Suggested by Destroyer Genbu is a decently strong demon with rock type abilities but this isn’t a great matchup for him. Manda II is very durable and so he can endure those attacks for quite a while. Meanwhile Genbu has nothing else up his arsenal so after getting hit by the rocks for a little while Manda II will eventually land a finishin gblow and that will be it. Genbu doesn’t really have a chance here. Manda II wins.
Suggested by Destroyer Raymond Barone isn’t really much of a fighter but that is doubly true for George. George started balding early and never hit up the gym so he lost his confidence and any chance at becoming a fighter. Meanwhile Raymond is probably about average in terms of fighting ability which should be enough here. Just throw in a few punches and he is good to go. George won’t be stopping him. Raymond Barone wins.
Suggested by Sonic It’s time for a battle of fire types! Both of these guys are strong but Incineroar is completely out of his league. These two are both fighters so you may think that’s a bit harsh but the problem is that Blaziken’s technique is so many times better than Incineroar’s. He should be able to kick the life out of this guy with minimal effort and dodge all counter attacks. Blaziken is still one of the all time strongest fire type Pokemon and it shows. Blaziken wins.
Suggested by Sonic The Flash may know himself as the fastest man alive but that’s not going to cut it against Quickman. Quickman has been shown to even out speed Megaman on occasion and his speed is absolutely crazy. While the Flash is getting tagged by everyone out there, Quickman actually uses his speed very well in combat. With his sharp arm blades he only really needs a single good hit to take the scarlet speedster out. And well…knowing Quickman’s speed I see that being rather easy! Quickman wins.
Suggested by Sonic Atlas is a lot faster than Falzar but this is a rare time where the speed won’t be enough. Falzar can easily tank Atlas’ attacks for quite a while here and then counter with a devastating blow. Atlas would need to be attacking for a very long time in order to land a decisive victory and the problem for him is that he just doesn’t have that kind of time. Meanwhile Falzar only needs to land the occasional strike and he will be on top. Falzar wins.
Suggested by Sonic Griffith is a powerful fighter and someone who has given Guts a lot of grief over the years but he’s not touching Yuno in this fight. Yuno’s mastery over wind as well as his incredible speed means that he will be dictating the terms of the battle right from the start. Griffith is really going to struggle to endure these shots because of how much power is behind them. He’s no ready to face someone like this. Yuno wins.
Suggested by Sonic Kurama is a pretty powerful demon with a long range weapon. Fox has his blasters but the shots aren’t going to connect. While Fox is fast in his own right, he’s not quite on the same level as Kurama. Throw in Kurama’s accelerated healing and that widens the gap even more. Fox is not someone to be underestimated but ultimately he doesn’t really stand a chance here. Kurama wins.
With a title like the Black Scorpion you’re expecting massive hype and lots of creature action right? Well, it takes a very long time for the big scorpion to show up. Once it does we do get a good amount of screen time but for that whole first half you’re just wondering what happened. Surely they wouldn’t be keeping the main draw of the film on the shelf for so long right? Well sometimes that’s just how it happens I guess. It’s still a decently good movie but one with relatively low replay value and loses to the average creature feature.
The movie starts off with a pair of archeologists driving around when they notice an abandoned police car. Eventually they find an empty house with a baby in it and a corpse nearby. There was no blood around though so how was this guy taken down so easily? His gun had also already fired all of its bullets. Well no time to worry about that, the characters do more investigating and sleuthing until it turns out that there are Giant Scorpions running around! They’re murdering everybody and now the heroes have to think of a way to stop them before the entire town is destroyed. First the Scorpions will destroy the town….and then the world!
Lets talk about some of the positives here first. I do think that the writing is pretty solid. It’s not amazing or anything but it makes logical sense and the script should keep you decently engaged. I like how serious everyone is about the giant scorpion threat and that the government actually gets to look decent. The two leads get rather cocky after blowing up some of the Scorpions so that they basically don’t want to hear about there being any survivors. The government puts a stop to that real quick and it’s rare to see them pull rank like that.
Additionally this allows the film to effectively have two climaxes. You have the first one in the caves and then the second one on the go when the Scorpion returns to cause vengeance. So that was pretty solid because you don’t see that happening very often. In a way the humans got super lucky here because they fumbled the bag on several occasions (Letting all the poison get destroyed, missing the target with their thunder arrow, etc) but the giant scorpion ended up destroying most of the competition on its own so that bought some time. If the Scorpions had actually teamed up with each other and with the other giant creatures then it would have been over. You could have packed humanity up, they would have stood no chance.
Even that idea (One monster destroying the rest) is one that you don’t see very often. So you’ve got some decent ideas here but the film doesn’t really make them as exciting as they could be. The giant monster fights were fairly decent though, we had some classic wrestling and all of that. All of the creatures were absolutely doomed against the big scorpion though. They never stood a chance! I felt bad for the big one in the end though, of course you know the humans have to win eventually but it was so close!
As for the main characters, well they were just pretty annoying the whole time. As I mentioned they got too cocky about beating all of the scorpions to the point where they didn’t even wanna take the government serious about their chances of being alive. Then near the beginning of the film when a lady falls off her horse it felt like they immediately jumped into a lot of flirting. She seriously had to say she was fine like 5 times before they finally got the hint and backed off. Of course we still get the obligatory romance after that which was super rushed and unneeded. These films don’t always need a romance!
Of course the worst character is the local kid who was trying to help. He disobeys orders numerous times and stows away in their vehicles more than once. In each instance he just ends up causing a lot of trouble. The worst part about him is really that he has no remorse the whole time. The guy will try to explain why what he did was wrong and the kid will just say again that he was trying to help. No apology, no “I’ll never do it again” or anything like that. So you know the kid absolutely would do this again and no lesson was learned.
Then even the local cops don’t look great here as we have a super unnecessary character death near the end. The main captain misses his shot so he goes to pick up the thunder arrow but everyone forgot to turn the charge off so he gets bumped off. The main characters then fire the second shot but that has to be one of the worst ways to go out. Because he should not have died in the first place. I’d be majorly peeved if that happened to me. Also it’s not like it was an easy shot at all, you have to aim for the weak spot by the creature’s throat while it’s running around and beating up the army. Also , props to the guys in the tanks getting up close and knowing they will be destroyed but just buying time for the heroes. That can’t have been an easy mission.
Overall, The Black Scorpion is a film where the humans tend to be annoying so you’re really going to have to be in it for the creatures. The Scorpions make for imposing villains with their huge tails and long reach. Definitely not a foe that you will want to take lightly and the movie shows just how dangerous they can be. They’re not super fast but when characters trip and don’t start their engines in time it means that the body count here will still be fairly large. I’d be down for a sequel to this some day. There’s always room for more creature feature films but I hope the humans can be a bit more likable here. Honestly you don’t have to do a lot to be a decent human in a film like this. Just make some decent plans and fight a bit, that’s all you gotta do. Also the creature should appear way earlier, the dead time before it was just too long. I mean it’s an old film so at least the dialogue is good enough where you can still get through the first half just fine but it’s very noticeable considering the film’s name when the title creature takes so long to appear.
Overall 6/10
This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative
Commando is one of those classic thrillers where the main character takes names and blasts everybody. It’s not trying to really be much more than that and yet everything is executed at a consistently high level. The plot is also very different from what you would expect going in and it really nailed this subversion. Seriously the main character actually did feel like a top tier pro and handled things the right way. This is absolutely the guy you want covering your back when the going gets tough.
The movie starts off with a string of murders and it turns out that they were all ex teammates of Matrix. Matrix has retired a while back and is trying to live a normal life taking care of his daughter. So he doesn’t want to get back into the game but the option is taken out of his hands when his home is attacked. He fights off most of the invaders but they still kidnap his daughter so Matrix is told he will have to go murder the president of a different country to get his daughter back. Matrix agrees and comes up with a clever plan. Basically the villains have 3 different cushions here to prevent betrayal. They have two guys walking with Matrix to the airport. One will ride in the plane with him while a second watches the plane take off. If the boss doesn’t hear from both of them then the daughter dies. So Matrix waits until the plane takes off and murders the guy in the plane, then he jumps off. He now has until the plane lands to rescue his daughter.
I love this for a bunch of reasons. The first is that there really isn’t much point in completing the mission because it’s clear that his daughter would be murdered regardless. These villains aren’t the kind that have any kind of honor code and so their word is completely worthless. The toughest part of course is figuring out a way around this setup which actually isn’t easy. I’ll give the villains a lot of credit there, it’s a fairly foolproof plan that would have succeeded if not for a good degree of luck on Matrix’s side. If the second villain had stayed watching the plane for another minute then this plan wouldn’t have worked. Additionally it counts on murdering the first thug without anyone noticing.
The second reason I like this mission is it’s a very clever way of having a thriller movie with a very strict time limit right from the start. It adds a little extra tension without a doubt and in general makes the film a bit more serious. I still wouldn’t call it dark or anything but it adds an edge where otherwise you’d just be grinning the whole time. Both sides know that the villains are not bluffing about bumping off his daughter after all so Matrix is really against the clock here.
Now granted, I do think Matrix’s plan was a bit roundabout. For example when he assumes control of a girl’s car and tells her to follow one of the villains…why not take that villain out earlier? Just beat him up and I’m positive he would give away the location of his boss or the meeting place real quick. That villain seemed as whiny as they come and would have generally low resistance to any kind of threats that Matrix would make. I feel like there just wasn’t a great reason for all of this running around with the guy especially since it ended up leading to a whole lot of wasted time that he would have liked to have in the end.
Matrix is still a great character though. I can’t demand perfection at every turn after all since he’s in a super stressful situation where things keep on changing. He takes a lot of opponents down and proves himself to be an excellent fighter both in hand to hand combat and with a firearm. The way he handled the first villain sitting on a chair who was trying to set up the blackmailing arrangement was great. “That’s how the situation is right?” “Wrong!” That’s not the exact wording but yeah it was great. The only main mistake I’d say was when Matrix got the civilian Cindy involved.
I didn’t think that whole part was necessary. The plan he gave her to basically seduce one of the villains to stall for time wasn’t a good one and it goes back to my earlier point how this roundabout strategy actually just wasted a lot of time. You can even see why Cindy sold him out because Matrix did seem like a villain from her POV. She just ended up being annoying because then she was quickly switching sides later on and hiding the facts. In general I didn’t like her but I will acknowledge that Matrix messed up during that whole bit.
As one of the main villains Bennett makes for an imposing guy. The cracks in his confidence show early but what I like is that he is at least on Matrix’s level. The guy can fight and actually fight rather well. He’s not like one of those villains who’s all bluster and no action. So I give him credit there and the personal connection between them made the animosity even more intense. I’ll take him over Arius as the more interesting villain any day. I’ll actually remember this guy after all.
The whole climax is a lot of fun as Matrix goes in blasting and really takes a lot of names. Of course there is definitely a whole lot of plot armor here, perhaps even more than you would be expecting. That said, it’s still just a lot of fun seeing him take out the equivalent of a whole army. He’s not taking any prisoners here which makes a whole lot of sense both based on his occupation and of course the stakes of trying to save his daughter. There’s no time to hold back and if anything it would probably place his own life in jeopardy if he was to try.
There was also a really good song that played near the end of the film. I’ll need to try and find it at some point because it really fit in well with the scene and was a very solid action film. I felt like the film really went in hard on all the technical aspects. The writing was great with a lot of really witty one liners as well. The pacing was on point and the character cast was solid. There’s a lot of replay value here and it’s the kind of film you could easily watch multiple times just because of the sheer fun factor here. The film’s a bit cheesy and heavy handed but completely embraces this and just makes effective use of that tone.
Overall, Commando is a pretty fun action film that you could really watch many times. It’s just over the top enough to be super entertaining without going too far and just being like a parody. I definitely didn’t have any big complaints with it. It’s really one of those films where you can feel its age but in a good way. The music is really on point here, the fights have a lot of hype and the writing is really smart. It may be a film that in some ways doesn’t stand out as being some kind of unforgettable experience but at the same time you’ll be grinning the whole time. Just when you think you’ve seen most of the films like this one, now you’ve got another title to keep you busy. If you want a thriller that balances the serious tone with some light hearted moments then this is the one for you.
Overall 8/10
I finally completed the whole post game in Knighthood! Ultra Karnage has been defeated. In the end that means I conquered the whole story content in 6 months since I only started in February. Not to toot my own horn but in general most players don’t even come close to that in over a year and to date it is a point that has stumped many players in the game. I’ve been smashing all kinds of free to play records on this one! (Pay to win folks have beaten him quicker but that’s different) Feels good!
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