I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to end the trilogy of horror in the Summer series. The titles always get pretty interesting with this one but it’s basically just your average horror. Nothing’s really going on beyond the mass murders here and none of the characters are likable. So what you have is just a long journey of watching them all get picked off one by one which doesn’t make for the most engaging experience.

The movie starts off with some teenager drama as Amber and her boyfriend Colby decide to make a long distance relationship work but first they’re going to spend one last July 4th with the crew. They pull off a prank making the whole town think there is some kind of serial killer on the loose but things get a little too close to home when one of them actually dies during the prank. They cover this up and then go their separate ways. Time passes and the next year arrives with Amber meeting up with Colby in town but he didn’t tell her he would be there so it’s sort of like they’ve unofficially broken up. None of the gang even remotely likes each other anymore but they have to band together one last time because the murderer they faked may actually be a real person now. Is it someone trying to expose the murder they had covered up?

From there on it’s time for everyone to start taking massive Ls against the villains. It’s not really surprising that it goes this way either because they were outgunned from the jump. Usually in these films you have to find an excuse to scatter the main characters but that isn’t needed here because of how much they hate each other. They threaten each other more than once and constantly split up. At one point Colby heads off to go drink by himself knowing full well by this point in the movie that the body count was rather large and still not caring about this at all. It’s definitely one of the worst moves you can make.

There is one decision that is even worse though. At one point the teens finally come up with their first reasonable plan. They will all hop in a car together, pick a direction and just keep on driving. The murders seem to be leading up to July 4th which is when they covered up the murder so they just make sure they’re in a different state by then. They can always return later or choose not too, but that should keep them safe right? The film takes great pains to explain that this wouldn’t have worked by the end but ignoring that, this is actually a really good plan.

If you take away the classic trope of the slasher villain being super fast and all knowing, there isn’t really a counter to this plan. Even if he can grab a vehicle he won’t be able to follow them quick enough before they’re past the border. Then at that point as long as they don’t do anything ignorant, they can stay off the grid for a while. Change their names or go far enough away where it won’t matter. The problem of course is that this plan was too good so one of the characters complains that she has to go out and perform in a rock band real quick first.

She knows full well that the villain is going to make his move now since it’ll be July 4th but she is prioritizing the concert? I know scouts will be there and that it’s a big deal but it still makes absolutely no sense so stay. It’s one of those scenes that will definitely have you rolling your eyes the whole time because it just makes no sense. There’s basically no way that anyone would have made that move.

It’s not like these films are really known for their writing or anything but that was still crazy. The film has its share of twists as the whole thing is part mystery after all. The identity of the villain is definitely a game changer but unfortunately it also does make the experience a little more pointless. The film actually gives us a real climax with some action and everything but due to how the plot goes, it doesn’t matter a whole lot. Ultimately you know that there is just no way for the heroes to pull this off.

The twist ending is a classic horror staple and this one has an ending like that but it’s basically the bare minimum. Sort of like the writer shrugging and figuring “welllll they’d probably like to see this ending sooo..here ya go” but there’s no creativity or inspiration here. I suppose you could say that for most of the film but it’s still not a great look. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, this is definitely not a high quality film and what’s more…I’d say it’s definitely a skip straight up.

The film suffers from the usual slasher issues like being overly violent with all of the kills. The film gets as gratuitous as possible. In part that’s probably why every character is written to be super unlikable so you don’t feel as bad for them but that’s not a winning strategy in the slightest. I also think that the culprit should have been someone else. Now that may have made some of the scenes in this movie a little harder to buy but you were probably going to have to stretch some disbelief here anyway. So just knock all of that out in one shot and then you’re in a much better position.

Overall, I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is a pretty bad movie. It’s really just hitting all of the beats without adding anything to them. It’s going through the motions in the most robotic way possible. It’ll quickly fade into obscurity as just another slasher film. I’ll give tiny props for actually having the heroes try to fight the villain near the end instead of just running and tripping but there are very few positives to be had here. You just won’t be having a whole lot of fun during this title. I still can’t believe not even one character decided to just drive off and leave town. It’s the easiest solution for 90% of these films which is why most movies actually make an effort to prevent this from being an option. Like there’s no roads or there’s an avalanche or something. This film had no such excuse.

Overall 1/10

Super Mario Bros. Wonder Review

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Whenever Nintendo releases a big Mario game you better believe that the whole planet is put on notice. It really feels like ages since the last big Mario game too, particularly the last 2D one. Fortunately Wonder is a great game that adds a lot of new mechanics and really feels like a fresh experience. It takes a few chances and not every gamble pays off but ultimately it’s just great to have more Mario content. I just wish Nintendo wouldn’t put their mascot on break for so many years at a time.

The basic plot here is that Bowser has merged with a giant ship and now he intends to take over the entire planet! Mario must team up with Daisy and co. to stop him. They’re in the Flower Kingdom this time which is a nice way to incorporate new supporting characters and whole new environments. I don’t think these guys will ever be as iconic as the Toads but they’re fun enough. We even have talking plants for full voice acting although I doubt most people will be big fans of them. I kept the voices on for the whole game but I did change the language to Japanese near the end for kicks.

The gameplay has a lot of the classic Mario elements you will recognize like running and jumping to the goal. You have some big power ups like the fire flower which are classic but also new ones like a bubble flower and elephant mode. I can’t say that Elephant mode is my favorite but the bubble form is really helpful. It can one shot almost any enemy and also gives you extra jumps by using the bubbles you shoot out. It is incredibly handy in a pinch! You’ve also got a drill hat to plunge into the ceiling. Most of the time you don’t really need to use the power ups so you can have fun in normal form but it’s nice to experiment a bit.

A new gimmick for this game are the badges which you can equip for all kinds of special abilities like an extra jump, being notified when you’re near a secret, etc. I held onto the glide from the tutorial but mainly stayed away from the badges so they wouldn’t make the game too easy. It’s easy to see how they would make this a bit of a cakewalk in the end. In terms of difficulty I would say this is easier than the last few 2D titles like New Super Mario Bros and Mario World but it has some reasonably tough levels so it’s not going to be on easy mode or anything.

One odd choice is that the worlds don’t get progressively harder the way they normally would. Every world has some easy levels and some hard ones and you get to see the difficulty counter before entering a level. This is because you don’t have to beat every level in order to move on. It’s all about the collectible like stars in this game. So for example you may need to get 15 collectibles in order to move onto the next world out of 25. So then you can skip like 3-4 levels. I actually 100% completed world 1 initially because I figured the stars would carry over but they don’t so just a heads up on that. When you have enough to fight the boss, just go ahead and fight him. There is no real benefit to waiting longer than that.

In addition to the normal levels there are mini ones that are like break levels. You get to master a badge in each level and some will just have a fun theme like trying to solve a puzzle or unravel a song. They are a nice break from the standard levels and are good additions to have here. I’m not always thrilled about the open world nature of the areas as you can sometimes waste some time trying to find the place you want to go but that’s mainly just an issue in the desert world which is the worst one by far. The rest are still pretty clearly labeled the whole time. When you lose a level you are also thrown right back in with incredible speed which is really a good thing.

The graphics are really top tier and this is some of the best visuals we’ve seen for a classic Nintendo type title. The environments are all very colorful and there are a lot of different enemies to take on. Each world feels different as well. The soundtrack is filled with a lot of fun themes and also some nice remixes. My favorite new theme has to be the final boss battle but in general I liked the villain themes here. They weren’t afraid to go all out and even seem a little towards the rock genre.

The actual campaign likely won’t take you too long, maybe around 6 hours or so. That said there is a good amount of replay value if you aim to 100% the game. I don’t actually know what you unlock for doing so yet. Hopefully a bonus ending or something cool like that. I don’t tend to 100% these since there are no trophies involved but if the reward is good enough then I’ll consider it. I also played the whole game as Daisy so it’ll be fun to play around as some of the other characters. I could even have fun using a bunch of badges now that I’ve beaten the game. So I can just relax and hang out while playing the levels.

Bowser not kidnapping Peach for a change is a nice twist but I would still like the series to take the story a bit farther at some point. It’s Mario so I’m not asking for something dark or super serious. Even happy type games can have a good story ongoing and that’s all I want. Give us some fun cutscenes, a cool journey to follow and I’m set. That would be completely ideal and I don’t think it would be all that hard. It’s hard to picture it ever happening but mix in the great gameplay with an awesome story and then we could be looking at one of the all time all stars.

Overall, Super Mario Bros. Wonder is definitely a great game. It is a lot of fun to play through and as you’d expect from Nintendo’s flagship character every detail has been given a lot of polish and attention. The only things keeping it from going a bit higher is the lack of a true story and the game also feeling a little short. In general platformers aren’t very long of course and that makes sense but I do feel you tend to need a certain amount of length in order to be one of those elite 9 star titles. I would definitely recommend picking this game up though. It’s not a title that you want to miss out on!

Overall 8/10

Sonic Superstars Review

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It’s time we had a talk about the latest Sonic game. I’ve always been more of a 3D Sonic fan to be honest and tend to mention that at every opportunity but the 2D games are fun enough. It just feels like they go against the nature of Sonic which is to run really fast. Ironically you are allowed to blast through stages at full speed much more often in Super Mario Bros. Wonder, another example of Mario just dominating in the 2D space. Sonic needs to stick to 3D and this game has all the issues the 2D titles tend to have. That said, it is still a pretty good game but I don’t think it will remain in most peoples’ memories for very long.

The general plot is that Fang and Trip are working for a mad genius known as Dr. Eggman. Eggman wants to destroy a blue speedster known as Sonic The Hedgehog and by utilizing the powers of the chaos emerald and time reversal technology, he may actually have a chance this time. Fortunately Sonic has his friends at the ready. Tails, Amy, and Knuckles are around to do their part and back Sonic up. Together there is no foe that can overcome this force for good!

There is barely a plot in the game though so you are really playing for the gameplay. I don’t really get why Sega refuses to let the 2D games have their own big stories. Sure you want to keep it distinct from the 3D titles but you could absolutely have fun plots with voice acting and everything in the 2D days. Just look at how top tier titles like Shantae handle this. You can interpret the general story from the animations we get of course but it won’t end up feeling quite as grand that way.

For the gameplay I don’t really have any issues. It’s very classic with how you can jump, run really fast, and spin dash. You maneuver through the levels by activating different devices and defeating enemies. At the end of the level naturally you will end up going against a giant boss as well. There is a lot of variety with the bosses and they’re all solid except for the final boss where I had issues with the sheer length. Difficulty isn’t a problem, it’s good when a final boss is tough but having to replay long segments can always be annoying. That final battle took me quite a few tries.

One thing I would recommend is using your chaos emerald powers as much as possible. They make a massive difference in combat. Fortunately the chaos emeralds are all in spots that are easy to find. I managed to gather them all during a normal playthrough which was nice since it meant I wouldn’t have to try and search them out later on. Now that’s really nice since usually they can be super hard to find. It can just be tough to get in the habit of using the powers since you’re so used to just using the normal platforming tricks but trust me when I say that it’s highly worth it. In particular summoning an army of mini Sonics does a lot of damage during boss battles.

The graphics are really great. The game feels like its in true HD the whole time and the character models are on point. It’s one of the clearest games I’ve played in some time. I would say the retro art style actually does a lot to support the game’s graphics there since there is less to load up and it can all be processed really quickly. The soundtrack is less memorable though as there are no real standout tracks here. You’ll forget them as soon as they have ended which is definitely not ideal. I suppose it’s better than having a bad soundtrack though.

The actual story is fairly short so you should beat it in 4-5 hours or so. There is some replay value though as you can play through the game again as Trip. Then there is also the journey of trying to get the Platinum trophy for this game which should also be a fairly long task at least. It doesn’t look particularly difficult but I’m betting it will add another 6-8 hours of playtime which is always cool. There is also a multiplayer mode here and while I didn’t get to try it yet, it looks like they really did put a good amount of effort into i.

If you’ve enjoyed the previous Sonic 2D games then you will enjoy this one. It’s really as simple as that. That said, it just feels like the devs could have pushed this a lot harder. Give us more true cutscenes during the story, incorporate more characters, and also just make the game longer. I wouldn’t blame someone for waiting until there is a price drop to pick this one up because it really is over in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t feel like the $60 experience even if it is polished. Also for all the marketing about Fang returning he pretty much played 0 role in this game. There wasn’t much point to his inclusion particularly as he doesn’t get a 1 on 1 boss fight where you have to deal with his gun. He’s always in a mech for some reason but I suppose Sonic The Fighters spoiled me on that one.

Overall, Sonic Superstars is definitely a fun game. The experience doesn’t last as long as you’d like but the technical elements are really up to par. The game looks really great and while the soundtrack isn’t the best, you’ll still enjoy the tunes while you play through the game. It’s why I would say this embodies what it means to be a very good game. It’s not great or anything but there’s never a moment where you’re wishing that it would be over already.

Overall 7/10