Guyver vs Chewbacca


Guyver1
Chewbacca_TLJ
Suggested by Anonymous Chewy is a tough guy who has some decent super strength and durability. Unfortunately for him it isn’t at a high enough level where it really matters here. Guyver is easily stronger than Chewbacca and has a lot of abilities up his sleeve to make this match even easier. A casual energy blast would probably be enough to end things here. Chewbacca has no real defense against that. Guyver wins.

King Cold vs Human Torch




Suggested by Destroyer Human Torch is a pretty tough fighter to stop since he can just melt whatever opposition in his way. That being said, I’m not sure if he really has what it takes to stop King Cold. King Cold can destroy planets in the blink of an eye. His speed is absolutely insane and Human Torch won’t even be able to see him go by. The gap in their abilities is tremendous and there isn’t really anything that Johnny can even do about that. King Cold wins.

Sailor Chibi Chibi vs Togepi


sailor_moon_sailor_stars_episode_187_sailor_chibi_chibi_moon
Misty_Togepi_Metronome
Suggested by Sonic Togepi has been in his share of fights and has grown quite a bit stronger over the years. He isn’t the kid that he once was. Meanwhile Chibi Chibi is usually a kid and her powers never got to fully awaken on screen. Even in her future form where her powers are absolute since she is basically Queen Serenity level she never got to do anything. As a result, she is at a big disadvantage from the start here and simply won’t be able to keep up with Togepi’s speedy attacks. It’s Togepi’s battle to lose. Togepi wins.

The Shallows Review


It’s time to look at a pretty recent shark film. These films are super risky in general because sharks lead to animal violence which is something that you typically want to avoid in a film. They also tend to take place at a beach which results in a considerable amount of fanservice. It’s a losing combo if I ever saw one and this film was not able to escape. If anything it might be the weakest shark film.

The movie starts out with a teenage girl heading off to a beach by her lonesome. The original plan was to go with her friend but that plan tanked when the friend was a no show. Now Nancy will have to try and have fun alone. It’s going well for her at first until it gets late and the Shark shows up. She manages to escape to a little rock in the middle of the ocean but with the tide coming in soon it won’t be high enough to defend herself for long. If anything it already isn’t and the shark is just ignoring her for some reason except for when she goes back in the water. Nancy will have to think of something because if she doesn’t get back to land to warn the others, who will?

Well, let’s talk about why this film had issues. We’ll get the beach locale out of the way first. The film makes sure to remind you of its target audience by zooming in on the main character quite a lot. The film is certainly not being subtle here and you should always be able to make a good film without fanservice. All it does is distract from the plot which is typically what you do when the plot is no good.

Then the film can also be rather violent. A large chunk of the film is just the main character yelling and being in a lot of pain. The scenes are way too dragged out and most of them could and should have been cut. It also takes away from her battle with the shark if she is barely even strong enough to stand. Finally we have also got the animal violence angle. A Whale dies early on which was pretty tragic. Then we have the main character trying to hitch a ride on his body, scratching him up in the process. Throw in a bird who broke his wing (Going for some obvious connections here with the lead’s injury but the plot was still unnecessary. The bird lived at least which stopped this from being a 0) and the actual shark and you’ve got yourself a proper train wreck.

Unfortunately the main character was also not particularly likable. She comes across as rather naive and makes mountains out of molehills. Nancy’s conversation with her father at the beginning of the film just seems rather odd with the lead trying to pick a fight. It’s hard to judge with no context at that point but since the film didn’t want to go into it all that much I don’t have a real reason to root for the heroine there. Then she also isn’t particularly nice to the bird that is sharing the rock with her. She flicks water at him and also doesn’t offer him any food when given the chance. If anything it seems like she only helps him at the end because she had gotten rather bored. Not the most charitable reason to help. If she was a better character that could have at least helped the film a little bit, as it is there wasn’t much to help it’s case.

As far as special effects go I think the film did a pretty interesting job with how it showed the phone calls and various objects as if they were virtual reality. It’s a pretty strong effect that stands out so hopefully you like it since it will be impossible to avoid. I think it was a good effect and also gave the film something unique to do beyond the usual. The music also isn’t bad. You probably won’t remember it by the end but it fit well with the scenes.

Overall, The Shallows is definitely one of those films that you should avoid. That being said, it does play out just as you would expect it to. This means that you can effectively tell if you will like the film or not from the trailer. I’d certainly say that it is reason enough to skip the film. Shark films just aren’t particularly ready to make a positive name for themselves and until they take place in space with robot sharks I doubt they will be anytime soon.

Overall 1/10

The Masque of the Red Death Review


It’s time to look at an old horror film where Vincent Price must take the stage once more. I’ve already seen this story adapted once and it got the flat 0. That wasn’t the most reassuring moment out there but maybe this one would be better? Unfortunately that is not the case and I’m afraid that we have yet another flop here. This movie just didn’t have the skills to pull off the win.

The film starts with a village being raided by the evil prince and most of the villagers are murdered. Only 3 are spared, a girl, her father, and her betrothed. The prince decides he will break the girl’s spirit so that he can take his ultimate victory. However, the villagers did speak of a day of deliverance so the prince has to watch out.

This film deals with a lot of satanic themes as the villains worship the demon. It’s about as hard to watch as you’d expect since most of the characters are devil worshipers. That makes it rather hard to root for anyone or to stay invested in the film. It’s all about showing how evil everyone is and there isn’t really much of a point that the film was driving towards either. It’s just a lot of scenes of nothing and dreams which last forever.

This film also manages to squeeze in some animal violence just so it could tick that box as a bird quickly gets destroyed by another. It’s yet another moment where the film keeps on trying to lower the bar it has set for itself. If there was some good writing or pacing then the film could at least try to survive some of this but nothing of the sort is to be found here so the film was doomed.

Unfortunately the main character is also a disgrace here as she ultimately ends up forsaking her faith under pressure. It’s another shame that this movie throws in to undermine her character arc and to try to say that everyone would falter at some point. Yeah in this world everyone turned out to be evil so the lead had no positive influences to turn to, but I don’t see why she had to quickly throw her soul away at that point.

The brother and the father also forgot their own character arcs as they swore not to fight each other and then went up against each other in a poison dagger match. Clearly one of them would die in such a match so they were destroying each other even if it was indirectly. These are the kinds of character consistency you would expect from this film.

By the time the Red Death shows up to finish everyone off you’re just waiting for the film to end. Could he have taken any longer? The villagers should definitely be upset since the guy didn’t ultimately help them much. I suppose it also shows why you shouldn’t just trust strangers with your life after meeting them once.

The film could also be rather violent at times. The dream sequence certainly comes to mind where someone gets axes quite a bit. The film just can’t help itself it would seem. When everyone gets infected by the red death they also begin to look quite grotesque which isn’t helping the film’s case either. At least we don’t see characters chopped up like in other horror films coming soon, but this film was just desperate to get everything wrong.

If this film could have attempted to show any class it would have at least made the main heroine a little more knowledgeable so she could talk back to the prince. He likes to bring up the same old talking points like if God exists then why is everyone so evil or why he won’t personally show up to save them. Each time the main character starts to stammer or just says that she doesn’t know. Those are basically the worst answers you can give to such questions. She could have responded with the basic concept of free choice and that’s why people can still be evil or how tribulations and trials make you stronger. Instead she basically gives up, just like the film gave up on having a good story.

Overall, The Masque is the Red Death is definitely a film that I would recommend avoiding. There are no redeemable qualities to be found here. If it did anything right it is that the film isn’t super long even if it does drag for quite a while. There’s no point in watching the villain’s worship satan and the scenes are way too long. It’s why films that are all about showing how depraved humanity is will always be destined to fail. There’s just no entertainment value there. If you want to go watch a good horror film, just stick to the comedic ones.

Overall 0/10

Gohan vs Yoh




Yoh is definitely a powerful shaman, but he still isn’t anywhere close to being ready to deal with a Saiyan like Gohan. Gohan has his Mystic form which makes him effectively invincible against almost all fighters. I don’t think Yoh will really have any answer to this form. The kid’s attacks are strong, but none of them are fast enough to land and Gohan’s attacks are also considerably more powerful. A Kamehameha wave should end this. Gohan wins.

Aizen vs Jiren



dragon-ball-super-gokus-nemesis-is-named-jiren
Aizen may have just won a match against Obito, but he has met his match here. Jiren is a being of unstoppable power. There are few who can even hope to challenge him. Aizen’s illusions won’t be doing much here and his attacks probably won’t even be strong enough to deal any damage. Jiren is simply in a different league here and probably won’t have to get serious. He’s likely going to be the favorite going into the top 8 of this tournament, but we’ll see if he can keep up the momentum. Jiren wins.

Cell vs Simon (Gurren Lagann)




Both of these competitors couldn’t wait to start the second round, but this is one time where size won’t be enough. Simon is one of the strongest non DBZ characters out there. He can destroy most opponents simply by moving since it would be enough to destroy a planet. That won’t be enough against a foe who can destroy solar systems though. Cell’s power is incredibly scary with how many options he has and his speed is also crazy. Simon won’t be hitting this guy and even if he could graze him it wouldn’t do much thanks to Cell’s healing factor. Cell wins.

Aizen vs Obito


Obito_Juubi_Jinchuriki
Aizen_stage_4
Looks like it is time for a battle of heavy weights here. Neither of these fighters ended up being the final boss of their respective series but they were pretty close. Both fighters have some good regenerative abilities and their physical abilities are off the charts. The reason why Aizen wins this round is mainly thanks to his Xenomorph form that he got from the Hogyoku. In his final mode I just don’t see Obito being quite fast enough to stop him. Both of their illusions are thrown out of the picture for this fight so it all comes down to their abilities. I think it’ll be a pretty epic fight for sure, but one where I’d put my money on Aizen. Aizen wins.

Oga Tatsumi vs Buu




Oga Tatsumi has been through his share of fights and knows how to throw a good punch. You can’t count him out of any match but Buu isn’t your average opponent. Buu can regenerate from just about any hit and his raw power was enough for him to go up against Super Saiyan 3 Goku. Oga just doesn’t have that kind of firepower and he will also be out of his league when it comes to speed as well. Better luck next time Oga, but your run is over. Buu wins.