Gradius Review


It’s time to look at another classic NES game. This one is a retro shooter that you may be familiar with. Gradius definitely has a pretty epic cover. I know you can’t judge a game by its cover but if you ever could then this would be the one. It does have an actual ending with a final boss so I was happy to see that. The last few games didn’t really deliver with an ending on the NES so I take what I can get. It’s still a pretty short game though at only around 20-25 minutes, but it’s a good time. The difficulty level here is pretty crazy though so I wonder how you could beat it without a lot of rewinding and such. I suppose in the end people found a way.

The the gameplay here is that of a 2D shooter. You have a main blaster and when you defeat enemies they drop power ups which upgrades your ship. It seems like the powers stack which is pretty cool. Your speed also starts to get bumped up which is a mixed bag. On one hand greater speed is usually a lot of fun because you can essentially do anything. On the flip side, you move so fast that it is very difficult to just dodge an attack. A lot of the time your dodge will end up bumping you into an energy blast or into the wall. A lot of my deaths came this way rather than actually falling in battle. So to an extent you actually may prefer not to get all of the power ups. The issue is that you can’t avoid the speed if you want better lasers so while it’s a tough call I’d say to just grab them.

The best power up is definitely when you get a little energy disc who will follow you around and shoot blasts of its own. By the end I had two of them which was pretty cool. They really had my back. There’s one level in particular that is tough to move in because the ceiling is small and you have little robots running along it. If they get behind you then it is really tricky to land a good hit on them. That’s where your little assistants come in. They have no trouble shooting behind you and catching all of these blasts.

In a sense this game plays out like one of those bullet timer games where there are energy blasts everywhere. A single shot can take out your ship so you really have to keep blasting. There are 7 main levels and there is a boss at the end of each one. The bosses are actually the easiest part though. I only lost a few times to them until the final boss but the others go down in a cinch. You just gotta keep working at it but their attacks are very slow. The final boss seems like a homage to the Mother Brain. It can’t really move or fight back much though so you’ll beat it with ease. That’s the problem with these bosses who don’t have arms or legs, they just can’t really fight back and it gets them into all kinds of trouble.

The graphics are pretty good. It’s aged pretty well in that respect and the game is also pretty good about not lagging. Only near the end of the game where there are scores and scores of enemies will the game start to freeze up. Otherwise you’re good on that front. The soundtrack is also pretty solid with a good tune or two here. It really gets that sci-fi feel across.

Overall, Gradius is a pretty fun game. I’d rate it higher but 20 minutes is still a very short amount of time to keep yourself busy. The levels keep on looping across various cycles which get harder and harder so I suppose it would last you a while if you want to beat all the cycles. It’s still the same levels though so I can’t really say that I would really be working on that for very long. There are still quite a lot of NES titles left to play after all so I can’t forget about them. Still, if you have the NES Online then this is a fun one to check out. There was definitely more effort put into it than some of the others that I’ve played.

Overall 5/10

Excitebike Review


It’s time to look at another classic NES game. This one’s very retro, but I’m sure many of you are familiar with it. Excitebike is one of those racing games that you just tend to see everywhere despite not getting a lot of sequels. Excitetrucks for the Wii is the game in the franchise that I know the most about by far. That was a really fun game. This one has some pretty solid gameplay at its disposal but there isn’t much content even for a NES game so you won’t be here for very long.

There are 5 levels in the game, 10 if you count the reverse levels. Each level is around 1.5 minutes long so you can beat the game in about 7 minutes or 14 if you play them all. That’s really not a lot of time and there are no more modes to play. The only other option is a level that goes on forever which is neat I suppose, but there’s no real replay value to it because it doesn’t keep track of a score or anything. You can’t die, you just keep on driving forever. So if you spent any coins on this in the Arcade I get the feeling that you would be disappointed. Likewise if you bought a physical copy on the NES. You just need something more to do if you ask me.

The graphics are pleasant enough. It’s a colorful game and I especially like when the other racers get involved. It’s always more fun when you’re racing with actual opponents. You can knock them down if you bump into them while you are mostly ahead. Otherwise if you bump into them then you will just be knocking yourself over so it’s all about timing. Only knock them off balance when you have the lead. Beyond that just drive while going between lanes to dodge obstacles. Jumps can be tricky and if you don’t balance yourself right then you go into a tumble animation and can’t move for a few seconds.

In general I do think 3D racing beats 2D though. I always like to see where I’m going to better anticipate the obstacles. In that sense I would consider 2D racing to be the hardest form of the genre. It can also be tough when you’re running towards the screen since you really have to react quickly. If you don’t then be prepared to suffer defeat although in this game there is no such thing as defeat so you don’t really have to worry about that. Considering when the game came out I’d say they did a good job with the gameplay. I personally found it fun enough, I just don’t think I would be playing it for very long. After even 20 minutes you’ll have played every level twice already so you’ll be ready for the next conquest.

Overall, Excitebike is a game with solid gameplay and animation for its time. It’s reasonably fun, but there is just nothing to it. Even for a NES game this is pretty low on content. I’d like to see a modern reboot of the game because I think you could do a whole lot with this on the Switch. In the meantime if you have the Switch Online then this is a pretty good pickup. It’s free anyway so you may as well play it for a few minutes right? I see that there is another Excitebike type game on the list so I look forward to checking that one out pretty soon.

Overall 5/10

Ice Climbers Review


It’s time for the next NES installment. This one’s actually a pretty big one and I’m sure that thanks to Super Smash Bros everyone knows about the Ice Climbers. Unfortunately I wouldn’t say that this game has aged nearly as well as some of the others. The gameplay isn’t very smooth. Effectively this is like a platformer where the obstacles prevent you from doing any kind of platforming. As a result the game ends up fighting itself most of the time and isn’t nearly as engaging as it could have been. It’s more difficult to play the levels than fun to experience them.

The game seems to go on forever although the last unique level is 32. After that it loops back to the first one so you can effectively say that you made it to the end at that point. Fortunately in this version you can actually select any mountain you want. I beat the first 14 and then skipped over to 32 and conquered that one. You do get a certain sense of pride and accomplishment when beating these levels but adding some kind of reward of cutscene would have made all the difference here. Then you would really feel like you were moving up. Instead when beating the levels you’re just going through the motions.

The gameplay is like a normal platformer instead you’re heading up instead of to the fight. The goal is to jump up to the top of each floor. Each floor has 8 layers to it and every time you jump you will hit the next layer. The main obstacles are moving clouds and little bears that keep patching the holes in the ceiling that you make. By jumping you can break part of the roof and that’s how you get up so you need to go fast or the bear will plug up every hole around. If he does that then you’ve just gotta keep on making more holes. You can also whack the bear with a hammer to beat him if you’re on the same level. One thing that’s easy to forget is you don’t die by running off the screen to the right or left so you should do that if you think the other side of the stage will be easier to manage. You can’t jump very far so running off stage is often the best way to travel.

The graphics are pretty solid and definitely hold up better than lot of the NES counterparts. The character sprites and backgrounds are particularly solid here. There’s only one real theme that I can recall but it’s pretty catchy. It’s not exactly Mario or Metroid but it’ll certainly due. At least it adds a little more depth to climbing up the mountain floors over and over again. The actual gameplay isn’t bad, but it would have been a lot more fun if it was more traditional running to the right. Going up just didn’t work for me after a while and in the final levels you can barely move without falling the wrong way. You gotta go about everything super carefully.

Overall, The Ice Climbers is a reasonable game, but one where the obstacles are just too numerous and intrusive. No matter what you do there is always another cloud or enemy around the corner. What this means is that you just can’t focus on running for very long. You’ve got to stop in your tracks more often than not and that’s what really held the game back in the end. I think this game should get a modern sequel/remake as there are a lot of ways you could make this work with today’s graphics and gameplay mechanics. No reason the Climbers should have to end the franchise with just 1 game in the works. In the meanwhile I’d recommend starting your NES Online game selection with a different title. This isn’t exactly the top one in the market.

Overall 5/10

Punch-Out!! Review


It’s time to look at the original Punch-Out game. It’s always good to see where these various Super Smash Bros fighters originally came from. I played through the remake version for the Wii a while back so now it’s time to see if the original holds up. I’d definitely say that it does although some of the opponents are pretty crazy. Good luck taking them down without the rewind feature. The special abilities are pretty creative and couple that with the story and you’ve got yourself a pretty fun NES game.

The goal of course is to get Little Mac to the title of World Champion. To do that you will have to battle your way through 3-4 different circuits and really start to take names. Each match has 3 rounds and you need to either beat the opponent with a really solid counter hit or drain all of his health 3 times. Keep in mind that you will need to do this before the 3 minutes are up or else it will go to time and the referee always picks the defending fighter. That means the deck is stacked against Little Mac, but that’s just the way he likes it. When things are at their bleakest is when he steps up and shows the world what’s up.

The controls are pretty simple. You can punch with your left or your fight, you can do a high punch with either, and you can dodge side to side. There’s also an option to block by holding down. Don’t just start punching all crazy like though or you’ll run out of hearts which leaves you stunned for quite a long time. That’s a good way to lose a fight but there aren’t really any other benefits to doing that. You want to keep the opponents honest, but not at the expense of the match. What you want to do is wait for the opponent to launch a move and then counter with one of your own. Sometimes that means attacking right before the opponent connects or dodging and then attacking. You’ll have to find out through trial and error here.

I will say that the toughest super attack to deal with in my opinion is the tornado of doom. The villain spins around in a circle really quickly and attacks you around 5 times or sometimes even more. You have to block each hit by blocking and then letting go real quick. The tough part is that this still deals damage so if you were already pretty low then you will not survive such a combo. Sometimes ironically the best thing to do is let the opponent KO you because it will end their super attack a lot sooner and this way you will still have some time left on the board. The timer is actually your biggest enemy here and you should make sure you don’t forget that.

One thing that helps to make the game feel a lot more thorough than some of the others that have popped up is how your coach gives you little tips and quotes between rounds. The villains also talk a bit which is cool because it gives the game more of a plot beyond the ole “defeat them all” kind of moments. This feels more like a first party Nintendo game and I can see why people loved Nintendo from the start. Their games just did seem to have an extra dimension of effort and content behind them that the rivals just didn’t have. You couldn’t get that Nintendo seal of quality on just about anything. Punch-Out is one game out of many that really benefited from this.

Overall, Punch-Out!! is a really fun game. As with most of the other titles here at the time there isn’t a lot to do, but the gameplay is fun which is what counts. You can probably clear all of the levels in under 2 hours but it’ll have been a fun two hours. Factor in that you can play this game for free on the Nintendo Switch Online and you are in for a pretty great time. I’m definitely up for a new installment on the Switch someday.

Overall 6/10

Super Dodge Ball Review


It’s time for another retro NES game and I have to give this one major props for actually going above and beyond the game. You actually get to travel to another dimension in the final levels and the game gets a bit supernatural. I mean, you’re probably not playing a Dodge Ball game for that, but it’s still a nice addition if you ask me. You get to fight all of the other countries during the Arcade Mode and the final boss takes you into space. Then there is an extra bonus challenge where you fight zombie versions of your characters. It’s like looking into a mirror and fighting your distortions which I was not expecting in a game called Super Dodge Ball.

In a way the retro sprite style helps to build the atmosphere. It’s like how Undertale changed the game for most people with what you could do with sprites because of the atmosphere. It’s possible that if this game was more polished it wouldn’t look quite as intriguing with the backdrops because maybe it’s not meant to be space or your shadows in the final level. It’s all in how you interpret it, but I was definitely impressed. The gameplay took a little time to get used to though. I had to look up the controls online but after that I was ready to dominate. It’s actually a lot of fun and I always thought Dodge Ball looked pretty fun in real life as well.

The goal is of course to tag your opponent with a dodge ball at top speed which will take some of their health away. You win when you’ve tagged all 3 of your opponents enough times for them to be knocked out. When they throw the ball your two options are to catch the ball or dodge. Catching is the best way to counter though because dodging usually lets the ball get back to the opponent on a convenient bounce. Also in this ruleset catching the ball doesn’t tag out the guy who threw it, but it does give you possession back which is very helpful. The controls are also pretty in depth with each character having several super moves.

You can use a running start to throw a softball at the opponent or you can jump and fire a spiral shot. There are quite a few moves but my favorite is the running jump super charge. If you land that you can deal around 30 damage compared to 2-3 for standard shots. It’s also hard for the opponent to dodge. If someone tries it on you I recommend trying to jump out of the way. You can jump really hard in this game but the catch is that you can’t move after jumping so if they pretend to throw but don’t then you could be in quite a bit of trouble there. It gives the game extra depth.

I think you can already see why this is one of the better NES sport games. For sure I can say that it has more personality than a lot of the others and you can really feel the care and passion behind this one. The gameplay is actually a lot of fun once you really get the hang of it so I recommend looking up the controls to make sure you enjoy this one. If you don’t know how to play then there is definitely the chance that you will give it a thumbs down and that would be unfortunate.

Overall, Super Dodge Ball is a fun title. The length and amount of content are naturally quite limited, but even if you just play it for a quick playthrough it’s worth the experience. There aren’t a lot of dodge ball games out there so it’s also pretty unique which is a plus as well. Throw in the fact that there is virtually a story mode and you’ve got yourself a winner here. This is definitely one NES game that I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

Overall 6/10