Tag Archives: Remake

Road House (2024) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I saw the original Road House not too long ago so now it was time to see if the remake could win. You never really know with these things but in this case I can safely say that it wasn’t even all that close. This one was just the better film all around. It’s certainly not amazing or anything like that but just had a better time, a more fun atmosphere, and certainly a more satisfying ending.

The movie starts off by showing us how Dalton is such a feared fighter that nobody wants to battle against him. Well, it seems to be part of an elaborate scam as well but the point is that he’s good at what he does. At this point he has hit rock bottom though thanks to some dicey moments in his past. Just when he’s about to end it all, he gets invited to be a bouncer at the most dangerous club in America. Dalton agrees to take on the job but it turns out to be even more dangerous than he would have guessed. He is outnumbered and the rowdy folks have guns. Can he really protect everyone?

Now make no mistake, Dalton would be dead in 5 minutes if the villains were serious. They constantly run up to him in close quarters so he can slap away their guns or get sloppy from long range. In a hand to hand fight he can certainly mess them up but these guys have the cops in their pocket and have a ton of clout. Enough where they could have easily just made him disappear in a night instead of going through the whole show. So we’ve got a whole lot of plot armor here but it doesn’t take away from the film being pretty fun.

Dalton is one of those supremely confident fighters who always has a smirk on his face. He tries to pretend that he isn’t a big shot but it’s a rather half hearted attempt where he keeps just enough of a smirk to know that he’s not serious. He’s probably not someone you can count on as a reliable friend but he does a good job of protecting the bar. You just can’t expect him to essentially be taking on an entire town’s worth of villains trying to break the doors down.

The one time you will probably think he sold out on the heroes is when he is having a drink near the end while everyone is getting absolutely destroyed by the villains. One guy gets his head slammed into a counter, another is getting his arm broken, etc. All the while Dalton is just watching. That part didn’t really make any sense. His counterpart, Knox is on the other side beating everyone up and Dalton is just watching?

When you have a battle between two forces and each one has one alpha fighter, they have to take each other out of the equation. If one has their top fighter going up against the middle ones, then of course it is going to end very badly. I otherwise didn’t blame Dalton for wanting to leave midway because this did seem like a never ending fight that was not going to go his way.

In this film, Dalton also doesn’t have any real backup. He has to handle everything himself which isn’t easy. At first when Knox showed up I thought he was going to be the ally but it turns out that he is the most twisted out of all the villains. I suppose that first scene should have clued me in right away but I figured it was just to show how intense he was. Knox does make for a really good villain though. His accent can feel super exaggerated at times but it’s possible that he really sounds like that.

The guy is an absolute beast in battle and he can really hang with Dalton in a fight. Dalton is probably just a tad more skilled one on one but it’s close enough where the fight could go either way. No other villain is on Knox’s level here just like none of the heroes are on Dalton’s. The main villain is technically Ben but the guy is out of his depth the entire time. He comes across as really spoiled and whiny. He’s certainly not the mastermind type here.

For the heroes, unfortunately none of them really get big roles. At one point Dalton hires a guy who likes to fight a lot so I figured he would be really tough but instead he ends up getting an absolutely tiny role and never gets the big wins you would have been expecting out of him. I suppose he can still defeat the basic enemies but that’s not going to make a big difference here.

There is also the owner of the bar, Frankie but she doesn’t do much either. She talks tough and you figure she may find a way to back Dalton up but nah she just watches the whole time. I was really hoping she had some kind of trump card to show why she was so confident. Without one, it feels like she just got lucky since the villains could have bumped her off at any time. She seems to live at the bar so it’s not like it would be tough to find her.

There is also Charlie but she’s mainly just around to give Dalton a motive to keep on fighting. I don’t think it was smart to try and fight a bunch of armed adults. I know it was supposed to show how brave she was but that is definitely a point where you’re just being dumb. Her father had the right idea in escaping for that specific circumstance.

Then there is the heroine Ellie. Can’t say I was a big fan of hers. She doesn’t like violence but still decides to get with Dalton and moves so fast even he points out that this doesn’t make any sense. She is helpful in getting him to escape from the corrupt cops but I would have liked her to have been a little more helpful in the end. The romance was ultimately not all that goo and she should have had a role beyond that.

The fight scenes are interesting because the camera angles are really crazy. It felt like all of the fights were digitally altered or something with how the characters appeared. Maybe an odd frame rate? Either way there was something surreal about the fights. They were still pretty good but you didn’t really feel any of the impacts between the characters. The fights could still get rather bloody but weren’t super intense.

I’d still give the film a thumbs up for the action though. The film is very fast paced so there is always something going on. The violence can be a little over the top at times so you should keep that in mind. This is definitely not a film for younger audiences. The film’s light hearted tone can certainly make it feel that way at times but you can bet there are some violent deaths in this one.

Overall, Road House is significantly better than the original film. If you’re up for a film with a lot of action then this will be right up your alley. The deck is stacked incredibly well against the main character so you will have to expect some plot armor though. Realistically Dalton would have been dead early on in this adventure. There just isn’t anything he can do when even the cops are on the villains’ side. Still, he fights hard and does his best. The film also does show that he is rather crazy so that helps to show why he won’t just back down even when he is outnumbered. Dalton will continue fighting on til the end and I’ll be curious how the sequel plays out.

Overall 6/10

Piranha (1995) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those films that feels like a waste of time. Why would you make a film that is essentially a 1-1 adaption of the original movie? If you’re going to do a remake of something, it should be with what you envision as improvements to the source material or perhaps just fixing a bunch of plot holes. When you just copy over most of the script and everything, it comes across as just plain lazy. Unfortunately it’s not like the original film was any good either.

The movie starts with two teenagers deciding to share some bad decisions as they jump into a body of water and get eaten by piranhas. This takes us over to Maggie who has been hired to find out what happened to them. This area is in the middle of nowhere so she asks for help from Paul, a guy who prefers to be apart from humanity and their crazy shenanigans. Well, that’s not in the cards now as the two of them discover a huge conspiracy involving government funding and powerful piranhas. Will they be able to stop these creatures?

Yeah if you saw the first film then you basically know how this one plays out. Mainly this one is just edgier the whole time but that’s about all it has to offer. The deaths all tend to be extremely violent and brutal. Additionally, the film has to resort to cheap fanservice on multiple occasions. It really has nothing to do with the story so this is just here because the writers are not confident in their own scripts to pull this off. Additionally, they don’t even bump off the creepy director as he somehow lives through the experience in one of the film’s few gag scenes. Bit of an odd choice.

Maggie is a decent main character. She may come off as a bit hostile to start the film but considering that there are potentially dead teenagers around, I get why she would not be in a particularly good mood here. She doesn’t do well in the opening action scene against Leticia but the same is true of Paul. That was actually a pretty decent fight as Leticia cleverly used the surroundings to her advantage and was easily dominating the 2 v 1. She just underestimated them in the end.

Leticia’s definitely not a great character though as she easily could have explained things instead of immediately entering a murderous rage. While her character arc is meant to end on a rather heroic note, it fell flat for me because it just didn’t make sense. Hopping into the water was a guaranteed death and they were better off trying to paddle a bit faster to the kid who was still on the surface. If anything they could have destroyed him accidentally by tipping it over.

Then we have Paul who is rather jaded and you could argue that the film proves him right here. He doesn’t care much for people and then he has to enter a world where there are giant cover ups and lots of corruption everywhere. It’s no wonder that he wanted to live on his own so he could at least try and avoid it. In the end, he did his best once it counted so he was fine as the reluctant hero type. Not a character that really stands out but he wasn’t bad.

Finally we have the main villain Randolph and I actually thought that they did a good job with him. This guy doesn’t play around and embodies being as evil as possible right from the jump. Not every character would be able to pull that off after all. Yeah he’s a bit cheesy and perhaps over the top but that’s the best way to handle these rich types of villains. If they played him too seriously then it probably wouldn’t have worked as well.

He’s the right blend of competent and sarcastic throughout the movie. The way he goes out is rather underwhelming though. Of course, the film could have 100 amazing villains but it wouldn’t save it when you consider all of the prior negatives as well as the fact that they squeezed in a dog for a particularly violent death. Yeah that scene meant that the film was absolutely going to be doomed. There is plenty of violence everywhere in the film as it is, why add the dog to the mix? It’s the kind of scene that feels like it’s just there for max shock value.

I can’t say that there are many positives to be had about the film at all. The main villain might be the biggest rain of sunshine here. Otherwise, I suppose the film isn’t terribly long so it doesn’t really drag on. The pacing is all right and I wouldn’t say that the writing is particularly awful. It just has to throw in way too many distractions and annoying moments at all times that continue to chip away at the movie from start to finish. Hopefully one day we will actually get a good Piranha movie but I have my doubts.

Overall, Piranha is still a terrible movie. I would highly advise you to stay away from this one. It’s just too mean spirited and nothing about it ends up being a satisfying watch. Instead the longer the film goes on, the more you will end up shaking your head this time. There aren’t very many evil animal films that I can even recommend because almost inevitably they end up faltering. They just don’t have a whole lot of potential right from the start because the evil animals will usually bring a whole lot of animal violence with them. Then you have to factor in that this is basically a slasher film and those never end up being very good anyway.

Overall 1/10

The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009) Review

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The original Pelham film was definitely a solid one and I had pretty good hopes for the remake as well. The story has a strong foundation after all so I don’t see any reason why the remake would be any different. You’ll be pretty engaged the whole time with what’s going on and while the original would still take the win, this one can definitely hold its own. The film has to succeed in spite of the technical aspects that threaten to hold it back though.

The film starts with Ryder and a bunch of other terrorists running into a train and taking it over. These guys are professionals and trap it in the middle of a tunnel. It will be difficult for anybody to get in there and do much of anything now. Their demands are simple, they want 10 million dollars and they want it in 1 hour. The MTA employee who gets the call is Garber and so you can say that he’s really drawn the short straw here. He’s been dealing with a lot himself as he was demoted after being accused of taking a bribe. Garber declares that he is innocent but the investigation is still ongoing. If anybody dies during this event, it won’t exactly help his case.

There is a lot of tension the whole time since the majority of the film is really about the conversation happening over the phone. Garber is trying to prevent anyone from dying but of course he ultimately doesn’t have much control over that. He is dealing with somebody who is absolutely crazy and so you can never tell exactly how such an encounter will go. There is a professional hostage guy here to help out but even for him this is ultimately a bunch of guesses based on prior experience. The same tactics don’t always work.

Over the course of the film the villain begins to feel a connection with Garber as two men who were betrayed by the system although he never actually gets through to Garber to see it that way. Garber won’t let himself be pulled into the lies and the only time I would say he really faltered was when he allowed Ryder to dictate the terms and make him confess to a crime. I was originally thinking Garber would just fake it in order to appease the guy but I guess in the end he just wasn’t very innocent here. That part was too bad since it would have been nice if he actually did have everything together and didn’t make such a big mistake. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes of course but it would have been a good way for Garber to break away from the narrative that he was similar to Ryder in any way.

Regardless since it’s under duress I assume the confession couldn’t be used for much. Garber definitely takes a lot of real chances during the negotiations and of course it is a lot easier to backseat drive than to be in the situation. Ultimately I think you can never go anywhere with terrorists and you have to try going out fighting. Take out the gun and at least nail one or two of them. Inside of the train, one guy ultimately can’t think of a plan and just tells the villains to shoot him. They oblige and it was nice that he took the bullet for another passenger but if you’re going to die anyway, I say you should at least make a play for the gun.

Your odds are slim but at least they’re not 0 like when you give up. The instant you give up is when it is all actually over. You have to prolong that period for as long as you can. I would also bring up the numbers advantage but realistically you can’t count on any of the passengers. Odds are that they will fold or back out when the going gets tough. So if you make a move, it’s with the understanding that you really could die there. Not an easy thing to have to contend with.

As for the villain himself, Ryder was definitely real unhinged. The guy was smart enough to have a big plan and everything but it was definitely clear that he wasn’t afraid to die either. He was taking a big swing and absolutely did not want to live through any outcome other than victory. So he really made sure that winning or dying were his only two options. Most of his speeches ultimately come down to the crazed ramblings of your average villain but they’re still entertaining enough. The film did a good job of showing just how unhinged the terrorists can be.

The Mayor also has a fun role here. He’s definitely not the nicest guy but he has quite a bit of backbone in this version and can back up his tough talk. The guy has a lot of unhappy constituents but he does try to help in the end. Additionally I appreciated that he had Garber’s back in the end. It seems like otherwise everyone was going to railroad him even after helping out during the adventure which would have been annoying considering just how many risks he took by this point. It would have been such a bad look for everyone.

I will say that part of the ending was a bit contrived though. The film really wanted to finish off on a personal note but it relies on plot armor with the cops not making any kind of move. Realistically I would have expected either Garber or both him and the villain to have been shot. It’s rare to see the cops just standing around while actual gunfire goes out. I get the overall message but they could have implemented it better.

The only particularly weak part of the film is the soundtrack and directing though. The opening song is so bad that you’re just rolling your eyes the whole time. Then for the directing, there is way too much slow mo to the point where you think your TV is starting to lag. Then you have the zoom ins when people talk as if this is a comedy show. The film is doing a whole lot but none of it really services the film. I would have removed all the freeze frames, all the slow mo, and definitely had less camera shaking during the event. These things just felt like elaborate distractions and they did not pay off.

Overall, This was a pretty fun movie. It keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time and the writing was really solid. In the ending I would have liked Garber to have gone home with a whole gallon of milk but you can’t have everything. It takes a very different approach from the original film in different ways and that does help to keep things fresh. It means that you have a good reason to watch both versions of the film since they won’t be ultra similar to each other. As long as they can keep it fresh, I’ll welcome more versions of the story.

Overall 7/10

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Whenever you’ve got a film with the word affair in the title then you know that you might be in trouble. Naturally the word doesn’t have to inherently be bad but it’s usually used in a negative context. The film is basically about someone trying to pull a James Bond and just the concept of that plan is usually funny to me. Still, it does actually work in the real world even so I can’t really talk much about that. Ultimately the film lacks the good characters to make this a success and the romance is particularly weak.

The film starts off with a rare painting being stolen from Thomas Crown’s museum. It was worth tons and the insurance company might have to pay for it. As a result they send in a lady named Catherine to oversee the whole thing. She will make sure that the company does not get ripped off here and she will locate the painting. She believes that Thomas did it himself. It seems a bit unlikely to the cops to put it mildly but she is convinced. So her plan will be to seduce him and then get the information. Will she really be able to reel in a rich guy who has everything so easily?

The first part of the plot that already starts you off on a skeptical note is Catherine’s idea that she can just seduce this guy like it’s easy. I have the same skepticism for many romance type titles and naturally the James Bond films as well. Sure there are some people that are extremely shallow like that but a super rich guy with unlimited options? At least have her break him down after several months or something but he immediately takes the bait hook line and sinker. Now you could argue that it’s just because he wants the thrills of a cat and mouse game but to me it seems like he liked her right away with how sharp her personality is.

Then the rest of the film continues the cat and mouse game while they mess with each other the whole time. There’s a subplot where Thomas has a psychiatrist who confirms how he can’t trust women and all that. Well the film seems to confirm his suspicions as Catherine tries to mess him over several times. If anything the movie seems to make the case for Thomas on why he can’t trust anyone too much. The instant Catherine feels betrayed she tries to completely ruin his life by exposing his theft.

I mean…that was her job the whole time but it’s clear by the end that it’s super personal now. She refuses to listen to him at all and just goes back to her own thing. Then by the end when the misunderstanding it cleared up she is desperate to be with him again. Catherine jus seems incredibly unstable and I don’t see things going well for the two of them. The original film had the much more satisfying ending as a result and I couldn’t stand by this one. The reason is because I wasn’t a big fan of the romance in general despite how much the film tried to present it as a decent one.

I do like the whole enemies to lovers trope when handled right but this one didn’t convince me. As much as I was going on about Catherine not being the most reliable or trust worthy, the same is true for Thomas of course. The whole film is happening because he was bored and wanted a thrill after all. You better hope he doesn’t get bored of romance either since he seemed like a real player back in his day. That is definitely one of the big downsides of being super rich. It’s a bit of a meme as everybody would usually like to be rich anyway but I can see how life can get dull if you don’t find anything to give you purpose.

Also to make the romance even worse, we have the head cop in charge of the case, Michael. This guy is absolutely desperate for Catherine from his very first scene and it’s obvious that she is not into him at all. She gives him a pity kiss later but I wish the guy had been a little bolder and just created some distance after the first attempts failed. Lets keep this professional right? This film is the definition of unprofessional as nobody was able to really keep to the job but it’s probably the worst for Michael. Catherine at least had the excuse of this being part of her plan and Thomas was using this as a way to gauge Catherine but Michael should have at least been objective.

Now in terms of the heist itself, it does stretch your disbelief at times. I find it hard to believe that nobody noticed the CEO sliding under the door to steal the painting early on. The film’s excuse for this would be how crowded things were and to an extent I get that but it’s still a bit of a stretch. Likewise when the painting was returned later on. The ole switcheroo was pretty clever though and I didn’t really have any problems with that one. I did enjoy all the “magic” and planning even if the resources and time to pull that off are also tricky. Thomas obviously has the money but finding enough people willing to take a fall and potential jail time? With enough money you can pretty much do anything but you can also count on at least one guy to get cold feet and go to the cops.

I’m not really an artistic person myself so I always wonder how paintings can really go for millions of dollars. I’d sooner buy into the conspiracy that the whole art market is just a front for money laundering than actually thinking someone would value the piece so highly. Talent is talent and some people are truly gifted at it but millions for any piece of art seems absolutely crazy. I’m also not particularly entertained by walking around a museum to look at paintings. That seems like the kind of thing you would endure for good company.

So the main appeal of the movie is about the heist and the cat and mouse games. That is when the movie is at its best but the rough romance really holds it back. There’s just no way this will work out and the romance is more of a show over tell kind of experience. So not only was I not convinced but the movie spends a lot of time on the romance only for me to still be shaking my head the whole time.

Overall, I would still skip on this film. It’s an improvement over the first film but it’s still not a winner yet. At this point I think we need a live action version of Sly Cooper. That’s a film with a similar premise but 1000x cooler. You will still have the cat and mouse banter with the detective trying to catch the thief but it’s played in a much more interesting way. Until that movie comes out, I recommend playing through the games and you will quickly see why the Thomas Crown affair can’t quite compete.

Overall 4/10

Scarface (1983) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those iconic gangster films. In a lot of ways it tackles the classic rise to infamy type of story but takes its time with it. The film boasts a very impressive runtime of nearly 3 hours but as a result it can move rather slowly at times. I would also argue that Tony himself looks far less impressive in this version as he falls to the vices faster. Perhaps it is good in terms of not letting people accidentally look up to him but in the film’s context it does mean that he is considerably weaker than the original.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Tony and Manny who slip into the USA. They’re going to be starting out as bottom barrel thugs but Tony has dreams of rising up to the very top. He continues taking more and more risky jobs as he moves up the ranks. His ambition knows no bounds, the guy wants to own everything. He also falls for the wife of his boss. If he’s told no about anything then Tony wants it, that’s the way he lives and how he plans to move until his death.

Obviously this does mean that this is one of those films where you are rooting for the cops to take him down. Tony is a villain through and through. He has some moral scruples compared to other gang members but the guy is still a mass murderer who does whatever he feels like. He gets addicted to drugs to the point where he can barely focus on anything. So he becomes someone whose personality flips on a dime. He’ll blow up out of nowhere and this makes him a very dangerous leader.

It’s a bad mix when you’re in a sudden death career like being a mobster while also being completely addicted to drugs. He’s basically taken in by all of the bad vices and is too far gone to ever go back. Meanwhile there is a subplot where he doesn’t want his siter to go down this path so he gets very demanding in terms of what she can or cannot do. He seems to want her to be alone for her whole life and to just stay indoors. It’s not a particularly reasonable position and so she makes things go pretty badly for him as well although I would have liked her to have finished him off. Instead she just completely cracks in this version which isn’t satisfying in the slightest.

Tony goes around betraying everyone all the time so he doesn’t have many loyal allies by the end. There’s his best friend but then Tony gets upset because of his sister being involved so that’s it for that. Again Tony is really burying himself at this point. Even his obsession with Elvira shows how bad Tony is at making the right decisions. Why would you ever want to get together with a girl who flat out does not like you? She only likes the money and status which isn’t a good idea for a relationship.

This even happens in real life as there are a few people who keep getting passed around in an endless cycle because I guess everyone wants to prove themselves but it seems like a terrible idea. With his influence Tony could have had a whole lot of options but no he wanted the lady who was already married. Elvira may not be a good person in the slightest but I still put most of the burden on Tony here for trying to break up the marriage from the start.

The film has some violent moments to be sure. It doesn’t mind having some blood spray during the gunfights and there is the axe moment. In this case you can count on people being shot in non combat situations as well like the scene where Tony shoots one of the passengers in his car. You probably shouldn’t double cross the leader of a mafia boss like that. Tony said he doesn’t murder kids and so he took steps to enforce this position. It was a good scene for Tony amidst a mountain of bad moments but we’ll take what we can get here.

I feel like the police had a smaller role here than in the original film despite the longer screentime. Yes we’ve got the corrupt cop but we don’t get the perspective of the main police force hunting this guy the whole time. That could have helped this film by giving us some tangible characters to root for. It’s why films based around the villains are always fighting an uphill battle. Unless the villain is super charismatic or has a goal that you can empathize with then you run the risk of the film just being too dreary. This one never really gets past that to make the case on why you should really be invested in the title. Just give me one really likable character and that could change things at least a little but the movie never really does that.

Overall, Scarface may be an iconic film but I wouldn’t say it’s all that good. It does show off the rough life of a gangster and it’s not like you have any real sympathy here because they are all bad apples anyway. This is a life that they completely chose for themselves after all. Now they have to contend with the dark side of their own career. The more that Tony loses, the happier you get as the audience. At the same time, this is just not a happy film. It’s a very serious one that just keeps on going and so when the film isn’t fun that takes a lot of the pop out of it. It’s hard to succeed under such circumstances. I’d recommend just watching the original one instead which handled the material a lot better.

Overall 4/10

Firestarter (2022) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would likely be more negative.

Firestarter is one of those films that has some interesting ideas but misses on the execution. It also has one of the most groanworthy endings in a minute. So this was definitely not going to make Firestarter the next big hit but hopefully at some point someone is able to really crack the code here. I also feel like Charlie was severely nerfed in this version but it’s been a while since I saw the first film.

The movie starts off with Charlie using her fire powers and then we get a bit of a disjointed origin as we see her parents going through a bunch of experiments. I thought this was a pretty interesting way for us to learn the info because everyone already knows how they would get their powers. So we should just jump around instead of watching it in real time. In the present, Charlie makes a big mistake and blows up part of a school so the heroes are now on the run from the evil organization. Will they be able to escape or has their luck finally run out?

This film is a reminder of just how hard it is to live your life on the run. Imagine being careful for years and years only for 5 minutes to wipe all of that out. It’s why you need to train and be ready to fight off possible invaders. This is my main problem with Andy who takes the route of wanting Charlie to live a normal life. So even knowing that there are powerful entities trying to reach her, he doesn’t make a move. Really not a smart move at all. I can blame him for a lot of what happened and the same goes for Charlie.

Vicky is probably the most tragic figure since she wanted Charlie to train and just got overruled the whole time. She should have definitely been training too though and would have ended up doing better during her battle. Since she had an injury the deck wasn’t stacked in her favor to begin with but a little extra power could have definitely helped out here.

Meanwhile I can’t say that I was ever a big fan of Andy. When it comes time for him to fight, he really doesn’t look very good. I think it was a big mistake to put his energies into illusions instead of directly trying to press Rainbird during their mental battle. Both ways keep the guy preoccupied only the latter has an actual chance of defeating him as well. It just makes a lot more sense in a fight. Andy’s abilities were limited enough where it definitely didn’t seem like he would win anyway. His final decision involving using his powers one last time was not bad though. I think given the circumstances it made sense even if it was a bit of a controversial moment.

Now for Charlie, she is just a kid so I’ll give her some props but that’s about it. She still should have known better than to try and call the cops. Blowing up in the school also wasn’t a good moment. She definitely needed more training but I would have expected her to have a better handle on things. Taking down an animal was not a good idea either. Yes, the film squeezed in animal violence which was not a good idea. The film uses it as foreshadowing for another moment but it was not good.

The movie lost more points there as well. But back to Charlie, she gets a lot of hype for her powers improving more and more but then by the end she isn’t able to melt past a basic hazmat suit? That was one of her worst moments here because that’s way too basic of a defense. If her flames are on pace to be nuclear, then she should be blowing these guys away. Then with the one opponent that she should definitely be trying to blow away, she ends up holding back. Without getting into specifics, it’s why the ending is pretty bad here.

It just doesn’t make any sense and weakens the main character as a result. It feels like several characters would have definitely been let down there. Also having her need any kind of help in the end takes away from her as a powerful weapon. It doesn’t seem like Charlie lives up to her own hype here. She gets some cool moments in breaking into the main villain’s base and taking on a lot of opponents but she also lets her guard down a bit too easily.

As for the main villain Jane, I almost thought she was a parody for a little while there. She is extremely unprepared and has no good plans throughout the whole film. Even by the end the way that she goes down is pretty embarrassing. She tries threatening a retired doctor and he doesn’t take her seriously either. She had no aura the entire time and since she is supposed to be the leader of this super serious mystery group, it doesn’t make the group look very good either.

Finally we have Rainbird who is back in the field one more time. It’s hard to say why he has much of a change of heart though because the whole time he is introduced as a rather ferocious fighter. It’s not like he ever loved the organization given how they tossed him aside but he also doesn’t seem like someone who would have had a lot of mercy either. By the end he should have kept on shooting and that would have opened the door for the heroine to counter and blow him away.

The secret organization also has a ton of pull with how they were able to jump in even after several police officers were gunned down and take control of the situation. Feels like that’s the kind of situation that would have gotten them forcibly shut down. The leader does reprimand Rainbird on this but otherwise it doesn’t look like there was more fallout. This is a story that could probably improve with a TV show approach since it could flesh out the world a lot better.

The soundtrack’s pretty solid for the movie at least. It has a bit of a mysterious air that works well with the scenes and it’s memorable. That’s more than you can say for most live action films so that is immediately a big win here. The special effects aren’t bad either. The fire looks pretty fun even if a little overly dramatic at times. The film can be randomly violent at times with some of the half burned scenes but for the most part isn’t super intense. Just enough to be noticeable though.

Overall, Firestarter is not a good movie. I would definitely say to give it a pass because it fumbles the ball on too many areas. It’s got an interesting premise but that’s just not enough for me to recommend this one. You have to get past the animal violence and the ending first which is a fairly tall order. You’re better off just watching the Fantastic Four instead to see someone using their fire abilities really well. Another version of this should have the kid be a bit older so then we could have a proper superhero type film.

Overall 3/10

A Christmas Carol (1984) Review

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The Christmas Carol is one of those classic stories that has been told many times over the years. It’s a story that will continue to be retold for generations because the whole thing is easy to understand and has a good moral at the end. You can’t ask for much more than that right? This one is a pretty solid adaption, I won’t say it’s the best or anything like that but I didn’t have any issues with it.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Scrooge who runs a really tight ship. He has earned a lot of money over the years and has decided that he won’t see any of it be squandered! No, he will work in a cold office if needed but the money will remain his. Everyone around him tells Scrooge to lighten up but he refuses. He heads home one night only to be visited by the ghost of his old partner. This ghost named Marley is trapped in chains and laments how his fate is already doomed but perhaps Scrooge can still be saved. He threatens Scrooge with visits from 3 supernatural creatures and then fades away. Scrooge aims to stay strong but these ghosts will use every trick in the book in order to get at him. Can Scrooge properly resist such an onslaught??

Now this version of Marley was a bit confusing. In the film they act as though he was a fairly nice guy and even in his speech it sounds as though he did use his money to help people out. So why is he trapped in chains and about to be doomed for all eternity? That part just didn’t seem particularly clear here. In a way they should have mentioned more about him being just as bad as Scrooge and not paying heed to the lessons which is why he’s in chains now.

Well after that the ball is in Scrooge’s court. Of course we all know the story by this point so the fun is in seeing how strong this Scrooge can be. Some of them break down almost immediately and side with the light while others make it to the end. I would say this was one of the tougher Scrooges. He made it midway through the second ghost before really breaking down. This version of the second ghost was also one of the most aggressive ones as he actively threatened Scrooge so you have to keep that in mind as well. Often times the ghosts try to be a little more subtle than that.

Scrooge was basically someone who took things a little too far. Nothing wrong with deciding to live a quiet life of not spending any money if that’s what you want to do. It really just starts to get dicey with how he treats his partner. The reason why Scrooge is a character that still works though is because he’s not too exaggerated. You could argue that the way he treats his partner is the only thing that is objectively bad. He does other things that may not be socially popular but he’s not breaking any rules or actively murdering people. And as he points out during the movie, he was ultimately able to achieve these riches in part due to his lifestyle.

He sacrificed a lot to get to the top such as his relationships and family. He basically became a loner and at the end of the day he doesn’t really have anything important in his life other than money. He’ll end up having a lonely existence and that’ll be that. It is still a little surprising to see how Scrooge is surprised by this outcome though. Surely that was just part of the choices he made right? I’d have expected him to realize that he would be all alone in death since he actively did his best to make sure he had no friends in life.

Meanwhile the families may have all been upset at Scrooge even to the end but it makes sense. From their point of view this change of heart is incredibly sudden. His nephew was really glad at Scrooge’s presence the whole time since he had always held out hope for this but the others will take some time. Ultimately Scrooge is in a good place in the present and now it’ll just be a question of where he draws the line. He has a fortune large enough to completely change many lives but of course he won’t be able to do that for everyone. Then he would run out of money and things would get dicey. For now we can at least be reassured of the fact that he will have a support network and friends to talk to.

As for the ghosts, they were all fun enough. Like I said the second ghost was a lot tougher this time around. He seemed to be the most sinister out of the 3 because he tries to have a nice facade the whole time until it breaks. That makes him incredibly suspicious. Then you’ve got the first ghost who could be a bit sarcastic at times but was trying to get through to Scrooge. Finally the third one is just hear to put some fear into him as normal. This may be a ghost of few words but he gets the job done. Considering how many people in the town are now saved, maybe Marley did deserve to break the chain and get a happy ending too.

Overall, A Christmas Carol is one of those films where you know all of the story beats so the critical factor is really in how well they are executed. I would say the film was handled pretty well overall. I didn’t really have any issues with it here. The whole story plays out well and it’s a classic uplifting kind of tale. I think the next really influential adaption will be another one to have a little fun with the format like Scrooged though. You gotta throw a wild card in there and yes it will be risky but sometimes you really have to take a risk in order to pull something like this off. Without that, the film is limited a bit by just how predictable it is. Still, check this one out and see where you stack it up among all the versions.

Overall 6/10

Trigun Stampede Review

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It’s been a long while since I saw the original Trigun so it was fun to check out this modern remake of it. It’s a very short series so it can’t quite tackle everything that the original could but does well in a compressed kind of way. Directly, I would say that the original did just about everything better than the remake but at the same time it’s been long enough where my memories of the original might be better than my experience was. I see that my review of the original wasn’t exactly glowing back then so it’s always fun to see how things have changed. Regardless, this one does a good job…even if it is CG!

The show starts by introducing us to Vash and Knives. They were raised by a nice lady named Rem but Knives ended up sabotaging the ship and basically causing everyone to die. Vash barely survived the incident and now he has to find Knives and put a stop to him before he hurts anyone else. Along the way Vash also repairs any generator that is run down and needing repairs. See, the world is effectively powered by these things and without them you can’t really get power, water, electricity, etc. You basically die without them. One lady was trying to grow plants so that they could create oxygen but everyone thinks that she is super crazy.

Also, unfortunately Vash is a wanted man with a huge bounty on his head. So he has to always be on the run. Despite this, he has managed to remain as a pacifist for all these years and really tries to never fight if he can help it. Obviously this is not an easy task by any means so definitely kudos to him for doing his best there. The problem is that when he is put into a situation where he needs to fight, he doesn’t always do well. Will Knives end up winning because Vash refuses to do anything?

In a nutshell that is my biggest issue with the remake. I felt that the first show had a much better balance of how Vash should be. Yes, he was a pacifist who never wanted to murder anyone but he was much more willing to fight and at least stop the threat. Knock someone out or capture them at least. Here, he spends a lot of time running around and dodging which lets innocent people get shot or put into harm’s way. Whereas the original Vash was a super prodigy who could stop anyone, this one feels like he gets by on pure luck most of the time. A great example of this is in the very first episodes.

So you have a crazy guy who wants to throw bombs around and destroy the town. Vash is messing around like always but you figure he has a great plan and won’t let anybody get hurt right? I mean he can’t just be acting up like this if he has no plan?….well that’s exactly what happens and it is supremely annoying. This is just disgraceful considering that we are counting on him here. In fact he runs out of bullets and it is only thanks to some quick thinking by Meryl that the town isn’t blown to kingdom come. It may seem like a minor thing but it’s quite major when you think about it.

See, a key part of Vash’s character is that all life is precious. He doesn’t care if you’re a law abiding citizen or a mass murderer, he’s going to try and protect you. He does this by honing his gun skills every day and making sure he is the absolute best so he can win every fight in a non lethal way. In the old show the only exception is Knives who Vash does fully intend to take down for good. He doesn’t have the same drive here at all unfortunately. So with Vash being clowned on here, it undermines his motivation because now he’s not going to actually save everyone. In fact, instead he’s just going to end up causing many more civilian deaths on a high order. This is not the way to go, not at all.

This keeps on happening in the show where it feels like they made Vash too extreme in his pacifism to the point where he’s just enabling the villains after a while and it nearly costs him everything. So while I grew to enjoy him in the old show, I didn’t really care for him here. It just helped to underscore why Wolfwood was a much better character. Wolfwood is the pragmatist here who does what needs to be done. Lets face it, he had a much worse childhood than Vash had. Wolfwood was tortured and experimented on for ages while basically losing everything. He’s blackmailed the whole series and still manages to help people out from time to time.

The biggest difference is that he will actually murder the villains when they are going too far. Wolfwood directly saves a lot of lives this way. Sure he may not be as heroic as Vash but to the people he saves that won’t end up mattering all that much. In a fight I think Vash would probably still have the edge here if he was going all out but if they’re both in character then I’m betting Wolfwood wins more times than not. He’s simply willing to go further and his healing factor is extremely good here. I actually think he seems more powerful than in the original version with how fast he heals from everything. He’s a great character through and through.

Meryl is a solid character here who is very gung ho and always ready for action. She disobeys orders several times in order to help the heroes out which I appreciate. It’s usually a problem if you follow orders too closely because then you lose sight of the forest for the trees. So I’m glad that didn’t happen here as it would have been a real problem. She may not be able to fight at a high level just yet but she does help out on multiple occasions and is a fun character to have around. She does a great job of being the B plot.

Meanwhile her partner Roberto is also a lot of fun. I admit that I can never take him seriously when he pulls the gun out on the more powerful villains but it is a fact that he has more experience than Meryl and helps her out on many occasions. I often disagree with his decisions but he does some of them in order to protect her. He’s rather jaded and seems to have lost faith in humanity a long time ago. It’s easy to see why with how messed up the world is in this series. It almost does seem like humanity is determined to mess up every planet in its way so you can see how that’s a big problem. So at this point he just wants to pick up his paycheck and keep his head down but having a partner like Meryl makes that impossible. They have a great dynamic going there.

From the flashbacks you have Rem who was a very solid character as well. It’s a shame that things didn’t go better for her. You could tell that she did her best to make the right decisions. Ultimately I wouldn’t put any blame on her, sometimes you do everything right and things still end up going badly. That’s just life in a nutshell after all. Finally you have Knives who is as sinister as ever but I did think that the show gave him more points this time around. Yeah he’s the antagonist but when he’s going up against the humans you’re rooting for him because of how crazy they are. It feels like every human immediately goes off the rails as soon as any accountability vanishes.

We see them torturing the plant life and Knives’ fellow friends all the time. Most of the humans don’t seem all that remorseful. We even have a whole episode to show how quickly they turn on Vash and the others when the going gets tough. Humanity can’t be trusted in this series and that’s a running theme. Vash simply chooses to help them out anyway. It definitely underscores what a nice guy he is but sometimes to a fault. Knives’ decision to massacre them all is extreme as well but is it much different than what the humans would do?

To the humans, Knives is simply a sentient plant. They wouldn’t bat an eye in murdering him the way they wouldn’t for a bunch of aliens. So to Knives the perspective is really the same here which makes sense. Whenever you make a villain like this with a solid backstory and make the humans relatively unlikable, it’s a little hard to root against him. Particularly when there are no solutions presented to combat his logic. He’s definitely one of the standout characters here and the show really made him a huge threat here, he’s even more powerful than in the first show.

Hamilton is one of those villains who reminds you why Vash is a little too lenient. If someone didn’t show up things were going to get dicey again. He’s one of the most underwhelming villains though. I couldn’t take him too seriously in a world where Knives and his gang exists. Legato barely gets to do anything in this series and he’s many times better. The guy’s gravity powers are really intense and he’s the kind of character who strikes fear into your heart the moment he appears. That is absolutely the kind of guy you want to have as a big antagonist.

Elendira appears for even less time and leaves more of an impact than Hamilton. I think there’s a whole lot they could do with her moveset. In general Knives’ group are very interesting and I would like to see more of them. You probably need to give Wolfwood and Vash at least one more powerful ally so they aren’t too badly outnumbered though. Otherwise that would really put them in a tough spot.

Then you have the villains who are victims like Rollo and Livio. Rollo is probably the most tragic character in the series. He was only a kid but due to Vash’s carelessness he had to go through a whole lot and really lost his mind. He’s a complete victim because he never had a choice in how his life ended up. Definitely sad all the way. Same for Livio who may have gotten to be older but he was molded since he was a kid so I’d say that the same thing applies to him. If anything he may have gone through even more pain than the other characters. It shows that the villains have to be taken out before they can do this to more people.

Finally there is Zazie who is a great wild card but doesn’t do as much as I would have liked. So you have the humans who crash landed on this planet a while back and the sentient plants who are trying to do their best to survive. There is a third party though, the creatures who already existed on the planet. They are led by Zazie although that might not be the right word. Zazie is the collective consciousness of these creatures and as a result he wields a ton of power. At one point he explains that whoever he decides to help will win the war which is a great speech. And then…Zazie doesn’t do much for the rest of the series. I really wanted to see him get a bigger role, maybe take on Vash and Knives. I suppose in a way you could say that he doesn’t have to do anything since he will exist as long as the planet does but that’s too passive. I want to see him do that because you can’t have one of the best scenes in the show and just vanish. That doesn’t work for me.

Stampede is interesting in how it’s a remake in a lot of ways while also working as a prequel. Now there are some obvious reasons you will note as to why this can’t totally work as a prequel after watching the whole series but the ending does add 2 ways that make it work. So the best way to think of this is as a completely different path that will be leading to new events. It’s as if you started a game and skipped most of the content in an attempt to speed run the final boss. Now the game is catching up so a bunch of the old missions will appear. It’s a really unique way to handle things and all in all I thought it was very interesting. It puts the sequel at a bit of a disadvantage since a lot of the best scenes are already here but I’m curious how it will go.

The series feels a bit darker than the original. The original had time for a lot of light hearted episodes and sequences in addition to the action but here because of the sped up format the series focuses more on the dark backstories for everyone. I feel like there are very few moments where the characters get to just hang out and have a good time. There is always something serious going on. At times the show can go a bit far with all of the violence and dark themes. You have quite a lot of people being tortured or dying some rough deaths. Most of the characters don’t really end up in a happy place by the end.

In fact, most of them have sad endings here. The very ending is actually really sad as well with how things went down. So get ready for a very emotional series. What helps at least is that the series never feels exploitive. It can be really heavy for sure but without overplaying the issue the way other titles were. So brace yourself to be sure but this series is still focusing on having a captivating story first and foremost. Perhaps one where you are rooting for the plants over the humans but that’s all in how you see it.

Now for the animation, a big thing here was that the show was going to be CG. Of course you know that means it won’t look as good as hand drawn but if it can still at least look pretty good in general then that wouldn’t matter right? I can satisfactorily say that it does look sharp. I would still say not as good as any of the hand drawn shows on the market but they tried pretty hard here. They do a good job of showing off Knives’ abilities here for sure. Vash’s arm cannon doesn’t look quite as good but that’s more on the story direction than the animation I would say. There are fun fights here and so in general they did the best with what they had.

For the ost…another forgettable one for the most part. The opening isn’t bad as it reminds me of the Tower of God opening. It fits the tone of the overall show. The tunes aren’t bad and there was one battle theme I liked but they could have gone a little harder on this end I’d say. Give me some really tense tunes and a bunch of opera type music. I think those would have worked really well with the show and made it even more exciting. Especially with the show’s deep themes you could have some Death Note kind of music in there and it would work really well. Maybe next time I suppose.

A final thing to note is the show spends a good amount of time on Vash’s backstory here. More so even than in the original show I’d say as outside of the whole situation with Knives we see how Vash was able to hang out with some humans for a while and how he actually knew peace for a while. It’s easy to forget but as a plant he is effectively immortal and he’s been around for a very long time. That can get awful lonely especially with the level of guilt that he is carrying. It gets really emotional with the group that he hung out with as well especially with so many secrets around. The whole show can get sad a lot of the time and this part is no exception. Again it shows how impressive it is that he is still so cheerful all the time and how he hasn’t broken down yet. I can at least give him that credit.

Overall, Trigun Stampede is a pretty good show. At times it can get a little on the violent side which just makes you mad at Vash every time since he could have done more to prevent these scenarios. Realistically you can’t blame him for everything though, Knives also deserves the lion’s share of the blame at the end of the day because he’s the one putting the gears into motion but Vash should have been better. The show has a good plot and it is very engaging though. The banter between Vash and Wormwood is as good as you might have guessed and I liked how many different parties got involved by the end. It’ll be difficult for a future season to match this one now that a lot of the big plots are completed but there is certainly room for the sequel. A lot of the internal debates like the rights for the sentient plants can continue to be a thing. Of course it does feel like a losing battle as long as the people in high positions tend to be humans. I’d recommend checking this one out and if you like it, then watch the original for the more fleshed out version.

Overall 7/10

Rollerball (2002) Review

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It’s time to look at the remake to the original film that I just watched. Seeing both versions on the same day definitely makes for a pretty interesting marathon watch. It’s safe to say that the original is better in just about every way though. This one has a very “Try Hard” feel to it from the start. It doesn’t seem like the creators had a ton of confidence in the story or writing so right out of the gate they’re having to add all this extra stuff and it doesn’t work.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jonathan who likes doing extreme things. He even races on a skateboard kind of device through the streets which looks extremely dangerous the instant he gets on it. Definitely not a very responsible thing to do and when the cops show up at his door, he figures it’s time to finally get into Rollerball. It’s an extreme sport filled with lots of danger. Think of it like Rollerbading meets Hockey and you’re zooming around trying to score while people are driving motorcycles and all violence is allowed. Jonathan has become the world champ here but there is a dark conspiracy afoot. More and more people keep getting injured and dying as the ratings go higher. Is there any way out of this?

I will also say that the remake tries to spell things out for you more than the first. In the first movie we never heard the exact rules of the game but you could just piece it together while watching. In this one we literally have a whole scene for the announcer explaining the rules. It’s not a bad idea by any means but it does give you a glimpse into what this remake is like right from the jump. Everything is less nuanced. The villains are super evil, complete with evil laughter and long winded speeches. The opposing teams are all in the dark as well and when push comes to shove they are ready to help. The body count is much smaller and things are allowed to be happier.

Hey, I’m all for a happier ending but the whole film just doesn’t work. Part of the problem is that this film takes place in modern days instead of in a dystopia. In the latter it is easy to excuse a lot of thing like nobody caring about all of the deaths since humanity was cooked a long time ago. In this case it doesn’t make sense that they’re still getting TV deals and becoming a huge hit. The instant the first death hits you are looking at tons of lawsuits and negative media coverage. Yes, the sport could continue but it would be more of an indie thing and not the massive mainstream audience with top ratings that we see here.

You can cut a bit of slack for this being in a foreign country and the standards are a bit more lax but the more the film goes on, the less weight this holds. You also have this company owning the border guards, and being able to do whatever they want. The host even takes out a gun and threatens the local media companies in the middle of a crowd. Alexi doesn’t care who sees him and this works in a dystopia but not here. So the film should have kept this in the future. It doesn’t make sense to be in present day.

Then to make things edgier, we have a ton of fanservice throughout the movie. The film wants to show us how depraved the villains are, so they’re all living out their fantasies degrading everyone and the scenes have absolutely no point to being here. It’s clearly a desperate attempt for more ratings and I dare say that it won’t work on the average moviegoer. Even having girls playing in this league makes no real sense with how violent it is. Another thing that I could have turned a blind eye to in a dystopia.

In fact, let me put on my conspiracy hat here for a minute. I think there are only two reasons why they added women participants to the sport for this remake. The first is for…you guessed it, more fanservice since they can add random locker room scenes. The other is just so they could throw in a big romance which would give Jonathan more motivation for later. The romance is pretty bad though, one of those really rushed ones with no real depth behind it. I’m sure the writers had a chuckle with the last line in the film as a callback to the first conversation with Jonathan and Aurora but it’s not enough to salvage the whole sub plot.

The actual Rollerball scenes aren’t bad but even this is not as good as the original which is crazy. It’s a case of trying to do too much. Now we have ramps, big jumps, you have to throw the ball into a goal instead of jamming it in there and the stage is much smaller. To make up for that, there are less players on each team but the whole thing just feels more convoluted and I can’t think of any way where it is quite as good. At most I can admit that throwing the ball into the goal would be more practical in real life but that’s it. The rest of the changes just don’t make much sense to me unless making the arena smaller was a budgetary constraint.

The cast is not particularly inspiring. Jonathan was annoying in the intro. He’s a decent guy but starting off as a delinquent isn’t great and in the whole climax he doesn’t have much of a plan except to try and murder as many of the opponents as possible. Only problem is that he’s super outnumbered so he has to be saved a bunch of times. It doesn’t make him look very smart. I don’t have any real issues with Aurora. She does her best to help Jonathan and make sure that he’s doing well while she makes the sacrificial play since she has family that she can’t leave.

It takes Ridley a little while to find his moral compass so he’s not as good but at least once he is in danger then the guy starts to move. So I can appreciate that a bit. Sure, it’s selfish and all but I can picture a lot of people making that call. You want to hope for the best to make all of the money until you can’t deny it anymore. Alexi’s a fairly generic villain. Not much to talk about with that guy, he’s okay at best.

His right hand man Sanjay is actually really interesting though. I could have used more screentime for this guy. He’s more ambitious than Alexi and smarter as well. He really thought things through and had a great scene near the end even if it didn’t totally end the way you would have expected it to be. He’s surprisingly the best character in the movie.

As a side note, the whole climax is easily the best part of the film, starting from when Jonathan breaks a window and challenges the villains. Suddenly it was like Jason Bourne where he is taking everyone on and using every object imaginable. He even has a Captain America type moment where he blocks a bullet. Yeah the editing is so bad that it makes Taken 3 look impressive as there are literal frame cuts so we see Jonathan teleporting around the map but we can assume he’s that fast. I was glad that we were getting some real action outside of the arena at least.

Overall, This film had a ton of problems. They range all the way from narrative ones to pacing issues and just plain ole logistical issues. It was trying way too hard in all the wrong places and so that was a recipe for disaster. It can be an entertaining movie for a while but by the end the negatives just racked up way too high to be overcome. Ultimately you are way better watching the first film over the remake. Trust me, this is one that you will definitely want to avoid if you are given the choice.

Overall 4/10

Nightmare Alley (2021) Review

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This is a review of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another remake as we step into the circus this time around. I have to say that the original film defeats this one much like the Death on the Nile original beat the remake. Ultimately this one hangs around a bit too long and just doesn’t manage to surpass the original on anything except visuals. The visuals are really solid after all.

So the movie starts out with Stan on rather hard times and he ends up joining a circus. He does odd jobs around the place and helps with one of the magic tricks. Eventually Stan grows ambitious and figures he can use the trick of fake psychic powers to get huge. He leaves the circus with Molly and they set off to light the world ablaze. It’s all going very well and they have a lot of money now but Stan gets jealous. He wants to be even richer and so he decides to forego the morals and start spooking people with visions of their deceased loved ones and things like that. Molly is completely against the idea and so Stan goes to a local psychiatrist named Lilith. She agrees to help him scam people and will even do him the favor of holding all of his money for him in her vault. That’s real generous. What can go wrong?

I’m going to be honest this part’s a little on the nose. Her name is Lilith like the succubus of legend. She is gladly keeping all of Stan’s money for him since she doesn’t care about material gains and all the while she is recording sessions with Stan where she breaks down his psyche to learn of his dark past. Along the way she’s also seducing him since the guy has no ethics as we’ve already established. Any red flags here? Gee….I can’t even….

So yeah Stan has it all coming to him and you can’t feel bad for him. You could argue that he was never a particularly nice guy but he was in a seedy environment and had to be tough. You can certainly understand that and I wouldn’t hold it against him. The main problem is of course the betrayal once he turns from Molly into the arms of Lilith and also getting so greedy. If he didn’t try so hard the guy could have just stayed plenty wealthy and lived a peaceful life. Instead he just had to get bigger and bigger and bigger as the risk kept growing as well. When you turn your backs on everyone for money that is always going to lead you down the wrong path.

Molly was a good heroine at least, she really tried to keep Stan on the straight and narrow. The thing is, at the end of the day you can’t really control someone else so either they want to do the right thing or they don’t. If they don’t then your hands are really tied the whole time. There’s just not much that you could really do about it. Ultimately she does eventually draw the line although it would have been great if she had left a little sooner and decided not to dress up at all.

Lilith is a pretty solid villain and probably the highlight character of the film. Yes she’s not a good person to say the least but I appreciated her cunning. A large portion of the film is Stan just messing with everyone and showing why he is the smartest guy in the room. Lilith was the first one to challenge that and so they have a meeting of the minds several times. It’s by far the most interesting part of the movie. You really feel like he’s on the back foot the whole time despite his bravado and how tough the guy thinks he is. He’s just not on the same playing field as her and it really shows.

Where the film really falters are all the scenes with the circus. It feels like the film doesn’t really get going until he’s out of the circus and into the city, yet that takes a very long time. A good chunk of the film is to set that up and all of those scenes are rather brutal. We see how Stan’s natural charm carries him far but the whole place is rather dreary and gritty. We also get the scene of eating a chicken which is pretty brutal. Obviously most of its not on screen but it’s set up enough where it’s still pretty bad. You definitely don’t want animal violence like that in any form.

The film’s ending is also leading up to this once again. Now I do think the ending is better than the original. This one leaves you some hope for some kind of master plan or a way for Stan to get out of this. Not that you’re really rooting for Stan by this point but you’re at least hoping that he avoids this fate because you wouldn’t really want that to happen to anyone. It’s a rough way to go and the laugh at the end could mean a few different things. I’d say it’s clear which way the film wants you to interpret it, as complete despair and acceptance but you could still maintain that maybe there is some grand master plan coming into play. After all Stan already knows the playbook to this so hopefully he wouldn’t be fooled so easily.

Overall, Nightmare Alley definitely shows you a circus that would give you nightmares. It can’t be easy having to live in such an environment and most of the people there are hardly around by choice. It’s a place of last resort but that doesn’t really make for an interesting film. Once we’re outside that and into the big city then the film picks up but not enough to overcome the intro. I appreciated the strategic element of the film and wish we had stayed to that more but ultimately this is not a film I would really recommend. I would much sooner say to check out the original instead.

Overall 3/10