Malone Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time for a CIA type revenge thriller. Revenge films can always be tough since naturally the lead is getting revenge for something which means a tragic backstory. Some films take this as far as they can. What’s the saddest thing that can happen? Usually it involves family dying, sometimes it’s the film dying (By having the dog die) but there are many different versions. The film has to be careful not to make the scene too tragic/mean spirited or the movie is over before it has begun while still trying to make the scene reasonably emotional. It’s a tight rope act.

Richard used to work for the CIA, but lately he has a hard time murdering people. He wants out and decides to just walk away. Naturally you can’t just walk away from a job like this but he’s the best in the business so it’s reasonably easy to dodge his former subordinates. He finds himself in a small town that has been taken over by corrupt cops and thugs. They want to commit terrorist acts against the country and see Richard as a threat. They decide to destroy him and his newfound friends to teach the guy a lesson. Richard will have to either stop the enemies or avenge his friends.

This film has that gritty 80s vibe to it from the start. You never really feel like Richard’s friends have a shot here. They all mean well and are pretty nice but that’s exactly why they seem expendable. You have the kid who looks up to Richard, her father who refuses to sell his land to the villains (uh oh) and a CIA agent who has arrived to arrest Richard but decides to team up with him instead. Death flags will pop up for all 3 and the real question is who will live past this ordeal. Also since the cops are involved and corrupt this can lead to the frustrating scenario where they can and will arrest Richard for anything just so they can take his guns. They can even just handcuff him so the villains can beat him up without a fight.

When the cops are in on it the hero is put in a very bad spot. It’s pretty hard to overcome this because after a point the only option is to take down the cops and the villains which will lead you to becoming a fugitive across the country. It’s a tough spot for sure. The film does a good job of painting a bleak picture for Richard. It’s certainly a thriller with high stakes. I can’t say that Richard does a bad job against them as he reasonably does all he could, but I think he begins to falter with the romance angle in general and some of his decision making skills. He may not have had to go for revenge if he had planned things out better.

The romance angle here is definitely very weak though. The CIA agent coming over just to be swayed by Richard was certainly a bit much. There goes her professionalism. I can understand her not wanting to listen to the corrupt order to murder Malone, but there’s a fine line between that and getting together with him. Then the film also has the kid start to like Richard which makes for a very tricky plot. Especially since Richard is not nearly as firm as he should have been in declining her. He’s at least 30 years older than her, maybe more so. It was just a lousy plot. The film should have absolutely skipped the romance plots in this film and that would have been a really good idea. It’s all pretty unnecessary.

Naturally the film can also be a bit gritty. I wouldn’t say that it ever becomes over the top violent or anything but it’s definitely got that 80s vibe to it. The deaths can be pretty gruesome even if they aren’t all on screen. It’s basically what you would expect from the premise. Unfortunately the CIA part of it doesn’t get as much screen time as I would have liked. It would have been nice to see the CIA step in and start fighting with the villains. After all, while they want to cover all of this up you’d think that they would also be happy to take care of the local mob and cops right? Instead they also appear to be just as corrupt as the villains. The film tries to make it crystal clear that only Malone and the two people he’s living with can be trusted.

Overall, Malone isn’t a film that I would particularly recommend. It feels a lot like some of the wild west films like Hang em High and other such titles with the tough main character who shows up to take down the villains but simply isn’t nearly as engaging as those were. The main character isn’t quite as good and while the villains were reasonable I guess they don’t do anything to save the film. It’s not a very pleasant film either. Naturally it’s fun to see Malone go in and take down the villains, but by the time he does it feels like an empty victory.

Overall 4/10

The Gorgon Review

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It’s time to look at a pretty old horror film. There aren’t too many films about the Gorgon since they tend to focus on Medusa so that’s a good change of pace. Considering how bad most of the Hammer films are this one was actually pretty decent. It even avoided the old animal violence trope. It’s still nothing great, but it’s a film that’s actually watchable and fairly entertaining. I was impressed.

The film starts off with a bunch of people being murdered in a small village. One day another girl dies and her fiancee decides to get to the bottom of this. He has no luck and is destroyed so his father comes along to see what he can dig up. The townspeople threaten him and the cops allow it because the whole town is corrupt. The father manages to see the Gorgon and uncovers the truth, but dies as soon as he writes a letter. Then his son Paul shows up to finish his legacy. He wants to find the truth behind these murders but is being hampered at every turn. He’s called in his old pal Karl to help him out and a nice heroine by the name of Carla is also eager to help in his discoveries. Will the 3 of them be able to take down the Gorgon or will she turn them to stone?

Right away I have to say that all the misdirects at the beginning were a blast. The main character switches like 3 different times until the actual lead shows up. The first two live long enough where you think that they actually would have made it through. Now that’s an unexpected death if I ever saw one. The town being corrupt was also done in less of an iffy way than usual although naturally they all still look pretty bad as you’d expect. Doesn’t the town realize that if they let the Gorgon run free it will mean the end of everything? They’re content to just murder anyone who tries to murder the threat that is after them, but that logic is just so bad.

The only one that has a valid reason to help Gorgon for spoiler reasons is Namaroff and even he can be pretty bad the whole time. He changes his tune quite drastically by the end which makes his whole journey pointless. The guy was basically around to fulfill the role as the corrupt doctor but his goals and aspirations just didn’t make any sense either. By being overly cryptic and curt he should have known what was ultimately going to happen. The guy just wasn’t very smart.

Now lets talk about the standout character- Karl. Karl is a hardened professor who has been to many corrupt towns like this one. He knows how to fight and is also the smartest character in the movie. He knows law like the back of his hand so the police aren’t able to bully him as they did with Paul. He outwits everyone and constantly digs up facts about the case. He even solves the mystery early on but naturally Paul won’t hear anything of it. Without Karl, Paul would have been doomed from the start. Effectively this professor is Sherlock Holmes and he completely stole the show. I was surprised to see a character this likable in this film.

Paul is the actual main character of the film and right away you’ll see what I mean when I say that the guy wouldn’t last long. He’s not all that smart. He always talks tough but can’t back it up so when it’s fight time he is doomed. He tries quite often to persuade the doctor to help in his cause but it’s futile from the start. He also starts to let his emotions get the best of him as he forgets logic by the end. It’s one of his many issues in the movie. In general the romance between him and Carla wasn’t particularly good. I think the film could have done without that. It also would have made the identity of the Gorgon a little less obvious. After all there’s only 1 female character in the film. I wonder who the Gorgon can be……

Carla is a reasonable character for the most part. I think she should have also suspected what was happening a little sooner, but it’s also reasonable to assume that she would have some memory issues. By the end of the film her will power wasn’t particularly strong though which hurt her character arc a bit. Willpower isn’t something you can train all that much, it’s just something that you have but she could have used it to a better extent.

The writing was actually pretty good here. I can’t say I had any complaints with it. I mean, the town could be super unreasonable but at this point I can’t even say that is an unrealistic thing to see. The film is quite short so it doesn’t drag on and is over in the blink of an eye. The film isn’t super violent or graphic compared to the average Hammer film either. At worst the film might just move a bit slowly at times, but I would argue that the film’s plot never comes to a halt either. There really isn’t much time for big filler scenes.

Overall, The Gorgon certainly is a film that you have seen many times before. Switch out the character names and this could work as any other retro horror film. Still, while it is generic the film doesn’t necessarily handle itself poorly. It’s still a big improvement over films like Dracula and the Werewolf titles. I’d recommend watching it if you want an old horror film like this one. It takes itself seriously and I’d say that it has aged well in the sense that it’s not campy or anything. That can actually be a tough thing to accomplish nowadays. It feels like most old films can be pretty cheesy when watched in the present.

Overall 6/10

Kromaia Ω Review

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Kromaia is a game I got thanks to the big Toys R Us sale. Otherwise I don’t think I ever would have gotten to play it so this worked out well. It’s a pretty fun shooter game. The title is a little short and won’t be revolutionizing the genre, but it’s a very unique game and one that you will enjoy. Even as I type this I am tempted to go back and complete the other levels again so I can unlock the true ending. Perhaps at some point I’ll get on that. If this game ever gets a big sequel I’ll be on the lookout for that.

The game starts off with a little lore. I’m not sure I got the correct meaning from it, but what I understood is that there are 4 gods which rule this universe. They seem to have wiped out humanity in the process, but we are able to put a soul into our last spaceship. This spaceship must now go into each of the 4 corners of the universe and wipe out the deities. Fortunately as each one is content with their victory they have no way to communicate with each other so you can take them all out. If you destroy them all then you can get the key to the universe!

Each level starts off with a little message about this and your A.I. will warn you when the bosses show up. It’s a pretty fun story and the mystery angle is handled quite well. I think the story is what helps bump the game to the next level. Without it the gameplay would still be fun but the story always adds a little something extra. There are 4 levels in the game. The first part is about getting through 20 rings. Doing so will summon the boss for the big end of level fight. Each boss is unique in how you will handle them. The first one is about taking down all of the weak points while the 4th one must be overheated so you can reach them. They’re all unique and this game follows the correct standard of not reusing bosses.

Each world has a unique armor and once you’ve beaten all of them the first time you can use whichever one you want for each level. Plus if you want to unlock the final level you’ll need to beat all 4 levels with all 4 armors. It adds a little replay value and the game is just short enough where this doesn’t feel like a big grind. I do think the bosses seemed to get harder when I went back to beat them again, but maybe that’s my imagination. I only went back to the first boss to beat it the additional times so far. My favorite armor is probably the sword one. You’d think that having a close quarters combat mech in a bullet hell game would be a bad idea, but it’s really op. Pretty much any opponent will go down in a single swing to that armor. That’s how good it is.

To go a little more in depth on the gameplay, it’s 3D as I mentioned. Each armor has 2 weapons, the main attack and a charged one. Typically you’ll be focusing on the main weapon, but I recommend using the charge as soon as it’s ready. You also have a boost option which will boost in the direction you are moving in so sometimes you can use it as a full retreat option or to go towards the boss if you wish. The controls are pretty smooth once you get the hang of it. Focus on mastering each armor and you’ll be unbeatable. My least favorite was probably the green one. It’s not bad, but it felt like the weakest option.

The graphics are quite solid. There’s always a lot happening on screen and the game has a ton of character models so you can see how much heart was put into it. The level designs are really fun. You feel like you’re in another version of outer space as everything is futuristic. I also thought the soundtrack was good although it can be a little hard to hear among the constant blasting. In particular the green armor is very loud with his attacks. Kromaia went above expectations for sure. Especially as my initial impression on it wasn’t great as I first played the level earlier in the year and died. I remember putting the game down at that point and only just got back to it. The game can be a little vague on where you have to go and how to get there, but once you get used to the compass you’ll be set for the rest of the game.

There is a level up system here. I made it to level 12 but it’s hard to tell when you’re getting exp or not so I didn’t actually fight too many enemies. I’d just fly over to the boss. Apparently there are 100 levels though and I imagine that you will be incredibly powerful by that point. It helps add to the replay value. While the campaign is quite short it should still take you quite a while to reach the Platinum trophy. I got the game for around 5 or less with the 75% off at Toys R Us but 20 wouldn’t be bad. If you have to spend 30 or more then I would think twice about it. Take a look at the gameplay videos and see how it looks to you.

Overall, Kromaia was quite a bit of fun. It was more enjoyable than I thought it would be and while some games tend to be less enjoyable in hindsight it is quite the opposite for this title. There aren’t too many big 3D bullet hell games right now so if you have yet to check this genre out then Kromaia is a great way to start off. It can be a little challenging but never unfair. There are also frequent check points so you’ll eventually make it through. If any section seems impossible then try going at it with a different approach. The bosses can be deceptive but they can all be soundly defeated with the right strategy.

Overall 7/10

Thor vs Thanos

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infinity-006-035
Suggested by Big Red Thanos and Thor are some of the stronger comic book characters out there. Both of them possess powerful combat options in both short and long range. Thanos has many energy blasts thanks to the Infinity Gems while Thor’s got Odin Force and Mjolnir. It’s a fight that could certainly go either way. In base form Thanos typically has a significant advantage over Thor but at peak it’s hard to say how the fight would go. I’d have to give Thanos the slight edge here as having the Infinity Stones helps a lot with regeneration as well as its array of energy blasts. Thor would keep the fight close, but I think his durability would fall off first. Thanos wins.

Ned Ryerson vs Harpnote

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GroundhogDay (1)
Suggested by Destroyer Harpnote is the main heroine of Megaman Star Force and she can be a pretty solid fighter. Ned Ryerson is good at giving a sales pitch, but I don’t think he can handle her audio abilities. A single good hit would take him out and Harpnote could simply end this through hand to hand combat if she so desired. The difference in ability between these two is quite large and I don’t see how Ned can reduce the gap. Harpnote wins.

Lazerman vs Mongul

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Suggested by Destroyer Mongul is one of the stronger DC villains out there. His raw strength is absolutely incredible and he has enough durability to take full powered hits from Superman. He’s certainly no joke, but at the same time neither is Lazerman. Lazerman has a good amount of speed at his disposal and his Disruption Blast can really bring on the pain. Mongul is strong enough to endure quite a few hits, but he will have a difficult time landing any counters. Lazerman wins.

Pichu vs Mewtwo

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Suggested by Sonic Mewtwo is probably the strongest Pokemon of them all. He’s proven himself time and time again in combat. The only Pokemon that are even close to him would be other heavy hitters like Deoxys and Pikachu and both have had trouble with him in the past. Pichu’s speed is usually quite an asset, but against Mewtwo’s psychic abilities it will be of little use. Mewtwo also has great levels of speed in his mega form which makes him even more unbeatable. Mewtwo wins.

Pichu vs Wario

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Suggested by Sonic Wario is big and strong. He didn’t become one of Mario’s biggest rivals for nothing. Still, size and power are never enough to deal with speed on this level. Wario can use his bike to try and keep up but it will simply be of no use. Pichu will still have the superior speed and his power is on a different level. His abilities simply will not be matched. Pichu wins.