be able to enjoy this as a rather thrilling moment. Thing is, we know Bud will be able to take her out so then instead of tension you’re just waiting for the film to get on with it and go to the next scene already.

Bud’s definitely one of those guys you’re not meant to sympathize with or even find interesting as a villain. He’s always running around scared and hoping that he’s in the right place at the right time. The film really makes sure to double down on this as he’s even extremely rude to his mother the whole time. Nobody notices what a guy he is though so unfortunately he lasts for quite a while as everyone cheers him on for being a rather intelligent guy who is very studious.

As for Dorothy, she was a good character but definitely not quick on the uptake. Bud wasn’t exactly subtle at his displeasure of her getting pregnant. By the time he would put on his happy face it should have been way too late. She somehow didn’t notice when he pushed her down a flight of stairs as well. The guy’s just way too suspicious throughout the movie but I suppose in a way she just wanted everything to work out. You can sympathize with her a lot to be sure though. You really wanted her to have some kind of happy ending.

Then you have Ellen who is a very proactive character. It is cool to see her do some detective work of her own. Her first adventure almost backfired but at least she is trying to find clues and everything which is a big step up from doing nothing. Now, she does start to slip a whole lot towards the end of the film though. Refusing to listen to new developments and such is a bad look. I can understand if it was only Mr. Kingship but when the cops show up with this info as well you should probably listen.

It was a little disappointed that she then drove up with Bud to a rather abandoned area without bringing a handgun or something. It’s why you certainly can’t let romance blind you or that’ll put you in some sticky situations for sure. It’s part of why Gordon was good since he clearly liked Ellen but at the end of the day his job came first. Even if it meant she wouldn’t be his friend anymore, he had to pursue the case. He also managed to pursue it rather well. He isn’t a full fledged cop yet but you can tell that he will have the skills to make it.

Certainly more skills than the DJ. The problem with that guy is one I have with many characters in a hold up situation. Okay, put it this way, Bud has already said he’s going to murder the guy. It’s quite clear that the DJ isn’t leaving the room alive. In light of that, why not at least make a try for the gun or something? This guy is trying to play this up as a suicide which only works if the DJ sits on the chair real quiet like and allows himself to be shot in a way that is easy to fake.

If he struggles, wrestles with Bud or gets shot as he runs, it’ll be very obvious that it is not a suicide. Effectively you’re calling the killer’s bluff. Still, there is a good chance you’ll die but isn’t it better to take a chance then go for the 0% survival rate of just sitting there and taking it? The DJ was massively disappointing there. I’ll never understand why a characters just accepts his death in such a situation.

Finally, Mr. Kingship was a good character as well. There’s a lot of tension between him and Ellen. From what we see of him in the film he’s definitely a nice enough character but clearly prior to the film’s start he could be a little controlling. We can only really judge on what’s going on now though so I thought he was fairly supportive and did his best.

Overall, I wasn’t really a fan of this film. It certainly comes off as quite a bit mean spirited with almost a third of the film being devoted to scenes building up the main heroine’s death when we know she has no chance of escaping. Bud managing to hook up with her own sister was also quite sketchy and just kept the drama going. It’s rather convenient that Bud got away with so much or that nobody knew he had been going out with her. It’s a small town so I don’t care how secret they were about it, it should have come out during the initial investigation. As Bud’s such an unlikable character having him as the main protagonist for so long also didn’t help matters. You’re just waiting for him to eventually go down which ultimately makes the pacing feel slow as well. If you want to check out a thriller, this definitely isn’t the one to pick.

Overall 3/10