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Sleeping With The Enemy Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

When you see a title like this along with the general premise you will probably just walk right on past it to the next section of the store. It just doesn’t seem like a winner and your initial gut would be correct. It’s rather difficult to make a plot like this work in the first place so it’s no surprise that it didn’t but I’d say the film put in an effort. It just didn’t end up paying off this time around.

The movie opens up by introducing us to Laura, she’s certainly a tragic character married to the abusive Martin. One day she is able to escape by feigning her death and settling down in a small village. She meets up with her new neighbor Ben and prepares for a rebound romance. Unfortunately she made one critical mistake when escaping her old life. She threw her ring in the toilet and flushes but never actually checked to see if it went down. It did not and now Martin has reason to suspect that she isn’t actually dead. He sets off to find her. Will Laura be safe in this town or is it all over.

I would say the ring is her only mistake because while we do get a tricky call from someone that blows her cover, it’s not likely that she could have controlled that. You should only worry about what you can control which in this case is the ring. While that was an unfortunate slip, Laura did do a good job of seizing her opportunity when she needed to. Jumping into the ocean during such a storm is definitely not an easy thing to do that’s for sure. I would also make the case that Laura should have kept her wig on instead of going back to her classic hair. It would help with the disguise at least a bit and coupling that with a new name would help quite a bit in staying under the radar. It wasn’t quite to be though.

The film definitely sets Martin up as the big bad guy right from the start. He’s shown to be pretty crazy almost immediately and from there he only goes worse and worse. Unfortunately people tend to talk to him quite a lot so he finds out information on locating Laura pretty easily. You’d think there would be a lot of warning bells set off when this guy approaches you but people don’t seem to notice each time. The guys here aren’t the most perceptive that’s for sure. I was half expecting him to destroy the boat guy who showed up near the beginning but that guy got lucky this time.

Meanwhile Laura is a solid main character. As mentioned, she was pretty brave to come up with the plan to escape and does a good job of rebuilding her life. She contributes quite a bit towards the end of the film and doesn’t back down when it’s crunch time. She’s easily the best character here although there isn’t much of a cast to go against her. We’ve got Ben but he’s not all that great. The guy means well of course but he goes down real quick in the climax despite having the element of surprise and I wasn’t a big fan of the romance either. It definitely seems like a romance is the last thing Laura would want to deal with right now after seeing how the last one went. The way Ben handled the whole apples situation also wasn’t the greatest first appearance for him if he was trying to make a positive impression. The only thing I’ll give him credit for is noticing that something was wrong during the climax of the film.

Now having a plot like this one with an abusive character like Martin makes for easy tension in a film but it’s definitely not a plot that will help a movie. The first chunk of the movie is all pretty unbearable until Laura is able to get out of there. Of course you may wonder how she ended up with someone like this but of course she explains he wasn’t always like this and used to appear to be nice. It’s one of the dangerous things about relationships and why you can’t blame Laura here. At the end of the day it’s hard to ever really know someone else and this kind of thing could happen. It’s a very tragic plot point to be sure but definitely not one that makes for good film.

Overall, Sleeping With The Enemy is not a film I would recommend. The main plot isn’t good and since that’s the whole focus of the film it’s unable to get past that. The movie just would have needed something drastic to really get past this. At the end of the day the writing isn’t bad and the film moves pretty quickly but there’s just no way to really recommend it. At the end of the day the movie just isn’t really any fun. That said, you would expect that just based on the title and the synopsis. If you want a thriller to watch I would recommend the latest Mission Impossible instead. That one gives you a lot of tension and action but also has a pretty fun feel to it.

Overall 2/10

The Courtship of Eddie’s Father Review

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Time for a rom-com film from a while back. So right away I had some concerns here because a kid was going to have a big role in the film. As you may know, kids tend to distract from the film going on with a lot of their crazy antics and holding things back. Unfortunately Eddie is no exception and easily the worst character in the film. Fortunately the rest of the movie is still pretty decent and it’s a film I could recommend. I just think it could have been even better if Eddie himself just wasn’t in the mix the whole time.

The movie starts by introducing us to Tom. He’s a man whose wife recently died so he’s doing his best to go on with life as normal. Unfortunately Eddie isn’t happy about this and wants to have a Mom again. Tom assures him that the two of them will be okay but Eddie throws fits and begins crying all the time. So Tom begins on his journey to find someone and ends up meeting a lady named Rita. Unfortunately Eddie doesn’t like her because he wants Tom to marry their next door neighbor Elizabeth. There are a ton of reasons why this shouldn’t happen, particularly that Elizabeth was Tom’s wife’s best friend. You’re not really going to marry her best friend right? Right?….well we’ll see if Tom can stay strong.

So I’ve already wrote about Eddie but lets wrap up his character now so we can move on to the others. He’s just really not coping well at all and tries to deflect this all the time by saying that Tom isn’t happy. You can see how visibly confused Tom was because they had just finished watching a movie that he enjoyed quite a bit but Eddie quickly threw cold water over the whole thing. Throughout the film Eddie is constantly projecting like this and Tom ends up being under a lot of pressure to find someone and fast. Then you’ve also got the scene where Eddie is rude to the girl at camp. This is already bad but even worse is the fact that everyone in class was always teasing her so Eddie had been the girl’s only friend. This sudden betrayal would be hard for the girl to deal with and this is never brought up again. Eddie’s just really mean throughout the entire film and every scene with him will have you cringing.

As for Tom, he’s okay but I wouldn’t actually call him a good character either. First off, as much as Eddie whines about the whole thing, that shouldn’t be enough to just make him find a new wife so quickly. Then you’ve got the fact that you can’t really take him seriously in these new relationships. He is seemingly interested in 3 women during the course of the film, Dollye, Rita, and Elizabeth. Dollye is taken off the table early on but with Rita and Elizabeth the guy can’t make up his mind. He actively goes on dates with both of them and doesn’t see any problem with this. Inevitably one of them won’t have a happy ending here.

Like Eddie Tom tends to lose his cool pretty quickly though so that also hurts him as a character even aside from not being able to make up his mind. He’s constantly insulting Elizabeth so it’s no wonder that they didn’t hit it off. Additionally when he tries to turn her logic against her when she rightfully points out that he’s always scared and pouting…it doesn’t work. He tries to say that she is also afraid of being in a relationship except that she is still going out on dates and has a solid gig as a nurse so…his argument was terrible from the start. She’s also the one making the effort to go to his place and see Eddie so this is a one way street.

Elizabeth is a decent heroine but I also feel like she was moving in rather quickly with romantic intentions. So, this goes back to the ole rebound that I always speak against in these films. If your wife just died or you split apart, you can’t move on to someone so quickly. How serious were your feelings if you are already prepared to move on? Both parties are suspect there. Even though Tom is meant to be wrong in his speech about how Elizabeth was just there to get married…this did start to go in that direction rather quickly so was he really wrong? Elizabeth said she went there platonically but it sure didn’t stay that way for long. Additionally Tom was the one starting to seem desperate as he kept inviting her for drinks. Yeah, I can’t give that guy a thumbs up.

Rita was a pretty reasonable character as well. She was also interested in Tom from the start and did her best to claim him. Unfortunately Eddie was always trying to ruin things there. She handled things quite rationally and in the end it was Tom who just tossed her aside once he decided to be with Elizabeth. I appreciate the fact that the film didn’t immediately try to make her some kind of villain or anything like that. Rita stayed as a solid character throughout so I appreciate the film’s restraint.

The other two supporting characters were Dollye and Norman. I was fine with both of them being written out rather early though as they got their own subplot because they weren’t quite as interesting. Dollye definitely had a very odd first appearance. Fortunately it went well but if I were Tom I definitely would have had doubts on the request. Her overall quest is good though as she works to get more outgoing. It’s a very noble goal and one worth pursuing. Meeting up with Norman was quite fortunate for her because that guy is quite good at being bold and letting this be known far and wide. Whatever the guy wants he gets. Definitely not the most trustworthy sort but you hope things will work out for them.

The writing is pretty fun though. We do get some nice scenes of humor particularly with the maid who is trying to learn Spanish. She has clearly put in a lot of work to her craft and is just a likable person. She does try to look out for Tom a bit in her own way. In general while I may not be big fans of the main characters or the romance in general which I found to be a bit weak, the film itself is nice and interesting. I wouldn’t really say there is a whole lot against it beyond that. The film is reasonably long and a lot happens. It may drag on a tad at points but not enough to say it’s a bad film. Put it this way, you should have a good time giving it a watch but it probably wouldn’t rank for giving it a re watch after that.

Overall, If you can get past the fact that the characters are going for a rebound romance then this is a decent film. It’s a film that would have benefited from not having Eddie participate at all though. Seriously, the kid really didn’t need to be here. Without him the story would be a lot tighter and you could probably even develop the romance more since it wouldn’t all just be from pressure that the kid provided. If you ask me that’s a winning combination. I somehow don’t think Eddie will be going back to camp after all of this though, he certainly burned all of the bridges he could have there and the little girl isn’t likely to forget his final scene either. Maybe he could be more likable in a sequel if we get a big time jump or something.

Overall 6/10

The Island Review

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With a title like the Island you may be guessing that this is some kind of slice of life film or maybe even a romance film. Well, this one’s a little different from that. This one’s a thriller and deals with some pretty interesting themes. I wouldn’t say it lives up to its full potential but ends up being a pretty entertaining film I’d say. A lot happens here for sure and I like the general premise once you start getting into the twists.

The movie starts by introducing us to Lincoln who is the main character. He has grown up on an island where things are pretty strict. You’re not allowed to really go close to anyone or you’ll trigger proximity alerts to the authorities. Nobody is allowed off of the island because the rest of the world is completely poisoned after some kind of nuclear attack. Occasionally the authorities will find more survivors outside and bring them onto the island. Lincoln finds the whole thing to be pretty empty. He just feels like life isn’t fulfilling and has so many questions about why they have to be stuck on this island. Nobody is interested in really giving him any answers though. In fact, people aren’t even allowed to do so or they’ll be in trouble. Well, Lincoln is determined to find answers no matter what it takes.

The whole idea of the island will likely have you feeling a strong sense of skepticism. Has there ever been a chance where this actually was the truth in a film? The instant you find out that nobody is allowed to answer any questions you’ll know that something clearly isn’t right here. Then you’ve got the people who “win” the lottery and get to leave the island to another one on the outside world. Let me back up a bit, the title is referring to the island you make it to for winning the lottery. The home base is technically called something else but you’re living underground in case you were getting mixed up by all the island talk. Basically this is the only way to get back outside so people are always thrilled to get out there. It’s very suspect of course and lets just say that things don’t go well for the people who win.

The movie goes into a lot of other plot lines from there and it does all feel like a big adventure. Due to how the society is set up the main characters don’t know a whole lot though. They are intentionally kept in an environment like kids with not a whole lot of experience outside of their immediate environment. So in some ways they all act a bit like kids even though they’re technically older. The cast isn’t all that big as most of the focus is on Lincoln and Jordan. They are decent main characters although the romance seems to happen awful fast. This is definitely one of those films where I wouldn’t exactly give the romance a thumbs up. Feels like it’s more one of those things that has to happen but didn’t really need to.

Lincoln is very inquisitive about everything that’s going on which is good. Most of the characters are content to just wait and see what happens here so he’s got a leg up there. He’s good at rolling with the situation and adapting well. He looks good throughout the second half of the film and really makes a lot of the right decisions. Meanwhile Jordan is also solid and I like her competitive spirit. She is quite ready to jump into action. She may not have suspected what was going on the same way Lincoln did but she was quick to join his side.

Albert is one of the villains in the film and he definitely does a good job in his role. The guy is a dangerous opponent that you really don’t want to go up against. He’s got a plan for everything and clearly has a lot of experience. He’s the standout character of the movie. Then you’ve got Merrick who is a pretty solid character as well. He has a big role in the film and is pretty smart so he’s always got a lot of ideas as well. Merrick tends to notice things that nobody else does and that’s why he gets the big bucks. Meanwhile Lincoln also has a few friends who pop in every now and again. They’re pretty decent but none of them get a whole lot to do.

If there’s anything holding this film back I suppose it would be that at times the plot can move a bit slowly. Until you get to the main plot twists the characters spend a whole lot of time just at the base not really doing anything. I’m thinking the purpose here is to show just how repetitive life can be while at the base. Still, I think it could have been sped up a bit as well. Once we enter the second half of the movie and get a different backdrop then it really allows for a lot of new circumstances. Some people definitely look really bad for not figuring out that something was up though.

I don’t blame any of the people in the base because there’s no real way for them to have figured anything out but the other people separate from the project? I don’t see how none of them were able to find out about this. The film hints of course that most of these people would rather not know so they don’t search too hard but I’m still not quite able to buy that. Certainly not an operation this big, I don’t care quite how in the middle of nowhere it is located. Additionally, you’d think there would be more guards on the outskirts to stop people from getting away. I guess when you have bounty hunters at the ready though there is less pressure.

Overall, The Island is a good film. I think it could have been better especially with the great plots it has at the ready but it did well enough where I could recommend it. The writing’s decent and the main characters were good. It’s an ambitious title and has a solid climax. The less you know about the film the more you can have fun piecing together the different twists coming up since at the very least from the beginning you’ll definitely know that something isn’t quite adding up here. Of course the true twist would be if a film has this premise but actually plays it straight where the world is covered in radiation. When the main characters bust out they realize this and the film ends on that somber note. It would be extremely unexpected but a really interesting way to play around with the audience expectations.

Overall 6/10

Another Woman Review

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Time for another Woody Allen film where unsurprisingly the writing is one of the weakest aspects here. The film has a decent premise I guess but one that the film drags on as long as possible. The longer the movie goes, the weaker it gets and that’s the problem. I didn’t actually think it was all that bad at first but we gradually got more and more drama with each character sinking further and further. By the end of the film there are no characters to root for and you’ll wonder what the point of the whole thing was.

The movie starts out by introducing us to Marion. She is a lady who has achieved great success academically and is happily married. One day though she begins to eavesdrop on a counseling session being held next door and realizes that maybe her life is rather empty. She never noticed it before but the grass just seems greener on the other side. It turns out that Marion’s friends don’t like her as much as she thought they did and her marriage also seems rather lifeless now. She begins to reminisce about the good ole days and wonders if she should be taking a different path for her future. Is this all on the level or is she just taking herself down a dangerous path?

One thing about life is that you’ve always got to take the path of no regrets. Have fun while you’re young. You can still have fun once you’re older of course but why wait until then? If you put all of your dreams on hold in the present with the idea that you’ll do them all someday, then you may end up feeling like you have missed out somewhere along the way. That’s what happens to Marion here but the thing is that she has nobody to blame but herself. We learn in the film that she can be quite judgmental at times. She is very quick to point the finger at others or overthink things. Then you’ve got the fact that she had an affair with someone who was already married. In fact, she got him to divorce his current wife and marry her.

That’s not some slight inconvenience like taking the last can of pasta at the supermarket. She just wrecked an entire relationship for her own gain without a single doubt. At least she did not accept the advances of another married man who wanted to be with her but it’s hard to give her much credit at this point. When she learns that her husband is cheating on her as well it’s also hard to feel as bad for her. If you gain someone by cheating then you already know that your partner isn’t the trustworthy type. There’s no reason to believe that you’ll be the exception and that nobody would dare cheat on you.

Marion is definitely a very flawed character here which is part of the point of her character arc but it’s definitely not in even remotely an interesting way. She feels more like a villain than a protagonist most of the time. Her supporting cast are all just as suspect though. First you’ve got her husband Ken who loves hanging out at parties and having a good time but isn’t really the trust worthy type. He’s very much a man of habit who just goes through the motions of life. He does whatever gives him the most pleasure and doesn’t care about the rest. Then you’ve got Larry who has no problems trying to get together with someone who’s already married. The film tries to get you to think that she would have had a better life with him and perhaps that would be the case but she was already married during these advances so there’s no way that getting together with him would have been the “right” move at that point. She had already boxed herself in with a pretty bad set of choices.

As mentioned though, the writing is just really bad. Pretty much all of the characters are as crude as can be. The dialogue is all pretty crazy most of the time but not in a cool surreal way. Just in a boring sense where everyone just seems to care about talking on matters relating to relationships, scandals, and cheating. It’s rare to find any conversation in the film that is actually upbeat and interesting. All of the characters just feel really bad for themselves the whole time. It’s easy to see why none of them are happy. You’ve got to make the best with what you’ve got in order to be really content. Constantly comparing yourself to everyone else is a surefire way to do the absolute opposite.

If I had to name one decent scene I suppose it would be the trippy dream where everything turns into a stage play and Marion learns that her father is one of the people seeing the counselor next door. She also finds out that she is responsible for her first husband destroying himself. Did I mention that she had a first husband? Marion moves very quickly and rebounded from the guy with someone else shortly afterwards. Just in case you thought we didn’t already have too many romance plots going around. He died off screen prior to the film starting but this extra detail was clearly just added for kicks to show that the cycle keeps going on. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was already married before she met him just like the other affairs in the film.

Overall, Another Woman is an appropriate title here as nobody in the film seems content with the person they already have. You can also look at it in another way as there’s always another woman blaming Marion for their troubles. You’ve got the “best friend” who gets drunk all the time and blames Marion for a relationship that never actually happened. You have the Ex who blamed Marion for stealing her husband which is actually true but if he could be stolen so easily then he clearly wasn’t worth anything from the start. Etc. There’s a whole lot of the blame game going on around here with a ton of twisted relationships. Nobody trusts each other here and for good reason but it also means that none of these relationships would have stood much of a chance if you ask me. Either way something would have come along to mess things up for them. I would definitely recommend watching just about anything else instead of this film. If you want a good drama title then watch To Each His Own instead for a much higher standard of quality.

Overall 3/10

The Yellow Rolls-Royce Review

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Time for another anthology type film. The Rolls-Royce is a pretty interesting car to see and I can see why the brand was so well known back in the day. Personally I can’t imagine spending too much of a premium for a car though. Cars are already an outrageous price so to go even higher just for design? Maybe if the car could make me my morning Pepsi or something but otherwise no dice. Still, it makes for a fun little car to connect the 3 stories together. There is a whole lot of deception and cheating going around in these films so you really can’t trust anybody.

The first story picks up with Charles heading to the dealership to pick up his car. It’s a Yellow Rolls-Royce that even has a phone in it. Everything’s not quite how he wanted it installed but he needs it today and can’t fuss over it further. See, he had forgotten his anniversary (pretty big thing to forget to be honest) Still, he figures better late than never and heads on home to a big party. The Gold Cup is happening the next day which is a huge horse race that he looks forward to every year. He tends to win it every year but it never loses that feeling of excitement and splendor. Still, his wife Eloise is acting a bit odd. Charles doesn’t want to read into it but people are definitely giving him ideas. Particularly one lady who certainly doesn’t like Eloise and basically tells Charles that Eloise is cheating on him. He can prove that she isn’t pretty easily by checking on his Rolls-Royce. The thing is, checking the car would mean that he didn’t trust her. So the instant he heads for the car the relationship will never be the same but at the same time he has to know. What is he to do?

The film doesn’t keep it a secret that she is cheating on him from the start. This isn’t a mystery or a thriller. It’s really just about showing how betrayal can hurt quite a lot. At that point there isn’t much Charles can do. He’s tied up socially although I think that’s no excuse. Are you really able to just keep going on like everything’s normal? I feel like that’s not a good strategy because now either he’ll just go on knowing that she is probably having affairs with other people or he’ll do the same thing as revenge. Either way I don’t think he’ll be able to get excited for the Gold Cup anymore.

This was a pretty strong way to start the film. It’s easily the most emotional special. While you can’t say Charles is a great guy (He routinely ignores an ambassador who is trying to convey urgent information because he doesn’t want to deal with it) he at least seemed like a nice one. He definitely takes this hard and who wouldn’t. Eloise definitely looks really bad here. Cheating is definitely never a good idea and it’s really impossible to sympathize with her plight here. She half heartedly almost decides not to cheat but quickly goes through with it anyway. At that point she certainly made her choice.

Next up is a story about a gangster named Paolo and his gal pal Mae. He is trying to show her all the best sights in Italy and Rome but to his great annoyance she is really not impressed with any of them. In fact, they bore her completely and she wants to leave. Paolo is determined to get her to change her mind but ends up having to leave on business. See, he’s part of the mafia and from time to time he is called in to erase people. He leaves Mae with his most trusted ally Joey. Joey does his best to look after her but Mae quickly begins to like a local guy named Stefano. Stefano is a guy who flirts with everyone and admits this quite openly. He’s had more affairs than he can count but assures Mae this is the real deal this time. They have an affair but then learn that Paolo is coming back. It goes without saying that he’ll murder Stefano if he catches the guy with Mae. What can she do to save his life and prevent such a catastrophe?

Well, this is another story about cheating so I can’t say I feel bad for Mae or Stefano. Keep in mind that the person cheating is just as guilty as the single person who convinces the person in a relationship to get together. Now, in this case we have the mafia angle so you could make the case that Mae doesn’t even like Paolo and isn’t truly in a relationship. I’m not really sure that one would hold weight in this case. At the very least the secretive nature of the whole thing isn’t great and if she was serious about this she should escape with Stefano right away. I have no doubts that Paolo would track them down eventually though so then the best thing to do would be to not have the affair at the start. It would be the best way out.

Joey was definitely a really solid friend here. He maybe looked the other way too much but he did his best to keep Mae safe. Even if it meant keeping Paolo in the dark he succeeded in his mission. Paolo told him to keep Mae safe and that’s exactly what he did. Meanwhile Paolo made for a pretty fun figure. You could never really know what he was thinking. I suspect he knew more than he was letting on at the end of the film but chose to look away just this once. Perhaps he had more mercy than I would have suspected.

Finally we go to a story that actually has a war in it so there’s some high stakes here. Gerda has bought the Rolls-Royce as she prepares to travel around Europe. People keep trying to warn her that a war is breaking out but she refuses to hear it. Sensing that Gerda may be someone easy to manipulate we are introduced to a guy named Davich who claims he is a hero who will help end the war. When Gerda doesn’t really understand what this means he gives up the subtle act and just holds her at gun point to help him out. She begins the journey but is she actually bringing along someone who is very dangerous and will jeapordize the war?

This story definitely didn’t go quite how I thought it would. See, I was convinced that Davich was a bad guy. That he would turn out to be a Nazi or something as he showed his true colors. Instead his story was actually on the level and he was hear to helo the rebels win the war against the Nazi’s. It takes an incredibly long time for Gerda to get on board with this though. At one point she even starts eating a meal while bombs are flying in the distance and she couldn’t be bothered. It was a pretty surreal scene and I wasn’t sure if it was being played seriously there or if it was supposed to be a comedic moment.

The special has a lot of different vibes throughout for sure. One thing the special didn’t manage to do was make Davich likable though. I don’t care how undercover he was, he threatened to murder Gerda’s dog which was pretty crazy. There was no way I could possibly root for him after that. He just seems a little too willing to do anything to help out even if it means becoming a villain himself. Even his ending is a bit suspect as he absolutely refuses help even if it would have been very helpful at that moment. I already talked about Gerda, she isn’t very good either. She’s just too slow on the uptake the whole time and would very quickly turn on her dog at times. The final special definitely suffered from a weaker cast than the first two stories.

Overall, The Yellow Rolls-Royce is an interesting anthology. All of the shorts are pretty solid. It’s definitely one of the more emotional ones as the first two shorts have sad endings and the final one has a happy ending but with somber undertones as there were significant casualties. It is good that the main heroine there was quite skilled once she realized the danger was real and quickly pitched in to help. Imagine if she had been that heroic the whole time. While the movie can be quite somber I wouldn’t say it’s ever too down in the dumps. I would describe it as the film never letting you get too excited and content because you know things are going to turn but you have a good time in the meanwhile. The first special definitely handles this the best I’d say in part because the betrayal just feels the most personal and the film succeeds in making you feel bad for the main guy even though he wasn’t portrayed to be very heroic. I’d recommend checking this out if you want a good collection of dramas.

Overall 6/10

Reefer Madness Review

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This film’s quite old and surprisingly short. It’s almost like watching an informercial to an extent where there’s a general plot but it’s all built around a message. Definitely not a bad thing per say but unfortunately you do feel like the story wasn’t given a lot of attention. The characters just aren’t very good and that’s an issue because you need to have characters you can root for. You don’t really have anyone like that here though and the ending’s pretty bad which doesn’t help matters either.

The film starts off by having a principal give a stern lecture about why drugs are no good. In particular he singles out Marijuana as the most dangerous one of all. Mainly because of how easy it is to distribute and the fact that we won’t be getting rid of it anytime soon due to how it grows all over the place. Try as they may to stop it, people have been receiving it in cities around the world. He urges the students to crack down on this and not to weaken. Meanwhile, Mae and Jack have other plans for the school. They have been distributing drugs for a long time and have now decided to start targeting students as an untapped market. This works out very easily for them which is unfortunate. It’s as simple as inviting the gang over to their place and handing them the drugs. Slowly but surely they work on getting the rest of the characters.

Bill is effectively the lead here and he’s a nice enough kid. He likes playing tennis, has a nice girlfriend, and just has a well rounded life. Even his grades are really good. Unfortunately he is yet another character with a weak will here. The villains get to him pretty quickly and aside from the drugs he even gets involved in an affair. There was definitely no way you would like Bill past this point. He really just doesn’t do a good job of handling the situations. Mary is a solid heroine but she does falter a bit too quickly when going to the house of the drug dealers. Naturally she doesn’t know she is smoking Marijuana and thinks it’s just a normal old cigarette but that’s why you shouldn’t be smoking in the first place.

Now, it should be said that there is a big difference between smoking and doing drugs of course. One is flat out illegal (or was at the time) while the other is just fatal for your health. Naturally I advise not doing either one of those activities or even drinking beer. You should just stick to soda or root beer. Anything that causes you to not be in your normal state of mind just doesn’t sound like a good idea. It’s one of those things where even if it was legal unless you need something for medicinal purposes or some kind of serious injury then it just doesn’t seem like a good idea.

So the film does have a good motive here of trying to get people not do to drugs by showing how it can wreck your life completely. Bill’s grades go down, he loses his best friend, and his reputation has been forever tarnished. Others aren’t able to cope with the guilt ad break down. At the end of the day none of the characters were better off from doing drugs and that’s what the film wanted to point out. It does so in a rather grim way which is to be expected but doesn’t make the film any better. It would have been nice if the principal could have figured out what was going on a little sooner and put a stop to it. He had his suspicions of course but at the end of the day he just wasn’t able to do anything about it which was the problem.

Meanwhile from the villains Jack was unapologetically evil the whole time as he gave drugs to the kids. He’s definitely not a likable character in the slightest but recognizes his place in things. He even offers to shoot one of the students to keep the whole thing under wraps. Then you’ve got Mae who keeps saying they shouldn’t be doing this but at the end of the day she still goes through with everything. Whenever a villain hesitates like this or keeps saying that they should stop you can’t take her seriously because she’s still along for the ride. It sounds like she’s just trying to take the moral high ground for later on but it doesn’t work. Particularly with such an active role she had in corrupting Bill. Both villains were definitely on the evil side whether one made objections or not.

Overall, Reefer Madness definitely shows that it’s madness to do drugs. Especially when you’ve already got a very good life you need to not get greedy. While there is no situation where you should pick up the Marijuana at least you can see how someone would be desperate enough to do so if their lives were in shambles. A rich kid who has an excellent set of friends, grades, and seems generally content getting mixed up in all of this? That’s definitely a mistake you don’t want to see happen. While the film has some good messages here I would ultimately say to take a pass on this one. By now I’d say you will have seen enough posters and essays on why drugs are bad in the real world so you don’t have to sit through a whole film to understand the message.

Overall 3/10

Happy Birthday To Me Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This movie definitely has one of the more disturbing posters you’re likely to see around that’s for sure. Right away you can probably tell that this film is not going to end well and you’d be right. It’s your classic slasher title as the villain takes everyone out one by one. The main draw here is figuring out who the murderer is as there are plenty of suspects. All of these guys feel like people who may be guilty so no character is innocent here. We’ll see if you can figure out who did it.

So the movie starts by introducing us to a nice little town. In this town there’s a school with the Big 10, the students who are destined for greatness. Some of them got this status through money…well just about all of them to be honest and a few with good ole fashioned hard work. They like to mess with people as a clique by harassing people and showing a general disregard for public safety. Someone clearly doesn’t like this because members of the Big 10 keep getting murdered one after another. Some of them start suspecting foul play while others treat it all like an elaborate joke. There’s a whole lot of plot convenience here as well I should add.

The main character here is Ginny. She’s a member of the group but is fairly new to the town and is still getting used to being a rebellious person. She has just recovered from a traumatic event involving the death of her Mother but is finally ready for society again. Unfortunately these murders are having a pretty bad effect on her psyche. In fact, Ginny believes that she may be the one doing these murders but can’t find a way to prove it. The whole thing is driving her insane and her “friends” only seem to care about how they can use this momentary weakness to get together with her as a rebound. With nobody to turn to and her father away on another business trip Ginny is definitely in a pretty bad spot here.

One of the big problems with the film is just how unlikable everyone is. Part of this is the film going out of its way to make everyone suspicious but because of that there is nobody to root for. One of the big 10 for example has a creepy fascination with wax modes as he even creates some based on the girl who just went missing and did it in a violent fashion. Not exactly the kind of guy you want as a friend right? Another guy is a player who gets together with everyone all the time. Everyone is constantly trying to manipulate the others or just hooking up with everyone one after another. Ginny isn’t exactly removed from that either and doesn’t look much better. These are all deeply flawed characters to the point where none of them are even remotely likable. It’s just unfortunate.

Ginny also doesn’t put herself in a great position to try and keep some distance from the murders. She keeps on meeting up with different guys by herself. Not exactly the best plan. Of course it’s not hard since all the guys seem to like her but she should be the one avoiding these scenarios. It’s one of those films where you feel like it may not have made a difference to be honest but it still would have been nice to see her trying. Even the scene where she runs into the graveyard by herself is kind of suspect. Why distance yourself from the group like that when it’s so late at night? The fact that she lives in the middle of the forest is also pretty crazy. I suppose it’s one of those things where it probably looks better when you’re not watching a horror film but it doesn’t help here.

It goes without saying that the movie is definitely very violent. Each of the characters are murdered in very violent ways. Nobody gets what you’d call a simple death here, they all have to really go through the wringer so you can tell that the murderer really doesn’t like these guys either. They just can’t catch a break. It does raise some questions later on when you actually know what’s going on though. It also reminds you why you need to keep your guard up at times. In the very first murder, I don’t care who it is but you were just being choked by someone with black gloves and then someone with the same pair appears to help you…..suspicious right? This character didn’t think so until it was too late unfortunately. Not every murder was careless like that but another one involving weights was pretty suspect. This character is literally not saying a word the entire time you’re talking. Isn’t that kind of odd?

So of course the writing is going for the classic moments like this. I’d have to give it a thumbs down though in large part to how bad the cast was. I think you can definitely try to make this kind of film without making the characters that unlikable. It was a bit excessive at times. The only good characters were some of the supporting characters like the headmaster. At least she was trying to get a handle on things and keep people out of trouble. She may not have been very successful but at least she tried.

The movie’s big reveal at the end will either be a genius move for you or you’ll roll your eyes. As I said, there are a lot of plot conveniences for this to work that’s for sure. The actual reveal I’m cool with because it’s a lot more interesting than the other routes but you do feel like the writing doesn’t hold up. One character looks pretty terrible the whole time though as he just panics and doesn’t do anything the whole time until it’s too late. It’s too bad because in the present he seemed good even if the flashbacks got tricky. Ultimately at least you don’t get the feeling that he was a bad person, it’s just that things would come up suddenly. The villain just took things way too intensely and ultimately there’s no excuse there. Villains will be villains I suppose.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this. Happy Birthday to Me is really just your classic teen slasher. If I had to compare it to a film it’s probably most like I Know What You Did Last Summer in terms of how bad the main cast is. Whenever you have a film with no likable characters you know that things are not going to end well. You need some good characters or your film’s going to fall through just like this one did. No amount of shock value is really going to help to cover that up. As soon as members of the Big 10 were all getting bumped off though I would have moved away if I were the rest of the kids. We’ve already established that they’re rich so that’s the best thing to do. Just jet out of there! I’d also ask for Police Protection, the last thing I’ll do is head to the graveyard by myself again in the dead of night…..

Overall 1/10

Attack of the Crab Monsters Review

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Whenever you see a title like this you know you’re going to be in for a good time. They just don’t make creature features like this one anymore. At the same time Roger Corman usually only delivers pretty bad film experiences at least from the titles that I’ve seen so this was really a close one. Would it be amazing, terrible, or somewhere in the middle? I wasn’t sure if I was ready to find out but then it was time to dive in and it actually worked out quite well. This is definitely his definitive title at the moment.

The movie starts by introducing us to the main cast. They’re not exactly the most memorable characters but you’ll quickly get the dynamic. You’ve got the main heroine Martha who is an experienced biologist. She is going to an island along with fellow scientists Dale, Hank, and a few other people. This group is trying to do some research on the radiation that covered this island not too long ago. I feel like they should have protective suits but I suppose at this time it wasn’t really known quite how long radiation would tend to linger in the area. Well, everything appears normal at first until it turns out that the radiation has changed the Crabs in the area. Now there are huge Crabs roaming the area and murdering people left and right. The heroes want to get off the island but it isn’t really an option at the moment because of huge storms. When you try to escape your plane either blows up or you fall into the ocean and get obliterated. Making things worse is the fact that they can hear the voices of their dead friends.

One thing that really differentiated this from your classic monster film is the whole ghosts aspect. Now it seems like there are ghosts around but there’s actually a great deal of intelligence on the crabs part making it seem that way. Here’s where things get pretty interesting. The film has an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers element to it on top of the classic Godzilla action. There’s even a bit of a mental thriller aspect here. So the Crabs have the ability to mimic the people they murder as well as hold onto their memories. They turn these people into their arms of sorts and also get regeneration. It’s sort of like a hivemind of sorts. Once you are absorbed you can say goodbye to being a good guy. It made the enemies so much more interesting than they would usually be. I mean, a giant monster running around blowing people up works well too but I just liked this spin on things.

One of the best scenes in the film is when one character goes outside after hearing his friend call out to him. Now you do have to excuse the fact that this guy isn’t very smart at all since the “friend” is saying a lot of suspicious stuff like coming alone to the abandoned cave in the middle of the night and not to tell anyone. That should throw up a few red flags right? I mean…what friend would tell you that? Well, the guy goes anyway and does the whole “Where are you” yells while looking around. That’s when you hear the guy say “Right here man” in a very calm voice as a giant claw shows up and ends the guy. It’s a pretty intense scene partially because it’s so unexpected. I mean, you know foul play was involved from the start but I just wasn’t expecting these mastermind Crabs. It was really quite genius.

Now, that’s not to say that the movie is perfect of course. The writing is pretty solid but the characters are all very lacking in common sense. You wonder how they became such top notch scientists because they make a lot of mistakes here. Splitting up, entering abandoned caves, etc. Even by the end Hank gets way closer to the giant Crab than he needs to. You could have done the plan from a better distance. Then you’ve got Dale who is always trying to keep Martha out of the action but leaving her by herself isn’t really going to help her out much. I also question the scene with the Giant Crab in the closet and his reaction. He basically panicked and ran out but did the whole “Can’t tell you what’s going on” to Martha and split. You should probably mention the Giant Crab right away.

The movie has some pretty intense scenes like one guy’s head literally getting taken out but the film’s usually not very gruesome. It can be surprisingly intense for its age but it’s nothing too drastic so you should be okay. The Crabs just don’t take any prisoners and I could have told you that. I suppose the worst thing you can say about the film is that it’s fairly forgettable. The characters are all very traditional with personalities that just don’t stick. Martha’s a nice lady who knows a lot about science but does faint if things get too difficult. Dale is the everyday man of the group who does his best to cope with the situation but tends to snap a lot. Then you have Hank who can come up with ideas at times but isn’t even the smart one of the group because everyone here is relatively smart. Then there are two sailors who are around but you know that they’re doomed from the start.

The most annoying character is easily the oldest scientist. So he figures out that something is wrong almost immediately but refuses to say anything about it. He keeps telling the other characters that they’ll know eventually but that’s not very helpful in a life or death situation. He kind of goes out like a chump too. I dunno what the guys deal was. To me it felt like half the time he wanted the humans to lose to the Crabs but when he got bumped off he didn’t seem too keen on the idea anymore. Maybe the whole thing just played out better in his head? That’s the only explanation I can think of but it didn’t do him any wonders. Makes for some fun dynamics though.

Overall, Attack of the Crab Monsters is a pretty surreal film. It works really well though in large part due to how original it is. You just don’t see movies like this with the monsters actually having master plans and overwhelming the heroes like this. The main monster basically acted like a tactical genius and I suppose it makes sense with how many people he’s absorbed. The voices added to the effect and the movie just passes by real quickly. The characters aren’t very smart but I wouldn’t dock points for the film from that. The writing is still a lot of fun and this just feels like a very balanced movie. You really can’t go wrong here.

Overall 7/10

The Exterminating Angel Review

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When you see a title like “The Exterminating Angel” you know that things are about to get pretty intense. Well, that’s exactly what happened here. The movie can be pretty odd at times. The plot is certainly unique and I would say that the movie is good. It’s one of those films that knows when to end as I feel like if it had stayed going on for a bit longer it may have ultimately backfired pretty hard. There’s always a time to continue a plot and a time to end it. The film stayed within those parameters pretty well and stayed afloat right in the middle. I wouldn’t say that is any real replay value to be found here but it will definitely keep your interest on the initial watch.

The movie starts out with a bunch of friends getting together for a nice dinner. Unfortunately all of the hired help have decided to head out early for various reasons. The host is not happy about this but can’t exactly force them to stay. Unfortunately even after the dinner everyone is sticking around for some reason. As the next day rolls around people realize that something definitely isn’t right. For some reason they are unable to leave the main room. Keep in mind they can enter the kitchen and such but can’t leave the place. The rules of the boundaries seem to vary a bit but mainly you can’t leave the house and nobody can enter it either. That means the main characters are going to have to think of a plan quickly or it’s going to be game over for all of them.

In a way it’s a bit like the Children of the doomed film but instead of falling asleep the characters are just boxed in. It’s not like there’s a physical barrier blocking them or anything like that though. It’s just an invisible urge telling them not to go and none of the characters are brave enough to leave either. I personally take this to be a being blocking them. Perhaps some kind of demonic spirit masquerading itself as an Angel which would fit the title. The conditions for being stuck in the house seem to be rather specific with the time loop getting involved. I’m assuming this is a punishment of sorts to make the characters rethink their decisions. Through the dialogue we see that just about every character has done something rather suspect or is keeping a dark secret. Characters are cheating on each other, stealing, etc. Most of the people here don’t seem to be good people.

Some stay strong while others crack almost instantly. It really shows how the extended stay brings out each character’s true form. Some just aren’t up to handling this kind of pressure or they’re okay with hanging out with people for a bit but not for very long. I should say the film has a pretty fun ending as well. It definitely sets things up for possibly being an even more intense scenario. In this case the people inside are going to be crammed in even more than in the main scenario so I don’t see things ending particularly well for them. It’ll be a repeat of the original scenario except they won’t stay strong for nearly as long.

One of the main themes here is really about how anyone will crack so you just have to see how much you buy into it. There were quite a few big fights going on in the main place by the end. For my money it’s why I would be hesitant to go on any of those month vigils where you go with a group of people to the mountains or a resort and hang out for that period of time. Seems like it would be hard to just be stuck like that for so long. It’s not a good idea for sure.

I should mention that the film is in Spanish with subtitles throughout the film. I haven’t seen quite too many films in this language so it was pretty interesting. Mix that in with the fact that the dialogue can be rather strange intentionally and you’ve got some interesting writing here. I enjoyed it, the writing is part of what makes the film so interesting here. It can be tough to differentiate some of the characters though. Mainly the hosts stand out as well as the guy who was always acting out and his sister who would always defend him. The brother character cracked immediately and was easily the worst character in the film. All of his scenes were pretty painful and you would hope that the other characters would just tie him up or something. Breaking the comb was really unnecessary and all he would do was put the characters in a worse position. His sister was just as guilty for accepting all of this.

The best character would have to be the main host. He tried to keep up a certain aura of politeness throughout the whole movie even as everything went sideways. I don’t see how you can possibly blame him for any of this and yet one guest does. As if this guy could actually have known that this invisible force would block everyone in. The guy who died early on definitely had the easiest time in the film since he got to avoid this. He has a line about how he’s glad he will miss the Extermination so maybe since he was near to death he could actually see exactly what was blocking everyone. It definitely adds a little more credibility to this actually being a supernatural being blocking everyone in as opposed to just their psyches. I like the idea of the disembodied hand actually being the spirit wandering around looking for who to take down next.

Overall, The Exterminating Angel is a pretty interesting film. It’s all about seeing who will crack first and why you don’t want to be stuck in a room with everyone for very long. By the end the characters have all really started to turn on each other. I’d say that the best part of the film is certainly the first half as they slowly start to figure out what’s going on as well as the ending because the twist was a lot of fun. The second half isn’t quite as fun with all of the characters going crazy. It doesn’t go full on Lord of the Flies fortunately but with the characters being nice and awful at the end it isn’t quite as fun as it could have been. I would recommend checking this out at least once so you can see what an interesting plot this is. It’s certainly a very original story but you probably won’t be coming back for more.

Overall 5/10

The Last Unicorn Review

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The Last Unicorn is one of those films that sounds pretty intense right off the bat. Kind of reminds me of Pryzm the Dark Unicorn although the circumstances are pretty different. This is definitely a solid film that I would recommend. In general I would say the Unicorns look pretty bad here but I suppose the villains are just that tough. It’s definitely a film that has aged pretty well with the grand songs playing and the intense action sequences. It seems like this is a pretty easy movie to miss when going through all the classics but you’ll definitely owe it to yourself to check it out.

The movie starts with a Unicorn being told that she is the last of her kind. She refuses to believe this at first. After all, how would some random people know that the rest are gone? If anything then wouldn’t they have thought there were none left until they met her? There’s a little butterfly that flies around singing vague stuff so the Unicorn decides to check for herself. Unfortunately she is kidnapped by Fortuna and forced to be in an animal circus for misfits. She is freed by Schmendrick, a magician in training. They eventually add another comrade by the name of Molly. The Unicorn finds out that all of the Unicorns have been captured by King Haggard so she decides to free them. The tough part will be that he is guarded by the Red Bull, a being so powerful that even all of the Unicorns teaming up were unable to do much against him. This Unicorn is unsure that she will do much better either.

For most of the film this character is just known as the Unicorn. She gains a name once she is in her human form but for the review I’ll just stick to “Unicorn”. Unicorn doesn’t look great I have to say and I would not consider her to be one of the best characters here. Her goal is to save the Unicorns but her resolve quickly fades when the Red Bull shows up. She does not even try to fight him and immediately runs. Before she can be destroyed she is saved by Schmendrick but otherwise she would have been doomed right from the start. Not a great showing for a being who is supposed to be so incredibly powerful. Here’s another thing to think about while you’re at it. She was kidnapped by a second rate mage almost immediately. She could not break out of her cage.

So for the whole film I couldn’t buy into the Unicorn’s hype. She’s just not that powerful and it’s easy to see how the rest of her race all lost to a single bull. Then when she is saved at the cost of her immortality she is completely ungrateful. She pouts for a long time and then ultimately forgets her goals and fades even further. Even in her final confrontation she needs quite a lot of help to really push forward. She’s definitely got a full character arc here but it doesn’t really help her all that much. I was just not really a fan of hers and I would have gained a lot more respect if she had stuck to her goal of saving the Unicorns or just put up more of a fight. She basically lost every fight she was a part of.

Schmendrick is the other big character here as he keeps on working at his craft so that he can be a very powerful mage someday. He tries pretty hard and does come through when it counts. It’s pretty rough for him though since the others are always giving him a hard time and he has to do all of the difficult jobs. He’s a nice enough guy though and a decent supporting character. Molly’s another good comrade although her role is quite a bit smaller. She mainly serves as moral support for both the Unicorn and Schmendrick. Without her both of these characters would have given up at some point.

Then you have Lir who immediately falls for Unicorn while she’s in her human form. He means well even if the whole thing seemed futile for the most part. I can’t say I was a big fan of the romance but at least for Lir it’s not like he had a big master plan otherwise. In fact if Unicorn had told him about Haggard’s evil deeds and that he was threatening her I’m sure Lir would have stepped in. His best scene was at the end of the film when he asks for Schmendrick’s help in summoning and the guy says that it’s the hero’s job to help. Rather than point out that a mere human going up against a legendary monster made of fire is crazy, Lir just sucks it up and runs into the fight. He’s promptly taken out but the guy was brave to the end and did his best to protect the Unicorn. He went right into action there.

For the villains we’ve really got two main ones aside from the monster. The first villain to show up was Fortuna whose magical abilities are impressive. She is able to make very convincing illusions and her cages were sturdy enough where these creatures couldn’t break free so that’s not bad. She definitely had a pretty gruesome end though. Then you’ve got King Haggard who’s led a pretty successful criminal empire. He seems like the kind of villain who gets a bit overconfident though. Keep in mind that he could have ended things right away and the only reason the heroes were able to infiltrate so thoroughly was because he wanted to have some fun with them. He could have ended the Unicorn at any time which is saying something. He definitely runs a tight ship otherwise and is a pretty imposing villain.

Then you’ve got Red Bull who is the big monster taking everyone out. It’s a mindless monster that just seems to go after Unicorns automatically so if you shape shift then he’ll lose interest. I do question how he took all of the Unicorns down but if they lack courage the way the main one did then I suppose it may not have been too hard. I liked the design and the sheer ferociousness of the monster. Weakness against water is rough when the villain’s castle is built with a lake on all sides but it’s not like the Bull just disintegrates immediately or anything. If there were less opponents he probably still would have been able to claim the win.

The animation here is pretty smooth. It’s got that classic hand drawn feel which I always enjoy. The colors are sharp and I’d definitely be game with the company using this over the claymation/still motion techniques of the other titles. When in doubt always go with hand drawn and you can’t go wrong. The soundtrack is also on point here. There are quite a number of songs running around. While the quality may vary the best one is easily the Last Unicorn song. It’s pretty emotional and definitely makes the adventure feel pretty grand.

Overall, I would recommend checking out The Last Unicorn. It’s a pretty interesting film with a solid plot. It’s well balanced and has good pacing and writing to match. There’s really nothing bad to say about this film. I think it would have been even better with a different lead though. The Unicorn’s supreme confidence and attitude just wasn’t earned due to how weak she looked throughout the film. She really needed to get some wins or do something in the movie to show why the Unicorns are looked up to so much. We know that she has some magic so maybe just show us some of these offensive spells. Regardless, you do get to see Lir prove himself as a loyal hero always ready to defend the kingdom and his friends from evil.

Overall 7/10