Category Archives: Reviews

Transporter 2 Review

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It’s time to look at a sequel to the original Transporter. That film was pretty fun and so is this one. It’s fairly short as far as theater films go so everything is always moving at a quick pace. It’s pretty fun and definitely continues the series on a high note. We even get some rock music during the big fights which is always a good decision. I don’t have many real big complaints for this one. It’s a solid action film that will help you spend 90 minutes and you’ll be ready for the third film. This isn’t quite Mission Impossible, but it’s capturing some of that same energy.

The movie starts by showing us that Frank has accepted the role of being a chauffeur for a rich family. It’s a favor to a friend since usually he doesn’t do this kind of work. Still, he gets along with the kid pretty well. Unfortunately, the kid ends up getting kidnapped by some thugs. Frank already made a promise that he would protect the kid so now he has to get ready to keep it. He’ll have to beat up a bunch of people in order to accomplish this but that’s not really a problem for him. Frank knows that he’ll always get the job done.

The premise is pretty simple and that works well for the series. Right from the start we get some big car chase scenes and action segments. Frank was maybe a little slow on the uptake with the fake doctors but he still managed to make it in time which was good. After that the villains had a hostage situation at the ready so that was hard for him to get out of. From there Frank just has to make the most of his connections and fighting skills in order to beat everyone up and save the day. He is already used to this kind of thing after all. The best scene in the film is probably the opening one. I always like a solid intro where the hero beats up the mob that tries to steal his car. Frank makes it look pretty easy.

The villains aren’t really anything to write home about though. Lola is one of the main villains and her twin gun style is fun to watch. The guns have an almost sci-fi feel to them and they certainly hold a lot of ammo. As a character she’s not very interesting though and seems to mostly be there for the fanservice. At least she’s not disappointing though. I admit that I expected a lot more from the boss, Gianni. Gianni’s first scene is him beating up a ton of people in Kendo and this is obviously meant to show that the guy can fight. You may be expecting a big confrontation with Frank like in the first film. However, this guy really pales in comparison to that villain.

We do get a final fight with Frank but Gianni only lasts as long as he does because of airplane shenanigans. As a fighter he doesn’t look very good and I was surprised at that. The build up just went to waste on him. So I’d say that the villains were noticeably weaker than in the first film. As for the supporting cast, we get the french cop but he doesn’t do a lot here. He’s a fun enough side character though so it’s good that he was around. The kid’s parents have a bit of a subplot where they are disagreeing on things quite a bit. Jefferson is rather distant and Aubrey isn’t having a good time. Ultimately their kid being kidnapped helps to put things in perspective for them. I am glad that we didn’t get a random affair with Frank though. That would have just been a terrible idea for sure.

The soundtrack is pretty solid as I mentioned. The random rock music that shows up was great and I’d like to see more of that. All of the fight scenes are pretty fun as well. While they aren’t quite as sophisticated with hand to hand techniques as in the first movie, they still hold up quite well. I also like how sleek the cars are. Frank’s really got an excellent car with lots of defenses and good top speed. The car chases are also pretty fun and we even get close to some Fast and the Furious stunts here like jumping from building to building.

Some parts of the film are glossed over a bit though. For starters, the virus does get transmitted to a bunch of people. Even though we now have the vaccine there’s no way everyone would get it before the fatal 24 hours. Considering that a lot of the people infected were fairly high rank, there would be a global crisis for sure. The events of the film were pretty timely with what’s going on right now so that was definitely an interesting coincidence. Regardless I suppose the important thing is that the virus was stopped so I suppose the film didn’t really need to stay and think about that too hard. As I said, the film was pretty focused and fast moving so it didn’t really take time to stop like that. In general that’s a good thing so I won’t fault the film here. You can definitely stop and point to things that don’t make a lot of sense like the cop who is able to access secure files at the police HQ. There’s no way such a computer won’t have any passwords protecting it. If you stop and think long enough you can point to many such moments in the film, but at the end of the day it’s pretty fun and that’s what really counts here.

Overall, Transporter 2 is pretty solid. You’ll definitely get your fill of action and thrilling moments. Part of the charm in the series is how fast is moves. There’s always something happening. The ending scene is also pretty fun as a nice cliffhanger/here we go again kind of feel. That kind of ending is pretty ideal. It’ll be tough for the third Transporter film to beat this one. I actually would take this one over the original. The original Transporter did have better villains and was certainly longer but this one had a more direct story. I also thought that Frank was a lot more heroic here whereas in the first he really only helped once he was forced into it. Frank’s clearly changed quite a bit over the years. If you like action films then this is definitely one you’ll want to check out.

Overall 7/10

Wario’s Woods Review

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It’s time to look at another classic NES game from a while back. It’s pretty neat that Wario actually got his own game so long ago. Personally I wouldn’t have really expected that. The guy’s popular but even Luigi has only had a handful of games in his career and he’s a lot more popular than Wario. This game’s pretty fun. It’s basically a slightly different take on the Dr Mario series and that works out pretty well. I prefer Dr Mario but this one has an actual story which is cool. The story isn’t deeper than just a handful of cutscenes every once in a while but they’re still pretty cool. I’ll take what I can get.

The gameplay is all about matching the objects and destroying all of the monsters. To defeat a monster you have to match it with 2 blocks of the same color. One of those blocks has to be a bomb and then you’ve got 3 objects in a row of the same color. When you get a match then all 3 objects are destroyed and you rinse and repeat as more blocks appear. New blocks constantly fall from the ceiling so you have to move quickly. If the blocks make it all the way to the top then you’ll have lost as an energy blast instantly zaps you into oblivion. Trust me, it’s not a fate that you will want to experience. At times Wario will take control of the stage and will make the ceiling start falling towards you. That is when the stages are at their hardest so keep on matching. One thing to take note of is that you can match blocks diagonally as well so keep that in mind.

Eventually the monsters themselves get a little more powerful. The only way to defeat them is through the diagonal option and that gets really hard to do when there are monsters everywhere. Other monsters can regenerate so you have to blow them up twice within a short span of time. If you only blow them up once they go back to full power. So there is definitely an increase in difficulty to the point where the final levels are incredibly difficult. It took me around an hour just to knock out 2 near the end. Ultimately I made it to level 60 out of 99. That’s pretty good progress I’d say and kudos to anyone who made it to the end. It’s definitely a lot more difficult than it would appear.

You’ll figure out little tricks as you play the game though. You can quickly grab and then drop a piece while still moving so you sort of cheat the gravity effect. You can jump on top of a bunch of blocks by holding up when lifting a lot of them. Sometimes you will match some blocks you didn’t even know were there while jumping and placing. That’s because the blocks only have to match for an instant in order to count so sometimes I recommend just running around and seeing what sticks. It’s a method that can prove to be most useful.

The graphics are solid. I like the animations and how everyone looks. Wario definitely appears as more of a villain than usual that’s for sure. The presentation is just solid with everything appearing clearly. You won’t have any issue with wondering what is going on in the screen. The soundtrack is more on the generic side, but catchy nonetheless. It’s an easy beat to listen too as you try to make the connections. Wario’s Woods is definitely a soothing game even though it’s very difficult. You can always try again and again until you have it beat.

The amount of content here is also impressive. 99 distinct levels is more than even most modern games would supply. It’s impressive and you don’t really need any replay value other than that. There are some other modes here like a Vs. mode though so you’ve got options. I’m surprised Wario’s Woods never got a sequel or some kind of re-release. I feel like there would be a market for it and you can be sure that it would work quite well as a mobile title. Just look at Dr. Mario. That was one of Nintendo’s better mobile titles if you ask me.

Overall, Wario’s Woods is pretty fun. I appreciate the extra development time they clearly put into this. This is a game that has aged well. If you plan to play the game all the way to the end then definitely expect to stick with this one for quite a while. It’s just fun to play and the kind of game that you can plug in at any time. The fundamentals will come back to you pretty quickly but you will want to play it a lot to keep your speed up. The faster you match the objects the better in order to increase your score and make it up to the end.

Overall 6/10

The Power Review

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It’s time to look at a film about having powers. Similar to how characters love to yell “I have the Power!!!” there are some who prefer to be more discreet about it. That’s the setting for this film and it plays out as a suspenseful thriller. It’s a slow burner as the villain keeps on making little moves until the end of the film where the climax hits. Now, this is one of those films where if you think long and hard about it you’ll cringe at how nothing makes any sense, but that’s almost inevitable when you make a villain too powerful. It’s still a fun movie though and the ending was very unexpected so I’ll give the film some props there.

The movie starts with a government investor heading to a science firm to see how his money has been used. He is given the tour and this is basically a facility that explores pain. Every gadget in the building is wired to torture people in every which way. They get volunteers by paying people a ton of money although if you ask me it’s definitely not worth it to be put through this stuff. The government guy seems a bit unnerved but ultimately doesn’t mind and heads to the meeting. That’s when a scientist explains that he has proof that someone on the board has psychic powers based on a test he gave out. We never see this test in part because it’s a crazy concept in the first place that a test could measure something like that. If your IQ is above the max score that’s about it. Still, everyone agrees to do a quick experiment and we find out that someone does have psychic powers because a page moved all on its own. We just don’t know who did it.

The scientist is quickly murdered that night and Jim is the main suspect. Jim doesn’t like this but all of his so called “friends” betray him except for his colleague/girlfriend Margery. Together they are determined to get to the bottom of this. The only clue they have is the name Adam Hart. Looks like Jim’s going to have to do some detective work but he’ll have to be careful because danger can be anywhere. I mean that in a literal sense since the villain is able to murder people just by thinking about it and the heroes don’t know what kind of range the guy has. It seems to be quite large and the more Jim finds out about this Adam character, the more powerful the villain appears to be.

Right off the bat, let’s just look at the issue here. Adam has quite a lot of powers related to his mental abilities. He can cause illusions for starters and can appear to be anyone. He can alter your memories as well and even create solid light illusions to physically block you. Finally, he can give you a heart attack with a simple mental blast that can go through walls and appear from anywhere. As I said, the range is unknown but it seems to be quite long and there’s no defense against him since he can appear as anyone. So he takes his sweet time bumping everyone off but he could have easily taken them all out a whole lot sooner. There’s no real reason not to do it since he can assume a new identity and alter everyone’s memories so that he was always there. The guy is insanely powerful. The film offers up a decent reason for why he doesn’t finish off Jim despite attacking him several times. It only works a bit though, I can’t give it full marks there.

If we go with the reason that the film provides then that means Adam has some very severe limitations and that he is completely outclassed in some respects. It just doesn’t work because the psychic shields weren’t up yet and the guy should have tried harder especially since he already knew the twist before the audience did. I can’t really go any further than that but as I said the ending is quite excellent. It plays out a bit like a Shounen Jump title as we get a trippy scene of someone falling through darkness similar to many anime intros and then ultimately bursting out. This one does use some recycled footage and goes on for a tad bit too long but it’s still effective and the ending is quite brilliant. It also serves as a few twists at once. The way the scenes are shot just makes everyone look real suspicious.

I guess I can’t say who I thought was the culprit because just saying that would imply that it’s someone else. All I’ll say is the film gives you one obvious suspect and then a very subtle one which was who I assumed it was. Turns out that was not the case so the film did good with its misdirection. The writing was pretty solid in terms of script and pacing. Obviously the telepathic abilities are still an issue here as the heroes should have been completely wrecked the whole time but otherwise it was solid. I’d say the film just had a bit of a slow beginning as we explore the pain asylum. The place was really on the gruesome side. The first death was also a bit intense although after that it all stays rather normal.

The characters are okay although not amazing. Considering that they’re in a pretty hopeless spot they do their best. Margery definitely takes on some pretty dangerous situations and does a good of coming out on top. Jim makes fewer good decisions though. I still don’t know what he was thinking getting in the car with someone who he was being quite aggressive to the entire time and trusting that things would go well. That scene made him look pretty terrible. I also thought Jim was unnecessarily rude to the car mechanic guy right from the jump. It’s a bit odd as he is incredibly hostile to the guy before they even exchange a word. I guess they got off on the wrong foot. There are a few other members of the council of course like the friend who is quick to not have Jim’s back and then the German professor who falls asleep rather easily and doesn’t really help the heroes out. There wasn’t a whole lot the guy could have really done anyway though.

Overall, The Power is an interesting movie. Parts of the movie can be a bit slow like the whole party scene that goes on for a bit longer than it needs too. The heroes also sure do get distracted by romance a lot during a pretty serious situation. Jim is super reluctant to even look into a possible murder near the beginning of the film since he just wants to hang out with Margery. You know, Jim sounds worse and worse as I write this review so maybe he was just a bad character. While all of these factors keep it from being a very good film, I’d still call it a good one. The ending alone helps make this worth a watch because I really like how the twist was implemented. The murder mystery at its core is also pretty interesting as everyone gets bumped off one by one. If you want to see a paranormal hunter gunning after everyone then this is the film to check out. It is a unique premise as I can’t recall seeing another movie quite like this one.

Overall 6/10

We Love Pocket Monsters Review

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It’s time to look at a super short Pokemon series. This was a small 4 koma with two chapters of around 3-4 pages each so you can see how it doesn’t take very long to read. It seems like a small advertisement of sorts for the latest Pokemon season. Ash and Go make a quick cameo as well as they help one of the girls try to catch a Pokemon. It’s nice enough, but there seriously is only so much you can do in that amount of time. 4 Koma does make sense in this respect since you can certainly get a lot more work done that way than with traditional pages. In a sense each page can have 2 really tiny stories. So this was a fun read but it’ll only last you around 5 minutes and probably less since a minute per page is pretty generous.

So the basic premise is that there are two girls who are really excited to get a Pokemon. They look a bit younger than 10 but it can be hard to guess age and I always thought you didn’t really have to be 10 to get a Pokemon outside of the main trainers. We see little kids with Pokemon in the anime all the time. A lot of the time they’re more for being pets as opposed to in actual battles though which makes sense. In the pages we quickly see their personalities. One girl is very energetic and loves just jumping into situations. Unfortunately her aggressive personality does cause Pokemon to end up running away from her which can be sad. Even Pikachu panics and zaps everyone which is something you don’t see him do much anymore. The other girl is the more laidback/reserved member who is still excited about Pokemon but does so with more restraint. Both of the characters are fun enough.

The art is all right. It’s definitely nothing amazing but it still looked good enough to me. It’s not as if it would be distracting or anything like that. It’s bright and you can follow what is going on which is ultimately what you’re hoping for here. There isn’t enough time for any fight scenes or anything like that so we don’t get to really test the artwork. Maybe someday we’ll get a full fledged story with these characters. I’d be up for that although admittedly the odds of something like that happening are incredibly slim. I just gotta face the facts that this is pretty much just a one shot though. Hey, the more one shots the better right?

Overall, This is an extremely short review but it’s an extremely short manga so I’d say that makes sense. I basically wrote 100 words per page if you break it down. There’s literally no reason for me not to recommend this because of how short it is. If you happen to see this story online then you may as well give it a read. You can’t really go wrong here and I’m always up for more Pokemon content. After wrapping up all of the Mystery Dungeon and Ranger games recently they just get me more and more hyped for the upcoming episodes in the anime. I’m hoping Ash is able to claim victory in the tournament.

Overall 5/10

Balloon Fight Review

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It’s time to look at another NES game I recently finished playing through. Balloon Fight is definitely a pretty popular one despite the main character not becoming playable in Super Smash Bros yet. Don’t worry, it’s only a matter of time until they fix that. In the meanwhile it’s fun to look back at how the franchise began. The game has aged quite well and does something almost no other NES game at the time had even thought to do….it has 2 modes. In almost all of my NES reviews I have to mention that there isn’t really anything to do in the way of replay value. Well, that’s not the case for this game. In Balloon Fight you’ve got the main mode and an endless score version.

So the main gameplay of Balloon Fight is that you have to try and pop the balloons carrying your enemies. Then you knock them out before they can grab more. The game is endless so you just see how many levels of this you can survive. Each level has around 4-8 enemies for you to beat. At first this is pretty easy as there are no obstacles or elements getting in your way. The game gradually gets harder though as eventually you have lightning bolts being fired at you and things of that nature. It’s a challenging but fun experience. Your main incentive will be to keep trying to beat your old score.

Then you’ve got the other gameplay mode where you’ve got an auto scrolling screen and a bunch of balloons floating around. Every few balloons you grab lowers your ranking. Your goal is to make it to Rank 1 and then you’ll have beaten the mode. It keeps on going endlessly if you want to keep getting more balloons but that is your main goal. It’s pretty fun and certainly different from the main mode so I like the diversity. You can tell that this game had a good amount of development time behind it. This is what I like to see.

The graphics are simple but effective. The enemies are colorful and the background is catchy. The music theme is also pretty iconic at this point. There’s not much else to say on a technical basis but it doesn’t disappoint. Between the two modes this game should last you close to an hour. There’s also a little replay value in trying to raise your high scores although I wouldn’t say that the replay value is too high either. It’s just right considering that this is a free title with the NES Online.

The controls are very smooth as well and I like how the physics are handled. You can’t just turn at the drop of a dime or anything like that. You do have to account for gravity and everything. If you tried going somewhere very quickly then you will not be able to stop as fast as you would have liked. Also, one fun thing about the game is that crossing the edge of the screen actually doesn’t result in you losing a life the way that it does in most games. That’s a fun little element that may seem pretty random, but I think it does serve to help make the game even more unique. It’s all pretty impressive if you ask me.

There’s not a whole lot more to say about this game in part because of how simplistic it is. The gameplay you’ll understand within seconds of playing it because moving and floating is really all you can do. You beat all of the enemies the same way after all. Sometimes it seems like the simplest games ended up being some of the most addicting ones. It’s the same principle behind a lot of current mobile games that hit it big. There’s just something fun about doing repetitive actions. You start to do them real automatic like and it works out quite well if you ask me.

Overall, Balloon Fight is definitely one of the better NES games. This is exactly why I played a bunch of the low budget type games first. I figured that the longer I kept putting off the big games the more satisfying it would be when I ultimately started playing them back to back at the end. Now all I’ve got are the really big games and the marathon works quite well. I’d definitely be up for a big budget sequel to this someday. I think that would really work well since there is a ton that you can do with the balloon setup. You could even throw a plot in as that’s not something you typically saw a whole lot of back in the classic days.

Overall 6/10

Double Dragon II: The Revenge Review

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It’s tome to look at the sequel to the original Double Dragon. Double Dragon II is a pretty solid followup that handles everything just as good as the first game except for a slightly weaker story experience. At the same time it doesn’t give us any crazy loop levels this time. (Still can’t believe the first one did this) So I’d say that this does beat the original game. It’s really got all the hype you could want from a classic NES game and is a fun way to spend around 30-40 minutes.

The plot of the game is definitely a lot darker than the first one. Instead of being kidnapped, the main heroine is murdered by an opposing gang this time around. The heroes decide to avenge her and head off to destroy the gangs. This will be difficult though as the villains heavily outnumber them by hundreds of fighters. That’s not enough to set these guys back but they’ve also got to find the main hideout which will be tricky. Fortunately they have a lot of henchmen to beat up and one of them ought to know where the villains are. From there it is just a matter of finding the right one.

So I was pretty surprised at the story. I mean, it just seemed really intense for back in the day. That being said, towards the end of the game they start hinting that the heroine is actually alive. We seemingly hear her voice after all. Unfortunately the game cuts out before you can get there. I guess there’s some kind of trick to actually facing the final boss or maybe it’s a difficulty level thing. How the game ended on my playthrough is you fight a shadow clone of yourself. It’s always fun to do that but I never liked the idea of the game hiding the final level behind another difficulty. Cmon, you should let me actually get the ending. Having a bonus for people playing higher difficulties makes sense, but make it in the form of a post game or something instead of cutting out my ending. I thought that was uncalled for.

As for the gameplay, it’s your classic 2D beat em up. You have to keep fighting through scores of enemies in order to beat the level. A lot of them are big bruisers this time so definitely time your punches right or you’ll eat a counter worth a ton of damage. There isn’t much to the controls so you should know how to play the whole thing straightaway without any real problem. That being said, the ninjas will still be a pain to deal with. They move incredibly fast and are constantly jumping. They also like to throw things at you once in a while and I don’t know what the proper strategy is to deal with them. They definitely caused me a ton of restarts and rewinds so these guys are definitely serious business. They were actually even tougher than the bosses to be honest.

The graphics are pretty fun. There is a noticeable improvement which is always good to see. The character designs and stage layouts are all pretty fun. Then when it comes to the soundtrack it’s pretty pleasant. I can’t really say that it’s memorable though but I’d say that the important thing is that it’s not distracting in a bad way. A good soundtrack should enhance the experience and I’d say that it does even if only slightly. The game’s fairly short also so it’s not like you got to experience it for very long. You’ll be through the game in no time.

There isn’t really much replay value though. I suppose if you picked the wrong settings or something then you will need to play the ending again. I’d look up why you don’t get the real ending before you play the game though just to save yourself some time. If it is that you have to beat the game twice no matter what they that’s really forced to try and make the length better. I never support that kind of practice, it just seems a bit underhanded to me. You shouldn’t force people to play your game a lot through gimmicks like that.

Overall, Double Dragon II really shows you what a sequel is supposed to be all about. It grabs the positives from the first game and erases the big negative I had with it. All of the levels here are pretty linear and you don’t have to worry about the game trying to trick you. It’s all about just using your skills here and fighting with great speed and precision. So long as you do that then you’ll be okay. I’m slowly but surely making my way through all of these classic NES games. I think this may have been the last full fighting game left though so it’ll be missed.

Overall 6/10

The Seventh Victim Review

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It’s time to look at an old film about lots of mysterious things going around. Unfortunately the conclusion to this ends up being pretty weak which takes away from the experience. You can’t help but feel like the whole thing was pretty pointless in the end. Everyone acts rather oddly for the plot and the film’s ending is so abrupt that it feels like a ton of it was cut out. Abrupt endings can work out quite well and I do like cliffhangers but it felt like almost nothing was resolved.

The movie starts out with Mary finding out that Jacqueline has gone missing. She leaves school to go and find her, however it’s a big city and Jacqueline isn’t at her business anymore since she apparently sold it to someone. Mary meets up with Jacqueline’s husband Gregory who agrees to help find her. Unfortunately this guy isn’t very helpful at all so Mary uses a private detective to break into a building where Jacqueline may be. Unfortunately the guy gets murdered and slowly Mary starts to figure that maybe she should give up. She is easily intimidated by one of the villains after all.

Part of the issue here is that Jacqueline handles everything pretty terribly. First off she did get into a crazy cult which is already bad enough. From there she keeps hiding from the world rather than exposing them. Presumably they are blackmailing her with something but to the point where she has to give up all of her businesses and money? At that point she’s got to do something to defend herself rather than playing defense. We get really random scenes like her not talking to the hero or stabbing people. She gets a little startled but then doesn’t even talk to defend herself. You’ve also got the pretty terrible ending that really seals the deal on my not liking this character. Now the villains get to go free without any testimony against them.

Gregory is also an annoying character here since he is literally married to Jacqueline and ends up falling for Mary. This is the same guy who was calling her a child earlier and making a lot of snide remarks. It’s great that they get along, but why’d it have to escalate so quickly? It’s hard to get a read on Gregory but this definitely didn’t do his character any wonders. Then you have Jason who seems nice enough. He’s got connections and helps the heroes find Jacqueline at least. His whole origin story involving knowing Louis a while back feels pointless though. Louis not telling Jason that his friend went completely crazy was also odd.

The film just has a lot of little elements here and there that don’t make sense and don’t add to anything. The best character was Irving since at least he did his best to try and find out the truth of what was going on. Too bad he ended up getting stabbed so easily though. He knew that something dangerous was behind the door so he definitely should have gone through a little more carefully in that case right? When you consider how dark it is especially.

I think the film wasn’t sure if it wanted to go towards total conspiracy land or keeping things more grounded. The whole film was building up to something big and crazy but by the end we see it’s just a small little club with around 5 members. They don’t even believe in violence themselves although they hire people to get the job done so it’s basically the same thing. They shouldn’t have all that much sway at all so if Jacqueline went to the cops she should be fine. Louis is also really an accomplice here since he does all he can to get in the way of the heroes. The guy was acting like a villain the whole time.

How did the heroes break into the hospital so easily anyway? You’d think that security would be tighter. Then the villains somehow finding a way to get Irving’s body out of there without anybody seeing is also pretty sketchy. The whole film works a lot better if you change the twist. Have Jacqueline be involved in a country-wide conspiracy where everyone is a suspect and the whole thing works out a lot better. Personally that would have made the film better although it probably wouldn’t have saved it. To be a good noir thriller or conspiracy thriller you need a good set of characters. It’s the only way you are going to get through and Irving was really the only solid one. The others were all super submissive and would not stand up to the villains in the slightest.

Even the brief “confrontation” we get with the main characters and the villains is super quick. It’s supposed to be pretty emotional and intense but it’s extremely quick and if this shook the villain cult to their core they must have never been all that serious in the first place. Why couldn’t we have had a scene with the cops coming to arrest them? A quick moment like that would have made a world of difference, but instead the film ends where it began, with nothing really happening.

Overall, I’d recommend avoiding this film. The Seventh Victim’s title basically summarizes everything that happens in the movie anyway. The rest is really just fluff to keep you going. The suspense does work reasonably well but since the resolution to it is pretty sub-par that just means that all of the build up ends up feeling pretty pointless. Definitely not the way to wrap up this cinematic experience. Perhaps with all of the cut scenes they could have helped improve the film although it would have taken a lot to save the film entirely and push it over a 5.

Overall 3/10

Séance on a Wet Afternoon Review

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It’s time to look at an old film about a couple of insane people trying to see what’s worse, being an insane criminal or being a gutless accomplice. The two of them duke it out for the whole film on which character is worse. For my money I’m going with the accomplice because at least the villain is straight forward with this. The accomplice is always offering some justifications and half heartedly saying they should stop. This is definitely a film that drags on for quite a bit so be prepared.

The movie starts with Myra hosting another seance with a group of her friends. Afterwards she tells Billy that it’s time to enact their plan. They’re going to kidnap a kid and will hold her for ransom for a while. Once the cops are unable to turn up any leads she will use her fake psychic powers to tell them where the kid is. At that point she will be rich and famous just like she’s always wanted. Her husband Billy is less sure of the plan but he’s not even sure of his own sanity so Myra sends him to get the job done. Kidnapping the girl is criminally easy because everyone is negligent in this film so once they have the girl Myra gets her plan into action. The only tricky part is that aside from every part of the plan being pretty insane Myra’s own fragile psyche is getting worse and worse. Soon she may not even be able to speak rationally.

Obviously I don’t have a whole lot of respect for these two characters. Myra is portrayed as insane from the start and is just super lucky that she has Billy here. He does whatever she said. Even when she turns off the music and Billy sees her do it, she just says that he did and he accepts this. Billy accepts whatever Myra says to pretty crazy degrees. The whole opening scenes are basically just Myra making a long speech and doing whatever she wants and telling Billy he better agree to it. These scenes are a chore to get through in part because of her but definitely because of Billy.

Billy is one of the most annoying characters in a while because the guy just acts defeated in every single scene. He somehow is able to pull off the kidnapping and stealing the money despite all of this which is a stretch. What kind of designated driver for a super rich family just leaves the car alone and unlocked with the key in the ignition when a stranger is there? The whole thing was super suspect and he should have taken the kid with him. Billy had no real backup plan either so the whole thing was based on a lot of luck.

The villains are also asking to be foiled the whole time by doing things like having a seance with one of the parents while the kid is right upstairs. The room also didn’t seem very sound proof either and the kid should have done something. That would have been a tougher spot but yelling a bit would be ideal. The only good characters here are the parents. I’m glad that the father wasn’t falling for the supernatural nonsense. The Mom gave the main characters a little more of a chance and got pretty emotional but I won’t blame her either since the situation is so intense.

Going back to the plan though, even if Myra did use her “abilities” to find the kid it’s not like the cops would believe her. That would just throw even more suspicion on Myra being the one to kidnap her since she was already making that point pretty obvious early on. At the end Myra even wants to murder the kid and that would really seal her fate. That’s the thing with having main characters like this though, it’s never going to make sense in the end.

Ultimately the film doesn’t go for the ultimate grim ending which is good because that would have been an easy way to hit 0. The ending isn’t bad but it doesn’t help the rest of the film. The whole scene of Myra cracking in the climax as she talks to herself goes on for a very long time and it’s all nonsense so you wish the film would just gloss over it. Since we know she is crazy from the jump I think it’s fair for us to just skip the scenes entirely. You already get the point of the film. The cops did good even if the one detective should have been more confident. I liked the code of how they would pretend to be talking about a car radio while trying to identify Billy as the thief from earlier. The detectives did a lot of beating around the bush and passive aggressive talk but at the end of the day they got the job done and that’s what counts.

Overall, This is definitely a movie that I would advise you to avoid. There’s really nothing positive to say about it. The whole movie is very slow and the main problem here is that all of the focus is on the main two characters and they’re not likable in the slightest. They’re just petty criminals who are also insane and I think it’s pretty much impossible to have a quality film about such leads. The film should have been from the focus of the detective or the cops. That would have made for a much more interesting story at least and the film would have been better off with that change.

Overall 2/10

Only You Review

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It’s time to look at an old school romance drama. Unfortunately this one is really not that good. The main characters are all pretty terrible which makes it hard to sympathize with any of them. Some of the scenes can be tragically funny in a way but you still have to shake your head for most of it. My hot take here is that the film should have focused more on the search for Damon Bradley and less on finding him so many times. That would have worked out a lot better if you ask me, but that’s just a theory.

So the film’s present timeline starts out with Faith getting ready to be married to her fiance. I forget the guy’s name and it really doesn’t matter since he’s only in it for a few scenes. He tries to mess with Faith’s hair and also promises on her behalf that she will wear an ancient wedding dress to her own wedding. Faith feels like her life is crumbling apart and she has fallen away from her destiny. See, as a kid she always knew that the guy she would need to marry was Damon Bradley because that guy was going to be her dream partner according to an occult board game and a fortune teller. That’s not how the dice worked out though but then she gets a call from Damon Bradley. He says that he is a friend of her fiancee’s and then hangs up. Faith was able to get some info out of him though and knows that Venice is where she needs to be.

Faith packs some stuff and quickly heads to Venice along with her sister-in law Kate. They now have to search the whole country for him. Getting in their way is a guy named Peter who suckers Faith into having a one night stand with him by pretending to be Damon but then decides to atone by helping her find him. The problem is that along the way he keeps tricking her over and over again. Will Faith give up on her whole Destiny angle or will she just keep on finding various Damons to get past the friend zone with until it’s the right one? It’s going to definitely be a long day for her.

This film has quite a lot of issues so it’s always hard to know where to start. I suppose I would start off with the fact that Faith is just not a very likable character. From the start she is not portrayed all that well as she is instantly ready to throw her fiance away when she hears the name Damon. It’s fine if she didn’t really like him to call things off, but why wait til the last second? She doesn’t even tell him where she is going, she just vanishes. I mean, the guy never even notices which is pretty insane but that’s just the way it is. Now, if she still had some morals about it that would be one thing, but she acts incredibly desperate each time.

She is basically throwing herself at anyone who claims to be Damon Bradley and really seems to have no shame. The whole affair with Peter really tells you all you need to know about her. She was about to call off the wedding after just meeting him until Peter made a rookie mistake and left his identity out. Faith never gets better from here and you’d think after such a humiliating scene she wouldn’t fall for these tricks again…but she still does.

Meanwhile this doesn’t let Peter off the hook either. He lies to Faith a whole lot. It’s supposed to be endearing or even funny based on how the film presents it, but it’s pretty tragic if you think about it. He was really just taking advantage of Faith and you can’t feel bad for him when he gets emotional because the whole thing really is his fault. Just because Faith is super easy doesn’t mean it’s right to still be tricking her the whole time.

Then we have Kate who is another poor character. She is actually married already and decides to have an affair with a random guy anyway. She keeps telling herself that he knows she is married and won’t try anything but they both keep giving each other hints so of course an affair was going to happen. The film paints her husband Larry as a guy who’s not exactly the most charming and does call her telling her to go make a sandwich. It’s obvious that he’s not supposed to be a very likable character either but Kate is the one who comes across as more petty. She thinks he is cheating on her with no evidence and naturally it turns out to not be true. While Larry was not the nicest guy, at least he wasn’t cheating on her.

These various plotlines just really don’t work wonders for the film. By the end of it the general morale is that none of these relationships are likely to last for very long. Kate’s not trust worthy and the same is true for both Faith and Peter. Faith won’t forget that Peter lies to her face quite a bit and he won’t forget that she came close to having 3 different affairs in the span of a week. The odds of them managing to pull through this in one piece are pretty slim.

At least the backdrops are pretty fun. It’s always nice to see Venice. I wouldn’t want to live there because that’s just way too much water for me, but the scenery is good. The film also does have some fun moments like the contrast it shows between New York and Italy. In New York there was no way they were going to let the main heroine on the plane without a ticket but in Italy since they were helping her get the guy they stop the plane and let her on. It’s a pretty stark contrast and it was naturally a blast to see New York looking so good. We definitely don’t let people randomly get on trains. The film also has some good meme material with how everyone is constantly clapping at the heroes making up with each other. You don’t see the reactions you’d expect like people being upset that their flight is being held. It’s all wholesome to these guys.

Overall, Only You is a film that’s definitely not very realistic. The writing could use some work and the characters just are not likable. You can definitely have some fun with this film as it goes on but the whole thing just doesn’t make a lot of sense most of the time. I’m still surprised that Faith’s fiance never got to appear at the end. Kate should also remember that Faith was very quick to ignore her current plight. Kate was literally in tears asking Faith for help and our nice heroine brushed her off to take a phone call and starting celebrating when it was Damon. Keep in mind that Kate is still in a mess on the floor next to her. The film definitely makes sure that you are unsure if we are supposed to root for the main character or not and that is an original approach. You can do better with a different rom-com.

Overall 4/10

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity Review

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It’s time to take a look at the next Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game. This one actually ended up being the longest one yet so it definitely gave you time to be attached to the characters. It’s a great game and definitely one that I would recommend. While it is not quite able to top the last one, it really has no weaknesses. The mechanics are easy to pick up on and we get some pretty cool cinematics. Now there is only one Mystery Dungeon game left so I am definitely going to miss them when they’re gone.

The game starts off with Terry arriving from the human world and turning into a Pokemon. He meets up with Tepig who is trying to build a Pokemon guild so they can share paradise with him. “Paradise” is the name of the town that Tepig is creating but it’s been tough since Pokemon in this world don’t like each other which makes things pretty tricky. Terry agrees to help Tepig and initially they start by befriending local Pokemon and getting materials to build the house. We get more of a plot soon as a mysterious pair of Pokemon show up and explain that the world as we know it is about to end. The heroes will now have to buckle up and head out to protect the present, but doing so may involve destroying the future. Can Terry and Tepig really pull the trigger and make such a call?

While the plot does get pretty high tier as you would expect, it does have a longer opening act than the last title to allow you to get used to the village and the members. Since part of the plot deals with Pokemon not liking each other the game wants to really make sure you know what’s going on here before you get into the meat of the story. It’s a fun opening act though and part of why it’s solid is because Terry is solid. He talks quite a bit more than the other main characters from previous games which I think is definitely a good move. He feels like a natural leader and doesn’t rely on thought bubbles. One particularly impressive scene is when he takes down 3 bosses at once and later holds his own against another 5 before being saved. Terry is portrayed as a real fighter here and it was really a lot of fun to play as him.

The supporting cast is also pretty solid. Tepig’s a nice guy and he’s a lot more reasonable than your partner from the last game. Tepig at least always tries to do the right thing and doesn’t keep hounding on the other characters over mild matters. Emolga and Dunsparce have a good bond between them. I like that Emolga was always ready to step up for his friend and make the hard calls. If anything Dunsparce was just less impressive because he was a bit too gullible and obsessed with Virizion. Virizion was solid as one of the wise characters and while she didn’t really believe in friends, I couldn’t really blame her for that. She certainly did not have the best prior experiences with them. I also loved having her on the party because of how powerful she was.

Umbreon and Espeon are pretty solid. They are definitely very business oriented so they don’t mess around as much as the others. The Voice of Life made for a pretty interesting character. Just from the name you can tell that this guy has quite a lot of power. Unfortunately I have to give him a thumbs down here because at the end of the day he keeps saying that he has no choice and can’t really do anything about anything but you gotta be able to do more than that when you have cosmic powers. What’s the point if at the end of the day you’re not going to use them? Kyurem was definitely cool though. All of his scenes were definitely pretty hype and he had a menacing air about him. His goal also wasn’t all that bad. It was actually very reasonable which made him a compelling antagonist.

One subplot in the game that I don’t think was really needed though was Keldeo. The plot wouldn’t have really changed almost any part of the story so if you cut him out it all works out quite nicely. He tries to talk a bit tough by the end but nobody’s buying that. As for Kyurem’s position that I mentioned earlier, it’s basically that you shouldn’t change the future just because you don’t like it. The whole concept of the game is that we’re going to change the future because it turns out to be an apocalyptic one while Kyurem’s saying that it has to be preserved. I’ve always been for changing the timestream so I’m not objective in the slightest but I’m with the heroes here. If it’s a bad future then you’ve got to change it.

Additionally, it’s Kyurem’s view that we’re changing the future. Last I checked, the whole game takes place in the present so his argument loses a lot of steam. So long as we did not build a time machine or something it’s all fair game if you ask me. So in effect by trying to stop us he’s changing the future just as much. No future is certain unless you’re actively moving through time. Thanos for example has a stronger case since the Avengers got salty that they lost and started playing with time. That’s not what the heroes are doing here.

The gameplay is your traditional overhead turn based combat. It plays out a bit like a Fire Emblem game only you are moving through a dungeon. You recover health as you move and the goal is always to get to the final dungeon where you may or may not fight a boss. You have 4 different attacks and can have up to 3 partners with you. Be careful, your main partner will count as a second life so if one of you dies then the whole mission is a fail. Just something to watch out for because your partners tend to take really big risks for some reason.

Also, make sure you have a good amount of items before tackling the final boss. I had saved up a ton of them throughout the game so I was ready for it. Otherwise, you could be in for a pickle because the game saves after the first form of the final boss so if you’re not ready to fight the real one then you could end up being stuck in a loop. Hopefully there’s a way out of that but I didn’t intend on risking everything to find out. That’s why I always keep items in the bank for tricky situations like that. I was really glad I had the stash when I walked into the fight. One tip I have is to use the orbs you get during the levels. You get some that will put every Pokemon to sleep for example and they are incredibly handy.

The main campaign should definitely last you a clean 15 hours at the least. Aside from that the game has a ton of content to explore. You can get materials and money to build up the town and make a lot of gardens. I didn’t really play around with this feature, but there’s a lot you can do here. Additionally there are a bunch of extra dungeons and Pokemon to recruit to your cause. You can also work on maxing your guild’s rank up. If you do all of this the game should really last you for quite a long time. Then we get to the graphics and soundtrack which are both quite solid. The soundtrack has some catchy tunes even if none of them are all stars. The graphics are particularly impressive with each of the characters having a 3D model now. That’s not something we’ve really seen a whole lot so it was pretty fun.

Overall, Gates to Infinity is definitely a great game. The gameplay is tight and naturally the graphics/soundtrack are good as well. You’ll have a lot of fun here and aside from a pretty solidly long story you’ve also got a whole lot of post game content to work with. I expect you’ll definitely be kept busy with this game for quite some time. I doubt the price would be too crazy nowadays and either way this game has enough content to really make it worth your while. We really need more Pokemon spinoffs to come out soon because they’ve been pretty dynamite. Pokemon lends itself well to the RPG format.

Overall 8/10