Category Archives: Reviews

Spongebob Squarepants Lights Camera Pants Review

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I’m always up for a retro Gamecube game and I got this one as a souvenir from my very first SSB4 tournament. It’s a Spongebob party game so I thought that it would make for a decent playthrough and who knows…maybe it would be a lot of fun! Unfortunately, it was actually less fun than I had expected and that’s mainly due to the lack of options within the game. It’s very short and compact to the point where I feel bad for anyone who may have bought this on day 1 at full price. I shudder at the thought!

The plot of the game revolves around an episode that is being created about Mermaid Man. The director is looking for actors willing to grab the roles that are left, but they’ll have to earn them by playing a lot of games. Spongebob and friends are up for the job! There’s not much of a story though because every cutscene is basically just the director talking to the organizer of the event. Rinse and repeat a few times until the commercial is done. The game is incredibly short as a result. Each area has 3 mini games to complete and then you move on to the next area. I forgot how many areas there are, but one playthrough should be enough to easily get through the game. It’ll take you around 2-3 hours I believe and if you skip cutscenes, then that total significantly decreases.

One of the problems about the cutscene at the end is that it isn’t handled well. Every time you beat an area, you get to see one scene from the episode. Once you beat the game…you get to see the full episode. The problem is that you’ve already watched 90% of it so instead of enjoying the final product, it’s just really boring. The episode has such low replay value that even just watching it a second time isn’t very long. It’s also about as long as a real episode so that final cutscene just drags on and on. I would actually recommend just skipping it since it’s unlikely to get you hyped or impressed.

Granted, the episode had some good lines in it. I forgot how old Mermaid Man was nowadays and he just doesn’t understand anything that’s happening. It’s like Knuckles from Sonic Boom, but not nearly as funny. I can see the humor of Mermaid Man though and he’s decently funny, but I’m not sure if the other characters can keep up. It’s purposefully campy like the classic Superfriends so a show about Mermaid Man would have some potential, but again…I wouldn’t want to see any episode twice. At least not twice in the same day!

As for the gameplay, some of the minigames do have potential, but nothing is handled right. Every minigame has a mandatory timer so that none of them can end before 3 minutes. (Typically) This means that even the most enjoyable of games will start to drag on. I’ve always preferred stocks/lives/health points to a timer system since it encourages you to get good and really take on your opponents. With a timer system, you can build a big lead, but you’ll still have to wait for the timer to finish. It’s just not fun and drags the minigames down.

The best minigame is easily the one that ripped off Mario Party. I’ve noticed that just about every party game rips this minigame off, but that’s a good thing since it’s always fun. You have to balance on a ball of sorts and knock your opponents off. It’s fun, but the area is so small that it can be very hard to do anything without falling. You could say that this takes skills or you could say that the game tried too hard to make it an even playing field for newcomers and pros alike so a lot of the enjoyment was squeezed out. Nonetheless, this is the best minigame in the whole collection. (Again, not much of a collection though) There’s a nice car minigame and climbing the mountain is decent as long as your partner doesn’t sabotage you. There’s even a nifty Soccer game. Again, the problem is that you have to play these games until the timer ends and some of the minigames actually end up copying each other, which isn’t cool. In such a short game, this is pretty unacceptable.

Even the enjoyable games could have been better if the company had put more of an effort into the project. This game is definitely a cash in and may have been phoned in by the devs. I can only imagine what the reviews would be like nowadays for a game like this one. Spongebob was apparently a good show back in the day (It never caught my eye) so it deserves a lot better than this.

I’d say that the graphics are decently good. They won’t be something to write home about like Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, but they’re not that bad either. They’re essentially a nonfactor while playing the minigames. You can still tell what and where everything is and that’s the important thing. The game will be over before you know it after all. There’s not really a soundtrack to speak of. Any tunes that were in the game were instantly and completely forgotten. That’s the problem with having such a forgettable soundtrack.

There is also no real replay value here. Why are most of the minigames 2 vs 2 contests? That doesn’t really make sense for a party game. If you’re a group of 3, then one person is going to have to be with the computer and I can assure you that you won’t have a great experience. There are a few free for all contests, but it’s a very small number of them. I don’t understand the thought process that went behind this and maybe the developers forgot that they were making a game midway through. Once you have beaten the game, there’s really nothing to do. The only thing that you have for replay value is really just playing the minigames again a few times. Yeah…I don’t think I want to do that anytime soon. You can go for the high scores, but that’s not much of an incentive either. This game is definitely lacking in bonus content.

Overall, This is a game that’s best left on the forgotten shelves. I planned to get a few other Spongebob games, but that might have to wait for a while after this. The next time that I want a Gamecube game, I’ll just get Kirby Air Ride or Gotcha Force. Granted, Gotcha Force is going for 100 dollars and up right now so it’ll also have to wait for a little while. There’s really no reason to get this game and the only reason that it’s not lower is that some of the minigames are decent. It’s not borderline unplayable or anything like that, but there is no reason to play it. This would be a bad game if it didn’t even have that or if it forced you to keep on playing them over and over again in a very stretched out story mode. Either way, I do not recommend this title and you’re better off getting just about anything else. I was really torn between giving this game a 4 or a 5 and in the end, I had to go with my gut.

Overall 4/10

Ten Little Indians Review

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I saw the original adaption of the novel a while back and it was pretty good. I’d say that this film was also enjoyable and at about the same level even though it was clearly not as good as the original. Just about anything that this film could do, the older one could do better. I do wonder how a more modern adaption of this film would go, no doubt it would probably not be as good. That being said, I’d love to see an ensemble cast try to tackle this film. We could have Tom Cruise, Matt Damon, Chris Pratt, Arnie, Chuck Norris, and whoever else is super popular at the moment. It would be an interesting mix of personalities, which is why ensemble films are typically so fun.

As you may expect, ten people are invited to a mysterious place over on a mountain. The host invited everyone over on false pretenses, but once the ten arrive at the mansion he is nowhere to be seen. Instead they listen to a recording which exposes their previous murders and the characters start to die off one by one in ways that are very similar to how the 10 little Indians went out in a poem. Can they figure out which person among them is actually the nefarious host or are they all doomed to simply fade away into oblivion?

I quickly have to mention one big change from the first film which wasn’t cool. The original adaption had a fisherman who drove everyone to the island. The first adaption ended with him walking up slowly to the mansion while eating a sandwich. It was a humorous way to end the murder thriller and you could tell that this was someone that you didn’t mess with. Even the murderer wanted nothing to do with him. Unfortunately, this version took place on a mountain so there was no boat ride to begin with. A bit of a missed opportunity if you ask me.

As I mentioned earlier, there are other aspects where this film isn’t as good. For starters, we have Mike. He was a decent character in the first film and a music guy who may not have had much of a personality, but it wasn’t a bad one. Here, he’s only interested in romance and just staring at another character who rejects him. It’s a negative change that just doesn’t work for me here. It’s not like most of the characters are that good anyway though. I’m not a fan of any character in particular at this point, but better to be a non character than a bad one right?

This film was slightly modernized though, which wasn’t a good thing. The romance isn’t handled as well as in the first film where it was pretty much nonexistence. Here, the characters are very quick to forget the danger and engage in their romance, but it’s not fitting considering the situation. As such, Ann and Hugh aren’t very likable characters. Hugh is the James Bond kind of guy who talks a good game and even has a gun for most of the film. It’s simply not enough to make him a cool character since this isn’t the time to flirt. Likewise, Ann is just as guilty and makes the situation harder for everyone by being very cryptic about her backstory. Just saying it would have saved the characters some time and the way that she gets scared by everything is a bit much as well.

The actress is all right I suppose, but she doesn’t add much to the story either. She’s probably also the least apologetic about her backstory, which came across as a little drastic. The main characters who were pretty likable where the old folks. It’s not too surprising as they engage in most of the witty banter and try to keep each other from making any hasty moves. The detective also keeps everyone in check as he does have some useful professional experience at his disposal.

Ultimately, it’s pretty intriguing to see all of the characters go down one by one. Granted, you have to suspend your disbelief as the film goes on. Why does nobody think to simply stake out the room where the Indian figures keep disappearing? Even once the culprit is found out…or to be more precise, the fact that the culprit is revealed to be just one person makes it a little harder to swallow. This person shouldn’t be able to move so quickly and evade everyone with such precision. I’m just not sure that I buy that. Of course, you don’t need to buy it to enjoy the film.

Another change from the first film is an extended fight scene where one of the butlers goes into a frenzy and attacks Hugh. It’s pretty interesting as this pretty much came out of nowhere. Unfortunately, the fight scene isn’t that good, but you will be surprised at how many times the fight stops and then starts again. The cheap shots just won’t stop, but there is a winner in the end so that’s good. The other characters (for the most part) talk tough about how they shouldn’t have fought, but Hugh wasn’t exactly given a choice so it’s good that he took the win. The butler then decided to leave the mountain on his own, which was probably one of the worst decisions that he could have made.

I will give the ending props for still coming across as fairly realistic. The plan was sound and I actually wouldn’t call it out for being unrealistic or full of plot hax. When you think about it, this film was thought out fairly well and while some plot hax is inevitable, it was a fun mystery from start to finish with no real cop outs. You just have to choose which character you think is guilty and then go on from there. I always like films like that since you can just make your pick and enjoy the film. If you were right, then it’s time to buy a snack afterwards. Of course, I knew who it was this time since I saw the original, but I imagine that a lot of people will only see one version of the film.

Overall, Ten Little Indians isn’t quite as good as the original adaption. The increased romance, the characters being less likable, and the fight scene actually being sub par kept it from reaching the same status as the original. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a good film, but it’s just not as good. It follows the original quite closely even down to the script aside from these changes so it is still a good movie, but why not watch the original instead right? These classic mystery thrillers are definitely intense and black and white does fit in quite nicely for it. You can tell that this film is retro even though it was a little modernized. I’d be interested to see a 2010 or later remake, but I can tell that it probably wouldn’t be great. Something to think about though and this plot is certainly one that can easily be reused in a completely different context while still being effective. Make it happen Hollywood!

Overall 6/10

Digimon Adventure 02 Hurricane Showdown Review

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Time for the first film with the new Digidestined. Apparently I gave this film a solid 7 the last time that I saw it. Well, it’s going to be the opposite of the first Digimon Adventure film, which I gave a 6 originally, but bumped up to a 7 after re watching it. While it’s possible that the dub could maybe get a 7 due to all of the high energy action, the extra 30 minutes didn’t do it enough favors and I feel like another 6 is pretty fair for this one. It drags on quite a lot and Willis is easily one of the worst Digimon humans in the entire franchise. Yes, I just went there!

The plot actually changes depending on the version so let’s go with the subbed for this one. The original Digidestined have been systematically defeated (sound like Tri?) by a new Digimon that has come into being. Granted, it wasn’t a fair fight as this Digimon moves very quickly and can quickly vaporize any human that it wants into a digital space. Davis and friends find out that something is wrong when TK and Kari have a face to face encounter with the monster. It all traces back to this American kid named Willis who likes to remind the others that he’s American as often as possible. That sounds pretty realistic, but he’s unfortunately a terrible character who never knows when to stand down. He annoys everyone to no end. Still, can Davis and his friends really stop this powerful fiend!?

So, like last time, the sub takes a more serious tone than the dub. Willis is surprisingly a little more annoying though as he constantly flirts with Kairi over and over again. Davis does a good job of putting the kid in his place though. Willis is able to speak in Japanese and American, but in an interesting moment, he speaks to his mom in Japanese. Sorry writers, but in America, you would never speak in Japanese. It’s just not happening. It would be like me living in Japan and speaking to my parents in English for the lolz. I just don’t see it happening. The original version of the film is significantly longer than the dubbed cut. In some ways this is good as the Digidestined being defeated was cut out of the dub and that wasn’t a cool move. I want to see Tai and friends even if they looked terrible and supreme amounts of plot hax got in the way of them doing anything useful to help out their friends. One issue that hurts the sub and may be impossible to get around at this point is that the soundtrack is just not exciting. I’m not sure how the franchise plans to get around that, but maybe it’s just for the Adventure films. I’m interested to see what themes they chose for Tri and I’m hoping for some fast paced tunes. If not, the rest of the film being solid enough can negate that, but it would still be an added bonus.

In the dub, there are more one liners and epic moments from Davis and friends. Some sad moments mixed in there of course and the dub doesn’t mind keeping in the romance with Davis. It’s one of the things that really brings the film down. Without that, the film could have been strong enough to hold its own with a 7, but that’s definitely not happening now. It’s a true shame if you ask me. So, while the dub was more exciting, it does come at the expense of about half of the film, which you would miss otherwise so it’s a tough call. Hardcore fans will likely prefer the sub for that reason. I’m going with the Dub, but it is a little closer than with the first two Digimon Adventure films. I still remember how the dub music got so sad for the fight scenes in the show. Even if they would simply be slow paced and more subdued in the sub, that would probably beat those insert songs from the anime.

Willis is the new kid and I’ve already hinted that he’s a terrible character. He doesn’t represent the average American all that well if you ask me. It’s good that he’s so close to his mom, but that’s his only good quality. He openly flirts with every girl that he meets and he also doesn’t want to own up to his mistakes. He’s even fine with letting his friends get beaten up or rolling over and dying instead of facing his old friend. When a friend goes down the wrong path, then it’s time to help them see the error of their ways. It’s not time to get stomped into the ground with no resistance. Terriermon had the right idea from the start and you feel bad for him for having such a sad trainer. That Digimon actually steals the show and I’d say that he’s easily the best creature in the film. He’s not afraid to fight when necessary and he’s got a lot of spunk. Reminds me of the Terriermon from the third season and I have a feeling that this one inspired the new version. Willis is just not a decisive character and he’s certainly not a very brave one. He will go down in history as one of the weakest willed tamers in all of Digimon and that’s a good thing. In fact, I may have to introduce him to the battle section of this site, but that’s neither here nor there.

Davis is a character who’s typically very likable since he’s headstrong and determined. Unfortunately, his infatuation with Kari holds him back. He’s not even subtle about it in the dub although he’s a little better in the sub in that regard. He’s a solid trainer and while Davis can get overly emotional, he can fight like Terriermon and doesn’t back down like Willis. For the most part, Davis is a good leader for the group and probably the only one who’s qualified for it. Kari likes to mess with Davis and while that is only apparent in the Dub, I’d say that it seems to be in character. Her vague visions continue to not be very useful, but at least it helped everyone get into action. TK was mostly a spectator here like the rest of the Digidestined members, but at least he was around for moral support.

I definitely didn’t like Endigomon though. He’s not my kind of villain at all. He wants the good ole days to return, but he needs to get his eye sight checked if he can’t recognize his best friend after just a few years. Cmon…this guy can’t be that bad right? Also, the point of finding his friend was to turn him into a kid again, not to destroy him. Endigomon’s plans were just terrible and he didn’t think anything through. That’s why I didn’t like him. A plan should at least make sense and if I’m to sympathize with a villain, then he can’t contradict his goals. If he didn’t try to hurt Willis, then that’s a different story since I’m okay with him trying to deage Willis without consent. That’s legit for a villain and it’s a goal that you can sympathize with, though mileage will vary for each viewer of course. The other Digimon like Veemon were cool though, but as mentioned earlier, Terriermon is the best by far.

The animation is pretty solid here. It’s not using the slippery movie style from the first two films so the explosions are less flashy and the energy attacks don’t look as good, but the actual characters look much better. It’s a trade off like that. The fight scenes can still hold their own against the average film’s though and it’s times like this where you can sometimes tell that it was from Toei like DBZ. Veemon’s fire form made for a good battle although he should have easily won that battle. If you ask me, the heroes have fought way stronger opponents than Endigomon so this whole mission should be a breeze for them. I know that we have to give the villains some hype, but it was too much. The film also shouldn’t have had Angemon and Angewoman evolve because by all accounts, they should be virtually unbeatable. Magna Angemon was taking on Black War Greymon in the show. His Mega form should be able to utterly annihilate Endigomon with a simple energy blast or maybe a punch if he wants to go medieval. Seriously, throwing those guys in just wasn’t worth it. Especially if it was to give Willis some more hype in the end.

Overall, This film is a perfect example of how filler characters can really hurt a film. We’ve seen it many times before in other franchises so it’s no surprise, but this is the example that you’ll want to use when in a debate about filler characters and what they bring to the table. This film would be an easy 7 without Willis and his shenanigans. He’s just such a poorly written character. The fight scenes and soundtrack (dub) are solid and the animation holds its own. When you think about it, this is still a solid film in its own right even if it made some mistakes. I’d still recommend it to any anime fan who wants a quick adventure with some fights and excitement. I don’t expect we’ll ever see these guys outshine the original Adventure cast though and that’s a good thing!

Overall 6/10

Digimon Adventure The Movie Review

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It had certainly been quite a while since I had seen this film. I’ve seen it a few times in the past and recently I finally saw the subbed version. It’s definitely interesting to compare and contrast the two versions. I grew up on the dub and I’m always very partial to that format so it certainly wins for me, but both of them are certainly solid. The film is very short and is essentially an episode, but we still get a nice fight at the end and that’s what counts. It’s a nice way to start off your Digimon anime experience and Godzilla fans will definitely appreciate it.

Tai and his sister Kari were having an ordinary day at home when an egg shows up and a monster jumps out of it. The monster is nice and pretty small at first, but things start to get a little worrisome when it evolves into Agumon and breaks the roof of their house. It jumps away with Kari so now Tai must find this monster and rescue his sister. Tai will have to hurry with this as well since another monster is about to come through the gates and this one’s not an ally! Can Tai really keep it together under such duress? Well…this is Tai that we’re talking about!

The original version takes itself a little more seriously than its English counterpart. The music is very subdued and soft. Unfortunately, this does mean that we don’t get any real battle/action themes in the film so the fight is more of a visual experience. No crude humor jokes at least and the film has some extra scenes that weren’t in the dub. I can see why the beak getting smashed was cut out although the fire blast to the wing wasn’t that bad and could have easily been kept. It’s definitely more of a thriller in the original cut as the whole thing is pretty mysterious and a little out of nowhere for the main characters so it’s really a trial by storm. I’d probably give this version a 6/10, but the dub helps the overall score jump by a star as it wasn’t too far away from that anyway.

In the Dub version, it’s more of a comedy action. We even get some narration that I could probably do without, but most of the dub’s other qualities are good. For starters, the music is a drastic improvement even if it doesn’t feel very Digimon esque at times. The battle theme is much more fitting for the climax and the Dub just has an epic feel to it at the end. There are also more burns and epic one liners in the dub like a truck driver scene that I had completely forgotten involving two truck drivers and one who fell asleep at the wheel. (The wiki is pretty handy for times like this) Tai jokes about how large the egg is and he’s never speechless when it comes to these strange occurrences. An overload of jokes can be bad if they’re poorly written like in Pixels, but for something like Digimon that has quality control, it works out pretty well. Another good part on the dub is that it cuts out a random scene where we find out that Tai’s father is a drunk. Yeah, we didn’t need to know that! The dub’s high intensity and one liners help to alleviate my slight weakness with the film that will come up in a second. Regardless of what version you watch, the animation for the fight scene at the end is very good and this film certainly succeeds on a technical level.

If the film has a main weakness, it’s that the happy days scenes can drag a little. As you may or may not be aware, I’m not a big fan of kids and babies in films and other media. Kids are usually exempt in anime though (I can elaborate on that if necessary in the comments) and I actually thought that Tai was a pretty good character. Kari…not so much, but at least we know that she gets a lot better in the actual anime. I actually didn’t care for Koromon. He is cool as Agumon and Greymon, but the chasing each other around the room and the odd face hug parts were moments that could have been dramatically shortened. That’s really it though and while the scenes can get a little dull, it’s not something that will really hurt the experience for you. It’s already a short film after all so how much can it really drag out right?

What I think would have made the film a little better would have been for a larger cast or at least one more character to be with Tai. It would help to give us some more dialogue and if we were lucky, maybe even some banter. Alternately, the easier and possibly even more effective strategy would just be to make Tai a little older. Of course in that case, the film would need to have made it a different cast since that may not have made a whole lot of sense for the TV show and we don’t want logic holes right from the get go right? As just mentioned, Tai is already a good character in this film. He takes charge and isn’t afraid of anything. Once Kari is taken away, he quickly goes outside on his own and confronts the Digimon. It’s easy to see why he became the leader of the group. Kari can’t really talk all that much at this point in the film so it would essentially be impossible for her to be a likable character. If she couldn’t talk, but was old enough to still have a personality, then it could be a different story. The other main characters of the TV show make cameo appearances so that’s neat for their fans I suppose.

It almost goes without saying that Parrotmon makes for a great villain. He has a nice projectile and in terms of pure power, Parrotmon is actually able to hold his own against Greymon. That’s pretty impressive when you really think about it since Parrotmon is typically a zoner when it comes to combat. Greymon is a great homage to Godzilla as well and their battle was done so well. A clash of anime Kaiju is something that you don’t see every day and sometimes not even in a full year. You will also be able to recognize some of the famous Godzilla roars if you pay close enough attention to the details.

Overall, Digimon Adventure starts out right with this quick film. It was probably fun for the people who ended up seeing this day 1 and becoming a fan of the franchise. It’s certainly lasted quite a while and may be the 2nd most popular mon show at this point. It’s probably solidified its standing there as well so nothing will be passing it anytime soon. I’ve seen this film many times in the past and it’s an enjoyable film for fans and people who haven’t seen Digimon yet. If you’re looking for a film with a nice fight scene at the end as a foreshadowing of things to come, then you should check this film out. It’s a little light on action of course, but no worries, the TV show has fight scenes in bulk! Naturally, this review also comes at a good time as the new Digimon film series is finally here. Yes, this site is just That good!

Overall 7/10

Ultimate Comics Spider Man Volume 5 Review

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Miles is a character who I’ve given a lot of grief in the comics. Mainly because he comes across as a little overconfident, but not in a fun Kirito kind of way. It’s hard to differentiate, but there are many characters who act overconfident, but simply can’t pull it off as well as others. Maybe it’s because Miles also tries to act inexperienced and gets upset constantly at the drop of a hat. He’s too all over the place. That’s not the case here…but is that a good thing or have we traded personalities for another negative one? All that and more in the review!

It’s been a year since Miles gave up the Spider Man mantle. His mother was destroyed by a stray bullet and his dad was injured so Miles just figured that it wasn’t worth it to being a hero. A lot of other characters have gone through this decision in the past and it’s always wince worthy, but it’s worth pointing out that it’s not a Miles specific issue. That being said, the issue is presented in different ways based on who the character is and the situation. Here, everyone is telling Miles to get back on the horse. Whether they do it through blackmail (practically) or peer pressure, they eventually force him to get the costume back on.

Two new vigilantes have appeared by the names of Cloak and Dagger. They are hunting a meta human who has explosive abilities. SHIELD isn’t looking into the matter since this relates to an evil partner of theirs, Roxxon. This is why Jessica Drew needs Spider Man back in action to help her take this group of scientists down. The scientists aren’t purely academic geniuses, but they can also fight when necessary. The final pair or issues is where the bulk of the action is in this volume and the fights are pretty good.

I enjoy the art for this series for the most part. I feel like the humans can look a little odd at times. It’s like they’re always pouting. That all goes away once the action scenes start though. The art really looks vibrant during the meta battles like when Cloak and Dagger first appear. The final group fight against the scientists was also well done and Taskmaster’s bout was a nice hand to hand fight. It’s why I’m always open for a good comic book fight after a long period of dialogue. Dialogue is good as well of course and the first half is still solid, but I was certainly pleased with the ending.

I was actually worried a little that the heroes would lost to the scientists, which would kick off the next arc, but luckily that didn’t happen. The villains were decently tough with one of them even looking like the ultimate Sinister, but Spiderman’s group has this. I don’t care for Cloak, but his powers do make him decently OP. (Overpowered) Spiderman’s venom shock still proves to come in handy in just about every fight and it’s a power that would really aid the original as well. It’s a great ability for escaping from a tough situation or for launching a quick attack.

This is Cloak and Dagger’s debut so it was interesting to see them. They both seemed like decently likable character before the switch. After that…I can’t say that they looked too good. Cloak went from being a respectable fellow who seemed like a very nice guy to someone who didn’t really care if he destroyed someone. He casually puts people into his cloak even though he knows that they could blow up or be seriously injured. Dagger seems more grounded in that respect as she wants vengeance, but not for it to be fatal, even if she hasn’t really thought about how to accomplish this. Cloak is certainly stronger since his all consuming cloak can really cause a lot of damage, but Dagger’s no lightweight either. The way that they quickly assumed that a metahuman was working with the villains was very iffy though. They seriously didn’t have much of an excuse to go after the bomb user.

Bombshell was easily a more likable character than Cloak and Dagger. She didn’t ask for these strange powers, but took them really well. She wasn’t panicking or on a quest for vengeance. Bombshell just kept on living her life like usual until she was attacked out of the blue. She doesn’t really have anywhere to go, but it seems like SHIELD’s got their eyes on her. Bombshell could certainly be a valuable asset to the team and was one of the heavy hitters here. Spider Woman’s role is mostly that of a mentor to Miles here. She finally lets him know that she was a clone of Peter Parker this whole time. Jessica Drew can certainly still fight and she does well against Taskmaster, but without Spiderman’s venom sting, she seems to be at a bit of a disadvantage in these fights. She needs some kind of extra edge, but her hand to hand experience will suffice against most opponents.

As for Miles, he’s still not the greatest of main characters for me. He’s not as bad as he was in other comics, but deciding to stop being a hero for a whole year is a little iffy. Particularly when he decides not to step in when Bombshell was getting double teamed by two new figures. It’s one thing to not actively suit up, but another to just watch as a fellow super human is being attacked. It feels like he is always wondering about whether he should tell his girlfriend that he is Spiderman or not. I reviewed the first graphic novel of the sequel series to this one so I can safely say that he does make a choice soon. His friend isn’t much help though and that guy’s pretty annoying. It doesn’t help that the comic decides to randomly have two characters tell Miles that his friend was actually never his friend and one thought that they were actually together. Why do we need to keep on adding politics to our comics? Miles denies this which is good, but I wouldn’t put it past the comics to try and make this happen. Let’s hope not. I don’t think Miles needs to be in a relationship with the girl either though. Comics don’t need romance, I just want to see some action. Now that Miles is finally back in costume, that should happen soon.

It’s always something to think about just how different this Ultimate Universe is. There’s no Peter Parker, but he’s actually known as a hero here. He managed to really help a lot of people in his final acts and even Jameson accepted him. There aren’t Avengers around typically and the X-Men are hard to find as well. The flip side is that super villains aren’t a regular occurrence like in 616 and the world isn’t ending every other week. It’s definitely a more grounded universe and it’s a fun alternate universe that has been developed. It’s just a shame that most of the titles typically aren’t that good.

I do hope that Miles tells his Dad about his secret identity soon though. The guy seems pretty reasonable and I’m pretty sure that he would take it well. Even if he doesn’t, Miles has SHIELD to fall back on, but at this point, he should probably consider that it’s a necessary step or he may end up having some regrets soon. With the drama mostly tucked away, I’m ready for some more action packed volumes coming up although this was the last one for this series so back to the sequel or to the older titles.

Overall, This was a solid Ultimate collection. A little light on action, but the final 2 issues had enough action to cover the volume. The first half’s drama wasn’t that bad either. It can be a little annoying to see Miles give up on the costume for a whole year though since that’s no small stretch of time. I like his Dad, but the other supporting characters aren’t so good. I can’t say that Gwen’s great here either, but Aunt May’s decent. It would be hard for her to be an unlikable character I suppose. Miles seems to be less overconfident now so in costume he’s good now. He just needs to work on the alter ego now. Writing out his friend from the series would be a great start. I’d recommend checking this volume out and it’s a good jumping on point if you’ve never read Ultimate before.

Overall 7/10

Birds of Prey Volume 11 Metropolis or Dust Review

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This is the first Birds of Prey level that I’ve played so that was interesting. Unfortunately, I can’t say that it was very good. The main characters aren’t the greatest and there are no real villains in this collection. Ah well…maybe next time I suppose. The concept is still pretty neat and as the group is made up of hand to hand fighters for the most part, that will give the series a chance for many hand to hand fights.

The Birds of Prey were on a routine mission when things quickly escalated in Metroplis. A lady became a big crime lord once her father was out of the picture, but the other mobsters didn’t take her seriously. That was their mistake and she decided to eliminate them all at once with her giant robot. Oracle’s preparations were sabotaged by Misfit and the thing became a big incident with many fatalities. Oracle’s confidence was shattered through this. Can she trust her instincts now? Meanwhile, Huntress must help Lady Blackhawk defeat an enemy from the past.

The plot in and of itself isn’t bad I suppose, but it’s not exactly an eye opener for someone walking through an aisle of comics. Seeing Superman was cool though and he made a lot of good points as expected. Oracle should have called in some extra heroes as soon as the giant mech appeared. That being said..who actually does that? You can bet that the Teen Titans or a fellow JL member would not have called for backup. While it is sound advice, nobody uses it and that includes Superman.

It’s also sad for Oracle since her group was doing just fine. In a way, Misfit saved the day by teleporting into the robot in the first place, but then she also wrecked everything by pushing the big red button. It was an odd scene as you would expect it in a comedy situation, but it actually had some real ramifications behind it. It’s always interesting to see that because when you really look at a comic, the heroes take crazy risks all the time. “Don’t move or the hostage gets it!” Heroes often ignore the villain and quickly charge in or throw something. It works out, but should it? Seeing these attempts and hunches fail sometimes is always intriguing for that reason, but it still makes Misfit look absolutely terrible as a character.

Oracle isn’t a likable lead, which probably hurt the comic a little. I’ve always thought that Batgirl was a character who could be likable one minute and irritating the next. She’s had a mixed track record, but I can’t say that I’ve ever seen an incarnation of Oracle that I was a big fan of. Barbara’s better as Batgirl and it would be nice to see her in that role again. Oracle is just too harsh with the characters and always acts as if she is in the right. Oracle isn’t actually helping on the field so she should act with a little more modesty. These heroes have a decent amount of experience under their belt at this point as well.

Huntress was easily the best character of the bunch. She still talks a little tougher than her skills can actually back up, but I would not call that a bad thing. It’s good to have one character who’s ready to take the win even if she’s not all that powerful. Lady Blackhawk is essentially DC’s Black Widow in terms of personality. At least, that’s how she is in this graphic novel and I can’t say that I’m a huge fan of her. That being said, she spends most of the comic being brainwashed so she didn’t have a chance to stop being a little on the generic side. We’ll see how she improves from here, but strength of will is something that she’s lacking.

Manhunter’s role was very small as she was mostly the group’s informant who went around doing the hard work. She seems like a good character and is certainly a tough one even if that’s part of why all of the members start to blend together. Each of the members is the tough and stern character who beats up on the bad guys. I feel like Misfit, Black Alice, and Huntress are the only characters with actual personalities and with the exception of the latter, the other two characters aren’t likable.

Black Alice is basically a villain who only pretends to be a hero when it’s convenient. She certainly has no business being on the Birds of Prey squad. She is decently powerful as she can steal your powers, which will come in handy when fighting someone like Superman. This technique seems to be activated by thought, which makes it nearly impossible to neutralize. That being said, she’s pretty whiney and isn’t a team player. It’s just hard to root for her.

Likewise, Misfit isn’t really a good character either. Oracle never lets her into the field, which makes you root for Misfit a little. That is all thrown out the window though when Misfit’s comic relief tendencies destroyed hundreds of people in a big explosion. Now we see why Oracle keeps her out of the field and it destroyed any chance that Misfit had of being a good character. I also don’t really care for jokesters if that’s their only gimmick. You have to have something to compliement it unless your jokes are just That good. If you’re great at that role, then it can work, but that’s not Misfit’s strength.

This comic would have been a lot better without the Killer Shark plot. One guy found some drugs in his grand father’s stuff and decided to become a super villain. It’s apparently easy to get into that profession once you have a costume. He was able to find Blackhawk’s apartment somehow and then he even made a villain lair as he defeated the two heroines. Do we really need more cheap villains like this? They seem to pop up all the time now. The plot twist about Lady Killer Shark also smells like a retcon to me. I hope that’s not the case because that would be a really bad change. Why not take things at face value like characters randomly being evil in the past? Of course, maybe this wasn’t a retcon, in which case it’s still bad, but not a bad twist since there wouldn’t have been a twist.

I did enjoy the art though. It’s smooth and fairly streamlined. The action scenes are fun when they happen and I’m always up for a good hand to hand fight scene when it’s done right. Good art can take a comic a long way. It won’t end up saving it in the long run, but it can win you part of the battle. This series just needs to step up with the rest of its sections to truly be a strong title. The writing wasn’t bad so we really just need a good villain and for the main characters to get a little more likable.

Overall, Birds of Prey is still a good concept, but this volume just didn’t work out for me. It could be a one time deal though and every series can have an underwhelming trade paperback at some point. There have been several Birds of Prey series over the past and this is volume 11 of one so maybe the series was just about to get good or it had jumped the shark. Instead of waiting to find out, check out the early Supergirl volumes in the New 52. That was a great series!

Overall 5/10

Tomorrowland Review

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I saw Tomorrowland a while back and braced myself for the experience. I had heard many tales of woe about how this film can bore a person to tears. One senior couple actually exited the theater midway…the first time that they ever did that in their lives! The stories were quite impressive, but in a way…they destroyed that chance of happening. At the very least, the film would be entertaining because I would be chuckling at how everyone spent 10-15 dollars to see it in the theater! Granted, the film was actually decently good and I’d upgrade that to a pretty good if not for an unfortunate moment. It’s true that the film starts to go off the rails in the second half, but the first chunk is enough to qualify it as a good movie. Is it boring? Not really, but you can make a case for the second half.

It should be mentioned that everything about this film is pretty misleading about what the true plot is. Why is David Nix listed above Athena and Casey when they both have far more important roles in this film? Look at the poster that I chose…the main character isn’t even on it. In fact, I was shocked when we got a fight scene in this film because I feel like the trailers never even hinted at that, but maybe I just forgot to rewatch the trailer. It has been a while to be honest….time to talk about the actual plot.

The film starts out with an ominous scene of a timer counting down. It’s full of tension and epicness…until it’s ruined by a voice that keeps interrupting the main character over and over again. I’ll admit that I got tired of this joke the very instant that the first interruption happened. I’m sorry…but is this a comedy film or an end of the world thriller? Better pick the first option folks since most would not call this a thriller. We then get a flashback for the main character (Most of the film is a flashback by the way) who is called Frank. His dreams are crushed when his broken invention is turned down (With an epic burn I might add) but a girl gives him the keys to the underground city where the world’s top inventors are building a Utopia. Frank likes this concept. We then skip a few decades to where a girl by the name of Casey finds a little button.

When she grabs the button, she is “warped” to that highly advanced planet. The only problem is that her mind feels like she is gone, but she’s really still in the real world so this leads to a lot of shenanigans like tripping. (And plot hax) An android girl named Athena shows up and basically tells Casey to come with her if Casey wants to live. A group of human hunters are after them as they want the button and want to foil Athena’s plans. Athena has given pins to many people to help keep the inventions going, but the villains can’t have that.

Again, I was shocked to see the androids because I was expecting more of a down to Earth story about environmental change and that kind of thing. The big fight scene in the toy store was a lot of fun with the Androids shooting up the place before being reduced to scrap metal by Athena’s gravity gun. We then got another big action scene as Frank, now much older and more experienced had his hype team up with Casey. The booby traps took out a bunch of the villains and the heroes escaped with their lives. Sadly…this basically ends the action segment and also ends the first half of the film. That’s where things go downhill a little.

So…this Utopia can only be entered from France and the heroes can basically teleport/move at incredible rocket speeds that haven’t been invented yet…and they accomplished this decades ago. Nooooooo. You really have to throw logic out of the window here and the problem is that the whole plot doesn’t make sense. Nobody noticed all of these famous inventors disappearing now and again to help out the tech world? Nobody has ever found this place since it is a tangible location? Building it under an amusement park in the 60’s (Something like that) is one thing, but that just doesn’t fly in the modern world. We’ve got cameras for that kind of thing. Let’s not even get into the fact that the world basically runs on hope. If people stop hoping and just accept their fate…then they’re basically toast. Luckily, Casey is an optimist so she saves the world by believing in it. I can’t even…..

It’d be emotional if it wasn’t so nonsensical. Yeah, these plot holes and logic shenanigans aren’t the kind of thing that would impact the film’s score in any way for me, but it does take you out of the adventure to an extent. There’s also a villain in there somewhere, but the film didn’t even need one if you think about it. I suppose that it adds more wrinkles to the film though and we can always use those. As you watch the film, you’ll notice many moments where the badge should have basically destroyed Casey, but she uses the power of plot to survive.

Casey’s not a bad character though and she’s actually pretty decent. It’s always good to be an optimist even if she’s doomed in her classes as a result. It is a fact that the environment is being destroyed and that humanity continues to spiral lower and lower into the moral ground. It’s noble to try and resist such things by keeping a positive light…but then we’re reminded that she goes around sabotaging government facilities to try and keep her father’s job stable, but costing other people untold amounts of money. Whoops…. Anyway, she’s not bad, I did have a bit of a problem with Athena though.

Can you say overhyped? Athena is the definition of a hype character and she gets it every second of her appearance. She’s pretty rude to Frank and Casey the entire time and expects them to follow her orders without any context. She’s simply too overbearing and annoying when on screen. She can fight so at least the hype isn’t hollow, but more explanations and less bossy moments would have done her wonders. She even goes as far as to pretend to fall asleep instead of giving Casey some answers. Why couldn’t Athena answer them? No reason at all, she just didn’t feel like it.

Frank’s a great character though. He represents the cynical side of the world, which means that he gets dozens and dozens of good one liners to keep everyone in check. Frank’s always sarcastic until character development destroys his likable personality. He easily steals the show in the film as far as the characters are concerned. Then again…that’s not too hard.

There is one random scene where the Terminators destroy a group of policemen that could and should have led to a bunch of epic moments, but the cops never got their revenge. It was just sad because the cops were treated as a plot device rather than as actual characters. There should be some ramifications for shooting them down, but the film glosses over this point and moves on. It just felt so random…like most of the second half of the film. Seriously, once the main characters get on the rocket and enter Tomorrow Land, the film could have ended.

The ending involves a big power of friendship moment as a lot of annoying kid androids appear. The heroes have to explain hope and kindness to them and it’s not as emotional as the film would lead you to believe. Now, I’ve sounded decently harsh on this film and it made a lot of mistakes. This will be the final time that I say this, but the second half dropped the ball. If the film had kept up the first half’s momentum the whole time, we’d be looking at a possible 8…wellllll…probably a 7, but that’s still good. As it stands, the film would have gotten a 7, but that one scene hurts it.

In another random moment, the androids shoot a pigeon. Game Over. I had to dock a whole star from the film. It probably would have been more if it had been a dog or if the scene had been any more graphic or time consuming, but in this case, it was a good thing that the scene was still glossed over. I deduct a star on principle, but at least the animal violence was fairly mild. It’s insulting that the scene is meant to be comic relief though. The writers clearly had no idea what they were doing here.

Overall, Tomorrowland is certainly not as bad as you may have been led to believe. It can be pretty boring once the set up and introduction to the characters is complete, but the first half of the film is pretty interesting. Casey being a thief does hurt her whole character arc a bit, but I’ll assume that she doesn’t do those things anymore. If you turn your brain off and ignore the dozens of plot/logic holes here, you should have a good time. I’d recommend this film anyway and the action scenes should surprise you in a good way as they were unexpected. That being said, this is certainly no thriller and if you thought that Clooney’s character was the lead…prepare to be disappointed.

Overall 6/10

One Piece Pirate Warriors 3 Review

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I’ve had this game for quite a few months now and I finally managed to beat it! The game wasn’t that hard, but it was just tricky to make time to play it. This is definitely the definitive One Piece game at the moment and I even found it more fun to play than the Unlimited Red title. That one was also excellent though, even if the story mode wasn’t absolutely amazing like this one. Pirate Warriors 3 just had that epic feel about it and can hold its own against Ultimate Ninja Storm, Raging Blast, and Soul Resurrection.

This game covers the entire One Piece series up to the latest arc. There’s a fake ending here as the arc hadn’t ended at the time, but that’s fine since it still works as a solid ending and some of the big enemies of Luffy’s past (Blackbeard) get to show up as well. I’m pretty sure that the game’s writers liked Kizaru as his role in this game was certainly beefed up. If you don’t know the plot of the One Piece franchise, it takes place back in the golden age of pirates. The legendary Gold D Roger left some treasure and a kid named Luffy wants to find it. He assembles a crew and sets sail. Naturally, the pirates are outlaws so Luffy has to deal with the government as well as many evil groups of pirates who would stand in his way.

There’s a lot to do in this title and that’s always a good thing. Naturally, story mode will take up the bulk of your time and it’s decently long. There are 22 levels and they all range from 30-60 minutes. You’re certainly getting your money’s worth there and you can choose to replay the levels at different difficulties to try and fill in a treasure map on each chapter by completing various challenges. Each character can be leveled up as well and the coins that you get through the levels can be used to unlock super attacks or just increase some stats. If you want to play as a different character during the levels then there is also a free mode that you can get into.

As is becoming the fashion with these big beat em up games, there is also a mission mode adventure where you play through abridged versions of the story mode levels. There will be secret bosses here that you don’t run into in the normal story like Shanks. This mode is a lot longer than the story mode and likely more difficult although it’s hard to say for sure. If you’ve got the time, this mode is definitely worth checking out.

There’s also a shop where you can spend your money. Typically it would be a huge grind to buy everything, but this is surprisingly not the case in this game. You earn a lot of money in Story Mode just by completing the levels and this increases exponentially when you get S ranks in any chapter. I managed to buy all of the soundtrack themes, costumes, and bought most of the movies. I nearly cleaned out the shop and that’s without just about any grinding. (I did grind for a little while, but mostly spent the cash on level ups for other characters) You don’t want to forget about earning those PS4 trophies while you’re at it either. They seem pretty fair for the most part, but very, very time consuming. I don’t see myself getting the Platinum here anytime soon, but you never know.

That’s enough about the replay value and features. You get the jist of it. This game will capture your attention for quite a while. Next up, let’s talk a little about the gameplay. That’s the most important part for any video game and it is excellent here. I’ve never met a beat em up that I didn’t like and this can hold its own with any other. You have your standard attacks and power moves that you can link up into many different combos. Every character has a special attack and four special variations of normal moves. Then you’ve got double special attacks and final smash techniques. Every time you use a final smash with one of your teammates, they’ll stick around for the next one. If you play your cards right, this means that you can do a final smash technique with your whole crew by the end. Granted, you’ll never actually need to do this (Except for a trophy) but it’s cool to look at.

The gameplay is nice and fast paced. I’ll admit that I do miss the combos from the younger days though and I wonder how that works in Free Mode. The final few levels force you to play as the older Strawhats and while their attacks are ridiculously OP at times, I just loved how smooth the classic ones were. You’ll certainly be able to pick out a favorite character in terms of gameplay by the end and then you can focus on mowing down the enemies. If you defeat a lot of them in one hit, you’ll get a lot of ! bonuses, which are helpful for S ranks.

I liked the soundtrack a lot although it is very limited. It’s not nearly as engaging as the themes that you will hear in something like Transformers Devastation, but one theme can always make a difference. That’s what happened here as I love the “tense” music theme that plays whenever a villain appears. You know that things are about to get serious and the other themes aren’t bad either. The graphics are also pretty solid. It’s not quite Sonic Adventure 2 Battle or the streamlined style of Mario, but the Cell shading still looks decently good for the cutscenes. I’ll admit that it looks better for the gameplay though, but I’d love it if One Piece could borrow the flashier look of Dynasty Warriors Gundam or something like that. I dunno, something about the graphics just kept it a solid spot under most of the big titles that we get nowadays like Super Smash or Gundam, but they’re still not bad by any stretch of the imagination.

Overall, with the solid array of bonus content to keep you busy, this is a must have that is worth the high price. If you have not gotten into One Piece yet, this game is a great starting point as you can instantly get near the end of the franchise as you will almost be caught up. The gameplay is great and the game succeeds on the technical levels as well. It’s decently easy even when on hard mode, but that’s just because it’s hard to find that right balance of making it hard without being impossible. You still have to fight tactically on hard mode and grinding will have to be done to clear the game on that level. I look forward to seeing what the game does for the next installment. Hopefully they add a multiplayer option to the game though. Even if it’s not a vs mode, a co-op mode is always a nice option for the gamers. When you really dip deep into why this game is so good, it’s because Pirate Warriors 3 is just a lot of fun. Defeating the enemies by the dozens never gets old and you can easily lose yourself for a few hours at a time here.

Overall 9/10

Poltergeist II The Other Side Review

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They say that it’s darkest before the Dawn. That may be the case for Poltergeist as this film was pretty terrible, but the next one is supposed to be even worse. Int his case, it may just stay in darkness for a while. Poltergeist II was a bad idea from the start, but I feel like it didn’t even try. It had a humorous moment or two during the film, but that’s about all that I can say for it.

Steve and Diane are still trying to get over the death of their old house via the Poltergeist monsters. It’s been a while and they’ve mostly settled into the new place. After the mother dies, the Poltergeists decide to make a return. One of them impersonates the lady for a while, but Carol figures out that it’s a trap and warns the other characters that they’re back! One of the ghost busting professionals arrives to help out, but is he really a hero?

Where to start with this trainwreck right!? Well, let’s go into the positive part first. I do like how Steve reacts to some of the situations. For example, the Indian known as Taylor went to the family and said that the house was okay after the heroes had nearly been destroyed. Steve then answers that Taylor can stay there since it’s so safe as he dashes off in the car. They really have no reason to trust Taylor after all and the guy is pretty suspect at times. Steve tends to take things in stride and he’s always got a sarcastic comeback for when the going gets tough. That’s the kind of skills that I expect to see from someone like him. Unfortunately, that’s the only real positive in the film.

Let’s go back to Taylor. This guy’s a truly pointless character who is full of himself and doesn’t actually help the others. He helps one of the kids try to become a man by giving him scratches with a sharp twig or something of that sort. It was pretty bad and just shows how crazy he is as Taylor talks about how kids fight in wars and such to justify these decisions. Taylor always hides when the villains appear as he prefers to let Steve do all of the fighting. He hangs out in the background until the coast is clear. He also continually lies to the main character about his car being angry so that he can steal it at the end. I don’t see why this character was called int to help at all as he was one of the worst characters.

Next up on the cringe worthy checklist is the main villain. Kane is an old pastor who was delusional and thought that the world would end so he buried everyone in a cave and forced them all to die. They apparently lost their minds as nobody thought to try and attack him so they could get out. They outnumbered the guy like 20-1 and they just let themselves die from hunger and thirst? You’ve got to be kidding me. He got supernatural powers somehow and can turn into a giant monster. The monster form looked decently cool I suppose, but its first form was a grotesque looking skeleton that hatched from its worm form. It was pretty repulsive the whole time. Just to make sure that the viewers didn’t like the villain, the movie decided to make him depraved as well.

In one of those scenes that added nothing to the film except a death warrant on its overall score, Kane tries to force himself on Diane and the scene is just sooooo terrible. We don’t need more Sword Art Online scenes folks, this is really what doomed Poltergeist II to a 0 although it would have only been a 1 at best otherwise. The focus on the actual ghosts was basically forgotten in this film as Kane was the only true villain. When Taylor talks about Kane, he almost hinted that the guy was the devil incarnate at first, but later on he just turns out to be your average loony. No amount of character development could have made him a compelling villain though.

Did I mention that Steve is also very weak when it comes to strength of will? All Kane needs to mind control him in this film is to make eye contact and Steve was instantly unable to do anything about the whole situation. He nearly let Kane in at that point and it’s good that Carol was around. None of the characters seemed to know what they were doing when faced with supernatural threats. It’s also intriguing how the insurance companies acknowledge that the house is missing without actually coming through on the insurance. Really…?

Let’s elaborate a little more on how the characters are terrible. Steve knows that Kane could show up at any minute so instead of preparing his will for round 2…he decides to go and have a beer. He’s so drunk that he doesn’t see Kane (Now in the form of an insect) inside of the bottle and swallows him. Kane messes around in Steve’s body for a while before Steve finally spits him out, but why would he be drinking at all in such a situation? Carol constantly freezes with fear whenever the villains appear. You’d think that after the first film she would be a little more used to dealing with supernatural forces right? There’s not much to say about Diane, but she can be a little unreasonable when the heroes were running from the ghosts. Staying in the car was their best strategy after all.

Also, where would a bad horror film be without the obligatory bath scene right? As per usual, it’s pointless and shouldn’t be around. It’s not as drawn out and painfully unbearable as in the average film, but it’s still around which is not cool. It’s basically just adding insult to injury by this point. Basically, the key message is do not watch this film. It just had no idea where it was going from start to finish and was a mess.

Overall, Poltergeist II is quite bad. It doesn’t really know what its doing at this point. It’s not really trying to be a horror film as nothing even gets remotely horror esque aside from the monster form at the end. All of the characters make foolish decisions and Taylor was a very poorly written “hero”. We find out that some iffy truths about what may have happened with his tribe way back when, but it has nothing to do with anything. This film wouldn’t even exist if the characters made smart decisions. If you want to watch a good horror film….don’t watch this one!

Overall 0/10

Sleepy Hollow Review

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This review is of the edited TV 14 version of the film. All thoughts below pertain to such as a review of the unedited version would likely be even more negative.
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Finally, a film that lives up to its name! Heh, that’s not a compliment for this film, but still rather humorous to point out. I do appreciate the classic “Heads will roll” tagline since it makes sense for the film and makes for a nice pun. The problem is that the rest of the film falls apart rather quickly, preventing this film from ever getting any energy.

Ichabod is a detective and he doesn’t like how his country still likes to torture criminals because they can. (Grrrrreat start for this film right?……..) The court laughs it off and punishes him by sending Ichabod to Sleepy Hollow, where people have been beheaded left and right. The townsfolk tell Ichabod that it’s a supernatural being doing this, but Ichabod (Between yells and gasps) laughs them off. He starts to become a believer as the threat gets more and more real. The Masbeth family in particular seems to have been targeted a lot so Ichabod allows a kid from that family to work under him. This turns out to be a good move since Ichabod is scared of just about everything when he’s by himself.

Where to start right? Let’s go with the animal violence. It’s very excessive and I barely even need to get into it all. Horses, Bats, Dogs(I forgot, but I thought so…I may be mixing them up, still it was egregious!) That was already enough to cripple the film into nothingness, but it’s only the tip of the iceberg for this film. It continued to go from bad to worse as the movie went on.

Another terrible angle for the film is the fact that all of the townspeople seem to be fine with cheating on others. Several characters are exposed and blackmailed through this as the main villain gathers the dirt on everyone. Can’t we have a town full of law abiding citizens? Nah, that wouldn’t sell. The scenes were all rather terrible and even the ending has to force in a moment between the main villain and the headless horseman. It wasn’t exactly a two way street there though and then adding insult to injury was the fact that the villain was blown up by getting rammed into a tree. The scenes are just so terrible and completely unnecessary.

It goes without saying that the film is quite violent as well. The beheadings happen one after another with the heroes being unable to put a stop to them. The main heroine was no good either as she was quick to betray the main character and burn his things just because Ichabod suspected her father. (Who looked terrible the entire time) They all make up at the end rather quickly, but it’s a forced romance and doesn’t add anything to the film.

Sleepy Hollow’s also a little too long as it clocks in at nearly 2 hours. For this kind of film, 75-90 minutes would have done quite well. The film takes a long time to get to the point of why we should care about this adventure. The “good guys” don’t seem to be so good as long as the torture programs are still in effect and Ichabod is a pretty bad character. He’s constantly getting scared and grossed out. Instead of looking like a professional, he comes across as someone who’s simply in over his head. He even gets suckered by the locals as they throw a pumpkin in his face.

Even the Headless Horseman, who should have been cool ended up being a little underwhelming. His origin story was given, which was a mistake as per usual. His true form was that of a random barbarian who just liked to behead people while fighting. That sounds pretty impractical and I can see why he didn’t quite make it. Eventually, someone would just take him out while he was going for the perfect strike. Considering that he was a supernatural monster, he wasn’t very impressive either. A stronger main character could have probably taken him down for the count. The immortal horse would be the tougher opponent there.

Before the film went down the gutter, I must say that I did have my suspicions that it wouldn’t be so good. Leaving the city to go into a small village to fight the villain? As you may be aware, that’s not my kind of setting. I like seeing busy cities with large skyscrapers. Watching the heroes dashing around in the forest just isn’t as appealing to me. Not to mention that the characters needed to be more likable. I won’t blame Depp’s acting here though as he is much better when he’s not pretending to be a pirate. That being said, no amount of acting could save any of the characters when they’re written so poorly.

There’s not much more to say about this film considering how iffy it was. It was interesting that a magic angle was added here aside from the main villain and her spells. The main heroine had some powers as well, but they were much weaker and this angle wasn’t explored as much as it could have been. That’s definitely a bit of a missed opportunity for the film as well. Can any film adapt the Headless Horseman as well as in the classic Scooby Doo cartoon? We’re still waiting to find out!

Overall, This is another film that was just very bad. It’s boring and that’s a crime for any film. It’s fairly violent with no point behind some of the scenes. An example of this is when Ichabod opened someone up to prove some kind of point so we saw him come out all bloodied. That’s not an example of a really violent scene as it’s just his clothes (Still a little violent though) but just an unnecessary moment. Getting blown up by hitting a tree was definitely intense and all of the animal violence was not good either. Add in the main villain seducing people to further her plan, as well as another guy having an iffy affair and you get a film that is riddled with problems from start to finish. I highly recommend avoiding this film and you’d be better off watching reruns of Blues Clues for a few hours. At the very least, Blue is a very relatable character in that show.

Overall 1/10