Category Archives: 3 Star Games

Banjo-Tooie review

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Banjo-Tooie is one of those games that gets worse the longer you play it. Initially it isn’t so bad but as the worlds go on and the mechanics get more and more annoying, you really feel it. It’s a game that should only be around 12 hours long and yet it ends up getting stretched to over 30 hours. The game just keeps on going on and on and on. Even after you unlock the initial ending, then there is a true ending after that. The main goal of a game is to be fun but the problem is that this one stops being fun early on. It lacks every possible quality of life feature and that’s just a shame.

The game starts off with a few years passing since the first one. Gruntilda is back and she is definitely aiming to take her revenge on Banjo. It starts out well for her as she murders one of our friends. We have to take her down now and avenge him but to do that we will need to collect all of the Jiggies and stop a bunch of powerful monsters. This may sound like a tough mission but it’s nothing that Banjo hasn’t done before. He is a trained hero after all.

Okay so the basic gameplay style here is that of a 3D platformer. You run, jump, and fight your way through the levels to grab some Jiggies. There are 10 of them per level which can be gained by completing different tasks and sub missions within the world. You need 70 out of the 90 in order to get the true ending here. As you complete the worlds you will learn more and more abilities that let you get more Jiggies. So in that case you could almost call this a vania type of game. There is a lot of backtracking that you have to do over and over again.

The worlds are all connected by the hub world but another way to phrase that is you have to constantly be going to the hub world to then go back to the actual level. There is no instant travel or anything like that. There are shortcuts and warp points but none that will ever get you to where you want to go directly. Trust me when I say that is a very annoying thing. With a huge game like this that is absolutely a must.

Additionally the actual walking speed of Banjo is incredibly slow. You should run with Kazooie as much as possible but the more the game goes on, the more times you have to completely use Banjo to get the jiggy which means that running is not an option. Just travelling will take you a very long time. The game also has a gimmick where every world has you control Mumbo at different points and also transform into various objects. You have to go to their huts to do this and then to transform back you have to run all the way there. Often times they have to take different routes around the level which means even more places to explore.

The worst one is definitely the dinosaur world which is absolutely massive. In addition to the usual transformations your dinosaur mode has two forms. You guessed it…you have to run back to Mumbo’s each time to set this up and then go back to the magic tent. Nothing is made to be easy here and that is a massive problem. It’s not something you can just handwave either. Not when it takes hours upon hours to get past this.

The annoying part is that at first it’s actually rather fun. It’s enjoyable to first enter a world and start to check out each of the passageways and find the Jiggy that you are looking for. That is the heart of this genre after all. Where it all goes horribly wrong is when you have to keep on coming back. At the very least they should have a limit like you have to only revisit world 1 once, or something like that. It’s fine to gradually unlock new powers but you shouldn’t spread them out so completely. Every time you have to go back to the same worlds again is more time that is just wasted. It wasn’t planned out very well at all if you ask me.

The technical aspects of the game are surprisingly good though. The graphics are quite sharp with all of the character models being good and the stage deigns are on point. They hold up really well to the current day. Then there are quite a few catchy tunes to listen to in the game as well. At least that helps you to ignore how long you’ve been playing the game. It’s not enough to block the negatives to be honest but having a bad soundtrack would have made it all way worse that’s for sure.

Throw in some maps, basic descriptions of what’s missing and an effective quick travel. Adding those 3 things would do a whole lot of good for the game. Keep in mind that it took this long even with all of the rewinding and such to avoid going down random paths that lead nowhere. If not for that then this would be even worse. That’s a rather terrifying prospect because some Jiggies require an insane amount of platforming while others are very unrelenting with the damage count. A single death will send you wayyyyyyy back which is definitely something to consider. When I say there are no quality of life considerations here I really do mean it. They were all ditched long ago which is a real shame. his may be the most realistic treasure hunting game in the sense that it is so hard and you are given no direction but that’s no a good thing. The game manages to squander some really entertaining writing and a good story which is an absolutely tragic feat.

Overall, Banjo definitely fell down pretty hard here. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first by any means but it is worlds better than this one. Whenever you have a sequel that is worse than the first one then you’ve got a big problem. That kind of thing just should not be happening. The core concepts are here that could make this a good series but this game did not reach its potential. I’d definitely advise you to stay far away from this one. It’s just not worth the playthrough and makes for a very exhausting game.

Overall 3/10

A Little to the Left Review

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It’s time for a puzzle game and you know those can be very hit or miss for me. For these types of games I either want a good story or I want something that’s just a lot of fun and really addictive like gem matching. That’s where it’s at but this game unfortunately doesn’t seem to have either. There are a lot of levels so I can’t knock the game in terms of content but the puzzles themselves really aren’t very fun to play and that’s really a big deal. Ultimately I would even say that it’s a game breaking deal.

There isn’t really any kind of preview of build up when you start the game. You are thrown right into the mix. The puzzles are divided into around 5 chapters. Each chapter has over 20 puzzles and you try to solve them until you win. If you are totally stuck you can ask for a hint or skip the puzzle and return to it for later. The puzzles are generally about organizing things. For example, putting everything into a basket, lining up books from smallest to largest, etc. You’re mainly going things like this until you get to the end of the game. As you go on, the puzzles naturally get a lot tougher to figure out.

The toughest part here is that outside of asking for a hint, you are given no context to the puzzles whatsoever. You have to try and use deductive reasoning here which is an interesting idea in concept, but I don’t think it really works. I would like to at least have a basic idea of what I’m doing here. Some are self explanatory like with the books as you try to sort them from smallest to largest. Others are a lot trickier like where you have 3 paintings. It seem like you have to try and tilt them a little but I don’t get the logic of that one and the tilts didn’t seem to stick. I should mention now that there is also no tutorial on how the controls work.

You are just thrown into the mix and have to try and work it out. Again this could work depending on how the puzzle goes but this game was definitely not up to the task. I think one of the reasons for this is also how silent the game is. It could have really used a hype soundtrack. Even just 4-5 different songs that cycle through would add a whole lot of life to the game. Without that, it just ends up being completely forgotten and you will have soon left it in the dust. The fact that it’s not free by default was also a bit surprising for me.

Sometimes games just don’t click though and that’s just how it goes. Believe it or not I’ve still played worse games than this one. As negative as this one sounds, at least it is a very basic title that manages your expectations right from the jump. It could absolutely be wayyyyy worse than that. I guess if there was ever a sequel to this one, I would say it should add some kind of a basic plot even if it’s only through text. Maybe every puzzle you complete lets you learn about 2 paragraphs worth of new information. Some kind of hook right?

I’m not sure if there’s a post game here but with the large amount of puzzles the game has, it is already plenty long. It’s hard to picture anyone just flying by the game because of how varied the puzzles are. There will surely be some of them mixed in there that will give you a little trouble here and there. Those are the ones that you will definitely need to watch out for and while you can skip them, I assume you need to complete all puzzles to truly complete the game. Not that there is likely to be any kind of story ending though but maybe they did sneak a secret cutscene in at the end. Technically speaking, there’s no reason to assume that would be impossible right?

Overall, A Little to the Left is not a game I would recommend. There’s just not enough detail to it so it really ends up holding itself back. The controls are pretty simple yet sometimes not very intuitive. I could see this working as a mobile game between subway stations to buy yourself some time but as a full fledged video game I don’t see there being many reasons to pick this over something else. At least for people who really do enjoy the game, there is a lot to do here. For everyone else, yeah it’s time to go back to Professor Layton or something like that instead for the quality puzzle gameplay. That also has the added benefit of having a full fledged story mode with it as well. How do you top that?

Overall 3/10

It’s Kunio’s Dodgeball, Assemble Everyone! Review

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I thought about leaving the title untranslated considering that Nintendo didn’t even bother to translate this one at all but let me put in the extra effort here. Unfortunately this game isn’t particularly good. The dodgeball mechanics really don’t hold up very well at all and the game is just too simple. Sometimes being simple is good for a sports game but there has to be something really fun about it. This one feels very low effort even considering that it is such an old game. Ultimately this holds it back in a very big way. Without more variety, there really isn’t anything to keep you going here.

The game doesn’t really have a story so you’re just jumping into a big Dodgeball match. There are probably more customizations and modes out there but of course with all of the text in Japanese you’ve basically just gotta guess through everything anyway. So in the game your goal is of course to hit all of the players on the opposing team. You have to do this a few times and once a player has taken enough damage, he turns into a ghost and leaves the arena. If you can do this to everyone on the opposing team then you will have won. Of course they will try doing the same to you. So when they throw the ball at you, you can try to dodge, catch the ball, or duck. Either one of these options can work although the safest option is naturally to catch the ball. Additionally if you do that, then the one who threw the ball takes some damage.

To confuse the opponent, the best thing to do is pass the ball around. Often times the computer won’ be able to keep up and then you slam them with a shot. If you shoot the ball normally, odd are that it will be blocked or caught. So you don’t want to just be running in there and taking shots without a care in the world. If you don’t have some level of strategy then you’re going to lose. The A.I. is not even that bad if you play it cleanly. If you abuse the passing mechanics then you will win without any real effort but if you don’t do that, it can come down to the wire.

So the game has reasonable difficulty but that’s not enough to stave off the repetition. Additionally I don’t think they thought things out very well. There is no timer here so if you’re holding the ball then you don’t have to do anything. You can just keep on holding it or walking around and the other team can’t do anything about it. There needs to be a timer because otherwise the game will never go anywhere. Additionally it just makes more sense. Of course with gentleman rules you can assume people won’t hold onto the ball but the fact that it’s possible isn’t a good look to the game in general.

We do have some super attacks like throwing the ball so hard it turns into an energy blast. It looks cool but the opponents still catch it every time so don’t bother with it too much. You’re better off with the trick of passing it until you get a good shot. In terms of graphics, the game’s not awful but it does feel like most of the sprites are effectively the same one just tweaked a bit. It doesn’t feel very high budget and the one song isn’t very inspiring. I would consider this to be one of the original cash grabs to be honest. Imagine spending money on this game? I’d be so sad I’d probably be in tears by the end. This is the kind of game you have fun with for a super brief time that wouldn’t even justify a Blockbuster rental. I’m glad I played it of course, but really only to warn you all about it. I’ve played better NES games and this is a generation after that.

It’s also a shame because as it is there aren’t very many Dodgeball games. It’s weird because the game feels perfect for one to be turned into a game. You have to be running, jumping, evading, etc. These are all really cool things to do in game and they directly translate into controls. There is no real RNG in Dodgeball either so it would be a satisfying win/loss. Hopefully Nintendo makes a full on Mario Dodgeball at some point to how the world how it’s done because we desperately need that.

Overall, This game just won’t hold your attention for very long. There is really not a whole lot to the game as it is. One mode and one stage can only take you so far. I had fun messing around in the game by passing the ball back and forth over and over again but even that can only stay amusing for so long. Unless you are a mega fan of Dodgeball then there really isn’t anything for you here. I would say this one’s worth a skip. Just go on to the next game because you will be done with this one within 15 minutes or so.

Overall 3/10

Urban Champion Review

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It’s time for one of those Nintendo games that was unfortunately very weak. I appreciate that they were trying to make a fighting game and of course this is very old but it just didn’t really land at all. The game is way too limited and there is virtually no replay value to be found here. The entire time you’re just hoping there is something you may have missed but ultimately that is not the case. Definitely give this one a full skip and you will be glad that you did. It is not worthy of the champion’s title.

The game really only has two modes. 2 player mode and then single player mode. In each mode, you only have one stage. You have to knock the opponent out 3 times in order to win. When you knock him into a manhole or off the block, then the fight continues with the same kind of background, except they change the store’s name. Yeah that’s not exactly what I would call top budget now is it? I expected better from Nintendo. Both characters are really the same sprite, only slightly color swapped so even that isn’t very original.

The controls are simple as you have a high punch and a low punch. That’s it, there are no other controls here so I hope you enjoyed throwing those shots. Beyond that you just aren’t going to have much left in the tank. I imagine playing with someone else will add a little bit of enjoyment to the game overall but probably not enough to leave a real dent. I don’t think almost any game can pull off the enjoyment factor with a single stage. Pac Man was one of the original games with 1 stage and probably the only one that could pull it off. The thing is…this isn’t Pac Man. It’s definitely not built for that level of success by any margin.

So the graphics aren’t particularly solid, the soundtrack is forgettable….we’re not looking at a very positive game right here. There are no unlockables so there is no replay value. I guess you could say that it’s fun to see the character sort of looking like Mario as he’s throwing punches but that’s just not enough of a hook to get you to play the game. Also you can cheese the main mode a bit by spamming the punch button. Often times the opponent will not be fast enough to block your moves which means you can completely bypass the strategy elements of the game. Not that there is a ton considering there are only two kinds of moves but clearly the intent was there with how the blocking system works. When you don’t move, you block automatically so that’s something to think about.

Overall, Urban Champion is not a good game. It’s one of those titles that you will forget right away because there’s nothing memorable about it. There is no aspect of this game that has held up well over the years at all. I would like Nintendo to consider a modern remake of the game but at the same time there would be little point. Just restart the series from scratch with a whole new name and brand. If you think about it, that would really be the only way to handle this unless you wanted to target the real hardcore fans for nostalgia. Even for free I wouldn’t bother playing this game. There’s just no reason to do so and it’s so limited that there isn’t even much to talk about for this title. Trust me, you’ll know what I mean if you ever decide to play this title.

Overall 3/10

Godzilla Battle Line Review

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It’s time to jump into the next Godzilla app game but I’m afraid to say that this one is not very good. It’s one of those app games that is a clear cash grab from start to finish. Nothing about the game is very enjoyable to me. It was just missing the key elements to make this a high quality title like fast paced gameplay, quality fights, etc. In the end the strategy styled gameplay just didn’t have anything on the console Godzilla games and this one would have been better off with a connect the dots gameplay style like Fruits Mania. At least that gameplay style is always guaranteed to be off the walls hype. I generally play over 100 levels of that gameplay style real quick.

Okay so this is similar to Digimon Championship in that you don’t control the Kaiju themselves. You throw them onto the field and then they move towards the enemy. Along the way you can drop them some assistance, items, and such. These will be the difference between victory and defeat so definitely pay very close attention here. If you make the wrong call then that could be it for you. That’s about it, I mean I’m over simplifying this by quite a lot but that’s about the size of it. It all comes down to who has the better strategy and monster team.

I can say that the cast of Kaiju in the game is pretty impressive though. You’ve got numerous different Godzillas running around and pretty much every Kaiju you can think of. The game didn’t feel too greedy in terms of what you need to pay for but granted, they tend to all seem that way at first. I would probably have to stick with this game much longer to see if that is really true or not. The gameplay just wasn’t fun enough to hold me.

So okay, what’s the problem with the gameplay? Well because I can’t control the Kaiju, it feels more like I’m just watching the A.I. attack each other. It’s not interactive enough for me. It’s like watching computers playing against each other in a game, it may be interesting for a minute but for the whole game? No shottttt, that’s just not my cup of tea. What I need is to be doing something. Let me assume direct control of the Kaiju so I could go over there and take the enemy down. I would pull it off even if my opponent had a higher power level or something like that. You’re missing the human touch with this kind of setup.

The graphics aren’t bad at least. It’s not really something to write home about but the chibi character models are good and I liked the explosion effects. As a whole it really doesn’t look super bad or anything but of course it does completely look like a mobile game the instant you lay your eyes on this one. There is really no escaping that fact, that’s for sure. The soundtrack is completely forgettable. You won’t remember the tunes by the end, it’s definitely not the kind of game to sneak in some kind of lyrical song or big metal tune.

At least I can say that the replay value is basically infinite. You can keep on playing until you are the number 1 ranked player in the world or something like that. It is definitely a tough road to the top but if you keep on practicing then anything is achievable. The fact that the game is still going means that at least some people are still playing here and after taking a quick look online I see a lot of positive reviews for it. Granted, the people who are searching up videos for the game are probably fans first and foremost so that makes a lot of sense. They would be more likely to enjoy the game and so I hope their community is able to stay strong. This may not be a game that I was particularly interested in but the plus side is that it helps to continue keeping the Godzilla brand nice and strong. I’m still waiting for that big Godzilla vs Kong game which is supposed to be coming out in early September. Hopefully that one is a lot more fun.

Overall, Godzilla Battle Line is lacking way too much in the actual battling. You’re not fighting here and I know that this is a strategy game but even then I need to be doing something. If I have my hands empty for so long it just doesn’t feel like I’m really playing a game at all. If you’re going to pull off a strategy game like this I dare say that the levels have to be shorter or you have to find some way to make the player more engaged. The original Godzilla mobile game was also strategy oriented but it was a lot more fun as you planned out your resources. That was interactive and high stakes. This game couldn’t quite match up to that no matter how hard it tried.

Overall 3/10

FIA European Truck Racing Championship Review

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There comes a time when a game’s enthusiasm for being super detailed and like a simulator starts to work against it. This is definitely one of those times. No matter how many points I may give the title for being realistic, I am taking far more of them away for taking away the game’s ability to be fun. At the end of the day for a video game being entertaining is absolutely king. Without that, there is just nothing left.

The game starts you off with an incredibly detailed tutorial mode. You have to clear this in order to even start racing and unfortunately the tutorial is over 12 levels long and each one is rather difficult. I was not able to complete all of the tutorials in the end so I didn’t even get to the main part of the game. That’s crazyyyy! You could say it’s a skill issue but I’d call it a gaming issue instead tbh. The game should allow you to start rolling right away and if the controls are so detailed that you need over 10 tutorial levels then that is absolutely another issue right there. You just can’t come back from that, it’s not a smart way to set up your game.

The actual gameplay starts off like your classic driving title where you have to drive, brake, and zoom around but here’s where things change. Because you’re playing as a giant truck, when you break, the back half doesn’t slow down at the same speed. So in an ordinary game you would break and then seamlessly turn right. If you try that here then you’re going to go way too far right and the whole thing goes out of balance. Instead you have to go about this very slowly and methodically.

Additionally your brakes can overheat. You have to remember to cool them as you are braking. If you don’t then that’s another problem to deal with. Specifically this was the level that stumped me when I was playing the game. You had to keep your truck’s temperature at just the right amount or you would automatically lose. Doing this while navigating the whole course with a lot of turns ended up being too much. You can’t go off road either or you lose instantly.

There are too many restrictions here. You never get to just race and that’s a shame. The soundtrack is mainly forgettable but the graphics are actually rather good. I do think that the game put some real heart into that part. And of course, while I don’t like the overly advanced realism, fans of the genre will probably love it. So I definitely get that, it’s just that it doesn’t feel right for a game. So if you super love trucks and want to be able to master the craft then this is a good title to check out. For just about any other gamer though, there isn’t any real reason to play this one.

I suppose in a way there is a ton of replay value here since the levels are so hard. After that you can also enter tournaments and rank up and everything. I imagine that getting the Platinum trophy in this game would be incredibly difficult. Definitely not something for the faint of heart that’s for sure. Even if I spent 50+ hours on this game I’m not sure I could pull it off but hey it does give you a tangible objective/prize to shoot for. You just gotta give it your all.

Man, if this game had an arcade style controls option that could have saved the whole thing. At least make it an alternate mode or something where you are just driving. That would have done a world of good and then you still have the advanced controls for everyone else. Perhaps this is just me being a little salted though. So hey I respect what the game was trying to do, it just didn’t end up working out.

Overall, FIA, is definitely not one of the top games. If anything it’s not even one of the mediocre games. This is one of the lowest ranking titles that I’ve played and it’s because the game isn’t fun. When you restrict the gameplay to this extent then you defeat the whole purpose of playing the game. I want to be able to just cut loose and feel the wind passing me by as I style on everyone. That’s the whole point of all this ya know? Instead what happens here is you are stuck behind a bunch of red tape which has no place being in a video game. Definitely give this one a skip as fast as you can.

Overall 3/10

Columns Review

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All right it’s time for our next Genesis title but this one’s not one of the more impressive ones. In fact you could say that this is one of the weakest ones. I’m not totally sure what they were going for here except to say that it did not work. It’s a puzzle game that’s similar to Tetris and other matching games but the big difference here is that you can’t rotate the pieces sideways. They just go from up to down and that’s about it which to me makes the game not quite as fun. There’s still a lot of strategy so I won’t say in any way that this makes it more basic but it’s tougher to really land the combos that you want.

When you launch the game there is only one main mode here. You can play it on easy, normal, or hard. Beyond that the game is exactly he same on all 3 modes and the only difference is the speed at which the pieces fall down and also the points that you start with. On easy mode you start with 0, 20,000 on normal mode, and 50,000 on hard mode. What this means if you should always play hard mode because even if you lose almost immediately, you have so many points that it adds up. At least me personally it feels like the right way to go. Now if you can’t move the pieces on their sides, how do you get matches?

Well each tile has 3 colors so what you can do is change the orders of the colors on the block even though you can’t turn it. It’s definitely a tricky one and it’s hard to get the hang of it. You really have to forget everything you’ve learned about matching games previously and then get used to these rules. Otherwise you will really just end up playing yourself the whole time and putting yourself in a rough spot. Even by the end when playing this game I felt like I was making most of my matches by mistake. It was super hard to actually plan for them and more often than not I would just end up losing eventually without knowing what I was really doing.

The core problem is that as a result the game just isn’t super fun. It’s not awful or anything but there’s virtually nothing to do in the game. It’s as basic as possible and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing but then you really need an excellent gameplay style. Just being okay is not nearly good enough and that’s the real problem here. Give me some different backgrounds or something. Of course a story mode is the number one factor that would be super hype but these are other things that could have helped more. More songs, backgrounds, modes, etc.

As it stands this game is just too barebones and has not aged particularly well. There is really no particular reason to play this game as long as many others exist. I will just naturally find myself gravitating to those instead and I’m sure that the same is true for many gamers which is why you never hear about this title nowadays. The graphics are okay but it’s not like there is much on the screen for the game to show off either. So what you have is a game that is absolutely stuck without the ability to improve.

Also I’m pretty sure this is more of a Nintendo Switch Online thing than with the actual game or at least I hope that is the case but the game does not save your high score. Yes, you heard that right. It goes back to 0 each time so every time you play the game says that you now have the high score. A little suspect eh? That also takes away from wanting to play for too long because yeah you can write the high score down but how long will you actually remember it? It’s a real load off your mind to have the game store this kind of basic information instead of you.

Overall, There isn’t a lot of replay value here because you’ll basically just be playing the same level over and over and over again with nothing much beyond that. Nobody is going to be spending that amount of time on a single game for very long. It just wouldn’t make sense. You know it and I know it. I’d like to think that this would have potential with a modern day remake but I do think you would need a ton of bells and whistles to make it worth the purchase. Otherwise I would really just go with the classic Tetris style instead because I find it to be more fun. That’s what it really boils down to in the end.

Overall 3/10

Ecco the Dolphin Review

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It’s time to take a look at a game that is pretty well known for the Genesis, but is it actually good? That’s always the key question in these kinds of things and unfortunately I can confirm that it’s not one of the top titles. It is missing a lot of quality of life features that could have helped it out a whole lot like more of a full map, more of a tutorial on the controls, and just more signage in general. I should know where I have to go at all times. Instead of being a fun fast paced adventure, it ends up getting lost in the weeds.

The general plot is definitely pretty crazy especially if you haven’t read the booklet or anything. Some Dolphins are splashing around when there’s a giant tremor and a bunch of trippy lights appear. The whole crew is scattered and there may be something very sci-fi going on around the place. Ecco (Why isn’t he called Echo tho?) has to stop these invaders and creatures that are certainly not from Earth while also making sure that the rest of the Dolphins are okay. You meet up with one of them again in level 1 but he doesn’t really do anything. So really you are on your own here, Ecco is the last chance for all of Dolphin kind.

I think you’ve got a solid intro right there but the real problem is once you get onto the gameplay part. You only have 3 real controls here, acceleration, attack, and sonar. You’ll be using them all quite a lot as you go through the game but there are definitely some issues here. First off, it’s often hard to know exactly where you are even going. You might want to go right but then that’s not the right way and you’ll be blocked by a crystal. You try to go left and then you get stumped that way as well. You can try to pull off a lap and go the other way but then you’re still busted.

After a lot of trial and error you’ll see that this is really a puzzle game. You have to activate different crystals with your sonar which gives you the ability to move another crystal out of your way. Eventually you will have them all out of the way and then you can really move forward. So that’s pretty good but then there’s another problem, you have an air supply. You have to routinely find an area where you can go above water to replenish that or you instantly lose and go back to the very beginning of the level. Yes, the very beginning so you have to re-complete all of the puzzles again.

Ecco is a really fast creature but that works to your detriment most of the time as it means that you will be crashing into monsters constantly. Looking for a safe area? Crash! Looking for the next puzzle? Crash! It just keeps on happening and while you do have a few health points, you will quickly lose them every time. There is just no real safe zone here. Part of the problem is that the game isn’t ready for Ecco’s level of speed which means that crashing into everyone and everything is basically inevitable. If you go too slow then you’ll run out of oxygen after all. At least the game does remember the enemies that you’ve defeated so you can really take the slow and methodical approach but it also means that every level will probably take forever.

I can’t imagine trying to complete this without access points. It feels like it would be absolutely crazy. Once in a while I do get the feeling that I wouldn’t have been quite as big a gamer as I am nowadays if this was the era I started off on. Of course there were still a lot of solid games back then but it feels like tons of them were really unforgiving. Making constant save points a regular thing in the modern era was definitely a great move.

I can at least say that the graphics are pretty good here. The game looks nice all the way through and I didn’t have any issue there. The soundtrack is a bit more on the forgettable side but I’ve definitely heard worse. Also, I probably didn’t hear most of the soundtrack because of how early I died here. My understanding is that the length of the game is fairly short but at the same time I think you have to account for the difficulty level. So because of that this would be one of the longer Genesis titles. It’s not enough to win me over to their side or anything like that but it’s definitely worth noting. You do at least get a lot of bang for your buck.

Overall, Ecco the Dolphin is a game that had some potential but ultimately the gameplay just wasn’t all that fun. That is a massive problem because without fun gameplay you don’t really have anything. You need that in order to take the win. So we need to redo this game from the ground up. I would argue even the core gameplay should change because while there can be good quality of life features that come in, they won’t be enough on their own to turn this around. Maybe they can prove me wrong, I’ll probably play more Ecco games at some point and I have to imagine that they will beat this one. This is one of the rare titles where I would tell you to skip it for now. There just isn’t much reason to check this one out. When you boil a game down to the basics, it is all about having fun and so if you aren’t having fun then you are out of luck.

Overall 3/10

Monster Squad Rush Review

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There comes a time in everyone’s life where they see an advertisement for something that looks pretty cool but you know that it’s definitely got to be fake. Still you want to try it out and that was how I was introduced to the Monster Squad Rush. The advertisements for this looked pretty fun as it was an endless runner within the Pokemon universe. Who wouldn’t want to play it right? Well the game has fun gameplay and some pretty neat features but ultimately it is all completely squandered by the unrelenting barrage of advertisements everywhere you go.

The main mode has you running down a road and you will need to grab as many Pokeballs and gems as possible. Pokemon will stand in your way and you catch them by hitting them with the Pokeballs which is automatic as you run forward. At the end of the level you go up against a boss Pokemon and when you defeat him you will gain more knowledge of the Pokemon. Once that’s at 100% you can catch it. If you watch an ad then you can double the initial scan and catch him in less tries. After that you move on to the next level. Rinse and repeat. Its a very simple formula and you just keep on going so this had the potential to be really fun as you keep on going through. I know there are over 160 levels at least.

There is also quite the character cast here. You’ve got Brock from Pokemon, (No Ash despite all the ads) Iron Man, Spider-Man, Venom, and Lady Deadpool from Marvel. Superman from DC. The girl from Overwatch. And finally Naruto himself. Thanks to a glitch I unlocked them all even though you’re supposed to play tournaments and do a bunch of events to slowly get them. Obviously the game doesn’t have the rights to these guys so it’s impressive that they got them all together. It feels like a true superstars endless racing game. They don’t effect the gameplay at all as this is purely a costume change but it’s still cool.

Now the issue here is the advertisements as I mentioned. After each level there is an ad that plays for a while before you can skip it. When you’re starting a level there is another ad that plays. When you beat the boss there is another ad that plays. All new hats, characters, and bosses are hidden behind ads as well. Each of these ads are complete videos for the same games over and over again which is annoying. By the time I made it to the 8th level I knew that was it for me. The ads are just too annoying and frequent.

I know you have to keep the game free somehow but there’s no way you have to include this many video ads. I’ve played my share of app games in the past and this has to be the most egregious yet. There’s just no way to really play the game smoothly. On the way to level 8 I passed well over 10 video ads and so at that pace the game is way too slow. I really enjoy endless runners but not enough to put up with that for very long. So this is a game that I definitely would say to stay away from. It’s not like there is a ton of content to unlock either. I think that’s why it is padded out with ads because otherwise you’d beat the game quickly and then there wouldn’t be much else to do. Sure you could keep playing the endless runner levels but with nothing to unlock that wouldn’t be quite as smooth.

Another big shot against the game is that there is no music. Not “Barely any music” but literally no music. They couldn’t be bothered to even get free domain songs in there so you’re going to need to open up Pandora in the background so you have something to listen to. There are sound effects yes but that’s it and it’s always eery to play a game with no music but just the sounds going in. It didn’t really work for me tbh. It certainly doesn’t do anything to try and make the game a little more fun.

I’ll say that the graphics are okay at least. I would consider it to be fairly low among app games and doesn’t look nearly as good as any of the official ones but at least you can tell who the characters are. It’s not so bad that everyone is completely off model or anything like that so I can still give the game some credit there. Bright visuals just aren’t going to be nearly enough to get me to stick around either, I need more than that.

Overall, Monster Squad Rush is a bad game. It relies too much on ads instead of developing good game content that will keep you going. It also boasts about paying some money to remove the ads for a while which shows you how greedy the game is. If you want to have optional video ads to increase your points or something then that would be fine. I’ve played many mobile games that had optional ad videos which worked well but the issue is when they are all mandatory. That’s when you really get into quite the pickle and end up sabotaging your entire game right at the jump. If only the game could have played things a bit smarter but as it is I’ve now deleted the game from my phone and it’s back to the Mega Man X Dive/Pokemon Go tag team combo.

Overall 3/10

Battlestar Galactica Review

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Battlestar Galactica is one of those games that should have been good by all accounts. It’s a Sci-Fi game like Star Fox with a direct plot involving aliens and a main character who’s already showing some sass in the first level. How could it fumble the ball this hard? Well, unfortunately the controls are pretty bad and the game design is even worse. You have to be prepared for an incredibly long level and if you die at any point during it there are no checkpoints. That’s exactly the kind of thing that you don’t want to do.

The game starts off with a bunch of alien robots showing up. They want to destroy the Galactica. Your mission is to stop them and prevent the Galactica from being destroyed. Simple enough right? Unfortunately not really and this was the last level I would see. I gave it a whirl for around 3-4 hours but it was just not enough to get through. You have to see the same cutscenes and dialogue each time too which can get old. The main character constantly saying that he’s not a cadet but the other characters mock him anyway gets old pretty quick. It’s a shame because the main guy had some potential here.

The core gameplay is that you’re in a 3D environment where you have to fly in and start taking names. You have your main weapon, your sub weapon, boosters, and a few other tricks up your sleeve. You can reallocate your stats to increase attack or speed. Additionally you have charge missiles and other weapons by holding down each button. I think this may have been part of the problem though. The game just got a little too ambitious with all of this. At the end of the day the main issue here is there are too many controls. You have so many different attacks and movement options that none of them are actually reliable.

Then you have the fact that the levels are massive so it feels like you are never making any progress. I’m telling you, I’ve gone through that exact same intro so many times in this game that it’s incredibly old at this point. It’s just the same dialogue options over and over and over again. You really need a checkpoint system in this game or in any game with long levels for that matter. The worst feeling is dumping a few hours into something without anything to show for it. While minor, I’d say at least adding a play time ticker somewhere in the game would do it wonders. Then I could at least put that down somewhere as a quick achievement. Without it, the game feels like an empty experience.

The graphics are really good at least. The game looks surprisingly solid for the PS2 era and you could make a case for this looking like a PS3 game. It’s got full voice acting and the soundtrack is on point as well. On a technical level this game can hold its own and that’s more than I can say for other games at this level. That’s part of why the whole situation is tragic since at least some of the departments working on this game seemed to try hard. Just not hard enough to really make this a good game.

So, how would I fix this? Well, aside from adding checkpoints I would remove some of the control options. We shouldn’t have 3 different ways to boost. Make R1 the boost option and otherwise you are accelerating by default. L1 will be to slow down. Square button will fire the homing rockets. No need to have it twice. I would make the lock-on system a whole lot more pronounced so you don’t have to be wondering where the enemies are. Remove the team strategy options or just make it something you control from the pause menu. Same for redistributing your skills in the level, that should be through the pause menu. Now with this we’re cooking with gas.

Next up, instead of making each level 20-30 minutes and only having 7 levels in the game, make it 21 shorter levels. Each level is the objective so the length is more akin to what an average Star Wars or Star Fox level is like. Bite sized levels like that are perfect for objective based games like this one. For that matter they make a lot more sense as well. With these changes I think you can instantly bump this game all the way up to a 7. It would feel like a completely different game in a good way.

Of course at the end of the day that’s all just wish fulfillment. The game exists and nothing’s really going to change that. Perhaps if the developers see this they can use it for context on their next game though. For some reason sci-fi games just tend to have a lot of issues I’ve noticed. Star Trek hasn’t exactly hit it out of the park and then you had that game about visiting planets a while back. Star Wars has had its hits but it’s also definitely had some titles that didn’t hit people the way you would have hoped they did. I don’t get what’s so hard to make about a space shooter. Just look at Star Fox Assault for a good idea of how to handle it. That game is quite old by now and yet to this day it is easily the best sci-fi shooter I’ve ever seen. It could handle both aerial combat as well as on the ground. It’s a true legend.

Overall, Battlestar Galactica is not a franchise that I’ve ever started and this game definitely wouldn’t help me to turn around on that. It’s just not a very well developed game with the level designs being too long and the controls are overly complex. The series in general always seemed like an alternate version of Star Trek so there’s a lot of potential there. We just need a modern game version to really adapt the series and give it more respect with the fundamentals. I think if you handle this right then you may definitely have something here. Until then though, stay far away from this game and buy Star Fox Assault instead. You’ll be glad you did.

Overall 3/10