Tag Archives: Thriller

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Review

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It’s time to look at the new Jurassic World film. The franchise has typically received low scores from me as it ranges in the 3-4 star category, but maybe this one would be different. I can’t say that I had high hopes for it to be honest since the trailers were rather worrisome with the dinosaurs getting trapped and everything. Unfortunately the movie is as bad as I feared with this part being played up a lot. As always the humans seem to have the edge on the dinosaurs which defeats the entire point of the franchise. Definitely a film that you are going to want to give a pass this time around.

The film starts off with the world wondering what to do about the dinosaurs over on the island. It’s about to explode so all of the dinosaurs will die unless the government makes a move. The lobbiests don’t care much since they can’t make a quick buck so the government decides not to intervene. This is when Mills decides to save all of the dinosaurs and calls up Claire. Claire is certainly eager to help, but what she isn’t quite as enthusiastic about is having to call up her old friend, Owen. Owen doesn’t want to help and prefers to drink a quick beer, but ultimately he decides to go along since the movie would have been over otherwise. The heroes are double crossed and all of the dinosaurs are captured. The heroes decide to plan a rescue op, but are they really ready for this?

This movie makes quite a lot of mistakes and the first one is one that I already referenced. The dinosaurs spend the whole movie being captured and humbled by the humans. They are caged up and easily defeated by sedatives. Naturally this makes sense as humans will always win thanks to their tech, but it doesn’t make for an interesting movie. After all, how can you be scared of these creatures if they are always losing? That’s one thing that the original film did better than the sequels since there wasn’t much tech at the place so the dinosaurs had control from start to finish. By putting them at the bottom of the food chain, it just doesn’t feel like a true Jurassic film.

Any scene with the humans and dinosaurs is typically brutal for this reason. There’s just way too much animal violence here for the film to have ever stood a chance. Then the film tried to play up the tragic angle by having a ton of Dinosaurs die a slow death as they realize that there is no way to escape the island. We understand their fate from the start so why do we have to watch it? Even after the main characters have gone through their tough experiences they end up making the wrong call and don’t want to help the dinosaurs. It makes you wonder why we didn’t get a better main cast.

Owen is basically the same character from the last film. He’s always ready with sarcastic comebacks, but at the end of the day he is just looking out for himself. He takes a lot of convincing to go to the island to help out Claire and even then he only seems to do it for her and not because he actually cares about the dinosaurs. He makes it abundantly clear that humans win out in the end. He has a good action scene though and makes for an amusing character. He’s not a heroic character, but I suppose he has his moments.

Then we have Claire who has done her best to help the dinosaurs. She is certainly a lot more noble than Owen. It’s just a shame that she didn’t use the last few years to workout more to prepare for another skirmish with the dinosaurs. Her romance plot with Owen is still pretty iffy as well and could have been cut out entirely. She’s not a bad character and doesn’t panic all that much anymore, but it would be nice if she could have done a little more.

Mills is the main villain and he isn’t quite as fun as the last one. He’s your classic rich villain who just likes to see the profits at the end of a long business deal. He isn’t very smart and doesn’t do a great job of covering his tracks, but since none of the other characters are that smart is tends to work out. There’s just nothing to differentiate him from the rest of the corporate villains so he will be forgotten very quickly.

Franklin is the comic relief character in the film. You do always have to question if a comic relief character is needed when the film is already part comedy, but I suppose the writers wanted to cover all of the bases. None of his jokes land and they are all ones that we have already heard. Franklin is just out of his depth here and it’s hard to see how he has lasted so long anyway. He naturally has his big moment at the end, but you won’t be able to take it seriously.

Zia is the touch character of the group and is made to be a complete contrast to Franklin. She talks back to all of the villains and constantly gives everyone attitude. She is ready to help the dinosaurs and never gets scared. The character can be a bit obnoxious like throwing out random insults for no reason, but I’ll definitely take a fearless character like that over someone like Franklin.

Then we have Maisie who comes equipped with her own subplot and a plot twist that the sequel will probably delve into. She’s a decent enough kid who is smart during some moments and less so in others. Once she found out that the villain was doing something behind her grand father’s back she should have called the cops. Of course, he should have done the same thing but made the worst move in the film as he asked the main villain to call the cops. That’s certainly never going to happen when you’re dealing with a legitimate villain. Maisie wins back some points for making the right call at the end of the film though so I’ve definitely got to give her credit there.

As far as the new dinosaur goes, the design was fairly lazy. It just doesn’t have as much personality as the big dino from the last film as it just looks like a big raptor. There’s not much to say about it and while the dinosaur is very strong, I think the T Rex probably could have beaten it. Intelligence was its most potent weapon and that won’t help much when you’re being overwhelmed in a fight. Blue was a loyal dinosaur as always and looked pretty good. It’s just a shame that everyone is always after it and Owen isn’t strong enough to protect her. This is why Blue certainly made the right choice in the end.

The ending of the film is decent as we finally may get to spread things out a bit. Hopefully it doesn’t just lead to the cops shooting dinosaurs all around though as we get to a Transformers situation where the humans have once again gained the upper hand. Hopefully we get to see the water dinosaur again as it keeps on getting quick cameos but then the film is afraid to show it any longer. I get that the dinosaur is OP, but I would still like to see him be featured more. Due to the nature of Dinosaur films though, it’s unlikely that we will ever see a Jurassic World film that is actually good. At most we get glimpses of what it could be like with these two films when the dinosaurs aren’t around. It turns into a bit of a cheesy comedy with less than amazing characters, but at least it’s an enjoyable film. As soon as the dinosaurs come in they bring with them a whole slew of negatives that outweigh the positives.

The writing certainly isn’t good which goes without saying. Nobody knows how to act around dinosaurs and the characters are so busy trying to be funny that they don’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation. The film even throws in some crude humor in an attempt to be funny, but like everything else this film failed at that as well. Also, you may not want to bother sticking around for the after credits scene as it’s a little pointless since we already get the general idea of it from the normal ending. I was hoping for something with a little more impact like another super dinosaur running around. That would have been a little more exciting. At the very least, I would have liked to have seen NYC get involved.

Overall, Fallen Kingdom is possibly the weakest Jurassic Park film. Currently I believe I have the weakest one as either being the first or the 2nd. It’s a tough call though as those 2 and Jurassic World all got 3s if I recall correctly. This one just combines the weakest elements from the various films and pulls them all together. It brings back the annoying human characters from the last one, throws in the goat scene from the first film, and also brings in the government involvement from one of the other films, but adds it on quite a bit more than any of the others. It’s just a very mean film and one with no replay value. If you like Dinosaurs then this is a film that you will want to skip. I’d sooner recommend checking out an iconic Godzilla film like Final Wars. That movie will still give you big creature fights without any of the extra stuff.

Overall 2/10

Lady in a Cage Review

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It’s time to look at a pretty mean spirited film where you will wonder how it made it through to production. It doesn’t do anything right and so you can use this as a counter to the debate that modern films aren’t as good as the old ones. Just mention this film and fans of the classic era will freeze for an instant before telling you that this one can’t be counted.

The film is about an old lady who has trouble walking. She gets in her indoor elevator which connects two floors but then gets stuck when the power goes out. That’s when some crooks break in to wreck the place and the lady realizes that the elevator may not have been such a good idea.

That’s the general plot which is rather small but the film tries unsuccessfully to stretch this out for the full duration. As such the film’s pacing is incredibly slow and overstays its welcome from start to finish. The writers clearly had no idea what they were doing and the director was likely drunk with how often the camera angles switch. There was no focus in the film and if the script had been turned into an essay it likely would have gotten an F.

If you’re wondering what the point of the film was, it was a weak attempt to try and show that all humans are fundamentally evil. It’s just done in such an over the top and artificial way that you’ll be left wondering why fanfics are written better. The film goes out of its way to step on as many land mines as possible like throwing in animal violence for no possible reason. It’s like the film was just blindly throwing darts to add in filler scenes to pad out the time. Make no mistake, we get a bunch of filler scenes here.

The film is fairly violent and gritty throughout. It likes showing how the people are ignoring the lady’s plight over and over much like a comedian who has to repeat the same joke over and over to try and get a laugh. The repetition is astounding and if you cut out the fluff you could effectively adapt this plot in half the time. As to why you would ever want to adapt this plot, that’s another question entirely.

Now what could have saved this film? Well, first you throw out the script. Next you add in the fact that the character is in a mansion in the middle of nowhere to add some actual credibility to why nobody checks the alarm. Add some extra floors so the elevator doesn’t seem pointless and you’ve already got a more intelligent film. It would probably still be pretty terrible with this plot though so add some robots and an alien invasion story to the mix and then maybe this film will show some promise.

I do miss the old antique stores though where you would go to a shop and trade things in for big bucks. Now we have Amazon and EBay which are more effective but considerably less personal. You don’t get to have the cash in your hand right away unlike in this scenario. Honestly I probably wouldn’t end up trying it out even if it was still here but it would be an interesting place nonetheless.

Overall, This was a terrible film. As one critic said “The picture should be burned,” It only exists to try and say how warped society is but you could just watch the news for that. This movie fails as a film and it fails as entertainment. The only way to win against this film is simply not to watch it. Fortunately the film lets you know how terrible it is right away from an early scene so you can mentally check out at that point. Of course your best tactic is still to pop in something with quality instead like a classic episode of Dragon Ball Z. Nothing beats an episode of seeing two characters power up to put everything into perspective.

Overall 0/10

Sherlock Holmes: The House of Fear Review

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Sherlock Holmes and his trusty pal Watson are back to solve another tough case. The films have really been consistent with how great they all are and this is no exception. In fact, I dare say that the House of Fear is up there as one of the best Sherlock Holmes films to date. The setting is great and the mystery is a classic. You certainly won’t be able to not get enthusiastic about the case by the end.

It starts off with a group of rich people meeting up at an old house. They are having a toast when one of them dies. Nobody had taken it seriously when a letter arrived saying that one of them would perish, but they have to face the music now. A second letter arrives which leads to another death. They are forced to call in Sherlock Holmes. Some of the men are happy about this while others are not. Either way Holmes isn’t here to make friends so he prepares to blow this case wide open and find out who the murderer is before it’s too late. He better hurry though since the culprit isn’t done with this group yet.

This is classic Holmes in every which way. The setting of a haunted house is perfect for a mystery like this one and it even uses the classic premise of everyone getting bumped off one by one. That’s always been a horror tactic that works quite well if you ask me. Throwing in Holmes adds an extra wrinkle as the villains can’t take it too easy. The suspects are also solid as there are quite a few of them and they all have distinctive character. First there is the surgeon who takes everything in stride and really enjoys reading about murder. Perhaps he wants to finally put some of this into practice. Then we have the bubbly chairman who is always happy. The guy is thrilled to have Holmes on board which is always a red flag. There is also the tough guy of the group who keeps coming close to death. Why is the murderer failing so often when it comes to him? There are quite a few suspects on the table here so watch them all carefully. You’ve also got suspects outside the house like a Sailor who likes hanging around the area. The guy seems a little suspect and one of the victims did perish thanks to a knot that is usually used by sea men. There’s also the maid who calmly delivers the letters each night despite the fact that they always result in fatalities.

Fortunately Sherlock Holmes has yet to meet the case that is too difficult for him. This one does manage to keep him in the dark for most of it though. In fact, you could argue that this is one of the few times where Holmes really didn’t crack the case and the only reason the day was saved at the end was thanks to Watson. Perhaps Sherlock’s overconfidence actually got the best of him for once. Still, he definitely looks really good in this film. Certainly the detective that you want to have in your corner as he considers all of the angles.

Watson is a great sidekick to have as always. His habit of muttering under his breath never gets old and you do have to like his confidence. While Holmes may best him most of the time, it never deters Watson. He also gets to use his gun a little more than usual here as he engages in a battle against multiple hostiles. Watson probably has the funniest scenes of each Holmes film so the franchise just wouldn’t be the same without him.

Lestrade also gets to show up and he is as skeptical of Holmes as he always is. The guy just won’t cut him a break even though Holmes has proved time and time again that he always tends to be right in the end. I wonder why the Police Chief seems to have such a grudge against him. I suppose it’s just a competitive sort of thing as Lestrade wants to be right for a change, but that time doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen anytime soon.

The ending to the film is pretty satisfying and also rather unexpected so that was a nice bonus. It may be a bit of a stretch, but honestly I don’t remember enough of the details pertaining to what would make this a stretch that I can debate the point. It’s something I’d be on the lookout for in a re watch, but thrillers are best to watch on the 1st run so I’d want my memory to get a lot fainter by that point.

The writing is unquestionably excellent. The mystery holds up well and there are a good amount of red herrings without overdoing it completely. For every red herring there is still a real hint and with the body count continuing to rise you never lose the sense of tension that you want the film to continue with. The film’s pacing is also pretty tight. It seems a little longer than most of the other Holmes films, but that may be because of how much it crams into the mystery. There is a lot to digest here, that’s for sure.

Overall, The House of Fear lives up to its name. The heroes even have to brave the elements at one point since this haunted house tends to lock its doors at the worst possible times. There’s never a dull moment in this film and I’d highly recommend checking it out. It has a good blend of suspense and humor. Two genres that are typically hard to blend together but this film shows how smoothly it can be done. I don’t want to say that this is the best Holmes film yet as that’s a bold claim, but I dare say that it is certainly top 3. It’ll be tough for any future film to surpass this one, but with this series there is always a chance.

Overall 8/10

The Mysterians Review

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It’s time to look at a really old school Sci-Fi film. This one came out back in the Godzilla days during the late 50s. It’s even made by some of the same people from that title so you could be sure to expect quality confirmed. It plays out just like you would expect it to and is certainly an entertaining movie. You’re sure to enjoy it as the film is quite fast paced with a lot of fun dialogue.

The plot of the movie starts off by showing us some people not getting along too well at a parade/event of sorts. We don’t have time for this drama though as a large alien kaiju (Moguera) shows up to decimate the planet. The government manages to destroy this Kaiju as expected, but then aliens show up and say that this is the first of many. Unless we surrender land and people to them they will destroy us all. Naturally Earth won’t go down without a fight so we gather our tanks and planes as we prep a counter attack. It’s hype time!

I fortunately saw the dub version. The film is definitely played off as a comedy here as the actors have a lot of fun voicing the characters. You can tell that these guys had a lot of passion in the project as they would say things very directly. It was like a google translate version of the script. Everyone sounds a little off and naturally none of the voices seem to match, but that’s part of the film’s charm. It should have you cackling and chuckling throughout the entire movie. Even aside from the dub the movie plays out like a comedy at times with the monster getting destroyed simply by falling while on a bridge and then by trying to rise from the ground only for the rocket to squash him. It’s easy to poke fun at the robot’s design as well, but he tries very hard. I did like the robot and actually felt bad for him since the humans were simply too persistent. Moguera didn’t ask for this!

One issue with the film though is that they made the aliens a little too strong. As a result, it’s hard to believe it when thy actually lose to the humans at the end. They were shown to be able to spy on the humans and listen in to their conversations at will. How did they not notice when the humans built two death ray weapons (In the span of a day) and when they were transporting it over. Even once it arrived it should have been easy to shoot it down but they didn’t until it was too late. Apparently they can create flash floods at the push of a button so why didn’t they do so right away? At times you will just be wondering what they were thinking. I guess we have to assume that the aliens weren’t very smart and honestly that is probably a good bet, but even so they should have won this round.

The humans aren’t very interesting in comparison. The two heroines definitely look really bad here as they allow the villains to kidnap them without even yelling in protest. They don’t struggle and simply faint at the sight of the villains. It’s not as if the bad guys were grotesque aliens either. They looked like normal aliens in Power Ranger esque costumes. Nothing scary about that and the heroines could have easily escaped. Allowing themselves to be held hostage like that wasn’t very smart and it also made them a liability to the army. Well….lets be honest, the army barely cared and didn’t stop their assault, but that’s not the point. The heroines couldn’t really redeem themselves from that.

The main guy wasn’t bad though. At least he was smart enough to rush into the enemy base to blast them. The base shouldn’t have been so easy to breech but maybe the bad guys were so intent on building high tech weapons that they skipped on the basics like installing cameras and the like. If so that was a big mistake. I definitely didn’t like the traitor though. He acts as if he was tricked by the end, but I definitely don’t buy that. He simply wanted to make sure that he was on the winning side in the end and that’s not a great reason to switch sides. You can’t just betray the Human race and then decide to come back. It’s simply way too late by that point and there wasn’t much that the character could do to come back from that. It was simply all over for him by then.

I certainly enjoyed the government here though. Sure, they may not have had much of a plan at first as they just kept grabbing more tanks to fire at the enemy, but at least they didn’t even entertain the thought of co-operating with the aliens. The Aliens shot first so of course we have to respond in kind. America also looked really good here as they showed up and started taking names. We even came up with the plans for the death ray or at the very least the guy who brought the plans in certainly sounded American. Again, I have to give the dub credit for the voices here. They were hilarious throughout and show what a difference a good dub can do. It just makes the film flow that much better.

Overall, There really aren’t any weaknesses to point out in the film. The Mysterians manages to be solid all the way through. It’s a fun film with good pacing that really flies by. Moguera looks good while he is around. The design may not be scary or anything like that, but I’m always up for a giant robot to appear as it just makes the film more exciting. The ending leaves a little room for a sequel, but at this point we know that the aliens are doomed and they likely wouldn’t be able to even put up as good of a fight in a 2nd bout. They showed us their limits while we can reverse engineer their tech and get even better. Humanity wins once again. If you haven’t seen this film yet then I highly recommend doing so. You don’t want to miss out on the hype.

Overall 7/10

Sherlock Holmes: The Pearl of Death Review

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Sherlock Holmes has returned for another film! This is certainly one of the better ones in the series and shows that the franchise has still got a lot of energy in it. The stakes are more personal than ever as Holmes is directly responsible for the villains getting the lead for once. He will have to ask for the assistance of his longtime comrade Watson once more. Time is of the essence, but if anyone can save the world, it’s Holmes!

The film starts off with a villain attempting to get a legendary pearl through the cops by giving it to an innocent old man. Fortunately, that old man was Holmes in yet another one of his disguises. He takes the pearl to the cop, but isn’t too pleased with how they have secured it. He demonstrates how easy the alarm system is to deactivate, but in the meantime the villain makes sure to nab the unprotected pearl. Holmes is to blame for the security features no working as intended, but this is no time to feel sorry for himself. Holmes has to quickly figure out where the pearl is now before it is too late!

Holmes gives the main villain (Conover) a lot of hype throughout, but I certainly wouldn’t say that he is on the same level as Moriarty or the female villain who bested him a few titles ago. Still, he does seem to be pretty intelligent so the guy isn’t your average crook either. Underestimate him at your own peril. Conover doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to get his hands dirty so usually he relies on underlings to do it for him. He does have some swet moves though like when he qwuickly disarmed Holmes at the end. He adapts very quickly and probably just needs to work on his reaction times a little bit. His right hand man the Creeper gets a much bigger role, but isn’t quite as interesting> The Creeper likes the main heroine, but that’s his only real character. It seems like the guy can’t really speak anymore so the super strength came at a very heavy price.

Holmes himself is very solid as always. He probably should have found a way to secure the pearl before doing his experiment, but at that point it would have spoiled his chance to make the point that he was trying to present under the guise of spilling a bunch of fruit. He also figured that the guards would at least be watching the jar a little right? Holmes makes sure to make a comeback from there though and the only thing left for him to fear was his own bad habit of gloating at the end. It seems like this has happened several times throughout the film series where Holmes will get the villain at gun point, but starts to gloat for so long that the villain just yanks the gun away. Holmes really needs to watch that as it could be the end of him.

Watson is also a loyal sidekick as always. He does come close to ending Holmes’ life by mistake though when he delivers a book from the main villain. Holmes very nearly fell for it, but luckily Watson was able to drop enough clues to help him skate by. He may not be the smartest chap, but Watson always tries to protect Holmes from the outside elements like the newspapers and all. He’s just a nice guy so it’s a shame that things don’t tend to swing his way.

Meanwhile Lestrade probably has his worst appearance in a while. Of course, I understand that he doesn’t really care much for Sherlock Holmes at times since he has nothing but contempt for theories. Still, Holmes has a great reputation and he has solved many cases before. Shouldn’t the cop at least believe him a little? Lestrade is so determined to be right that even when multiple people are murdered with the same method he believes that it is a coincidence. I don’t know how he can say that with a straight face. Honestly Holmes has to put up with a lot in this town. The cops even hold things from him to save face which ultimately just makes his job a lot more difficult.

It’s definitely one of his toughest cases as well. The body count feels a lot higher than usual as it takes Holmes a very long time to track down the killer at large. By the time he does only one of the people on the hit list is still alive. Better late than never I suppose right? The pacing for the film is really good and you will definitely feel the intensity all the way through. This definitely isn’t the kind of case that is all fun and games. Lives hang in the balance.

Overall, The Pearl of Death is a really great film. Every character gets something important to do and Holmes gets a lot of credit. He looks like the tactical genius that he should be portrayed as but everyone else does their best to pitch in. While Holmes is very competent, he also is shown to not be infallible which is a big part of what this movie is focused around. Some detectives do seem to be perfect like Detective Conan, but for the most part that is too much to expect out of anyone. If you are looking for a solid murder mystery then look no further. This is the film to look out for and it’s easy to jump into with no prior Holmes knowledge. The opening scene is also handled really well so the movie starts off on a high note. At most, the ending might just have the shortest Holmes speech so far which is a shame. They’re all usually so long and over the top with how cheesy they are that it’s the perfect way to end a film.

Overall 8/10

The Greatest Game Ever Played

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It’s time to look at a film based on a true story. This one is about The Greatest Game Ever Played, at least in Golf. If we’re talking ever, then it’s probably one of the 1990s Dallas Cowboys Championship games. I can see why this game is well known though as it was one of the first times an amateur was able to take on a professional in a game that went into overtime. It was definitely a very impressive showing. The film is also pretty good about not adding in too much drama and stuff once the Golf starts. It does seem to add in a bit of padding to the first half though which is the part that doesn’t work too well.

Basically Francis has always wanted to be a golfer. Unfortunately his father doesn’t like this option as it’s extremely risky and Francis may not make any money. He would then have a later start on life and that could ruin everything. Francis is okay with putting it all on the line though and after losing his first few golf games he gets ready for the US Open. It’s time to win the biggest tournament of his life, but is Francis really ready for such a feat? He will have to defeat the reigning champ from Europe as well as his counterpart from the U.S., and every other Golf player worth their salt. It won’t be easy, but Francis knows that ultimately you just have to play your own game of Golf and the rest will just sink in.

The golf visuals are pretty nice. The film does its best to make the actual golf look really exciting with how fast the balls move and everyone’s reactions the whole time. There are a bunch of cutaways and dramatic camera angles to sink it in. Some top players are able to erase the surroundings as if they held the Infinity Gauntlet and this lets them really focus. The ball makes uncanny turns to dodge obstacles and even picks up speed when it should have stopped. It may not be the most realistic game of golf out there, but it certainly makes the game more appealing.

The film didn’t always make Francis look great though. He did give his father his word that if he lost he wouldn’t pursue the game anymore and ultimately breaks that promise. He shouldn’t have agreed to such a thing in the first place even if he was under duress at the time. He was a kid at the time so I suppose I can’t be too hard on him. He does get distracted and knocked off of his game rather easily though. His partner has to constantly remind him to tune everyone out, but Francis still loses many shots as a direct result of this.

As I mentioned earlier, the first half of the film before the tournament doesn’t hold up quite as well. They try to give the older Europe champion a bit of a backstory. It’s never properly delved into, but you can get the gist of it from the images. It just feels a little forced into the story since it ultimately isn’t too relevant. Francis’ drama at the beginning also isn’t quite as interesting as the actual golf. I don’t know how much of this all happened in the real life accounts, but I suppose if it was all there then of course they would have to add it in.

I can’t say much about the ending since it’s all based on true events, but either way I thought it was handled pretty well. All in all there really wasn’t anything bad to say about the movie. At most you might not be thrilled to see just how bad and snobbish the people of England look the whole time. No one from the nobility looks even slightly good and they all just don’t seem to like the people from Jersey. It makes it very easy to root for the Americans. The American top player is a really loud guy who has a chip on his shoulder so he constantly yells at everybody. You still want to root for him over the others since at least he’s fighting for everyone. The others just want the rich to win so they can rub it in everyone’s face.

Overall, The Greatest Game Ever Played is definitely a classy film. The golf games are also the best that I’ve seen as I haven’t watched any other Golf movie at the moment. The writing is pretty solid and even the romance was handled rather well as it doesn’t eat up a ton of screen time or accelerate past realism. The characters just talked a bit and then left to their separate ways never to see each other again. It was a happy ending for all of the characters and aside from the rich nobility who were humiliated, the top players were just happy to have had a good game. At the end of the day that’s what you want. If you’re interested in this story then I definitely recommend checking it out. It’ll help you appreciate why we all take Golf so seriously.

Sherlock Holmes: The Scarlet Claw Review

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It’s time to look at another Sherlock Holmes film. This one’s definitely a pretty intense mystery with a lot of suspects and various red herrings to keep you guessing. It’ll be rather difficult to sniff out the culprit here and even if you do you may end up mixing some of the suspects around since quite a few of the characters look really similar. Still, it’s the kind of case you would expect for Holmes since only a master detective can put it all together.

He was enjoying a nice vacation over with Watson when a lady is murdered. It’s a tragic thing, but there doesn’t seem to be much of a mystery about it so the heroes prepare to go back to London. That’s when they receive a letter from the dead person before she passed asking for their assistance. Holmes officially puts himself into the case and must now find out who is using this claw to murder everyone. Surely there is some kind of explanation for it, but what can it be? You’ve got the local judge, the husband of the girl who was murdered, a maid, an old man with a shotgun, and a few other characters running around. Holmes will have to tread carefully as even the slightest miscalculation could end up costing him his life.

As always the writing and pacing for the film are on point. It’s entertaining from start to finish and the mystery should have you engaged. Sherlock Holmes always acts in a very professional manner and the cops give him his due credit. He can be a little extra sarcastic to Watson at times though. He’s not saying anything mean so don’t worry about that, but it’s pretty obvious that he is just tricking Watson into feeling like he is helpful most of the time. Other times Holmes will actually insult Watson to his face but in a subtle way so Watson doesn’t even notice. It wasn’t Watson’s best showing so I guess even Holmes got tired of that, but still worth pointing out.

Watson is a lot of fun as always and it’s just easy to see why he has a lot of fans. “Rubbish” has started to become his main catchphrase. He is always muttering about something or other and I suppose he has good reason to grumble. He may be a doctor, but nobody really respects him all that much and they certainly don’t seem to buy into his intelligence. Watson ends up falling into a ditch multiple times which didn’t help his case, but at least he always means well. Watson is a very genuine person who speaks his mind. It just doesn’t often work out very well for him unless he is holding a gun. When in combat he is always ready.

Usually Sherlock Holmes is the master of disguises, but in this film the main villain really took that role. His disguises were so intricate and detailed that he would really appear to be more than one person. Quite a few people had alternate forms here though as even the girl who died was actually another person. That’s why it could be tough to keep track of everyone since you had extra characters who were actually not characters at all and were merely trying to fool everyone else. You can’t trust anyone.

In a sense the guy with the shotgun had the best idea. He knew that everyone kept dying so he decided to sit down on his char and get the gun ready. People don’t seem to die during the day so he’ll shoot anyone who tries to enter the room until the next day. He even pretends to have a bad leg to make the villain underestimate him. Unfortunately his whole plan was rendered moot as he decided not to have his chair actually face the door where the villain would come through. Isn’t that a terrible plan then? The whole point of a plan like this is to be able to see every direction from where the villains might come through. Otherwise there just isn’t much point to the plan at all and you might as well have just waited outside. Of course, this guy wasn’t exactly the smartest tool in the shed as Holmes warned him of his impending doom and the guy refused to listen. You should always hear Sherlock Holmes out.

The ending of the film is also fairly unique as one of the suspects decides to take things into his own hands. Usually it is Sherlock Holmes who either captures the villain or forces him to fall into his doom or into the hands of the police. This time he really did lose the guy in the fog and was just fortunate that one of the other characters was around or the villain could have possibly escaped. I was also glad that the character didn’t go out like a 2 bit character and actually managed to block the Scarlet Claw. After all, that weapon is hardly long range so once you manage to grab the opponent’s hand it will lose most of its lethal potential.

Overall , Sherlock Holmes: The Scarlet Claw is a really solid film. It’s probably the most thorough mystery of them all. (From the Holmes films that I’ve seen so far) While it’s still not as high ranked as some of the other mysteries thanks to the cast of suspects being a little less interesting, you can’t really ask for much more than what this film gives you. It has all of the classic Sherlock Holmes’ fundamentals in one clean package. Watson and Holmes still have a great dynamic as always even if I would like to see Watson win a verbal battle one of these days. He’s just too polite to properly defend himself though.

Overall 8/10

Maze Runner: The Death Cure Review

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It’s been quite a while since I saw the Scorch Trials but I knew that someday I would finish this series. That time is now and the Death Cure actually isn’t a bad film. For the most part it’s actually pretty solid but ends up losing a lot of steam by the time it reaches the ending. There really isn’t much of humanity left to save either.

The film starts with an almost humorous action scene where the main characters steal an entire train, knock out all of the guards and then fly out of there. They are lucky that the guards can’t shoot straight or that they had no cameras active to see the obvious traps that were set out for them. This sort of plot hax will be around for a while so now is a good time to get used to it. The characters have now freed over 100 kids and are ready to sail off to a better tomorrow. The problem is that one of their friends from the first film is still captured. Thomas, Newt, and Frypan head off to find him before also being joined by Jorge and Brenda. They will have to break into the enemy stronghold to free him and will have to risk everything one last time. Can they do it?

There is certainly a lot of action here. We have constant gun fights and miscellaneous explosions occurring off screen. There is even a hand to hand fight near the end. Naturally these kids aren’t exactly master martial arts so it’s really just both sides throwing a lot of punches as opposed to a lot of crispy choreography. The climax is really just one large war zone as the characters try to make it out in one piece.

The pacing isn’t bad either as things tend to move quickly. The heroes are rarely given a chance to rest and so the film is moving a lot as well. I can’t say the writing was all that good though as characters constantly sound like they are in a horror movie with all the needless yelling. The character cast also isn’t amazing and I had some issues with the ending. To explain why the ending is no ot that good without spoilers is a little tricky, but here goes. The whole film series is really about choosing a side. Is the government right for sacrificing around 50 kids to save the human population or should the kids simply escape but also soon humanity along with them? Well the choice was taken out of your hands early on as the government is unnecessarily cruel the whole time. They even go so far as to attempt to destroy one of the kids when harnessing his blood slowly would have been safer and could have saved more people. It’s also worth noting that their cures keep failing so they are gambling the kids lives on just a hunch. Then in the ending we basically realize that all hope is lost. Unless there is yet another lost city in the middle of nowhere but that would be super convenient. It means that the whole trilogy was ultimately pointless for most of the human race.

As I mentioned earlier there is also quite a lot of plot hax to be found here. The villains constantly seem to be on the losing side when they should have this in the bag. The amount of times they yell “freeze” is almost funny because the heroes absolutely never listen and it always results in the villains losing once again. The scene where the bus is surrounded is the worst part as they just watch one of the characters clip it to a construction crane and lift the bus out of there. They probably should have fired their guns.

Thomas is the main character and he is definitely no good. He is said to be a very forgiving character multiple times in the film to the point where he is ready to quickly forgive Teresa after she betrayed the heroes and took a role in torturing one of his friends. It’s not necessarily a bad thing that he forgives everyone but Thomas isn’t consistent about that. We’ve also got a kid who was mind controlled and forced into destroying another kid. The guy seemingly died but now he has returned and Thomas absolutely won’t forgive him. So really, it’s not that he is a forgiving person by nature, he just likes Teresa so he is willing to overlook her faults. He doesn’t handle the romance situation very well either and tends to not make very good commands as the leader. He’s just not a guy that you would want to follow into battle. Especially since he is always admitting that he has no idea what they are even doing.

Then we have Teresa who does not regret turning evil. That should mean she will be portrayed as a villain right? Well surprisingly the film actually tries to make her a little sympathetic with the classic the Ends Justify the Means line of thinking. That didn’t fly back in the day and it still doesn’t. She is on the wrong side and the film did a poor job of trying to show her switch sides or even making her cause look legitimate. As such the character was just pretty bad the whole time. The same goes for her Boss who spends the first two films capturing the kids and putting them in painful experiments. Now she is finally having second thoughts and it’s just way too late for that.

The only good villain is the main chief of security, Janson. He is sticking to his guns literally in this film as he shots quite a few characters and also knows how to fight. I mean, he’s not a great fighter as he can barely go even with Thomas but I suppose it’s a start at the very least. Janson also knows when it’s time to pull back and just win with a gun instead. His demise seems a little hard to buy since he would have known the room better than anyone and what it would take to break the glass though.

Newt was a solid character. He always does his best to support Thomas while also calling him out when the lead starts to act fishy. He has been infected for a while but manages to keep it quiet so as not to distract from the mission. Newt does have his typical blow up moment at Thomas which comes off as rather forced but that’s really his only iffy scene. Then we have the ex bully who still calls Thomas greeny. Honestly I barely remember the character at all so he may as well be a new character in this one. He is the commander of the resistance (How’d that happen?) aside from one old man who is consulted at times. He doesn’t tend to panic as much as the others and saves the leads quite a few times so at the very least he was really good in this film. More prepared than the others at the very least.

One scene that will really stick with you is when the main characters walk into a dark tunnel and are basically unarmed. Even if there wasn’t an army of zombies down there, what could they have possibly done against the villains in such a state? You have to bring a ton of ammo at the very least or some kind of plan. The heroes had neither and would have been doomed several times if they hadn’t kept getting saved. The whole film you are reminded of this as the heroes are just out of their depth for the majority of the movie.

Overall, The Death Cure isn’t a bad action film. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would and the series ends on a fairly good note. The ending is a little more hopeless than I would have liked and a certain death didn’t really need to happen since things were so bad already. It also didn’t help Thomas much either since at the very end he writes someone’s name down which basically proves his allegiance once more. If you want to see a film with a lot of action scenes then this is the place to go, but don’t expect it to be the kind of film that you will never forget.

Overall 6/10

20 Million Miles to Earth Review

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It’s time to look at a really old creature feature film. Unfortunately this isn’t one of the better ones and is in fact a particularly weak one. It resorts to bottom of the barrel tropes like animal violence and so the film quickly goes downhill. from there. You just can’t add in animal violence and expect to do well. Also, it doesn’t help that the monster didn’t really have a great design. He looked sort of like the gill man when he should have gone for a more authentic Godzilla design. I suppose you can’t win them all though.

The basic plot is that a group of local fishers are having a good time when they notice a rocket crash land into the water. They quickly head on over to investigate it and they are able to save one of the people inside. The others all died to a plague from Venus, but they still did take the time to take one of the animals over from there. Unfortunately a local boy named Pepe stole the animal and sold him (Keep in mind that the animal is till in egg form) to a local scientist for a pair of fake guns. The army doesn’t know this and is intent on finding the animal quickly. Turns out that they won’t have to look far though as the oxygen on Earth is having a peculiar effect on the creature and it is now growing very rapidly. If it keeps on going at this pace then thousands may perish. (Seems like hyperbole but one of the characters said so.)

It’s very by the books as far as the plot is concerned. The creature goes on a rampage and starts breaking stuff so the heroes have to put an end to it. The humans are all consumed by greed though and so they keep letting the creature get away. They want to contain it rather than destroy the beast because it can be useful for scientific study. This continues even when the monster is murdering people. One guy is literally getting bit to death while they just watch because they don’t want to hurt the monster. The big irony here is that bullets don’t work on the creature anyway so they were worried for nothing. It still makes you wonder about their principles though. The Italian government were the ones in the right here as the Americans just looked pretty bad the whole time. Even once they captured the beast to keep zapping him the whole time they let him break out and then a bunch of other people perished. So much for that eh?

Pepe is also a very annoying kid. In fact, he’s pretty much exactly what you expect whenever a kid shows up. They just tend to be rather annoying the whole time as they hide things from the grownups and keep trying for more and more money. He just holds everyone back. I’d say that the main fisher was probably the best character. He’s the only one who actually wanted to help the people from the crash while everyone else was too busy trying to escape. Certainly not the bravest thing to do in the middle of that. Of course, these characters aren’t here to be likable and they typically aren’t all that smart either.

Take Marisa, the doctor in training. She is in charge of looking after the 2 people from the crash, but one of them is unfortunately dying. The first guy, Calder quickly tries to wake up the second one to get answers, but she keeps telling him to leave the guy alone. Decent advice I guess, but since the guy is dying it isn’t like there is actually going to be a later. Then it makes sense to get all of the answers right away. She goes back and forth with Calder on this quite a lot until a random romance pops up and you wonder why once again romance was forced into a film for no real reason. It certainly didn’t add anything to the film and aside from a few very brief scenes it never actually goes anywhere. It’s just around for kicks.

The actual doctor isn’t very intelligent either. First he leaves the moving egg by itself as he goes to take a nap. Then after putting it in the cage he goes to sleep again and the monster has almost grown too large for his cage. What he does next is leave once again to go talk to Pepe and then decides to take a long trip to Rome. Did he really think that the monster would simply stop growing or that it would peacefully let them take it to Rome? Clearly this guy must be a self proclaimed doctor since I would expect him to be a lot smarter if his degree was actually legitimate.

The writing isn’t terrible, but it’s just nothing inspired. You could take some of the dialogue here and place it into almost any other monster film. It will work just fine because of how generic it is. Anyway, all of that could have been forgiven if not for the animal violence. As if once wasn’t bad enough they decide to go through with this twice. Perhaps it is the only way to show what a threat this monster is supposed to be, but picking on the humans would have been a better way of getting that across if you ask me.

Overall, I have to give this film a hard thumbs down. The creature isn’t very interesting and the characters are nothing special. Not only are they not quite as on the ball as a classic lead from other films, but their priorities are completely misplaced. The fact that they are okay with a bunch of people dying if it means that they get to study the monster just shows that these guys have no scruples. The whole situation makes it hard to root for the heroes, but you can’t root for the monster either so then what is there to do? Not much except to quickly shut off the movie. I’d certainly advise you to stick away from this one unless you want to get bored. If you need to see a film about a monster, go watch one of the Godzilla films. Those tend to deliver on the action front which this one could not. Also, who thought it would be a god idea to make the monster look really old and weak by giving him a mustache?

Overall 2/10

Dark Angel Review

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It’s time to look at a PS2 movie tie-in to a TV series that I never actually got around to watching. It seems like a cool premise though. It’s basically Maximum Ride but taking place in a futuristic setting. I can get behind that. The actual game mixes stealth with the beat em up genre for interesting results. Honestly I think it would have certainly been sufficient to have just been a beat em up, but I suppose the stealth aspects make sense with the actual plot of the game.

So the story follows Max (You won’t be able to forget her name since it is mentioned a few times for every single level) as she wants to rescue the other people who was kidnapped by the I-Corporation and experimented on. Among those were her sisters. Max broke out (In the show I’m guessing) but now she must head back to face her fears once more. Logan helps her from the sidelines as he tries to shut off some security cameras here and there. He’s basically tech support and I suppose he does go into the field once in a while. Can Max really save her family?

One thing to note here is that in the future the government fell apart thanks to some kind of nuclear situation so now corporations run the world. I-Corp is one of those along with a second one that I’m forgetting. Both sides are evil and do experimentation so you have to decide who to root for. In this case we are going after I-Corp, but apparently Max destroyed a good chunk of the other side prior to the game so she has done a good job of taking out any corporation that stands against her.

The gameplay is very straight forward when it comes to combat. You can punch, kick, and throw. Jumping is also useful even if the jump isn’t very high. You can run and then jump+kick to unleash a devastating tackle that will knock any opponent over. This is really useful for when a bunch of enemies are after you as they have no real counter to this. If you don’t mind taking a little while you can bear all of the enemies this way. To prevent you from cheesing the game for each level though, some will have a time limit for which you can beat the enemies. Just keep mixing up your punches and kicks to resist enemy throws and you’ll be okay. Whenever possible I would ignore the stealth option and just barrel into groups of enemies. Some groups I just barely beat with 1 second left, but that’s the kind of intensity that you want to see. Also, I didn’t quite understand the stealth part for a little while since the game never explains it.

Basically if you crouch from behind an enemy and attempt to throw them it will result in a one hit KO. This is really useful if there are a bunch of enemies. You can take them all out one at a time this way. Otherwise if you just attack one then every enemy in the room will rush at you which can be around 6 and they can take a lot of health out of you if you aren’t careful. 2 of the last levels mix this formula up a bit though as stealth isn’t optional. If you are spotted then you are sent back to the very beginning. These levels can be a little on the long side so I can definitely confirm that it’s in your best interest to proceed with caution. A good technique for mixing the enemies up is just randomly jumping and then running off to hide. It will change their current pattern into one that may be easier. Of course it could get harder so proceed with caution.

To help in your stealth missions you are given some stealth gun ammo. This is a one hit KO to any opponent so it’s a good way to cheese these stealth missions. It is a tactical gamble though as you don’t get a whole lot of ammo. I believe you get around 20 shots for the duration of the game or something like that. Use your ammo wisely. I had already spent all of mine before the last big stealth mission, but I’d say that I did a good job of making it last when you consider how many levels there are. You also have other gadgets like a walkie talkie to lure the enemies closer and health packs which are self explanatory. As with many stealth games you just want to make these items really count.

As far as the characters go, we have a good cast here. Max is definitely a great main character. All of her dialogue is basically mocking all of the minions as she beats them up. She certainly isn’t above hitting someone who’s down as we even see that in a cutscene near the end so it isn’t just gameplay mechanics. She’s had a tough past but has definitely gotten past it and turned into a good hero. Logan is all right. I’m not a fan, but I guess he is useful. I can’t say much about the sisters as they don’t appear until near the end, but Beka was cool. She’s probably the best character after Max. She can certainly fight pretty well too.

The graphics look pretty sharp. A good amount of budget probably went into the cutscenes as they are full cinematics so no text cop outs. I mean, you get a text cutscene at the beginning of each level as well, but so long as you get both that isn’t an issue. The visuals are quite nice and I just wish we could have gotten more outdoor levels as towards the end they all feel a little cramped. The game had reasonable variety though. The soundtrack is definitely pretty solid. A little on the generic side, but nonetheless the combat themes were quite fast and really suck you into the moment. It makes the battles more fun.

There is no real replay value here though. There’s no level select and no collectibles to acquire. Basically once you complete the game that is it for your adventure. You have no more reason to play at all. With 22 levels I’d say that this game should last you around 4-5 hours. It will depend on how long some of the tougher levels take you as one took me around an hour before I finally had it beat. It’s no walk in the park and the game’s difficulty is pretty fair. It’s just enough to make you try but not too crazy either.

Overall, Dark Angel is definitely a fun game. The TV show definitely sounds pretty interesting if it’s like that. Max is basically a super soldier after all so that should make for some good action scenes. Hopefully the special effects were on point for that. Considering that I got the game for a few bucks I would say that this was a bargain. If you are looking for a quality action game to get for cheap then this is definitely the one for you. It’s just such a solid action game. Who knows, maybe it’ll get a sequel someday.

Overall 7/10