Category Archives: Reviews

The Gex Collection Review

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Gex is one of those series that I was not overly familiar with before playing the collection. I knew about him in a vague kind of way but I can’t say that I knew the story behind the games or even the gameplay. Well, now I got to play through the trilogy and it is definitely an example of a game series that has aged well. The first game is definitely the weakest since it’s in 2D, but as soon as it went over to 3D, it was off to the races.

The first game is your classic platformer, only there is an extra objective. You have to find various TV remotes in order to clear each level until you make it to the end. If you finish the level without it, then you don’t unlock the next level and in a way all you’ve done is waste your time there. So you don’t want to let that happen. They aren’t that hard to find once you’re really looking for them but if you don’t know about this objective, you will probably waste a little time when you complete the level the first time.

It’s a pretty quick game all around though. It doesn’t take you very long to beat all of the main levels. There is a bonus world at the end which does take more time since those levels intentionally go crazy. I ended up going through them for the Platinum trophy but otherwise they aren’t quite as fun. I enjoy a good 2D platformer as much as the next guy but it’s just not as satisfying as playing in 3D. You aren’t able to rush on through and do what you want because there are always pitfalls to watch out for. There is also a bit less of a story in this one as the original. So all in all it’s fun, and certainly brings in a good challenge but it doesn’t hold pace with the next ones.

The second game is where things really kick it off. Gex is called back into the TV worlds to beat his arch nemesis and we get our first look at the 3D environments. They’re definitely quite a bit of fun and feel like something out of Mario 64. You have different worlds which each have multiple remotes to obtain. So you will be completing each world several times until you’ve really gotten the knack for it. You need to complete most of the missions in order to reach the final boss, but not every one. So if there’s a mission you don’t like, you can just skip it.

The gameplay is smooth and without any real issues so you’re able to just enjoy it. The game is much easier than the first but that is pretty hard to avoid with the 3D environment. The jumping and tail spinning are both mechanics that are handled really well. You will be moving with purpose the whole time and the only tricky thing can be the camera at different points.

The game continues with Gex’s smooth sense of humor and boundless confidence. He’s always got something to say about everything. The lines do run out early on so you will be hearing the same tunes quite a few times, but that’s fine. It’s still better to have reused lines than to not have voice acting in the first place after all. It’s all about that balance.

Then we have the third game which changes up the flow quite a bit. Gex has gone from being ultra confident to being a very pleading guy as he begs for the attention of a girl who’s been kidnapped. She enjoys making fun of him while waiting to be rescued and it’s definitely a real crazy dynamic. That being said, the gameplay is still really solid here. The game is even easier than the second one as there are even less levels that you need to play through in order to unlock the final boss. You can skip a great chunk of them and so I had to go out of my way to at least get to play one level in each world. The war level is probably the best one in the game. It’s definitely a lot of fun and shows how the game could really tackle different genres.

Control wise it’s basically the same as the second game so it really stayed consistent there. I’d definitely have no real complaints on this end. So the Gex Collection was definitely solid and the graphics have aged well. The art style works and everything is very clear. Additionally, the soundtrack isn’t bad although it could use a few more all timers. The tunes we have here are good, but I doubt you will be remember any of them a few years from now.

The only weakness is that the third game’s story is not able to hold on as well as the others. The nonstop flirting between Gex and the captive gets old quick and the game is leaning a bit too hard on the fanservice angle here. I would argue it even makes Gex look a little out of character since he was always in control for the first two games and suddenly he is ultra desperate in this one. It may be hard for you to be a fan of the guy by the time this one ends.

There isn’t a ton of replay value here because the Platinum trophy is very easy to obtain. I got it upon beating the third game and so your game’s length will really be based purely on the story modes. Fortunately, that’s the advantage of being a collection. You’ve already got 3 games lined up here and clearing them all will still take some time. Between the three of them you’re probably looking at around 10-12 hours or so and that’s definitely not bad. The games are all individually fun as well so this won’t feel like a bad purchase. I’d definitely say to check it out when you have some time.

Overall, Gex is definitely a fun character and the collection ended up working out pretty well. I’d definitely recommend this to anyone who is looking for a solid platforming experience. The story in the third game can definitely be a bit of a weak point as it’s rare for a video game to be relying on fanservice but as long as you can get around that you will be okay. I think the series would definitely do well with a modern reboot someday although we’ll have to see if that’s in the cards. For the most part this does feel like a forgotten series all the way through.

Overall 7/10

Mr. Driller 2 Review

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I’m not really familiar with the Mr. Driller series so it was pretty interesting to be getting into this one. It’s a very short game but does have voice acting which is pretty cool. Basically an alien race has shown up and is causing trouble with their weird blocks. The hero has apparently had to give them a talking to once before. He will have to do so again before the entire planet is crushed by all of these blocks. Fortunately the aliens are not directly malicious, they are just ultra careless. So finding them is the only challenge.

The hero is nice enough. I like how he did not hesitate when deciding to go over there to talk to the aliens. He talks about saving the world in a very nonchalant manner so from the very start you know that he is the real deal. The game reminds me a little of DK Bonanza in that you are going through a bunch of layers and can see what level you are on as you play through the game. There are 3 main levels here and in each of them you have to keep going as far as you can. One level goes down to 2500 feet, then the others are 5,000 and 10,000.

The graphics for the game are pretty solid. It feels like a modern take on Dig Dug and the various blocks all look solid. Think of the intensity from Tetris and that’s what you’ve got here. You are always at the edge of your seat and the game never holds anything back. Additionally the soundtrack isn’t bad so the technical elements are good. A mild game design choice that didn’t work was how it is very easy to start the game on the second level rather than the first. I accidentally beat America first because that’s where your cursor starts. Level one is all the way at the end of the map for some reason.

Odd choice there but it’s not a big deal. The game is definitely hard because you have to continually dig deeper underground while dodging the falling blocks. In a way you have to be calculating a whole lot of things at once. You want to grab the air bottles which restore 20 points to your life bar which is constantly draining. Breaking through any wood blocks automatically takes away 20 points and the air is constantly surrounded by those. So you have to cause a bunch of matches below those in order to get the blocks to fall just right. It’s a really involved process.

I died a bunch of times and the rough part here is with how long the levels are. So if you die, that’s a lot of replaying that you have to do. Perhaps that is why there are only 3 levels but in that case the game would have been better off increasing the level count and just making each individual one smaller. That is always better game design to me because then there isn’t too much disappointment in defeat and you can continue to hone your skills until you are finally a match to go all the way. That’s the best way to improve if you ask me.

What keeps the game from going any further is ultimately that length so hopefully it’s something that can improve with a sequel. There’s a lot to like here, like having the actual story mode and the fun gameplay. It’s just that I would have absolutely not been thrilled if I had spent any money on the game. That would have really felt like a waste. Since I played it for free, that’s a different story but I still couldn’t give the game a higher score. It’s worth about an hour’s worth of content and you’ll have fun for that hour but that’s it.

Overall, Mr. Driller is a pretty fun game but it could have used more content. Once you have beaten the 3 levels, there isn’t a whole lot to do. You can try to beat them quicker and with a high score but the amount of replay value here is ultimately low. The story had a little charm to it but mainly this is something that is content to be aimed at kids. So ultimately this won’t be changing your life, not nearly as much as you might be hoping that it would. Still, the game is free if you have the Nintendo Switch Online so you should check it out. The gameplay is original and I can’t stop giving it props for the fact that they actually got voice acting in here. That was really cool.

Overall 5/10

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3: Mutant Nightmare Review

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This game has been one of those titles that I’ve had my eye on for decades now. I owned the first two after all so I would need to play the third one too. Unfortunately the gameplay’s been overhauled quite a bit for this one so it’s not quite as solid as the first two, but it’s still a good addition. I like the way they use clips from the show and then new cutscenes to really build the narrative here. The game is longer and even a bit harder than you might have expected as well. So you really have to go in with both eyes open and then hope for the best.

The game has 4 episodes here. The first one deals with the dinosaur war, the second has you taking on Bishop and is goonsquad, and the third one pits you against the Shredder! The final episode brings you up against a monster mutant and you’re in actual nightmares so it makes sense within the title. The final episode really amps up the difficulty although it has less chapters than the other episodes and over half of them have no cutscenes so it’s a lot emptier to compensate for that. There are also a lot of side levels you can do to grind for energy points and buy upgrades.

The upgrades are rather important here because they’re how you learn how to extend your combos as well as hold more scrolls. Scrolls can increase your base state like health and attack power as well as give you other kind of benefits. The health/damage increases are your best bets though. They can make you a real monster out there. I didn’t bother collecting a whole lot of scrolls on my way to the top so I really had to change that as I went through.

A pretty cool thing about the game is that all 4 turtles are fighting at once here. It’s not like the other games where you maybe have 2. The computer also controls them well so they aren’t just there to make you look bad or anything like that. Now, don’t expect them to be amazing. You’ll still have to do most of the work but they actively contribute which is all that I can really ask for here. Usually it feels like the A.I. just stands around in these kinds of games.

I would recommend maxing out your standard attack combo as soon as possible. The combos are level gated so it will take a little while but it’s the best way to go in. Until you have maxed out a combo, your attacks will just stop midway which makes it easy to hit you. So you are going to need to watch out for that. Damage adds up fast in this game so even the foot soldiers will take you out if you’re not careful. Never be afraid to turn back and regroup for a while.

You can use commands to help instruct the other 3 turtles during combat and you can also use super attacks. I never really understood how to do the inputs for the energy ball but the other attacks went easily enough. I ended up choosing Raphael as my character but I didn’t realize he would end up being one of the weakest. Technically I would recommend you pick Leonardo if you ever buy this game. His special attack and general moveset are just so much better than Raphael’s.

The graphics for the game have aged pretty well. The levels look sharp and there are quite a lot of character models. You can feel that the game got a pretty good budget here. Additionally the soundtrack is also classic so I have no issues here. This is a game that is just a lot of fun to play through all the way. Even when you run into a setback, it doesn’t take long to go and train to come back for the rematch. It’s the beauty of shorter levels since it is only when they are very long that you dread having to redo things.

There is some replay value here although I wouldn’t say a ton. You can search for the CDs and Scrolls in each level so that you can say you’ve beaten the game with 100% clear rate. That’s certainly not easy but it is doable. If you pay attention during your initial run, you can probably get over half of them naturally, maybe even 80%. They will help you for the final bosses (The scrolls at least) so that is something to keep in mind.

There are also some bonus modes like time attack and score attack. They each only have one level but every bit of extra content was nice to see. The game definitely went above and beyond when it needed to. So why did I not like the gameplay as much? Well, it’s more about minigames and less time was spent on the combat. You have levels on the hoverboards, first person levels with the shuriken, and also hangglider levels.

For the beat em up sections, often times you can skip all the enemies and just run to the goal. Sometimes you have to fight though and when fighting you’ll quickly notice that it’s very slippery. You end up just running past your enemy when trying to combo him or you will land the blows and they don’t have a lot of oomph to them. It feels more arcade style than the last two and just a bit watered down. Not terrible or anything but the combat just used to be noticeably better which means this is naturally going to lag behind the other two by a bit.

Overall, Mutant Nightmare is still a good game. I’m glad to have finally gotten a chance to play it after all these years. It’s definitely been waiting, that’s for sure. The difficulty will probably survive folks who were expecting a walk in the park and so I would definitely recommend checking this one out. It has aged pretty well and it’s also so nostalgic to go back to the Gamecube days. You do not want to miss out on this one!

Overall 6/10

Mario & Wario Review

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It is always a shame when you have a pretty solid game that is really ruined by a single aspect of it. Unfortunately that is exactly what happened here. The game has solid graphics and an interesting level system but alas the controls are just dreadful. They actually make the Wii Remote look good in comparison! Trust me, you’re going to be feeling rather down about the whole thing by the time you’re done. Still, this was the first new Mario game I’ve played in quite a while so that was pretty cool.

The game lets you choose between Mario, Yoshi, and Peach. Naturally I had to go with Peach because she doesn’t get many chances to shine, but also because her walking speed is slower. That is actually very important in this game because the character is always moving. How it works is that Wario has thrown a bucket over the hero’s head and so you play as a fairy who has to keep the road clear. You will tap on blocks to summon them in front of the player or attack enemies who would have been in the way otherwise. This takes a lot of precision timing and you have to react quickly. So when the player is slower, it ends up helping out a lot.

There isn’t really a plot beyond that unfortunately. There are 10 worlds here and each world has around 10 levels in it So that’s a lot of levels but they tend to be very quick. Most levels you can beat in around 2 minutes or so. The levels start to become more like puzzles once you get deeper into them though. In World 10 there were several times where I just didn’t know where to go. That’s rather impressive in a game like this where there are only a limited amount of actions you can take.

You really have to memorize how high the springs will send you here for example. Otherwise you won’t reach the target or you will go way past it. So it’s definitely something to chew on a bit there. You can use the fairy to reverse Peach’s direction as well which will be key in the final levels. You have to do this a whole lot and with quick timing to avoid the various traps. I can tell you this, without the rewind feature this would have really been a very difficult game to complete.

The artstyle is pretty fun and has definitely aged well. It’s something that Nintendo in particular has done really well over the years. The soundtrack also isn’t bad. It’s not extremely good or anything like that but the main tune doesn’t get too tiring even after hearing it for a large chunk of the game. It’s clear that some real thought was put into the game and that’s why it is a shame that the controls are no good. The gameplay itself is fine. It’s all about pointing and clicking but I have no problems with that.

No, where the problem lies is in the controller itself. To play this game on the Switch Online you need to use the Joypad and then convert it into mouse mode. Nobody wants to use mouse mode. I don’t even know why this is a thing in the first place. Sometimes Nintendo just develops new gimmicks for no real reason. It has really hurt this game and it will hurt others if it continues to be a mandatory style of playing.

There is some replay value here as you don’t have to clear every level to get to the final one. If you go back and do them all, you unlock a final boss level. So you may want to do that to see how the story really ends. Ultimately I just couldn’t get past the controls to do that though. They are really draining the whole time and so you don’t get a whole lot of enjoyment out of them. You’ll die quite a few times even when you know exactly what to do because the controller just isn’t listening to you. Those are always the worst ways to go out and you’ll be left just shaking your head.

Overall, Mario & Wario may have finally arrived on modern consoles but unfortunately it should have been left to history rather than return in this form. It tarnishes the Mario brand and ends up being a waste even with Wario being the big villain. This is the kind of game that could desperately use some kind of high budget remake. I think there are many ways they could improve upon the source material without drastically changing things. It could be a worthy puzzle rival to Mario vs DK. In the meantime though, this is the kind of game you’ll want to skip. If you have the Switch Online then you may as well check it out for free but otherwise I certainly wouldn’t spend any money on it.

Overall 3/10

Fire Emblem Shadows Review

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I finally got around to trying out the new Fire Emblem game that Nintendo launched for mobile. On one hand I applaud them for finally bringing a new mobile title into the fray. It feels like it has certainly been a while. On the other hand….did they really have to force in more gimmicks? This would have been such a fun title if it was traditional Fire Emblem and instead they try to make it like Among Us and it doesn’t really work with this style. Ultimately this one won’t be a keeper for me.

The general story is pretty par for the course when it comes to Fire Emblem. A kingdom is overthrown and so the prince has to escape along with his trusty bodyguard. He meets up with two girls who seem nice enough, but then they find out that one of the 4 of them is an imposter. Who can it be? Well, the first time it’s the chipper girl with red hair, the next time it’s the other girl with black hair, and then it’s the main character! The last one ends up being a dream though and now you’re back to a full party. The prince needs to gather a lot of powerful allies and then bring his kingdom back to power. Can he pull this off?

To be clear, while the plot is rather straight forward, I still enjoyed it. Mainly due to the character designs being nice and colorful and the game having good presentation. The audio is good, the soundtrack is solid, and the writing is on point. So the story isn’t the problem here, its the gameplay. Think of this as a semi auto tactical game. The characters move on their own and attack on their own. You control the special abilities like healing and energy blasts. In any matchup there are 3 heroes, only one of those 3 is actually a villain.

If you’re playing as the hero, you want to hurry up and beat the enemies and then afterwards there is a guessing round to see who the villain is. So you’ve got a 50/50 shot no matter what. If you guess right, you gain 1 auto revive for when the battle with the traitor starts. Then if you win that battle, you win. The immediate problem here is that the deck is stacked in favor of the traitor. The traitor can destroy you with around 2 moves as soon as the battle begins.

All attacks are anonymous but you can probably guess who the traitor is based on who isn’t hit right? Wrong! The main strategy is for the traitor to knock everyone out, then there is no way to tell who it was. Then in the second round, you can get a revive but it won’t stack since you just died. So you will die to the traitor anyway. I’m told that as you progress through the game you will get power ups and armor that prevent the game from being so one sided but the gameplay design itself feels flawed to me.

On one hand, I like how quick the rounds are. You can play a few rounds very quickly. On the other hand, it’s just too automated for me. I’d rather move the character myself and then set up the traps as I go. Having the system do the movement for me just takes away the fun out of a whole chunk here. It’s just barely Fire Emblem at that point. Nintendo really can’t resist going along with gimmicks here and unfortunately it did not land. I feel like Nintendo has been missing a whole lot more than usual lately.

Outside of the gameplay, the title is really strong in the other areas. It just doesn’t matter enough because at the end of the day, you’re here for the gameplay right? That will always be the most important part of a gaming experience after all because without that, you won’t be able to continue. In very extreme circumstances the story might be so good you can force your way through bad gameplay but that is exceptionally rare. The flip side of that is certainly way more common.

Overall, Fire Emblem Shadows is certainly a fresh experiment by Nintendo and I wish it the best but this game is just not for me. Sometimes you can tell right away if the game fits your style and the opposite is true as well. I feel like the series is big enough where I can see this one being really successful so maybe they can use some of the revenue to make a movie r something. It’s long past due for Fire Emblem to really get more kinds of media. The game is free on the app store so you should probably give it a shot. It certainly can’t hurt and maybe you’ll like it more than I did.

Overall 4/10

The Rage: Carrie 2 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for the return of Carrie. Unfortunately this film is definitely no good and tries too hard to be like the first one which is not a good idea. The only real amusing part here is that the main character looks like a debater that I’ve seen on Youtube a handful of times, but that’s really it. This one just embraces being real mean spirited the whole time and never actually gets good. The whole climax also revolves around the main character not really being very smart.

The film focuses around a girl named Rachel who isn’t a super big people person. She tends to be very goth and her best friend is the most social one. Unfortunately her friend destroys herself after being used by her boyfriend. Most of the guys in this school are unfortunately bad people as they keep score of who they get with and it’s all a game. Unfortunately they all tend to have high scores so there is a lack of morals on both sides. To be clear though, the guys get more blame on this for starting such a terrible game in the first place.

One guy in the group named Jesse begins to like Rachel so he tells the others to back off but they don’t plan on stopping. Rachel’s friend may have taken a photo of the two of them together before she passed and so now they want to scare Rachel into submission before she does something that can ruin their chances of winning the big football game. So they aim to take her down but what they don’t realize is that she has supernatural powers capable of slaughtering an entire town. Will Rachel be able to stop these guys?

That is ultimately the main problem here, this is just a slightly altered version of Carrie. Initially Rachel isn’t the one being bullied, but that ends up happening to her anyway. There is one person who is sympathetic to her (Jesse) but he isn’t in a position to help anyway. It just follows the first film to a T and it’s not like that one got a particularly good score. This one proceeds to double down though like randomly having Rachel’s dog get hit by a car. She’s also brought up by two abusive foster parents who don’t even pretend to like her, they just like the money that comes in for looking after her.

Another problem which I alluded to in the beginning is that the film relies on Rachel not having any common sense. Lets look at the series of events her. Rachel’s best friend dies, all of the guys start to bully and terrify her constantly. Suddenly, all the cool girls in school who never liked Rachel invite her to a big party and all the guys will be there to apologize. Why would Rachel honestly think this is on the up and up? It’s probably the biggest red flag I’ve ever seen.

That sounds like a good way to be vanished if we’re being honest here. Going to a rowdy school party after hours where there will be no supervision? Yeah that’s a bad idea. Even if on the off chance they were being legit, that would not be enough reason to go. You’re just asking for trouble at that point. Alas, it goes about as you would expect as they mess with her for a while until she is eventually able to take them down. It just takes way too long for her to get these abilities activated.

The whole humiliation scene as they put her on the big screen and everybody’s laughing just reminds you how none of the characters are likable. They’ve all got to go and so you’re not particularly upset when Rachel starts destroying everyone. Yeah, not all of the kids were super guilty in there. While I doubt any of them were all that good, just hanging around a bad crowd doesn’t mean you deserve the death penalty. It’s particularly rough for the lady who was trying to reunite Rachel with her mother because she gets taken out without even being able to say anything. The actual mother also looks pretty bad but she was literally crazy so I guess that’s to be expected.

The film would have just been so much better if Rachel could actively use her powers and it could have been framed as a foil to what happened with Carrie. Rachel would instead be ready to do what she needed to do. Also I’m not really going to let Jesse off the hook here. I’m glad that he would defend Rachel but it doesn’t change the fact that he hung out with such a terrible group of people for so long. I would also say he needed to break things off with the other girl much more officially and obviously he shouldn’t go to her house where she is going to try some things.

He put himself in all of the worst positions and also came off as naive when he started falling for what the bullies were selling as well. As someone more or less on the inside he definitely should have sensed that this was a trap. He gets off easier than the rest, albeit he will have to live with daily jump scares. That’s just the price of surviving an evet like this.

The ending is rather weak though. As far as jump scares go, it may be one of the weakest that I’ve seen. Seriously there is just nothing impressive about it and barely even works as a twist ending. So it’s ultimately a pretty pointless moment. They may as well have brought back the comedic music from when the mother escaped the asylum.

The film isn’t too violent for the most part but it certainly makes up for lost time with the ending. That part gets extremely violent for the entire duration of the scene. So you’ll want to watch out for that. Mix that in with some fanserivce from all the affairs for the game the guys were plying and this was really a recipe for disaster. The film goes out of its way to make everyone super unlikable and it really succeeds. Even most of the adults ultimately fall before the power of bribes and politics. It really makes for a jaded experience.

Overall, I recommend skipping this one unless you really don’t mind sitting through an intensely mean spirited film. Everything that could go wrong for Rachel certainly did here and ultimately it’s not like the ending helps her out either. We do get a big twist (That you might have gotten spoiled on from the opening scene) that helps to explain the powers but it’s not like that does anything to save the experience for you. This needed to be a superhero origin story or something to have at least given you some hope for future installments.

Overall 1/10

House of the Dead Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

House of the Dead is one of those films that’s very infamous. It doesn’t have a whole lot of big defenders to be honest. Mostly it just gets a lot of mocking and you can see why. The film is definitely not taking things very seriously and some aspects like the music are definitely not general audience friendly. Ultimately it is a bad film but I dare say it does manage to defeat the average horror flick.

The movie starts with someone reminiscing about how things were before all of his friends were murdered. We then flash back to the actual movie which is always a very annoying way to start a movie. Why even let us know that one of the characters is going to live through this? Well, there’s a big rave taking place on the island of the dead but a few teenagers were running late so they missed the boat. They’re forced to pay an extremely high price to hitch a ride with the only boat left in town. The captain’s first mate isn’t particularly nice and the captain is certainly not making things easy but this party is a once in a lifetime event. The problem is when they get there, all of the people are gone. Instead there are only hordes of zombies. Can the heroes manage to take them down??

You may be wondering what happened to the house. Well, that appears near the end of the film but really this should have been called the Island of the Dead. Most of the film is really about them trying to survive on that island while they are attacked by endless rounds of zombies. The heroes fortunately are able to get their hands on guns and other weapons with which to defend themselves. It’s really the only way to fight back and they manage to get pretty good at using them.

Where the film is probably going to lose some people is when it becomes a full on action. Once the heroes get their weapons, this very quickly stops being a horror film and quickly leans into the action all the way. We get a ton of slow mo scenes and a very extended fight where the heroes are shredding all of the zombies. I didn’t have a problem with the length but the slow motion effect does get old rather quickly. The long fight is still the best part of the film though. I’ll take an action over a horror any day after all. There is a little plot armor in how the humans are faring so well here though.

The film is very inconsistent about how physically strong the zombies are as well as their speed. It all appears to just be at the level that it needs to be for the scene. The scene transitions are also a bit too random with all of the video game clips randomly showing up. It could have been fun once or twice but it happens very frequently with no real rhyme or reason to it. Definitely not the way to go here.

Meanwhile the soundtrack is actually very good for most of the film. There is a lot of good rock themes as well as just generally fast tunes which really fit in well with all of the fighting. That’s something that has actually aged really well so I appreciated that. The visuals can be rather hit or miss but I did enjoy the choreography for the battles. One character actually knows martial arts and gets to pummel several characters that way.

While most of the characters are annoying teenagers, I did really enjoy the boat captain. He was at least trying to make sense of what was going on here and also didn’t show any fear. He was particularly impressive in his very first encounter with a zombie because he just casually shot it while still smoking his cigarette. That takes a lot of guts right there. He was also the reason the others even had weapons with which to fight the zombies so without him they would have all been dead very quickly.

I also enjoyed the policewoman because she was smart enough to put aside her beef with the captain to fight against the zombies. I know some lesser characters who wouldn’t have adapted like that. She did really well in her fights as well and ultimately only got held back by the others and the ammo starting to run low. It does make sense that with all of the shooting they were doing, they would eventually run out of bullets.

This film didn’t really need a main villain though. An endless horde of zombies is already scary enough right? Well, we do get a mastermind at the end and he even gets an origin story. The scenes just make everyone else look bad because there is one moment where he goads a guard into getting close enough to destroy him. Whenever someone loses to a guy who is fully chained up, I’m going to have some problems there.

There also isn’t much to this villain. He just craves violence and got immortality. It’s not like he has any kind of a master plan or anything. He just does whatever he wants and that’s not exactly a recipe for success. He does put up a good fight in the end but it’s barely even a consolation because he should have won that fight. Losing just makes him look even less impressive.

Naturally it goes without saying as a zombie film that this one can be pretty violent. You have a ton of characters getting slashed and destroyed during the mayhem. So if you’re not big on all of that then this would be a reason to stay away. It might have slightly more restraint than other zombie films as it doesn’t usually dwell on the deaths but yeah the violence is still at a high level here.

Overall, This film had some good ideas but could not land the execution. While I enjoyed some of the adult characters like the captain and the policewoman, there was nothing good to be said about the teens. The fact that some of them didn’t even care when the rave was empty just shows that they aren’t the smartest characters in the bunch. Any semblance of romance here just feels obligatory as none of the characters seem mature enough for it and they take too long to get serious about this. Of course if you’re planning to go to a Rave on an island in the middle of nowhere, I’d argue that your moral compass may already be in a rather dicey spot. You should only check this film out if you reallllly like zombie fighting and even then you will have to sit through a bit of a slow first half before the zombies even appear.

Overall 3/10

Cape Fear Review

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It’s time for one of those films that makes you wish the main character was someone different. The whole film revolves around the main character not being willing to make the tough calls until it’s nearly too late whereas other leads could have ended this really early. The film even stacks the deck by having the lead be friends with the chief of police along with having a super long, clean record. Yeah there were definitely ways to avoid the fallout that ensues and I dare say it would have been a much better movie as well.

The film starts with Sam working on another case when an ex convict shows up. This guy’s name is Max and he’s pretty upset because Sam is the one who put him away for a long time a while back. Unfortunately, Max was let go after only 8 years due to good behavior. That’s not good news for Sam because this guy is completely unrepentant and wants to take his revenge. He basically tells Sam that he’s going to take down his wife and daughter. Sam has an easy out here, he could murder Max. However, doing so would tarnish his social reputation. So in that case…what can he do?

Well, the answer should be clear here, he’s gotta take this guy down. Sam knows that it’s no bluff since this guy was put away once already. It’s not like he’s just trying to scare Sam. So I would argue that Sam has a moral duty to go as far as he can in order to protect his family. This is a fairly seedy town to the point where there are gangs running around who can be hired to beat people up. So in that case you dispose of Max and cover it up along with the help of the locals, the cops, or just do it yourself and don’t tell anybody.

There are a lot of methods for this but the main point is that you can take care of the villain and hide the evidence. Sam is too worried about doing things by the book here and that just puts everyone in danger. Before the film is over Max gets at least two more victims and also really traumatizes both the daughter and the wife. Yes, he was stopped but it was at a really high cost and Sam cut things really close.

Sam did hire a gang to help out at one point but that was still the half hearted approach. I mean, he couldn’t have known that they would all be defeated but that’s why you gotta do the job personally. To their credit, the cops at least do as much as they can to protect Sam. There’s just going to be an obvious limit to what they can do here. Especially in an official capacity.

I would say Sam’s wife also comes across as looking very naive here. For a good chunk of the film she isn’t taking the situation quite as seriously like when she lost sight of the daughter or when she tells Sam that he better not even think of murdering Max. She’s acting like this isn’t life or death stakes and doesn’t really change her tune until the very end of the film. It was definitely more than a little annoying because this concerns her just as much as it does Sam. In some ways more since she is one of the active targets.

Naturally Max is one of those villains who isn’t made to be likable so pretty much any scene with that guy is going to be super annoying. He’s always very smug because his opponents are going to be pushovers here. He keeps on pushing Sam because he knows that nothing is going to happen and so you’re just waiting for the tides to turn but it takes a really long time to get to that point. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time.

Of course this kind of plot is always going to limit how good the film can be and unfortunately it takes the low road at each opportunity. If Max was just aiming to murder the family that would be one thing but he wants to do more than that and he has a history of it as well. He also gets another lady midway through the film and so he ends up getting away with way too much. That kind of Sword Art Online plot is always going to doom any movie with it. It means this film’s going to make for a very dreary watch the whole time.

It’s going for easy tension with the threats of what could happen which always comes at the expense of a good time. The fact that the villain gets as far as he does only serves to further hurt the experience. Additionally, the film wasn’t satisfied with just doing that and so of course we have to have the death of a dog in here as well. It’s just one of those things where you can immediately tell that this is the kind of film that will go there. The villain obviously has no qualms about it and unfortunately the heroes aren’t able to watch the dog at all times. So you have to watch as Sam doesn’t do anything about this because he’s legally stuck once again.

I know you wouldn’t have much of a film if he acted quickly but that would have made so much more sense. Even at the bar when Sam was being threatened, you could just shoot him there and explain that he was reaching for the gun or something. If there was ever a time to commit a crime, this would be it. You commit one to save your family and you have the knowledge that they will be safe. At the very least this film is a good example of what not to do if you’re ever in a situation like this. Sam also talks about how leaving isn’t an option but honestly if you aren’t going to fight, it’s worth a shot. This was in the days before advanced technology after all so you would have much better odds of vanishing than you would otherwise. It’s not the best strategy but it’s better than doing nothing right?

Overall, Cape Fear is definitely the kind of film I’d highly advise you to avoid at all costs. It goes out of its way to step into every cinematic pitfall possible and it doesn’t even have any real positives to fight against this. You probably can’t cobble together 10 minutes of happy moments because there is always the underlining threat that is looming. The heroes keep letting themselves be backed into a corner throughout the movie and the ending isn’t the most satisfying. Yeah one character is trying to get the ultimate win here but at the same time you can’t help but think that he will now have to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life. It’s not like that would have saved the film at all but I still would have enjoyed a more positive ending.

Overall 1/10

Final Destination 5 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Final Destination is back once again to remind you that the heroes never stood a chance! This one at least ties back to the original compared to the last stand alone one but in the end it is a marginal victory at best. This is not the kind of film that is going to end up ranking for you at all as it is still suffering from all of the usual issues. It feels bad, but what can you do right? At least we do have a big fight scene here against an opponent who can actually be stopped.

The film starts off with Sam and his coworkers all heading into the company bus. Sam has been slacking off at work and his friend/supervisor Peter gives him a warning. Unfortunately they are all brutally murdered on the bridge as the whole thing collapses. Things were not supposed to go like this and so they all have regrets. Well, there was one survivor, Molly. Sam was able to save her at the last second but then he wakes up right before the accident happened. This time he saves a handful of them but the coroner shows up to remind them that Death’s going to slay them all one by one. Sam doesn’t want to die, but how can he stop it? The cast are given one clue, they can murder someone to switch destinies with but that would make them no matter than a common criminal. What should they do?

Now obviously this is Death’s rigged game so do you think murdering someone would actually let you off the hook? The film makes sure to answer that question and it should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone. The whole point of these films is that Death just wants an excuse to mess with a bunch of people for no real reason. The coroner acts like Death is upset but no it’s all part of the game and I bet this guy is in on it. I like how smug he always is as he warns the characters of their impending demise. Not because there’s some way for them to get out of this, but because there is no escape. They are doomed to all die violent deaths.

Poor Sam seems like a reasonable character. He’s not particularly noteworthy or anything but at least he’s trying to help out and do the right thing. I would argue that he can appear to be dangerously naive at times though. In particular the scene that calls out to me is when a drunk Peter appears at the entrance of his restaurant in the dead of night. This guy has been acting rather crazy and violent for a while now and you really think it’s a social call? Naturally it’s not and that takes us to the next life or death moment. It just feels like that’s a point where you need to already be ready to fight and he seemed shocked by the whole thing.

The same thing is true for Molly who is very slow to react to Peter’s long speech about those who don’t deserve death. It was pretty clear what he was driving at there but she didn’t put the pieces together. It’s the little things like this which meant that the heroes would have a harder time surviving. Sure, they can’t beat Death but perhaps they can at least beat the human antagonist running around right?

Of course I have no real sympathy for Peter. Yeah he got a raw deal with what happened to his girlfriend and it was particularly brutal but jumping into murdering other people is immediately a step too far. He needed to rage against the system, like find a way to defeat Death, not take it out on the other victims. He just went crazy too quickly. It’s not surprising and unfortunately it’s probably realistic that a good amount of people would do that but it certainly hurts him as a character.

As always the film has an issue with being over the top violent. All of the deaths are pretty intense and definitely are ones you will want to avoid if you aren’t big on violence. The deaths continue to do their best to top the previous films and while it’s hard to say if they succeed or not as it gets relative after a while, they certainly do their best. The special effects are certainly out there.

I will give the film credit for probably having the best of the shock endings. You sort of see where it’s going as soon as the scene starts out. I would argue that the main characters look a bit naive here. I was half expecting Sam to say something like: “Wow what’s wrong with that guy? Lol” Now granted, the film tries to spin it like he didn’t hear what the guy said but after what he’s just been through, he should be taking everything 100X more seriously than usual. Ultimately it would have been futile. I know that but you gotta try to last as long as you can in these things.

Overall, This is definitely another Final Destination film. There isn’t a whole lot to it story wise and while the characters are better than in the last one, I wouldn’t say that any of them are super likable either. My favorite would either be the cop or the manager who was working with him but both of them go out in rather unfortunate ways and you were rooting for them to be able to put the pieces together. Instead, they’re really just here to spin their wheels and not actually make any real progress. The sad thing is that you could cut them out of the film and literally nothing would change. They ultimately had no impact on the film which is a real shame. This could have been something for sequels to build off of.

Overall 1/10

The Final Destination Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Final Destination film but unfortunately the series has yet to turn the corner and manage to deliver a solid experience. The films just don’t have much of a hook here since the heroes have no shot at winning and can only wait for their inevitable demise. At that point there just isn’t much left for you and it ends up being a film where you’re just waiting for everybody to meet with sudden and rather grim endings.

The movie starts with Nick and his friends at a Nascar event. It was supposed to be a fun time but they are all wiped out in a tragic accident. Fortunately this accident was actually just a dream of the future and so Nick is able to get a few people out in time. It’s seen as a miracle although some are upset that he didn’t save more people. Unfortunately what they are about to find out is that dying at the racetrack would have been the easier path. Death isn’t happy now and plans to make them pay for this with really prolonged deaths.

The films never make it super clear on who gives Nick the visions. Is it Death just to make things more fun or is there some kind of counter force trying to help out? I hope it’s the former just because if someone is trying to help, they’re doing a rather bad job of it. In most of the films it’s mentioned how Death isn’t happy when people escape his wrath so that would imply he’s not the one doing it but I choose to believe he’s just trolling. The other explanations just aren’t very satisfying.

As the main character Nick isn’t terrible but there really aren’t many likable characters here at all. Some of the other characters make him look good in comparison but he’s in a rather toxic friend group and that’s a red flag in itself. He does have the makings of a detective with how he is able to make large leaps to figure out what’s about to happen but it’s not like he’s ever able to make a difference. He can buy some time but at the end he realizes that he was playing right into Death’s hands either way. You can’t win a rigged game and so all of his efforts did not help.

The film is as violent as you’d expect with the films continually trying to top themselves. Each death is really dragged out to the max so they last forever although this does make it easier to avert your gaze for the moment of impact if you don’t really want to see it all. At the end of the day that is supposed to be the film’s appeal after all. The anticipation of the murder coming up and how intense it’ll be. So you’re out of the target audience right away if you’re not trying to see all that.

The film certainly puts a lot of budget into the special effects and it shows so I can give the film credit there. It would be nice if they could have sneaked in some good characters as well though. Hunt seems to pretty much be a bully the whole time and actively looks forward to seeing people get murdered which isn’t cool. Janet decides to deny the obvious truth that they’re all being hunted and stays in an area that would only speed up her death. The theater itself isn’t inherently dangerous but when everyone’s telling you to leave, it’s probably time to go. I guess at least she had one of the quicker deaths.

Then you’ve got the poor security guard who got roped into this and ultimately gives up, only for death to give him hope before taking it away. There was a mom who seemed nice enough but she isn’t spared either. At the end of the day, whether you’re a nice character or not, you’re going down all the same but it’s particularly rough for the characters who have no idea what is going on. I guess it’s not like that knowledge would help them out though.

There is just barely a plot here as the characters run in circles reacting to death other’s deaths until it is all over. The film does continue to leave us with a rather sudden ending though and they usually try to land a little dark humor here. I’m not sure if this one is completely going for that or not but it’s so sudden that it works either way. While it may not be super satisfying, it is expected and was handled better than expected. At least the X ray vision helps to make things a little less violent.

Maybe if they put the whole film in x ray vision it would be better, although even then I don’t think it would be by a wide margin. The film would still come across as mean spirited and going too far out of its way to make every death as disturbing as possible. If the kills could at least be normal and quick it wouldn’t be as bad. Make it more of a thriller to stay alive and just tone down the slasher/horror elements. At least they’re so crazy that you won’t get paranoid about your every day appliances as you figure none of that can actually happen in real life.

Overall, Final Destination is not going to succeed in being a good film until it fundamentally changes something about how these titles play out. Whether it is in establishing a weakness for Death or in allowing some kind of other entity to show up and fight him, there needs to be more than just a long adventure about everyone dying in the end. Without more substance to the film, it just ends up being an overly violent, edgy mess. I’ll be reviewing the next film in the saga soon but needless to say, not much has changed.

Overall 1/10