Category Archives: Reviews

A Quiet Place: Day One Review

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That tagline is ripped right out of the Wolverine tie-in game for Gamecube. I can’t believe it. “Stay low. Stay quiet. Stay alive!” Still one of the more memorable superhero lines since I had to hear it over and over and over and over again since I died so many times on that level. It was definitely not a game for the faint of heart. Unfortunately that tagline is tough to follow for the main characters of this film who panic continually and can’t stop yelling. I didn’t like the main characters much at all and the whole film feels like a bit of a waste of time. They didn’t bother answering any of the important questions about what happened when the aliens first landed which defeats the purpose of a prequel.

The film starts off by introducing us to Sam who has cancer and it seems to be pretty far along as she doesn’t know how much longer she has to live. She is taken care of at a hospice along with a lot of others and one day the nurse Reuben says he is taking everyone to see a show. Sam gets lured in by the promise of pizza but once they’re there, the plans are changed as the government has declared a state of emergency. Giant monsters are showing up and eating everybody. Sam decides she will get her pizza anyway but along the way she bumps into a guy called Eric who is super annoying the whole time. Can she shake him and get her pizza or is it too late?

No offense to the characters or anything but who asked for this? We wanted a prequel to explain how the government possibly lost to a race of aliens that are extremely primitive and have numerous weaknesses? You can drown them, burn them, overwhelm them with sound….they’re not even bullet proof. So I was hoping this prequel would answer that. It could focus on the army the whole time as we learn some uncomfortable truths about how they were helping the aliens or something. No…once again we’re following some humans who are outmatched and outgunned here.

I mean the main heroine is dying of cancer, obviously she isn’t going to be able to fight these monsters. It’s just a really strange choice and I can tell you now that the film doesn’t bother even trying to tell you how we lost to these things. It’s just taken as a fact and you really have to stretch your disbelief here. Ah well maybe we’ll get a spinoff to the prequel one of these days that focuses on the army. That would be a good idea I’d say.

Okay so for Sam, she’s not a terrible main character or anything. She doesn’t have the best attitude but she’s in a pretty sucky situation as it is since cancer is rough. So I can cut her a bit of slack even if I think she still doesn’t handle the situations very well. Yelling through the rain is just not a good tactical decision and can get you in a whole lot of trouble right out of the gate. Also her final decision was not a good one. Yes, it’s always tempting to end things quickly with a decisive move like that but you have to try and survive for as long as possible. You can’t just give up no matter how rough it looks.

As for Eric, I have less patience for this guy. For starters, he keeps on following Sam around everywhere even when she doesn’t want to be followed and in a world like this it puts her in direct danger. He needed to mind his own business and stay away. That would have been the only smart thing to do here. Then when he is around he’s bumping into stuff and also yelling a lot. She now had to take care of someone in addition to her cat which isn’t easy. If he could fight that would help but he’s mainly here to hold her back.

I will give the film kudos for not bumping off the cat. That would have been terrible so the film at least managed to avoid doing that. Would have really blown the film’s score up. Even without that, the film has a lot of problems though. A good portion of this feels like a complete retread to the first film. It’s not really doing anything exciting or different with the premise. It’s just the characters hiding around trying not to make noise like last time. Sure, to an extent that is going to be the case due to the nature of the monsters but at the same time there has to be some way to differentiate it at least a little bit. Otherwise what is really the point of all these adventures.

That’s part of why it feels like a waste. It’s just everybody getting murdered by the monsters and since it’s a prequel you can’t even say that they’re making progress or learning any new information. Instead we actually know less than we did the last time since these characters have no way to have learned anything about these beasts. We do get quick cameos and guest star roles from future characters that will be showing up like the guy from the second movie so at least that’s neat.

The film could stand to tone down the violence somewhat. Seeing the monsters ripping up the humans and devouring them the whole time gets old pretty quick. Maybe if the humans could fight back more it could be better but as it stands it is just one more thing against the film. I also think that the film could benefit from having the characters talking more. It’s something they can’t do because of the plot though so the movie sort of starts to trap itself here. It’s hard to keep your interest when everything is so silent the whole time. It ends up making the film drag on which is not the effect that you want to have.

You also have to really stretch your disbelief every time the heroes are running away from the monsters. Seriously this happens over and over again where they start running and the monsters don’t catch up immediately. This should be a really quick catch for the monsters based on how fast they run. Almost every scene feels like plot armor so you’ll start shaking your head very quickly here. It ultimately just doesn’t add up at all.

Overall, A Quiet Place isn’t treading any new ground here. You may as well watch the first one again and I hope that they find some way to change up the formula in the next title. There is just so much more that you should be able to do with this series. Lets start humanity’s comeback or something. Or if we get another film in the past, it needs to be about the government. I need to understand what happened to cripple the planet so badly because the current responses leave a lot to be desired.

Overall 3/10

Final Fantasy XV Review

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Final Fantasy XV got so much hype when it was coming out. It seemed like Square’s push to bring in a bunch of people who had never played the series before along with a bunch of veterans. It seemed super ambitious and the marketing was everywhere. Final Fantasy is one of those games that has always been equipped with a ton of content and really live up to the AAA brand. Well, I was eager to see what this one was like even though the promos for this never looked as interesting as the others. Less fantastical and more realistic. Well, it does have a slower start than some of the Final Fantasies and I dare say that it’s easily the shortest out of the modern titles (VI and up) but it does really turn up in the second half. It’s an elite title even if it loses to a lot of its rivals.

The story follows a prince named Noctis. He is going to be married soon and so for now he is travelling with his body guards/friends for one last ride. Unfortunately, while his country was working on a ceasefire/peace treaty with the opposing nation, they were betrayed. The army never came for peace and so instead they quickly assassinate the King and take over. Noctis is now a wanted man and nobody is safe with the evil empire in charge. Noctis needs to make sure that his fiancé is okay and then head on over to the kingdom to save it. Noctis will need to gather the 15 weapons of power among the various tombs in order to win the day but is he worthy of the title of king?

A lot of the game is about Noctis learning what it means to be royalty. He complains a whole lot at first and never seems to see the cup as half full. To his defense, it feels like the friends are rather harsh on him the whole time too. They are constantly yelling and so this ends up having a ripple effect where everybody is yelling at each other. They are all good friends though, they just bicker a lot. Noctis does mature a lot as the game goes on though, he’s really forced to as the stakes get higher and more people start to be lost.

Like I said before though, the beginning is a bit slow. For a while it’s really like the characters are hanging out. You get to check out the various sites across the country and handle side missions. It’s clear that the game wants you to have fun exploring as you are given a car and get to drive around in real time. This is a mixed bag though. The quick travel system is way too convoluted as you can only warp to different places when you’re in a car and even then it can only be some locations. If you want to drive somewhere, the game will default to the long drive instead of quick travel if the location isn’t exact.

Then they are going for full realism with the drive but because of that some drives can actually take 10-15 minutes in real time. This is a game where you almost want to take out a book midway. Additionally the characters often want to stop to take photos and such. It’s a good idea for extra EXP though. When it’s night time you have to get off the road or you will be hit with encounters every few second and their levels are really high initially. Eventually once you get the ring of power you can one shot all of them but you don’t get that until the very end of the game.

It makes sense though because that ring makes any enemy encounter absolutely trivial except for the few who can resist it. It’s great for grinding at the end of the game though. There are many ways to get EXP outside of battling so feel free to go dishing and help people cross the street. It all adds up and you get the feeling that you will be super OP in the game once you have collected everything. The recommended level to beat the game is in the 40s after all.

The game is reasonably difficult and does scale well. Better make sure you are keeping up with your training or you will be in trouble. The game has a lot of different environments but generally the toughest parts are the underground dungeons. Because of how narrow the passageways are, it’s very difficult to dodge so you better be really good at parrying. When you go into those dungeons you really need to keep your guard up at all times.

As for the gameplay, it’s a real time action title. It reminds me a bit of .Hack, there aren’t breaks but your attacks deal no stun damage. So you and the enemy will be hitting each other at the same time and you have to keep track of your health very carefully. The wrong hit will land you into a real world of hurt. The way death works is a bit complicated but basically you can die tons of times as long as you hit yourself with a potion fast enough. Eventually it runs out though. As a good way to avoid a hit, use an ally skill. You get 2 seconds of invincibility each time which you can exploit real easily.

The graphics are really good as you can expect. The visuals are top notch and the energy blasts are always fun. The fire summon skill is really crazy as it looks like the whole place got hit by a meteor. The cinematics are also on point so the game never slows down. The soundtrack is also pretty good. It’s not quite as solid as something like FFXIII but it holds its own without a doubt. The technicals don’t fail here.

While I may have some issues like with the general travel and the hub world sometimes being more tedious than it should be, I definitely respect the effort put into this one. There are a bunch of games within this game like the Justice Blasters and of course a whole fishing gameplay mode. When checking the trophies online, I see this is the hardest one for people to get aside from the Platinum and I can see why. I only did fishing once so to get that to max level will probably take a very long time.

It’s all fun though so that won’t stop me. So some menus and quality of life features aside, the only real negative I would say is the long loading times. People clown on Sonic 2006 all the time but I would say those loading times were considerably shorter than this one. You get massive loading times every time you fast travel or change regions. Sometimes a cutscene will have two loading screens back to back. Mix that in with all of the driving and it feels like there is a whole lot of idle time. Remove the loading times and without a doubt the game would be more streamlined. Who knows, maybe that’s the case in the deluxe versions that came out later on. I know this game got tons of DLCs so that could be fun some day although realistically I rarely play DLCs. Just not enough time.

Overall, Final Fantasy XV takes some getting used to but as with all titles in the series it does really drive up the intensity as you play through the game. You won’t wan to stop as you just enjoy what is going on all the way through. It could stand to be longer but I won’t use that as a serious knock against the game because of all the extra content. The priority seems to be on the side content this time with well over 100 side missions and an absolutely massive hub world that would even do Breath of the Wild proud. I would recommend checking out this game. It’s definitely a blast.

Overall 9/10

Scarface Review

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It’s time to look at a film that’s all about gang violence. You’ve got a bunch of people all fighting to be number 1 but of course you’d expect a guy with the codename Scarface to quickly rise to the top. Most of the film is really about him climbing as he goes from being a nobody to one of the most feared names out there. He really gets everything that he wants but you can never keep that level of success for long and so things get dicey for him.

As the movie begins, we get to see that Scarface is good at his job right away. He does whatever the boss needs from him whether it be bouncing or shooting folks. We also see his weakness right away which is that he is very aggressive and wants to keep moving upwards. While the boss is happy to settle for the territory that he has now, Scarface wants everything. He just keeps on picking fights and shooting more people until he has more and more power. Eventually the cops will catch him right?

Well a big part of the film is about how the cops basically had their hands tied the whole time. They want to get Scarface and they know he’s guilty but there’s nothing that’ll stick. The witnesses quickly become blind and no there’s nobody to let them prosecute the guy. It makes sense because when the mafia had this much power, they could easily get some retribution on the witness. It’s one of the big problems with the justice system that you even see nowadays. Not in the national headlines or the big cases but on a local level people can be afraid to report a crime because that information isn’t always private. In other cases it may also be that it will become obvious who snitched when the cops showed up.

You do feel like there should be a way around that when you know the guy is guilty but that gets into a whole debate on admissible proof and everything. Generally I think all proof should be admissible but that’s another topic. All villains have a weakness and Scarface’s ends up being the ladies. He likes Poppy who was the girlfriend of his boss but Scarface eventually took over. He started disrespecting the guy publicly and moving up so she quickly went to him. You sort of wonder why he would want to be with her at all when she clearly didn’t like him at all until he got rich. Do you really want a fake girlfriend like that?

Well I guess he was desperate enough and in the end that didn’t help matters. It causes him to to have to show off and get even more status the whole time. Meanwhile his sister also wants to live a glamorous life and so the more that Scarface tries to shelter her, the more she acts out and gets even more provocative. Obviously Scarface was in the wrong here as well so he was really a full on villain everywhere. It’s one thing to want her to be careful and not mix in with the gangsters but it’s another to basically tell her to stay home all day and even get physical when she doesn’t listen.

It makes Scarface look terrible and it’s a hard plot to understand because of how extreme he was. Honestly it would have been a satisfying ending if she was the one to take him out but ultimately she falters. I guess the film didn’t want her to have to sink to that level but I thought that ending would have been rather poetic the whole time. It would have been pretty justified with everything that she had been through. Yeah, going with one of Scarface’s pals was a bad move but he was going to have that reaction with anybody.

With all these crooks running around, you’re definitely rooting for the cops to get their win later on. It takes a while for them to be able to do anything here but they were written really well. I particularly liked he detective who would walk in and call Scarface out. Even outnumbered the guy was as confident as could be and said he wasn’t afraid of Scarface. He also wasn’t taking any disrespect and really landed a solid punch on the guy at the barber shop.

It’s naturally going to be frustrating to not be able to take the villains down on sight so you definitely feel that the whole time. The movie conveys this well and with the quality writing the whole time, you are definitely engaged with what’s going on. The pacing is good and the film has a solid climax. There is definitely a good amount of action going on here and the whole thing has aged well.

At most I would have just liked to have seen the enemy gang a little more. They really don’t get to do much at all and get taken out with incredible ease. Showing them taking more of Scarface’s allies down would have been good to establish why the previous boss didn’t want to mess with them. Based on the events of the film, it seems like Scarface was correct in expanding the territory and picking this fight. The enemies were definitely not ready for them even if there was some collateral damage.

Overall, Scarface is a pretty interesting movie. While none of the main characters are likable since they’re all crooks, it does show you what a dangerous lifestyle it all is. When you live by the gun you are very likely to die by it as well. You also can’t go to the cops when you’re in trouble either so then you have to try and find some friends you can trust. And that list will be getting smaller and smaller as the days go on. It’s just not the kind of business where you can even afford to trust anybody after all. When you watch it, you’ll definitely appreciate how you don’t have to worry about the mafia as often anymore.

Overall 7/10

Juror #2 Review

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It’s time for a classic courtroom drama and I’m always a big fan of those. We get to really see a lot of the jury duty process and the film avoids having any flashy subplots to distract from the main story. This is really about what the jury thinks happened and we get to see both sides of the case as made out by the defense and prosecution. The film lets you think about their cases for a little while before showing you what happened here which I thought was a really good move.

The case is as follows, one night James and his girlfriend Kendall were having another one of their fights. Apparently they have a long history of fights that got really intense and this time Kendall stormed off to head home in the middle of a heavy rainstorm. It’s a fairly long walk back and this was in the dead of night through the highway which isn’t a really safe spot. The next morning they found her dead in the wilderness with injuries suggesting a physical blow. James was taken in as the sole suspect and the prosecution is making the case that he murdered her. Meanwhile the defense doesn’t believe this happened and so that’s where the case starts.

A lot of the evidence is against James from the start with how he’s a drunk and has a long history of fighting with her. It seems like things would get abusive although we see several different versions of each scene based on who is telling the story so it can be hard to say exactly what did or did not happen. Regardless, it’s clear that he wasn’t the best guy around which doesn’t make him look great in the jury’s eyes. They all immediately think he’s guilty except for Justin who thinks this is all moving too fast. He wants James to get a fair trial.

Regardless of if James is guilty or not, Justin is certainly right about the others not taking this seriously enough. It’s a shame but jury duty has become something that everyone dreads and they all try to get away from the job. As a result you sometimes have a jury that just doesn’t care about what is going on and they want to leave as soon as possible. I know the point is to trust an impartial jury of 12 of your peers but honestly I’m not sure I would trust them at all. Best thing to do is make sure you never commit a crime or go anywhere near where a crime is going on but sometimes things are out of your control and so you just need to really hope that you get a good jury.

The movie really makes sure to have one of the more annoying set of jurors here so you can really sympathize with Justin’s struggles here. One of the ladies there is constantly trying to pick fights and just wants to go home to her kids. You can bet that every time they all try to start talking about the case she will be throwing out strawman arguments. Then you’ve got another guy with a massive chip on his shoulder who basically says he will be voting guilty no matter what and doesn’t care what evidence comes out. The accused was part of a gang at one point and so the juror believes that he is still guilty no matter what.

The film doesn’t hide that James has made a lot of mistakes here but of course at the end of the day you’re just here to judge on a crime, not the rest of his life history. The older jurors tend to be the most reasonable ones like the ex detective who is ready to look into things and the old lady who always tries to hear people out. There is also a doctor in training who helps them analyze the injury. The film shows how everyone is able to contribute something different to the conversation based on their lived experiences. It probably won’t go so neatly in practice but it’s a fun idea.

That said, as the film goes on you begin to like Justin less and less. Early on in the film he begins to suspect something and this turns his attitude upside down. He ends up being a very selfish person, someone who prioritizes himself when the going gets tough. To an extent that’s fine, it’s human nature after all. But he takes it really far because we are talking about a man’s life here. For murder you’re either going to get death or life in prison and so you have to actually give your best while you’re in the courtroom.

Justin tries to rationalize things a whole lot but at the end of the day his words ring hollow. His attempt at a philosophical argument just shows how desperate he is. So yeah by the end I didn’t like him. His wife Allison also didn’t look very good for most of the film but I’ll cut her a little slack due to the fact that she’s pregnant. That can really mess with your hormones and emotions the whole time after all. Would have been nice if she could have been more supportive and giving Justin some good advice but it is what it is.

Meanwhile Faith was the main prosecutor here and so she was the one trying to push for a guilty sentence. The problem is that she also had selfish reasons for doing so because getting such a conviction would grant her a promotion. Her conscience starts to really ring loudly as the film goes on and several characters let her know of the big mistake she is making. Ultimately she does make the right decisions so I’ll give her credit here even if it took a lot of prodding. Eric gets a lot of points for trying his best the whole time and not losing faith in the justice system. Like he says, it’s not perfect but it’s what they have to work with.

Like I still don’t buy into the whole thing about not being able to look up information about the case on your own. I feel like that would be super beneficial in a lot of situations. I understand the logic behind why the rule was made in the first place but the positives against it are just too strong if you ask me.

Overall, This was definitely a great film and it had a really satisfying ending. You’re definitely glad to see the justice going on. At the end of the day it can be a bit of a sad film since justice doesn’t change what happened earlier but at least you can walk away knowing that you did something and made a difference. That’s something that nobody else can take away from you. All that being said, I’d still rather not be called on my next summons, it’s much more fun to watch than to participate.

Overall 8/10

Drifting Home Review

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It’s time for an anime film with a lot of drama and big events going on. The kids really had to go through a lot here but at the end of the day they pull through and show what real determination can do. It’s a solid film but this is one of the rare times I’ll say that the film went on too long. They start to retread some of the same story beats multiple times and I even think the whole plot of bringing in the veggie people muddied the overall message. Personally the story could have shaved about 30 minutes off and flowed better.

The story starts by introducing us to Kosuke who has a long history with a girl named Natsumi. She had to live at his place for a while when they were kids but then Kosuke’s grandfather died and the two grew really distant. At school they can barely even talk to each other and Natsumi heads to the abandoned projects to be by herself. Those are the old buildings where they used to live and Kosuke’s friends figure it’ll be fun to treat them as haunted houses and go exploring. Kosuke isn’t thrilled about this but he accompanies them and that causes Reina and her friend to give chase. Suddenly the whole building is seemingly carried away and when the kids get up they realize they are all alone at sea. Their home is just drifting along like a boat and there is nothing in sight across all directions. Are they doomed to die out at sea?

Being stuck out at sea while only being a kid is definitely a rough situation and even more so when the characters don’t get along. The premise works really well with the mystery as you wonder how the characters even got to this point. Was it magic that whisked the characters away or is it all a dream like Natsume says? The hunger and fatigue the characters feel certainly seems to be real but perhaps it is all in their heads. For now they have to treat this as real and try to survive.

This is really the main backdrop for Kosuke and Natsumi trying to be friends again. Throughout the movie we slowly start to see more of the flashback of the final incident that caused them to drift apart. It takes a long while to actually see the scene but you do understand where it’s going fairly early on. A lot of the time it does tend to be Kosuke’s fault as he does tend to say things that he doesn’t mean and gets upset quickly. It felt like he went through many attempts of burning the bridge and often it came at little to no provocation.

He isn’t very good at the whole being a good friend thing. Kosuke is good at taking charge and doing what has to be done though. Jumping onto another building to find snacks was a good idea and he does his best with assuming command. Kosuke isn’t very mature most of the time but neither are most of the others since they’re just kids. There will be a lot of moments that make you cringe for sure but without Kosuke the others would have definitely been doomed.

The kid who is the most mature here is definitely Natsumi. While she makes a critical error near the end, for the most part she is the only one really keeping everyone together. She tries to keep the various personalities from destroying each other and absorbs most of the insults. I would have liked her to have fought back a little more though. She’s always being really mature and just internalizing everything but it also means that the other characters tend to consider it open season on her. Particularly Reina who was always picking fights.

Natsumi was definitely going through a whole lot here. Reina is probably the most petty member of the kids though. She is constantly picking fights in part because she is jealous of Natsumi and wants Kosuke all to herself. Reina is all too eager to blame everything on Natsumi for this reason and holds a grudge for a long time. She is fun for the film because that makes the dynamics more interesting but you would absolutely not want her to be on the ship with you.

Juri is her shy friend who is always around. She’s very timid at first but gradually taps into her inner confidence and does better. It was nice to see her taking charge and not just fading away into the background. I don’t think she got enough time to really be too much of a focus for the most part but either way I would say she was a good character. Taishi tended to get himself into trouble but he’s a friendly guy and someone who gets along well with everybody. He may not take things seriously most of the time but that does help to keep morale up.

Finally there is Yusuru who probably gets the biggest shaft out of all the characters. He doesn’t get to have a proper character arc or anything like that. He’s dependable and always around but that’s about it for him. Feels like the film needed an extra person for some of the stunts and that’s why he is around but otherwise the story didn’t have a role set up for him. That’s a shame but at least he wasn’t bad.

There is the mysterious Noppo kid who is constantly hanging around. He’s quiet and doesn’t do or say much until we get deeper into the film and then his role gets bigger. I wasn’t a big fan of his character, he tends to hold them all back a bit and is way too cryptic about everything. He definitely could have told the heroes more and that would have made the situation a lot easier on the rest of them. There wasn’t a good reason for him to hold back.

He’s also responsible for the main subplot that didn’t really add much to the experience. I still say we don’t need the whole veggie thing but I can’t say much more without spoilers. Lets just say the film introduces a whole concept of a bunch of people and this helps in part to explain the mystery of what happened but not in a super satisfying way. This is one of those films where the mystery itself is a lot more compelling than the resolution. It would have made a lot of sense to have had Natsumi be the conduit for taking everyone into the ocean world because she was unable to move on. This would directly be Kosuke’s fault in a lot of ways and that leads into their character arcs.

All these other characters just negate that to a large extent. The film also has a half dozen climaxes where it looks like things are going to end and then it keeps going. I always say that good films should be longer and bad films should be shorter but while this is a good film, it just started to feel its length. Ideally you don’t want a film to feel like it’s super long because by that point it means that some point of the immersion is gone.

Even the drama was a bit repetitive as it felt like Kosuke and Natsumi would make up, only to fall apart again, and then to repeat those steps over and over again. Even the flashbacks started to loop again. It’s a really good story beat of two old friends reuniting but the movie just didn’t seem to know how to stretch the plot on for too long. They didn’t have enough material for it or something like that.

The music was pretty solid here. I liked a few of the tunes and the animation isn’t bad. It’s nothing super high end or anything but it works well enough for the film. The technical aspects didn’t hold the film back or anything like that. The writing was good as well and the movie did a good job of having the kids find creative ways to survive. Perhaps some scenes may feel like a stretch for the kids but as long as it means they’re doing something I can be on board with that. The less time they spent panicking, the more time they had to be productive.

Overall, This was a good movie. I’d say that the length hurts the replay value and at the end of the day a bunch of kids will never be the most compelling set of characters. That said, the messages are good and the ending is solid. I always like when a film takes a stance on something instead of trying to have it both ways and so the final line was a great idea. Between that and the photos, the movie wasn’t copping out or anything like that. I’d say to check this movie out. It might even give you a bit of nostalgia for when you would hang out as a kid.

Overall 6/10

A Haunting in Venice Review

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I remember when the trailer for this film first came out. The idea of a horror mystery was a pretty interesting one since Poirot is usually very down to Earth. I suppose the catch is that you know there will be a logical explanation like in Scooby Doo but it would be fun to try and piece together what was happening the whole time. The movie does a good job of giving you hints as the adventure goes on. That said, you feel like the horror stuff is a bit of a distraction from the mystery and ends up weaking the experience.

The main character as always is Poirot here and the guy has retired from the spotlight after the last cases. He just wants to eat his pastries in peace but this is all broken when an old associate of his shows up and says that she wants Poirot to come to Venice. There are some spooky things going on within a haunted house there and she aims to write another book. This one will be about how even Poirot got stumped (Or her fictional detective stand in anyway) since she believes it’s all real. Poirot is not convinced and heads over to discredit the whole thing. Will he be able to find the proof in time?

As always you have a bunch of suspects here and everybody is running around causing chaos. I’d be with Poirot in this case as I definitely wouldn’t trust the medium. It’s like with hypnotists where I just roll my eyes at the whole thing. Yes, people can be hypnotized but it takes time and effort, you can’t just do it in a matter of minutes. Well when someone gets murdered Poirot is forced to lock the place down. He must find the killer, whether it be a person or a specter. The victim craves justice and Poirot will obtain this…or die trying! Does he have what it takes?

For sure you will see Poirot panicking a whole lot more than usual. He’s super jumpy and falls for quite a few of the jump scares. There is even one really embarrassing moment where his head is shoved into one of those apple bobs and he can’t get out. The fact that he nearly died there is crazy. The film made the mistake of showing us the hold for the apples earlier and it was a small stand. He could have at least kicked it out of the way even if he couldn’t somehow find his footing and get up. Honestly, not falling seems like it would be harder than falling in this case.

So he looks pretty bad for most of this I gotta say. Sherlock Holmes would have handled the situation many times better. The fact that the film has an explanation for it doesn’t fully absolve Poirot either. He just felt off his game in this one and to an extent you needed that in order for the plot to proceed. Usually things probably wouldn’t have gone to this level although I expect we’d still have a number of victims since that happens every time.

The visuals are really sharp as always. Venice is certainly no somewhere I’d ever want to live because that much water really doesn’t call to me but it still looks nice. The mansion was on point too and the various jump scares are handled well. Some are perhaps a little too obvious and you can see them coming a mile away, but it’s still nice to see because it’s just so foreign for a Poirot film.

Now lets talk about the suspects. First you have the twins Nicholas and Desdemona who have been working for the medium. They want to get to the United States and so that’s a pretty good motive to start bumping people off. They need money and they need it fast! Desdemona is a fun character in particular as she isn’t afraid to be throwing punches and slapping people. Get in her way and you may be doomed! Not as much to say on Nicholas but he’s fun enough. Both of them seem very loyal once you have won their trust but whether you are on their side or not is the real question.

Then we have the kid Leopold who claims to be able to talk to spirits. He’s one of those kids who seems to have all the answers but you also wonder if he may just be bluffing. He’s definitely the most annoying character though. They say that thinking you know everything can be worse than not knowing anything and this is one of those cases. He causes a whole lot of problems. Perhaps he is actually the one going around murdering everybody.

Next up is Joyce who claims to be able to talk with spirits and has built a whole business around it. When Poirot tries to call her out, she flips the situation back on him. She destroys him verbally and even puts on a mask and cloak before he can react. It’s clear that she has the upper hand at all times here so perhaps this is all personal and she is the ultimate villain of nightmares. You definitely can’t discount the possibility.

Ariadne is Poirot’s old contact and as an author maybe she needed to murder someone in order to get the plot going. She’s a very experienced player in these things so it is definitely possible that she lost her humanity at some point. Sometimes it just happens and since she knows Poirot so well, it could help her in deceiving him.

Rowena is the mother of the girl who died (Alice) and it’s because of her that everyone is assembled here in the first place. She wants to know which ghosts are haunting the halls and if Alice has anything to do with it. Perhaps losing her daughter has made her want to lash out at everybody. Perhaps she is the one who took her daughter out. You can’t really count anybody out.

There is Alice’s fiancé Maxime who is a big time chef. The guy called things off but perhaps that wasn’t the full story and he needed her out of the way. He’s a bit of an enigma and is always ready for a fight so the heroes have to watch out for him. Even if he’s not the guilty party, it’s possible that he will lash out here.

There is the doctor Leslie who suffers from some serious trauma and doesn’t always seem stable. It’s certainly possible that something happened which put him down the wrong path. I will also say this is where characters can look a bit too similar as he gets in a fight with one of the other characters and it’s hard to tell them apart mid fight. The film could have really stood to make the characters all stand out a bit better.

Finally you have the housekeeper Olga. The housekeeper is often a suspect in these things but she seems nice enough upon first glance. As you can see, there are a ton of suspects here and the problem with the horror stuff is that they can’t all be fleshed out as well as they could have been in a standard case. You also start to pay more attention to the scares than the actual mystery so even the final explanation at the end isn’t as gripping as it could have been.

All this is to say that compared to the average mystery I had a good amount of issues with it. That said, as a stand alone title it is still good and beats the average horror flick. I’m not all that into horror after all so in this way the mystery aspect of the film helped to elevate the horror parts. It was able to reach heights that it wouldn’t have otherwise been able to attain. The pacing is good and the film does keep your attention without a doubt.

Overall, The actual mystery takes a backseat to all the jump scares and horror shenanigans. That’s more or less what you would expect so I’m not saying that’s a terrible move or anything but I do think the film could have stood to focus on the mystery a bit more. The best parts of the film are when Poirot is interviewing everybody after all. Give me more of that and less scares and you would have the classic experience. It is a change of pace though and if you’ve seen the rest of the films then you should check this one out as well.

Overall 6/10

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Review

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I was never the biggest fan of Beetlejuice admittedly. It relies a bit too much on shocking humor and gross visuals. That said, it definitely beats the sequel which tried going a little too far into this direction. It had some good humor but for every fun joke, there was another cringe one thrown in. Definitely not the kind of movie that typically uses a whole lot of restraint. They even managed to squeeze in animal violence which I was completely not expecting.

The movie starts off with Lydia hosting her big spooky show where she helps people who need to see ghosts. Her daughter Astrid thinks it’s all fake and wants no part of this so the two have really fallen apart. They are forced back together though when Delia’s husband dies tragically out at sea and she wants everyone at the funeral. Lydia’s manager Rory figures this is his chance to marry her and Lydia has almost no free will of her own so she basically just says yeah. In the supernatural world Betelgeuse is making his move though as he is being chased by his ex-wife Delores and so now’s a good time to marry Lydia again.

He has spent years trying to get her attention and slowly she is starting to see visions of him in the real world. The boundary between life and death has never been weaker. Meanwhile Astrid meets an emotionless hack named Jeremy who is really eager to have a relationship and Astrid is lonely herself so she figures she may as well but she will have to try and keep her composure. Mustn’t show too much emotion herself. There’s definitely a lot going on here.

So right away one of the big issues here is how ugly everyone is in the spirit world. I know that’s part of the point with how you move to the next stage of existence with whatever injuries you died with but even so, this just felt like a bit much. You have people with live fish still eating them, a skeleton that’s constantly gushing out blood and a janitor that is pretty much mid vomit. You’re constantly waiting for the real world to return because every scene in the spirit world is just plain gross. It may be the film’s main gimmick but it definitely could have held back a decent amount here. You basically want to look away whenever they are in this world.

Then for no reason two chickens get eaten and there is quite a lot of violence everywhere. Putting in animals in any context had no purpose being here to be honest. It just doesn’t make any kind of sense so that was annoying. In the real world the characters may have always made the wrong decisions and so they weren’t easy to root for but at least nothing too crazy was happening on screen. Although lets dive into the characters now because they didn’t help the film much either.

First up is Delia who feels like a waste of a character. She’s just way too over the top the whole time with how far into the supernatural bubble she’s fallen into. Her scenes were rarely funny because of how exaggerated they were. then you have Jeremy who is annoying from the jump. It’s obvious that he is trying too hard to be the perfect match for Astrid and the fact that she is buying this at all is what will also have you shaking your head. Astrid is supposed to be the smart one except for when she’s not.

Although while Astrid makes her share of mistakes she could be worse. Lydia is 100X worse and her character has been thoroughly assassinated since the first film. She is so crushed by life that she is willing to let herself get married to Rory just because he asked her. She doesn’t actually love him but is going to go through with it anyway? That’s just terrible and no reasonable main character would ever do that. It’s a massive L against her character and throughout the movie she is being manipulated so easily. It’s easy to see why the family fell apart.

The film doesn’t give us much reason to even feel bad for her either. Since it’s part comedy, it’s not like Rory is even being subtle here. Lydia didn’t trust her feelings and that’s always going to lead you to disaster. As for Rory, well he’s your average villain. He does his job pretty well and considering that his plan would have succeeded if not for Betelgeuse I can’t even say it was a bad plan. It felt like a bad plan but it was working.

As for Betelgeuse, well he’s about as crazy as ever. He fears nothing and treats every part of life like it’s a joke. I suppose to him it is all just a big grand joke though so that makes sense. With his reality warping abilities he can defeat anyone as needed and only loses when he feels like it. It does make the film feel a bit aimless though since everyone is at the mercy of his whims. This even undercuts the main villain of the film.

Delores is the main villain here and she has the ability to suck the life out of someone. Honestly I think that plot point is the only reason why she was even added in the first place. At no point is she even a threat to Betelgeuse and the way she goes out is very lackluster. The film seemed to want to include some tension but couldn’t figure out a way to weaken Betelgeuse and so they just gave up halfway.

There is a lot going on throughout the movie and that’s a good thing I suppose but just about none of the plots have a satisfying conclusion. Everything is just jumbled together and none of the characters are interesting enough to hold their own. The only really fun character was the actor because I like over the top villains like him. That said, it’s not like the guy even did much. Then as far as the comedy is concerned, one of the only really good gags was when Betelgeuse took on Jeremy near the end. Beyond that, there were way more misses than hits this time around.

Overall, Beetlejuice couldn’t really manage to have a solid second film. This film comes across more distasteful than the first one and the film didn’t have enough of a focus. You don’t really get the whole plot of Betelgeuse wanting to marry Lydia because if he was serious about it then they would be married already. The fact that he even caused her to have a kid as a gag is crazy. I know you can just say it’s a comedy over and over again but there still needs to be some kind of a real plot to hold it together. I don’t see how the series can continue without Betelgeuse facing off against an actual threat. Or maybe just write him out, he was gone for large portions of this film anyway. Although…the film wasn’t much better for it so maybe I shouldn’t hold out much hope here.

Overall 3/10

The Painted Hills Review

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It’s time for another Lassie film and of course you know that means that the movie won’t be particularly good. Lassie movies tend to fall into the same holes time and time again. You want them to be good but deep down you just know that they won’t be. It’s unfortunate but that’s just how it goes. This one is another particularly weak installment and the whole time you’re waiting for Lassie to show up.

The film opens up with Jonathan and his dog Shep travelling through the mountains and finding a gold vein. They might be rich now! They head back to town to let Martha and her kid Tommy know but unfortunately a guy named Lin hears about it. Lin has always been a decent guy and he convinces Jonathan not to put a claim in just yet so they can make sure of what they’ve got first. Jonathan unfortunately listens to the guy and they head back up. Lin gets crazier and crazier about the gold until he finally murders Jonathan and decides to take it all for himself. He even poisons Shep and tries to bump him off. Will the guy face justice or is it all over for the heroes?

Obviously it’s sad for Jonathan but my main problem with the guy is that the whole thing is so obvious and predictable. How did he not suspect that Lin would do this? Lin was not hiding his greed at all. Not even for a microsecond was the guy staying sane after he saw the gold. He was quick to attack anybody and so Jonathan should have taken care of him sooner. Instead Jonathan talked about the rules of the mountain and how there was an honor code. A lot of good an honor code does you once you’re dead!

He had the foresight to give the kid Tommy the claim so that the government could get involved but still went up the mountain with Lin upon his request? That’s just not a smart move at all and it makes sense that he would be pushed. I’ll be less harsh with the dog Shep for eating the poison but to be honest even he should have known better. Lin is not someone who can be trusted and Shep knows pretty well that Lin is the one who bumped off his owner. This calls for drastic action, not simply going along with all of this. Shep does well in the end but it took a while to take care of Lin.

Tommy also didn’t look particularly good here. He knows for a fact that Lin bumped Jonathan off and tries to escape only to hit his head really hard and get gaslit into basically staying silent and not saying anything for a while. Tommy handled the situation as poorly as possible and it was all pretty disgraceful. I expected much better from the kid but he disappointed me in the end. I know he’s just a kid but we’re talking life or death here, you can’t be letting yourself go down so easily. At the very least he could have said that Lin was trying to murder him and beating him in a more convincing way.

Even punch yourself real quick if that’s what it takes and leave a bruise or something. The other adults were slow to believe him which is annoying but makes sense with Tommy shooting himself in the foot the whole time. As for Lin, well he definitely didn’t cover his tracks well so he shouldn’t have even lasted as long as he did. He’s just lucky that things kept on working out for him but the film can’t say it was so lucky. At the end of the day we had to go through more animal violence here as Lassie is poisoned and shot at.

The dogs always have a really rough time of it and while some of the other Lassie films have been more violent, this one’s still going too far. No reason Shep should have to go through all of this and the film as a whole isn’t super interesting. I’ve seen better films about people being corrupted due to the gold. In this case I wouldn’t even say it is corrupted though as the guy seemed shady from the start. The gold was just his excuse to get really crazy about the whole thing.

The first red flag should have been the whole reason not to put in a claim. He talks about how other people would go to the mountains to dig and ignore the law anyway. Sure that might happen but at least you’ve got the law on your side and by the time other people discover the spot you should have gotten most of the gold anyway. It didn’t feel like a real argument although Jonathan believed it so I suppose there had to be something to it.

The guy was just too trusting. Even with how casual he was about another guy walking over and helping himself to things within the house. Apparently on the mountains it is a tradition where this one guy will show up to cook a good meal and then leave. While Lin’s response was off the rails crazy, I would be a bit weirded out as well if someone was just randomly in my house. Back in the days of everybody carrying guns, I could see this being fatal real quickly as well. You don’t know what’s going on and only have half a second to react after all.

Overall, The Painted Hills is a film I would definitely avoid. None of the characters are smart at all and fall for the easiest traps. Once you are on a horse there’s no way a villain should catch you and yet Tommy manages to find a way. Lin should have been taken out way sooner and needs all the plot armor in the world to stay on top. Not a very good look for him at all. There’s also the whole irony of Lassie not even being in the film since Shep is a descendent. A very odd choice without a doubt. I don’t think the film would have been good either way but it doesn’t help matters.

Overall 3/10

Trading Christmas Review

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It’s time for one of those films about house swapping and I’ve never been crazy about the idea. I just don’t trust people at all so I feel like the instant I do one of these, I would lose some things. Things would mysteriously disappear and I would never see them again. That’s a really scary prospect so I would just be too emotional to go along with it. For the people who Air B&B they’re probably thinking I’m crazy though. It is what it is.

The dual main characters are Emily and Charles here. For Emily, she was looking forward to spending Christmas with Heather but her ungrateful daughter has decided to go on a date with Jason instead and will be spending the holidays with him. Emily figures that she can fly over to surprise Heather and dashes over only to find out that Heather snuck away to another state without telling her. Not a very nice thing to do here and now what is Emily supposed to do with herself. She’s alone at Christmas?? The horror of it all. That’s when she bumps into Ray, a good friend of the guy she is borrowing the apartment from and a fast romance starts.

From the 3 plots this is probably the one where you are the most sympathetic to the lead. Emily is just trying to spend quality time with her daughter and the whole surprise visit seems like a fun idea. What are the odds Heather would just switch states right? It’s also rough to lose traditions so suddenly and without warning like this. It’s just tough and that’s why you can’t really buy into the romance here because it seems like Ray caught her at a very vulnerable time. Additionally the 180 to Emily suddenly not being interested in traditions and such was pretty rough. It was all so sudden and I guess in the end it’s like nobody wins.

Ray is nice enough but again the romance is all just so fast and contrived. He should have stayed in his lane and not made a pass at someone who is just renting the apartment for a few days. In theory once she left he would never see her again unless they got really serious about each other really quickly which doesn’t seem like such a good idea. You don’t really know the other person at that point.

Then we have the plot with Heather and Jason which is the weakest one. The whole time it seemed to be building up to a choice of regret where Jason just wasn’t a great guy and they were going to break up as she realized that traditions are good. He lets his friends crash in on their date and kept making the worst decisions possible. He wasn’t even interested in watching her old wonderful place movie. Well eventually they head back and it turns out that he’s a decent dude but the whole plot felt like a bit of a wash. It just didn’t have much of a purpose here. I’d say Heather had a purpose, but not so much Jason except to be a red herring here.

Finally we have the plot with Charles and Faith which was easily the most entertaining. So Charles is an author who writes a ton of books and he is trying to have a quiet place to focus. So that kind of works and he has a spot now except that Faith shows up because she was actually trying to surprise Emily which didn’t work out. The problem is that she terrifies Charles so he runs around crying the whole time about how she is distracting him and being a big baby about the whole thing.

There’s a lot of banter here throughout as a result and Faith really does good on her end like with keeping the neighbors out and even making food. I was on her side the whole time because Charles was often panicking about nothing and was also way too defensive about his books. The guy could stand to learn how to accept some constructive criticism. He eventually does but the plot takes a bit longer than it should have. Once again you have a hard time seeing just why the romance would start here. Maybe if Charles had been a bit nicer from the start there could have been a chance.

Of course then there would be less witty banter so I suppose I would miss that part. Charles just thinks too highly of himself and generalizes everyone which Faith calls him out on. At least now his next books will end up being better. The movie did a good job of balancing these 3 films the whole time. It felt like there was way more of a story here than I would have expected otherwise. The movie isn’t even that long and yet it paces everything well so it gets full kudos for that. You don’t feel like any plot got the short end of the stick.

Heather’s certainly has the least amount of screentime but that makes sense because it’s not like her house was one of the ones that was swapped. At most you could say that with more screentime they could have set things up a bit better to establish that she was trying to have it both ways a bit too much with ditching traditions while still following others and that would help her realize that she really wasn’t nice to her mother at all. A good redemption arc would be nice since she was so petty the whole time.

Overall, Trading Christmas definitely doesn’t change my mind on why I wouldn’t want to ever trade houses/apartments even just for a week or so. I would have real security issues but naturally it does make for a very good movie plot. This movie is charming and fun throughout the whole adventure with good writing and pacing the whole time. Often times you can expect maybe 2 main plots at most but 3 in this Christmas adventure was really taking things to the next level and I was really impressed to see it. The bar was set high here without a doubt. If you’re up for a fun Christmas title then you definitely won’t want to miss out on this.

Overall 7/10

Fallen Angel Review

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It’s time for one of those really dramatic Christmas titles. This time around I can safely say that the romance is super weak though to the point of taking a star away. It just doesn’t make sense and it takes so long for the two leads to really get to the same page that the credits start rolling as they make up. Ehhhhh it’s one of those cases where they should have stayed as friends.

The movie introduces us to Terry who had a rough time growing up since his father was super busy and never really had a lot of time for him. Terry had a lot of resentment about this and swore not to make the same mistake when he grew up. That’s not quite how it went though as he is now working in a big company without much downtime and hasn’t even met a girl yet. Well, he is called down to his old home to shut the place down since his father died but his dad had already promised the place to a lady named Katherine who was renting out the place to show her daughter Olivia.

It might be tough going back down memory lane but Terry is ready for this. Then he finds out that Katherine is actually the little girl who visited the place a long time ago when her father struck someone with a car who died and then he wandered off into the forest and died shortly afterwards. The whole thing was so long ago and tragic that she just doesn’t remember and when Terry finds out that her father is still alive, he forbids Terry from mentioning this. Terry is keeping a whole lot of secrets now and then he falls for Katherine. Can he keep up this relationship in the midst of all these secrets?

The obvious answer here should be no. Also, since he is renting out the house I would imagine that having a relationship with a client is a really bad idea. Not really something you should be doing if you have a clear head on your shoulders. Katherine gets really upset at him later on for this and it’s for really good reason. I don’t see how you could keep on going after this because it’s such a big deal. The fact that she was here before isn’t as big a deal to be honest but the dead father thing is massive.

I get why it would be hard to show up out of nowhere after so long but the Dad should have appeared and if not, Terry should have still mentioned this. If he wasn’t interested in Katherine romantically then sure he could have decided not to say anything but I would say that by this point it was definitely his obligation. It’s just too serious and personal not to say anything. Then the fact that Terry was about to dash off and everything until at the last second turning around…not his best moment.

As for Katherine, I thought she was okay but also moving too fast on everything. I feel like I would definitely cancel my appointment at the hut if the guy in charge died. I don’t know the new owner enough to trust him so why take the risk? That would be a full refund and I’d just check out another spot. She also got really emotional by the end and I get that the betrayal was rough but it still felt like she could have handled things a little better.

The hospital subplot about the father leaving gifts every year to try and make things better was nice though. There was a common element here about the father of both main characters caring a lot but having a hard time showing it. For Terry it was too late since he died but at least for Katherine she will be able to mend the relationship now and get the family going again. So definitely a happier ending there but again it could have worked better without the romance here.

I gotta give the film credit for trying to give us a true life or death moment in the film though. At one point Terry has to go into the water in order to rescue the boat and we get the serious music as the water rages on. Katherine’s daughter Olivia is blind so she has to try and keep her daughter safe while saving Terry and getting the boat going. It was maybe trying a bit too hard on the film’s part to really get the blood pumping and all but it was a scene I wasn’t really expecting so I give it some credit for that.

Even the whole “Father faking his death” angle was a pretty solid mystery on the film’s part. You may figure it out by the time of the reveal but maybe not, I thought the movie showed good restraint in keeping it from being too obvious. Naturally I will say that faking your death is almost never a good idea and this is another example of that. It may be really hard to show yourself but you’ve really got to take that leap and just get it over with. Once you have a family, it’s selfish to just ditch them like that. Feel free to fake your own death if you’re on your own but otherwise it’s definitely a no go.

Overall, Fallen Angel is a good movie but it needed a little something more to the plot to really make it memorable. Maybe more supporting characters or something back with Terry’s plot like the company calling for him back. That could have added some drama on him being in a rush to get back. The film isn’t super long or anything but even then it felt like there wasn’t a whole lot of story for the film to get through. It’s a good title but doesn’t hold up with most of the other Christmas titles. Check it out if you want some solid drama though.

Overall 6/10