Scream Blacula Scream Review

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It’s time for the next Blahhhhhhcula film. The name just makes that joke too easy! But yeah this is not a good film and you likely knew that going into it. It’s another really cheap vampire film that’s doing its best to impress and scare you but instead it has the opposite effect. You will be rolling your eyes at this one and wondering when it’s over. There’s nothing to really like about this film as it squanders any decent ideas that might have been thrown into the mix.

The film starts with the queen of voodoo dying so she quickly forgets to name a successor. It has to come down to a vote now and everyone knows it will be Lisa which infuriates Willis. He decides to do something about this and messes with some bones until he resurrects Blacula. Blacula quickly turns Willis into a vampire and then decides to go on another murder spree. Will anyone be safe from all of these murders? Lisa will need to watch out since she is now the one with the strongest Voodoo energy. If she ends up siding with Blacula then all hope may be lost.

So lets get this out of the way, the film has a ton of the usual blood sucking right out of the gate. You’ll be grimacing the whole time because this is not what you signed up for. Not at all! I mean that sounds like I’m in denial but you can do a vampire film without all of that. These also have to be the longest blood drain scenes that I’ve come across. Seriously there’s just no end to them. They keep going on and on and on. If you ask me personally the best thing to do here would have been to do a quick cut. You get the initial bite and then skip.

Although it’s clear that the film was pretty proud of these scenes for how drawn out they were. Even the moments leading up to the bites, you got zoom ins on the teeth early on. At least some of the victims were asking for it like the random guys trying to bully Blacula in the streets. It was nice to bump them off but we can do better than the classic bite every time. So right off the bat the film was already doomed thanks to this.

Then the characters aren’t smart at all. Lisa already knows that Blacula is murdering people and yet by the end she wants to help him and everything? Noooo that’s not cool. She still seems shocked when he continues to hurt people but he’s been doing that since the very beginning so there’s no excuse there. He didn’t change, he was evil right from the jump. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain the whole time. Also considering her psychic voodoo powers, she still looks very weak the whole time.

She is easily suckered by her friend who turned vampire and then tries to drain her. Shouldn’t Lisa have some kind of supernatural defenses? So that’s a big strike against her character right from the jump. Then after that we’ve also got the fact that she doesn’t immediately end Blacula when she has the doll. Just stab it or put it in a choke hold. Instead she takes ages which nearly costs her.

All right, one slight positive for the film. I really liked the confrontation between Justin and Blacula where we have a really tense talk. Both of them are casually murdering the other one and it’s a very boss moment for Justin. Not a smart one mind you, since Blacula could have murdered him at any point. Still, it showed that he was ready to stand his ground. The film is really reusing this from other titles but it still hit right. It’s the best scene in the film by far.

In general I was glad that the cops got involved as well. They actually get to fight it out with the vampires which was pretty cool. We get some actual battle scenes although the cops have a bad habit of hesitating. Look, these are vampires, you have to just take them out. Use the stake or it will be used against you. I did wonder why they wouldn’t re-use a stake though. For example one guy uses his stake and then gets rushed by a second vampire so he cuts it in half to use a new one. Many cops just gave up once they used their 1 stake and got wrecked.

Just pull it out of the dead body and use it again. It’s still made of wood so I’m confident that it will work as many times as needed. These guys really need to learn basic combat skills. The whole film should have been the general confrontation because that would actually be an original take. The full might of the police force against the personal army of vampires that Blacula built up. That had a lot of potential over the usual stuff.

Instead what the film decided to focus on in terms of being unique is the voodoo witchcraft nonsense. Those scenes are some of the worst. They’re super dragged out as well with everyone hopping around and feeling the vibes. They don’t add anything to the film and instead subtract from it. So really you are always looking forward to the few police/Justin scenes but every time Blacula or the Voodoo stuff is on screen the film falls down quickly. We also get a random animal violence when a bird is destroyed. The film needs to do better!

Overall, If you really enjoy seeing the blood sucking scenes from a vampire film then this is your title. I still can’t think of any title that dragged them out nearly this much. However, there is no other reason to watch this film and waste your time. Blacula is not a series that will go down in history as being anything decent. It was really a full on gimmick from start to finish and one that didn’t find its footing. You could have had some interesting social themes here or given Blacula a real personality beyond just draining people. At times it felt like the film was going to perhaps go down that route and then he just starts murdering everyone again. So the film couldn’t resist going back to its roots of shock value. If we ever get a modern reboot, maybe it could change things.

Overall 1/10

Shakma Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time for a pretty spooooky film. I mean it is basically a horror and the enemy is like a creature so I’d say it fits the bill. The movie is definitely an intense one but suffers from all of the usual issues like animal violence and over the top violence in general. This film will have you wincing almost constantly which as you can imagine, can make it hard for the film itself to succeed.

The film starts off with a bunch of doctors/assistants gearing up for their next big game. They run a sort of dungeons and dragons type game in the hospital. After hours they set up all of the rooms and lock down each of the floors. The professor has a virtual system to keep track of everything and coordinates the efforts as the Gamemaster. The first person to get enough clues and free the princess wins. They’ve been doing this for a long time with no problems but one of the girls accidentally mentions the game in front of one of the new hires. Now he wants to play too but the guy’s not very serious and could hold them back. So the characters decide to give him the role of monster to scare people and afterwards he finds out that he’s missing out on a date by being here. So he intends to sabotage the game so that it goes very quickly but what none of them realize is that a dangerous monster is already on the loose, Shakma! Shakma is aiming to destroy all of them as soon as possible so he must not be underestimated.

So Shakma is a baboon and not the most intimidating one on sight. He is fierce and aggressive but you’re jus wondering what would make him scary. Do you really fear such an opponent as this guy? He tends to murder everyone with a quick bite as the first blow and then once the opponent is on the ground it’s over. It’s technically a pretty impressive combo starter because if he bites the right place then it’s all over. There’s really nothing for the opponent to do. So I sort of get that and acknowledge that he fights smart but I still wouldn’t call him very scary. The concept of the Shakma is scarier like when you see him from a distance or on the poster. You absolutely get it but in practice…eh I don’t think he is ready for the big leagues.

Unfortunately most of the characters are super annoying. These are the kinds of people who will just sit back and watch as someone is being torn apart in front of them. I get panicking and everything like when the chips are down but this is just too much. You need to have some characters to root for and this makes them very unlikable. Take the guy who was trying to sabotage the whole game over a date. It’s an awful look because he asked to be a part of the game early on. Yes, he started to have second thoughts about this but he didn’t voice them soooo…I can’t feel all that bad for him. He just needed to do his best and actually participate.

The professor was the most likable character by far. He had a lot of patience and was doing his best to make the game a success. I imagine that it takes a lot of work to set up the whole program each time. So he gets a whole lot of credit there. You were rooting for him to be the one to defeat Shakma. Meanwhile the rest of the students would just keep on splitting up over and over again. Even right up to the end the final 2 survivors decide to split up again. Are you serious?

I dare say that they make the average horror movie characters look smart in comparison. These guys are making so many mistakes that you start to have trouble keeping track of them all. They just keep on coming one after the other. A lot of times the excuse is that they want to look for one of the other teens who got bumped off since they don’t know that he was bumped off yet. The problem with this is after a point you at least need to let the cops know first. The worst part of the film’s logic here is the phones.

Each time they think about calling the cops, they decide to do something first. No, call the cops first and then keep looking around if you want. Every room should have a phone in the hospital or at least most of them. Where were all of the phones when they were needed?? It doesn’t make any sense at all. I felt like I was just watching madness here after a while. The setting of this film taking place in a hospital makes it so that none of this makes sense.

In fact, what about security in general? Sure this is after hours so the staff aren’t around but you mean to tell me that none of the guards were patrolling these floors during the game? Yeah I have more and more doubts as the film goes on. This just doesn’t mesh with logic. The film was doomed already with all the shock value though. I don’t really see the point of the surgery scene from the intro either. We know they work in a hospital so stuff like that happens, why do we gotta see it? Feels like it was just there as a cheap thrill which is no good.

Overall, Shakma is a classic creature feature film to an extent but all the violence is dialed up to 11. It definitely feels like one of the more violent titles that I’ve seen in a minute. In a way it’s probably because of how drawn out each of the murders are. They just keep on going and going. Then of course you have the live surgeries and everything. Nah this film was definitely not for me and loses out to most of the other creature films. This one did surprise me with how the story ends but that’s more of a thumbs up for me and not something I’d raise the score over. It just showed that the film wasn’t afraid to be rather bold and take things in a different direction.

Overall 1/10

Kidnap Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about trying to stop the ultimate evil, a human trafficking ring targeting kids. As you can expect it makes for a pretty intense film since the stakes are super high but unfortunately the film never ends up being really solid. The villains are naturally just here to advance the plot but the main heroine fumbles the bag a few times and the story isn’t even narratively solid. There are massive plot holes here.

So the film starts off by introducing us to Karla who has had a tough time managing things. She split up from her husband who is now with a super successful doctor which is making court proceeding difficult since he wants full custody of their kid. Karla is trying to fight this off but then while at the park, her kid is kidnapped while at a crowded event. She manages to see the one who did this and gives chase but how can she stop him?

The actual kidnapping is the part that you have to handle the most carefully because the timeline has to make sense. Yes, people get kidnapped from public spots so that can work but the film writes itself into a corner early on. Karla picks a spot near the front of the show and only walks a few steps away to make her call. Why turn her back to the kid? We call that plot convenience! However, she was still very close and was in verbal contact with him the whole time with the whole marco polo stuff. So what’s the problem?

Later on we get a flashback of what happened with the villains having an extended talk with the kid as they trick him over to the car. Somehow Karla is no longer within visual view which is how the villains’ scheme works. So it shouldn’t have worked from the jump since she was super close and also the length of their conversation doesn’t match with how short Karla’s call was from the last marco polo test. I thought the film was gonna try and do something clever with the kid’s recorder and have it be the one saying marco polo but that’s not the case as we find it on a nearby bench where it had a different recording.

The film knocking itself out right at the jump is pretty bad. Okay so from there we have a high speed chase with the cars driving everywhere and I’m always skeptical how much you can actually do that with how many cars are on the roads nowadays. Still, Karla keeps up fairly well but eventually the villain tells her to leave or he’ll bump off the kid. So she leaves and hopes she can find him again. She does but that’s pretty lucky. So here’s my thing, you can’t let the villain get away like this. It’s similar to the classic hostage situation. “Get into the car or I’m gonna murder you”.

People forget this but dying is certainly not the worst thing in the world relative to what the villains are planning. In fact if the villain has a gun, it’s better to make a move right away because if you die at least it’ll be relatively quick with the bullet. You might even get the gun and live. Similar case here. If he gets away with the kid, the kid’s going to wish he was dead later on. You are obligated to continue pursuit and yeah there’s a very real chance that the kid will die which is a super hard decision to make. You are sparing him the future suffering though which is what you have to remember.

So yeah you can’t just get off the highway there. Ah well, eventually she finds him and then it’s time for round 2. So he gets out of the car with his knife and makes some more threats. So Karla…tosses him a purse with access to $10,000 in funds? The first problem with this is when you give the money up front like that then there is no incentive for the villain to actually honor his end of the bargain. He’s just gonna keep it. Also, this was her chance to just ram him with the car. With the main villain out of the way there would just be one villain left.

Instead she lets the other girl get in the car and surprise…the villainess tries murdering Karla. Karla gets extremely lucky here and fends her off except…she doesn’t finish the villain off? So the villain heads home for a future showdown. The whole movie I’m just shaking my head at this point. You’ve gotta be ruthless with these villains and show them that they can’t mess with you. They will be on a one way trip to oblivion with you.

Karla’s final big miss for me is when she gets to the villain’s base. The kid is somewhere around here so she just needs to find him. So what Karla does is put her big shotgun on the kitchen table and then starts hiding when the villainess returns. This allows the villain to grab the gun and reload it with ammo…..cmonnnnnnnnn. Also, this lady isn’t exactly in fighting shape. Karla just needs to end her here while extracting some information and then that’s it. Getting the info is probably risky though so just bump her off and find the kid yourself.

Karla takes way too passive of an approach to the entire film and gets super lucky the whole time as a result. You’ll be second guessing all of her decisions here. I’m not gonna put much blame on the kid in this case because that’s sort of missing the point here. The kids are so young that they aren’t able to help out much at all. It’s really Karla’s job to take over and save the day. Of course she ends up doing well but I thought that her plans and tactics needed a whole lot of more work.

Overall, This isn’t really my kind of film. It’s certainly not intense enough to get the blood pumping and there isn’t really much of a character cast. The villains are just two psychos who barely even get names since that part’s not important. They’re just evil and serve as the antagonists. Karla’s a nice person and works well as the lead although I would have liked to have seen her do a bit more in the situations I mentioned above. There was definitely ample opportunity to bump the villains off earlier. Some scenes like the cop being oblivious as he’s taken down or the hellocopters flagging the wrong car also will have you scratching your head but those scenes are so over the top that you barely take them seriously anyway. You’re not going to have a lot of fun with this film which definitely hurts in the end, there’s not much reason to ever rewatch it for example.

Overall 3/10

Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 Review

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It’s time for Xenoverse 2, one of the most well known games in all of Dragon Ball. That alone is a very impressive feat because there have been so many huge games over the years. Basically what happened is that the game has a ton of DLC updates and they have been going on and on for years with no end in sight. So at this point some people have basically grown up alongside the game which is super impressive. With the game being ported over to the PS5, I knew it was time to dive right in!

The basic plot here is that villains have returned to cause a bunch of trouble with the timestream. I’m not talking basic troubles either but end of the world type stuff. Mira and Towa are going to make it so that evil wins the day. Trunks and Terry from the first game are possibly in over their heads so that’s where Terry Jr comes in. He is ready to help save the day and show off the true powers of a Saiyan elite! You have the option to pick from a bunch of different races but of course I was going to go with the Saiyans. They’re always the best after all! There’s a lot of special dialogue you get from the characters too for being a Saiyan although I imagine that’s probably true for the rest of the types as well.

My only issue with the story is that it goes a bit too linearly. This was my slight problem with the first game too. Naturally the villains decide to mess with the Saiyan Saga first, then Namek, then Androids, then Buu, etc. We follow DBZ through the 2 DBZ-Super movies in a row without going out of order once. Considering that the game is about messing with the timeline and everything, it feels like the game jus plays it way too safe. I’m always glad to see Mira show up with the other villains to break things up but it’s really like reliving DBZ with some new elements as opposed to it being a completely new story.

I love all the classic DBZ content as much as the next guy so I still have a blast the whole time but it just feels like a wasted opportunity considering how many expanded villains and scenarios you could pull off with the timeline going crazy. Without a doubt this could have been as crazy as Dragon Ball Heroes. Ah well, I did really appreciate that you get to see the avatar from the first game return. That was a cool attention to detail and a reminder on the strong continuity between the two games.

Naturally the gameplay is a real blast here. It’s a full 3D fighter with a ton of characters and you get to really test out all of their moves. For your avatar you can naturally change the moveset up a ton. So feel free to try out all of the special abilities until you find one that you like. It takes a while to unlock the transformation into a Super Saiyan but in the meantime you still have plenty to work with. There is also a level system so make sure you get those level ups promptly.

The hub world is so huge that you might even find it to be rather intimidating the whole time. There are so many side missions and bonus content to tackle there that you barely know where to start. There’s over 100 Parallel Quests, different instructors, etc. They just keep on coming over and over and over. The trickiest part is when the game randomly makes this part of the story like getting 15 badges. That took a while because I never bothered with that at all. So I would recommend doing some side content early on to start building up your stash and getting that ready. Likewise with the instructor trainings to get Super Saiyan 2 or you will have to do a whole lot at once.

You can tell that the devs really wanted you to go ahead and play through a bunch of the content that they set up. I definitely get it, they worked hard on that. At the same time, it does feel rather forced which I do have to admit here. Just let me continue the battles! The gameplay has dramatically improved from the first title though. The hits link up way better and now there’s an actual reason to use special techniques as opposed to just punching everyone into oblivion. I really appreciated that since in the first game I did find it weird how weak the energy blasts were.

A sequel should always improve upon the original and that’s exactly what Xenoverse 2 did. Naturally the same is true for the graphics which are a bit sharper and look great as you would expect. Then you have the soundtrack which was a big jump up. The ost is incredible with a whole lot of big rock themes around every corner. A good soundtrack can also help to make the story events themselves more impressive as well so that’s a nice ripple effect. I had to Youtube a bunch of the themes right away after hearing them. They were too good to pass up.

Overall, Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 is really the complete package. There’s just so much content to play around with here. It’s extremely impressive and the gameplay is top tier. While the story could have been bolder, I definitely still enjoyed it a lot. Whenever the game would switch from a cutscene to a fully hand drawn scene I also felt the extra hype there. You can bet that I would be lining up to buy Xenoverse 3 immediately on day 1 as soon as it comes out. You just can’t miss out on content like this.

Overall 9/10

Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins Review

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It’s time for the next big Mario adventure! I got to play this one pretty much right after the first Mario Land so this way I could compare them directly. The colors take some getting used to though. It’s not black and white anymore but now it’s like a steady green which can be a bit weird. I just want my normal colors back but hey I can deal with this as needed. In the end it doesn’t take away from the game itself which is solid.

Land 2 learned from the first game and made things longer this time around. You actually have a whole hub world too which is pretty advanced for such an old game. Basically you have to walk to where each world is and each world is 4 levels this time. Completing each world gives you a gold coin and once you have all 6, you can go infiltrate Wario’s castle and take him down. Wario actually has a lot of presence to him in this game. It’s hard to see him in this way now but back then he was a serious enemy. When he showed up, you automatically had to fear the guy. He has a lot of resources and enemies backing him up as well.

The boss fights are all pretty fun here. The Wario one in particular is really good but they all test your platforming abilities. No gimmicks or anything, just fast reaction times and seeing if you have what it takes as the bosses rush towards you all the time. The levels are also a lot of fun as you’d expect. They’re fairly short but always have a good amount of enemies running at you. There was only one cheesy level that had an invisible block so when you jump you automatically lose. That was a bit much not gonna lie. Without the rewind it would be such an annoying way to die.

The graphics aren’t bad but the colors do kind of mess it up. The green will have you shaking your head before long. Trust me on that! The soundtrack works out well. I wouldn’t quite say that it’s an all star or anything like that though. I don’t remember too many of the tunes afterwards but there was one or two that I remember hearing in the newer games so that was definitely nostalgic.

In this game you get to have fun with some underwater levels as well and there is even a bubble power up that lets you fly to the top. That was definitely cool even if it only shows up for one level. I don’t totally understand the point of the auto scrolling levels though. There are like 2-3 in the hub world that don’t count towards any of the coins and seem to just move you around the hub world. The thing is, it’s quicker to just walk around manually than to complete a whole level and get the slight movement. So maybe I’m overthinking things here but it just seemed like a weird choice.

Perhaps this is for some kind of secret collectible and the game has more replay value than I would have guessed though. If that is the case then I definitely have to give the game some bonus credit because I underestimated it. Regardless, while there isn’t a ton of content here, it’s a serviceable amount. The gameplay is rock solid and that’s what counts. It’s easy to see how Mario became a global hit when all of his games were so consistent. You always knew that you would have a good time with his titles.

Overall, Super Mario Land 2 is a pretty good game. It’s a lot of fun and the experience lasts longer than in the first title. There’s nothing to really dislike here and Wario makes for a pretty intense villain. I would still like to see more Mario games like this that totally flip the setting and villains around. I do love Bowser of course but a quick change is never a bad thing. Just keep switching things up and you’ll have some new settings to play around with. Of course I would like a modern game to have more of a story since this one is basically nonexistent.

Overall 7/10

Super Mario Land Review

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It’s time for one of those really retro Mario games. In fact it’s so retro on the classic Game Boy that it’s even in black and white! But that’s crazy right? Well it’s definitely odd to be playing it without all the colors but it’s still a fun game. All of the classic Mario staples are there from great level designs to interesting and innovative enemies around every corner. Yeah this is some good stuff, it’s just a shame that it’s so short.

The game barely has a plot in terms of what you see in the game but officially there is a story thanks to the booklet. All you need to know is that Princess Daisy needs your help so it’s up to you to vanquish all of the enemies in your way. Can you pull it off? Well you better be able to or everything’s going to be falling sideways before long. Right off the bat it is fun to be fighting whole new opponents here compared to Bowser and friends. It was a good opportunity for Nintendo to flex their creative chops and have to come up with a whole new cast of fighters. So that was really cool.

The bosses were fun and the whole game really flies by. In part because the game is extremely short, you can complete it in around an hour, possibly less than that. It’s a mix of the stages being short, each world only having 3 stages, and the levels not being super difficult. Of course with the rewind feature you can feel free to rush in every time and if you make a mistake just rewind. If you have to play strategically then it might slow you down just a tad but even then I doubt it would be a big delay.

So you’re not here for a long time but for a good time. The game delivers there like I’ve been saying. The levels are all very diverse and you have to keep your wits about you with the various enemies running around. The graphics are decent, perhaps not as good as the other Mario games because they aren’t in color but they still look good. The soundtrack is also fun as always. Perhaps not on the level of Mario World but few things are.

There isn’t a ton of replay value which is the only thing you would want to consider if you were buying the game for a price. After beating the game there really isn’t anything to do except beating it again and all. Not a bad idea of course but yeah there’s not a lot of bonus content here. So if the game was 50 dollars or something like that then I’d say to skip it but as long as you have the Nintendo Switch Online and it’s free then you should definitely check it out. In a way you are finally getting to experience the lost entry in the Mario series. It certainly took me long enough to try it at any rate.

In a way because the game is so direct and straightforward there isn’t much to talk about though. So this will be a fairly small review. After all you can only explain how Nintendo did a great job with the gameplay, level design, and everything so many times. It’s a very complete title and it would be fun to see some of these enemies and levels come back someday. Some kind of big Mario remake project taking elements from all of the old titles. There’s really a ton Nintendo could do with that kind of premise someday. Hopefully we get something like that as a celebration.

Overall, Super Mario Land is a pretty fun game. It is extremely short which I assume was more of a console limitation however it still gives you a good time all the way through. I didn’t really have any problems with the game. The gravity and platforming gameplay themselves take a little getting used to compared to some of the newer games but you’re still ready to roll right from the jump. Just trust in your own gameplay abilities and you will really be dominating. Definitely check this out if you have the Nintendo Switch Online. You can’t beat free right?

Overall 7/10

FIA European Truck Racing Championship Review

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There comes a time when a game’s enthusiasm for being super detailed and like a simulator starts to work against it. This is definitely one of those times. No matter how many points I may give the title for being realistic, I am taking far more of them away for taking away the game’s ability to be fun. At the end of the day for a video game being entertaining is absolutely king. Without that, there is just nothing left.

The game starts you off with an incredibly detailed tutorial mode. You have to clear this in order to even start racing and unfortunately the tutorial is over 12 levels long and each one is rather difficult. I was not able to complete all of the tutorials in the end so I didn’t even get to the main part of the game. That’s crazyyyy! You could say it’s a skill issue but I’d call it a gaming issue instead tbh. The game should allow you to start rolling right away and if the controls are so detailed that you need over 10 tutorial levels then that is absolutely another issue right there. You just can’t come back from that, it’s not a smart way to set up your game.

The actual gameplay starts off like your classic driving title where you have to drive, brake, and zoom around but here’s where things change. Because you’re playing as a giant truck, when you break, the back half doesn’t slow down at the same speed. So in an ordinary game you would break and then seamlessly turn right. If you try that here then you’re going to go way too far right and the whole thing goes out of balance. Instead you have to go about this very slowly and methodically.

Additionally your brakes can overheat. You have to remember to cool them as you are braking. If you don’t then that’s another problem to deal with. Specifically this was the level that stumped me when I was playing the game. You had to keep your truck’s temperature at just the right amount or you would automatically lose. Doing this while navigating the whole course with a lot of turns ended up being too much. You can’t go off road either or you lose instantly.

There are too many restrictions here. You never get to just race and that’s a shame. The soundtrack is mainly forgettable but the graphics are actually rather good. I do think that the game put some real heart into that part. And of course, while I don’t like the overly advanced realism, fans of the genre will probably love it. So I definitely get that, it’s just that it doesn’t feel right for a game. So if you super love trucks and want to be able to master the craft then this is a good title to check out. For just about any other gamer though, there isn’t any real reason to play this one.

I suppose in a way there is a ton of replay value here since the levels are so hard. After that you can also enter tournaments and rank up and everything. I imagine that getting the Platinum trophy in this game would be incredibly difficult. Definitely not something for the faint of heart that’s for sure. Even if I spent 50+ hours on this game I’m not sure I could pull it off but hey it does give you a tangible objective/prize to shoot for. You just gotta give it your all.

Man, if this game had an arcade style controls option that could have saved the whole thing. At least make it an alternate mode or something where you are just driving. That would have done a world of good and then you still have the advanced controls for everyone else. Perhaps this is just me being a little salted though. So hey I respect what the game was trying to do, it just didn’t end up working out.

Overall, FIA, is definitely not one of the top games. If anything it’s not even one of the mediocre games. This is one of the lowest ranking titles that I’ve played and it’s because the game isn’t fun. When you restrict the gameplay to this extent then you defeat the whole purpose of playing the game. I want to be able to just cut loose and feel the wind passing me by as I style on everyone. That’s the whole point of all this ya know? Instead what happens here is you are stuck behind a bunch of red tape which has no place being in a video game. Definitely give this one a skip as fast as you can.

Overall 3/10

Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Review

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The Lost Planet is a game I wasn’t super familiar with for a while there but I own the sequel so now was a good time to try this one out. It’s a 3D sci-fi shooter which is always a recipe for success. The story is good and the game has a decent length so in the end I would say that this is a good title. Definitely not one that you should miss out on.

The game starts with Wayne getting buried under some ice and many years later he now has amnesia. Everyone has to wear suits in order to move through this endless ice age while Wayne has some kind of energy device on his arm. As long as he has energy then he can move but if it ever runs out then it is game over for him. Fortunately Wayne is one of those guys who is very stoic and always ready for a challenge. No matter how close he may be to death at any point, he doesn’t let it get to him. In the meantime he’ll help the people who found him as they try to stop the aliens and bring the green back to the world.

The fact that the planet is covered in ice makes for a pretty unique level design. Every level is absolutely covered in snow and ice which is pretty cool. The way the levels play out, you often have to just keep moving forward until you’ve gotten past all of the enemies and obstacles. So that means scaling the icy mountains and such. You have a grappling hook that helps with this. So there is some platforming but for the most part this is really all about the shooting gameplay. So get your guns ready because you’ll be doing a lot of blasting.

You can only hold 2 guns at once which often means that you will need to make a lot of difficult calls. The stronger weapons tend to be very low on ammo so you probably want to go with one weak weapon and one strong one. Typically I would go for the machine gun and the missile. Those two were a really good combo pack that would have you set up well against any enemy. You also have robot suits that you could climb into which had even stronger weapons. Definitely handy in a lot of different areas. Basically if you see a robot suit, make sure you get into it. It’s extremely handy and basically necessary for most of the stronger threats.

Most ordinary enemies can be defeated in 2 hits. The enemy robots will pretty much take up all of your ammo if you’re on foot or several hits if you’re in the robot suit. These things scale pretty high but it makes sense. I approve of this because there’s no way a human should be able to do much against a mech suit. I should also explain that the health system is a bit different here. Your health goes down as you get hit of course but it will quickly regenerate as long as you have energy.

You obtain energy from defeating enemies or pulling up towers. Once you run out of energy, you can no longer regenerate and even worse, you start to actively lose health. The conditions on this planet are such that you are actively dying without the energy protecting you. So at that point it becomes like a time trial because your health goes down very quickly. Fortunately it is rare that you run out of energy. Just make sure you attack enemies strategically and that you don’t skip the energy that they drop. Now that would get you into a bit of a pickle.

The graphics are pretty good as you’d expect. The alien designs are all pretty good and I could usually understand the terrain pretty well even with all of it being under snow. So the devs did a good job of keeping the balance there since that could have gone sideways. The soundtrack was okay. A good theme here and there although for the most part it’s not one that I would end up remembering after a while. You’re mainly here for the solid story and gameplay though so that’s fine.

The gameplay is just a lot of fun and really hits the right balance of arcade style where you just pick up weapons and blast away with enough detail so you always aim your weapons carefully. It reminds me of Star Fox Assault and that’s always a good complement. Yeah definitely keep on sending me third person shooters like this and we’re really going to be in a good spot!

Overall, Lost Planet is a pretty good game. It has strong fundamentals and was a lot of fun all the way through. It’s definitely what I would consider to be a hidden gem on the PS3. I’m looking forward to seeing how the sequel plays out in comparison to this one. If you like shooters or enjoy a good sci-fi plot then you should have a good time here. 3D, third person shooters are always the way to go. I’ve yet to meet any game that can mess up this genre. It’s just way too good and will always be fun.

Overall 7/10

Mobile Suit Gundam Extreme Vs. Maxiboost On Review

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Gundam is one of those series that has so many games and shows and movies that it’s hard to know where to start. I’ve played a few of the games back in my day though and they were always fun. So I figured I could expect a similar level of entertainment from this game. I do wish it had a real story mode but the gameplay is fun and overall it’s extremely impressive how many characters are present here. It’s truly an ultimate collection for Gundam fans.

The main gameplay style here is that of a 2 vs 2 brawler. It’s in 3D and you use your blasters and occasional energy sword to take your opponents down. The first team to lose all of their lives will suffer defeat in the match. You have around 6 lives split between you and your teammate and depending on how strong your machine is will determine how many lives you lose when your robot is destroyed. At the end of the day though your strategy will remain the same. Just don’t get hit and you will be fine. Of course when the levels are this chaotic that can be a little difficult.

So there are well over 100 robot suits to choose from here. The game breaks up the roster based on series which is pretty cool. It does mean you have a lot of scrolling to do but it’s a clear way to identify each Gundam. Then when you choose the Gundam you can choose out of 3 different modes you want to fight as. By the end I usually went for balanced since it seems like the best bet but long range and short range can be fun too. You just need to master the gameplay a lot more before you can pull that off. Otherwise you’re just going to get absolutely obliterated the instant you head into the fray.

This game doesn’t have a tutorial or training mode at the ready though which is too bad. This is one of the few games where I would have appreciated that. There’s just a whole lot that you have to sift through here from various weapons and special abilities. So if you’re not constantly on your A game then you’re gonna be in some real trouble here. I was mostly just button mashing and I can tell you that this doesn’t fly in the Gundam games. Unless you know what you are doing you will ultimately be crushed. That’s just the way that it is. So I couldn’t really get to enjoy the gameplay mechanics to their fullest extent but I still had fun.

The graphics are naturally very solid here. The robots all look on point and the level designs have a lot of detail to them Everything is very vibrant at all times and each level stands out. The soundtrack is a bit more forgettable but there were a lot of tracks in the music menu so I’m guessing there are some really solid ones in there that I just didn’t come across yet. Once you factor those in then I’m sure the soundtrack is probably good overall.

In the end this game is definitely going to have the most value for true Gundam fans. The online scene already seems dead from when I was trying to find a match so you better have someone that you can play it offline with. Technically you have unlimited replay value with the vs mode but that is all assuming that you really love the gameplay. It needs to be a top tier fighting game for you or the whole thing will just not be worth your while. For me, it’s a fun game but not one I’d be clamoring to pick up again in the future.

Overall, Gundam makes for a good robot combat title. It’s always been solid in the past and I don’t see that changing in the future either. It’s really quite impressive. That being said, not having a story mode will always be a blow against it. Some fighting game titles like Super Smash Bros can get away with this but most cannot. Even if it’s a really basic arcade mode type setup, I want a character ending and some interactions. It helps to make the whole thing more real. This one is satisfied to be a super basic fighting game. Albeit, one with an absolutely huge roster which I give them full credit for. It’s extremely impressive and I’ll probably look at the game more fondly once I know more of the Gundam fighters.

Overall 7/10

Hot Shots Tennis Review

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Hot Shots Tennis is one of those games where I would always see the cover at the game shop but I never really got to try it out. Well, now was my chance to finally play through it and it’s a fun game. It takes a little getting used to because they put a whole lot of effort into where you tilt your controller. So if you hold up for example then the ball is absolutely going to go past the end of the field. I don’t think this was a good idea to be honest but the game still succeeds.

Right away when starting the game you are impressed by how clear the menus are. They spared no expense here, each mode is clearly labeled and I like the way the progression system is set up. For example in the first round if you win then you unlock a new character. After that you unlock stages, new ranks, etc. The game always tells you what the reward will be ahead of time and what you have to do in order to earn it. I really appreciated the way the system was set up.

You always want to know what is coming next. This is something you would see more with some of the older games and it’s something I would like to see continue on with the newer ones. It just gives you extra energy to know that you’re about to reach the next stage. The graphics are also charming and capture the PS2 level of tech really well. The artstyle was absolutely a perfect match right here. It reminds me a lot of the Mario golf graphics when Plum was introduced. It’s not quite chibi either, just compact. It’s a very colorful game.

The soundtrack is more on the forgettable side unfortunately. I suppose not every game can be Xenoverse 2 though. As for the gameplay, like I mentioned it’s a bit different. So the idea is that you don’t want to make your move until the ball is close to your racket. For example if you get to the right spot early enough and prepare your shot, you will hit it too hard in the direction you are pointing. You will end up losing the point.
So in a way you are penalized for reading the ball too well.

You have to really just trust in your reaction times and land the devastating blows at the last moment. This is easier said than done though, it’s a whole other set of skills to pull something like that off. So you definitely need to practice. I was getting rolled for a bit during my matches as well before I got the hang of it. Once you do get the hang of it then you should be playing rather smoothly but the only tricky thing is that it does make the gameplay a bit slower. I’m not really sure how you would combat that. In a way it seems like the gameplay style actually makes that rather inevitable which is a shame.

It’s possible that there are alternate gameplay styles that would really let you show off the speed more though. So I don’t want to put any of this in as being definitive or anything like that. I’m also sure that the more I get the hang of the controls, the more I will have pinpoint timing that will even subtly speed up the gameplay somewhat. It’s really a game that rewards continued effort and dedication.

I dare say they should make a new one for modern consoles. You’d probably need a bit of a hook to make it stand out with how many tennis games there are nowadays though. Some kind of a real cinematic story would go a long way though. That would absolutely do the trick and then you have something that’s really around for all ages with no drawbacks. If I’m being honest there are so many games around that I wouldn’t get it day 1 or anything but I would definitely still pick it up at some point.

Overall, Hot Shots Tennis is a lot of fun. It took me some getting used to with the way the gameplay works but I got it down by the end. It could still benefit from a faster style but it is what it is. This is the kind of game you can pick up with no context and jut have fun with. It’s clear that the developers had a lot of passion with this one and it wasn’t just slapped together. I would definitely recommend it if you like tennis games.

Overall 7/10