Category Archives: Reviews

Timecop Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a time travel title and those always tend to be pretty good. It’s a concept that brings a lot of interesting ideas with it and this one is no exception. My favorite time travel system is where interacting with the past creates a new timeline rather than immediately changing the future but they all have their merits. This one is a good action title that ends up being satisfying in the end.

The movie starts off with someone at the government revealing that time travel has been discovered. He now wants a federal agency to monitor it and senator Aaron agrees with this. So the bureau is created and Max joins after his wife was blown up in a home invasion. He is not allowed to go back in time and save her because of ethics and butterfly effects even though it happened rather recently. That said, many people are changing time and this is becoming a big deal so Max brings those people to justice. There seems to be a ringleader at the top of this though and Max needs to find out who it is immediately.

Naturally you probably know what I’m going to say here. Max should go ahead and save his wife immediately. There are several reasons for this. The first and most important reason is that the instant we have time travel, there is no longer any guarantee on what the correct timeline is. There’s no way to tell if someone has already gone to the past and changed things. Perhaps a butterfly effect happened a while back and that’s why his wife died. So I would say Max is absolutely obligated to save her life. That’s absolutely how this should work.

The second reason ties in which is that people don’t remember the previous timeline anyway. That’s also why it is so dangerous because everyone’s memories are automatically reset so they think this is how things always were. So when Max saved his wife then that’ll just be how it always was. No harm no foul. Some might push back against this but that’s always been my frame of mind for these things. When time travel is on the table then anything goes.

Max is a solid main character though. He’s good at his job and a solid fighter all around. He takes down quite a few enemies over the course of the movie. He can get a little sloppy though like the way he was taken out by the villains at the beginning of the movie. You’d just think that he would be more on guard due to his line of work. Even once he has the element of surprise near the end it’s a little closer than you’d figure it should be. I won’t fault him for the way the tables turn during the earlier climax since there are only so many contingency plans you can have when a traitor is involved.

The main villain Aaron is decent. He’s not anything to write home about but I like how direct the guy was about his goals. He wants to be the President of the United States and will do whatever it takes in order to achieve that goal. He’s a very determined guy and thanks to the time travel we get to see just how much more corrupt and bold he has gotten over the years. He makes his original self look super tame in comparison.

Sarah is someone who you feel gets off rather easy during the film. Yes she has her reasons and everything but ultimately she came up short when it counted. The timeline shifting isn’t enough to make her blameless here. I’d definitely have switched up her final scene a bit. I’d also argue that she should either have her memories back or be gone from the current timeline based on how the logic works.

Meanwhile the head of the department seemed really out of his league here. He is extremely slow on the uptake about the idea of the timeline changing. Why? Shouldn’t that be required reading in his position? Every time Max would try to explain something the guy would look at him like he was nuts. Yes it makes for good comedy but it didn’t really make sense in context. Even if he may not believe Max in the end, he should at least have considered the possibility right away.

Ah well, this is why Max has to carry the agency. They would be absolutely doomed without him and the villains would just go ahead and keep on changing the past. You can only squeeze so much into a single movie at least but the rest of the agents really do nothing. At best they just get shot while running around which buys Max another second or two. Max is the only one actually doing any real detective work.

Timecop is one of those classic 90s films that has a fun tone and good amount of action the whole time. We get some good banter and one liners as well. It’s a film that is having a lot of fun throughout the journey even while making time for a lot of serious moments and good fight scenes. It’s very well balanced and most importantly, it’s a really fun film. It’s the kind of title you can easily rewatch down the line because it all ends up aging well.

Overall, Timecop is a pretty good film. Being in charge of regulating time is an absolutely massive responsibility and it would definitely be a stressful job. You don’t envy Max for having to put up with it the whole time. While there are some sci-fi phenomenon like teleporting that I think will be true in the future, I don’t think we will ever get time travel. Seems unlikely to me but at least in the meantime we have all kinds of fun films like this one. There’s so much you can do with the concept that this should have gotten a bunch of sequels.

Overall 7/10

Morning Glory (1933) Review

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Morning Glory is one of those films where you question the overall point of it midway. It’s a classic journey about corruption and how hard show biz is but the main character holds the whole thing back. That does tend to happen a lot but since she folds almost immediately, there isn’t a whole lot of drama here. You know that she won’t be able to make a difference in the industry and so the usual drama just isn’t there.

The movie starts off by introducing us to a pathological liar named Eva. She is really determined to succeed in Hollywood but doesn’t have a lot of confidence and so she just lies about everything on instinct. Anything to give her a slight edge but it’s not really working. She eventually manages to crash a hiring session and make some influential acquaintances but then she fails in her first big show. Will she be able to still become a success?

Eva is a bit too naive for this world and the problem is that losing this trait will almost inevitably carry with it some big penalties. For example she is able to get back into the limelight briefly after getting super drink and having an affair with Louis for a night but that doesn’t help redeem her as a character at all. Instead it’s just another reason to show why she wasn’t ready for this level of competition. It may be something that a lot of would be Hollywood stars go through but she should have fought off the trend.

Getting drunk isn’t really an excuse that I ever tend to accept. Just don’t get drunk in the first place if you know that your true intentions are not going to be the best. It also feels like Eva’s delusions make her not practice or study nearly as hard as she should. She always comes across as incredibly unprepared which should not be the case when this is her passion.

I much preferred Rita who may have been super stuck up but knew her worth. She called Louis’ bluff at one of the shows and stormed out. It’s hard to say who will win in the long term but she is apparently till quite famous so I get the feeling that she will be just fine. As for Louis, he will probably do okay as well but the guy probably can’t count on someone like Eva to bail him out long term. So Rita was fun because she could stand up to the others and wasn’t going to break down at the first sign of trouble.

Louis is another character I don’t like. Obviously he should have been able to control himself when Eva was drunk. The guy is supposed to be a professional and has been in the business long enough to know better. So no sympathy for him later on when he was feeling awkward. Joseph isn’t much better either as the guy knows a lot of what’s going on and never gives Eva any proper heads up. He liked her so he needed to step up. Although I don’t blame him for taking a back seat once she was fooling around with Louis. At that point he may as well run off.

There aren’t really any big characters to root for here though which shows how aimless the film was. To an extent it is really about Eva failing over and over again until she gets her big break. Yes she manages to pull it off but at a great cost as she now has a lot of ammo to be blackmailed with eventually. Additionally, she just doesn’t seem to have the skills to remain as a main star. We don’t even know how she really succeeded in this role since everything we saw earlier would have implied that she’d be a big failure on the big screen.

Another problem here is that the big scene is about Eva getting drunk and making a fool of herself at a party. It seems to be meant to be impressive as the characters mention that she would be a huge hit if she could perform like that when she wasn’t drunk. It didn’t seem all that impressive to me though and if anything I’d be feeling second hand embarrassment if I was at that party. It’s why you never want to have too much alcohol at a party because inevitably there will be someone there who is a lightweight and ends up getting too drink. That’s bound to be a big problem. Not that any of these corrupt characters would really mind I suppose.

I guess the bright side you can probably say is that all of these negative movies about getting into show business probably did keep people from making rash decisions in order to be a star. Ditching your home town and everything in order to shine is definitely not the right play because then you’re already in a vulnerable spot. It’s had to negotiate for a great role and high pay when the other side knows how desperate you are. If Eva had a good manager and more skills then she probably could have fared a bit better. Alas, she went in without any real experience or connections and got trampled by the business.

Overall, Morning Glory is not a film I’d recommend checking out. It does have that retro tone that I enjoy with a fun script and good writing but it is really hard to succeed without a strong cast. A noir film could pull it off due to the really engaging story going on but a romance drama? That’s going to be a really uphill battle and this one was not able to pull it off. You can definitely do better within the genre.

Overall 4/10

Sutte Hakkun Review

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It’s time for a puzzle title but unfortunately this is not one of the top tier ones. The mechanics are interesting to be sure but I wouldn’t say that they are all that good. They get old pretty fast and so you are unlikely to go through all of the puzzles in the game. Kudos to whoever pulls it off though. The puzzles are really difficult too so it’s not like you can just dive through them either. This is not a game for the faint of heart as you will have to keep on thinking hard all the way through.

The main goal of the game is to reach a rainbow gem in each level. In order to get to this gem you have to use your blood sucking skills to alter blocks. Each block in front of you can be made to move in different directions based on the kind of energy that you give it. Yellow goes diagonally while blue goes up for example. You can jump on top of blocks but can’t inject colors while in mid air. A lot of the puzzles involve timing so you want to be careful on the order of when you do things. That is absolutely important here.

If you make a mistake and get stuck you can always reset the level. Each level is a one room puzzle so at least you don’t have to back track a lot if you lose. Each world has 10-15 levels within it. Once you complete the levels in a world then you move on to the next one. You also don’t have to play through the levels fully chronologically either. You can mix and match as some puzzles might be easier for you to solve than others. Due to the way puzzles work in general, you may find that later ones are easier than the one you’re stuck at.

Although I don’t imagine that will be the case forever. As the worlds go on, even the weakest puzzle will probably still beat the strongest from a previous world. The setup really allows for a ton of difficulty jumps with how many blocks are in play at once. I very quickly got conquered myself. These puzzles were more than I was prepared for and I can say that with absolute confidence here.

The sheer amount of levels is super impressive. The game has at least 60-70 but it is probably over 100. Thinking of that many puzzles in general is already impressive. I always thought that had to be one of the most difficult things about game design because you have to come up with a puzzle that works without there being a way to break it and solve without following the right steps. Of course some games may allow that but in general the devs don’t want you to cheese the solutions. They want you to actually solve the puzzles which is the entire point of the game right?

The graphics aren’t bad although they are nothing to write home about. It’s a very basic kind of art style that works well for a minimalist kind of game like this. The screen is always clear and only basic colors are used. You’re ether into that kind of thing or you’re not. If you’re not then this could be a very long experience for you. The soundtrack is not really going to be popping off either. So you’re really here for the gameplay all the way through. If you don’t enjoy the gameplay then I don’t see how you will be able to enjoy any other part of the title.

Overall, Sutte Hakkun is a very unique game. I have to give it full points on creativity here. You are unlikely to see another game that is quite the same as this one. Unfortunately it is an example of a game not being able to get by on creativity alone. It’s just not all that fun by the end of it and that’s considering that I didn’t play through all of the levels. This is a game that has a massive amount of content so you can give the devs credit there. To someone who finds the gameplay to be very fun, they will have an excellent time all around. As for me, I’ll wait for the next Mario title.

Overall 4/10

Ridge Racer 64 Review

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It’s time for the next Nintendo Switch Online title. Ridge Racer definitely works as a serviceable racing game even if it is one that you will probably not remember for very long. Nothing against the game itself of course but there just isn’t a lot to it. I imagine it was probably super addicting back in the day though and will still hold up with the multiplayer mode. One thing I do miss about the older racing titles like this are all the fun colors and designs.

The game has the main grand prix mode and you can also play the races on their own. Each Grand Prix is 3 levels long but the levels quickly start repeating as you go through them. Interestingly the levels don’t automatically advance like in most games so you have to physically choose the next level each time. Not a big deal but it’s definitely very noticeable. The levels can also be rather difficult to win at times because the computers really put up a good fight. You’ll have a huge lead and then they just appear by your side like nothing happened.

Then you’ve also got the opposite scenario where you start the race and they immediately leave you in the dust. In those cases it isn’t even close as their gap widens and widens with each passing second. My main car was the Pac-Man car so it was pretty slow but the acceleration was absolutely top tier. I usually like to have a high speed but I knew this was the car I needed because of the design. How do you say no to that right? There aren’t a whole lot of cars to choose from but I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of them are unlockable or something like that. That would make a lot of sense.

Like I mentioned before, the graphics are really good. It reminds me of an old PC car game I used to play back in the day. The colors are striking and there is a lot of variety in how you can change the colors of the car you used. I like this level of customization and it’s actually better than some modern car games so that is definitely worth noting. The soundtrack is a bit more on the forgettable side but you can’t win them all.

The controls are smooth and that is definitely crucial for a racing game like this. When you crash or make a bad turn, you immediately feel like it was your own fault and so the game doesn’t just generate a ton of the blame there or anything like that. You can always brake for the turns to play it safe or you can really master your vehicle and just go in guns blazing. You can drift by double tapping the brake button but it is definitely hard to control. For the most part as long as you drive careful then you should win the first pair of tournaments. After that you have to really focus on not making any mistakes at all or you end up paying for it. That is of course easier said than done

It will probably help if you pick a car that has top tier handling and such but that comes at the expense of speed and I never like playing a slow car. This is true for any game, I’d much rather crash and burn out early than end up slowly turtling my way to the finish line. The slow cars wouldn’t be in the game if they were completely useless of course but even then they would have to make an absolutely terrific argument for me to even consider them. That’s just not the way that I roll.

Overall, Ridge Racer 64 is a good game. It doesn’t have a ton of bells and whistles or anything like that. There aren’t many modes at all so what you see is what you get. Just being a good game is enough at the end of the day though. I had a fun time playing through it and look forward to seeing what Nintendo brings to the table next time. There are still a whole lot of options I’m sure and then maybe they can eventually throw the Gamecube console into the mix. I think it’s about time for that personally. If you have the Switch Online then there is no reason not to try this game out. Race through it a bit and enjoy the nostalgia.

Overall 6/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Review

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As someone who does not like tomatoes I can confirm that one of my greatest fears would definitely be having to go toe to toe with one of them. If these guys bite as strongly as they taste then it would be all over for me. The film does a good job of poking fun at the concept while also getting in some terrifying moments. I would definitely recommend this one.

The film starts off with a lady getting murdered by a tomato. When the cops show up to check out the damage, one of them immediately notices that the “blood” is actually tomato juice. After this point the tomatoes launch an all out assault against humanity. Their numbers are considerable and for the most part the humans are powerless against them. They even have cherry tomatoes on their side. Will the humans be able to mount a proper counter offensive or is it game over for them?

This movie effectively takes shots at a whole lot of different story beats and groups. For starters the government doesn’t look very good here as their so called experts are completely out of their depth the whole time. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing and this only gets more and more evident as the film goes on. Their meeting rooms simply aren’t big enough for them and even their best agents trip up when the going gets the tough. The master of disguise actually made it pretty far but ultimately even he faltered when it counted. Trust me it was not a proud moment for that guy.

You may even end up rooting for the tomatoes here because of their fun sound effect. It’s really hype whenever they show up. The sound in and of itself isn’t creepy or anything but it’s with the context of knowing that the tomatoes are back. They even toy with the humans like at one point where they surround someone’s car and then calmly roll away. He really got off easy that time and they were effectively giving him a warning. The Tomatoes just took it a little too easily that time. If they had been serious then the film would be over.

Naturally the special effects for the film aren’t particularly good. There are a lot of cutaways so we don’t really get to see much of anything. The tomatoes themselves are just ordinary tomatoes for 90% of the screentime. I would have liked to have seen them grinning and running around more but the film didn’t really have the budget for that. The overt cheapness of the film is part of what makes it all fun though. This film is a parody that is really being as silly as possible.

Now of course in any film with a ton of jokes, there will be a bunch that absolutely don’t land. This film is no exception to that. For example you have Lois who is trying to make a name for herself but her skills aren’t all that great. So she gets desperate enough to consider her boss’ advice which was not good from the start. We also get a last second romance and so those scenes were pretty rough the whole time.

Fortunately the good ones easily overshadowed those. For example we also had Clark Kent show up as well as a good Superman gag at one point which was really good. We got the classic “up up and away” moment which was really inspired. There was also a kid and his dog although they didn’t do so well in the fight. The film had plenty of good references and little moments here and there that enhanced the movie.

There was also the whole plot regarding the white house’s chief of communications. The guy gets embarrassed early on during the Q&A and then we actually get some repercussions from that later on. His plan had been unfolding for a while but I’m sure this helped speed it up. The betrayal was really good. The scene had a lot of tension to it and good development. I was almost more invested in this plot than the tomatoes for a minute there.

The movie is fairly short but even then you enjoyment here will be based on how much you enjoy the main gag of the Tomatoes. Will you find it to be too silly or just the right amount of fun and exciting? Everything hinges on that because at the end of the day this is not a serious thriller or anything like that. Technically the body count is rather high and by the end a ton of people are dead but it’s not like the tone is going to reflect that. This is meant to be a really happy film all the way around and it succeeds on that angle.

I tend to enjoy some quality silly humor so this is up my alley. There was even a quick song by the corporate guy helping on PR which was out of nowhere but pretty intense. The singing voice wasn’t half bad and the lyrics are of course the main highlight. This guy showed that you can be great at business and still find time to sing a quick tune. So the quality song helps to make up for a lack of a big soundtrack, although it’s not like I would have expected a grand soundtrack for this film anyway.

Now lets imagine that the film was played seriously for a moment. I think the way you would do it is that the tomatoes move at high speeds. They would keep slamming into people and the sheer concussive force would knock them out. Maybe the main character is a cook so he is able to slice them apart when they show up. You could still have an end of the world plot with ease but the question is how many audiences would take it seriously anyway. And if you know that they wouldn’t, well that’s why you do the parody instead.

Overall, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a film that I’ve looked forward to for a long while now and I can definitely say that it lived up to the hype. This is a fun film with an original story. It has a large variety of gags so you are bound to like some of them. From there is just depends on how many you did not like. If it’s a small number then we have a winner. I’ll be curious to see how good the sequels are but it will be hard to beat the original. It’s one of those premises that you probably don’t want to overdo. It’s why I really liked the stinger at the end which showed off the new villains coming up. That has a ton of potential right there.

Overall 7/10

DC Heroes United Review

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Having fun yet? That’s what you’re always supposed to think about when playing a mobile game. A console game can get away with being boring for a few hours but a mobile game needs to click immediately or you’re just gonna uninstall it. There are too many alternatives to find yourself settling for anything. At least if you ask me that would not be worth it. Fortunately this one is really good and easily one of the best mobile games that I’ve played.

DC Heroes United uses the same gameplay style as Vampire Survivor. You have to try and survive for 10 minutes while the field is completely overrun by monsters. Mini bosses show up every 3 minutes while one big boss shows up at the halfway point and at 10 minutes. You have to defeat them in order to clear the stage. Each stage has 3 difficulty levels and 3 missions per level. In order to unlock the next stage you need to beat all 3 missions on the first difficulty level and then just survive 10 minutes on the second level. It’s definitely nothing too crazy in terms of requirements. I would recommend completing as many missions as possible though because the rewards are worth it.

The game feels like a bit of a mystery though because it feels like nobody is playing it. I’ve tried checking online to see any activity and people mainly just talk about the episodes. One guy started writing a guide but then his phone stopped being supported and he vanished. The company itself doesn’t really try to help either in terms of getting the word out. I’m sure they’re busy but showing the game off would help with improving the playerbase. The whole thing just feels like a black box the whole time. There isn’t even any kind of leaderboard system to know how many people are keeping up with you. It just becomes a large scale mystery or if the other players are robots or not. There are technically a lot of people voting on the episode choices since I spend a few hundred picks and still get beaten badly but how legit are those votes? With 0 transparency it’s hard to say.

The ability to watch all of the episodes on the app is pretty cool. I’ve seen all the episodes so far but I’ll go into that on a TV show review once it’s done. For the game, I naturally like the gameplay since I love this style. That said, it does have a bit of a balancing issue. I’ve completed all of the previous levels and almost all of the missions but I die almost instantly on the latest level. This doesn’t make sense because I’m level 90 out of a possible 100. That just seems like a crazy amount of power creep to me. I’ve been wondering how the game will deal with that and it’s finally reached this point. It will be interesting to see what the devs do because they have put themselves into a bit of a hole here.

I think maybe they need more customization and methods of attack to spice things up. Give us more to use our resources on and more stages or modes to play in. The game is seriously lacking in content right now. The fact that I’m already in “Endgame” definitely says a whole lot. I know the show is the main priority which is why the mobile game doesn’t have any kind of a story mode but in theory the money would be made through the game so you need to make it worth your while. The game has some absolutely insane prices for the item packs and gems in the game. I would never even consider it but even the whales will need some reason to buy it.

At the time of writing this review I have already cleared well over half of the game’s entire accomplishments. So not only am I done with all of the stages except the last one, unlocked all the characters, own legendary armor for all types, but even the career accomplishments are nearly done. The game needs to add some things in quick or I might literally 100% the game at some point the way I did with Miraculous Ladybug. It’s fun to complete a game but for mobile titles the point is to usually not have an ending. You’re not supposed to give the player a reason to ever put the game down.

The soundtrack is pretty nonexistent. Definitely not a strength for the title. The graphics are pretty decent. The game isn’t trying to do anything fancy though so the character models are small but I’ll take what I can get. This is really a game about having fun surviving and so you don’t need a whole lot of processing power for that. This title still doesn’t match Vampire Survivor on pretty much anything but I am glad that the genre is getting more games because it really has a whole lot of potential.

Overall, This game is still relatively new. You can bet that they will be adding more characters and stages but I’m hoping they add them sooner than later. A mobile game needs to avoid having large droughts and the fact that this game has already done the same event 3 times is concerning. I don’t think they thought things through here. The two biggest things the game could do would be to start adding content fast and to add some kind of leaderboard system. We need an interactive part to the game to get everyone’s competitive spirits going. Once we all can see who is ahead of us, it’ll be a whole lot more exciting.

Overall 8/10

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII Review

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After all these years I finally got to play through the legendary Lightning Returns game. I remember this one being pretty controversial when it came out and after playing it through I can see why that is the case. In a lot of ways it does invalidate parts of the first two games as well as putting the characters through a ton of grief for a very long time. Even with a reasonably happy ending….although a very mixed one, it’s not going to erase those memories. It is an epic story though and one that will keep you at the edge of your seat.

We start off in the future where the world is coming to an end. In 7 days it shall be no more. So the god of the multiverse awakens Lightning to be reborn as his herald. She is to save as many worthy souls as possible by achieving their heart’s desires. Then those survivors will make up the citizens of the new world and Lightning will rule alongside him as a goddess. She only agrees to help in exchange for bringing her sister back to life. This god agrees but is he really being straight forward with her? That remains to be seen.

The whole 7 days thing may make you a bit nervous and I’m afraid that your fears would be well founded. This game uses a day system similar to Pikmin. The minutes go by in real time as one second is roughly equivalent to one minute. As a result the days go by quickly. You have to complete 5 main quests within the 7 day period. This is a true open world game so you can do the quests in any order except for the 5th quest which requires you to complete half of quest 4 first. You can use your time abilities to freeze time temporarily but at the cost of your EP. This is a big deal because the EP is how you use your most powerful abilities within the game and you can’t actively gain any items to recover it. (You can get a 1-2 ethers in the game but that’s it. You can only recover it by defeating enemies or going forward to the next day. Of course with the enemies you typically recover EP very slowly and often times you will lose more time than it is worth.

If you are not able to beat the quests within the 7 days then you go back to the beginning of the game and get to start over. You do keep your stats and equipment (minus key items) though which is handy. Still, you lose all story and mission progress. I was not able to beat the game on my first try so I did have to go back and beat the game again. This time the final boss was not too bad, the Ultima weapon is an absolute must though. I was able to beat him with just 2 EP since I was rushing but with the full 9 set it would have been really easy without a doubt. Of course if you tell anybody that they have to play the game twice they’re going to give you a look.

It’s the one thing keeping this game from being an easy 9. I just can’t support the day system because it forces you to rush a lot. This is a pretty big game with a lot of content and it’s annoying having to skip so many quests and things to do. It doesn’t feel like good game design even if that is the purpose of the overall plot. Completing a lot of side quests can increase the 7 days to 13 but even then it’s ultimately not going to be enough to do everything unless you plan it perfectly with a guide or something. That’s really your only bet.

So that was unfortunate. The story is really interesting like I said before though. I feel bad for the characters as some had to live for centuries in the worst timeline imaginable but at least the ending itself finally brings back some hope. It’s a very depressing game in a lot of ways as we see how futile the first two games were. That is still a little hard to come to terms with but I give this game a lot of credit for really going there. It did not pull any punches at all as the heroes really had to contend with what happened. We also got a ton of homages and references to the first two games which was nice. It helped to tie this all together as a full trilogy.

Meanwhile the graphics are really good as you would expect. All of the characters look solid and I definitely enjoyed the special effects. The full cinematics are all really good and of course the soundtrack is on point too. I wouldn’t say it beats the original 13 but you’re bound to find some tunes that you enjoy here. There is a wide variety of tunes after all so the numbers are really in your favor.

The main game took me around 40 hours counting both playthroughs so there’s a lot of content here. Technically speaking it would be one of the quickest Final Fantasy titles if you were to speed run through this but I feel like most people are going to need 2 playthroughs to actually save the world. Having those extra stats from two runs is just so important since the final boss has 4 different phases and hits like a tank. You also have a hard cap of 12 recovery items so it’s not like you can just store a bunch of potions either. The game is made so that you have to make a whole lot of difficult choices.

Finally I’ll also give the game some credit for having multiple paths for several quests. For example on your first playthrough you tend to have to follow the rules. There are some stealth missions and you have to be careful not to get caught or you’re quickly murdered by the cult followers. On the second playthrough I just went ahead and attacked them all and it worked out since my stats were so high. I was breezing through everybody and you really feel like a goddess in that second playthrough.

Overall, Lightning Returns is controversial and rightfully so. The game played around with some mechanics that weren’t quite winners like the day system. The fact that Lightning is by herself for the whole game is also quite rare for an RPG. Usually you would definitely be expecting to have had a full crew of fighters with you. instead you have tons of costumes you can access which all have different powers. It’s fun and unique but I do ultimately prefer having a full squad. Ultimately this is a great game even with the limitations though and I would recommend checking it out.

Overall 8/10

Ransom (1996) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s thriller time! Whenever someone is taken for ransom you have to decide if you will pay it or not. This is a pretty big dilemma and everyone will have different answers here. I tend to agree with this film’s position on not paying the ransom. If you pay once then they will just do it again or in the worst case they don’t intend on returning the person anyway. You’re taking some considerable risks here. No matter what you pick, the important thing is to never look back.

The film starts with Tom and Kate enjoying a nice day in the park. They are both pretty busy with events and lose sight of the kid. Sean is kidnapped by a bunch of villains and then they send a ransom call. They want millions of dollars from Tom or the kid will die. Tom is a super mega millionaire so he’s fine with paying the money at first but then gets the idea that paying the money will effectively be a death sentence for Sean. So he decides not to pay but now everybody has turned against him and thinks that this is the wrong decision. Has he just made a grave error or is he doing the right thing?

As with all kidnapping films, there is more than a little suspense for disbelief here. In a place as super crowded as what we saw in the opening, I find it hard to believe that there would be no witnesses. I do think the parents should have been more careful and I feel the same way in real life when I see kids running around by themselves but I don’t see it being this smooth. Either way that’s how the film gets the story going so lets not get bogged down too much there.

Naturally from the intro you can tell that I agree with Tom here. You can’t pay the ransom and I thought that the movie did a good job of explaining the logic. Tom stays strong no matter how many critics he gets so that was impressive. The film even gives him a fight scene in this version which was cool. I would argue that he mishandled the timing though and got pretty lucky. He should have tackled the villain once he had spotted the guy and in the end he should have finished him because the guy nearly got another shot off. All in all, he did a lot more right than wrong though and was a good lead.

Unfortunately his wife Kate looks pretty bad the whole time. She crashes out on multiple occasions here as she just wants to pay the money. Then when she gets a suspicious letter she ends up going outside by herself and beaten up. She really needed to think things through more. Yes of course she is also doing everything she can for her son and I appreciate that but you can’t succeed on your own. Once Tom made his decision, she needed to stand by him instead of just making the situation worse. Throughout the film she is one of his biggest challenges because she actively eats away at his confidence.

Meanwhile for the villains, they’re all irredeemable and you don’t feel any pity for them. When you get into the business of kidnapping then you deserve everything that comes to you. Jimmy may have been the mastermind but they were all in on it so when they were getting shot you don’t really care about them. As for Jimmy, he was definitely holding his own for quite a while there and ultimately just got greedy. He did make for a fun contrast as we would see him panicking when Tom would get on TV and start with the threats. We got to see just how shaken up he was the whole time.

The police don’t look great here though. Jumping in unprepared ends up leading them to shooting the only witness. It was incredibly sloppy as they couldn’t have handled that worse. Meanwhile the lead officer leaking secrets to try and shake up the marriage was a low blow. He wants the characters to pay the ransom but taking it into his own hands like that was a bit much. Likewise we also see him talking on the phone about how he’s glad that he isn’t rich which feels incredibly inappropriate. Even aside from the fact that someone might hear him, it’s the worst possible time to say that. He really needs to work on his mindset.

Well nobody’s perfect but it does underscore that Tom is really on his own here. If he even thinks to rely on the police then he will be in trouble and naturally that is exactly what you don’t want to hear. It’s already a stressful situation and being on your own makes it even tougher. That’s why it was impressive that Tom stuck to his guns and never looked back. If he had been shaken up and changed courses then things would not have gone well at all.

Overall, Random is a pretty good movie. It should have you on the edge of your seat the whole time. The writing is pretty good and I really enjoy the premise. It makes for a fun game of cat and mouse. It also allows Tom to actually tough talk to the villains for once rather than the usual setup where the villain just smack talks and gloats for 2 hours. This time the hero gets to take the offensive which is really refreshing. It makes the film a little more fun without sacrificing the atmosphere. At the end of the day the story itself is simple enough but the film is able to craft a really interesting movie out of it by executing well on every aspect. The film has no real weaknesses to speak of here which is impressive and not so easily done. You can trip up in a lot of ways for a thriller like this. So I would definitely recommend checking the movie out.

Overall 7/10

Scarface (1983) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those iconic gangster films. In a lot of ways it tackles the classic rise to infamy type of story but takes its time with it. The film boasts a very impressive runtime of nearly 3 hours but as a result it can move rather slowly at times. I would also argue that Tony himself looks far less impressive in this version as he falls to the vices faster. Perhaps it is good in terms of not letting people accidentally look up to him but in the film’s context it does mean that he is considerably weaker than the original.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Tony and Manny who slip into the USA. They’re going to be starting out as bottom barrel thugs but Tony has dreams of rising up to the very top. He continues taking more and more risky jobs as he moves up the ranks. His ambition knows no bounds, the guy wants to own everything. He also falls for the wife of his boss. If he’s told no about anything then Tony wants it, that’s the way he lives and how he plans to move until his death.

Obviously this does mean that this is one of those films where you are rooting for the cops to take him down. Tony is a villain through and through. He has some moral scruples compared to other gang members but the guy is still a mass murderer who does whatever he feels like. He gets addicted to drugs to the point where he can barely focus on anything. So he becomes someone whose personality flips on a dime. He’ll blow up out of nowhere and this makes him a very dangerous leader.

It’s a bad mix when you’re in a sudden death career like being a mobster while also being completely addicted to drugs. He’s basically taken in by all of the bad vices and is too far gone to ever go back. Meanwhile there is a subplot where he doesn’t want his siter to go down this path so he gets very demanding in terms of what she can or cannot do. He seems to want her to be alone for her whole life and to just stay indoors. It’s not a particularly reasonable position and so she makes things go pretty badly for him as well although I would have liked her to have finished him off. Instead she just completely cracks in this version which isn’t satisfying in the slightest.

Tony goes around betraying everyone all the time so he doesn’t have many loyal allies by the end. There’s his best friend but then Tony gets upset because of his sister being involved so that’s it for that. Again Tony is really burying himself at this point. Even his obsession with Elvira shows how bad Tony is at making the right decisions. Why would you ever want to get together with a girl who flat out does not like you? She only likes the money and status which isn’t a good idea for a relationship.

This even happens in real life as there are a few people who keep getting passed around in an endless cycle because I guess everyone wants to prove themselves but it seems like a terrible idea. With his influence Tony could have had a whole lot of options but no he wanted the lady who was already married. Elvira may not be a good person in the slightest but I still put most of the burden on Tony here for trying to break up the marriage from the start.

The film has some violent moments to be sure. It doesn’t mind having some blood spray during the gunfights and there is the axe moment. In this case you can count on people being shot in non combat situations as well like the scene where Tony shoots one of the passengers in his car. You probably shouldn’t double cross the leader of a mafia boss like that. Tony said he doesn’t murder kids and so he took steps to enforce this position. It was a good scene for Tony amidst a mountain of bad moments but we’ll take what we can get here.

I feel like the police had a smaller role here than in the original film despite the longer screentime. Yes we’ve got the corrupt cop but we don’t get the perspective of the main police force hunting this guy the whole time. That could have helped this film by giving us some tangible characters to root for. It’s why films based around the villains are always fighting an uphill battle. Unless the villain is super charismatic or has a goal that you can empathize with then you run the risk of the film just being too dreary. This one never really gets past that to make the case on why you should really be invested in the title. Just give me one really likable character and that could change things at least a little but the movie never really does that.

Overall, Scarface may be an iconic film but I wouldn’t say it’s all that good. It does show off the rough life of a gangster and it’s not like you have any real sympathy here because they are all bad apples anyway. This is a life that they completely chose for themselves after all. Now they have to contend with the dark side of their own career. The more that Tony loses, the happier you get as the audience. At the same time, this is just not a happy film. It’s a very serious one that just keeps on going and so when the film isn’t fun that takes a lot of the pop out of it. It’s hard to succeed under such circumstances. I’d recommend just watching the original one instead which handled the material a lot better.

Overall 4/10

Bullet Train Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Bullet Train definitely got a whole lot of marketing and advertising when it was first coming out. It was going to be a totally crazy film filled with lots of assassins and action the whole time. I’m always up for an ensemble film and so this was pretty fun although I do think it could have utilized the ensemble part a little more.

Ladybug is one of those bounty hunter/special agents who takes on different requests for money. I hesitate to call him a straight up assassin like the rest of the people on the train because he’s rarely going after any lives and people just die on accident. Ladybug’s filling in for a sick colleague here. This should be easy, he just has to get on the train, steal a suitcase, and then head back out. Easy peasy. What he doesn’t know is that he has a whole lot of company. One guy is here to murder the person who put his son in the hospital, a pair of assassins was hired by a top mafia boss for another mission, a little girl is here for murder, etc. Everybody has their own motivations but they are all fighting for the kill. Can Ladybug handle them all? On one hand he clearly has more experience than most of these guys but on the other hand he’s not nearly as bloodthirsty. He will have to think carefully here.

So before I mentioned how I didn’t think the ensemble part was handled perfectly and that’s because some of these characters get almost nothing to do. In particularly the poison girl and the knife guy are dispatched rather quickly. We still get backstories for both characters but as a result they just didn’t get to feel important. An easy fix to this I’d say would have been to have had their origins earlier. That way you are waiting for them to appear for most of the film. Even without increasing the sheer amount of screentime, their presence would be felt more.

I would even say to go one step further, it might have been a good idea to have shown everyone’s origins at the start of the film. Then as they all step foot on the train it becomes a true battle royale. You can make an exception for one or two characters who rely on twists but this would have definitely helped. Even so, the film does a good job of juggling quite a few characters and even giving them full personalities. You end up remembering them even well past the film’s runtime which is impressive.

At times the film’s tonal shifts can be a bit much. Sometimes you start to look forward to a big fight and then it doesn’t quite play out. On the other hand, the light tone and humor is part of what makes the film fun. On the whole I would have liked to play the fights more straight but the ones that we do get tend to be pretty good. The film’s light tone also helps to prevent things from getting too dreary which could have easily occurred otherwise.

The movie can be fairly violent but at least most of the scenes are combat related so it doesn’t feel too bad. Enough to be noticeable but not enough where I would dock serious points for it or anything like that. The visuals for the film were really nice though and it made good use of the mascots and colorful backgrounds. The train looked like it would be very comfortable to ride on.

As the main character Ladybug was decent. He definitely messed up by not getting off the train earlier though. It’s a good thing he’s lucky because otherwise the mission made no sense. He was only able to get the suitcase at the start because the two assassins left it alone and totally forgot about it. Usually I’d call that plot hax but the film specifically shows how Ladybug is always super lucky (Although he sees it as bad luck since he doesn’t like to see people getting murdered) so I can overlook that. He gets lucky throughout the film but that’s the point. He does a good job of not letting it get to him though and has a lot of the most enjoyable bits of dialogue here. He does a good job of leading the film.

Lemon was a really fun guy who was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine. This was a fun and original gimmick. I know an online account that is always talking about that train so it’s nice to see the franchise being referenced. Lemon may not be the biggest genius in the room but he can read people and that trait continues throughout the film. He gets a bit sloppy at one point but always did a good job of lightening up the atmosphere. His confrontation with Ladybug was really good.

Then we have Tangerine who is the serious member of the duo. He may argue with Lemon a lot but does trust the guy’s judgment when it counts. If he was just a hair trigger faster he could have ended the movie sooner. Ultimately he just wasn’t able to connect with his shot before it was too late. The film did a good job of developing both characters.

Then we have our first miss in The Father. Different characters insult him and it makes sense because he’s just super out of his depth here. The instant the Prince revealed herself as responsible for pushing his son off a building, he should have taken her out. Instead he hesitates and this leads him down a long trail of danger. The guy is a really passive fighter the whole time compared to the other characters and that’s what holds him back. He isn’t even close to the others in terms of skill.

The same can be true of Prince but to make up for this she has a lot of plans and contingencies. I give her a whole lot of credit for always remaining on top of the situation. She manipulates a whole lot of characters before the film is over which is more than I can say for some of the others. The Wolf and the Hornet don’t get to do much and are mainly here to fill out the numbers. This is definitely the part where I said the film could have developed them more. That would have made them way more likable and memorable.

The Elder also doesn’t do a lot but his scenes are very memorable. For starters one of his twists makes a lot of sense and I was wondering why The Father didn’t think of this. The Elder was a really good character and dominated in his short screen time. The White Death is a little more forgettable. A decent villain who perhaps got a little too much hype. Less hype may have gone a long way here since his actions could have spoken for themselves instead.

Overall, Bullet Train is a good film. It does deliver on having a lot of action and the ending is also pretty satisfying. I think the movie could have had a little more confidence in its own fight scenes though. Letting the characters go at it a bit longer would have been nice. I also wouldn’t have minded some more verbal confrontations because those were always a lot of fun with how the characters would try to be normal on the surface. It had a very Sakamoto Days kind of vibe there. If you haven’t watched this film yet then I’d recommend it. It makes for a good watch.

Overall 6/10