Kid Icarus Review

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It’s time to look at my next journey into the NES ONLINE collection. This time Kid Icarus was my next conquest and it’s definitely one of those games that is reasonably fun but held back by a lot of dated mechanics. Fortunately the save states do help make up for these aspects.

The basic plot is that Pit has to stop the ultimate evil known as Medusa from destroying his world. Lady Palutena has gifted him with many skills and now it’s up to him to put them to use. The gameplay is pretty basic as you jump from platform to platform as you deal with monsters by shooting your arrows. You can shoot your arrows in a straight line facing forward or up. Typically the levels will ask you to either climb very high or go all the way to the right. Each world has 4 levels and there are 3 full worlds with 1 final level. The 4th level in each world is the boss level which also serves as a huge maze.

The normal levels are pretty fun and will really test your platforming skills. A single misstep can mean the end of you. Your health also depletes quite rapidly so you’ll want to keep an eye on your health bar at all times. You do get a few lives so you won’t go all the way back but these levels are quite difficult so you would be wise not to underestimate them. You obtain hearts by defeating enemies which you can trade for health potions or temporary attack upgrades.

What holds the game back is the 4th level of these worlds. The mazes are quite frankly way too large. You’ll be lost with no end in sight here. It works like Metroid where if you don’t have a guide you will need to draw a map of your own. I can definitely acknowledge the time and dedication you would have had to spend to do such a thing back then. Games are really tricky back then…maybe too tricky. After all, this is more tedious than challenging after a point. You can easily waste hours going through this just as I used up a bunch of hours in Metroid. Some games just really haven’t aged well to be honest. Others have continued to excel though so that’s a good thing. Kid Icarus is kind of in the middle. It’s not bad, but this does prevent it from being truly good.

The final level is a nice look at what the game could have been like though. It’s an aerial level where you blast away at enemies in a level where the camera is constantly scrolling. It takes a lot of skill to blast your way to the end but it also doesn’t feel tedious. The final boss is also quite inventive as you have to blast at the enemy while blocking her attacks. You can only pick one option at a time so you have to constantly time your attacks just right. Mess up and then it’s all over for you. Definitely not a final boss to be taken lightly either. This whole game is one that is more challenging than it may appear at first glance.

As for the graphics, those are pretty good. The game uses the classic sprites as were the norm back then. The sprites do a good job of giving the characters clear designs. Then you’ve got the soundtrack which is pretty basic but effective. The main theme has certainly become iconic over the years. I can’t say that I really recall any of the other themes off the top of my head, but it’s pretty soothing and fits in with the levels. After all, this game is a pretty calm platformer in the sense that there is no timer. You can take as long as you need to in order to fully process the enemy movement patterns. Slow and steady will win the race here.

A unique gimmick this game also has is the fact that a certain enemy can transform you into an eggplant. If you are hit with this curse then you need to try and find a healing station to cure you. Until that happens you can’t attack anymore which puts you in a very vulnerable spot. It can definitely be annoying when it hits you since that’s most likely it for that life, but it’s a fun little feature that’s just so random that it really works.

Overall, Kid Icarus has its fun moments, but its downsides as well. You gotta take the game as a mixed package and likewise I gave it a pretty mixed review. Honestly there isn’t much reason to play it as this point though. If you want to experience the Pit adventures then just check out Uprising. It’s an improvement in literally every way and is a very satisfying experience. The original Kid Icarus is a good title to play for the novelty, but you won’t be missing out on much by skipping it. I’m sure it was fun for its time, but there are just better platformers to play nowadays like CupHead or something like that. Of course if you already have the online Nintendo Switch membership then you may as well check the game out since it’s free. It’s only a few hours long and you can use the save states as much as needed in order to secure your win.

Overall 5/10

Fear in the Night Review

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It’s time to look at a really old murder mystery film. It’s definitely an interesting noir title, but one that is held back by some issues. The biggest of these issues is naturally the main character who is extremely annoying throughout the entire film. The guy just never knows when to man up and face the music. Still, while this one won’t be winning any film awards, I’d recommend checking it out. It does still have a pretty interesting premise.

So the film starts with Vince breaking into some lady’s house and murdering someone. He then runs home and “wakes” from his dream. The problem is that Vince has quite a few pieces of physical evidence that prove he was at the house. He then gets caught in a rainstorm with his brother in law who’s a detective, the detective’s wife, and a co-worker from his job. They have to take shelter in a nearby house which is the place from Vince’s dream. The pieces all fit together and it seems like Vince did commit murder. Why doesn’t he remember? Vince better think of something soon or he may be put in the chair.

As soon as Vince wakes up with the physical evidence you know that the dream was certainly true. The real mystery is just why he did it. Does Vince have a split personality or was he being manipulated? We find out the answer near the very end of the film, but it really makes Vince look worse and worse. If a strange guy busts into your room at night and starts talking nonsense about you being tired would you just roll back to sleep? That’s what Vince does as locking a door is a foreign concept to him. Then he also displays low will power as someone offers him a mysterious cough drop thing. He declines several times, but then breaks down and haves it. Clearly Vince isn’t all that smart or determined. It’s just hard to take him seriously.

At first I thought he had potential because upon appearing I immediately took note at his striking resemblance to Matt Damon. The guy looks just like him which was crazy. It’s sort of how Lon Chaney looks just like Bill Murray. Unfortunately he didn’t get any of the signature toughness that Matt usually has. He freaks out quite a lot and isn’t any good at acting innocent. When they get to the house he keeps on knowing things that he shouldn’t. Doesn’t Vince have the common sense not to make himself look so incredibly guilty? Probably not because he makes every mistake in the book. Even near the end he decides to try taking a shortcut by jumping out the window. He had been told numerous times that one of the ladies was having a kid so this was a bad time for stress and he was about to jump out while she was right there. Definitely selfish as well as being a terrible mistake. Vince singlehandily weakens the film.

Fortunately Cliff is a much more reasonable character. He really hopes that Vince is talking nonsense, but it is his duty to investigate so the more Vince goes over the edge the more he has to take this seriously. I can see why he’s pretty irritable about the whole thing. He does go off on Vince during one moment, but Vince had been acting so shifty earlier. I also liked the deputy who shows up at one point to aid Cliff. The cops are all on point here which is always nice to see. They may not have cracked the case, but it was a pretty tough one especially if you didn’t really have context for it.

Now, did the film do a good job with how it wrapped things up? I think it’s a bit iffy honestly. A lot of things had to happen conveniently for the villain’s plan to succeed. The first major point is that the main character had to be terribly weak for this to work in the first place. Also, Vince couldn’t even do that right as he would have lost if not for one of the victims giving him a weapon by mistake. Definitely a very sloppy move on her part as she should have just stabbed him directly. Still, this twist at the end did add a bit of a supernatural element to the film since I never bought into this particular technique. Every time I’ve seen it used in person it was complete hooey. Maybe it can work, but not this quickly and not with this particular method.

The film can be quite dramatic, but at the end of the day it’s still pretty interesting from cover to cover. You just have to get past the fact that Vince can’t seem to do anything right. Beyond that the rest of the characters are good and the writing is certainly on point. Even minor characters like the bank owner look pretty good here as they all scramble to do their jobs correctly. When Vince wasn’t home, I definitely agree with the manager checking his books just in case. Don’t want anyone running off with the money right? Fear in the Night plays the noir genre pretty straight. There aren’t a lot of twists and wrinkles, but there isn’t really anything bad about the film either. It’s just pretty low key.

Overall, I’d recommend checking out Fear in the Night. It’s a solid movie that you will enjoy so long as you like mysteries or old school thrillers. There isn’t any real action so the whole thing is built up using pure suspense. It’s definitely not the kind of film you could really expect to see nowadays. It’s a relic of the past, but one that has definitely aged well. How much you’ll enjoy it will likely depend on how many other noir titles you’ve seen over the years. If you haven’t seen a whole lot then you’ll really enjoy it. If you have seen a bunch then this one may feel a little more generic. Still, on the whole I don’t think you’ll regret watching it. Just remember that if a stranger shows up and starts acting shifty you should show him the door. That or just don’t be weak.

Overall 7/10

Down A Dark Hall Review

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It’s time to look at a very recent horror film that I hadn’t heard of before watching it. This film really flew under the radar. Granted, I’m not the biggest expert on films coming out and all that, but I like to think that I still know most of them right away. This one is actually not bad for a horror title. The genre in general has a hard time succeeding with me, but this one avoided most of the pitfalls.

The film starts with our lead Kit getting into trouble yet again. After her father died she has turned into a bit of a juvenile delinquent and the schools can’t handle her. Fortunately, the head mistress of a school for the troubled shows up and offers to take Kit in. Since at this point it’s between the school and prison, the parents take Kit there. One big red flag is that the entire school is made up of only a handful of other kids who arrive the day after Kit. All of them have one specific talent which appears to be growing fast under this school’s tutelage. Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all!

Of course in a film like this it is never so easy for the heroes. It turns out that the villains have a convoluted plan involving possession and body transfers using the souls of the dead. As the main characters are fairly young it isn’t as if they have a whole lot of willpower. Also, while they have gotten mixed up in their fair share of crimes, they haven’t become total villains yet. It seems like the spiritual villains here are bad to the core and so they have more willpower. It shouldn’t work like that of course but the only heroic spirit here isn’t able to d a single thing. I’m talking about Kit’s father. He shows up once in a while but ultimately doesn’t really contribute. It’s hard to say if he could even see Kit half the time. I want to say that he couldn’t because the alternative is that he was turning a blind eye to the situation.

The film has some intense visuals like the best friend being chained up and turned into a demon and the house being on fire made for a solid climax. However, the jump scares are pretty forced and do not work so well. It’s not really an intense horror title in that sense as the atmosphere may be pretty tense but the film can’t capitalize on it. The good side of this is that the film dodged the animal violence angle and isn’t too violent. It’s more of a slow burner and then in the climax everything starts happening at once. I do think the villains wanted too long to make their move though.

The way their possession works seems highly inefficient. It’s like they have to nurture the kid’s talent which then turns them into a better vessel. Then they just play some more and run around until they have enough power to do something else. Problem is that it is still easy to kick them out when you have a third party helping and then their plan is down the drain. I guess it’s nice for the heroes to actually have a supernatural opponent they can take on for a change though.

Most of the girls don’t really get much in the way of character but the ones who do get a personality are reasonable. Kit is a solid lead, she never backed down when the bully (Veronica) would make threats. She would probably lose the fight but at least Kit won’t run away. Veronica gets a lot of character development as well and is decent by the end but from the initial threats I feel like she is pretty far gone at this point. The others are all red shirts (If you saw the original Star Trek show then you’ll know what I mean) so it gets pretty dicey for them. That’s why you should always try to stick by the main character so her plot armor can protect you. Otherwise it’s basically over.

Kit’s parents are actually pretty reasonable here as well. Sending her to the school makes sense in the context that they tried every other option and they kept not working. Plus, they at least did tell her to stay in contact and rebound guy #1 told her that they’d come get her if she didn’t like the experience. Anything shady happens and they’ll be right over. Instead of actually doing this when given the opportunity Kit just pretends that it’s all okay. She should have spoken up though as there’s not much that the head mistress could do by this point. Even if she slammed the phone or tried to tell the parents not to come that wouldn’t fly. Then they could have done an investigation or something. If Kit was staying to help the other kids and felt that this would put them at risk then I suppose it’s a fine call. Still, I thought it was good that the parents gave her a choice like that and clearly still cared a lot for her safety.

Then you have the teachers who all have their own motivations for being here. The music teacher is the only one who is really out of his depth here and naturally that leads him into the romance plot which fortunately doesn’t get much screen time. It’s all way too sudden to be believable. Naturally the head mistress gets the biggest role out of these characters and she certainly makes sure the characters know that she is the leader. She mostly acts the part of the polite but stern mistress at the school and never really breaks the act to be real crazy. She’s a fun villain and you definitely want to have a composed mastermind character like her at the ready.

Overall, This definitely isn’t a horror movie that you’ll still be talking about in a few days. It definitely could have been a lot worse though as at least it is still pretty entertaining and doesn’t go too far into trying for shock value. At the same time there isn’t really much of a reason to check this movie out in particular. There are better horror titles to watch so only see this if you’re a big horror buff.

Overall 5/10

ROB vs Wario

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Suggested by Sonic It’s time for ROB to jump back into the fray. This one’s a pretty interesting case since neither opponent is really all that strong. ROB has a lot of lasers as we’ve discussed but Wario has his Wario Man form. I guess as of now I’d give Wario the slight edge here. The flight will come in handy and Wario has shown a good amount of super strength in the past so his attacks will deal a lot of damage. ROB’s no lightweight, but the damage will add up very quickly. Wario wins.

The BioLizard vs Cerebrus

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Suggested by Destroyer Cerebrus isn’t a very well known character at all, but he did give Ironman a pretty good fight back in the day. He may be able to fire off a few good shots at The BioLizard, but it’s not as if the attacks will deal any damage so he isn’t a threat. The BioLizard can just step on Cerebrus and that would be the end of the match. The difference in sheer power and size is absolutely massive. The poor villain never even stood a chance. The BioLizard wins.

ROB vs Marth

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Suggested by Sonic Marth may be known as a close quarters fighter so you’d expect him to be at a disadvantage here, but he still has the sheer range and attack power to deal with ROB. ROB will have a hard time landing a hit on Marth and once the swordsman has appeared within range it’ll all be over. ROB’s only chance is to end the match right away and otherwise Marth will seize the lead. I just don’t think ROB is strong enough to pull such a plan off. Marth wins.

The BioLizard vs Miss Arrow

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Suggested by Destroyer The BioLizard has been on a roll today and it looks like that will continue here. Miss Arrow is hard to hit because she can turn into spiders and escape from attacks that way. It’s not good enough against a heat attack like BioLizard’s lasers though. They’ll just keep melting away at her until there is nothing left. Miss Arrow has no means of counter attacking either so really all she can do is delay the inevitable. That’s not good enough to win. The BioLizard wins.

ROB vs Mega Man

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Suggested by Sonic Mega Man has dozens of different special powers that he has accumulated over the years. ROB has some nice lasers and other projectiles at his disposal, but he is completely outmatched in that regard. Mega Man was built to destroy robots like ROB. In comparison ROB has no real experience fighting other super powered fighters and won’t last for very long in the ring. Mega Man wins.

The BioLizard vs Utrominator

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Suggested by Destroyer The Utrominator has some good attack options up his sleeve. That being said, they all pale in comparison to The BioLizard’s. Utrominator’s attacks likely wouldn’t even leave a dent while taking a single hit from this SA2B Final Boss could be the end. It’s really just a difference in physical ability here that makes the matchup impossible from the start. There just isn’t anything that the Utrominator can do to really have a shot at winning. The BioLizard wins.

Lucario vs Samus

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Suggested by Sonic It’s time for a battle of powerhouses. Samus has a lot of power in that armor of hers and can easily land some devastating hits in close quarters thanks to her speed and agility. It won’t be enough to stop Lucario though. Lucario was already powerful before he obtained his Mega Evolution. With it he has ascended to a much higher level than Samus and she just won’t be able to keep up with his speed. Lucario wins.