Monthly Archives: March 2015

The Last: Naruto The Movie Review

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All right readers, for your benefit, I chose this version of the poster, which eliminates a certain picture that would likely be a pretty big spoiler. Now, you can skip this review without a worry! Once you have finished the manga or finished the anime (Which would be impossible at the moment) feel free to check out this review! I’ll probably be avoiding spoilers for the most part, but some may need to be mentioned at some point. We shall see…..I also typically do not include “The Movie” in the title, but seeing as how this is the final one in the main series, I suppose that I may as well. This film certainly lived up to the hype and it is quite possibly the second best Naruto film to date. I highly recommend checking it out and I’m glad that I got to support it by watching it in theaters last week.

It has been quite a while since the battle to decide the fate of the multiverse. Roughly 2 years I believe. The villages are at peace and war seems to be a thing of the past. Most of the heroes have let themselves go as their new designs are cringeworthy, but this leaves them unprepared for what is about to happen next. After being friend zoned by Naruto (Unintentionally, but still…) Hinata heads home only to discover that her sister has been kidnapped and she’s next. Naruto notices that the villains are heading off with Hinata and quickly dismantles them in a way that would make Vegeta proud. Toneri, the villain behind this, announces that he shall have Hinata as well and heads off. Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru, Sakura, and Sai give chase and they must find his base as quickly as possible. That’s because…the Moon is going to crash on the planet and wipe out the human race. Naruto can’t let that happen!

Let’s get one of the big things out of the way from the get go…this film has a large romance part to it. You could definitely call this an action romance and you wouldn’t be wrong as the romance is as integral to the plot as the action part. You can imagine that I feigned surprise at this from the first trailer. This simply wasn’t the Naruto that I knew! It’s handled pretty well. They don’t randomly start making out and the film doesn’t give us any cheap fanservice shenanigans. No, it’s all played in a rather classy fashion. One of the big drawbacks about having fanservice is that it does make Naruto act way out of character for good chunks of the film. Since when he has ever cared for romance barring the occasional Sakura reference? Naruto’s more into having fun and brawling and this incarnation of Naruto loses that to an extent. I do think that adding the romance subplot is something that shouldn’t have been done, but it happened and I’ll just have to get used to it. Now that it’s official, it shouldn’t be too bad in the way that I don’t mind Minato/Kushina or Vegeta/Bulma. That being said, Naruto’s personality better now change for the worse in the upcoming Boruto (No, it’s not an asylum parody) film!

Next up, let’s talk about Naruto’s portrayal as a whole. Aside from the whole romance thing, he looks pretty good. The main reason why I liked him so much in this film is that he really wasn’t messing around. When the village was attacked by the enemy, Naruto quickly threw himself into the action. A lesser film would have had him be defeated rather easily, but this film went the logical route and Naruto wrecked them pretty easily. Naruto is the hero who saved the universe and there should not be a single being who can stand up to him at this point. Seriously, Naruto should easily outrank everyone in speed as well as strength. To help make things a little more fair, Naruto doesn’t use his Chakra mode or Nine Tailed Fox until the very end, but I’m glad that Naruto was still winning with ease.

He’s surprisingly brutal as he takes off someone’s leg with one of his attacks and splits many people in half. There is a twist though so Naruto is still the good ole hero that we once knew. This is a time where I probably would not have indeed either way though as he was helping a friend and was not so much aiming to kill as he was just making sure to recover her. (I don’t want to take a shot at Mario, but he does let Peach get kidnapped a whole lot…) The only part of the film where Naruto looks pretty bad is when he gets depressed after being rejected. Again, we can blame this on the romance part as this should have never happened. It was the most out of character thing for Naruto to do and it was pretty sad. Beyond that, this was a good portrayal of Naruto, the hero.

Hinata is finally trying to express her feelings for Naruto, but it’s a tough road since many have already beat her to the punch. She tries to put this to the side as the heroes head in to save her sister, but she finds this difficult. She continues to try and knit a scarf throughout the film and we learn why it is so important thanks to the beginning flashbacks. (Where Naruto looked underpowered…but I’ll accept that for now) She does make some really frustrating decisions like deciding to go with Toneri to find her sister though and this made her hard to root for at times. She really didn’t plan this out and her plan was doomed from the start. I also like to think that she could have beaten the minions at the beginning, but I suppose that they aren’t pushovers, Naruto just makes them look that way. We have to remember that Naruto is so much stronger than the rest of the villagers that teaming up, I doubt that could defeat him at this point. Hinata is still a likable character, but as far as heroines go, I prefer Sakura. Hinata’s future could be looking up though since she’s trying to come out of her shell more and more. I believe that the ending should have helped out with that in a big way. (There is an after credits scene so you should stick around)

Toneri wants to destroy the Earth and he has a good reason for it. Someone told him to do this! Unfortunately, he wants Hinata to be his pride and that’s where he goes downhill. He actually thought that she was making him a scarf, which is pretty naive. He’s also very full of himself. As a character, he’s certainly not great, but as a villain he definitely works. His final form is like something out of Gurren Lagann and he puts up a tremendous fight. He’s like a mini, guy version of Kaguya! His voice was also nice and menacing. He didn’t have a really big final form like you would expect, but this one was streamlined, which makes it all worth it. He could have been better if not for the ole romance part of his personality, but he was a cool way to end Naruto’s long array of battles.

Fans will be disappointed that Sasuke’s role is extremely small. The audience still cheered whenever he appeared on screen, but you could tell that everyone was hoping he would fight more. He got to destroy a large meteor and then he left again, but the film missed a big chance to make him help the heroes. With his new abilities, he could have instantly warped to the moon without a problem. It would have been awesome to have seen him defeat Toneri. Ah well, maybe he’ll get to fight a little more in the next main Naruto film. It could be a while, but let’s face it, the cast of Naruto shall be back at some point!
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I need to talk about some of the friends as well since some of the other characters looked pretty bad. The Raikage is a great example of this as he decides that if destroying Naruto is the riskiest way to save the planet…so be it! That may have flied back in the day when the Raikage was a villain, but he’s supposed to be a hero right? This just looks incredibly pretty and this makes it really hard to ever like him as a character. The other Kage are also powerless to stop him, which makes them all look rather weak. Killer Bee looks good since he stands by Naruto until the very end. The other supporting characters are mostly just there and don’t get a whole lot to do. Kakashi’s new “hunch” gimmick isn’t bad and I don’t mind if he keeps that around. Seeing him fight a little bit would have been nice, but I suppose that it was too much to hope for. This isn’t your average filler film where everyone jumps in with their special attacks after all. It’s mostly about Naruto and that’s fine since this is the end of the road. Fans of the Nine Tailed Fox will be happy to see him appear, but he looks pretty bad during his fight. He has his moment at the end, but it’s still disappointing to see him struggle so much against your average rock giant. The longer that he is out, the longer that Naruto is left without him as well. Naruto would have crushed Toneri a lot sooner if it had been the two of them against him.

The character designs also deserve a mention since I really don’t like any of them. That’s right, all of the new character designs barring Toneri’s look pretty bad. I definitely can’t dig Sasuke’s new cape and most of the other characters suffer from similar fate. Some characters like Sakura, Kakashi, and Ino are basically sparred since their designs didn’t really change, but others like Kiba and Naruto’s can be tough to watch. Naruto has one moment during the ramen scene where he just looks so big and buff that you’ll have to do a double take. The animation keeps away from that angle after that, but it’ll still take you by surprise. If I can ever get used to a new design, it’ll likely be Naruto’s, but I’m still going to miss the older ones. Plus, I’ll probably just associate Naruto’s new design with the romance plot, which won’t help his case.

Beyond the designs, the fight scenes are incredible. The villains all use energy blast techniques, which is new to the Naruto franchise. (For the most part) It makes for some great visuals and the final fight is really like a DBZ battle as Naruto and Toneri are essentially flying across the planet and really knocking each other with everything that they have. Planets are sliced in half and Naruto proves that he can match Ichigo’s energy feat by blocking a planet busting laser with his hand. He’s certainly improved since the old says to be sure. Naruto still has his traditional Rasengans, (Which he uses to vaporize one of the minions) but now he tends to use the Chakra Rasengan as well as the Rasenshuriken instead. It takes up more chakra, but Naruto has an almost limitless supply of that at this point and the power increase is dramatic. Again, you may attribute it to plot hax that Naruto doesn’t think to use his Chakra Mode until the very end of the film even when it may have helped against Toneri in round 1, but no hero goes all out in the beginning. Ichigo usually does, but even he has his moments where he just feels his opponent out first. It goes without saying that the animation is top notch here. So, even when there is no fight scene taking place, the village has never looked so good. It now looks a little more like Tokyo and it has certainly become modernized. You may wonder how things could have changed so quickly in such a time frame, but these are ninja who move at lightspeed so it’s not impossible.

Oh yeah, one scene that was a little iffy involves someone taking out someone’s eyes. I think that was rather unnecessary and even Toneri doing it to one of the heroes was a bit much. The Naruto franchise has always had a thing for transplanting eyes, but I certainly could have done without it. It’s one of those things that you don’t even want to remember since that would be way too painful. Ugh…..Ugu! Well, at least it’s just one scene right?

If I had to grasp at another negative, it would be that some flashbacks happen way too many times. I’m mainly talking about the Iruka one where the moon is said to be falling down. It appeared a few times in rapid succession along with a few others. I probably would have preferred them to have only happened once, a second time if necessary. Also, the scene leads into some plot hax since Naruto can’t break out of a simple genjutsu. That’s why he has the Fox with him right? Hmmmmmm….

This is hardly your average review though so instead of dividing it into positives and negatives, I’ve scattered them throughout the review. Based on the rating, you can tell that the positives do heavily outweigh the negatives though which is a good thing. Some things will be a little odd like Naruto not healing Might Guy, but I’ll just have to accept that Naruto doesn’t want to heal everyone. It’s similar to Gurren Lagann’s ending in that sense if you think about it. Defying fate is not something that is for every hero to do. I also think that destroying the Moon when it came crashing down shouldn’t be a problem for the heroes, but let’s talk about the power levels besides that little part. (Still an inaccuracy if you ask me)

Now, where do these guys rank power level wise? Naruto and Sasuke are the only two heroes who are much stronger than they used to be, but Sasuke doesn’t get many feats so I won’t discuss him much. With his eye abilities plus his physical strength, Sasuke should still be a match for someone like an Espada, but it’s a battle with many variables. As for Naruto, I think it’s safe to say that this places him at around Tsuna’s level and he could probably give SSJ1 Goku a good fight from the Frieza arc. It’s still a little much to say that he could defeat someone like Cell or SSJ2 Goku, but he’s certainly moved up. Keep in mind that Naruto doesn’t have his strongest form anymore so if you imagine how strong that one would be with his current stats, the possibilities certainly grow! I don’t believe that Toneri is as strong as Madara or Obito’s final form, but he did look more impressive than Kaguya. I’m satisfied with that although I still think that Naruto should have probably had the upper hand a little sooner.
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Overall, This was a fun way to end the Naruto franchise. It was pretty heavy with the romance, but it certainly could have been worse and hopefully now the fans can accept what I always knew, that Naruto and Sakura are just friends along with everyone else. Being stuck in the friend zone is a good thing after all. The fights in this film are incredible and in that area, it certainly is the best Naruto film. The battles seriously keep up with Battle of Gods and this film was infinitely more satisfying. Battle of Gods left a bad taste in my mouth with the ending and I’ll probably never get over that or my dislike of Bills. Of course, the real question is whether or not this will be able to defeat Rebirth of F. It’s hard to say, but the problem is that for DBZ is that it seems to have less of a theatrical feal to it compared to Naruto. Naruto has the overwhelming edge in its soundtrack and I dare say that the animation is superior as well. If DBZ brings its A game, it should still have a good chance at winning this round, but we’ll have to see. Naruto definitely won’t go down easily. I highly recommend checking this film out and I don’t see why any Naruto fan would skip it. If you have not seen anything Naruto related before, this could be a good film to check out and then you can watch the shows as a prequel instead of watching it first. How’s that sound? Just be aware that the rest of the series won’t be quite as high tier. Also, it should be noted that Age of Ultron has now been dethroned for this year. There is literally no way that it can be better than this Naruto film. Unless Rebirth of F can top it, nothing will. This is why I’m glad that the film had a theatrical feel that many anime films do not, this way the general audience can recognize it as being epic as well as the true anime fans.

Overall 9/10

The Window Review

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Is it just me or does the kid look much older in the poster than in the film? Well, that happens I guess. The Window is one of those tragedy films where the lead is pretty helpless and it is supposed to let you sympathize with the hero while also fearing the villain. Suffice it to say, this does not work very well. The Window is similar to the Bad Seed in that the retro feeling simply could not save it. I’m afraid we’re in for another tough review!

Tommy is a little kid who typically lies and exaggerates to keep the attention on him. He doesn’t mean to let things get out of hand, but they typically do. One day, he witnesses a tragic murder and tells his parents, but it is too late. Tommy has already burned his bridges so nobody will believe him at this point. When the murderers find out that Tommy knows, they decide to take him down once and for all. This is going to be a tough battle for Tommy!

I can sympathize with the fact that Tommy tends to exaggerate a little. The lying is pretty uncalled for though, but I tend to exaggerate things myself or at least, I did a lot back in the day. Sometimes a story doesn’t have enough of the Wow factor so you have to add things in. Like, making the guy 10 feet instead of 7 in your story or maybe adding some extra punches in. You don’t mean to do it, but it just happens. Naturally, as you get older, this gets much easier to control. Tommy’s pretty young so he’s still getting the hang of that. I like to think that he’ll learn better very quickly…especially thanks to the results.

That being said, he’s still not a great lead. You may already be familiar with this from my older reviews, but I typically don’t like having a kid as the main character or even as one of the main supporting characters. It simply doesn’t work for a live action film or TV show. If Tommy was a little bit older, this story would be very different since he could have taken matters into his own hands. As it stands, he does a pretty good job of evading the crooks in the climax of the film, but we don’t get any real fights.

It’s actually a little disappointing for Tommy’s parents since they don’t get to help out at the end. I was expecting the dad to fight the criminals towards the end when he went home, but the film decided to take another route. Instead, it was Tommy who confronted them and that was certainly less exciting than my version of events would have been. The parents really made things difficult for Tommy and at the very least, they should have taken him with them. Leaving him alone at home when he’s scared of the neighbors is certainly not the wisest thing to do.

For once, I think the police actually looked pretty decent, or at least some of them did. The Chief actually tells one of the inspectors to check out the neighbor’s house just in case Tommy was on to something. It ultimately didn’t pan out since the investigator was tricked very quickly, but the fact that he gave it a shot was pretty neat. The other Policemen definitely weren’t very coordinated though as seen when the dad was looking for Tommy. One of them had just seen him so you would think that he would have been able to mention it when the alert went out.

That brings to mind the taxi scene. It really stretches your imagination and it’s hard to believe that the cab driver did not notice the kidnappers knocking out Tommy and being mean to him the whole time. Seriously, it really makes you wonder. The writers dug themselves into a hole with that scene and had to think of a pretty unconvincing way to get out of it. A serious of unfortunate coincidences brought Tommy to that point as well like when the grandfather called to have the mom leave. It’s very convenient to say the least.

The film has a happy ending, but it is not a pleasant watch and that severely limits its rating potential. Again, having a kid as the main character is detrimental to a film because we know that he is completely helpless so the film is really just about him being terrified and beaten up the whole time. That’s just not something that is going to entertain you and the whole concept behind the film is pretty bad. With enough light natured fun and gimmicks, it can actually be good like in Home Alone, but that’s the exception, not the rule. There are no real fun scenes to speak of here and the film takes itself too seriously for its own good.

Overall, The Window is one of those old films that actually isn’t very good. The writing isn’t even exceptional, which is rare for a film of its time. There’s a lot of plot hax to be found here so that the villains can have a fighting chance, which wrecks the realism of the film at times. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it and this isn’t the kind of film that will leave you with a smile afterwards. It’s an intriguing adaption/moral retelling of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, but that story was better in the fables. Or at least, one version of them since those tend to have many different endings. Instead of this title, I recommend checking out the film “Yugioh Bonds Beyond Time!” Now that is an epic adventure filled with suspense and danger.

Overall 2/10

The Law of Ueki Plus Review

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The Law of Ueki was one of my favorite manga titles back when I had been reading it. The ending had not been totally satisfying, but it definitely had a good run. I was certainly thrilled to hear that it got a proper sequel. Not one of those spinoffs where you wonder what happened like with Beelzebub, but a sequel that would take itself seriously and contain a lot of action. It is certainly not as good as the original series, but it is still a good title and it’s nice to see Ueki back again. This sequel was as good as I had hoped it would be.

Ueki’s life has returned to normal after the events of the last film. He is back to being an ordinary human, but that doesn’t stop him from helping people out like the good ole days. When his best friend is attacked by a mysterious foe, Ueki launches into battle. It is a valiant effort, but the die had been cast. All of the inhabitants of Earth minus Ueki have lost their memories. Ueki must now venture into a new world to win a big tournament and get everyone’s memories back!

It is a race against time and I have always liked the tournament angle so it was a good move for the series. Law of Ueki Plus is 5 volumes long and the tournament takes up most of the series. It is paced pretty well although the ending is certainly rushed. The tournament also didn’t get a proper conclusion, which was a little sad. It is not entirely unexpected since that actually does happen a lot, but it is always sad to see.

Ueki is still a very likable main character. He is very trusting and always ready to lend a helping hand. He can easily be considered one of the most heroic leads in manga. That being said, it can be tough to see him talk so big when he is typically outmatched in this series. He has the ability to stretch his mop. It is a really terrible ability and it makes the plot hax s little more evident than usual. How can Ueki hope to match opponents who have super strength and speed at their disposal? Ueki is back to being a normal guy besides the mop right so how is he actually enduring these hits? It definitely stretches your imagination quite a bit.

To the manga’s credit, they do give Ueki a subplot where he wants to get stronger so that he can back up his words and protect his friends. It is a noble effort to be sure, but it is still pretty dicey at first. Ueki actually mentions that power doesn’t really matter at one point. He changes his mind after being defeated in battle, but based on the events from the first series, he should definitely remember why being strong is important. So, he is very heroic, but he simply can’t back up his promises for a good chunk of the series, which is sad. Nonetheless, it’s hard for this guy not to instantly become one of your favorite main characters when he utters so many hardcore lines. “I’ll definitely find a way!”m

Nagara is one of the supporting characters in the series although he is not much of a fighter….or is he? Nagara is mainly just used for hype and he never actually helps since he wants Ueki and the other friends to level up on their own. Nagara has a healing ability at his disposal, which is pretty neat. That being said, he is lucky that he is physically super human as well or he could have gotten speedblitzed. He is decent I suppose, but not very interesting. I certainly could have done without him. If Nagara had gotten his own fight, that would have really helped his chances.

Haiji is one of Ueki’s teammates for the tournament. He has a dishwasher that he can throw at people and he is also able to shoot blasts at water by the end. The ability isn’t great, but it is a start. Again, he is fairly generic and not in a good way. Haiji doesn’t like to act as nice as he is to preserve his tough rep and he is always squabbling with another one of the members. His sob story is also a bit much considering how heroic he wanted to be. He is a loyal ally, but not one that you will end up being a big fan of.

Sora is the final member of the crew and he really likes eating. When he eats a burger, he is able to “double.” This means that he can split in two or double his speed. Those are just a few examples of what he can do. Naturally, this is easily the best ability from the whole group. It is an ability that you can actually take seriously! Personality wise, Sora isn’t likable either. Seeing a pattern? Aside from Ueji, who is an established character anyway, none of the characters are that good. I think that it is a sign of the author running out of ideas. Sora likes to pretend that he doesn’t know what is going on sometimes and he spends a lot of time just trolling everyone. He finally gets serious near the end and then we figure out that he isn’t even used to fighting. He does get some good fights of course, but I would have preferred another personality for his character.

Byaku is one of the antagonists, but he really just has a hard time sharing his feelings. There is a big plot twist in why he wants to win the tournament and let’s just say that it probably won’t help you become a fan. He was actually my favorite villain in the series even if it’s by default to an extent. His ability to manipulate his hair was certainly formidable and it was one of the best powers in the series.
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Minus is the final boss of the series and he makes for a climactic finish. His design is mostly good although I could have done without the lipstick. As far as his personality goes, that’s another story altogether. His reasoning for wanting all of the memories to go away isn’t great and bringing along one of Ueki’s friends was pretty pointless. Villains do love their mindgames at times, but I need a better reason than that. He has a really cool energy blade that is not only practical for battles, but a must have if you are to stay relevant. One of his first decisions is to take out Ueki’s arms and it’s a solid battle strategy. His speed is also pretty unreal as he took out two of the heroes before they even knew that he had moved. He’s pretty high tier and it’s hard to see how Ueki was able to give him a fight at all. That being said, this is Law of Ueki Plus. The series where Ueki went from being a normal human to a guy with LS reactions after being asleep for a while. The power levels are certainly ditched from time to time, but it does make for some great scenes. Minus may not have been an interesting villain and his comic relief moment at the beginning was a little off putting, but he tries to be cool.

The villain who really stole the show was Spark. Now that was a great villain! I’d also go as far as to say that he is the strongest one in the series. He essentially took out the whole cast of the series without breaking a sweat. It was just his bad luck that he had to go up against an enraged Ueki. Spark has super speed at his disposal as long as he blows into his whistle. It may seem like an odd gimmick, but it certainly works. Without plot hax, there’s really not a single character in this series who can hope to defeat this guy. I’ve already mentioned that the series does have a lot of power level inconsistencies, but this fight definitely took the cake. There’s no way that Ueki should have been able to have outsped him so much here. It was an incredible scene since we hadn’t gotten to see Ueki this hardcore since the original series, but the author should have just gone all the way and given him a true power up. There was a power up in this scene, but it should have had no effect on his speed. That being said, this fight is the highlight of the series and you won’t want to miss it. It may be the longest one as well!

All right, the characters section was certainly pretty negative for the most part, but the main character was still good and we had a great villain, which helps a lot. You may have thought that the manga was not very good based on that, but I can assure you that it is still a fun series. For starters, the action scenes are a lot of fun. We get a lot of them as the series goes on and I am always a fan of a good action scene. I do wish that the heroes had better abilities though since the villains really should win if we disregard plot hax. I feel like the series really held itself back by weakening the heroes so much. Give Ueki his old powers back and the heroes will be in a great position. This hurt the potential of the series for Earth shattering fights, but as I mentioned earlier, we still got quite a few fun ones over the course of this adventure and I was satisfied.

Considering that this is a sequel, fans may also be saddened by the fact that the old cast doesn’t get to appear aside from some brief cameos. They may have lost their memories, but it would have been great to have seen them try to help out at the very least. This is barely a negative though and simply another path that the series could have taken. It would have been well worth the author’s time to have done this as it would have been great seeing the old cast come in to help out. They weren’t very tough either to be honest, but it would still have been fun.

It was a quick journey, but it really hit all the right notes. There was no fanservice to be found here and the series never got excessive in any aspect. The villains mean business and they deliver some big hits to the heroes, but it never goes too far. You have to give a lot of credit to the artist here. The series isn’t always very consistent, but some scenes look downright amazing. When Ueki returned to the battlefield, it’s hard not to cheer with such a great splash page. The fights look good and the writing is also very good. This is a series that is easy to pick up and read all the way through without a break. What keeps it from an 8 are really the character issues from earlier and how short it is. With some more intense battles and an extra volume or two, I’m confident that this would get an 8. So, don’t let the 7 stars fool you, this is still an excellent title to check out.
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Overall, Law of Ueki Plus is a pretty fun sequel. It is easily one of the best manga sequels that I have read. It loses to DBZ, Duelist, and Gigamix, but it probably beats almost everything else. The cast was pretty unimpressive and the heroes were given pretty bad powers for the most part, but we had very good artwork and action scenes to counteract that. This series ended really quickly so it probably would have been able to address most of my critiques with more time, but this was just how the ball bounced. Law of Ueki still ended the franchise on a high note and I definitely recommend this to fans of the original and to anyone who wants a good action title to check out. Also, if you’re looking for a main character to root for, Ueki is your man! Who else uses a mop to tie up someone who can run faster than a Bullet Train?

Overall 7/10

The Happening Review

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This review is of the edited TV PG version. All thoughts below pertain to such even if I reference the fact that it was not originally PG. Know that a review of the uncut version would likely be harsher and have a lower score.
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It’s time to check out the next horror film…The Happening! Many of you have probably heard of this film. I probably saw the title at some point, but I wasn’t very into the world of films at the time so I missed out on most of the titles. Still, it has a reputation of not being so great and I can safely say that the reputation is deserved. It’s essentially your average horror film and there are no real original or creative scenes to be found here. It relies on the driving power of its shock value scenes and that’s never a recipe for success.

One day, a large group of people decide to destroy themselves. Scientists believe that this is an attack from terrorists and they try to calm the people, but it is too late. These attacks are spreading across the country and even manage to take out New Jersey and New York. This just got very personal and Elliott quickly dashes onto a train so that he can get out of Philadelphia. The problem is that no state in the US is safe…perhaps no place in the world! Are these isolates incidents at all of the big parks and small towns really the work of terrorists or is it something more…environmental?

Hmmm…makes you think a little eh? This is the kind of film that I would consider to be a slasher even if we don’t have a Jason or a Freddy running around. It feels like a Slasher in the sense that everyone dies in brutal ways as the cast is offed one by one. So, nobody’s destroying them, but you almost get the same effect. There are so many shock value scenes that you will just be trying to figure out how it’s all going to end. Who will be the last survivor and who will end up being the victor. That’s what we’ll really have to think about here.

To an extent, I still do give horror films some credit in that area. The plot does tend to be pretty interesting. I can’t argue against that. Whether it be Resident Evil or The Fog, the plot is typically pretty engaging. It’s just ruined by all of the over the top violence, typical fanservice, language, and any other factors that you can think of. There’s essentially no fanservice here so we can at least rule that out…but not the other two. The language is certainly around since it’s a go to for the average horror writer.

As for the violence part….oh yeah. It’s definitely there! The version that I saw was pretty good with cutting most of it out, but based on where the screen ends, you can definitely see why it would be so intense. The mower scene was probably the grittiest, but most of the big ends try to give it some competition. Even kids are not safe from guns, which is another line that the average film won’t cross. That wasn’t to be here, even if the kids were being real awful about the whole thing. Talk about asking to get shot, those kids were trying to put the people inside of the cabin in danger just so they could get some food/water. It’s the end of the world….they should have realized the danger.

All right guys, I think it’s time to mention what the cause of all this is. It’s actually obvious right from the start since this film lacks subtlety anyway. So…it is….the….plants. See, the plants are tired of the humans messing around with the planet so they are going to emit some poisons all around the world that switch our preservation switches so that we have an instinct to die instead of to live. In theory, that’s actually possible for some kind of bio weapon in the future, but for the planets….hehehehehehehe. But this is a film so I suppose that we’ll cut it some slack in that department. Still, how can you fight plants? The easy answer is that you really can’t. Even if we could somehow destroy all of them, we would be left with no air to breathe since you learn about the whole carbon dioxide equation back in 1st grade.

It’s game over for the humans, but it still makes for an interesting tale. Also, perhaps the writer knew that the audience would figure out the main villain right away so he throws a ton of red herrings. We have a mysterious plot where the bees flew away. None of the other animals are effected…only the bees. Next, the heroes head into a house that is deserted and filled with fake things. Sort of like the prop you would see in a nuclear testing site. Maybe the government really is involved! There’s also an odd lady who barely appears to be human and she makes no sense. What is she? These things are all just here to mess with you and it’s best to just tune them out all together.

The main way to save yourself is to make sure that you don’t travel in groups. If there are too many humans in one place, then the flowers activate their toxins. There’s not much of a rhyme or reason to the attacks since they’re incredibly sporadic, but it’s nice to know that they care. The plants shall protect the planet…..in theory.

There’s not much of a soundtrack, but it actually does get very ominous at some points. It reminds me of a documentary that I saw about Monsanto a while back. The directors know that you’ll realize something is up if they don’t distract you so they throw in the music to stop you in your tracks. It’s rather ingenious and at least the themes give it an edge over the average horror film.

As for the characters, most of them aren’t very likable, but we have some decent ones. The main guy actually isn’t bad. He seems like a pretty likable professor and he’s certainly interested in the work that he is doing. He takes the situation in stride for the most part and he’s pretty forgiving of the main heroine. She…was not quite as good. She’s very quiet and sullen the whole time and we know that she is having some kind of argument with the main lead, but the film never really goes into that so it’s hard to pick one side over the other. Meanwhile, the main character’s friend is a math whiz who makes all of the wrong choices. His wife went all the way over to NJ to buy a backpack after the attacks had already started. Not a good move and the friend naturally went to help, but he didn’t last long. The daughter stayed with the main heroes and she wasn’t the best either, but she’s here to show us that we wouldn’t last 5 minutes in an apocalyptic future. That’s nice for the film….but I still like to think that in times of trouble we will all become Eren Jaegers and simply adapt, crack, adapt, crack, and keep going through the cycle until our minds really do burst.

One of the supporting characters loves hot dogs and it’s nice to know that he’s ready for the adventure, but he has no point in this film so you can certainly just forget about him and it won’t really affect the film. That’s about it as far as the big characters go. I liked the Cop and the main character. Beyond that….the rest of the cast could not rise above mediocrity. It’s a shame, but it’s just how it goes. Even the train drivers weren’t great as they decided to be randomly vague the whole time instead of just letting everyone know that they were toast. Staying in the train may have actually been a wise decision…so we can’t have any of that!

We can’t forget that the film has a twist ending. You’ll see it coming from a mile away, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s pretty intense. All horror films need twists, I’m almost convinced of this fact at this point. If the film’s going to get a low score anyway, might as well end it in a way that will have people talking about the title for a long time right? It’s a sound strategy and I was glad that the guy on TV now has a solid case. People wouldn’t believe him unless more attacks occurred right? Time for this guy to put them in their place. (His smug attitude quickly made him the best character in the film although the guy he was debating would probably rank in 2nd)

Overall, by all accounts, the Happening could have been a decent film. It’s interesting, has a good plot, and the lead is actually likable. The main problem is that it decides to be edgy for the lolz. According to the super reputable site known as Wikipedia, it was even advertised for being the writer’s first R film. You can see why they threw in so many intense death scenes and sprinkled in the language for good measure. This film could easily have been PG 13 and you could have even made it PG without taking away any critical scenes. It just goes to show that some writers can handle the pressures of making a good horror film while others cannot. Instead of checking this title out, I recommend watching The Avengers (2012) to see a survival film where humanity must unite to fight off the big aliens! That’s a film with a good script and some nice writing techniques.

Overall 3/10

Spawn Review

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It’s time for a triple horror review on the blog. Not in one post of course, but I’ll be posting them consecutively as I get to work on the film backlog. The third film review isn’t technically horror, but it’s a tragedy, which shares many of the same qualities as a horror. Why not right? All right, back to Spawn! This is one of those films that had an incredible premise, an awesome poster, and yet you knew that it wouldn’t be a very good film. Probably not even a good one. Well, your fears were well founded as this title shows why it will always be known as one of the weaker superhero films.

Al worked as a hit man of sorts for a shady company. He took out threats to the country in secrecy. One day he finally realized just how much collateral damage he was dealing to the outside world during this chaos and decided to fight back. He told his boss that he would quit so the boss had his replacement shoot him with more holes than a chunk of Swiss Cheese. The joke was on the boss though as Al was sent back to Earth from Hell so that he could lead the demon’s army against Earth. No worries though, the demons will allow Al to get his vengeance first!

It’s hard to know where to start first for a film like this one so let’s just look at things from the demon’s point of view first. After all, his plan doesn’t make a great deal of sense. For starters, why did Al have to lose his memory of the deal that he made in Hell when he went back to Earth? If not for the clown, AKA, The Violator, he would not have known to lead the armies anyway. Al was incredibly mixed up for a great chunk of the film and it felt like the villains almost didn’t care. That was rather sloppy and if Al has retained his memories from the start, he may have stayed on the path of darkness. Their loss I suppose.

One of the big weaknesses of this film is the..crude humor! Trust me, that’s the last thing that you want to see in a super hero film that’s supposed to be really dark and gritty. A little crude humor doesn’t tend to phase me, but it was extremely over the top and very cringe worthy. The scene where the clown bites into a certain slice of pizza is really what did it for me and you really will feel like losing your lunch. If the film was trying to be original, it may have succeeded, but certainly not in a good way.

The clown is also an example of another poor character. All of his scenes are pretty bad and some of his lines are pretty terrible. His threats to Al may be pretty personal, but it just makes him a rather despicable villain, not a likable one. You will certainly be pulling for Spawn to take him down already. The Clown also isn’t an incredibly impressive fighter, it’s just that Spawn isn’t very strong here. He definitely has a lot of work to do if he wishes to master his abilities. I could have definitely preferred another sidekick to help Spawn instead of this guy.

Okay, let’s back up a bit and look at some of the film’s pros. Spawn is a pretty likable character. It’s good that he wanted to get out of the shady business and he ultimately decides to act in the name of justice over being an emissary from Hell. Given his circumstances, it certainly shows a lot of willpower. In the hands of a better writer, he could have been a great protagonist. As it stands, he was simply a good one. He did make all of the right choices after all. Spawn can be rather slow on the uptake and it takes him a very long time to even think of using some of his abilities, but he would likely have been much more powerful in the sequel. A shame that we’ll never get one for this film…..or not.

Another big positive is the soundtrack. It’s easily one of the greatest comic book soundtracks of all time. I definitely prefer the instrumental themes though since that’s where all of the real action is at. The rock/metal themes really get your heart pumping and you’ll be ready to see what kind of action scenes they throw at you. I haven’t heard a film with fight themes like this since Mortal Kombat and Man of Steel! (Man of Steel had one good battle theme anyway!)

I can’t really complain about the fights either. They holds up pretty well. Spawn’s fight with the Violator will remind you of Spidey’s recent clash against the Lizard in TASM while Spawn’s epic fight against the master demon is something that is very original. Most of the fight is in CGI, which actually works quite well since it looks like a video game. I was loving every second of that fight and Spawn definitely got some good durability feats as he was constantly slammed to the ground and kept on getting back up. He also used his spikes to impale dozens of villains at once, which is something that he’ll get better at as the years go forward. Even Spawn’s quick spar against his replacement is pretty intense. The fight reminded me of Resident Evil…only less graphically intense, which was neat. Spawn definitely knew what it was doing in the action category.

All righty, back to the negatives. So far, this probably sounds like a 5-6 right? Well, we’re bumping it down 2-3 spots from that so we need to figure out why. Wait for it….waiiiiit for it….Animal Violence. Talk about adding insult to injury right? A dog gets punches by the big villain and we see him limping in his next appearance. That’s simply inexcusable and you’ll want to exit the room right after this happens. It really had no place in the film and I don’t see why they would add this. It made things more personal of course, but how much more personal does this have to get before Spawn unlocks his true powers?

Beyond that, the film is pretty tame violence wise compared to what you may expect. Granted, they may have edited out some of the violence on TV, but usually the language is what gets hit the hardest. So, I didn’t find the violence to be that bad. There isn’t really any romance although one of the plots also seems a little crazy. So, Al’s wife moves on to his best friend after he vanished. Really? Sure, he may have been dead, but that’s an incredibly low blow and especially after she said that she would be with him forever. It’s why you’ve always got to be careful before you fall into the romance trap. I’m still glad that it didn’t get more screen time since that could have been dicey.

Another reason why this film simply wasn’t that good is some scenes can drag a bit. The main example of this is when Spawn first returns to the world. He can’t talk so we just see him crawling and walking around as he has no clue what he should do. It’s pretty painful to watch the scenes as the Clown gets to mess with him for a while. I want to see Spawn verbally debating the pros and cons of fighting with a neat cloak, not getting thrown into an alley to get some more sleep!

I think we’ve mostly established why this is a film of missed opportunities. One more thing that needs to be mentioned is the ally who lends his strength to Spawn. This guy pops up out of nowhere and he has some connection to Hell or Heaven. It’s all very vague and he silently threatens to kill Spawn at one point before just joining him into the fray. He looks decent when it comes down to a fight, but he’s also pretty old so he can’t last very long in the heat of battle. He got his moments I suppose, but he really needed some actual character. One minute he’s basically telling Spawn to let his revenge go and then encouraging him to tackle the human villain in the next scene.

Overall, Spawn is a dicey experience. Some scenes can certainly be funny and it actually does work as more of a comedy than a horror. That being said, it goes too far in too many different ways to really be a good film. The animal violence, crude humor, and unnecessary scenes/lines keep it from being the kind of film that you will want to rewatch. The costumes and effects are way ahead of its time, but a film can’t get a good score on good looks. If it could, then I’d expect TASM2 (Electro vs Spidey) to have better scores than most other films. The video game is probably much better than the film, but I can’t really vouch for that. Either way, this is a film that you will want to skip and you’ll be better off watching the first Ghost Rider. It really outranks this title in just about every way.

Overall 3/10

Larry Appleton vs Galactus

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Larry Appleton returns, but he won’t fare much better this time as he goes up against one of Marvel’s tougher fighters. Galactus has defeated many opponents in his day and a good amount of them were stronger than Larry. Larry doesn’t have any energy blast reflectors so one good blast from Galactus should be enough to end things once and for all. I guess that means it is game over for him. Galactus wins.

Larry Appleton vs Bass

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Larry Appleton makes his debut onto the blog, but it is safe to say that he is doomed here. He’s just a guy and Bass is the King of the blog. Larry has no super powers so it’s hard to see how he can defeat a being who can destroy planets with a single blow. You simply can’t counter such amazing abilities and that’s why Bass’ road to stardom continues on. Bass wins.

Natsume (Gakuen Alice) vs Axel

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Both of these fighters have fire abilities at their disposal, but Axel has much more combat experience than Natsume. He can throw his disk type of weapon, which helps his long range game while also being adept at close quarters combat. Natsume’s fire mastery isn’t fully ready for combat just yet and he will have some trouble against this fire opponent. Once his abilities have been upgraded a little, this should be more of an even fight. Axel wins.

Natsu vs Kirito

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As awesome as Kirito is, it’s hard to picture him winning this fight. While Kirito’s speed is incredible in SAO, it likely wouldn’t last long against the higher tiered fighters of Fairy Tail. Their abilities are definitely worthy of the Shonen rank and Natsu could easily speedblitz Kirito all day without a whole lot of effort. His fire abilities would also outrank Kirito’s sword skills. Kirito’s ability to fly does level the playing field to an extent, but Natsu’s got the physical edge. Natsu wins.

Rosalina vs Howard Aguello

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Howard is good at running away, but that won’t help him against a foe as fearsome as Rosalina. Rosalina is a high above being who bows to no being and has earned her spot on top. Howard suffers defeat once more, but the important thing is that he keeps on fighting. Maybe he shall claim victory one day..maybe. Rosalina wins.