Temtem Review

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It’s time for another super long Switch game in Temtem. This one’s basically a Pokemon homage for the modern audience. In some ways it definitely surpasses Pokemon like the fact that the story can get a lot more out there but on the other hand it does have some extra issues like endless battles that do bog it down somewhat. So it’s a good game but not nearly as good as it could have been.

The game starts off simply enough with your character getting his first Temtem. He can finally travel the world and fight all of the Dojo Masters. Unfortunately his journey is interrupted by the fact that a big terrorist organization is making a move on the planet. They are building some kind of super Temtem to take over the world. The lead will have to stop these guys while also improving his skills, but what can one kid do?

Basically this is like the plot of the original Pokemon game but with a few additions and twists. Additionally the game definitely has fun being really self aware about the whole thing. You are often given 3 dialogue options, usually a nice one, a mean one, and a random one. I certainly had fun playing around with the responses. Note that this doesn’t actually change the story or anything like that but at the same time it does give the lead some personality. Also the characters do actually react to what you’re saying which is nice. In Harvestella this didn’t really happen as the two options were almost always pretty much identical.

I wouldn’t say that most of the characters are all that memorable but I did like the final boss because of how insane he got and I also enjoyed the general. The rival Max started out good but basically fell off a cliff. Where the game gets a bit dicey is it tries to be as edgy and modern as possible which works in some ways like this game having a body count and you getting to fight unwinnable battles. Where it doesn’t work is with the game getting rather PC and shoving a bunch of iffy romances at your face. The game constantly trying to ship me with the rival was pretty awful. At least there’s always an option for you to tell him to back off or just be really mean to keep it from happening but making that a main plot point was definitely not a good idea. A ton of the NPCs you beat up also have romance drama going on, at least two being story plots you can’t skip so the game wanted you to absolutely know where it stood on the gender politics. It’d be nice if all of that could have been sidelined so I can focus on the actual game!

To the rest of the plot, at least the lead actually has real character and can talk. That’s a big departure from the classic Pokemon games where this was absolutely not the case. Even now Pokemon doesn’t really do that and I think it will be years before it’s ready to be more of a full RPG the way this one was. The game doesn’t want to invite too many comparisons to Pokemon beyond all of the inevitable ones so it does go and switch all of the type advantages. Because of this it took me forever to learn them and even by the end I was mostly working off of memory from when I fought the Temtems. I still couldn’t tell you most of the types.

As this is one of those games where you are always online, the game is constantly saving. That’s good because the game crashed several times where I definitely would have lost some data but fortunately in this game when you restart it takes you to the exact point where it crashed. Literally if you’re mid battle you will respawn on the same turn within the same battle. So that was definitely cool. You also have a portable Pokemon center of sorts which you can use to recover all of your health once after every poke center visit. This is huge because otherwise I would have to be going there constantly.

As I mentioned earlier there are tons and tons of fights and they generally keep really close pace with your Temtem. So you can probably beat maybe 2 of them before you have to go and heal. So with this item you can do 4 fights before you have to reset. There is no EXP share or anything like that so most likely by the end of the game you will have 2 super powerful Temtem and the other 4 would be fodders. I basically resorted to just catching my last ones in the wild since they would at least be level 70 that way but my main two were both over level 90. This made the final fight tough since there’s a timer and I had to keep on reviving the main two but it worked out.

You need to watch out for the fact that money is hard to come by from Pokemon encounters though. In fact I think you don’t get any money from those so you need to fight with trainers a lot and that money goes really quickly. It makes losing really high stakes since the game saves so often and then you don’t have enough cash to buy more revives. You can always grind out more levels of course if it gets to be too much though. Fortunately I didn’t have to much after the first chunk of the game, for the most part it stays manageable. Just pick your main two Temtem carefully so that you have a balanced form of attack. I used a thunder type and a bug type which covers most matchups.

The soundtrack is a bit more on the forgettable side so you likely won’t be remembering too many themes. The graphics are also not super impressive, they do the job but ultimately I wouldn’t say that they’re high tier or anything. This could pass for a much older game than on the Switch but it feels like it’s an indie title to an extent so this isn’t exactly coming with a Mario budget or anything like that. It could have probably put some more effort into it, but it’s not bad at least.

One thing this game really lacked was a better fast travel system. There are large parts of the game where you’re running from place to place and it just takes a very long time. Being able to teleport to a town once you have been there would be huge. The main Pokemon games have always done this so Temtem deciding not to bring that feature along was a big mistake. Maybe they thought it would feel too similar but there are tons of ways around that and most RPGs have fast travel so it shouldn’t have been a big deal. In short, this game’s biggest weakness is easily that it is missing a ton of quality of life features. It feels a lot grindier than it needs to be with all of the constant fighting and that means there is less time to just enjoy the story even if the story could have also been better. There are a lot of elements that I liked but also things left on the table. For example the climax is a huge missed opportunity. Lets just say that you’re expecting one more huge battle at the end the whole time and then it just doesn’t happen. I was really surprised about that. It may have also been a budget thing but it was absolutely not a good idea.

Overall, Temtem is a good game. It’s held back a bit by how hard the game is being drawn out towards the end though. There are just so many battles. They may not be super tough but you still have to go back to the healing station each time after fighting them and this gets old quick. Especially because the minion spawn rate is rather high too so you have to be running away a lot. This is a game where you will need to have a book or something with you while you are playing for all of the dead time. It’s a turn based combat game after all so there are a lot of animations and the battles tend to be a little on the long side. It could use some Asdivine Hearts quality of life features to cut out animations and speed things up if you ask me. Still if you want a Pokemon type game with a story that can go a bit harder than the main games then this should be right up your alley. It’s not like there are a ton of Pokemon type games out there either so you need to grab each one that you see.

Overall 6/10

Harvestella Review

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It’s time to look at a farming game and this is the first time that I’ve bought one like this. I was a little hesitant because farming isn’t necessarily my thing but I had heard that this game had a really good story and was still in large part a full RPG with lots of combat. So I decided to take the plunge and it really is a great game. Certainly on the long side as it took me over 50 hours though and nearly ended up catching up to Tears of the Kingdom. The Switch has definitely gotten a whole lot of playtime lately!

The basic plot is that one day you wake up in the middle of nowhere during an event call Quietus. You have complete amnesia but fortunately the local doctor nurses you back to health and even gives you a little farm. You are determined to make this the best farm of all! Eventually an alien ship lands and a girl appears from it. She claims to be from the future and needs a way back to her time. So now you have to help her, tend to your farm, and you also need a way to save the world. See these Quietus events are dangerous since if you stand outside during one you could die and they’re happening very regularly now. Something’s up, but what? As you travel to different towns to buy farming ingredients you meet more people to add to your party and find out more about this time traveler. Ultimately the pieces will fit together but you’ve got time.

There’s a lot to enjoy here but the one thing I will take away from the game is that I would have liked more voice acting. For a modern day Switch title it’s pretty odd to just be reading text the whole time. It’s not like they couldn’t have voice acting either since your fairies call out to you every day when you leave the house and when you return. For two of the final bosses we suddenly get full voice acting as well. So to me it just seems like a budget thing or they were hurrying a lot but it’s unfortunate since voice acting could have helped to elevate this further.

The actual graphics are really good though. I really like the colors and the overall atmosphere of the game. It has a bit of a sci-fi feel to it even when you’re on the farm because of the crystals everywhere. The visuals and the fun soundtrack do a lot to make this game feel grand. It’s an RPG that is taking itself very seriously and I can definitely appreciate that. As a mild negative it would be nice if the fairies didn’t have to greet you home or say goodbye every time. They only have 1-2 sound clips so this gets really old fast. It’s one of those audio things the devs really need to think about since you will be performing those actions well over 100 times.

The RPG combat is really solid, if a bit complicated. Basically you have around 10 different job classes which all change up your attacks and element type. You can use a sword and just slash away at the enemies or you can use futuristic energy blades to fire at opponents from long range. Each job seems to have some advantages to it. I used the Mage class for around 80% of the game and then went to the fighter and holographic classes for the climax. I didn’t experiment too much with the others but they all seemed pretty fun.

There is a stamina system like Breath of the Wild which can get a little annoying. You can’t regenerate it naturally so the only way is to eat some food or go to sleep and start the next day. Not ideal when you’re in the middle of a dungeon though. Additionally you have a hunger meter so after a point you can’t eat anymore. You want to stock up on fruit juices because those you can continue to have even once your character is fully full. This is probably the main point where the game is being just a tad too realistic. I think the game should have dialed that back a bit.

I’m also not typically a fan of the day system and you can bet that this was not an exception. Having to rush home because the day was ending is not really my idea of a good time. I like to just relax and do things as they come so that goes against my gaming style. I’ll make it work of course but yeah these are all mechanics that I could do without. I suppose the most satisfying part of the farming is gathering resources though. It was always nice to finally build something.

By the end of the game I had completed all side quests and managed to build almost all of the items. So I really got a whole lot done and it shows jut how tough the final boss is because I needed all of that in order to win. I would recommend creating a juicer as early as possible because that is really what let me beat the game. I saved up over 40 fruit juices and had to spam almost all of them in order to win.

You could probably do with less of those if you got more level ups I suppose but I capped out in the early 50s so I didn’t have a ton of health. Without all of the health recoveries I would have certainly gone down. You can only get one juice per day too so the earlier you start the better. I ended up beating the game in around 1 year in-game time since I got to experience each of the seasons once so that was pretty cool.

It goes without saying that there is pretty much unlimited replay value here. You can keep on playing for a very long time as you keep upgrading your farm and getting level ups. I imagine it would take an extremely long amount of time for you to 100% this game but at least you do have a final goal of sorts. So the game never feels aimless. I can’t picture myself ever trying for the 100% but at least it is there should you ever be tempted to try and pull that off. Beating the story was satisfying enough for me.

Finally one of the big things about this game is how you can’t do everything you want to do within the day since it goes fast. You always have to decide between resource grinding, progressing the story, doing side quests, or working on equipment. Some of those categories can be broken down even further as well. I would usually focus on resources since there are always enemies to fight along the way but attacking enemies uses stamina which you need to pick up items so it’s still a tough call. Go with your gut on this one and remember there’s no time limit so eventually you will have what you need to get the win.

Overall, Harvestella is a pretty great game. I do think it survives entirely based on the combat gameplay and the great story though. You really get to know all of the characters after being with them for 50 hours so the climax hits really hard. You also had some tough moral decisions to make and ultimately this was just a very complete story. Ultimately this tells me that I still wouldn’t be fully on board with a big farming title. It doesn’t hold the game back enough to hurt it but it would absolutely be really bad news if the whole game had to rely on that. So if you’ve ever been curious about the genre, check this game out. As long as you like RPGs you will still enjoy it and this way you get to have a taste of what the farming is like. It’s really a full win/win for you. There’s also so much depth to the game that it’s hard to mention it all in one shot so trust me you will come across a lot of things that I didn’t even touch on here. The main thing to remember is that this is a game with a serious amount of grinding so pretty much all power ups and equipment really have to be earned. Prepare for a long journey right there!

Overall 8/10

Dragon Shiryu vs Hiei

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Suggested by Mehama Sadafa Hiei and Dragon are both exceptionally strong fighters with top tier equipment. I would say Shiryu’s equipment is a bit better though and his shield should be able to block Hiei’s strikes. Dragon is also fast enough to keep up with Hiei’s speed and then some. Mix in his much mower powerful attacks and Dragon really has the edge here. I’m not going to say this is a blowout or anything like that but the victor should never be in doubt. Dragon Shiryu wins.

Colossal Titan vs Sakura

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Suggested by Killzit The Colossal Titan is a fairly huge opponent but that won’t be enough to stop Sakura. Sakura has slowly developed into one of the more powerful Shonen Jump heroines. Her super strength would be enough to instantly vaporize the Colossal Titan with a single blow. His defenses aren’t ready for a fighter like that and speed was never really hit thing. Trust me when I say that he has no shot here. Sakura wins.

Ichigo Momomiya vs Sailor Moon

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Suggested by Princess Ichigo Bradley Ichigo Momomiya and Sailor Moon are both some of the most iconic magical girls in all of fiction. Sailor Moon’s attack power is far greater than Ichigo’s, but where she loses here is the difference in speed. Ichigo should be able to stay out of Moon’s range with ease. Think of any superhero dodging a villain with a gun. Sailor Moon can amp up her lasers to cover a wider and wider distance but ultimately she does need to point and Ichigo will get behind her. Moon’s travel speed won’t be enough to overcome this fighter and her lack of durability feats will be her undoing. Ichigo Momomiya wins.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein Review

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Wait a minute, shouldn’t the title actually say that they met Frankenstein’s monster? Hmmmmm, well that’s a mystery for another day. Honestly I would have exchanged that for the Werewolf since it makes the most sense personally but I suppose it gets the idea across that the supernatural monsters are here and they are ready for action. It’s a pretty good film and the Abbott and Costello banter works really well. It’s always fun to see them having a hard time communicating with one taking everything super literally and the other one not knowing how to phrase things a bit better. Ultimately the monsters have the edge in firepower but can they overcome this duo’s creativity and unexpectedness?

The movie starts off with Larry Talbot stealing the show as per usual as he calls in to try and stop the world from unleashing the powers of Dracula and Frankenstein on the world. Unfortunately his power is too great and he turns into the legendary Wolfman which ends the call. We then cut to Chick and Wilbur who are messing around and getting into trouble! They got the deliveries of the monsters and end up bringing them to the client’s place but allow the monsters to escape. Now Dracula and Frankenstein are primed to destroy the world and even steal Wilbur’s body if they aren’t stopped. Will Larry arrive in time to stop them? Also can Wilbur stay focused as the villainess Sandra tries to pull the moves on him?

There’s quite a bit to unpack here but first off it’s really nice to see Larry return. He was always the best out of the original Universal monsters and is an even more sympathetic character than Bruce Banner/Hulk and Jekyll/Hyde. You actually feel his distress with how he wants to keep the Wolfman at bay but it’s just so difficult. Ultimately in this movie I would say he has a decent handle on it as he uses his abilities to take on Dracula. His scenes are all played straight as true scenes of terror and he’s consistently great. The film may not be the best way to end his legacy in terms of a happy ending but his role was powerful.

Fans of Dracula should enjoy him here as well because he does get his respect. On the minus side he does get scared of Chick and hides a lot but on the other hand he is treated as the mastermind on the villains’ side. He is the one who powers up Frankenstein and leads all of the attacks which is pretty good. The guy is the most iconic out of all the universal monsters after all so it makes sense he would get the top billing as the leader there. As for Frankenstein, well he’s back to being fully mindless so you can really ignore him. He’s not actually doing much of anything here except stumbling around. I wouldn’t consider him to be nearly as much of a threat if you ask me.

Chick is one of the highlight characters in the film. I like how he always dominates the conversation and keeps Wilbur in line. Of course a lot of the time he does end up being wrong but you can always get why he would make the assumptions that he does because Wilbur is the kind of character who is always exaggerating and making a mess of things. Put it this way, he is always super hyper so aside from this adventure he’s probably panicking like this every day. I’m sure Chick has seen a ton of false positives over the years and in the end Chick helps out when it counts. He even talks tough to Larry. I just like how Chick doesn’t back down.

He is a bit desperate when it comes to girls though so he loses some points there. For example when all of the girls like Wilbur he keeps asking if he can have one for himself to which Wilbur is basically saying “No!” which makes sense. Additionally it’s not like he would have a ton of input in that. Either they like Chick or they don’t and in this case it seems like they don’t. The guy just needs to take his L gracefully and move on. No need to dwell on it, it is what it is after all.

Wilbur looks pretty bad though. He is pretty crucial to the humor of course and gets a lot of funny moments there but as a character he just isn’t very focused and often makes the wrong moves. He panics constantly and also doesn’t have the strength of will to stick to his girl. When the other girls start flirting he immediately folds and it’s a very sad look for the guy. He loses a lot of points in that instance and never really gets them back. The guy never really mans up by the end either. So while he is a net positive to the film because the scenes are funny, I wouldn’t say he ranks as a character.

In general of course the reason why the film is so good is because of the humor. The humor is really handled well with a lot of high quality moments. It’s pretty guaranteed to get some laughs out of you and especially if you like this humor style then you’re in for a treat. The movie never slows down with all of the jokes and gags so they keep on coming rapid fire. We also do get some action in the monster battles which was pretty nice to see. Mix in the solid cast and you have all of the right elements here. I’d also have been game to enjoy this film straight up as a serious adventure with Larry as the main character but we already had a bunch of those so this works as a change of pace. It has definitely withstood the test of time and you don’t really see this kind of humor style anymore. It’s a relic of its time and a pretty solid one at that.

Overall, Abbott and Costello have another solid film here. It’s a pretty good time with a lot of funny jokes and good pacing. I would say the jokes hit the hardest during the first half while Chick doesn’t believe him so you have a solid dynamic there but of course the second half is still good too. The ending really works well with that last scene stinger and I really don’t have very many complaints with the film. It’s an all around solid title with a lot of positives going its way. My favorite film in the series is still the one where they meet Boris but this is another really good entry. I would definitely recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

Son of Lassie Review

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It’s no surprise that I didn’t really like the first Lassie movie. In fact it was pretty awful now that I think about it. It’s just not really my kind of film and the sequel is better but still pretty bad. You have the dog still getting shot and some general animal violence. It isn’t in the same level as the first film of course but why can’t we just have a happy dog film instead? That’s what the people want and most importantly, it’s what I want! Seriously just think about it, this has potential to be as big as Air Bud but instead the film ends up being more of a miss. Also more than the first film it just feels a bit aimless at times.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Laddie, the son of Lassie. This guy is really aggressive and doesn’t play by the rules. This often frustrates the Duke because Laddie messes up the flowers. Laddie’s owner Joe doesn’t really care all that much though because he correctly realizes that Laddie is just having a lot of fun. Well Joe gets drafted into war so he heads out while Laddie is to finally be trained professionally. The owners underestimate him though and Laddie travels across the country to find Joe. Looks like Laddie will be having a spot in this war after all but is it really safe for him?

I wouldn’t say the film has a huge plot beyond that though. A good chunk of the adventure is Laddie running after Joe, being taken back home, then finding him again, etc. It’s really a cycle that just keeps on going over and over again. Sure by the end we actually get to meet the enemies and Laddie gets to prove his stuff but that’s the very end of the film. For the most part it was relatively aimless until then.

Also Joe doesn’t make for a very compelling main character. Everyone’s always insulting him all the time and he typically doesn’t really notice or react. Intentionally not reacting to a diss is absolutely a good skill but the problem is that I’m not sure if he even notices so that’s not a good look there. You really need to be ready for action at all times and the digs aren’t exactly subtle either. So if you don’t recognize that then we have some problems. His lack of confidence is also huge.

He likes this one girl and she basically tells him to confess several times and it takes a lot to force it out of him. The guy’s just way too nervous and always running off. Some guys can be shy sure, but this was a bit much. You’re just cringing the whole time. The whole romance isn’t particularly good but it’s not a big part of the film anyway so I suppose it doesn’t have a huge impact. It’s just part of a bigger problem which is that any scene with Joe is brutal. The guy also had no plan when he was taken at gunpoint in the climax and Laddie had to do all the work.

I always say if it’s life or death what do you have to lose? In this case the villain is walking Joe up a cliff so that he can be shot and fall into the abyss. Joe knows that, the villain knows that, and I know that. So why would you possibly just keep walking up and wait to get shot? Lunge at the guy, go for the gun etc. What’s he gonna do…shoot you? Well that’s going to happen anyway so you might as well take a chance. It’s not like this is a scenario where you only might get shot. The guy made is clear that Joe has to be exterminated so that’s really it. You have to try and fight back while you still can. Definitely a pretty brutal moment for good ole Joe.

Still, like I said the main problem here is that the film can just be rather boring. The story can barely last 40 minutes, let alone the full length of the title. We probably should have focused more on training scenes or maybe even some military battles. You needed more plots or some kind of hook to pull this off. That being said, I was glad that Joe didn’t go with the other guy’s plan to hit Laddie. That would have been absolutely awful so in all of my bashing of the guy, he got that part right.

There’s really not a whole lot to even talk abut with this film in the end. I guess we can say there was a lot of plot armor in nobody being able to stop Laddie from travelling cross country each time. You’d think the characters would learn and keep the leash on each time but Laddie was always a few steps ahead of them. I would have liked the Duke to have appeared more since he’s always the most enjoyable character but he doesn’t do a whole lot here after the intro scenes. Lassie herself also doesn’t have a big role.

Having her step in to save the day would have been a clever way to get some excitement in here. Actually it’ such a great idea that I’m surprised they didn’t do it. Lassie doesn’t have any of the huge pivotal roles you would expect from the old main character appearing in the sequel. It’d be like if Naruto didn’t do much in Boruto or if Goku was slacking off in Super. Lassie should still be the one making a big play now and then even if Laddie is the one with the final moment.

Overall, Son of Lassie is just not a very interesting film. Mix in the animal violence and it was really out of its depth. I think there is probably a great film mixed in there somewhere…but it’s very deep in there so that’s not going to be all that helpful tbh. In the end a dog film should be a fairly upbeat one where the dog isn’t in any danger. Sure that can be boring if handled wrong but it’s all up to the writers. Surely you should be able to make a film that is still really interesting even without that right? If you can’t…well I guess now we’ve got a real problem now don’t we?

Overall 3/10

The Net Review

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I’m going to let you in on a little secret folks. If you find out that someone is hiding a gun and manage to get your hands on it…don’t give it back to that guy. Get out of there and if you’re trapped then hang onto it! This film will constantly have you shaking your head as the main heroine acts like she is in a horror movie. It all doesn’t make any sense and you just expect better. The movie has its moments but ultimately could and should have been a whole lot better than it was. It just hasn’t aged as well as it could have.

Okay so the movie starts off with a guy destroying himself and then we cut to Angela who is a computer whiz. She knows how to remove viruses from different programs and so when there is a problem she is the first one contacted. She had a remote job before it was cool! Almost nobody even knows what she looks like as a result but hey that’s how it goes. One day one of her colleagues wants to come over to show her something but he dies in a plane crash. There’s not much else she can do about that so she hops on a plane to go on vacation! There she meets a rich guy so they immediately have an affair but it turns out that he is here to murder her! So she escapes but he has basically erased her from the world and put in a fake.

Earlier Angela let some guy steal her wallet and so now she has no form of identification and is on the run. If anyone catches her then it will be game over. Her only hope is a married guy she used to cheat with but they are up against a very experienced hacker whose abilities may even exceed theirs. His resources are also considerable since he is a part of a massive global terrorist organization. One thing’s for sure, Angela will need to watch her back on this one!

Okay so lets talk about Angela here. She makes every possible mistake and only survives this movie through an abundance of plot armor. We’ve established that she works remotely and stays at home to the point where nobody knows what she looks like. Her neighbors and even her land lady have never really seen her. So when the hacker turns to her and changes her contact ID in the federal database….there is no way for her to fight back. Literally this doesn’t work if she has some photos of her life or family who can corroborate this but she doesn’t. The guy stole her ID rather easily beforehand and she has no backups. (More understandable since this was the 90s) This is already a bit of a stretch but for now we can’t blame her all that much right?

Well she’s supposed to be a computer whiz but is extremely slow on the uptake here. So lets go back in time real quick. How did this happen? Well she went to a message board that’s a lot like Reddit and was talking about how she really needs a boyfriend. The very helpful posters asked her what she would like to see in a boyfriend and she wants a high value man. Someone very tall, wealthy, James Bond meets Captain America (in her words) and someone whose job involves helping out the world. Naturally she immediately gets doxed so when she goes on vacation a super great guy is waiting for her there. (The reason the terrorists want her is because she has a disc that can hack the entire U.S. government and every private company within the country. Yeah….don’t think about this one too hard)

Okay so the villains’ entire plan revolves around her falling in love with this guy as if she’s the most shallow person in the planet. What kind of person falls in love at first sight with someone they’ve just met right? Right……uh oh. The guy invites her on his private yacht and she immediately accepts and they have a one night stand. The whole time she explains that she never does this kind of thing but I don’t particularly believe her. Weird thing happens though….the guy runs out of stamina really fast and goes away for a drink but he left his clothes and in it was a loaded gun.

So if you’re Angela what do you do? Do you A. Keep the gun as self defense because this guy could be looney tunes? B. Throw it overboard since this seems dangerous. C. Give him back the gun and ask why he has it…..or D. Go for the immediate headshot, throw him overboard and steal all the money from his wallet? Well D’s a total crime and would make you a villain anyway but I think option A is the best bet right? Well she goes with C. The guy gives a lame excuse about how he uses it for hunting but wouldn’t you know it, Angela’s a part time hunting expert too? Haha! So she calls him out on the lie and then flexes by showing that she removed the bullets.

Unfortunately he just strangles her at this point and she dies 😦 At least that’s what would happen in 99% of instances but through plot armor she fights him off and escapes. I always say that I criticize actions regardless of outcomes though and so I have to take shots here. Giving this guy the gun back is absolute insanity. I don’t care that she took out the bullets. The film establishes that she is a computer nerd through and through. She doesn’t work out, have some kind of super powers or anything like that. He’s stronger than her by all metrics and they are alone on a yacht in the middle of the ocean.

You don’t give the guy his gun back in this circumstance! You can’t, that’s like signing your own death warrant. It’s one of the worst moves I’ve seen the heroine pull in quite a while. That was just brutal and at least things don’t get worse after that but it was just a really bad moment for her. Getting into an affair with a random stranger you just met is also pretty bad but most movie protagonists do that so I won’t dock as many points there. The rest of the film plays out mostly normal. She used to cheat with a married man named Alan and successfully broke his home as the guy got divorced but then the hackers get him next but she manages to break into the villain’s base and turn the tables. All’s well that ends well and all that.

The main villain Jack is also pretty weak here. The guy literally has numerous opportunities to take Angela down and cannot do it. Put it this way, he very clearly did not even need to hire a random pickpocket to take her wallet. She just went along with him to his private yacht for an affair at night so he had a million opportunities to murder her. There’s really nothing she would be able to do at this point and then he can grab the disc he needs to take over the world. The film has plot armor on constantly and this guy looks completely powerless for not being able to do anything. The movie shows that he actually grew to like her….sighhhhhhhhh. So that’s why he couldn’t go all out but it just means that his conviction was nonexistent.

Then we have Alan who completely forgot the role of doctor and patient in having an affair with Angela early on. At least he is single now so it’s not as bad but the damage is done. It makes it hard for you to really like the guy. The movie in general didn’t have a very strong cast even if I do like the idea of your identity being stolen and having to engage in a whole online battle to get it back. I’d have actually liked to have had the message board users get more involved in the whole battle. One of them was a bit handy at least in getting info but Angela is also supremely lucky.

Seriously one of them was already a terrorist and then she decided that they could still be trusted? She looked up the ages and everything to find their “real” identities but could she really be sure that they were accurate? Angela seemed to have no doubts about it so okay….we’ll roll with that. I will say that the icons were fun though and in general the film had good effects for all of the viruses. It’s fun to see how everything looked back then during the original days of the internet.

The movie goes by fast and the pacing is good. It does make for a fairly easy watch, you just have to be prepared to be shaking your head a lot. The movie will absolutely be throwing you for a loop most of the time. The effects are good and I do like the city backdrops the whole time. Visually the movie looks good and while some of the scenarios aren’t super realistic, on the whole the writing is okay. It doesn’t have any super big issues beyond the romance and the questionable decisions. They do keep this from being a movie that I could positively recommend but it’s far from one of the weakest titles that I’ve watched.

Overall, The Net is one of those films I can rant about for quite a while but fortunately for it, most of the issues are around plot armor and convenience. Those are he kinds of issues that don’t hurt a film’s score quite as much. That being said, the romance is just so rushed here and since it is crucial to the villain’s plan that just makes it even more egregious. If the main heroine had a little more restraint then things would have really been a whole lot different. Check it out if you’re interested in the old days of the internet but the novelty is really the main thing that the film has going for it and that doesn’t last the whole picture.

Overall 4/10

Out of Time Review

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Out of Time is a film that I definitely have quite a few issues with. The main character is very unlikable. Trust me I’ve seen worse but my main problem is that in most instances the film recognizes that he’s not a good person while in this case that’s not happening. He basically gets rewarded the whole time so I’m afraid the story got lost in the sauce. That said, lets dive in here and see what happened.

All right so the film starts off by introducing us to Matt who is the chief of police. He recently helped pull off a major drug bust and is really at the top of his game professionally. Personally his life is a mess though. He is in the middle of divorce proceedings with Alex and is cheating on her with another married lady in Ann. Matt’s one of those guys who needs to learn the value of commitment but that’s not happening anytime soon. It turns out that Ann is terminally ill and will be dying soon so she quickly makes Matt the beneficiary of her life insurance since her husband Chris is abusive and doesn’t deserve the money. Matt doesn’t want to give up yet though so he breaks into his own police vault and steals the drug money. He gives it all to Ann who quickly dies in a house fire along with Chris.

Case closed right? Wrong! The FBI is coming over to grab the drug money so Matt needs to stall them now while he gets more money. Additionally it’s looking like Matt is the main suspect for murdering Ann as his wife Alex starts to close in on the case. Matt keeps lying and doing his best to get in the polices’ way but he can only stall for so long. Can he get to the bottom of this conspiracy in time or is he just completely and utterly doomed?

A big problem here is that Matt is really digging his own grave here. The first problem that is completely indefensible is when he gave Ann the drug money. Yes he wants to help her out with the experimental treatment but he needs to dip into his own savings then. Dip into the retirement or take out a loan but you can’t just give her money that isn’t yours. That is a complete no no and is really taboo. No matter what leaps in logic you want to use, that money was just not his to give and is a huge part of the problem that he is in.

Then he also should have just come clean with the cops about how he knew her. Yeah it’s pretty awkward to admit that you were cheating with someone who’s married because that’s just plain despicable but you did it so you gotta own up to it. If Matt wasn’t constantly getting in Alex’s way during the investigation then things would have moved a whole lot sooner. Yeah Matt would be taken into custody too for misusing the funds but that’s what he gets. So every time he is getting in the way it’s just really annoying.

Because of that I would also say that he gets off way too easily. You’re expecting him to die in the end or at least go to jail but none of that happens here. The very ending is actually awful in just how good things go for him. Alex has the most unrealistic response to this situation that I’ve ever seen. Keep in mind that they were literally divorcing due to a lot of petty arguments involving their jobs. So things weren’t on good terms and finding out that he’s been cheating should have really been the last straw. Instead she asks him a soft question about if he actually liked Ann and Matt gives the most textbook, cliché cheater’s response.

Yeah he didn’t really care about her, it was just one of those things, he was caught up in his fields, it was a mistake, blah, blah. You hear those kind of excuses online all the time and I continue to roll my eyes at them each time. There are “mistakes” like perhaps in a moment of weakness smoking a cigarette, saying a swear word, or even stealing something. You realized it was wrong afterwards and stopped. Cheating? That’s a completely different animal. It’s a huge intentional act that you continue to do because you’re enjoying it.

Matt would have absolutely continued to be with Ann if she didn’t die in the house fire. It’s another reason why you don’t buy into his excuse. The guy doesn’t actually regret anything. Yeah I was actively rooting against him in the whole film so that ending was a huge downer. I won’t go as far as to say it was one of the worst endings I’ve seen in a while but it was definitely not a good one. You do not want to see this ending when you are finishing up a movie.

Now in terms of the thriller aspects the film could be solid. I did like the tension of the cops getting closer to the truth little by little. Matt really had to sweat it out for a while there and it was only a matter of time before they would end up catching up. Alex was a good character who was serious about her job and didn’t want any extra drama. She was doing what she had to and even if that meant working with Alex, wasn’t getting distracted. That speaks volumes about her character and work ethic.

I also liked Chae a lot. He’s a really good friend, probably better than what Matt deserves here. The guy put his own career on the line to help the guy out and was consistently helpful. If Matt was in a jam then Chae was always around to try and bounce him out of it. The guy is good at what he does and is very quick on the uptake. Then you have Chris who is a fairly vanilla villain. As a domestic abuser the guy naturally doesn’t rank at all. By the end of the film he looks even worse as more of a pawn who isn’t very smart. This is definitely a film where you aren’t watching for the antagonist.

Then you have Ann and I can’t say that I like her either. I tend to put most of the blame on the guy in events of cheating but she still takes a considerable share. She is also married after all and no matter how things are going, cheating isn’t the answer. There was a safety issue so of course I won’t say that it’s easy to get out but she needed to do better than what she was doing prior. There are some twists by the end and so she gets some strength points but loses some intelligence ones. Lets just say that the more you think about the climax…..the worse it gets. There are easier ways to do things and complicating matters isn’t always the best.

Overall, Out of Time is a movie that is at its best when it is focusing on the mystery/thriller elements. Honestly make Matt a better character and the entire film would get a lot better. As it stands he does hurt things because the whole time you are rooting for him to lose rather than to get out on top. That takes some of the bite out of the film. It also suffers from an incredibly awful romance here and all of the affair scenes are brutal. It makes this a bit of a rough re watch if you were ever going to check it out again and even on the initial viewing it just isn’t going to compete with the higher end titles. You can definitely do better than this one.

Overall 4/10

Captive State Review

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“What is the point of the movie Captive State?” When you google the name of the movie that’s the first result which I found to be pretty funny. The setup for the movie is actually pretty great, the premise holds all kind of potential but unfortunately the movie completely squanders it. I actually think the concept makes the most amount of sense for a TV show because there’s so much to cover. Way too much for a single movie and so this one skips all of the interesting moments and lags on the boring ones. As a result it is impressively bad at squandering all of the potential here. Definitely not what you were hoping for here.

So the movie starts off rather boldly with a few minutes of text setting the stage. In 2019 a bunch of aliens show up to take over the planet. Humanity falls rather easily and by 2027 we have completely submitted to their will. We now willingly work as slaves for the aliens and allow them to deport us off planet to be exterminated and generally get wrecked by them on a day to day basis. The wealth gap has grown even further and there just isn’t a great amount of resistance anymore. There are resistance groups to be sure but every country around the world has openly submitted to the aliens.

This brings us to the main character Gabriel who is a part of one of the resistance groups. He doesn’t particularly love their chances though and is ready to just run out of there. His brother Rafe is a lot more determined to see this through though. The resistance has been building up a huge plan for quite a while. Their creed/motto is “Light a match, ignite a war” with the idea being that if you can destroy at least one alien base it will encourage other humans to start fighting back as well. The tricky part is of course that the bases are guarded extremely well and you can’t really communicate online anymore. The aliens have taken everything over and all cities are under martial law so you have to be incredibly careful. You can’t even trust anyone since most work for the aliens. Can these guys really stop the aliens or is it all over?

So one of my main problems here is naturally the beginning of the film. Earth just kneeled to the aliens so quickly? I can’t picture it. The whole reason why countries around the world have enough nukes to take out the planet hundreds of times over is to prevent them from being taken over. It’s why you will likely not see any first world country like the US, Russia, or Europe be taken over within our lifetimes. We’d sooner press the button and send everyone out of this life than take the loss. In a case like this where the whole world is under attack then that becomes even more likely since at least someone would have made that call.

Now if the modern day had shown the whole world in ruins then that would be one thing but it’s not. The world is clearly a little more desolate but we still have all the news channels and things look pretty high tech. You could say that the aliens rebuilt the world but that’s never even remotely hinted at so I personally doubt it. It looks to me like we just put up basic resistance and got wrecked without trying anything too extreme. The film really needed to show us more of the aliens’ capabilities to make this work.

Perhaps they hit the planet with a giant EMP that disabled all of the nukes or something like that. We got to see that they are immune to basic guns and stuff but it’s not like that’s super impressive. We needed to see a lot more of them but unfortunately this isn’t that kind of film. There are a few action scenes but really not as many as you would expect. We never get any great shots of the aliens as they’re always hidden in the shadows or mostly kept out of view. This is where a bit more of a budget could have helped the movie. We really should have seen the aliens more.

This isn’t your traditional alien invasion film because the whole alien invasion is skipped. Because of that big time skip at the middle we jump into the film when the humans have already lost. The main problem with this is…the movie’s pretty boring. There’s a ton of strategizing that doesn’t really go anywhere. In fact thanks to a twist near the end it really felt like most of the film was pointless. It all did serve a purpose of course because the twist involves someone using the whole film as part of a plan but it does make things feel a bit futile. The price for getting to the end was also absolutely massive. This was not a good plan. It revolves around a ton of things going in a specific way and also basically sacrificing a lot of others in the process.

The characters were desperate to be sure but you just feel like there had to be a better way. The film can be a bit violent when things look dire for the heroes. I wouldn’t call it super bloody or anything though, more painful than anything. The film is pretty serious and isn’t super long so it has that going for it but for example I couldn’t really tell you very many standout scenes.

For the most part there are no real happy moments to be found here. The heroes are always on the back foot and hope seems completely lost. The problem of course comes back to the beginning once again. The aliens have ruled for quite a while now and humanity really lost their chance to mount much of a comeback. Sure they can start fighting now but it’s all already too late. Presumably the humans all get exterminated in short order once the aliens take them serious. with whatever forces they had to enslave humanity so quickly they can surely deal with the resistance as well. That’s why we needed to see how this happened so the film could offer up a good reason on why that wouldn’t happen again.

As a silver lining though I did like Rafe a lot. He may not have been the main character but he had a really strong will the whole time. He was all about the mission from the start even when a lot of the others were starting to have doubts. You have to be strong like that when you’re completely outnumbered. It’s hard to imagine what it’s like to live through an enemy invasion and hopefully you never have to experience that. This guy did his best.

Now I mentioned this being better as a TV show. Well the reason for that is you could have the whole first season or two be about the aliens arriving and taking over. This part is more like you average alien invasion story and the cliffhanger could be the big time skip where the aliens actually won. Then the following seasons deal with the aftermath and the rebellion. That’s exactly how I would have handled it and then you could really use this premise to its full potential. It wouldn’t get nerfed due to the limited time available. Give this film more time so it can focus on other things and I think it could have been better. Perhaps not if it stayed on the more boring scenes but I do think it could have pulled this off.

Overall, Captive State has some decent twists here but ultimately you still wonder if the plan was even worth it. The humans lost a whole lot in these battles and it feels like they kept on losing more and more as things all played out. The movie didn’t give me enough reason to believe that the aliens would win. The premise was good but the film made 0 use of it. Even the aftermath should have been far more interesting than it was. There is a lot to explore in a world about aliens ruling over the humans but the film didn’t grab my attention. I’d absolutely recommend watching a different alien invasion film instead.

Overall 3/10