Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Anastasia Review

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Anastasia is a good example of a film that starts really slow but is ultimately able to recover and get its momentum up by the end to the point where you would definitely consider it to be a good title. It makes for a satisfying watch and is a good drama film. The writing is what really puts the title in the green since a film like this is dependent on good writing.

The movie starts with some exposition about how the royal family was murdered. There were no survivors but then a rumor started that the princess Anastasia actually survived. It has been several years since then so most don’t believe it. Well one day a lady by the name of Anna casually lets someone know that she is Anastasia. A man by the name of Bounine picks up on this and quickly brings her into the fold. He has been tasked with finding Anastasia and if he doesn’t produce her soon then he will definitely be in trouble. So while this Anna appears to be quite troubled and potentially insane, Bounine is willing to risk it all. Surely he has the skills needed to trick the royal family even if she is not the genuine article.

Part of the mystery in the film is deciding if Anna actually is the princess or if she really is just faking it the whole time. Additionally she is unsure herself due to having some memory issues. As the film goes on I would say she definitely is Anastasia but ultimately it will be up to you to see if that’s the case. It shouldn’t really impact what you think about the film though as either way it doesn’t really impact the journey. Whether she is the real deal or not they will still have to convince the royal family of this either way. If Anastasia is brought back in as the princess then she will be exceedingly rich and that may end up spilling over to Bounine and his allies.

The reason I say the beginning is rather slow is that I was not really all that engaged with the story as Bounine explained this to Anna. He’s a fun character and has a way with words but it still felt like a sequence that was very dragged out so the film didn’t really pick up until they make it to the first event to see how well the reception can go. At that point it is definitely full speed ahead as we get a lot of fun dynamics.

You also can appreciate how some of the members are not so easily convinced. It has been several years since the apparent death and the whole memory loss angle would appear to be very convenient. Anna only seems to know things that are public knowledge which is not very convincing when trying to convince people that you were never dead. Some buy into it right away but most do not.

The standout character here is Anastasia’s mother. Naturally she is the toughest one to convince as she has seen many fakes time and time again. I like how fierce she is in the dialogue and isn’t afraid to really take shots at the other characters. She speaks her mind with no exceptions. She has a very good character arc and always appears to be one step ahead of the others. It’s also quite telling that she is the only person Bounine doesn’t talk back to or adopt an attitude with.

As for Bounine he also gets a lot of character development throughout the film. At first it seems like he just wants the money and to dodge a possible execution/being arrested for wasting funds. Instead we see that this is more a matter of pride by the end. Bounine just likes to show off what a genius he is and the more captive an audience the better. It’s not even a terrible plan even if it does see a bit far fetched at face value. I’m not surprised that a lot of these relatives never paid much attention and so a lookalike could trick them. That said, he made a big mistake when trying to use romance as a weapon for Anastasia.

I would call this a romance film per say but the instant he tries to set her up with a prince you know exactly how this is going to play out. He starts to sulk and pout the whole time which feels really petty considering that it was all his plan. Bounine tries to pin the whole thing on Anna too which is definitely going overboard. He only has himself to blame for all of this. He plays hard to get when Anna talks to him and then gets upset when she goes to the other guys. I did like him as a character though. He’s a fun guy but I just didn’t care for that subplot with him him nearly as much during the final act. It was not his brightest moment.

As for Anna, she does a good job of trying to fulfill her role. I’m not a fan of the amnesia plot in general but Anna pulls through it well enough. So whether or not she’s a fake, you could say that she has her own character now which is important. Anna has most of the emotional moments in the film. She is definitely at her best when she is defying Bounine and generally making things very difficult for him. She plays the rebel quite well.

So with a solid pair of main characters that’s always a very good thing for the potential of the film. The side characters are reasonable as well. Bounine has two lackeys with him who are not nearly as intelligent but they have a lot of fun dialogue. As mentioned the film just has a good script in general which goes a long way to helping the cast out. The only character who is really just annoying the whole way through is the prince who likes Anna. He’s just written as too obviously antagonistic the whole time with how he gets every question wrong.

Like Anna will ask him “If I decide to decline my inheritance will you still love me?” and he just says “You definitely won’t decline” or “don’t talk crazy now” which are just awful answers. Both make him look incredibly unintelligent. Either he’s a villain who wants the money and should still tell her that he loves her and all that or he’s a hero who would say that willingly. Intentionally answering every answer in the worst possible way just didn’t seem very realistic.

The movie’s at its best with all of the mind games between the characters. I liked seeing Bounine try to get the edge in every conversation. The film has a very old way of getting the dialogue across and it works really well. Even when the characters are insulting each other it’s always done in a way that has some pretense of being polite dialogue. Except for Anastasia’s mother who is old enough not to care about such things.

Where the movie is at its weakest is with the drama and romance. The romance doesn’t really work for me, it’s all too fast. As for the drama, it can be a bit much like when Anastasia’s mother finally cries or Anna’s long speech about not trying to convince the mother anymore but seemingly still doing so anyway. A film like this wants to keep a quick pace and the crying scenes slow it down a bit. It’s nothing too serious but if you lessen the drama a bit then the film would have its ideal pacing.

Overall, Anastasia is a solid film. It may have a rocky start but just keep with it until Anna begins her performance as Anastasia and then it’s off to the races. The balance with the serious drama and comedic moments is on point. The movie ends rather quickly but in a really ideal way. I would have liked about 5 more seconds just to see the mother say that the play was over but since it was told to the viewers I suppose that counts. A film isn’t really complete until you have the ending at the ready and so that completes the picture. If you’re up for a solid drama film then this is a good one to check out.

Overall 7/10

Nightcrawler Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This film is a cautionary tale showing that if you give a shady person an inch they’ll take a mile. A channel producer decides to start skirting the rules and ultimately it doesn’t go over well. You definitely feel like things go very conveniently for the main character that’s for sure. The blackmail part gets annoying because you feel like Lou doesn’t really have nearly as much leverage as he claims but lets dive in here.

The movie starts with Lou sneaking into a warehouse to steal some wires. A security guard tries to stop him but forgets that if someone is trespassing then he’s probably dangerous. The realization hits the guard too late as he’s knocked out and Lou escapes. Still, Lou wants to do something more with his life than all of these little side jobs. One day he comes across an accident and sees “Nightcrawlers” filming the accident and selling it to the channels. He has finally found his calling, Lou wants to do that. Can he become the best accident film recorder there ever was?

Lou’s a very obsessive person and once he has his goal he just latches onto it. Lou always seems to be in the right place at the right time for a big scoop and that’s not luck but his own training. He learns the police codes and buys a portable scanner so he can listen in on their reports. Slowly but surely he grows into being one of the more reliable recorders around and then decides to swing his influence. He wants Nina, the current host of the evening news program and decides to blackmail her. If she doesn’t agree to be with him then he’ll sell the news somewhere else. Meanwhile his partner Rick has to decide if this job is really worth his life.

For me the Nina plot is definitely a miss because I don’t see how she was taken in so quickly. Lou claims that if he leaves then Nina will almost certainly be fired because her ratings are low. Nina shouldn’t have bit on the bait and just let him walked out. She has already been job hopping a lot so what’s one more time? Additionally, if she gives him the high ground now then there is no escaping after this part. By the end Nina seems to genuinely like him or at least the fact that he gives her good ratings which is all she cares about. I definitely found her to be a pretty bad character.

Then you have Lou who is quite deranged and basically one of the big villains here even though he is the main character. Keep in mind that the film opens with him assaulting an officer and he also threatens Rick with violence a few times. Lou is constantly threatening everyone and while he says that he has been practicing to live a more peaceful life, it’s clear that he could snap at any second. He even says that he just doesn’t like people by the end of the film which explains why he acts the way that he does.

It’s not that he’s fearless but Lou is very detached from everything which allows him to get up close with the recordings and to tamper with active crime scenes. You’re hoping that he’ll walk into the wrong crime scene at one point and that will ultimately be what puts him in a tough position. The guy certainly gets away with a whole lot. He talks a good game but that’s really all he’s got since most of the villains here do have guns.

Rick means well and he’s a nice guy but I do have to blame him for not leaving earlier. He knows exactly the kinds of things that Lou is doing by the mid point of the film. Early on you can excuse him because he doesn’t know much about Lou and he desperately needed a job. By the end of the film though? That excuse no longer applies, Rick just goes with it because the money is getting better and he’s lasted this long. Rick just stays in the game too long and when you work for a villain that’s always going to be a big risk.

Then you have the detective Frontieri. She doesn’t get a really big role or anything like that but does turn up near the end for a pair of confrontations with Lou. It’s a tough situation because it’s clear that she’s good at her job but it’s hard to find proof or clues when you’re up against someone as clever as Lou. He knows to hide his tracks rather well and you suspect Rick is here as a patsy if needed.

The film is engaging for a while as you see just how far Lou will go in order to get the scoop. The main issue here is as I mentioned before, it seems like he gets away with way too much because nobody wants to stand up to him. Both Nina and Rick could and should have handled things way differently. Lou would also not have been in a position to do nearly as well without them so suddenly you’re looking at a very different film. The accident to his rival also seemed to come out of nowhere. I thought Lou was going to sabotage him or something but in the end it seems like it really was all just coincidence. Lucky eh?

Since Lou is filming various crimes and such, we do see quite a lot of bloodied bodies and the like as the film goes on. It’s not super graphic like this was a horror film or anything but it is filmed like real events which can make this just as intense. I think the actual footage could have been left off screen or hidden a bit which would have been a good move from the film. I did like how it showed the newscasters just saying whatever the producer wanted them to say though. It shows how effectively they’re given a script and they seamlessly introduce that into their speech. That was probably even the most effective scene in the film because it was really handled well. You could totally picture this being the case in real news reports, particularly volatile ones.

Overall, Nightcrawler is an interesting film and it has the hard job of trying to use the main villain as the main character. It’s tough for that to work for an entire film, particularly if the villain has no sympathetic goal or rationale to at least make you understand why he’s doing this. Lou’s just crazy which doesn’t work so well for the lead. Additionally due to the very nature of the film, you do see some rather graphic crimes. The movie feels like a real newscast which is impressive but at the same time works to its own detriment as well. With more likable characters this film could have gone far but without anyone to really root for aside from the detective who appears once or twice, the film was ultimately doomed.

Overall 3/10

Alien vs Predator Review

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This is a movie I saw many years ago and I remember always being on team Aliens. I’ve always been partial to that group. Perhaps it’s because I’m more familiar with them, that they came first, or it’s just more fun to root for the monster. That hasn’t changed over the years either and after watching the movie I can really explain more why I prefer the aliens. See, while they are sentient, they are really just beasts at the core. They run on instinct and take everyone down. The Predators are actually an advanced alien race that really do whatever they please and tend to look rather corrupt. The whole film only exists because they like to hunt prey and use humans as sacrifices. Not exactly the group you would be rooting for.

Lets take a step back though. The movie starts with Charles locating a mysterious temple. It has details from various cultures and suggests that humanity actually united to create this a while back. He is older at this point and wants one last thing to be remembered by before he dies. So Charles assembles a group of the greatest scientific experts on the planet along with the ultimate guide in Alexa. She is skeptical at first but eventually decides to get on board. Little does this group realize that they won’t be the only sentient life in this area.

One thing that really separates this one from the average Alien and Predator titles is that the movie really leans into the cool sci-fi aesthetics. The scenes showing how the Predators are watching the temple, the alien ship, etc is all so much better than you would expect. This is a Sci-Fi film where you can see how advanced the technology is as opposed to us not seeing more of it. Usually it is fine to keep the Predators more secretive but in a vs film like this, I think this is the right approach.

So the visuals are unmatched and I thought the soundtrack was decent. I won’t say great since I don’t think you’ll even remember a bunch of the tunes by the end but they work well enough during the movie. The writing is good and the fights with the Aliens vs Predators will always raise your hype before they start just trying to get extra gritty.

Where the film falters is where most of these horror films falter. It tends to get excessively violent, particularly with the chest bursters that return from the Alien films. It seems like you can’t go through any alien film without having at least one of these scenes right? If you get rid of those entirely it would be a good move and just stick to the Xenmorphs. This is still a horror film at its core even with all of the in-fighting between groups but you don’t need the bursters for the scare scenes.

As the main character Alexa does well here. She points out that this is a very bad idea but ultimately ends up helping out because if she doesn’t then people will likely die. They may die anyway but at the very least if there weren’t any aliens she would have been able to keep everyone on the straight path. These guys also aren’t exactly the best at following orders so they need a tough commander.

I’m a bit iffy on her teaming up with the Predator so quickly after learning that they used humans as cattle but with the Aliens being mindless I suppose there wasn’t any chance of making peace with them either. Ultimately Alexa kept her wits about her and was fast to react. Alexa even manages to deal some real damage by the end so kudos there.

Charles is not nearly as likable. I get wanting to make a big discovery in the end but then once we find out that he’s sick, it’s a bit much. He’s putting everyone’s lives on the line just for the discovery? The guy’s rich, he could just wait until everyone has actually checked the rooms and made sure it’s safe before walking in. I’d say that would have been a whole lot better.

Maxwell’s his main right hand man and the guy can fight but I didn’t get why he was so antagonistic the whole time. It feels like that kind of comes out of nowhere and of course that never ends well for the humans in these things. It was good to have a gun at the ready though. We’ve got other characters here as well like the lady with a gun, the guy who just wants to go back home to his kids, etc. You’re mainly just wondering if any of these guys will survive aside from the main character or if it’s game over.

As for the battles, like I said I was rooting for the Aliens here. Effectively they are the underdogs as the Predators always plant them in positions where they should lose. When the Predators are on the losing side they just nuke the planet. Seems like they’re sore losers on that front eh? Fortunately for the Aliens they still have the advantage of berserker strength and their continued evolution. The Alien Queen looks really impressive in this movie to be sure.

Before the final battle we get a few skirmishes between the Aliens and Predators with each side taking some wins. Both sides also have a main fighter you could say. One alien in particular handles himself well as he gets up after being slashed and one of the predators takes a few of the aliens out as well. It helps build you up to the climax.

Then of course we do have a twist ending because those are absolutely necessary. Not just in horror but for any film, it’s just that horror tends to do them with the greatest effectiveness. Lets just say that it’s a really effective way to end the film as you understand the implications of this very well. Albeit it, you feel like it could potentially be a plot hole because the scanners should have sensed something. They would have to right? These scanners were shown to be extremely advanced throughout the movie and did notice an alien when it was inside of someone earlier. It should be the same concept but….maybe they got overconfident. I’ll chalk this up as a plot hole but a fairly small one at least.

Overall, Alien vs Predator definitely delivers on the kind of action that you would expect to see from two savage races fighting each other off. I’m also always a big fan of seeing crossovers come out. At the end of the day that makes for a lot of good fun when you get to the inevitable conclusion. It would be nice if it didn’t have to be so graphic though and of course the humans are stuck in the middle as well. If you can get past the violence then there’s definitely a solid film in here but it loses enough points where it ultimately isn’t able to sustain itself in the green. The best complement for the film though is that they really do nail the special effects. It’s the best that the franchise has ever looked.

Overall 3/10

12 Angry Men Review

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12 Angry Men is certainly a classic film. It’s one that just about everyone’s heard of and it’s very well known for its quality writing and interesting plot. It holds up very well on a rewatch and is just as engaging as it ever was. The movie manages to stay engaging even with the characters never leaving the main room for the majority of the film. This is definitely how you want to do a jury film and it’s hard to picture any film doing it better.

The case that the 12 Jurors have to rule on involves an alleged murder. Supposedly this kid on trial murdered his father before being captured by the police. The evidence is mainly based around testimony from a lady who saw the murder from a train, and an old man who stepped out of his apartment in time to see the kid run off. When the jurors go into the room to deliberate, 11 of them immediately believe the kid is guilty. They just don’t see how you can go against two direct witness testimonies like that but one juror is not convinced and still has some doubts. Can the 11 convince him to give out a verdict of guilty or can he get them over to his side?

After all, the only way you can rule guilty is if you believe that there is no room for doubt here and that this had to have been what happened. Also, a jury must be unanimous in its decision so if there is one person who disagrees then you have to keep debating until that is no longer the case. After a period of time if no agreement can be made then it is considered a hung jury and a new group will end up being selected.

The movie does a good job of still leaving the case up to your interpretation as the characters disclose their facts. It’s fair to say that one side will appear to be more likely than the other by the end or at least that there has been some established room for doubt. If you still believe that the accused is guilty then that’s fair as well, the film doesn’t really try to force you into saying that one side is flat out wrong or not.

If you’re voting for the side that says the accused is innocent, you do have a lot of things working in your favor. After the characters broke down the testimony from the old man who says he made it to the door in time, it does seem like it would have been difficult to make it to the front door in time. The timeline doesn’t add up without something being different as reported. Likewise the angle of the stab wound was different from how you would expect someone to use it and the train was moving very quickly.

On the side that says he’s guilty, you’ve got the fact that the knife was on the scene of the crime. It seems to be a rare knife although the main character was able to get one which puts that into question. You do have the direct alibi’s of the two witnesses and while the side that says he is innocent would say that they are lying, it’s just as possible that they aren’t and their time limits were off by a few seconds.

So whichever side you pick, there’s some good arguments to be made. The film isn’t really about seeing which side is right though so you won’t find that out by the end. It’s all left rather open which is also fair since in most cases as the jury you’ll never truly know if the person was guilty or not. You just make the ruling as best you can.

As mentioned, the writing is definitely great here. The time really passes by even though it’s 100% dialogue based. The characters may not have names but they all have core personalities. One of the best members was likely the chairman who did his best to make sure that everyone was taking this seriously and working in an orderly fashion. It’s not easy trying to take charge but someone had to do it.

You had the advertiser who was having a good time. He got distracted very easily compared to the others but he didn’t seem malicious or anything. The guy just seemed to always think of new ideas. There’s the main character who really wanted to give the case the importance it deserved. When the others were ready to leave in 5 minutes he held firm. You have to give him a lot of credit for sticking his ground even when he was outnumbered 11 to 1. It’s not an easy thing to have to face the crowd like that, especially with some of them being really tough about the whole thing.

One of them just wanted to go and see his Baseball game after all so he wanted a quick guilty verdict so he could leave. Then you have the one who is really against kids due to some personal issues. These two make this an even tougher situation since they are hardly going to be listening to reason. The film was smart not to make them the only ones on the guilty side though or you’d run the risk of making one side so antagonistic that it doesn’t appear to be a fair fight.

The main reasonable member in that camp was the guy with glasses who likes to look at everything logically. He feels it’s less of an assumption to take the testimonies and evidence at face value as opposed to believing they were all lying and/or incorrect. The best back and forth exchanges are often the debates with him as each side has to carefully take in each item and discuss it thoroughly. That’s exactly how these kind of discussions should go down.

Overall, 12 Angry Men really ends up keeping your attention at all times. It’s really a simple plot when you think about it and this underscores that any plot can make for a great movie if the execution is done well enough. The crew in charge of the movie held nothing back and so this ended up being quite the hit. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to check out a good movie. No matter what genre you may like, this one is just good cinema and can appeal to anyone. I’d be up for more jury based films. It may be tough to beat this one but an attempt should at least be made as there is a lot you can do with this concept.

Overall 8/10

Single White Female Review

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The poster for this film is certainly ominous. Now, I’ve never been someone who was a big fan of the whole roommate concept. Sometimes you gotta do it because financially there’s no other option or you’re in a school where that’s the system. Okay fair enough. Deciding you want a stranger as a roommate for kicks/companionship? Well…that doesn’t seem like it’ll be a recipe for success and in a horror film like this one you can imagine that this is the case. (The music treats it like a horror at least)

The movie starts with Allie finding out that her boyfriend Sam is cheating on her. She kicks him out but later on he admits that it was just a mistake of passion and she ought to forgive him because he’s a nice guy. Allie refuses and says that she never will. That should be the end of the movie right then and there. Full stop, credits roll and we have a pretty bad movie but a short one. Instead, Allie decides that the place is too lonely by herself and so she advertises for a roommate. The insane Hedra shows up and Allie thinks this is a good setup. Hedra seems okay at first but she quickly begins to take control of the place, yelling at Allie and lying a whole lot. Can Allie stay safe while also entertaining the idea of getting back together with Sam?

First off, I definitely have a big problem with the whole getting back with Sam thing. Look, you can forgive him and give the guy a second chance at being a good human being. That’s fine and going further, that’s a good thing. Allowing him to become your boyfriend again is a whole other can of apples. A relationship is purely based on trust and so the instant it is broken like that, there is really no going back. Allie even mentions that she would never have known if not for the ex-wife calling and Sam basically confirms this as he admits that he wouldn’t have told her. So….what’s to stop him from having a moment of weakness again? I just don’t see how this could work.

Allie is clearly devastated by this betrayal to the point where she can’t really function without him for a bit. That’s concerning for a lot of reasons but going back to him isn’t the answer. So any scene that guy was in would definitely make me cringe. There’s really no good reason for cheating and any attempt to justify it just makes the whole thing worse and Sam tries to justify it with a straight face. Sure, I do believe him when he says he thought it was Allie at the end of the film and not the doppelganger, but it doesn’t really change anything for me. That guy was just bad.

I don’t like Allie much either for similar reasons. Aside from the whole rebounding thing, I also felt like she just let Hedra get away with too much. Allie had said no pets but quickly cracked anyway after Hedra brought a dog in. Later on Hedra insults Allie, yells, and acts like she owns the place. That’s when Allie should have kicked her out. The open flirting with Allie’s boyfriend was another red flag as well as the dog flying out the window. The instant the dog appeared I knew the film was going to take another turn for the worse as well. A dog’s mere existence in a horror film is usually the biggest death flag in all of cinema. It’s one of the aspects that will always end up holding horror films back from reaching their full potential.

Hedra? Well, she’s your average psychotic murderer. She has a hidden past that involves potentially drowning another kid although you learn the full truth behind that near the end or at least a good chunk of it. It’s reasonable to say based on how this is described that Hedra didn’t actually go that far. I was surprised at that myself but she still racks up a small body count by the end which was nearly bigger but she didn’t quite finish the job on one of them. There isn’t much to Hedra beyond that and nothing that really made her an interesting villain.

Then we have Allie’s next door neighbor Graham. He’s good, he always gives Allie some sound advice and helped as much as he could. It’s a little hard to buy how he lost to her in a fight though. Sam’s was also a little sketchy but you can pass that off as bad luck I suppose. Graham should have done better though as the whole situation was super sketchy and he was forewarned about her. That should have definitely been enough to stop her.

The climax is incredibly sloppy though. Now it’s not uncommon in horror films for the main hero/heroine to knock the villain down and instead of grabbing the gun just make a break for it but this movie does it around 4-5 times in a row which is absolutely crazy. I mean, if you have the villain on the ground then you absolutely have to grab the gun. Even if you don’t know how to fire it or something then you can toss it out the window or use it as a sledge hammer. At the absolute worst, just open the handle so all the bullets fall out. Otherwise you’re just letting the villain grab it again.

Allie could have played the whole thing way better than she did. Also, while she gets tied up off screen, presumably Allie let herself be tied up because Hedra had the gun. This is something you must never do. Okay, when the villain has a gun, the leverage is that they will shoot you if you don’t comply. If you’re in a hold up you freeze and do what they say because you’re giving them things with the expectation that you will walk out of there alive. This situation is massively different. Once you tie yourself up then the only real outcome here is that you’re going to die. You’ve just given the villain all the leverage with 0 upside to yourself. It’s better to make a break for the door and get shot in the back or (the better option) try to grab the gun and tackle the person. Sure, your odds are pretty high at dying but if you tie yourself your odds are at 100% without some plot armor to help you out.

So what I’m saying here is that you should never tie yourself up when held at gunpoint. Unless there are other hostages or something then this is just not worth it. More points away from Allie. Finally the only other character in the film is this random looney who desperately wants to force himself on Allie and there’s no reason for his inclusion except to try and give Hedra some points where she can say that Allie is too nice. I don’t think this is a case of Allie being too nice but just being way too oblivious. The guy was acting shady from the start and every line involved him flirting with her. So…staying back late at night to teach him something 1 on 1 sounds like a horrible idea from the start. This is definitely one guy where you don’t mind when Hedra confronts him because at least she’s not murdering some innocent person for once.

Overall, Single White Female is a film that is pretty unbelievable at almost every point in the story. You’re always going to be shaking your head at what is going on because it just doesn’t work. The characters range from bad to awful in most cases. The movie squeezes in animal violence for no reason and I wouldn’t exactly call the writing good. So it fails in almost every area which makes this a film you will want to skip. It’s just not worth checking out and the main message here is that Allie probably should have gone with one of the other roommates even if they seemed eccentric.

Overall 2/10

The Alphabet Murders Review

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Time for a very different kind of Poirot film. Throw away everything you knew about the character beforehand as this one goes as far as to act like a parody the whole time. The movie even starts off with the lead breaking the third wall which is certainly something else. While I do like the film and will go into it in a second, I will say that the breaking the third wall gag felt flat as it often does. In very rare circumstances will I say that such a scene is good. It really just serves to take you out of the story in the same way as seeing the main character in the present talking about how he barely survived the events that we’re about to see. Fortunately the film didn’t go that far here.

So the movie starts with a poor clown getting murdered. He seemed to be shot by a mysterious woman. Then another victim takes their final dive and so Poirot will have to be the man to put a stop to this. Surely the world’s greatest detective can stop this criminal right? The only clue that the heroes have is that this villainous seems to be murdering people according to the alphabet. The first victim’s first and last names began with A, the second B, etc. Well, Poirot won’t have to search as hard as all that since the villainess confronts him straight up. She talks about how she doesn’t want to murder but that she must and other vague things as she beats the stuffing out of him and runs off

Prepare to see Poirot get beaten quite a bit in this film. He’s really not prepared for the kind of opponents that he is dealing with as this version is fairly weak and also not very intelligent. He has to rely on luck and physical ability in order to complete this case and I wouldn’t say that he is the toughest guy on the block either. Mix all of these things together and it doesn’t bode very well for him. The opening scene where he is getting choked by Amanda is also pretty odd. Perhaps intentionally and perhaps not but for me it didn’t even seem like she was seriously trying to murder him.

Or at least it was very half hearted with how they were tussling around. Poirot was calling for help the whole time but everyone would either misunderstand him or promptly get knocked out. It was crazy but I would say this was the best scene in the film partially because of how insane it all was. It can also be spooky, imagine calling out for help the whole time but nobody steps in because they think you’re all right? Now that will keep you up at night if you almost got choked to death. Poirot believes it was the lady’s way of asking for his help after it’s all over.

While Poirot is beaten and outsmarted throughout the film, he is a fun character. He does have some decent plans like pretending to choke himself to get Hastings to lower his guard. Poirot spends half the film trying to defeat the other good guys as opposed to going after the villains which is also meta in a sense. Fortunately for the heroes the villains don’t go around murdering too many people because they would have been in no position to stop these guys.

The hero is arrested and captured more than once. He’s not very good at being self aware like when he was chasing the girl. You’re actually rooting for the civilians to stop him since without context the whole thing that appear to be really crazy. It shows that these people aren’t just going to stand for this. The other main hero in the film is Hastings and he’s basically this film’s version of Watson. Hastings isn’t very smart and often gets outsmarted by Poirot but he means well.

What the man lacks in skill and bravery he makes up for in loyalty. You can always count on him to have your back and that’s a powerful thing. He even attempts to provide assistance during some of the more dangerous moments even if it doesn’t end up working out most of the time. I gained some respect for him when Poirot wasn’t able to outsmart him for once near the end of the film. It was almost like character development of sorts.

As for Amanda, well she’s a decent villain I guess. I think the whole plan was way more convoluted than it needs to be but granted, that could be due to the adaption. After all, in most cases it would be tough to murder Poirot or outsmart him so you can see villains coming up with all kinds of crazy plans to throw him off the scent. In this one though, well it would be extremely easy to bump him off. Poirot was being overpowered in the steam room after all and he was also chasing Amanda in the darkness with ease. Just set a trap for him at any time and I’m sure he would fall right into it. That’s absolutely the game plan the villains should have had without having to go with this whole ABC angle.

Amanda did a good job of completely tricking Poirot though so I have to give her some props there. All in all, the writing is good. It’s definitely not meant to be taken seriously in the slightest but you’ll get a good amount of witty dialogue. Some of the visual humor is nice too like when each character is snapping their finger at the other to grab a hat and other things. They had good coordination there and it made for a peaceful scene.

Ms. Marple also gets a little cameo here which was neat. It’s always good to establish a crossover continuity here and it also is a good way to show where Poirot ranks in comparison with Marple. In her one scene she was able to easily crack the case but presumably the cops didn’t believe her. Meanwhile Poirot “solves” the case by the very end and it took everything he had.

Overall, The Alphabet Murders is pretty good. It’s a shame that we didn’t get some kind of sequel. Who knows, maybe it’s better as a one off, but there’s a whole lot you can do with this concept. The bumbling detective and his witless sidekick is not something that’s done very often at all. I’d also have liked a full crossover with Ms. Marple. From what we saw of her, she would likely have the advantage in a fight but with both characters having such a strong ego, I’m sure this would be a lot of fun. This film goes by pretty fast and ultimately how much you enjoy it will be directly related to how funny you find the characters to be. Does the dialogue feel naturally comedic or does it all feel forced? This is the question that will determine it all.

Overall 7/10

Fun with Dick and Jane Review

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All right, who here remembers the classic books? It’s nice that the film effectively pays homage to them while telling a new story. This is a fun film that balances the criminal life while also showing us just how Dick and Jane got to such a state where they would become true robbers. The comedy is on point and the film really breezes by.

The movie starts with Dick & Jane enjoying their normal life. They have a great house, nice kids, nice neighbors, etc. Everything is going super well, but then that all changes when Dick’s fired from his job. Not because he was doing a bad job or anything but just because it was downsizing time and it went by seniority instead of by quality. The main characters have a very expensive lifestyle which eats through their funds quick and neither one is able to hold a job. Perhaps…it’s time for a life of crime?

Naturally with a plot like this it can go in a few different ways. If it was played seriously then naturally you’re rooting for the main characters to fail at every turn as you hope the cops catch them. In this case it’s a much more light hearted adventure. I noticed that the film made sure they failed every time they tried to take on a ma and pa shop or rob an old man and only let them rob from corporations, hotels, and professional places that have insurance.

I suspect this is a subtle way to allow you to have fun watching the characters without actively rooting against them. Now, naturally I was rooting for them to be stopped aside from the last case even with this. After all, they may have rough circumstances but who doesn’t right? There’s always another way outside of crime and when you see that the main characters still have a full time maid, a babysitter, a huge house, etc….well you get the picture.

The humor is effective as we see them slowly start to get used to the life of crime though. Dick in particular has a rough time of it. That first robbery attempt will likely haunt him for the rest of his life. It’s definitely a moment where you were rooting for the old man though so that worked out really nicely. Dick’s adventures around the unemployment line were also cool as well.

The agency really doesn’t play around in this instance and it was impressive that they could recognize him even in disguise. Dick was not about to pull a fast one on these guys, that’s for sure. The script is good and the same goes for the writing so it is able to pull this adventure off rather easily. The character roster is also solid here.

Dick makes for a solid main character. He may be on the wrong path despite the good intentions but he has a lot of fun moments. He is doing his best to make sure that the family has enough resources and didn’t enter the life of crime lightly. Additionally his plan at the end with Jane works rather well in the climax. It was well thought out and even the villain had to respect it.

Meanwhile Jane did well on her side too. She was the first one to start budgeting since it was clear that they couldn’t live quite as lavishly as they did before. Additionally she was quick to get the hang of being a crook to the point where you could definitely say that she was better at it than Dick. She was more compassionate though so they each had different weak points in that arena.

One of the best parts of the film has to be the montage where they’re robbing everyone. Robbing the phone company for example was a great scene as everyone even cheered them on and opened the door for their escape. That’s quite a lot of team unity against the company. We don’t see them for long but from the brief dialogue we did get, it seems like the company was corrupt.

Likewise the main characters stopped a corrupt evangelist which was a good move on their part. Finally you have the main villain Charlie. Well, the film doesn’t hold back here. He’s got every trait you would expect in a corrupt CEO. He loves getting drunk, wastefully manages the company, accepts and gives out brides, flirts with married women, etc. So when the heroes decide to rob him you have to raise an eyebrow because this guy certainly isn’t doing a good job with his funds at the moment.

Hmmm, it makes you think. So that’s a good climax and we even get a brief confrontation with Dick & Jane vs Charlie. Yeah this film had a lot going for it, that’s for sure. There are also some fun supporting characters like the insurance agent who came over to inspect the place. The kids are mostly off screen which is good. They’re not bad and don’t have enough screen time to affect anything. It was a good decision because I think they would have ended up taking away from the general dynamic.

I’d also say that most of it seems pretty realistic. I imagine it was really hard to stop shoplifters back in the day because there weren’t a lot of security cameras or anything like that. Especially with how the main characters would rob a place and then dash out. No chance to grab their license plates or anything like that. The only one that may be tough to buy is their breaking into the safe. I understand they got better as they did more and more jobs but could they get so sophisticated as to break into a safe in one of the richest buildings in the city? It has to be a top line safe so it shouldn’t be very easy to pick. Still, there are ways to explain it and I can live with them.

Overall, This was a pretty good film. The writers did well in managing to balance the main characters being criminals with not doing anything malicious enough where you’d be turned off at their being the leads. There’s a lot of good banter here and it just makes for a fun film that really ends as soon as it begins. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants to watch a nice lighthearted film.

Overall 7/10

The Terminal Man Review

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This one’s definitely more of a mean spirited film. You’ve got someone who’s sick and is trying to use some experimental technology and there doesn’t appear to be much in the way of gratitude. Nobody seems good at their jobs and even the lead doesn’t make sure to stay in the right areas to at least try more treatments. It ends up being a whole combination of errors where everyone is left in the wrong spot.

The movie starts with Harry being admitted into the hospital. He suffers from blackouts in a Jekyl & Hyde kind of condition. Before going under he will start to smell something metallic and then that awakens his violent form. In this mode he tries to destroy everyone and every thing in his way. Eventually the blackout will stop and he goes back to his normal mode but not before a whole lot of damage has been done. Right now that’s the burden that he has to endure.

Well, the hospital (I’m calling it a hospital but it might be more accurate to call it a private institution) has a solution. They will implant a chip (uh oh) into Harry which they claim should prevent the blackouts from occurring. It’ll do this by sending signals to his brain that forcibly stop this from occurring. Well, we’ll see if it works. If it doesn’t, then the world may have to prepare to try and stop Harry on his mad quest for vengeance.

Right off the bat you can see how things are not going to go very well for Harry. The scientists while not looney, just seem more interested in their computer chip than for the actual person. Harry’s effectively an experiment for them and they enjoy messing with his head by making him feel all kinds of emotions the whole time. It’s certainly not how you would want the experiment to go on and it just sets the tone from there on out. You have the guys gossiping in the background, the scientists laughing, etc.

Also, as a side note I do think it’s probably never worth putting a chip in your head. This is a rather extreme situation though so at least I can see why he did it. It seems like other treatments had been tried in the past and none of them worked so this was sort of a last ditch effort. It should always be a last ditch tactic so that part seems correct. Of course, the chip doesn’t work very well as you can probably guess.

The main mistake Harry makes is in leaving the facility. If he had stayed there then perhaps they could have found some way to treat him. I can’t 100% blame him for leaving though since as I described this was not exactly the best place to be treated in. So I totally get his wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. The main problem is that he is aware of his blackouts even though he doesn’t remember them. So going to hang out with friends or going to public places seems like it’s the wrong course of action.

Those are absolutely the last things that he should be doing here. The film also makes Harry appear to be a very intimidating guy even before the attacks. He doesn’t seem very stable. This is likely a byproduct of the various attacks but at the same time it also means that you’d expect security to be watching him a little more closely. It’s hard to see how he just escaped the facility in an instant like this.

I’d also have to blame Harry for going to Janet’s place when he knows that the attack could come at any second. It almost seems like he went there with the express purpose of threatening her in which case he was becoming more of a villain by the moment. Either way I didn’t care for him as the lead very much. He’s definitely going through an extremely rough condition so you feel bad for him but some of his decisions were pretty bad. If he at least stayed in the facility then perhaps some alterations could have been made to the chip to help him out. Or at the very least maybe they could have removed it if it was busted.

Janet is the main scientist who gets a role and she was not thrilled with this idea from the start. Unfortunately she was heavily outvoted so it didn’t matter. She does her best to help Harry and even by the end she is trying hard but there’s just not a whole lot she could realistically do at this point. She is a single employee in the facility and while her rank appears to be pretty high, she is still bound by the rules. Additionally, if the chip doesn’t work then it doesn’t work, at that point it’s really just a matter of deciding what to do next.

The film also has a very long surgery scene which could have absolutely been trimmed down. I wonder if it was just that long to show how the surgeon was very relaxed about the whole thing. He was busy taking shots at psychiatry and making jokes even though this is a super serious surgery. You’d think that he would have been more somber and regal about the whole thing instead of the way that he acted. Harry really couldn’t catch a break here.

So the film falters with the lead not being very likable and also with how mean all of the scientists appear to be. Or at least most of them. It can also be fairly violent with the background to the attacks as well as when he goes on the attack in the later part of the film. There aren’t quite as many victims as you may suspect but each one certainly goes down in a rather violent fashion. The only one who may have lived is the priest. It’s a little debatable due to how the scene is cut but I think if Harry had actually gotten him it would have been a bigger deal.

Overall, This is certainly not a feel good kind of film. It’s about Harry essentially hoping for a miracle to finally end his condition and it doesn’t work. From there the film just keeps up the more depressing tone until the end. There just wasn’t anything he could do and we saw Harry slowly lose his mind until it was just gone by the end. I’d certainly avoid this one if you’re trying to get someone interested in being a doctor. It won’t give off the right first impression. Ultimately there just isn’t anything to really get you invested in the film or to get you to have fun during it.

Overall 2/10

Judge Dredd Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Judge Dredd always had a pretty interesting setting. To an extent it’s sort of like what would happen if Gotham City didn’t have Batman and had to exist that way for another 50-100 years. By the time we did get a true crime fighter then the place would probably be too far gone to actually be saved. That’s the kind of environment the film takes place in and it actually works rather well. The film does a really good job on the effects.

The movie starts by showing us another gang war in the streets. Fergie got roped into this by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. So when Judge Dredd shows up and takes everyone down, Fergie is sent off to jail as well. See, there’s no court system or anything like that (Unless you are a Judge) so if you’re taken in by the law that’s game over. Gone are all of those legal establishments. In this distant future, the Judges serve as jury and executioner. What they say will go and so the world is perpetually unhappy and in a lot of inner wars.

To really illustrate the kind of place this is, the first scene has everyone using giant blasters. Given how unsurprised everyone is, you also see how this is a fairly regular occurrence. You’re either able to try and stay out of the spotlight or you better have good gun skills because it’s game over otherwise. There’s an opening message at the beginning of the film that explains the lore a bit as well.

Then you have the city backdrop which is really nice. Mix that in with the cool sci-fi guns that are coded to your DNA and the effects team should definitely be given a thumbs up here. It’s all aged rather well and the Judge costumes are also on point. I dare say that it will be very difficult for the next films to top them here. They’re really on point and my only complaint is that they aren’t used very often.

It’s what I call the “Adam West” syndrome where you have a great concept but don’t actually use it for most of the film. This came into being with how they made two animated Adam West films and in one film Batman turned evil while I think Robin turned evil in the other one. As a result you really didn’t get to have the fun dynamic/type of story you were hoping for. It’s like this with Judge Dredd as well. It’s a great kind of adventure story to see him patrolling the streets and taking down criminals but after the first chunk of the film that is gone forever.

This is due in part to the main plot. See, the general plot of Judge Dredd is that he has been framed. Someone is using his weapons and since they are tied to DNA that means he must be the one who has been murdering people and committing crimes. Dredd believes in the law 100% so he’s also not really sure how to defend himself. A good chunk of the film is Dredd learning that maybe the law isn’t infallible and trying to work his way back into the city.

So the second half is still a pretty fun adventure but it isn’t really “Judge Dredd” the way that the first chunk was. I dare say that the film would have risen up to great status if it had just stayed like the opening bit. Ah well, maybe next time. The action stays solid in both halves although you do feel like the other Judges should be a little stronger.

Basically if you aren’t Judge Dredd then you won’t be doing very well here at all. We see around 100 Judges get destroyed by sneak attacks, bombs, and a giant robot. Given how Dredd is able to handle all of these guys you would just expect a little better. The film does warn you early on that some of these guys are weak though with how the cadet goes down.

So Dredd’s a great main character. He’s definitely all about the law even if he is rather strict with it. The guy was practically made for the job and takes it extremely seriously. Even when he is asked to go back to school the guy assumes it’s for some more hand to hand skills. He’s eager and that’s what you want to see in a main character. I definitely had no complaints.

Then you have Barbara who is the main heroine here. She’s a Judge as well and can certainly fight better than most of the others. I’d give her a thumbs up as well. She’s someone that Dredd could actually count on and that’s big in this kind of world. She did her best in the trial and gets a lot of good moments. The cast is fairly small so it’s important that the big characters did well.

Then you have Fergie who is the main comic relief. He gets a lot of good lines as well. The guy’s at his best when he’s rubbing the situation in to Dredd since he got captured early on. Fergie is not the kind of guy to drop a grudge, I can definitely tell you that. It gets a little cheesy when he actually defeats an opponent later on though so I always say you should keep comic relief characters away from the actual battling. Still, he served his role well enough.

Finally you have the main villain Rico. He’s the only one I wasn’t sold on. I think it’s in part because the guy relies on a ton of luck in order to win his battles. Without things going perfectly he should have lost early on. I find it hard to believe that he was even able to escape prison. That whole sequence will leave you shaking your head. It’s a good thing one of the villainesses liked him to get some babies ready for the experiments or that would have been another hurdle.

All of the villains seem to trust Rico despite the fact that he is completely insane. It just makes you wonder why. The worst is the villainous judge who was on board with the plan from the start and directly caused the deaths of 100+ judges. At the last second he suddenly wants to have some second thoughts. Cmon now, Rico was definitely not going to allow that to happen and this guy should have known that.

The only other decent judge was Judge Fargo and even he was a little too quick to believe in Dredd’s guilt. The guy needed to stand by his pupil through thick and thin. There are also a few random bounty hunters and thugs running around but these are all of the important characters to make note of. The rest are there to flesh things out of course.

Overall, The writing is on point with the film and with the fast pacing it is over in the blink of an eye. There are definitely some violent moments when people get blown apart but surprisingly it’s quite a bit more mild than you might have expected going in. Get ready for one character to go down shockingly quick after they show up near the end though. It’s almost funny in an ironic kind of sense since you were expecting big things here. If you want to check out a classic comic book film with some good action and adventure then I would recommend checking this one out. It’s aged pretty well.

Overall 7/10

The Girl on the Train Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

In this film you quickly see the dangers of meddling in foreign affairs. Things escalate quite a bit with lies snowballing and everyone seeming rather suspect at different points. The film keeps a fast pace going as a thriller but by the end everyone’s so morally bankrupt that the adventure doesn’t exactly end at the highest level.

The movie starts by introducing us to Rachel. She hasn’t had a happy time of things and so she always rides the train back and forth for fun. Rachel has no job and this is just a way for her to pass the time by, not that her roommate knows this. Rachel always watches a couple from the train window and thinks about them constantly. Well, one day it appears that the wife is cheating on the husband with another man and so Rachel wants to do something about it. When the girl vanishes Rachel takes this as her opportunity to get into the case. Will this ultimately end up causing a lot of trouble?

There’s a lot going on here because you have several main characters. Additionally, Rachel is one of those characters who blacks out a whole lot and the film jumps from present to past to future so you’re always figuring out new details. As part of the film is a mystery I’ll mainly be avoiding direct twists. That said, I can still say straight off the gate that I wasn’t a fan of just about any character in the film.

First off you have Rachel who is much too obsessed with these neighbors. She basically lives her life through them and that’s pretty depressing when you think about it. Rachel is also wasting a ton of money by riding the trains every day and not actually doing anything with herself. This would at least not be so bad if she wasn’t constantly drinking but because of that you can’t trust everything she says.

There is a twist near the end that’s pretty shocking but also ends up hurting her character quite a lot. Lets just say that this kind of twist is almost never a positive for a character because I have a hard time believing that someone could be tricked so badly. Not to the level of detail we see with various flashbacks and such. It just makes Rachel look bad even if she isn’t one of the main antagonists. She also did quite a bit of instigating with Scott by lying and providing extra details. Rachel ended up making a big mess of the situation.

As I said, everyone is rather fishy though. Then you have Scott who is portrayed as being incredibly unstable and possessive. He will check his wife’s phone and personal belongings at all times. The guy is incredibly threatening so you can also see why it’s possible that she would have ran off. Of course, a big chunk of the film is determining if she ran off or if this was murder. Scott just doesn’t do anything to make himself appear even remotely sympathetic.

Then you have Megan who seemed to be cheating with everyone in the film. Whenever there was a scandal she was around and so when she vanishes that means there are a ton of suspects. Especially with how quickly she dashed out from her babysitting job with no forewarning. Megan also doesn’t pick up on the clues very easily. Look, if you’re already committing criminal or at least immortal acts with someone then you know they probably don’t have a whole lot of moral qualms. You should never under any circumstances go with them to the woods in the middle of nowhere with bad news/potential blackmail. Not unless you’ve got a gun or something because otherwise you’re putting yourself in a really rough patch here.

Then we’ve got Tom and that guy’s definitely quite antagonistic. As the film goes on your opinion of him will keep on dropping more and more. His façade of being just a nice joe keeps on slipping. That’s just how it is with all of these characters, they start out reasonable but then you learn that they’re cheaters, drunks, violent, etc.

Finally you have Anna and the main issues with the other characters extend to her as well. She can’t take any kind of moral high ground because she never had it to begin with. She started out fairly low on that ladder and just never stopped. Now, there are definitely some times where you will be agreeing with her over Rachel like when she caught the lead with her baby in a rather ominous fashion or when Rachel started haunting the place. Then when you learn the backstory behind this you’ll be shaking your head.

So The Girl on the Train’s issue is really that the characters are all really unlikable. You’ve even got a psychiatrist running around who doesn’t seem entirely innocent to me either but the guy’s role is small and he isn’t super important to the plot. This is just a case of a bunch of characters all being linked by the skeletons in their closet and all of these bones are coming out at once. It certainly puts all of the characters in a rather rough position.

While this is more of a dialogue based thriller, we do have a fairly violent climax. It almost seems a bit like the Snowman’s ending. The weapon isn’t quite as unconventional but it’s a similar effect. Certainly a painful way to go out. You get the feeling that all of the characters will have been traumatized by the time this is all over.

I usually take this time to comment on the romance but it goes without saying that each and every one of the romances in the film were not very good. Either they were founded on dubious circumstances or they ended up being rebounds. No matter how you slice it, I wouldn’t say that any of these romances were actually healthy ones.

Overall, The Girl on the Train isn’t a thriller that I would recommend. The writing isn’t bad but since I find the whole climax plot twist to be rather unbelievable, it does weaken some aspects of it. After all, the entire film rides on that plot twist. If the characters were better that could have gone a long way to helping the film. You want at least one person to root for after all and that could have done the trick.

Overall 3/10