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Twilight Princess has finally gotten a manga. It’s still the only big LoZ game that I have not played so it’ll be cool to see how this title pans out. Wolves better not keep perishing though or that could end up hurting the series quite a bit. I’ll have a review for the series when it finishes.
Overall 6/10
I’ve finally started one of the new big hits. This series definitely looks like it’ll be a fun one even if one of the plot twists shouldn’t have happened. The fire/ice kid is definitely the best character so far so we’ll see if he can hold this place for the entire series or if he will be surpassed. I’ll have a review for the title when it is all done.
Overall 7/10
This review is of the edited TV-14 version. All thoughts below should be read as such as a review of the unedited version would be even more negative.
Well well, it’s time to look at a horror film that also happens to be a comic book film. I’m not sure about this combo and it certainly didn’t work out this time. Constantine ends up being a very weak title which contradicts its own message and spends a lot of time wondering just where the plot went. One thing’s for sure, this isn’t the sleeper hit of 2005 and it even makes the recent Ghost Rider film look good.
The film’s about a guy named Constantine who exorcises demons. He wants to be allowed into Heaven since he has done a good job of keeping the demons away, but the angel Gabriel reminds him that one cannot enter into Heaven on good works alone. Constantine shows his contempt for this by slamming a Bible on the ground, insulting and berating a lady who is trying to save her sister, and then torturing a spider that he found in his house. Yeah….I wonder why they aren’t letting this guy into Heaven….It’s impossible to root for Constantine from this point on, but one thing leads to another and he’s the only guy standing in the way of a mad quest for power with human lives in the balance. Looks like it’s time to fight again!
It’s hard to know where to start on how bad this film is. We may as well get the ball rolling with Constantine since I’ve already started taking shots at him. He’s just a horrendous main character. Constantine doesn’t seem to even pretend to follow the Bible’s teachings. He spends the entire film being mean to just about everyone and his opening scene where we’re supposed to be impressed with how he handles the exorcist just makes him look bad. He’s not even that good at his job and barely manages to scratch out wins. Constantine loves smoking as well and even after he gets lung cancer, he decides to keep on smoking anyway. Once he gets a sidekick, Constantine tries to be a little more heroic when he’s not pulling guns at demons at a bar where there’s a truce, but it’s too little too late. I’ll never forget the spider incident. Sure, he had a bad day, but taking it out on another living creature is way past crossing the line.
There’s also this subplot in the desert where a guy finds a spear which mind controls him and forces the guy to come over to the city. Not only does this plot go nowhere until the very end of the film, but it is immensely boring and just slows the film’s pacing down even more. The film never really gets good or exciting so it may not matter all that much while you’re watching, but it doesn’t help matters.
The film can also be pretty violent at times and also just grotesque with the various demons running around. Supernatural films like this one love going for those crazy visuals. There were some good ones here like when Constantine went into hell. I liked how the place looked and the film had potential with some of the fight scenes and other special effects. It was one of the few positives that this title had to offer.
Back to the negatives, the film decides to make God (Yes, the film actually decided to go with the real God in this film. Big mistake considering that they decided to make him look terrible) look incredibly unintelligent and he spends the entire film getting tricked by everyone around him. Part of the premise in this film is that God and the Devil are having a chess game with humans being the pawns in it. Neither one of them can affect the humans directly, but they can tempt them. The Devil tempts them to do wrong things with his demon hybrids while God has the half angels. Full fledged Demons and Angels are forbidden from interfering. Aside from the moral ambiguity of this game, you’d think that God would ensure that the match is fair right? Nope, he doesn’t realize it, but the Devil has rigged the match from the start.
He’s not even subtle as he just summons a bunch of Demons to Earth and directly attacks people. His allies even go to bars and start indiscriminately murdering people. They also murder one of Constantine’s allies and an angel can do nothing but watch since he’s heavily outnumbered. Of course, the fact that the angel was watching and doing nothing the entire time is another negative. It gets even worse as one of the higher ranked Angels turns out to be crazy and evil. God appointed him as one of the 4 big Angels so you’d think that the interview process would have been more rigid. The Angel believes that he’s still a good guy and that genocide will help the human race turn to God before they die. He believes that suffering always has this effect, but you can see how crazy he is.
Also, the Devil is portrayed as incredibly strong and while God won’t set foot on Earth, he has no qualms about it. He shows up and wrecks everybody. The final straw is the fact that he can mess with Heaven as well. So, remember the part where Constantine can’t earn his way into Heaven with actions? Yeah…the film forgot about that. By being heroic and helping someone out, he was able to earn his way into Heaven, but the Devil can’t have that. He literally reaches up and just pulls Constantine back to Earth. Wow…..I can’t even….
So…yeah, this movie had a very warped idea of how Heaven and Hell works. It’s always nice to see a film actually bring Christianity to the forefront and tackle these concepts, but it was done so horrendously that it backfired completely. I don’t believe we even got any lines where the characters remind Constantine that he can only get into Heaven through Jesus Christ. It seemed to completely revolve around being a nice person instead, which is 100% false. No matter how many good deeds you do or how nice you are as a person, it will never be enough to get you into Heaven without accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. The whole point of faith in Christianity is that you know that you can’t make it to Heaven on your own. You need Jesus, but this film decides to go around that. Also, the concept of an Angel being evil is pretty terrible. Lucifer was an angel once and there are other Fallen Angels, but they are fallen. There aren’t any evil Angels still lurking or anything like that. That’s just Hollywood trying for an epic plot twist, but there isn’t any to be found in Heaven. I don’t think for one minute that any bad guy can trick God into letting him in.
As for the rest of the supporting characters, the main heroine was decent. Angela was certainly a big improvement over Constantine and she goes through a lot of trials in order to help her sister out. Her sister committed suicide, but Angela knows that she would never do such a thing and it finally helps her to believe in the supernatural. This brings another negative to light which I almost forgot about. All right, stay with me here since the film decides to use its crazy logic again.
So, a demon possessed Isabel and forced her to destroy herself. That wasn’t her own free will so she surely wouldn’t be penalized for it would she? Nope…she actually is. See, as part of the match, this falls into the whole “Satan influencing people” part so it’s actually a legitimate victory for him with Isabel now being doomed to Hell for eternity. Now you can see how this whole game is so rigged right? Luckily, Isabel ends up having a happy ending, but once again, the Devil was just portrayed as way too powerful here. Essentially, he was the one with power over Heaven and Hell in this version given how he can influence the game to such a degree.
So, Angela’s a good character. I also liked Chas, who’s the comic relief character of the film. He did a good job in the role and helped out as best he could. Things didn’t go too well for him, but he does get a big plot twist in the post credits scene…which may or may not be canon as I also read that it was an alternate ending. I’m pretty sure that it is canon though, but I don’t really care enough about the film to do any searching. If you see the film you can stick around past the credits and tell me if it’s there. None of the villains were particularly likable and the demons didn’t have great designs. The final fights were pretty decent, but Constantine was so far out of his league that it was scary. He’s a human with a gun….there’s only so much he can do against a very fast/powerful demon. Plot hax is really his only weapon at this point.
Overall, Constantine is pretty terrible to be honest. I’d stick far away from this film if I were you. The film defies its own logic and the logic is already super flawed and fake from the get go. You won’t learn anything from this film because there is nothing to learn and the actual movie isn’t well made anyway. Constantine is a very unlikable main character and even the edited version can’t save the film’s writing and the excessive violence that shows up at times. All of Constantine’s allies (One of which is a priest who likes to drink a lot. Gee….the film had to fit that in didn’t it?) are doomed to painful and unfortunate ends at the hands of the demons and since the heroes never had a shot from the beginning…what’s the point? If you want a better comic book film, I recommend Batman V Superman, the original theater version. That film has it all, hype, action, and an epic soundtrack!
Overall 2/10
I’ve been meaning to buy this game for ages, but it just never happened. Luckily, I ended up buying a Wii U from a relative and got a few games for free. This one happened to be among them so I finally got a chance to play the final 3D Mario adventure. While it isn’t quite as good as the others, it’s still a great game and one that I’d recommend to all Mario fans. With 4 Player Mode, you can imagine how chaotic a lot of these levels are. There’s also a lot of content here so you won’t be cheated out of 60 dollars like with Star Fox Zero. Not that this matters much at the moment though since the game goes for 20 nowadays. At that price, how can you not get it?
The plot is pretty simple and to the point. Bowser has kidnapped a bunch of fairies and Mario has decided to get them back. Bowser has amassed quite the army this time though so Mario has enlisted the help of Luigi, Peach, and Toad. Together, the four of them are ready to take down all the foes who would dare stand in their way. Rosalina also shows up to help, but only after Bowser has already been defeated so it was a little too late by that point. Awesome character to play as though.
By now, the gameplay is likely self explanatory to most Mario fans. It’s a 3D Mario Platformer where you have to try and reach the end of a level. They are all linear so the levels work more like the 2D games or Galaxy to an extent rather than the more complex/circular levels from the Super Mario 64 and Sunshine days. (Still the best two Mario games) Each character has a special ability that will help you complete the levels. Mario…is Mario. The sheer hype that his cap brings to the table is all that you need. Luigi can jump extra high which should help you reach the flagpole just about every time. Toad has some super speed which can help in the races/speed levels. Finally, Peach can float for a limited time which is like having the Raccoon Tail permanently. Her ability is easily the most useful and I’d say that she is unquestionably the best character in the game. Getting the Green Stars with her is almost too easy. As for Rosalina, she can spin, which works as an attack like having the Tail. It’s pretty useful against bosses and enemies alike. That being said, I’d still give Peach the edge over her. Once you start floating around, you don’t go back!
As always, Mario 3D World has an impressive soundtrack by its side for the levels. While they aren’t quite as ironic as the other titles, there are still a few themes that may become iconic from this one like the boss theme. The game did a very good job with that one since it is fast paced and gets you excited for what’s to come. Graphically, the game is also as good as ever with the colors really standing out. Nintendo’s definitely done a good job of staying near the forefront in this area.
As mentioned earlier, there is a lot of replay value here. After the initial 8 worlds, there are 3 bonus ones and then a final secret world. The last world is a little on the small side, but to unlock it you will need to collect all of the Green Stars and stickers, which should take you a very long time in and of itself. The stickers were actually a neat touch, but I don’t like the fact that you have to beat all of the levels with each character in order to unlock some of them. That seems like it would be a little tedious after a while. Most of the levels are only about 2-5 minutes long so it’s not terrible, but you shouldn’t have to do all of that to unlock the world. All of the Green Stars is reasonable, but not the rest of the requirements.
The game does have a little bit of an issue with repetition though. You can guess what will happen in each world based on the first. You’ll get to the castle, where the Fairy will yell “Help!” You’ll save her and then she’ll build a pipe to the next world. This happens at each world with the same music and everything. Both of the Bowser battles are identical and the game also reuses mini/normal bosses in the game. I suppose with a title this long that’s an efficient way to do things, but the repeated cutscenes is certainly a no no. At least switching up the music would be a nice switch.
The Mario games live in a staus quo that they don’t want to switch and that’s fine. I can get used to fighting Bowser at the end every time because it’s classic. That being said, It would be fun if the games would throw in more of a plot. I feel like Mario Sunshine took a large step forward with that as it had actual cutscenes and a talking character. Granted, Mario didn’t handle his arrest as well as Sonic did in Adventure 2 Battle, but..heh, few characters are quite as cool as that hedgehog!
One of the big selling points with this title was the fact that you could play with 4 players through the story. That was certainly fun. It comes at the expense of the gameplay mechanics to an extent as there has been a noticeable drop from the Galaxy titles, but it was still good overall. I do think that splitscreen should return though as one player shouldn’t die if he goes too far from the other. This can get tricky in the stages where jumping switches them all around or when you’re running away from lava/Bowser. It makes for good tactics though and Peach can typically cheese the levels anyway. You’ll always want to play as her.
This game also saw the debut of Captain Toad so it was nice to see him around. The gameplay is fun and these are the kinds of puzzles that I can get behind. They are like brain warmers with one correct answer and not too much guesswork. You’ll either know the answer of you’ll have to walk around and figure it out. You don’t have to sail across the world in order to find the goal. (Final Fantasy VII…..) I definitely wouldn’t want to buy Captain Toad for 40, but if it drops to 20 then that could be reasonable. It would be ironic if I bought that game before New Super Mario Bros U or Luigi Mansion Dark Moon though since it’s more of a spinoff than those two.
Another minigame of sorts in this title was the box challenges. You could earn up to 10 Green Stars in those by winning really quick contests. These tended to be a lot easier with co-op than they would have been otherwise for missions where you had to defeat several enemies in 10 seconds. I liked these bite size challenges and would be up for seeing them reappear in the NX Mario title. I want the Hub World to come back for next time though. Just look at Mario 64 or Sunshine for how to do a Hub World. Galaxy had it as well, but it was a lot less interesting so the next game shouldn’t take a leaf out of that book.
Overall, Mario 3D World is another solid title from Nintendo. It feels like a well polished title with enough fun and extra content to keep you busy for a while. It’s still the weakest Mario 3D platformer, partially due to the fact that it plays out more like a 3D New Super Mario Bros than a full fledged title. The soundtrack also wasn’t quite as epic as those and it felt like it was less of a grand installment. I imagine that it wasn’t a system seller the way that the others were. Still, Nintendo’s seal of quality is certainly found here and I invite you to try and match your gaming skills against this title. Are your Mario skills as good as you think they are?
Overall 8/10
Stats time!
22/50 Trophies
5/16 Recordings
1/5 Documents
1/16 Secret Bags
Movement 13/19
Combat 12/20
Gear 10/11
Story 72%
World 6%
Division 5
There is no save feature in this game so there aren’t any stats as a result. Gotta love the old password games eh?
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