Snake Eyes vs Woody

This is a tribute to the Snake Eyes film. While he may not have looked as good as anticipated, I would say he still did well overall. Woody’s definitely not going to be able to take this guy on in a fair fight. Snake Eyes just has far too much speed and skill with a blade to be taken down. He has the advantage for sure. Snake Eyes wins.

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins Review

GI Joe is a film series that has really had a tough time making a name for itself. People know the franchise yet the movies all tend to get fairly weak reviews and Snake Eyes is now bombing at the box office. I thought the first two movies were great and while Snake Eyes doesn’t quite match their level, I thought it was very good. There’s just something about the franchise that doesn’t click on a national level but hopefully we still get some more films.

The movie starts with Snake’s (They call him Snake as a nickname during the film and it sounds more natural than saying “Snake Eyes” each time) father getting murdered by a group of villains. Snake is able to escape and vows revenge on these guys. We fast forward to the present where Snake works for the Yakuza. One day they turn on his friend Tommy so Snake is forced to defend him and they are both kicked out of the Yakuza. Tommy offers Snake a chance to join his clan by completing the 3 trials. The toughest part of this is going to be that the trials can be quite deadly and most people fail them. Additionally, the only way to win the trials is to have a clear heart and mind but of course Snake Eyes is still distracted by his origin as well as some secrets he is still hiding close to his heart. Will he be able to bluff through these trials or will his busy heart ultimately be his undoing?

Snake Eyes’ origin may be a little old at this point in how often the main character’s parent is murdered by some thugs at first but it is an easy way to steel Snake’s resolve for the rest of the film. The opening battle scene against the boxer in the underground fighting arena was a bit concerning. We get a ton of camera jumps and the guy holding the camera seemed to be getting dizzy as well so there’s a lot of spinning.

If all the fights were like that then it would not have boded well for the movie. Fortunately, the film really tightens up after that and the rest of the battles are on point. While the GI Joe and Cobra influences aren’t massive here, any fight scene with their factions is a lot of fun. Naturally the Snake Eyes sword battles are cool as well. I don’t anticipate this film’s battles winning against Moral Kombat or Shang Chi’s but they still hold up really well.

The best action scene might be early on when Snake and Tommy are fighting the Yakuza. It’s really early on but it was a good exhibition of their strengths. There are a good amount of fights so you’ll be covered on that front. It even makes things a bit funny when Scarlett and the Baroness show up since they just take out their guns and mow people down instead of bothering with the whole hand to hand business. They can fight that way too but guns are more efficient.

I enjoyed how stylistic the film was too. The title of the film shows up on a building, you have the time stamps appearing in random places, etc. It’s going for a very creative look over doing the normal kind of signage. It works well and while it’s the kind of thing that wouldn’t really earn or lose any points, it was fun enough to note. The special effects are on point to be sure and while we don’t see Snake Eyes’ costume for more than a minute, it already looks really sharp. Then again, I’ve always enjoyed his costume in any iteration.

As a main character Snake is good but actually not as good as I thought he would be. The main annoying thing for me is that he really doesn’t make the right decisions. He gets manipulated quite easily and ultimately picks his own vendettas over his conscience. Lets just say that he’ll do anything to find the guy who murdered his father no matter who he has to work for. This is actually a character arc you mainly just see for villains. They ignore the fact that they’re working for terrorists in order to get their vengeance. Snake is no different and so because of that you really feel like he’s a villain for most of the story.

We’re seeing the film through his eyes so he doesn’t appear as bad as the average villain but when you put things into perspective…it’s not a good look for him. If not for a plot twist at the end of the film, he really may not have even made the reluctantly correct choice at the end. I expect things will be better for him going forward but I was just surprised with him here since I’m used to him being known as a really honorable character. In terms of other personality differences, he is a lot more talkative here.

It doesn’t look like they’re going to go the route of having Snake mute in this one and I’m cool with this. If you’re taking the franchise in a new direction anyway then you might as well go all in. He was able to have more of a personality beyond being the silent tough guy this time. I could see this version of Snake having a lot of good banter with the rest of the characters. I may have had my reservations on his hero status but Snake’s personality itself was on point. He’s always ready for a fight and has a super quick temper. Maybe none of that sounds like Snake but those are qualities I like in my heroes so long as they’re directing this at the villains. So lets see him keep that intensity up as a Joe.

As for Tommy, anyone familiar with the GI Joe mythos will know where he is going but it’s still nice to see the journey. He is portrayed as being stronger than Snake but considerably weaker than Kenta. Tommy always seems a bit unhinged especially with how he blows up at Akiko from time to time. He believes he is destined to rule and often times those kinds of characters are pretty dangerous. Tommy makes for a good character but from the start you are pretty sure he won’t be a big hero.

Akiko does a good job of protecting the clan. From the start she is wary of Snake and for good reason. The guy is constantly vanishing from the facility and doing his own thing. If anything I feel like she should have told the clan about this. Even if she couldn’t pick Tommy since he was too emotionally invested, tell the clan leader or one of the other fighters. With a few more people it would have been easier to figure out what he was up to. She may ultimately be a bit softer on Snake than she should have been as one of the clan guardians though. Not all of the blame should be on her as the clan defenses are just awful though. Feels like you can infiltrate the area and get to the gem with incredible ease. There’s no cameras to see people leaving or coming in at night either so the place desperately needs new equipment.

As for Kenta, he’s the main villain and the guy is tougher than I would have expected. He is consistently shown to be the best fighter in the movie. Even without his super weapon the guy would probably be too much for the other characters one on one. There’s not much to him beyond just being the big villain though. The film’s really more about Snake’s journey than the antagonist so you won’t remember him much.

Then you have the crossover characters who are here to get you hyped up for the next GI Joe film. Scarlett’s intro appearance is definitely like something out of Black Widow. She beats up a bunch of goons while talking to the heroes and explaining what’s up. In a lot of ways her character has always been similar to Widow’s just she is infinitely cooler. Scarlett’s role here isn’t huge but her fights are always a lot of fun.

Likewise for Baroness who shows up to remind the ninja that Cobra calls the shots. Kenta isn’t quite afraid of them but we know Cobra’s a good thread. Baroness does well in the fights too and makes the most of her limited screen time. It would have been nice if she could have gotten her revenge on Kenta to get Cobra some hype but I suppose it just couldn’t work out that way. If Kenta could have ran a bit further, an excellent after credits scene would have been Team Cobra rolling up and taking that guy out for striking the Baroness.

Now, I do think that the Infinity Stone here should have been a little nerfed. Basically the ninja have a stone that can blow people up just by focusing on doing so. You can also make barriers and such. The problem is that the gem has no weak point and it activates almost instantly. Near the end of the film there is a scene where the 8 heroes all grin and strike poses as they mock Kenta. Kenta is holding the gem though so he should have grinned right back at them and then we see them all blow up. There’s no reason he couldn’t have done that and that’s the problem with writing in objects of power that are too useful.

Granted, there are many ways you could have written the characters being able to dodge the gem or disarm him but posing just isn’t it. The film enjoys its posing though as we get quite a few scenes of the characters just posing. Tommy and Snake get a lot of them with their swords. Scarlett and Baroness get quite a few and then you have the team shots. It’s fun for theatrics and getting you hyped but you just want to be careful doing that when the opponent has any kind of long range weapon.

It’s also pretty cool that effectively the first big Cobra and Joe team up is in a Snake Eyes film. I won’t say anything more about that but usually that’s something you would leave for the third film in a trilogy like Transformers or something like that. In that sense it definitely continues to help amp up Snake Eyes but you also just can’t wait for more Joe films. If anything, watching the Snake Eyes film just got me extra hyped to go back and rewatch the first two.

Now, where do we go from here? The film has an after credits scene which is also setting up GI Joe. I think the next step is that you need to have a full GI Joe film. Since Snake Eyes led this new part of the franchise off, maybe you can do it like X-Men. So Snake Eyes will be the main character for the rest of the film. He’s still a drifter but he ends up helping the Joes when he finds out that Tommy’s going to be at their destination. It’ll be a very different take on the series but it could work if they need to try something fresh. This should be a whole new rebooted part of the franchise after all and that would be a good way to do it.

As a final side note, the film has a Peter Parker moment where Snake decides to let a villain go because the whole thing is no longer his problem. In some ways it’s worse than Peter as he knows this guy is a global terrorist working for a powerful organization. Sure, the organization cut him loose but this guy is incredibly dangerous. Any future deaths will now be on his head. It feels like the film didn’t mean for this to be a big scene but I would hope it will come up in the future. This scene just didn’t make any sense though, I don’t see why you would ever let a villain like this go. Deciding not to murder a villain isn’t the same as cutting them free….but yeah that scene definitely popped out at me.

Overall, Snake Eyes is a pretty solid film. It has a lot of great fight scenes and special effects. The pacing of the movie is good and it’s really over before you know it. It might not have the nonstop intensity of a mainline GI Joe film but when the fights do come they tend to look good. Having most of the film take place around Shibuya was also fun since it makes for a lot of fun landmarks. Some of the backgrounds even reminded me of TMNT. It may take a lot of liberties from what you’re used to as a classic Joe story but it’s executed well so I’m looking forward to seeing this vision through to the end.

Overall 7/10

Snake Eyes vs Cloud

Suggested by Destroyer Snake Eyes is a skilled ninja who prefers to operate in total silence. This really lets him concentrate on making sure that his hits are as precise as possible. Cloud has no need for such a tactic though and prefers to win with raw power. A single swing from his sword is enough to win the match if the hit connects. I can’t stress enough just how strong Cloud is. He is in a completely different league from most sword fighters and over time I’ve grown to accept that this is okay. Some fighters simply are that good and it’s why FFVII will always be legendary. Cloud wins.

Snake Eyes vs Venom

Suggested by Destroyer Snake Eyes is definitely a skilled ninja who is always around to save the rest of the GI Joe squad. Still, he will not be able to compete with Venom here as he is simply too powerful. Venom won’t even get hurt by the sword all that much and will be able to trap Snake Eyes in place if the ninja attempts such a tactic. Throw in his nearly unbreakable webbing and you have a very tough fight to make headway in. Venom wins.

GI Joe The Rise of Cobra Stats and Records

Stats time!

PS3 Trophy% 41%

Stage Stats Briefcases Info Cards Contact Tags Ranks

Arctic 1 2/2 3/3 1/1 3/5
Arctic 2 2/2 3/3 0/0 3/5
Arctic 3 2/2 3/3 1/1 3/5
Arctic 4 4/4 3/3 1/1 3/5
Arctic 5 0/2 4/4 0/0 3/5
Arctic 6 1/1 1/2 1/1 3/5
Desert 1 0/1 1/4 1/1 2/5
Desert 2 1/3 2/4 0/0 3/5
Desert 3 1/1 1/2 0/0 2/5
Desert 4 1/1 2/3 0/1 2/5
Desert 5 1/1 2/4 0/0 3/5
Desert 6 0/1 0/2 0/1 0/5
Jungle 1 1/2 1/4 0/1 1/5
Jungle 2 1/1 0/2 0/1 2/5
Jungle 3 2/2 2/4 0/0 2/5
Jungle 4 0/1 3/4 0/0 2/5
Jungle 5 0/1 0/3 0/1 0/5
Tundra 1 2/2 3/3 0/0 2/5
Tundra 2 1/1 3/4 0/0 3/5
Tundra 3 1/1 1/2 3/3 3/5

GI Joe The Rise of Cobra Review

GI Joe is one of those games that you really can’t help, but check out. It’s the very definition of a movie tie in as it has everything that you would expect one to have. I think that one of the ways that you can tell whether a game is big budget or not is the little things. As a whole, this game may look like any other overhead shooter, but it’s the small things that keep it from reaching the heights of other great shooters. No matter, it is still a pretty fun game and one that definitely gives you your money’s worth.

The Joes have captured Baroness and the Cobra organization appears to be gone for good. Everything is right in the world until they are attacked and Baroness escapes. It appears that Cobra may not be dead after all and they are using their new teleportation technology to create a lot of havoc. Duke is going to have to go back on the field with the other Joes to stop the enemies from gaining ground. The only question on everyone’s minds is…”Can Cobra really be back?” Time to find out!

There are 20 levels to be found here, which is a pretty reasonable amount. The levels are long enough so that they can’t be called short while not being nearly as long as a War for Cybertron or Shattered Dimensions stage. I’d say that they’re juuust right if you ask me. The levels are pretty repetitive as you go on, but the actual gameplay is always fun so I wouldn’t really count that as a negative. The gameplay is similar to Centipede Infestation or Alien Syndrome. It’s overhead, but close enough to the ground where it can almost feel 3D. You won’t realize that it is overhead until you are done…or that is typically the case anyway.

You take out your guns and try to quickly destroy all of the enemies who are in your way. Typically, your objective will be to destroy certain objects along your way to the end. This means that you can actually skip a lot of the enemies if you really don’t want to bother facing them. I do recommend fighting them since it’ll help you earn points to get more badges, but it’s your call. Beating the levels on casual difficulty will let you quickly get through them, but you will not be able to get 5 star ranks that way so it’s a double edged sword. The gameplay never gets old and it’s a lot of fun to just blast everyone in your way. You’ll rarely need to resort to hand to hand combat, but it can be fun to use once in a while as a change up.

Graphically, the game definitely doesn’t impress. The facial expressions can definitely look pretty bad, but it can be in a humorous way so I can’t really fault it. It’s pretty sub standard for a PS3 game, but I didn’t expect anything more than that. The graphics still look pretty good during the gameplay, which is what counts. No frills or extra things to polish up the graphics, but that’s all right. The soundtrack can be a little uneven as some themes are just really loud. Notably the “Go Joe” theme that plays when you activate your power up. Mixed in with the sound of your gun constantly firing, you’ll be tempted to lower the volume. The stage themes are pretty unmemorable, but they aren’t bad. The characters can sound pretty intriguing though and Cobra Commander is the best example of this. The writers definitely are not familiar with his character since he sounds nothing like the villain that we’re used too. He’s constantly losing his cool and shrieking. The Commander doesn’t even try to keep up a tough facade as he panics when the Joes break in. It’s tough for his fans to watch, but you will likely get a good chuckle out of him.

GI Joe definitely shines when it comes to the Replay Value aspect. There are 130 emblems to get, which will take you some time since getting 5 stars on every stage is truly a feat. You will need to find several collectibles in each level which can be tough and let’s not forget the trophies. They’re all pretty fair and while they can be time consuming, none of them feel cheap. If you really want to get the Platinum in this game, I’m confident that you will be able too. I’ve thought about it and I may get it at some point, but I’ll settle for obtaining most of the trophies for now.

The ending to the game is pretty unsatisfying though. First of all, there is no final boss. That’s pretty discouraging since each world had a final boss aside from the last one. Instead of fighting Cobra Commander, we got to fight a few generators that some minions were protecting. The game also plays it a little too safe with the story and all of the villains end up getting away aside from Baroness. That means that we go right back to the status quo from the beginning of the game where this was the case…..a bit lazy if you ask me.

Now, I mentioned that it’s the little things that separate this from a high budget shooter. One example of this is naturally the minor glitches. Nothing major luckily, but sometimes your gun will just go through an opponent and you’ll need to stop shooting and quickly start again. That’s not terrible and it’s quite rare, but it’s a little thing. Camera angles can be tricky and it’s easy to get lost in some of the levels. The gameplay is a lot of fun, but it’s not very deep so you really need to enjoy it or you will definitely find it repetitive. I recommend always choosing Heavy Duty since he has the best super attack in the game.

Overall, GI Joe The Rise of Cobra is a pretty fun PS3 game. It won’t be winning any awards in the near future, but it’s the kind of game that really goes by quickly. You’ll never feel bored as you tackle the Cobra agents and the plot is decently engaging. I’m glad that we do get actual cutscenes so the game definitely didn’t skip out on the budget. At 20 levels, it’s definitely long enough for you to spend a few days on it and more if you want the Platinum. I recommend this to all action fans who own a PS3.

Overall 7/10

Transformers vs GI Joe Review

It’s time for another one of the Free comics from this year’s event. This comic is the start of a whole new series where these two popular franchises will duke it out. Since it is the first issue; we don’t get to see them fight all that much, but it is the set up. It also serves as an alternate retelling for both sides so that the continuity fit. Unfortunately, the art and character personalities take the comic down a few notches.

The plot involves the Joes as they are taking down a Cobra base and thoroughly enjoying it. None of them are actually taking it seriously, but Cobra is still pretty confident since things are going according to plan. The plan changes a little because Bumblebee and Starscream are duking it out. The Decepticon has a pretty huge advantage and explosions ripple across the area. Will the Joes be able to finish off Cobra Commander and still have enough energy left to take on a Decepticon?

The plot itself is decent, but the dialogue can be a little painful. Duke and Snake Eyes spend most of their screen time flirting with Scarlet. It’s sad enough that such an epic commander like Duke would be doing this while on a mission of life and death, but Snake Eyes? Snake Eyes is supposed to be the quiet and tough ninja that does what must be done. Not only does he ditch the mask, but Snake Eyes talks a lot. He makes many puns and jokes while showing off the fact that he’s not as professional as he used to be. Snake Eyes gets a lot of hype for his reasoning skills, but then he throws an ordinary grenade at a huge robot. I don’t believe that this was a very smart move.

The ending is pretty sad for the heroes. Bumblebee has a pretty sad fate in store for him and the Joes have a man down. Hopefully, Duke will bounce back from this and look good again. That way, the rest of the Joes can follow suit. The first issue is supposed to make you want to pick up the series, but I can’t say that this one did anything for me. It just wasn’t that fun to read.

The artwork is pretty bad and at times it feels as if it’s a fan comic. I really have to say that the art is some of the most underwhelming that I have seen in ages and the bandages scene was particularly hard to look at. I actually had to make sure that this was the official comic as I was reading it. Art is something that can really help a comic if done right and these drawings just bring the issue down.

Overall, Transformers vs GI Joe may have just been called GI Joe: Attack on Cobra! The Transformers cross paths with the Joes for a second, but they’re mainly involved in completely different plots. Naturally, this is because it’s only the first issue, but it doesn’t change the fact that we didn’t get a whole lot of interaction. I wouldn’t pick up the next issues based on this one and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it to the casual reader. Start off with the Transformers and New Avengers crossover instead.

Overall 5/10

Gemini Saga vs Snake Eyes

Gemini Saga is a pretty powerful opponent and he could easily take out the entire planet if he wished too. Snake Eyes is quick and his sword skills should be feared, but he won’t be able to win in the longrun. Gemini Saga has already fought over 100 times on the blog and he won 70+. Snake Eyes won’t be able to deal with that level of power. Gemini Saga wins.

Snake Eyes vs Deadpool

Snake Eyes has some pretty impressive speed and takes this round. Deadpool’s a tough fighter, but I’m not sure how he can hope to win this round. Ever since seeing Sigma 6, I’ve gained newfound respect for Snake Eyes and his abilities. Deadpool will be back someday. Snake Eyes wins.

Shadowdragon vs Snake Eyes

Before Sigma 6 this fight could have been a lot different. However, in that show Snake Eyes has showed his incredible speed and striking ability. He’s probably on par or better than Shadowdragon in that fighting style. Not to mention that he has energy guns that can do some massive damage! Snake Eyes wins.