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Transistor Review

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It’s time to look at a video game I just managed to complete today. It’s not a title that I was familiar with before playing so it’s always fun to enter a game blind. It’s definitely got a very cryptic environment which works well like Bendy or Undertale. Like those games there is a deep plot that you’ll understand if you pay attention and do a lot of the bonus content, but if not then you’ve got the dedicated fans who will spell it out for you online. It’s a fun experience although I do have to give the ending a thumbs down.

The movie starts off with the lead Red as she wakes up next to someone who’s been stabbed. The enemy had tried to destroy her, but they ended up getting this guy instead. When she takes the sword out it talks to her and reveals his name to be Transistor. Red’s voice was unfortunately damaged so she can no longer talk. Red used to be a singer so this was pretty tragic. The whole city (Maybe the whole world?) has been taken over by a robotic army led by the Camerata. Red needs to take them all down and steal their souls to try and find a way to revive Transistor. Unfortunately the entire city is basically a ghost town at this point so she has to wonder how much progress she is actually making.

If you want a more detailed plot definitely check out Wikipedia as they’ve got it all down there. You’ll get the basic plot as you play the game, but don’t expect to learn it all right away since it is part mystery. The pieces start to add up and you’ll come across a lot of news articles and blogs in the game. There are terminals that can be found just about anywhere. You get extra trophies for interacting with everything so it’s not a bad idea to check them all out. Now lets talk about the gameplay. You are able to hum with one button and another lets you sweep a bit. You’ll never need to use either technique, but it’s nice to have them around.

The actual gameplay is Xcom style, but with a dash of real time action. You manuever your character through a sealed off area as you try to eliminate all of the enemies. You can attack in real time with one hit at a time or you can freeze time and use a few actions as a combo. The latter is pretty much mandatory as you progress through the game. Hitting an enemy from behind will deal more damage but then you have to try and calculate their trajectory to land the follow-up hit. There’s a ton of strategy to consider here which is pretty cool. Then you’ve got a robust level up system which unlocks more powers. You have to choose which ones to equip and which to keep on standby as you have very limited space. You also have limiters you can put on which further restricts your memory, but gives you more XP per fight. I turned on every limiter I had until the very final boss.

It was fun to take off my limiters as if this was DBZ and then go wild on the guy. It will ensure you have more of a challenge throughout the game, but in my opinion it’s worth it because every level up helps you out considerably. This is the kind of game where level ups make a huge difference. You also have a beach house you can go to in order to do extra fights and grind some XP as well. There’s no need to do it as the game is challenging, but not crazy. Still, the option is there so you will want to keep it in mind. Also make sure to destroy the enemy cores after you beat the minions since they will revive within 5-8 seconds otherwise.

The actual game is fairly short at about 3-4 hours. You can stretch this out to around 8 or so if you go for everything. I think one of the trophies is for beating the game twice as well so getting the Platinum will take quite a lot of time. It’s a short title, but a fun one so I expect you’ll have a fun time regardless. The deciding factor here will likely be how you enjoy the gameplay. I liked it a lot since strategy is my thing. It’s the kind of “puzzle” in a sense that I can actually enjoy. I also did like the cryptic plot. In a way games can be extra fun when they never tell you what’s going on. You get to fill in all the blanks and whenever a game/film/any kind of media hides things rather than spelling it out I think it works really well. It just adds on to that mystery angle.

The graphics here look pretty good. It’ll remind you of some of the alien games for the Wii. Naturally this isn’t going to look at high end as the average AAA PS4 game, but it’s all still very smooth and leak. I also like the illustrations that pop up after each level. They look quite grand and I’m sure quite a lot of effort was put into them. Some of these are interactive as well so always be sure to stay sharp. As for the soundtrack, I can’t say that it was very memorable. It was cool that we got actual songs though. The song that played during the first level was quite good. I was surprised that we didn’t get many more after that, but considering that it has a full soundtrack I imagine there are a ton more that were created for the game.

As I mentioned the ending isn’t very satisfying though. I can’t really talk about it at all without spoilers, but it didn’t really work. I will say that it’s not all that selfish on Red’s part since as I mentioned there aren’t a lot of people around anymore. I was just against it on principal, but in her shoes its not as if the decision doesn’t make sense. It makes sense for sure, but in the same logic that a lot of villains tend to use in various series. It was unexpected though, I’ll definitely grant the game that. I did not think it was heading in that direction at all.

Overall, Transistor is a fun game. It’s definitely one of those titles that is a lot of fun for the experience. Once you know how things are going to end up I don’t think you would be able to play it through for a second time. At least not for a long while. At the same time the new game + may give you extra story details which would be cool. There is a lot of post game content here as well as you try to max out your level. If you haven’t played this game yet then I’d recommend checking it out. I don’t think you should really be paying more than $20 for it though considering the short length. Once you start you will definitely be sucked into it and hopefully we do get a sequel someday. It doesn’t feel very likely based on the ending though.

Overall 7/10

Lethal Weapon Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to take a look at a thriller from back in the day. Lethal Weapon is a pretty popular thriller series and now I can say that I have finally started it. It’s aged pretty well and will definitely give you a solid amount of action. It’s going to be tough for the sequels to top this one and that’s always what you want to see. The first film of a series should always start off on a good note to keep you around for the sequels.

The movie starts off with introducing us to the two lead characters. Martin busts up a drug deal by pretending to be a buyer. This does lead to him almost getting murdered but he manages to get out in one piece. The fact that he takes unnecessary risks when going on these missions allows him to make it through in scenarios like this. Then you have Roger who is nearing retirement and plays things by the books. He’s told that he will now have to work with Martin since the guy is such a risk and nobody wants to work with him. Roger feels the same way, but it’s an order so he’ll get it done. What starts out as a simple drug crime becomes a big conspiracy as more victims are found and the enemies appear to have government issued weapons. Roger may have to take some big risks this time.

Lethal Weapon’s plot is sound even if it’s not the most original. The characters are basically trying to fight off a drug dealer with a few twists and turns thrown in. I don’t think the movie could go for a grander plot in the first movie since a good chunk of it is also developing the characters. This is something the movie will be able to skip in the sequel. These scenes are worth it though because they’re just a lot of fun. The character dynamic here is sound and the writing backs it up. It never feels like the scenes are wasted or that it slows down the movie’s pacing.

Martin is definitely a fun character even when he is going through quite a lot in his personal life. It’s pretty rare to have a main character who actually is suicidal. As a result he isn’t feeling 100% for most of the film and he acts very recklessly. To an extent this works out in his favor on some cases like when he busted a drug deal. Martin doesn’t let it get the best of him when we see the guy in action though. At one point Roger keeps quipping about how Martin seems to murder everyone but all of the deaths we saw in the film weren’t really avoidable. Martin proves that he is a great cop time and time again in the film. Ultimately he ended up being the MVP and Roger would have been doomed without him. It’ll be fun to see Martin in the second film since he should now be at 100%. He definitely contributes to a lot of the humor in the film as well.

Then we have Roger who is inching closer to retirement and has managed to make it through his career without injury. He has a family and considers himself to have had a pretty fortunate life so far.  Being paired up with Martin definitely changes that as now any case could potentially be fatal. Martin may not be able to fight the way his partner can but he does still have good gun skills. He’s just a nice guy to hang around with and always means well.

Finally we have Joshua who may or be the main villain but he has the most personality. He works as a hit man for the villains and was trained in special forces. As a result he makes for a pretty tough villain to beat. He also did come very close to beating Martin so the guy lived up to his hype. The actual main villain is your classic drug dealer. He’s not bad, I like the confidence at least. He just isn’t quite as memorable as his right hand man. The guy also can’t fight so it’s not like he will be mixing it up with the others.

What really makes this film work is the solid humor. The movie has a solid script with a lot of good humor. There is some language but for the most part the film stays strong. It does manage to get that Christmas dinner vibe while also getting serious when needed. It really goes through all of the emotional shifts as the movie progresses. We also get to see why Martin is known as a living weapon by the end as he gets into some fights. The scene of him breaking free from the chains and taking down a bunch of guys was handled well. If anything it made the actual ending feel a bit superfluous. I know we needed to have a fight with him and Joshua but it was a little dragged out and didn’t really impress me. I actually found some of the other battles to be better but this one still did have some nice choreography.

Lethal Weapon also has quite a few different climaxes. One of them is in the desert and we got to see Martin’s shooting skills. Their plan was quite sound there and if anything Roger’s daughter just messed it up. I understand being a little nervous but once you’re in the getaway car that’s your chance. If she had braked, turned, or done anything then the whole film could have been ended much sooner. Roger also deserves some blame there since he didn’t support Martin at all once the shooting started. That was their best chance to end things. They may have ultimately won out, but things could have gotten very dicey by not finishing the villains off in this moment.

Overall, Lethal Weapon is a movie that has aged quite well. It’s just a fun action thriller that has a nice sense of humor. The movie has good pacing and writing so those are all of the elements that you need in order to be a success. Put one way, the film had no real negatives. I could recommend it to anyone who likes a good action film and the sequel is going to have some pretty big shoes to fill. Since the characters do return in the sequel that shouldn’t be a tall order though.

Overall 7/10

Pokemon: Giratina and the Sky Warrior Review

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It’s time to look at a manga based on one of the older Pokemon films. It’s a little weird calling this one old since it feels so recent, but technically there have been a bunch that came out after this one. These manga adaptions are basically 1-1 so it’s not as if things have really changed all that much, but it’s still fun to re-live the adventure in a different format. It’s a solid story, but one where I did want a little more action.

Ash and friends were trying to have a normal day when a Pokemon known as Shaymin shows up. He’s currently being hunted by a guy called Zero as well as Giratina. Ash decides to help this guy find his family and escape the threat, but it won’t be easy. Shaymin allowed Dialga to escape Giratina and Zero wants him so that he can rule the reverse world. The whole concept of the Reverse world is actually pretty good and pretty ambitious for the series. Can Ash help make things right here?

First off you may wonder why Dialga would trap Giratina inside that world to begin with. Well, you can hardly blame him. From his point of view Giratina picked a fight and then tried to eliminate him. Dialga saw the guy as a threat and promptly locked him up. Dialga’s always been one of the cooler Pokemon and you have to admit that this was a real power move. It’s not like it’s easy to take down Giratina like that. To this day I’m still surprised that Palkia didn’t show up at all. He’s at least half responsible for all the stuff getting thrown into Giratina’s world. I suppose the dragon didn’t want to fight both at once which is understandable.

Zero is one of the better movie villains. The guy has a cool design and actually makes for a serious threat. His robots capturing Giratina is cool for him although it does hurt the Pokemon’s hype./ I also liked that he had a Magnezone since that Pokemon rarely gets to show his stuff. I suppose his personality isn’t all that deep, but he’s not comic relief which is already an important first step towards getting me to take him seriously. I really didn’t have any big qualms with him and should I ever make a list of all Pokemon movie villains, this guy would likely crack top 5.

As I mentioned Giratina did lose here so he lost some hype, but I like him otherwise. He’s a pretty reasonable guy and the fact that he was trying to manipulate Shaymin’s portals takes a lot of intellect. He’s likely one of the smarter Pokemon just with that feat. I didn’t like Shaymin quite as much. He’s your typical rebel Pokemon who talks tough but can’t really back it up. In his sky form at least he can fight a bit, but even then he’s not going to be winning very many fights. He’s an upgrade over Celebi and Jirachi, but isn’t at the level of the bigger Pokemon.

Surprisingly Ash and Pikachu get less to do here. They do more than Brock and Dawn of course, but Pikachu really doesn’t get to take anyone down. It doesn’t help that Magnezone is pretty resistant to electric attacks after all. Ash still tries his hardest and is pretty determined here though. That’s the kind of Ash I want to see and he feels like his older self here. I hope to see more of that in the new Go season coming up.

As far as the art goes, you can tell that this is a movie tie-in manga. It’s higher quality than some that I’ve read, but it’s not exactly going to be known as one of the best looking manga titles. That just was never in the cards for Giratina. Some close ups look really good like Ash gritting his teeth and his hair is drawn more spiky than usual like Megaman EXE’s. the action scenes are solid and you can always follow what’s happening so bravo on that.

I do have to question the existence of the Reverse world just a bit though. So apparently everything that happens in the real world mirrors over to this one so destruction and the like go there. With how often the real world is being attacked I feel like this should be a huge issue. Maybe it was specifically because Dialga and Palkia were messing with time and space, but I feel like the concept is a bit too grand and needs more of an explanation. I don’t blame Giratina for being upset, but it may be more reasonable to just move into the real world if the reverse one is always going to be getting wrecked in the meantime. Maybe Giratina can make a barrier of sorts.

Overall, This manga will definitely breeze by as you read through it. It’s a quality adventure and I have no issues with it. I’d recommend just watching the movie, but if that isn’t an option then this is a very good substitute. All adaptions have to try and fit in the important parts while cutting out the fluff and this one does a good job. You don’t really feel like anything is missing and it hits all the right beats as in the film. If anything it may feel more exciting at times since you get to add in your own music as you go through the adventure. I’ve got another Pokemon movie adaption coming up so I’ll be checking that one out pretty soon. This one’s less of an adaption and more of a tie-in though.

Overall 7/10

Equestria Girls: Holidays Unwrapped Review

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Time to look at the final Equestria Girls short and potentially the final animated media in the entire Friendship is Magic part of the franchise. It’s a reasonable way to end things even if I’m not the biggest fan of anthology setups. It means each story is too short to properly get a lot of development, but as this series isn’t very plot heavy in the first place it works out pretty well for itself. There are 6 shorts here and since the special is about 45 minutes that gets us to about 8 minutes each.

In the first special the Mane 7 are trying to cram for a test. Unfortunately they are not prepared for this one except for Twilight. Rainbow suggests that they get the school to cancel the test by pretending that it is snowing outside. Honestly this isn’t a bad plan at all. It’s definitely quite sneaky though but it comes very close to working. Unfortunately for them the professor was pretty sharp and not as easy to fool as Celestia. If anything the Mane 7 doomed themselves by attempting to fool the school since they had less time for the actual studying. The moral here is definitely that deception does not pay.

The second special definitely amps up the intensity as we get a snowball fight. Pinkie Pie is trying to deliver a souffle to Rarity because every year it ends up deflating before they meet. She is determined to change that this time, but the snowfall is making that difficult. Sunset Shimmer knows what it’s like to not make it somewhere in time so she makes it her mission to defeat the snowball fighters and pave the way for Pinkie to make it. It’s a very dramatic special and it’s nice to see the team all working together here. Sunset was the MVP as expected and this was definitely my favorite short.

Next up is the Apple Family getting ready for their big apple cider party. Unfortunately Flim and Flam always end up breaking in and messing everything up which puts a damper on things. Twilight Sparkle has concocted a plan to stop them this year. It’s really a good thing she showed up because Applejack would have been completely doomed otherwise. Twilight’s really good at staying one step ahead. To Flim and Flam’s credit, they actually did put up a good amount of resistance. They also had a lot of foresight and predicted some of the things that were about to happen. They just weren’t quite as smart as Twilight.

Following that up is a story where Sunset left her keys at school. Unfortunately it is a weekend so nobody is there. Each member of the group tries to figure out a way to break into the school but Twilight keeps shutting their ideas down. She doesn’t want to do anything that will be considered breaking and entering. I see her point, but the group had a lot of fun ideas. The best one is probably Applejack’s, but they all have some merits to them. Fortunately for the group Twilight has an idea of her own. It may not be as flashy as the others but it does get the job done.

Then we have a special where Rainbow Dash forgot to buy a gift for Fluttershy. It’s a good thing she has super speed, but even with that she is cutting things close. She wants to get Fluttershy a gift that feels authentic even if it is rushed. You can feel the pressure here because this is also why I always find those mystery grab bags to be tough. It’s hard enough to pick gifts normally but when you draw from a hat and have to try to find a gift for someone in particular the stakes get high. Rainbow can still be blamed for most of this since she totally forgot, but it is a hard task under any circumstance.

Finally we have a special about Applejack’s family tradition to take a photo at the end of the year. The rest of the gang don’t really feel like it, but the see how excited Applejack is and figure they should be supportive. This leads to some pretty crazy costumes and then a plot twist by Applejack at the end which definitely stings. It’s a pretty wholesome special and a nice way to end things off. It may not be as action packed as some of the first segments, but it’s always good to see the team trying to help out a friend.

As mentioned these specials are very quick so they go by in a second. Some of these segments could have easily been expanded to be their own full specials. I think the best way to handle this is to just incorporate them all into a big plot. Still, it is what it is and Holiday Unwrapped is a solid special. Equestria Girls has been a great spinoff to the main series and it definitely won’t be forgotten anytime soon. I’ll miss the characters having actual super powers in the human world. It’s a really nice dynamic and who knows, maybe Equestria Girls isn’t quite done yet. I just get the feeling that maybe we still will get another special or two down the road.

The animation is pretty solid. At this point you’ll be pretty used to the style. The animators always do a good job of staying consistent. Their action parody parts feel smooth and the same can be said about all the other aspects. The soundtrack is pretty much nonexistent here with no chance to add big songs, but I still say that the intro here is better than the main series one. It’s got a lot of energy and really starts things off with a nice pop. That’s exactly how you want to start a film.

Overall, This is a special that I’d definitely recommend. How could you not enjoy a pleasant special like this right? It’s not the next big thing in the franchise, but it’s not really going for that anyway. Think of it as a fun little Christmas special that gives you an excuse to see the characters having fun opening gifts and such. I always like Christmas episodes in any franchise, they’re just a lot of fun and in this way MLP got to have one last adventure. We’ll see where the franchise goes from here.

Overall 7/10

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Volume 15 Review

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It’s time to take a look at the next My Little Pony volume. We’ve got quite a few hype stories here ranging from Mane 6 adventures to the supporting characters stepping up to the plate. As expected this is a very solid volume that keeps up the momentum from the last one. It’s also cool that the series has enough issues for 15 whole trades. That’s really not an easy feat for any series. It shows that MLP is doing quite good.

First up we see Rarity and Fluttershy head over to Manehattan. Fluttershy is here to learn more about how to operate an animal shelter while Rarity wanted to get some inspiration for her fashion trends. Unfortunately Rarity is saddened to learn that the fashion has gone back in time to when she first went there and developed a line. She doesn’t want to re-do what she used to make, but at the same time Rarity doesn’t like creating her own trend. Meanwhile Fluttershy’s workshop doesn’t go well since the ponies keep guilt tripping them all on what they should have done originally. Now Fluttershy isn’t sure if she should have created a shelter in the first place.

It’s a fun story and one that is packed with plotlines since we have two in one issue. I think Rarity’s predicament was a little easier. Sure, it’s not really as fun to develop the same things you’ve already done, but she does learn where she could have improved the first time around. For Fluttershy the whole situation is pretty stressful since she finds out that her shelter has basically been operating outside the law. Still, it’s not like she can fix the past so she does her best to move forward. A solid way to start the collection.

Next up is the best issue in my opinion. Princess Celestia apparently goes down into town once a year in disguise. She uses a powerful amulet to seal away all of her powers to make the disguise more complete. I personally think she could have done the illusion without losing her powers, but I suppose whatever will trick the ponies more completely right? Unfortunately someone steals her amulet so now she needs the help of the Mane 6 to get it back. It’s a fun tale because we rarely get to see Celestia hang out with the main characters as just another pony. It did take a lot of convincing to get the Mane 6 to accept her though. I suppose Celestia will always be a little intimidating. Meanwhile the pony who stole the amulet works for an old lady who seems pretty corrupt. It was interesting to have a villain group like this standing in the heroes’ way. The villain also did get super powers even if it didn’t lead up to a big fight. This story had the highest stakes.

Then we had a story where we find out that Ponyville is doing a movie based on the Mane 6’s adventures. Rarity and friends are offered jobs as directors to make sure that the whole thing is historically accurate. The problem is that everyone has different memories of how things went down and they can’t agree on a single vision. This ultimately leads each of the ponies to try and do their own thing rather than teaming up. We get 6 different scenes that are spliced into a movie which goes about as well as you would expect. So whose memories were right or are all of them a little off? The characters are all a little unreasonable here as you’d expect. I guess the offer of being a director was just a little too tempting for them to resist. The group definitely don’t tend to get along when they have to team up like this. It’s a good reminder that your memories aren’t always 100% accurate and likely differ from the person next to you.

Finally we have the big story that takes up two issues. It takes place after the movie and Tempest is still having a hard time adjusting to normal pony life. They all just seem so happy and over the top cheerful for Tempest to really feel at ease. She decides to leave the kingdom for a while and Cadence suggests that she go and help out a nearby village. Tempest meets up with one of the ponies she used to be friends with before she turned evil but still harbors a grudge over the past. She will have to put that to the side for now though since the cosmic bear who broke her horn as a filly has returned. Tempest will need all of her skills to win this round.

This was the weakest story for me. The length wasn’t an issue, but I do think that Tempest got nerfed a little too hard here. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t have been able to defeat the bear with ease. The comic has her freeze with terror and it was a traumatic experience back when she was a kid, but I feel like she would have taken this situation in stride a lot better than she did here. I also don’t blame her for being upset at the other ponies because in the film we saw how they abandoned her. It turns out that they went on a really fun vacation and sort of forgot about Tempest. Mix that in with Tempest being overly defensive and they just broke apart. Tempest definitely got a pretty raw deal all things considered, but things are looking up for her. Her character development arc is similar to Starlight’s, but she just hasn’t gotten quite as much screen time yet. Hopefully she gets to appear more in the future.

The artwork here is definitely solid. The ponies are very expressive like the later seasons of the show. The colors are vibrant and it’s very easy to read through these issues. It’s a fun volume through and through. It also felt a little longer than the last trade since we got 5 issues here instead of 4. It helps add more value to your purchase. The writing here is solid and consistent so I have no qualms there. While the Mane 6 may still fight quite a lot considering how many friendship lessons they should have learned by now it does remind you that you can always learn something new.

Overall, Volume 15 is pretty solid. Without the Cutie Mark Crusaders I wouldn’t put it quite as high up as volume 14, but it’s definitely close. As I mentioned my favorite story is the Celestia one. It’s always a cool concept to have the leader walking around town in disguise. It also makes sense to do this since the leader won’t hear everyone’s true thoughts. It’s always a sad reality for the boss that there are layers put onto everything they hear. You’ll never get past the filters no matter how nice you may appear to be so becoming just “one of the ponies” is the best way around this. I’ll be checking out volume 16 pretty soon so stay tuned!

Overall 7/10

NFL Head Coach 09 Review

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It’s time to take a look at a very different Football game. I’ve always enjoyed the Madden games as well as the 2K versions and pretty much any other football game. Unfortunately Head Coach is the first Football game that I did not enjoy. I would actually have to give this one a negative score because it’s just not any fun. The title is a giveaway so I knew what I was getting myself into. Still, I did expect the developers to do something to spice things up here. It’s really a very straightforward coaching game.

You can jump into a career or a quick game to see what it’s like. I chose the quick game option but there is nothing “quick” about it. One half took about 30-40 minutes and that was pretty surprising. A normal Madden game is way shorter. I believe it’s because this game uses 15 minute quarters like the real sport while Madden typically has 5 minute quarters. I always understood why the games don’t do 15 minute quarters and this game proves it. It makes the games incredibly long and while you may have fun if you’re in the match, being a coach doesn’t offer the same level of immersion. What happens is you get to select the plays before each action.

Then you watch the computers carry out your play. Rinse and repeat as you go through the game. Honestly it’s basically no different than watching two computers play each other and I dare say that it’s worse. Choosing the next play just slows things down. Since you know the A.I. is probably going to mess up your play you’d rather they just take the wheel. I’m sure this gameplay style will have its fans, but I am not one of them. Each play takes so long and you can just pick random plays so you can do this with your eyes close. Ultimately the game seems to heavily rely on luck/RNG so it’s not like your picking does a whole lot.

The graphics aren’t bad. It looks more like PS2 than PS3 so I’m thinking that this game was more low budget compared to the main title. Nothing wrong with that of course, if anything it does add a layer of nostalgia to the title. Even that was not enough to really help the game in the long run though. The presentation isn’t nearly as good as Madden either since we miss out on most of the festivities. You get to have the coach yell out plays and praise/insult the team depending on how things go. This gets old pretty quick though and I’d rather have the announcers yelling out the play by play.

There’s a lot of replay value here technically. You can start a career as a coach and that’ll last you a very long time. It never even really needs to end. At the same time, this is all with the same gameplay style. You’ll likely end up not playing through every game at some point. I got this game for a few bucks in Florida many years ago so it’s not like it cost a whole lot. I’m not sure if I would call it the worst mainstream sport game, but it really could be. Naturally the golf games are also up there and I’m not a fan of some of the newer Baseball titles. I’ll be playing a lot of Baseball soon though so maybe that’ll help my fundamentals.

There’s not a whole lot of other things to do here. You’ve already basically heard the entire gameplay which in a way is pretty scary. There are other things you can do between plays like subbing out players and calling timeouts. That is really the extent of the gameplay though. I was hoping there was a mode where you could become a player, but I suppose that would be an odd choice since it would then become a normal Madden game. Even if I would have liked that as an option I suppose I see why it was not added in. That would have been pretty awesome though.

Overall, NFL Head Coach 09 is probably the most boring game I’ve ever played. It’s not like it has poorly designed levels or puzzles to make the game bad. There’s not really any “bad” features in this title. The only issue I have with it is that the game just isn’t any fun to play. I can’t find any joy in leaving it up to the computers. I feel like the whole point of playing a game is to use my skills to make a difference. What difference am I making if I’m just letting the computers take the reins? There’s a reason why they don’t make Head Coach games anymore and I’m betting that it’s because people got burned out. You can only play this kind of game for so long before you throw in the towel. There is one more Head Coach game for the PS2, but realistically I doubt I will ever play that game. If it turns up for a dollar or two I’d quickly purchase it, but otherwise that’s a no go from me.

Overall 4/10

Super Tennis Review

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It’s time to take a look at a SNES game that actually has not aged well. So far the games have been pretty solid with good gameplay and nice artwork. Unfortunately this game breaks the streak pretty decisively. This just isn’t a fun game and it’s probably the worst SNES game I’ve played.

When you jump into the game you are able to play quick battles with the computer or jump into circuit mode. There is also a multiplayer option you can try out here. There aren’t a lot of modes but you shouldn’t be expecting a whole lot anyway since this game did come out a while back. The modes aren’t an issue since the ones that we got are the key ones. The issue here is purely the gameplay and since that is arguably the most important aspect of a game it hurts quite a lot. It’s like the game is trying to be super precise with where you hit the ball and the technology just wasn’t there yet.

The goal of the game is to hit the ball into the opponents side of the court. If they are unable to hit the ball before if bounces back then you win the point. You just can’t hit the ball too far or you lose the point, too low, or too far to the side. That really limits your options but most tennis games do a pretty good job of letting you in control without hitting the ball out of bounds the whole time. In a way it’s ambitious of the game to not put any safety into the controls. If you hold right too hard then you will hit it out. In most games you have to try really hard to hit it out of bounds. It’s just that this makes it very difficult for you to actually play for any stretch of time. The only shot that seems to work is hitting the ball to the middle of the court and the computer always seems to hit those back anyway.

I did get a few points from when he would occasionally miss but it wasn’t very often at all. Typically the computer would just come back swinging and demolish me. You’ve also got to react quickly or try to predict the next play because you can’t run to the shot fast enough if you wait to see it. The computer will drop a quick ball near the front which falls almost immediately. The key is to just run on instinct but of course that ends up backfiring if he does a normal shot. The whole thing just feels futile at times, but I’m sure there is a trick. Games aren’t made to be unwinnable and people found ways to claim victory somehow. I just wasn’t able to figure out just how to do this.

In terms of graphics the game isn’t bad. It’s pretty much par for the course and while it won’t be making a case for best looking SNES game, there are definitely worse titles than this one. The game makes sure that you can see the tennis ball at all times and the court looks pretty reasonable. All in all I’d say that the graphics are the least of this game’s problems.

Even though this game is free I just don’t see you playing it for very long. After you play a few games they’ll all basically feel the same. The lack of variety isn’t surprising but with the gameplay at this level it becomes a bigger issue. You could just go and buy a newer tennis game for a dollar or two and that would go a long way.

Overall, Super Tennis definitely fell way below expectations. It’s hard to even call it a fun Tennis game because it just didn’t have good gameplay. Solid gameplay is a must for a title like this and you never feel like you’re n control. I wasn’t able to even take a single game out of all the sets I played against the CPU. That was definitely not my best moment. There is one more Super sport coming up in this collection so I’ll definitely be trying that one soon. I assume it’ll beat this one but I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.

Overall 4/10

War of the Gargantuas Review

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It’s time to look at a classic creature feature film. This one is about monsters that I’m not all that familiar with. They look a bit like King Kong but even more humanoid. The movie has a bit of a pacing issue near the end as it feels like they could have shaved some time off, but overall it’s a solid film. You’ve got some good action and the government is surprisingly able to defend themselves pretty well against the monsters. These guys definitely couldn’t go toe to toe with Godzilla, but you can definitely respect their power.

The movie starts off with a sailor getting attacked by a Giant Octopus. He is saved when a monster shows up and begins to do battle with it, but this becomes an “Out of the frying pan and into the fire” scenario as the monster begins attacking the ship. Somehow the sailor survives all of this and heads home to warn everyone else. The cops don’t buy this story for a second, but they become true believers once the monster shows up and starts terrorizing towns. Some believe that Frankenstein has returned, but his creators aren’t so sure. One thing that they do know is this monster must be stopped and stopped pretty soon or everyone will be in trouble. It is weak against sunlight so they will have to weaponize that.

Paul and Akemi are the main characters here. They raised the original Frankenstein who ultimately ended up becoming Sanda. It’s rather interesting that they call him Frankenstein because to me at least the monsters look nothing like that icon. I’m glad the Kaiju ultimately got different names later on. The problem here is that another monster known as Gaira has shown up and he is against the humans. He wants to destroy everyone and is definitely a rather vengeful creature. Akemi wants to protect Sanda but it’s a tough challenge right from the start since he is protecting Gaira. Sanda later realizes that Gaira isn’t on the right side, but it takes a while for that to become apparent.

Akemi is a solid heroine and means well. I’m glad that she sticks by Sanda throughout. She has a more active role than you would suspect. Paul is also pretty solid and does his best to help out, but he isn’t quite as personally invested in the situation. He seems to think of everything as a game with how laid back he is. That could just be his way of dealing with the situation though so that’s not to say that he was completely uncaring about how things were going. He was a good character.

As for the monsters, they weren’t my favorite ones. As I mentioned they look a bit like King Kong, but you could cross that with the Yeti. Together that really makes up the Kaiju pair. There aren’t any real differences between them except that Gaira is evil while Sanda is the heroic one. They are pretty evenly matched and get into a lot of battles. They aren’t extremely durable as the government is able to combat them, but this government was surprisingly high tech. They have a bunch of energy lasers at their disposal and endless rockets. If this was the government going up against Godzilla and the other popular Kaiju maybe they would have had a real shot. Electrifying the water was also a solid plan and they really had Gaira pinned down at that point. It is always a little sad to see the Kaiju on the losing end, but it’s handled well. If anything you’ll just feel especially bad for Sanda at the end.

The writing here is pretty fun and the Dub always makes these Kaiju films even more enjoyable than they would be otherwise. The voice acting is just great. There’s a good blend of humor here while still staying serious when the situation calls for it. The police chief breaking into the room and forcing the guy in a coma to talk was just brilliant. Characters just push themselves through situations and that’s the kind of persistence you need in order to stay alive in these films.

The main cast is really small here, but that’s fine. You’re mainly here for the monsters after all and they appear within the opening 5 minutes. They showed up so fast that I was pretty impressed. Naturally there are still a lot of moments without them, but the humans can hold their own scenes pretty well I must say. There’s also one long song that comes out of nowhere. I can’t say that it was my kind of tune, but I’m still glad she managed to get out of there in one piece. For a second I thought she wasn’t going to make it out in time.

Overall, War of the Gargantuas is a solid film. I admit that it will have less replay value than some of the other Kaiju movies due to its sheer length but it is a good film. I think the best special effect in the film was the Octopus’ glowing eyes. It really made him look fierce and that’s why these Kaiju suits have all aged well. You just can’t beat that level of detail. If you haven’t seen this movie yet then I would recommend changing that as soon as possible. It’s really got everything you could ask for and while it may not ascend to the same heights as Godzilla or Gamera, it’s a great example of what a Kaiju film is. Show this to someone who is getting ready to jump into the genre and needs reassurance that the whole genre isn’t just Godzilla movies.

Overall 7/10

Village of the Damned (1995) Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to look at the gritty remake of the original film. This one decides to switch out the tense atmosphere for just murdering everybody and misses the entire point of the concept. It’s not as if it’s a great concept from the start, but the original movie had 1000x the quality of this remake. The 1995 film just isn’t very good and I had to give it a full thumbs down in this go-around. Better luck next time I suppose…also I would switch the title as well.

The movie starts off by introducing us to a nice little town. Unfortunately one day everyone abruptly falls asleep and it’s like the whole town was shut down. The government is called in and agent Verner shows up. It turns out that everyone in the village is now about to have a baby so she offers them all a ton of money to keep the babies. These babies have super powers which mainly involve telepathy but also a shared memory so they learn at the same time. They quickly begin bumping everyone off in the village so the government is forced to consider drastic options. Is there any good in these monster children or are they all corrupt from the start?

The main guy here is Alan and his kid is really the leader of the pack. He wants to see the good in the kids, but after they murder his wife he finds himself having a hard time coping. Verner wants him in the thick of things though because he is the only one who can really handle the truth about these babies. It puts him in a pretty tricky spot. He seems to have the most optimism that there could be some good in them despite what happened early on in the movie. He’s a reasonable character and at least he put up some mental defenses. I would have liked him to be more pro-active rather than giving up after his wife was bumped off though. It’s hard to take revenge against kids, but maybe moving out of town or trying to arrest them. Almost anything’s better than just giving up.

Meanwhile the other parents all have their little plots as well. Some go drunk and crazy because they aren’t used to kids being so powerful. Others try to still be normal parents, but this becomes impossible. Ultimately the kids are all evil and want to end humankind anyway so it’s not like it really matters what the people do. They all have to be extra careful though because if they make any kind of mistake or look at the kids in a mean way it’s curtains. The penalty for any kind of action against them is automatically death which is pretty intense. They also make sure to destroy the humans as painfully as possible and punish them multiple times.

This version of the movie is just very dark in this respect. The kids take over the village rather quickly. They’re impossible to defeat at least with how long the people take to act. One such scene is when the government is called in and they all stop to tell the kids to put their hands in the air. What’s the point of doing this when they can just break your mind and make you shoot everyone else? If you’re coming in to eliminate the kids then you shoot right away. If that wasn’t the game plan then you shouldn’t have shown up at all. Coming in half ready just means there will be more victims. It is an excuse to have a long fight between the cops and the army which ultimately doesn’t accomplish much of anything.

The saddest death is probably for Verner. You had a feeling that the kids would get to her eventually but there was a point where you thought she had a chance. After she warned Alan to get out she should have made a beeline for anywhere outside the town. Not leaving immediately is ultimately what cost her. The luckiest characters would definitely be the ones who get hit by the bomb since it’s at least an instant death instead of it being drawn out.

Only one of the kids does not appear to be totally evil and even he waits until the very end of the movie to do anything. I would have liked to have seen him stand up to the other kids a little sooner. Alan does buy him enough time to make a stand so it’s better than nothing. At least Jill and David get a happy ending which is one more happy ending than anyone got in the Omen. This is still a terrible film though. I think part of the issue here is that a lot of violence is committed towards non-combatants.

Over the top violence is bad in any context. I would argue though that there is still a world of difference between someone like the Terminator and a bunch of army fighters getting destroyed than a local school teacher who has nothing to do with anything. A lot of the people who end up dying in this film really had no malicious intentions and just made a mistake along the way. For them to meet such a gruesome end really doesn’t do anything to service the plot and just feels gratuitous. It’s really poor writing that is just an excuse to feature more deaths. This film really relies on shock value at the expense of every other part of the movie.

Overall, I’d recommend staying away from this movie. We’ve got another big 0 here and you can probably see the trend. Films about evil kids are usually just pretty terrible and especially when you make them as gruesome as this film. The murders are really bad here and some of them are even worse than what you’d expect to see in something like Scream. I highly recommend watching the original instead if you want to see this plot, but honestly you could also just skip it entirely. There’s really nothing here that you absolutely need to see and I wouldn’t exactly call it an enjoyable experience either way. What you want is a real film with action scenes like Man of Steel or something.

Overall 0/10

The Omen Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative.

It’s time to take a look at the Omen. It’s a fairly well known film but definitely one that falls through the bucket list and ends in the can. It’s one of those movies that’s terrible from start to finish to the point where I subconsciously started 3 sentences in a row with “It’s” and that’s not the way you want to start any review. From the premise you already get a general sense of where this is going and whenever your baby is the Anti-Christ or the Devil you’re in for a tough time.

The film starts off with Robert and Katherine having a baby but supposedly it didn’t make it through the operation. A religious guy shows up and tells Robert he should hide this from his wife and adopt a different baby that they will pretend is his son. There’s so many red flags here I don’t even know where to start. Introducing a kid into your life on the foundation of lies is a terrible way to start. Katherine may never find out but that isn’t even the point. You’ll be lying to her every single day that you withhold this knowledge. Lies of omission are sometimes debated on whether they are lies or not but even getting around that I’m sure he’l be referring to Damien as “their son” many times as the years go by which will be direct lies. It’s also something that Katherine deserves to know and to have made a choice on. The other red flag here is that this supposedly religious guy is telling him to lie. That’s why you always want to take a double look. Just because someone claims to be a person of the faith doesn’t automatically mean that you should trust him/her.

So they take the kid in, but strange things begin to happen. No animal wants to be anywhere near Damien. His nanny also takes her own life which leads to a Ms. Baylock showing up as their new caretaker. Neither Robert or Katherine actually requested her, but somehow they are fine with this and allow her to stay. She defies them at every turn and constantly breaks the rules, but none of them have the courage to stop her. Before long Baylock turns Damien against the parents and by the time they are ready to do anything about it they are too late. So ends this film.

Omen is just a very mean spirited film from start to finish. The evil kid routine is definitely one of the weaker horror plots and I really don’t think you’ll ever be able to turn this into a quality movie. Damien is unlikable from the start and he just gets away with so much. You just want Robert or Katherine to do something about it, but they never do. One such scene is when Katherine tells Robert not to let them destroy her, but he promptly travels to a different country and while he is gone they finish her off. How could he leave her alone when he knows that she is in such danger?

Lets also back up to when Baylock brings a dog to the house when Robert forbade it. That should have been game over. He should have fired her on the spot, but didn’t. She also wanted to be alone with Damien and did not allow the parents to see him. What kind of parents would allow this? She even got a room inside Damien’s room while the parents are down the hall. Nothing about any of this makes any sense and of course she would end up brainwashing him. Robert and Katherine were downright negligent here. I’d also argue that Katherine should have kept her guard up more with Damien running around the house. She also should have flat out told Robert that he threw her off the roof with the hit, but at best she implies this. The characters make terrible decisions throughout the movie which ultimately leads to their reckoning.

Keith is really the only character here who was at least trying to do something. He figured out the supernatural element early on thanks to his photos, but had a hard time convincing anyone of it. By the time he got some actionable intel his fate was sealed. Omen has a lot of destiny themes so ultimately you knew he wasn’t going to get out of this one alive. Robert didn’t really help matters though. Then Baylock makes for a tough villain, but the film gives her way too much influence by having everyone else avoid dealing with her.

The writing here is as terrible as it gets. Nobody makes any logical decisions at any point in the movie. Robert is also super slow on the uptake when the one guy is trying to warn him about the Anti-Christ. It makes sense that he wouldn’t buy into it at first but as things begin to happen you’d want him to piece two and two together. Of course the guy did end up getting blasted by lightning and then impaled so everything was against him. Damien sure has a ton of power considering that he’s just a kid and the same for his followers. The humans don’t really have a chance so what’s the point of this movie?

Overall, Omen has very slow pacing and a terrible plot. This is one of those films with no redeemable qualities. It can get pretty violent, but more importantly it’s just very mean spirited. Nobody gets a happy ending and evil wins in the end. I don’t think even the best of movies can pull this off. You can have a movie where the villain wins in the end like Homura or one where there isn’t really a happy ending for anyone, but if you mix them both then that’s a recipe for disaster. There has to be something in the ending that you can sink your teeth into and salvage, but like this there really isn’t anything. It’s just an unpleasant experience and there is no replay value here. I’d recommend taking a visit down to Popeyes and trying the chicken sandwich instead of watching this movie. Trust me, you’ll feel more hype waiting in line than any scene in this flick.

Overall 0/10