Tag Archives: Retro

Alpha Flight Classic Volume 3 Review

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It’s been quite a while since I reviewed a comic hasn’t it? I admittedly read this a very long time ago at this point, but better late than never. The Alpha Flight has always been a fairly obscure team in the grand scheme of things and I can see why. I like just about all of Marvel’s retro comics and this one’s no exception, but it’s not exactly a page turner either. You’ll read through the adventures, but at the end of the day, a story about just about any other character would be more interesting. The team needs to either make the characters cooler or they should just add some new members. Either method would help to improve the comic series I’d say.

There are quite a few plot points here. One of them I had actually seen already. Due to the Hulk getting everyone mad at him once again, Dr. Strange banished him to the Crossroads. He was not thrilled, but at least he can’t hurt anyone there. Unfortunately, Box (Member of Alpha Flight) decided to help Sasquatch since he needed a new body but the probe brought back the Hulk, which lead to a devastating battle against the beast. As always, Hulk basically humiliated Alpha Flight, but I’ll give them some props for the effort. They gave it their all after all.

One of the big arcs is the one from the cover. The interesting part is that the cover spoils the big twist about the Guardian not really being the genuine article. Even I thought that he may have been real for a few seconds despite that, but it’s still odd. That was the best arc of the collection for sure. Omega Flight are the main villains and you can tell that there’s a lot of history between them and Alpha Flight. Their members seem fairly interesting as far as there abilities are concerned. I can’t say the same for their personalities, but that’s another story altogether. These guys were out of their depths, but they gave Alpha Flight a good fight and spiced up the collection a little. I’m always ready for a villain group that can be a nice counterpart to the heroes. Just look at the Crime Syndicate of America, even if Forever Evil really dropped the ball on this one by not letting the JLA fight them. Come on, the whole point of a group like that one is to watch Ultraman get to fight Superman. You’re throwing away easy money by not having that fight on screen!

Let’s talk about the characters. For the most part, each one gets a plot during this adventure, but most of them aren’t really interesting and don’t add much to the experience. Shaman is the wise member of the group whose mystical abilities let him get the team out of a hard spot once in a while. That being said, he loses his motivation after Talisman calls him out for tricking her into being a hero and who can blame her? There’s little reason to feel sympathy for Shaman and he’s under the weather for almost the whole collection. He’s just not a good character and if it wasn’t for the Beyonder, Talisman would be dead. Talisman got thrown into her Alpha Flight life and wasn’t prepared the way that the others were. She probably could have handled the whole thing a little better so lets not sugercoat things here, but she’s not a bad character. She can be a bit hard on Shaman, but he did permanently change her life and involved her in a game where the stakes are lethal, the superhero game. There’s little time for her to become a truly interesting character.

Puck is probably my least favorite member of the group and that’s saying something. It seems like he’s always looking for romance or at least pretending too as one scene hints that it’s all just an act. Either way, it’s an act that won’t help his character arc and his abilities are basically pointless in a fight so this guy needs an upgrade and fast. Heather is the new leader of the Alpha Flight since Guardian is gone, but I can’t say that she does a great job of it. She panics when Guardian appears out of nowhere and faints during a crucial moment which allows Omega Flight to fully infiltrate the base. The other members don’t respect her authority so she needs tyo find a way to get them in line. One problem with this is the fact that she has no powers and isn’t exactly at Batman’s level of hand to hand combat. I feel like the leader of a team has to at least be decently strong so maybe she really isn’t cut out for the job. At the very least, she needs to get over the Guardian’s passing and get a grip on the situation before it’s too late. Box can’t walk so he has to rely on a robot suit, which is definitely a rough deal. I’ll give him credit for never complaining about it and accepting the risks when in combat. If his robot body were to break, there’s a good chance that his psyche would as well so entering every battle can be dangerous.

Snowbird finally became a super powerful figure in these issues, which was interesting. Unfortunately, it also came at the expense of her personality as she became a little more distant and cold towards the other members. It’s hard for them to team up anymore because it’s hard to even trust Snowbird. Her new abilities are useful though and now she can attain the strength of the creatures that she turns into. She would really help the team now, but she quit right away so that she could learn what it means to be human. It’ll be interesting to see if this helps her to act more like her old self or if the new personality is here to stay. I’m fine with a distant Snowbird, but she may become a villain if she’s not careful.

Sasquatch gets a subplot with Aurora, but it doesn’t do anything for either of them. Sasquatch seems decently reasonable, but he should realize that Aurora barely cares about him as she’s always flirting with everyone else and really seems to have no class. Sasquatch can be a little mopey at times, but he’s not a bad member. I just feel like he made the wrong choice here. Aurora has a split personality so she’s almost like two characters. The problem is that none of them are likable. We have the really independent and free persona who is really terrible and then there’s the super timid form who can’t make any decision on her own. Both of them are annoying in their own right and she can’t really fight all that well. Her powers actually stop when she makes contact with Northstar due to an “upgrade” that she got so fighting solo is her only option now.

Northstar is portrayed as the rebel of the group. He quit the Alpha Flight and hasn’t looked back since. He likes his new status, but the Alpha Flight find him anyway and basically force him into some new battles. Aurora even calls him out for a crime that he committed over a decade ago. He really can’t get any peace. Northstar can be over the top sometimes, but I definitely have to say that he’s a lot more likable than the other Flight Members. She’s not a part of the group, but I have to give a shoutout to Pink Pearl. She has no super powers except for the fact that she is massive so she has the physical power of someone like the Blob. It’s hilarious to see her beat down the Alpha Flight. Just when I thought that the team couldn’t call any further…they ended up surprising me!

The art was solid. It had the retro feel that Marvel’s comics all had at the time. The fights are all easy to read and the character designs are spot on. You can always count on Marvel to deliver in this area and while the Alpha Flight stories may not have been the greatest, the art was still quite good. It’s a fairly short collection although not too short to the point where it’ll feel like half of one. There are a decent amount of comic and it makes for a more complete read when put next to the usual 4 issues.

Overall, This is a good comic book. It’s just not much better than good though and you could do better with just about any other title from back in the day. If you want a break from all of the super popular heroes though, then this is a nice change of pace. It still references those other teams, but it stays as a self contained collection for the most part. I wonder if these guys will ever get a film. Considering that so many heroes have gotten a title by now, I wouldn’t be totally surprised. Either way, you can expect my next comic review to be about a comic that’s a little more impressive!

Overall 6/10

Casablanca Review

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Does the poster spoil the ending? Let’s hope not, although this is a classic so you’ve probably seen it already. If not, then I’d recommend checking it out. It’s not an elite all star film like you may have heard, but it’s a good story. The romance is rather lackluster though and downright bad by the end. Press 1 if you feel bad for the Rebound Guy who shall never know his own fate. This film’s definitely been remembered for many generations and will always stay as a classic so let’s see what the film theoretically did right and what it may have done wrong.

The film takes place during the time where Germany had occupied France. Rick has a little bar that’s going smoothly, but that’s when some Germans arrive looking for a resistance member. Rick has attained a pair of passports that can let the resistance member safely escape the country, but he doesn’t want to give them up because he now has the opportunity to destroy the woman who gave him the slip many years ago and crushed whatever romance they may have had back in the day. Rick never forgets a grudge, but will he ultimately decide to put his feelings to the side so that he can help stop the Nazi’s?

Rick really had a good thing going for him, but Laszlo and Ilsa’s appearance throws a curveball into his life. We rarely know when we are about to make a choice that will alter our life forever, but have to do the best that we can. Of course, it’s hard to just help an old enemy so easily and Rick is naturally upset. Worse, the Nazi’s now know that he has a history of helping the resistance stop the oppressors so he has come under great scrutiny. He’s on friendly terms with the chief of France’s police, but that might not help him all that much if the Germans really do start to go after him.

Rick’s a classic retro hero who’s very confident and can casually respond to the enemy banter. He’s not a bad main character and is far more likable than the leads of the last few films that I watched. He does make things very dangerous for the other characters for most of the film, but ultimately makes the right choices….for the most part. He helps some people flee the country and does help the resistance. The one wrong choice that he made was having a one night affair with Ilsa even though he knew that she was married.

I’m referring to near the end as he didn’t know that she was married the first time. That one was on her, but he certainly could have simply denied her the last time, but chose to accept her offering before sending her on her way. It was not a good move and Rick proved that he was not as heroic as he could have been. The wise thing to do there would have been to have just given them the passports if he had been planning to do so or to have gone along the plan without that move. It also makes things sad for Laszlo.

Unlike some of the other guys, Laszlo may realize that he is the rebound guy, but it’s definitely not a whole lot better for him. Knowing that you are the rebound guy must be incredibly hard to bear and honestly it can make you doubt everything. It’s one of the reasons why you should be incredibly careful when choosing your partner. It’s so that you can actually trust her when you have to be gone for a few months. In the beginning, Ilsa thought that Laszlo was dead of course so it’s not as bad. Of course, what you could say is bad is the fact that she got over it so quickly and moved on to another man. Why are the characters all so easy? It would probably be even worse if this was a modern film. At least the romance is handled tastefully for the most part….the last romance scene notwithstanding.

It’s a fairly pleasant film and one of those well written films that you don’t really see nowadays. The characters all come across as intelligent and even when they’re threatening each other it’s always very civil. Naturally it can be a little long for some as not everyone will enjoy the long conversations, but given the positive reviews around the board, I think it’s safe to say that most people enjoyed the interactions. They’re definitely solid and the film never dragged on for me because it was all very interesting. It would have been great to have had a quick epilogue where some Americans came in to take down all of the Nazi’s, but maybe that would have taken too long.

The film did a good job of throwing in some context and backdrop for the characters. Even though the film had to get into the plot right away, you got a good sense of the town and the people there. They may have been beaten, but they weren’t broken and they were still fighting hard to stay upbeat. The scene where they play their anthem over the German one was definitely a good one and watching everyone talk about how they wanted to leave was a nice subtle way of showing the condition over in Paris. We never actually saw that the conditions were poor, but still knew it through this, which is a solid way of expanding the universe. Subtlety can definitely be a great tactic.

Overall, Casablanca is a good film that lives up to its reputation as a solid romance. It’s not world shattering, but I’m not a big romance fan so it equals out. Aside from the needless romance scene between Ilsa and Rick (A romance that I definitely don’t think is award worthy) the film really didn’t have any flaws and made for an enjoyable experience. It’s a fairly calm film with very few action scenes, but it’s meant to be more about the choice that Rick has to make. Will he make the right one or won’t he? I’m glad to say that he did make the right choice and turned out to be a decent person. There was even some room for a sequel where we could see Rick in the resistance. That would be neat although it could be sad if handled wrong. If you’re looking for a pleasant romance then this is a good film to check out.

Overall 7/10

Sunset Boulevard Review

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It’s time to review a very retro film. It’s one of those films that may have a lot of good reviews, but when you really take a look at it…it doesn’t hold up very well. The characters are all very unlikable and the romance is one of the worst that you’ll have seen in years. It almost makes Twilight’s look good, but that’s just about impossible anyway. The sun did set on this film, but I don’t think that was the film’s intention!

Joe’s a film writer who’s been through some tough times. None of his scripts are any good anymore and he gets serious writer’s block at times. He’s also on the run from the proper (car) authorities since he couldn’t pay the bill on his car. Things are really heating up and he even considers moving across the state, but that’s when he runs into the retired actress, Norma Desmond. She has a lot of money and is willing to help him become rich if he can help her finish her script so that it becomes a real movie. Joe can never pass up quick check, but is this really the right move?

No, I can say that it isn’t the right move, but Joe’s not a good character so I wasn’t expecting him to make the right one anyway. It wouldn’t have been in character now would it? The romance is poorly done here on all levels, but first let’s start with the subplot that comes out of nowhere. The person (Betty) who read Joe’s scripts decides that he has a lot of talent and wants him to help her write a script. He declines, but eventually decides to do it. The problem with this plot is that Betty is engaged, but she immediately falls for Joe anyway, nearly getting together with him in the bathroom of a party after only seeing the guy for about 2 minutes. Keep in mind that she’s already engaged. Once her fiance heads over to another state for some kind of project, she quickly tries to make her move and Joe is naturally happy about this. The problem is that he’s playing the field with two people at once.

So, Joe decides to break it off with both. Before we say how, let’s go to the main plot. Norma Desmond is a lot older than Joe of course, but that doesn’t stop her from flirting with him and since Joe knows that she’s the source of his weekly pay check, he obliges her. He continues to let this relationship happen and even allows her to believe the deception that she may make a comeback as an actress. That’s why we invented the concept of tough love as these passive lies will definitely hurt a person in the long run. Naturally, this isn’t a very healthy relationship and Norma has divorced 3 husbands in the past so that should have been a good hint to Joe.

Anyway, his decision to break off his relationships to both Norma and Betty involves calling Betty over to see his mansion and then dumping her…after having her come over all the way from her house in the dead of night. Couldn’t have broken it off over the phone right? He also did it in a passive aggressive way so as to not formally break it off, but just antagonize her until she got the message. Then, after giving Norma hope that she was the only one for him, he quickly told her that he was leaving as well and after making sure that she had a gun at the ready, he walked away. Naturally he got shot in the back and quickly sprinted over to the pool so that he could have a flashy death, but it was a predictable end to the film.

After all, the movie made the interesting choice of showing him dead in the very first scene as he tells us a flashback. It’s not explicitly stated that it was him of course, but it’s rather obvious since there were no other characters who looked like him in the film. It was a very small cast after all so there was never a doubt as to how the film would end. The only question would be “Why was he shot?” Well, now we know the answer. The guy wasn’t exactly an upstanding citizen and you can only antagonize people for so long before one of them turns out to be a killer. At least the finance guys finally got their car back from him.

The cops show up at the end to wrap everyone up, but they’re not as tough as the cops from nowadays. They allow Norma to slowly walk down the steps and act as if she is still in a movie instead of quickly throwing her in the cop car and getting on with it. The reporters are always glad to have an extended scene like this of course, but they certainly have her a lot of leeway. Considering that she just killed a man, you’d expect a little more intensity from the cops right?

There’s not much to really like about the film. As I’ve already shown, Joe’s a terrible main character. He has no heroic qualities about him. The only part of his personality that is decent is the fact that he gets a lot of burns and insults the entire time as he pokes fun at everyone, but it’s always just talk. He talks about how he should leave Norma and yet he doesn’t make a move until the very end. He’s not actually brave enough or confident enough to make a move and the only times that he does try something are when they’re actions that he shouldn’t take. One such action is naturally trying to steal the girl of his best friend. That’s not a whole lot of loyalty on his part.

If he would focus more on his writing and less on all of the fluff that’s around him, he could have been a real character. As it stands, he’s not someone that you’ll want to be around and I can see why his scripts were no good. He doesn’t take them seriously enough. It’s a shame since the beginning of the film did show some promise and the overall picture could have been quite good. If the story was played seriously and Norma did not fall for Joe we could be talking about a completely different movie. Who knows, maybe this could have actually been a solid 7 instead of the finished product that we got in the end instead. Alas, there are no what ifs when it comes to film right?

Overall, There’s no shining sliver of hope to grab here as the film’s just one big mess that gets more and more entangled in its own plots. Now we’ll also know that the best friend was just the rebound guy even though he’ll never suspect it as his engaged partner will likely never mention these facts. It’s one of the tricky turns of romance and a lot of films actually don’t mind making the guy just the “rebound guy” anymore. Even the next film that I’m about the review used the same technique and it does make you wonder for the eventual husbands who have to put up with this role. You just have to wonder what they would think if they knew. They probably should have realized that if anyone is easy enough to fall for you at first sight, that they may have already done the same for others. Just think on that as you pass by this film at your local DVD store and instead stop at Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time. No drama there, just hard hitting action!

Overall 1/10

Labyrinth Review

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I saw Labyrinth a while back and it’s one of those classic 80’s-90’s films that they just don’t make anymore. I definitely hadn’t heard of it until about 5 minutes before I started the film so it’s always interesting to delve into the unknown realms. We get some catchy songs and the overall soundtrack is quite good. It’s certainly heavily inspired by Alice in Wonderland, but instead of a Card Queen, we’ve got a reality warping trickster! He’s no Cheshire Cat though!

Sarah has always loved fairy tales. She often imagined herself being the heroine who would defeat the Goblin King, but a sudden rain shower completely destroyed her ambitions. Her parents decide to have a nice dinner outside so they leave Sarah to babysit her baby brother. Unfortunately, the two don’t get along very well so Sarah quickly makes a contract with the Goblin King to spirit the baby away. The plan works and the baby is gone, but Sarah quickly realizes that her situation won’t be very good if the parents discover this predicament. She must now venture into the Goblin Kingdom, destroy the kind, and save her brother. Hopefully she brought a weapon along!

Luckily, the Goblin King does have a sense of humor and doesn’t mind making the game a little fair. (As far as Sarah knows anyway) He teleports her to the kingdom so that she has a fighting chance, but Sarah must get through a long maze before sunset to rescue the baby or he will turn into a goblin. The maze is rigged with invisible exits and a lot of turns so she will have to rely on the locals to help her. However, are they really here to help or is it all just another trick? It’s time for her to find out!

You can probably already guess this, but Sarah’s not a very likable character. Babysitting is so fun when it’s just a baby since you can turn on some video games and just play for a few hours. Sarah just can’t take this level of stress though and panics just from a little crying. Sure, she saves the baby in the end, but her character just isn’t likable throughout the film and the development wasn’t enough to save her. Her dog is the true hero here as he outruns the villains and constantly gets in the way of the villains. He’d do Scooby Doo proud with his various antics! The villains know better than to mess with him.

Hoggle is Sarah’s main ally during the film. He likes to play both sides as he pretends to be working with Sarah while still in the employ of the Goblin King and vice versa. In the end, he decides to throw in his lot with Sarah and they become friends, but I can’t say that Hoggle was very good either. He’s more annoying than anything and I rarely like Goblins although maybe that can change once we get a planet busting one. Hoggle certainly betrays the whole cast a lot, but at least he’s helpful at times.

The Goblin King was probably my favorite character of the film. Only probably since the dog naturally wins if he counts. The Goblin King doesn’t play fair and he has the massive advantage against the other characters since his abilities are nigh infinite. Still, he knows how to have a good time and he even has a few dance scenes and sings a song to the baby. He throws the baby up and down a few times, but always takes care to not let him get even slightly injured. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy and just wanted more goblins to play with. The only character that he was typically antagonistic towards was Hoggle and Sarah towards the end. He’s still a villain of course, but a likable one. I also liked the design as it was quite retro.

Of course, plot hax had to ensue in the climax. After all, how could an all powerful villain lose to a teenage girl with no combat experience without some form of plot hax? Let’s just say that he underestimates her speed and determination. Yeah…that’s really all I can say on how he’s defeated. There are hundreds of ways that he could have won, but maybe he just wanted the whole game to be over at that point. Most of his henchmen had started to like the baby and Sarah anyway so he may have known that it was all a losing battle by then.

For a while though, the whole world was against Sarah. It was almost sad to see all of her tricks backfire since some were clever. One trick that Sarah had was to draw on the ground so that she could backtrack effectively, but the tiles are actually roofs for some goblins so they were promptly flipped over. Sarah tried to solve the maze by going in a straight line, but due to a reality limbo spell, the line kept moving in time along with her speed so it essentially resulted in her not going anywhere. Nothing worked because nothing could work. How do you defeat a living maze? Even with Hoggle’s help they were nearly crushed by giant boulders or simply overpowered. Along the way we met the classic 2 heads, one who can tell the truth and one who can’t. Behind one of them is a door that leads to a pit and one that leads to the castle. Turns out…they were both leading to pits. That, or they simply lied about their roles in the first place or were just trolling her with false hints.

Unlike Alice in Wonderland though, I can’t say that I cared for most of the bit players. In Alice, we had the Cat, the classic Card Soldiers, and the Queen was pretty memorable. I never cared for the guys at the tea table, but that’s another story. Here, I didn’t care for the gimmicks of the minions. We had the guys whose heads would keep rolling off and that was…interesting I guess. I didn’t care for the actual designs, but they could be nice and creepy for younger viewers. They can fight, which is always a plus and get ready for cannons that fire more lethal objects than cannon balls.

It was a rough journey, but Sarah succeeded. For a while there, it looked like the whole thing was a dream based on the ending, but I like to think that it was real. The turning point was really just seeing all of the creatures suddenly appear and start dancing in the room. Sure, she could be completely delusional, but I like to think that these guys were on the level and the fact that it got a manga sequel should help this case. It would have been even better to have seen the parents stumble into the room though as they would have been pretty shocked. It was definitely a crazy sight for the average person after all.

As essentially mentioned earlier, the soundtrack is very good. We get a lot of good tunes and you can definitely dance to them as you wait for the plot to return. The Goblin King’s magic ball was also very fascinating as it would change density from scene to scene. It would bounce and then it would be glass. The latter was something that the Goblin King probably should have watched out for. We even got some action scenes like the Village fight, which was certainly intriguing.

Overall, The Labyrinth was an interesting film. It’s old and you can feel its age so that may turn some people off, but at the same time, it’s what creates that retro feel. Behind the scenes, you can also think of it as a classic story of going from having a normal life to stopping an army of powerful villains. Every good character has to go through that gauntlet at some point or another and in theory Sarah should have become a better character as a result. I’m sure that she would probably be more likable in a sequel film. The characters do hold the film back a bit, but it’s still an enjoyable film and I would recommend checking it out as I’m sure that most of you readers have not seen this one yet.

Overall 6/10

I Confess Review

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It’s time for a retro film from Alfred Hitchcock. The style is certainly a little different from his other films in the sense that you wouldn’t necessarily know that it was by him. Most of his films are more mystery centered whereas here you do know who the villain is the whole time and the tension is on whether Logan will crack under the pressure or not. It’s a fun film where you have to decide if he’s making the right move or not.

The premise is fairly simple. Logan is a Catholic priest and one day he finds out that the man whom he hired to work at the church murdered a man. Unfortunately, the murderer is the one who told him while in the confessional box. It is strictly forbidden for a priest to use any knowledge learned during this period so Logan must decline to help the police with the investigation when they ask him who the murderer is. Unfortunately, the evidence now makes it look like Logan is the murderer and he can barely provide a defense for himself. Is this the end of the line for him?

Keller is the actual murderer and he evidently doesn’t care if anyone likes him by the end. He’s always trying to make Logan look bad and also doesn’t seem very remorseful for murdering someone. He goes crazy by the end to conveniently help the police realize the truth, but the character isn’t ultimately all that important in the story. Logan can shut him down at any time. As mentioned earlier, it really comes down to whether or not he will abide by the code.

His faith is strong and he never ends up buckling and telling the police what he knows. He does a good job in his Catholic beliefs. I’m a Christian myself and luckily we have no such custom. I definitely don’t fault Logan for not talking since he did well according to his beliefs, but I felt like he could have handled the situation a little better. Aside from not wanting to talk about anything relating to the murder, he also didn’t want to talk about anything related to Ruth, which caused more issues. This meant that he did not even want to create an alibi for himself and effectively made himself look all the more guilty. Not to mention that he tried to dodge the questions and sidetrack the arguments a lot of the time.

Even if he didn’t outright say that Keller was the killer, Logan could have easily explained that he knew who the killer was, but couldn’t say because of the confessional rules. That would have at least given the police something to go with and I don’t believe that this is against the rules. Of course, it could come down to the fact that Logan may have thought of this as “cheating” the rules. It’s like a “lie of omission.” I still don’t believe in the concept, but many do consider it to be a form of lying and essentially cheating the concept of a lie. You’re telling a lie without actually saying anything. If Logan subscribed to that way of thinking, then maybe he felt that he couldn’t even admit that this had anything to do with a confessional. I personally disagree with his stance.

I do think that ommissions are not the same as lying. Take for example the classic example used for the lying debate. 2 Nazi’s walk into your apartment and you are hiding Christians in your attic so they say “Are you hiding Christians in the house?” You have quite a few options without actually lying and they all involve sort of skirting around the whole lying concept. One option is to respond via a technicality. Maybe your home is an apartment, a villa, or something that’s not technically a house. Then you can easily respond with a No and it’s not a lie. You could use an exclamation like “What” “How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” which is not actually lying, while still insinuating that you are saying no and then depending on what they follow up with, you can say no to the question without saying no to the original one. There are many such loopholes that you can exploit in many scenarios, but it does boil down to the fact of whether or not you consider this to be cheating the rule. By the way, I am of the side that believes lying is the better course of action than telling the truth in that case. You are committing a sin no doubt, but saying yes means that you will be killing the people in your house and taking away their choice of life. If it’s just your life on the line, then by all means it’s best to tell the truth and proudly accept your fate as a Christian. When other people are in danger, then self sacrifice is the concept that I subscribe too (Whether or not you have the courage to back up your tough words is another story though) and you are willingly sinning, but I believe that it is different from simply sinning for personal gain. You will have to answer for each and every sin, but I believe that the lives you saved and your willingness to repent and move on from the situation is counted as well.

Back to the film, if Logan believes that admitting to the confessional being the issue of why he can’t talk to be a loophole of the Catholic rule, then he naturally cannot even say this since it would go against his beliefs. It all depends on his feelings on the subject. Either way, he was definitely put in a tough spot, but Logan was a good character. I got worried when he was stranded with Ruth for a night, but he did a good job and handled the situation appropriately. Logan’s a solid lead character and while his actions were frustrating, he did the best that he could.

Most of the other characters were pretty annoying or unlikable. The only other really good character would be the detective. He did a good job of grabbing the facts and showing the other characters who was really in charge of the situation. You could almost root for the guy if you didn’t know that he was already on the wrong side. He meant well and that definitely counts for something. The Prosecutor was also decent and he knew how to have a good time. He would have won the cup game if not for the phone.

Naturally, Keller’s not a likable villain. He comes across as rather petty. His wife was better even if she acted a little too late considering that Keller never seemed like the most respectable guy out there. The other priests didn’t help Logan out all that much, but they were likely praying for him. They were just in a tough spot since it was hard to help him and they definitely understood his plight by the end of the whole ordeal. I did like the priest who had the bike with him, that was a fun gimmick to have.

Meanwhile, Ruth was surprisingly very antagonistic for most of the film. Her treatment of her husband was very uncalled for and she could never rebound from that. She married him for no real reason since she claims to have never loved him and immediately tried going back to Logan only to find out that he had put up the friend zone already. Sometimes, the friend zone card can be quite effective and it’s always great to see it played during a film. It’s one of the ultimate moves to pull in real life as well.

Overall, I Confess was a solid film. The mystery was already known, which always forces a different approach for a mystery. The courtroom drama was intense as always, although without a real defense, it was more one sided than I would have liked. I certainly recommend this film if you’re looking for a classic tale of whether the world can crush you enough to make you relinquish your beliefs or if you can find a way to persevere. It’s a good adventure with a well thought out plot. I don’t remember all that much plot hax at the moment, but I’m sure that I could think of some if I focused!

Overall 7/10

Nova Classic Volume 1 Review

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Boooo, the cover image is small, but it’s the best I could do this time. Richard Rider’s always been a pretty fun cosmic character so when I saw his classic comic on the shelf, I knew that I had to snag it. Another incentive was the debut of Megaman in the Marvel comics. I’m happy to say that the comic ended up being a blast and I never would have suspected that Nova turned out this way. There’s always time to learn something new after all!

Turns out that Nova used to be a normal kid who attended school and had rivals/friends just like Peter Parker. You can draw a lot of parallels between the two characters and it’s cool because I always assumed that Nova had started out as an adult. It’s always interesting because some characters like him and Spider-Man are currently adults while the guys who were already adults like Iron Man and Ant Man haven’t aged nearly as rapidly. It’s just how these things go I suppose. Nova has to quickly wrap his head around his new powers since evil never rests. The origin is similar to Green Lantern’s as the original Nova is destroyed while following a criminal and quickly transfers his powers to Richard.

Richard avenges him and decides to be a superhero, but he still has to deal with his real life dramas. There’s a bully who likes to pick on him and Richard’s “friends” don’t really do a whole lot to stop him. It’s probably the friendliest bully that I’ve ever seen though because everyone still talks and hangs out with each other even though the guy’s a bully. It’s all very intriguing to say the least. The main heroine is Ginger, but she hasn’t done a whole lot yet. There’s a slight chance that she figured out Richard’s true identity, but I we certainly won’t know for sure for quite some time.

Richard does have two friends though. A little kid who ends up getting kidnapped by Megaman and is one of the weaker supporting characters, and the kid’s pal. The pal is the trickster of the group and I have to admit that he gets a lot of really good lines throughout the comics. One of them was something along the lines of (When talking about the bully to Richard) “Don’t let him bother you Rich. Just remember that if you take away his smarts and his strength, then you get us…whoops!” He’s constantly insulting himself and Richard through his comebacks which makes for a very interesting style of humor. I can’t say that I’ve seen it done before or maybe I simply haven’t seen it done this effectively before. Either way, it’s definitely a blast.

Other supporting characters include Nova’s family. His brother’s a self proclaimed genius who can’t get any of his inventions to work, but he likes to remind Nova that he’s the smart one of the family. He’s always acing his tests. Nova’s Dad is usually busy with work drama so he’s always rather upset. Nova tries to keep him in check, but since he’s failing his classes, it’s been very difficult so far. The Mom is reasonable, but she only helps Nova in secret so as not to make the Dad more irritable than he already is. It’s tough being Nova, but Richard knows that he can take it.

He’s already amassed a bit of a villain’s gallery as well. Condor is the brains of the villain group, but he’s not as tough as you can think. He’s essentially the Vulture with Forge’s energy gun and 10% of Iron Man’s intellect. He puts up a good fight, but that’s mainly because Nova still isn’t very experienced. Once he gets his powers under control, he should be able to beat this guy with ease. Powerhouse is easily the worst villain of the trio. He’s constantly whining about how everyone is using him, but he’s the one who’s standing there and taking it. Now, blaming the victim is one thing, but I can’t even call this guy a victim since he’s clearly stronger than Condor. Yet, Condor slaps him about 40-50 times and it happens so often that it’s practically a comedy subplot by the end. The various heroes and villains keep commenting about it, but Powerhouse always ends up choosing the dark side over the light. Well, he made his choice and he’ll likely keep getting slapped around.

Diamondhead is the only true threat of the three and he’s impressively tough. His whole body is made of diamond so his physical strength is very impressive. Nova essentially broke his hand just by punching the guy. Even once Nova is more experienced, this guy was able to give him a good fight and he’s easily my favorite villain of the group. One thing that the three villains had in common was that they were all deathly afraid of another villain, the mighty Sphinx. It was cool to see the villains wage war against the super being and he easily bested all of the characters. If only Nova’s Power Cosmic had been a little stronger during his early years. It was a great ongoing plot though and it’s a shame that it ended so abruptly. As it stands, Sphinx was very overpowered compared to the rest of the characters, but it was always a blast to see him. He also wasn’t afraid to show his fear once in a while as his underling always tried to make him look at the future. (The villain is a mirror who shows you things that you don’t want to know) The other underling was a traitor who tried to destroy Sphinx so the villain placed him in a painful illusion.

What separates Sphinx from the average villain is that he inflated the body count right away. He punched Diamond Head so hard that he was partially merged into a Pyramid and supposedly he is effectively dead. Condor was turned into an actual bird so he’ll never mess with anyone again. Sphinx wasn’t playing games and he was definitely cool. The final notable villain was Megaman. For obvious reasons, I was very hyped to see him appear. Unfortunately, the guy is fairly petty and just wants revenge because his nephew ran off and left him to die. It was a salty moment, but a better man would have just kept on going. He doesn’t get to really have an ending in his fight because a futuristic being takes him away, but it was cool to see Marvel’s take on the iconic character. Nowadays, this kind of move would definitely generate a lot of headlines.

There were also two storylines for guest stars. The first had Thor appear to help Nova. Naturally, what’s a team up without a quick fight right? Thor was being mind controlled by a villain (I call plot hax here. At least it didn’t work on him a second time) and had a brief scuffle with Nova. Nova wasn’t doing too well, but at least he slowed Thor a little. The two of them fought a demon and then called it a day. The villain wasn’t great, but just seeing Thor and Nova go at it made the comic worthwhile.

The other team up was with Spider Man and that was cool. It was a classic mystery case as Nova’s uncle was murdered and one of the people in the room must have been the culprit. The suspects included an A.I.M. agent, a member of the Mafia, a corrupt business man, the Butler, A co-worker who believes that he was cheated out of fame, The Detective, and one more. Ironically, I think I may be missing the actual culprit in this description. Peter Parker is a suspect as well, but readers will know that it wasn’t him. It was a good feat for Spider Man though since he was able to endure a punch from an enraged Nova. Spider Man’s been in the game for a while so he held his own and I was glad that Nova listened to reason although I wouldn’t have minded an extended fight. Those are always a blast.

As always, Marvel’s retro art is really good here. It really helps reinforce the atmosphere that they were going with here. You’d think that this was a 60’s comic from how the characters talk and act. It can be hard to properly make a comic feel old without it also feeling old in a negative way, but the comic pulled it off quite well. The character designs are all on point and you’ll definitely be eager to keep on reading. I essentially read most of the comic in a single blast and it does have that Spider-Man feel where it’s all very interesting. I can never get enough of the retro adventures although they aren’t all equal. (For example, retro Fantastic Four comics were usually not quite as interesting) If I had to make a tier list, I’d put Spider-Man, Nova, Blue Beetle, Superman, Batman, Daredevil, Green Lantern, and Iron Man comics at S rank. A rank would be titles like Thor and Avengers. (Mainly due to the drought once the main members left) B would be some random titles, but it’s hard to think of them. C rank would probably be Fantastic Four, Captain America, Hulk, and most of the others that are remaining. They’re all essentially good comics, but some are just more fun than others.

Overall, I highly recommend reading the Nova comics. If you liked the old Spider-Man comics, then you are certainly going to like these. For the most part, Nova’s a very good character. He has one passing line that’s pretty wince worthy, but by and large he’s a noble hero who does his best even if it takes the kid a long time to really use his powers. He can take a hit and that’s the important thing. He even gets a lot of hype against Sphinx as he keeps on getting up after each blow. I hope that my library gets Nova Classic Volume 2 someday so I can wrap up the saga. Who knows, maybe Megaman will return since the series is running low on villains. Watching his ascent into one of Marvel’s toughest characters will definitely be intense!

Overall 8/10

Batman’66 Volume 3 Review

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I always liked Adam West’s portrayal of Batman. It felt on point and moreover..it felt natural. This is the Batman that I remembered, making lots of puns and having a good time while taking down villains. That being said, the serious Batman from New 52 or the DCAU is certainly a classic as well. Both versions certainly work well when given a good story to back themselves up. Volume 3 of Batman’66 plays out as you would expect it too. It doesn’t take any risks and simply follows the formula along. As such, nothing’s unexpected, but it’s still a good story like the first two volumes.

This one brings 6 issues so let’s take a look at hoe they fared. One of them saw an old Egg themed villain return, but he has now evolved to a level where he can use his mind for abilities like telepathy. Batman and Robin must now figure out a way to defeat this foe since the guy can basically defeat them with a glance. This won’t be easy…that’s for sure. My problem with this issue is simply the fact that the villain was portrayed to be way too powerful. Defeating the heroes with a glance is just too much and as a result, it’s hard to really believe the ending. It felt like plot hax was everywhere. That’s why you never want to make villains too powerful unless the heroes get some kind of power up as well.

One of the better stories definitely involved a big Batman robot that will help make Gotham city a nicer place. Batman trains the robot and decides to leave it to its own devices. The moral involves how robots can’t adapt to the situation, which you probably could have guessed from the get go. It’s obvious, but still fitting and I was glad that the robot didn’t randomly turn evil. I was actually expecting that the entire time so I was glad to be proven wrong. Maybe this was the best story in the collection.

Another issue involved a team up between the Penguin and Widow Black. These two are a dangerous tag team and actually defeat the heroes rather easily. The part that I don’t really buy is how quickly the Penguin betrayed her. Sure, Batman reminded him that he would be betrayed eventually, but didn’t he realize that from the get go? I feel like the writers had no idea on how to save the heroes since Batman and Robin were literally put in a sticky situation. Regardless of how realistic that ending may have been, it was good to see a new(ish) villain to the series. This isn’t her first appearance in media or anything like that, but I definitely don’t remember this villain so it’s probably been a while. She’s not the greatest, but more variety is a good thing.

Another all star is definitely the issue where a TV show of Batman and Robin is produced. This leads to a lot of dicey moments for the heroes since villains are beginning to fear them. They don’t want that. This isn’t the 90’s after all! They decide to shut down the program, but find out that it is being run by a villain. This was certainly an entertaining story and I always like the idea of villains using TV to wreck the heroes. It is a solid strategy and almost worked. If anything, the villain should have stayed undercover a little longer. The heroes wouldn’t have dared to have attacked him. A running gag was that the heroes would do “The Bat Business” to the villains, which makes them cower in fear. Considering that the heroes reluctantly hit the villains a little, it could be anything. I feel the comic was hinting towards tickling and that used to be a big joke back in the day, but thankfully that era has passed.

Next up, we saw the return of Batgirl! Batman and Robin are always eager to have another hero to help out, even if it makes Robin look a little worse in comparison. The Joker and Catwoman are teaming up this time so that means double trouble for the heroes. I’ll admit that this comic was surprisingly uneventful though. I can’t really remember the plot even after seeing the cover and the summary. I just remember Batgirl being in it and the quick team up as the heroes had to break up some fights. Not a bad comic, but not really a very good one either. Still, it is a Batman’66 comic that basically follows all the tropes so it’s your standard stuff.

Finally, Marsha decides to leave the Brady Bunch and make a name for herself. She wants all the jewels in the world and actually manages to enter the Bat Cave!!! Luckily for the heroes, She decides not to go for his secret identity since the cops could have been alerted. Not her best decision, but now the Dark Knight can rest easy as he takes her down once and for all. The villains weren’t actually that tough as Marsha can’t fight, but the tension of her possibly knowing his identity (Or coming close) really makes the issue.

It was a fine collection of issues. This volume’s definitely not as good as the Green Hornet crossover, but that…was a crossover. You can’t expect the normal volumes to come close. As far as going against volumes 1 and 2, I’d say that 3 is more of less the same. The thing with Batman’66 is that almost all of the issues are essentially interchangeable. It all comes down to whether you like the style or not. I still love seeing all of the puns and Batman ends up putting everyone in their place even when he only fights reluctantly. He wants to help all of the villains out after all. He makes for a great lead. Robin’s mostly just here to get humiliated and you can feel bad for the guy, but I suppose that he tries. He just tends to almost let the secret identity out a lot, which can certainly be disastrous.

The cover may be very underwhelming, but the art in the actual issues is still solid. It’s easy to really get into the flow of things and you’ll feel like you’re back in the 1960’s. The art does a good job of emulating the classic style and the overall comic is better off for it. I doubt it’s very difficult to draw from the artist’s perspective compared to other styles, but the finished product is really what counts.

Overall, This is a solid continuation from the first two volumes. At this point, you know whether you like the comics and its premise or not. It’s a lot of fun and is filled with many puns, but some Batman fans may still not be used to this happy version of the character. It’s a comedy over action volume as that is the direction that the series is typically focused on. It works quite well and I know what I want to happen in volume 4. We need Superman to appear. This series is typically very realistic, but now that it’s in comic format, I feel like adding Superman wouldn’t be super out of place. It could actually work if handled well…don’t you think?

Overall 7/10

Spongebob Squarepants Lights Camera Pants Review

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I’m always up for a retro Gamecube game and I got this one as a souvenir from my very first SSB4 tournament. It’s a Spongebob party game so I thought that it would make for a decent playthrough and who knows…maybe it would be a lot of fun! Unfortunately, it was actually less fun than I had expected and that’s mainly due to the lack of options within the game. It’s very short and compact to the point where I feel bad for anyone who may have bought this on day 1 at full price. I shudder at the thought!

The plot of the game revolves around an episode that is being created about Mermaid Man. The director is looking for actors willing to grab the roles that are left, but they’ll have to earn them by playing a lot of games. Spongebob and friends are up for the job! There’s not much of a story though because every cutscene is basically just the director talking to the organizer of the event. Rinse and repeat a few times until the commercial is done. The game is incredibly short as a result. Each area has 3 mini games to complete and then you move on to the next area. I forgot how many areas there are, but one playthrough should be enough to easily get through the game. It’ll take you around 2-3 hours I believe and if you skip cutscenes, then that total significantly decreases.

One of the problems about the cutscene at the end is that it isn’t handled well. Every time you beat an area, you get to see one scene from the episode. Once you beat the game…you get to see the full episode. The problem is that you’ve already watched 90% of it so instead of enjoying the final product, it’s just really boring. The episode has such low replay value that even just watching it a second time isn’t very long. It’s also about as long as a real episode so that final cutscene just drags on and on. I would actually recommend just skipping it since it’s unlikely to get you hyped or impressed.

Granted, the episode had some good lines in it. I forgot how old Mermaid Man was nowadays and he just doesn’t understand anything that’s happening. It’s like Knuckles from Sonic Boom, but not nearly as funny. I can see the humor of Mermaid Man though and he’s decently funny, but I’m not sure if the other characters can keep up. It’s purposefully campy like the classic Superfriends so a show about Mermaid Man would have some potential, but again…I wouldn’t want to see any episode twice. At least not twice in the same day!

As for the gameplay, some of the minigames do have potential, but nothing is handled right. Every minigame has a mandatory timer so that none of them can end before 3 minutes. (Typically) This means that even the most enjoyable of games will start to drag on. I’ve always preferred stocks/lives/health points to a timer system since it encourages you to get good and really take on your opponents. With a timer system, you can build a big lead, but you’ll still have to wait for the timer to finish. It’s just not fun and drags the minigames down.

The best minigame is easily the one that ripped off Mario Party. I’ve noticed that just about every party game rips this minigame off, but that’s a good thing since it’s always fun. You have to balance on a ball of sorts and knock your opponents off. It’s fun, but the area is so small that it can be very hard to do anything without falling. You could say that this takes skills or you could say that the game tried too hard to make it an even playing field for newcomers and pros alike so a lot of the enjoyment was squeezed out. Nonetheless, this is the best minigame in the whole collection. (Again, not much of a collection though) There’s a nice car minigame and climbing the mountain is decent as long as your partner doesn’t sabotage you. There’s even a nifty Soccer game. Again, the problem is that you have to play these games until the timer ends and some of the minigames actually end up copying each other, which isn’t cool. In such a short game, this is pretty unacceptable.

Even the enjoyable games could have been better if the company had put more of an effort into the project. This game is definitely a cash in and may have been phoned in by the devs. I can only imagine what the reviews would be like nowadays for a game like this one. Spongebob was apparently a good show back in the day (It never caught my eye) so it deserves a lot better than this.

I’d say that the graphics are decently good. They won’t be something to write home about like Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, but they’re not that bad either. They’re essentially a nonfactor while playing the minigames. You can still tell what and where everything is and that’s the important thing. The game will be over before you know it after all. There’s not really a soundtrack to speak of. Any tunes that were in the game were instantly and completely forgotten. That’s the problem with having such a forgettable soundtrack.

There is also no real replay value here. Why are most of the minigames 2 vs 2 contests? That doesn’t really make sense for a party game. If you’re a group of 3, then one person is going to have to be with the computer and I can assure you that you won’t have a great experience. There are a few free for all contests, but it’s a very small number of them. I don’t understand the thought process that went behind this and maybe the developers forgot that they were making a game midway through. Once you have beaten the game, there’s really nothing to do. The only thing that you have for replay value is really just playing the minigames again a few times. Yeah…I don’t think I want to do that anytime soon. You can go for the high scores, but that’s not much of an incentive either. This game is definitely lacking in bonus content.

Overall, This is a game that’s best left on the forgotten shelves. I planned to get a few other Spongebob games, but that might have to wait for a while after this. The next time that I want a Gamecube game, I’ll just get Kirby Air Ride or Gotcha Force. Granted, Gotcha Force is going for 100 dollars and up right now so it’ll also have to wait for a little while. There’s really no reason to get this game and the only reason that it’s not lower is that some of the minigames are decent. It’s not borderline unplayable or anything like that, but there is no reason to play it. This would be a bad game if it didn’t even have that or if it forced you to keep on playing them over and over again in a very stretched out story mode. Either way, I do not recommend this title and you’re better off getting just about anything else. I was really torn between giving this game a 4 or a 5 and in the end, I had to go with my gut.

Overall 4/10

The Wrong Man Review

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The Wrong Man is a unique film in the sense that it is a drama and a drama film. Those two sound almost the same though so it was probably just an error on the Google Search…maybe. I always like good retro films as the writing is always strong. I’d call this film a success although I did have one issue with the film that was decently sizable and kept it from being an epic 8. There’s another issue that holds it up a little in the realism angle, but it doesn’t affect the final score. Hitchcock says that this thriller is even more intense than some of his “fictional” ones and he’s probably right as the mix of court room drama and mystery made this a solid experience.

Manny is your average joe. He has a steady job and is known as a very dependable fellow around the neighborhood. Everyone knows him as a nice guy, but he is suddenly confronted by the police one day to answer for a list of crimes. He has apparently committed theft and assault several times. When asked, Manny claims innocence to all of this, but he is telling the truth or is he just trying to get off easy? Only time will tell!

This is supposedly based on a true story and I can believe it as I’m sure that cases like this have happened in the past. That being said, if we’re treating the story as if it really happened, then some scenes really stretched that line in the movie. There was one part where the cops decided to have Manny copy the letter that the criminal wrote to see if their handwriting was the same. It turns out that they were almost identical and Manny also made the same typo that the crook did. That was a little much if you asked me and at that point, I just figured that Manny had a split personality and did do the crimes. I think that this makes more sense than the alternative that the film gave us. That was the only scene that hurt its credability in terms of realism, but one scene is all that you need for something like this.

The only problem that I actually had with the film was the part where Manny’s wife went insane. It happened so suddenly as she was fighting for his innocence one day and the next, she had quickly fallen into despair. Apparently she had already been dealing with this, but the sudden breakdown was still a bit much. It was also very unnecessary to the film if you ask me. The film really would not have changed almost at all if she had stayed strong. The film would have also been more fun that way and Manny could have had someone else on his side. We do get a happy ending for her after a timeskip, but it just furthers the point that this plot was really shoehorned in.

Back to the realism part for a second. It is a little iffy how two of Manny’s witnesses just died so mysteriously. I suppose that mystery films need some red herrings, but everything was conveniently against Manny. He probably would have been doomed in court, but at least he had the character witnesses of his boss and the hotel owners. What he lacked in evidence and proof, Manny made up for with personal connections. I ended up liking his lawyer even though the guy seemed a little fishy at first. He pulled through when it counted and noticed that the jury was very bias and against Manny so he quickly called for a rematch. It was a very good choice on his part and I had barely even realized what the jury was doing. This guy certainly knew his stuff.

Manny was also a good main character. He could have handled the situation a little better I suppose, like talking to the owners of the shop a little more. It’s possible that it would have helped them realize that they had the wrong man. Manny also acted a little suspicious when his wife started to talk to the lawyer about possible witnesses and he quickly made an excuse to leave. Extra red herrings I suppose. The wife was likable before she went insane. A decent heroine, but that subplot hurt her.

I did like the cops as they tried to give Manny a fair shake the whole time, despite the fact that they had basically decided he was guilty from the start. I guess they figured that lying to his face would calm Manny down. The fact that they did call his wife was very iffy though. That just felt shady. These are the cops, not the mafia. What’s with all the secrecy? A few times, you would have thought that they weren’t on the level,but since this is based on a true story, I disregarded that notion since it would have been a little too fantastic. (In the original sense of the word, not good, but just unbelievable) “An innocent man has nothing to fear” is a line that the cops use quite a lot and it’s a memorable one. While it is only mostly true, it’s still something to keep in mind when you’re falsely accused. If you’re a modern film lead, you could even crack a bunch of jokes despite the severity of the situation.

As you would expect, the writing and the script are spot on. Even when Manny and the cops are starting to get a little heated, they use sophisticated burns to stop each other. Another suspicious character was Manny’s step brother, but he ended up being on the level so that was good for the lead. Manny certainly couldn’t afford to have any more enemies in this film. His two sons were also all right I suppose, but you could also call them filler and I’m glad that their roles weren’t any bigger.

The main draw of the film is simply the suspense as the mystery hooks you in. I thought that the film was very enjoyable and the mystery was handled well. I also really liked the court scenes and still love those. There wasn’t as much back and forth as usual since we mostly only saw it from the attacking side, but it was fun nonetheless. The film’s decently long, but doesn’t drag out. I would have liked to have scene the fake Manny a little more, but it wasn’t necessary to the plot I suppose. While the characters looked similar, I still don’t see how it fooled so many of the characters.

Overall, The Wrong Man is a good retro film. The suspense is certainly real and Manny is put through the ringer. The court case was fun and I liked all of the cop interrogation scenes. They were definitely enjoyable and the cops were portrayed as they should be. They knew their job and completed the mission without a whole lot of difficulty. It was also fun to see the old meatstore owners take out the criminal near the end. They definitely had gusto! I certainly recommend this film if you’re looking for an old fashioned mystery and a story about a man who must prove his innocence no matter the cost! There are no real negatives in this film aside from the wife’s subplot so you can just kick back and enjoy the show!

Overall 7/10

Harper Review

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It’s time to look at an oldish film from the 1960’s. It’s pretty old, but not old enough in the sense that it makes some modern mistakes. The film is also a little too long and drags out quite a bit. While the ending is decently good to an extent, you’ll find yourself struggling to find any likable characters in this film, which makes it difficult to be invested in the plot.

Harper is a private detective and a very good one at that. (Or so he thinks) He is hired because a man has disappeared so his wife wants Harper to track him down. This won’t be easy as the guy may not have been on the up and up with the law. The lady wants to find out who her husband has been cheating on with as well, but little does Harper know that things might be a little more serious than that. So begins his wild goose chase across the state.

See, the main plot is derailed for quite a while, as various other plot lines come up. Technically, Harper is on the trail the whole time, but the film moves at a snail’s pace. We slowly meet the supporting cast like the daughter, Harper’s old friend, and a guy who likes to hang out at the Beach. As mentioned before, none of these characters are very likable at all. Harper’s the kind of guy who acts like he’s not interested in women with all of his tough talk, but he still takes time to stare at the daughter when they first meet near the swimming pool and he basically acts like the kind of guy that you wouldn’t want to be around.

That’s not even mentioning the fact that Harper isn’t even a very good detective. He talks tough, but is constantly knocked out whenever things get dangerous. For example, he walked into a bar and started threatening one of the characters so he didn’t notice the bouncer sneak up behind him for a quick haymaker. He was then too dazed to do anything during the fight so he was quickly wrecked. This happened again in the final minutes of the film as he enters the villain base and figures that nobody was home. Well…he was wrong! Harper definitely comes across as a rookie at times.

The daughter was a pretty terrible character as almost all of her lines were just for flirting purposes. Her character lacked any real depth and she really had no bearing on the plot. Despite Bacall being a rather big name, she really had a very small role in the film and didn’t get to do anything. Harper’s friend wasn’t cool either and he was attracted to someone who was way younger than him. That’s certainly not a great way to start off his character arc and the ending doesn’t make him look any better either. Finally, the swimming guy doesn’t mind leading the daughter on even though he’s no attracted to her. He’s definitely not a good person. We also have a former star who gained weight. Her role was larger than I would have thought, but she definitely didn’t help the cast.

The daughter’s extended dance scenes at the Beach and the completely unnecessary romances in the film didn’t help its case either. The film was certainly trying to go for that James Bond feel as you can tell from the posters and it didn’t go over so well. Not to mention that there’s a random scene near the end where the villains torture someone for information using a cigarette. It came out of nowhere and Harper naturally couldn’t be bothered to come to the victim’s aid. He naturally waited until the ordeal was over because he’s no hero.

As mentioned earlier, the plot isn’t very interesting either and the story could have been told in half of the time. An example of a subplot that could have been cut out was where he pretended to be a guy from Texas who fell in love with the old actress. The scene went on for quite a while and while she ended up being important in the end, the scene could have been greatly shortened or removed from the movie altogether.

For positives, well, the writing was solid. Naturally, you wouldn’t expect to find a whole lot of language here and there was none. Such is the beauty of the old classics. The witty banter goes between the characters easily although it’s still not as good as the average classic film thanks to the daughter and the fact that her lines simply aren’t good.

Another positive would be the ending, which was certainly original and not what I had expected. It essentially leaves the decision to the viewer as you decide what happens from here. I certainly know what my guess is. The guy in the car will shoot and the other one will yell for help so one of them dies and the other is arrested. That sounds like a fair tradeoff to me although Harper still didn’t look so good right up until the very end. The fact of the matter is, he doesn’t know if he is going to bring a murderer to justice. No matter who the person is, murder is murder and it’s not like it was in self defense. The guy shot someone who was already helpless and on the ground…he should get no sympathy from Harper.

The car chase scene was decent although you can certainly tell that they don’t make cars the way that they used too. One car breaks down from going down a very small hill. A current car would have just kept on going and going. It’s a neat contrast although it certainly wasn’t intended as such. I’m always up for a chase and since there weren’t any real fight scenes to be found here…it’ll have to do.

Overall, Harper was not exactly a winner in my book. It succeeded in its attempts to be like a James Bond film as it fell into all of those pitfalls. The romance, the dragged out feeling of the movie, the unlikable characters, the unprofessional main character, etc. The film had it all and that just wasn’t a good thing. I’ll give it props for the ending, but that’s about all that I can give the film at the moment. If you want a good classic film, check out Godzilla or the old Superman and the Mole Men movie. Those are classics and have aged quite well. I can’t say that this one has.

Overall 3/10